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I don't see any amputees! · Armstrong & Getty One More Thing

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  Speaker 1: You know, it's a really good movie, but I didn't
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  Speaker 1: see any amputees. It's one more thing.
• 0:06
  Speaker 2: I'm one more thing.
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: We're all a little hungover from our Oscar parties last night.
• 0:15
  Speaker 1: We're big Oscar people around here. Did anybody watch a
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  Speaker 1: single second of the show. Nope, Yeah I did. He did. Yeah,
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: good for you.
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  Speaker 3: I didn't miss your bride interest editor. Were you driving
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  Speaker 3: that train?
• 0:28
  Speaker 2: It was mainly her, But you know, we watched it
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  Speaker 2: for the show, so to speak, get a little show preppy.
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: Good for you. And that's the only reason I do
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: most things, is pay attention to most things is for
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  Speaker 1: the show. I have no idea once I'm done with
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  Speaker 1: this job if I'll pay attention to anything ever again.
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  Speaker 1: But I do pay some attention to the Oscars because
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  Speaker 1: it tips me off to things I want to see.
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  Speaker 1: Like I watched Marty Supreme only because Challameay was nominated
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  Speaker 1: for Best Ask Oscar and I heard about how greatest
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: performance was. Otherwise I wouldn't have known about the movie.
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  Speaker 1: So we watched it over the weekend. We really really
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  Speaker 1: enjoyed it. I highly recommended. His performance is freaking unbelievable.
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  Speaker 1: He might be my favorite current actor he's terrific in
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  Speaker 1: all the world.
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  Speaker 3: You know, Sean pennu On the best supporting actor, is
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  Speaker 3: an amazing artist. Yeah, he's absolutely crazy good. But you
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  Speaker 3: know what's interesting about stars?
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  Speaker 1: Excuse me, he's allergical talking about this. Yeah, even talking
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  Speaker 1: about the oscars makeing cough. I'm trying to choke it out,
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  Speaker 1: but I can't.
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  Speaker 3: I'm choking on my hatred.
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  Speaker 1: Uh No.
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  Speaker 3: But you'd think if you were one of the great
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  Speaker 3: gifted artists, you know, in your field, that would be enough.
• 1:32
  Speaker 3: But everybody's also got to be a like top notch
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  Speaker 3: political commentator.
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: Right, kind of funny. This is not a spoiler alert
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  Speaker 1: from Marty Supreme really, although it's a funny line which
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  Speaker 1: kind of gets from if I replete bunker repeated. Anyway,
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: he does an amazing job of pulling off as a
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: noodle boy. I had to explain that term to a
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  Speaker 1: whole bunch of people who had never heard it before.
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  Speaker 1: The whole noodle boy thing is like a section of
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  Speaker 1: sex symbols that apparently a lot of chick into these
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  Speaker 1: really skinny metrosexual dudes like Chalomey. He's dating one of
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  Speaker 1: the Kardashians, one of the hot Kardashi essuan that like
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  Speaker 1: noodle boys, he's clearly a noodle boy. He's shirtless a
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  Speaker 1: fair amount in this movie. Man, he is a skeleton.
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  Speaker 1: I so don't get that. I don't get that either,
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  Speaker 1: but any I mean, and that's the way he's built.
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  Speaker 1: It's not a he can't help it. But the fact
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  Speaker 1: that that has become like a sex symbol style is
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  Speaker 1: kind of interesting to me.
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  Speaker 3: But either reminds me almost of the early seventies, when
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  Speaker 3: early mid seventies when like metro sexual kind of gender bendy,
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  Speaker 3: you know, kind of hairless, skinny heroin looking dudes for sex,
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  Speaker 3: Jimmy Page, you know, with David Bowie, that sort of character.
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  Speaker 1: Although if I was a check I'd like Shallamey just
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  Speaker 1: because he's very, very cool. But his character at one
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  Speaker 1: point he's playing he's a table tennis hustler, which does
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  Speaker 1: not give anything away. Welle guy says, how about you
• 2:54
  Speaker 1: put your money where your mouth is? He said, how
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  Speaker 1: about I put my penis where your mouth is? I
• 2:58
  Speaker 1: got wow spoiler. My kids laughed really hard at that one.
