Latest / Silver FM 100.6 / When your best friend tells you to stop texting her

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When your best friend tells you to stop texting her · Silver FM 100.6

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: The last time Antonio May's senior heard from his son,
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: it was in a note the sixteen year old left
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: in the family's garage.
• 0:07
  Speaker 2: He told me he was gonna make me proud.
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: Antonio Junior left home to join a protest in Seattle.
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: A week later, he was shot and killed.
• 0:16
  Speaker 3: There.
• 0:16
  Speaker 4: I mean some arethmaid justice from my son.
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: Listen to We Keep Us Safe on the embedded podcast
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: from NPR.
• 0:27
  Speaker 5: I was telling Megan all about this. I was dog
• 0:28
  Speaker 5: sitting for three days. Really, I feel like I don't
• 0:33
  Speaker 5: have the what's the word, the.
• 0:37
  Speaker 6: Stamina, the like constitution.
• 0:40
  Speaker 5: I was starting to be like, can I have a baby?
• 0:43
  Speaker 5: Like if I can't even do this for three days?
• 0:45
  Speaker 3: And you know what they say, like it's one of
• 0:46
  Speaker 3: those things like when it's your dog, it's different, Like
• 0:48
  Speaker 3: when it's your baby, it's different. Yeah, it was never
• 0:51
  Speaker 3: a kid person. I just remember being like, they're just
• 0:53
  Speaker 3: sticky all the time. Where are they always sticky? And
• 0:56
  Speaker 3: now my kid is always sticky, And I'm like, yeah,
• 0:58
  Speaker 3: fine with it.
• 0:59
  Speaker 7: You get condition to being a gross cess pit and
• 1:03
  Speaker 7: like always having like a jam and.
• 1:05
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• 1:14
  Speaker 5: Hello and welcome to another edition of Dear Life Kit,
• 1:18
  Speaker 5: the series where you send us your questions and we
• 1:20
  Speaker 5: try to dole out some helpful advice with help from
• 1:23
  Speaker 5: the collective wisdom in our archives. I am Mariel Sagata
• 1:27
  Speaker 5: and as always for Dear Life Kit, reporter Andy Tagle
• 1:30
  Speaker 5: is here.
• 1:30
  Speaker 2: Hey, Andy, Hi.
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  Speaker 5: And we've also got our digital editor, Malica Greeb here.
• 1:35
  Speaker 2: What's up?
• 1:35
  Speaker 6: Hello? Hello?
• 1:37
  Speaker 5: Hey? I like your Dodgers Jersey.
• 1:39
  Speaker 6: Me too. It's the Filipino edition.
• 1:42
  Speaker 3: Ohvy cool, a lot of envy.
• 1:45
  Speaker 5: If you have a question for us, please get in touch,
• 1:47
  Speaker 5: write us or record yourself asking your question and email
• 1:51
  Speaker 5: the file to Life Kit at NPR dot org. Okay, Andy,
• 1:55
  Speaker 5: let's get started. What's our first question?
• 1:56
  Speaker 3: All right, let's do it. So, Lizeth writes, my best
• 2:00
  Speaker 3: friend is expecting her first child and we live in
• 2:03
  Speaker 3: different countries. I want to be supportive, but my friend
• 2:05
  Speaker 3: was clear and setting a boundary no text or communication
• 2:09
  Speaker 3: until she appears with news when she has time and energy.
• 2:11
  Speaker 8: To do it.
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  Speaker 3: I just want to be a good friend, but I
• 2:14
  Speaker 3: miss her. How can I be supportive or respect your
• 2:17
  Speaker 3: boundaries but still be there even in the distance. I'm
• 2:21
  Speaker 3: a childless person and I don't plan to have kids,
• 2:23
  Speaker 3: but being an anti with my friend's child would be a dream.
• 2:27
  Speaker 2: Wow, that sounds painful.
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  Speaker 7: Can I just say this sounds like a red flag
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  Speaker 7: for me for the friend, Like is she okay? Is
• 2:34
  Speaker 7: the friend okay? Like this is a long distance friendship already,
• 2:37
  Speaker 7: Like long distance friendship is what sharing memes with each other,
• 2:41
  Speaker 7: sending those Instagram videos to each other, like how do you.
• 2:45
  Speaker 6: Feel right now? Are you okay? Do you need anything?
• 2:47
  Speaker 7: And like not wanting any of that communication is kind
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  Speaker 7: of wild for a best friend dynamic or.
• 2:53
  Speaker 3: Like does this friend just not know what's going to happen?
• 2:56
  Speaker 3: Like I'm thinking, like first baby on the way, there's
• 2:58
  Speaker 3: a very high possibilit if this is really what they
• 3:01
  Speaker 3: think they need. There's a very high possibility if this
• 3:03
  Speaker 3: person is really your best friend, that that's gonna change.
• 3:06
  Speaker 2: So like if it were me, if this was my best.
• 3:07
  Speaker 3: Friend telling me this, I'd be like, Okay, I'm gonna
• 3:10
  Speaker 3: do my best to respect what you think that you need,
• 3:13
  Speaker 3: but I'm gonna send you a giant care package. And
• 3:15
  Speaker 3: in that giant care package, there's gonna be like a
• 3:17
  Speaker 3: menu of options that many options. It's gonna be like
• 3:20
  Speaker 3: like a plane ticket. That's gonna be like ready to go,
• 3:22
  Speaker 3: a diaper delivery, it's gonna be a you know, like a.
• 3:24
  Speaker 2: Food train whatever.
• 3:26
  Speaker 3: And you know the other thing I might do is
• 3:27
  Speaker 3: I'm gonna like call that panel of experts that knows her.
• 3:29
  Speaker 3: You know, I'm gonna call your partner. I'm gonna call
• 3:31
  Speaker 3: your mom.
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  Speaker 2: I'm gonna be like issue, okay, you know, like, yeah, absolutely, this.
• 3:35
  Speaker 3: Is a strange request with a baby on a.
• 3:37
  Speaker 5: Way, and although you can send something like a care
• 3:41
  Speaker 5: package like you said, Andy and just be clear that
• 3:45
  Speaker 5: they don't need to respond totally. Yeah, I will say though,
• 3:48
  Speaker 5: like the desire to be a supportive adult in a
• 3:52
  Speaker 5: kid's life, I mean it makes a lot of sense.
• 3:54
  Speaker 5: And you mentioned that you don't have children and you
• 3:56
  Speaker 5: don't plan to. We actually did an episode on being
• 3:59
  Speaker 5: child free, and one of the points that people made
• 4:02
  Speaker 5: was just because your child free doesn't mean you don't
• 4:04
  Speaker 5: like kids, and in fact, like kids are often a
• 4:07
  Speaker 5: part of your community and you want to play a
• 4:09
  Speaker 5: role in their lives, just not as their guardian. So
• 4:12
  Speaker 5: that impulse makes a lot of sense. But this might
• 4:15
  Speaker 5: not be the right child and the right family to
• 4:18
  Speaker 5: do that with right now. And there are people that
• 4:21
  Speaker 5: you'll meet who you haven't even met yet, who you
• 4:23
  Speaker 5: could become an aunty too. So just look out for
• 4:26
  Speaker 5: those opportunities too, and like, share your love where it's appreciated.
• 4:31
  Speaker 6: Don't put all your eggs in this basket.
• 4:33
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's true.
• 4:34
  Speaker 5: Never put all your eggs in one friendship basket.
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• 5:04
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• 5:53
  Speaker 5: All right, Next question, Next question?
• 5:56
  Speaker 2: All right.
• 5:57
  Speaker 3: Brian writes, I am a single father of two kids,
• 6:00
  Speaker 3: A girl thirteen and a boy eleven. Both play in
• 6:03
  Speaker 3: a variety of sports. We spend countless hours days and
• 6:07
  Speaker 3: weekends at competitions, tournaments, practices, games, and other gatherings. Personally,
• 6:13
  Speaker 3: I think they should be spending more time improving themselves
• 6:15
  Speaker 3: in their sports independently, but their mother things being enrolled
• 6:18
  Speaker 3: in an activity is important to their improvement and to
• 6:20
  Speaker 3: limit screen time. She often dismisses my concerns with It's
• 6:24
  Speaker 3: just a busy time in our life. It's exhausting spending
• 6:27
  Speaker 3: three to five hours a day supporting these activities on
• 6:29
  Speaker 3: top of everything else I have to do. The financial
• 6:32
  Speaker 3: side is also ridiculous. I don't know how families do this,
• 6:36
  Speaker 3: especially single parents. How can I navigate this with my children?
• 6:40
  Speaker 3: I want to be supportive, however, at what cost to
• 6:42
  Speaker 3: my mental, physical, and emotional well being.
• 6:45
  Speaker 5: I hear this a lot.
• 6:46
  Speaker 7: That's a big no for me. I just feel like, yeah,
• 6:50
  Speaker 7: I'm not doing that. But I'm also like not like
• 6:52
  Speaker 7: the most. I'm just thinking about myself. I'm not also
• 6:55
  Speaker 7: like the most like motivated to do a lot of
• 6:57
  Speaker 7: extracurricular So I'm curious to hear about what you all
• 6:59
  Speaker 7: will say.
• 7:00
  Speaker 5: A minute, Molica, you do all sorts of extra curriculum.
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  Speaker 6: I believe I don't.
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  Speaker 7: I don't do like organize extracurriculars.
• 7:09
  Speaker 5: Organized ones.
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  Speaker 3: Okay, Like I'm not going to like be in Okay,
• 7:13
  Speaker 3: are you just saying sports? Like you're just not big
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  Speaker 3: on sports.
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  Speaker 7: I just think that it's so tiring for the parent
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  Speaker 7: and for the kid. But I don't like just hear
• 7:20
  Speaker 7: what y'all have to say for you know what.