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: But anyway, you know, I had forgotten this crap about
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  Speaker 1: the oscars, or I would have paid even less attention.
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  Speaker 1: I didn't watch one second, and I would have paid
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  Speaker 1: less attention than that.
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  Speaker 3: Is it possible to pay anti attention to something?
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  Speaker 1: Right? If I had remembered their new qualifications for movies
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  Speaker 1: being considered for Best Picture, all right, I forgot all
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  Speaker 1: about that lead or significant sporting actors from unrepresentative racial
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  Speaker 1: or ethnic groups that you need to have a certain
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  Speaker 1: number and all these different things to be to qualify
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  Speaker 1: for a Best Picture nominee. That's why my joke was
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  Speaker 1: as a really good movie, but I didn't see any amputees.
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  Speaker 1: You've gotta meet various qualifications. This may include African American,
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  Speaker 1: East Asian, Hispanic, or Latina EO or X. It has
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  Speaker 1: here the Academy, I want you to say Latin E
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  Speaker 1: Latino or LATINX okay or all three or okay, Indigenous people,
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  Speaker 1: Middle Eastern Pacific Island or South Asian Southeast and at
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  Speaker 1: least all these different things you have to have it
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  Speaker 1: jen of.
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  Speaker 3: That I'm making a movie about fishermen in Norway.
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  Speaker 1: And I gotta have a LACHINEO X in. This a
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  Speaker 1: Viking film. This is Vikings, This is Norwegian's taken on me.
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  Speaker 3: Okay, this is the vikings invading Britain in the year
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  Speaker 3: thirteen hundred.
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  Speaker 1: At least thirty percent of all actors for an OSCAR
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  Speaker 1: nominated film must be from two under representative groups, which
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  Speaker 1: may include women, racial or ethnic group LGBTQ plus, or
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  Speaker 1: people with cognitive or physical disabilities, or who are deaf
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  Speaker 1: or hard of hearing. This is so messed up for art.
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  Speaker 1: You're gonna make a film and I don't know, I
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  Speaker 1: don't know. I walked around and I didn't see anybody
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  Speaker 1: who seemed to be blind or hard of hearing. So sorry.
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  Speaker 1: The characters are the actors, the last actors. Yeah, so
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  Speaker 1: characters the actors. This is hilarious, hilarious.
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  Speaker 3: It's a great illustration of how good Heart's paradox works.
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  Speaker 1: Is that good Heart's law. Yeah, once a one law,
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  Speaker 1: once a.
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  Speaker 3: Measure becomes a standard.
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  Speaker 1: Once a measure becomes a goal, it ceases to be
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  Speaker 1: a good measure.
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  Speaker 3: Yes, right, exactly. So you know I would say, yeah,
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  Speaker 3: I played in bands for years and I kind of
• 5:32
  Speaker 3: got some hearing loss from the guitar amps. They'd be like,
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  Speaker 3: thank God, sign this statement to that effect. All right,
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  Speaker 3: you're hired.
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  Speaker 1: You just go around to anybody you could reasonably.
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  Speaker 3: Claim, yeah, my granddad I think was a Sioux Indian,
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  Speaker 3: or maybe it was.
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  Speaker 1: My great grand good enough sign here. Or you hire
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  Speaker 1: somebody on for your movie and you say, hey, could
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  Speaker 1: you do me a favorite? Limp around all the time?
• 5:55
  Speaker 1: What I just need you to limp around all the time.
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  Speaker 1: It's a long story. If you could just limp around, or.
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  Speaker 3: If I give you this signal, uh, you gotta start limping,
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  Speaker 3: because that means the inspectors on this set all right, boss,
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  Speaker 3: whatever it takes.
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: Oh my god. And then this one, which is even
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  Speaker 1: crazier than that, your main storyline subject matter. So now
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  Speaker 1: you're telling the artists of the world you're only allowed
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: to paint bowls of fruit or or a madonna with child,
• 6:23
  Speaker 1: these aline things you're allowed to paint, which actually kind
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  Speaker 1: of was the rules ye back in.
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  Speaker 3: The old ancient pope happy to do that for you.
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  Speaker 1: The main storyline or subject matter the main storylines U
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  Speaker 1: has to be centered on an at least a part
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  Speaker 1: of the theme or narrative of the film has to
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  Speaker 1: be centered on an unrepresentative group women, racial ethnic group,
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  Speaker 1: LGBTQ plus, or people with cognitive or physical disabilities, or
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  Speaker 1: dark or hard of hearing, hard of hearing. Yes, and
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: so like I'm trying to think back of movies. And
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  Speaker 1: then and then another interesting thing, and this is.
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  Speaker 3: So you got to have somebody go into a deli
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  Speaker 3: or whatever. I'll have the U ham and Swiss. I'm sorry,
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  Speaker 3: said that again. I got a little hearing loss, hamond
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  Speaker 3: Swiss and you've satisfied the standard.
• 7:04
  Speaker 1: Oh great drink, Yeah, no kidding.
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  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 7:08
  Speaker 1: One of the themes in Marty Supreme was him being Jewish.
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  Speaker 1: I wonder if they had to work that into the
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  Speaker 1: script because it didn't the Hollywood accept horrible Zionist as
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  Speaker 1: a special case. It wasn't important to the Oh you
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  Speaker 1: know what, one of the actors who was really really
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  Speaker 1: good was crazy overweight. I'll bet he counted, oh yeah,
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: because he was like really really big, good actor. But
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: you know, it's the whole DEI thing. You know, he'll
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  Speaker 1: wonder for the rest of his life. Did I get
• 7:40
  Speaker 1: hired because I'm a good actor? Did you need a
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  Speaker 1: profoundly obese person to qualify for Best Picture? They needed
• 7:45
  Speaker 1: to satisfy the body positivity movement. Mm hmm. Here's some problem.
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  Speaker 1: Critics have argued the criteria is too easily met No kidding, Oppenheimer,
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  Speaker 1: despite its predominantly white cast, qualified for picture through its
• 8:01
  Speaker 1: through its studios backing music. So there was somebody that
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  Speaker 1: played on some of the music for the movie Oppenheimer
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  Speaker 1: that I don't know was in a wheelchair or something.
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  Speaker 1: So that's gay, wor's gay or whatever? Right? How crazy
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  Speaker 1: is that?
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  Speaker 3: Yeah? You hear that background music in that scene. Yeah,
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  Speaker 3: a third chair violinist is gay. I think he looks
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  Speaker 3: gay anyway, sign.
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  Speaker 1: Here I saw. I'm looking at a dude once. I
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  Speaker 1: don't know, you ask gay enough?
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  Speaker 3: Right? Oh? These people are so there's such a parody
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  Speaker 3: of them.
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  Speaker 1: They really really are, and they have no idea of it. Again,
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  Speaker 1: I paid no attention to it. I would have paid
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  Speaker 1: less attention if I had remembered these stupid, stupid list
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  Speaker 1: I mean, god dang it. They go on and on
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  Speaker 1: about the importance of film and our art. And as
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  Speaker 1: an artist, I okay, you're you're an artist who has
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  Speaker 1: put down ridiculously quote ridiculous quotas for qualifying for art.
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  Speaker 1: That's not the way art works.
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  Speaker 3: Hey, you got dark hairy, You will want to claim
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  Speaker 3: your ancestors or inuits. Will it get me the job. Yes, well,
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  Speaker 3: then yes I will.
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  Speaker 1: How or where are the whales this season? I know
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  Speaker 1: whatever you need.
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  Speaker 4: I mean in Hollywood where people will will perform sexual
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  Speaker 4: acts on loathsome old fat guys will they falsely claim
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  Speaker 4: to be descended from Inuits.
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  Speaker 1: G What do you think, good lord?
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  Speaker 3: Or put up with being raped? Harvey Weinstein? You don't
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  Speaker 3: think they'll falsely claim me. I got some hearing loss
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  Speaker 3: on the right side. Oh my god, you people are hilarious.
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  Speaker 1: For instance, for putting your movie together, at least two
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  Speaker 1: of the key creative roles, such as casting, director, cinematographer, composer, director, editor,
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  Speaker 1: producer or writer must be from an unrepresentative group underrepresentative group.
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  Speaker 1: So if you go the list of you know, the
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  Speaker 1: people in the credits, you gotta there better be a
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  Speaker 1: black woman in her somewhere, or a Hispanic dude or something,
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  Speaker 1: or this picture doesn't count.
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  Speaker 3: I read a piece by a white writer in Variety
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  Speaker 3: who's like, yeah, all of a sudden, we can't get hired,
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  Speaker 3: and now I know why. That's that's brutal.
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  Speaker 1: And then this one, the film's distribution or financing company,
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  Speaker 1: oh boy, must offer paid apprenticeships or internships. For underrepresentative
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  Speaker 1: groups across departments like production, product, music, blah blah blah.
• 10:34
  Speaker 1: Oh okay, oh my god, you got again.
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  Speaker 3: This is this is anti caring. Now I have achieved
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  Speaker 3: the theoretical physicists have speculated that this can occur. I
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  Speaker 3: now have anti interest in the oscars.
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  Speaker 1: Well, this is gonna ripple out for me because now
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  Speaker 1: anytime I see anything that comes out of Hollywood and
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  Speaker 1: I see you know exactly this character or that character
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  Speaker 1: and be like, h take a shot. Yeah.
• 11:01
  Speaker 3: That's the insidious part of affirmative action is the great
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  Speaker 3: philosopher Thomas Solo has pointed out many times the sidekicker,
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  Speaker 3: the guy down the block who turns out to be
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  Speaker 3: the main character's friend, is a black guy. You're thinking, oh,
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  Speaker 3: they had to put a black guy in there as
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  Speaker 3: opposed to No, he's a really gifted actor, and you know,
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  Speaker 3: as a neighborhood where you might find black people. No,
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  Speaker 3: because it makes everybody under suspicion.
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  Speaker 1: Should piss off all the quote underrepresented groups.
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  Speaker 3: Oh yeah, so.
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  Speaker 1: You know you're a check mark, right, And that last
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  Speaker 1: one I'm sure is easy. So Warner Brothers makes up
• 11:38
  Speaker 1: a fake internship. They hire some twenty year old who's
• 11:43
  Speaker 1: one eighth jerokey. He says, show up every Monday at six.
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  Speaker 1: What am I supposed to do? I don't care.
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  Speaker 3: Go sit over there, do something, do nothing. I don't care.
• 11:56
  Speaker 1: Yeah, oh my god, that's our art. That is hilarious.
• 12:07
  Speaker 1: It's hilarious on a couple ends. The obvious, which we've
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  Speaker 1: said a bunch of times, is just putting rules on art,
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  Speaker 1: is what. But then to feel like you're accomplishing something.
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  Speaker 3: Oh, to be so self congratulatory and self righteous.
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  Speaker 1: That you think you've moved forward the lives of underrepresentative
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  Speaker 1: people because of matching this so you can get nominated
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  Speaker 1: for a Best Picture. Yeah whatever.
• 12:36
  Speaker 3: And to be so harshly judgmental of anybody who doesn't
• 12:39
  Speaker 3: think you're doing the most valuable work on earth. Yeah,
• 12:43
  Speaker 3: oh those people are.
• 12:44
  Speaker 1: And then they go up there and give a speech
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  Speaker 1: about how awful we are. Hilarious.
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  Speaker 2: Can you imagine telling Sean Penny has a limp around
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  Speaker 2: in the last scene or something, Well, I guess that's it.