• 7:23
  Speaker 5: Well, just just to that point, Malica, I feel like
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  Speaker 5: what you're getting at is that you do a lot
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  Speaker 5: of unstructured play. Like you'll be like, what do I
• 7:32
  Speaker 5: feel like doing? You let yourself get bored for me
• 7:34
  Speaker 5: be a micro second, and then you're like, I'm gonna
• 7:37
  Speaker 5: build a fountain in my backyard. But like all these
• 7:40
  Speaker 5: ideas are coming from you. Nobody told you to do
• 7:42
  Speaker 5: them right, and they come when you got a little bored,
• 7:46
  Speaker 5: which that is definitely an asset for kids.
• 7:49
  Speaker 3: I think what I was gonna tell Brian is that
• 7:52
  Speaker 3: I am like, I'm just I'm tired. For him, it
• 7:54
  Speaker 3: sounds definitely like both Brian and his kids are pretty overscheduled.
• 7:59
  Speaker 3: So the first thing I'm wondering is how do your
• 8:01
  Speaker 3: kids feel about that. I feel like, you know, ages
• 8:04
  Speaker 3: eleven and thirteen, that feels old enough to have at
• 8:07
  Speaker 3: least some say in these scheduling decisions.
• 8:09
  Speaker 5: That's often our first takeaway at life, kid is consider
• 8:13
  Speaker 5: why you're doing this? Do you actually enjoy that?
• 8:16
  Speaker 7: Are they like, actually talented in sports? If they're not talented,
• 8:20
  Speaker 7: take them out just kidding.
• 8:22
  Speaker 5: Hot take. I don't know about all that.
• 8:28
  Speaker 6: Wait.
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  Speaker 7: But then on a serious note, though, they're like, yeah,
• 8:31
  Speaker 7: a lot of the One refrain that I hear from
• 8:34
  Speaker 7: parent friends here in my community in Nashville is that like,
• 8:37
  Speaker 7: organized sports for children is so intense. You know, everyone
• 8:42
  Speaker 7: thinks that they're raising like a little NFL player, you know,
• 8:45
  Speaker 7: and that's not going.
• 8:46
  Speaker 6: To be the story of everybody. There's got to be
• 8:48
  Speaker 6: some kind of.
• 8:49
  Speaker 7: Like lower key, middle ground level of organized sports activity.
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  Speaker 6: That is just a little chiller than others.
• 8:59
  Speaker 3: But I don't think it's necessarily about them having to
• 9:00
  Speaker 3: be good at it, Like do they enjoy it? Do
• 9:02
  Speaker 3: they enjoy being all of these sports? Then from there, first,
• 9:07
  Speaker 3: your time is as valuable as theirs, like period, full stop.
• 9:11
  Speaker 11: Love that.
• 9:11
  Speaker 3: If you're going to keep the schedule, at the very least,
• 9:13
  Speaker 3: you have to carve out some dedicated parent PTO.
• 9:16
  Speaker 2: This is something we talk about a lot.
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  Speaker 3: Every parent deserves to protect a few hours a day
• 9:21
  Speaker 3: of the week, a weekend, every month, whatever feels actually achievable.
• 9:24
  Speaker 2: And maintainable just for you.
• 9:26
  Speaker 3: But I also think it's totally fair to go to
• 9:28
  Speaker 3: your kids, to go to their mom and say, you know,
• 9:30
  Speaker 3: let's just pick one sport if we're going to if
• 9:32
  Speaker 3: you need a sport, if you need that organized activity,
• 9:34
  Speaker 3: one sport per kid, per season. Like I'm a parent,
• 9:37
  Speaker 3: but I'm also a person. I want you to be involved,
• 9:40
  Speaker 3: but I shouldn't have to spend every free waking moment
• 9:42
  Speaker 3: acting like a shuttle service or an equipment manager.
• 9:45
  Speaker 5: I think that also teaches kids how to make priorities
• 9:49
  Speaker 5: right because as adults, they're going to have limited income
• 9:53
  Speaker 5: like most people, and they're going to have limited time time,
• 9:57
  Speaker 5: and so they need to start learning how to budget
• 10:00
  Speaker 5: those things. And so you can say to them, like,
• 10:02
  Speaker 5: what are you most excited about?
• 10:04
  Speaker 3: I mean, along those The last thing I was going
• 10:06
  Speaker 3: to say is because is like the mom was talking about,
• 10:08
  Speaker 3: like they need to be scheduled, because they need to
• 10:10
  Speaker 3: be away.
• 10:10
  Speaker 2: From their tech, and so along along those lines.
• 10:13
  Speaker 3: My last suggestion was about an episode we did for
• 10:17
  Speaker 3: how to be Better screen Time role Models for Kids.
• 10:21
  Speaker 3: I interviewed this researcher, Gene Twangie. She has these ten
• 10:24
  Speaker 3: rules for raising kids in a high tech world, and
• 10:25
  Speaker 3: one of them was, in the absence of devices, give
• 10:29
  Speaker 3: your kids real world freedom to help them be more independent.
• 10:32
  Speaker 3: So for example, letting them go to the grocery store,
• 10:35
  Speaker 3: like letting them Mike to the grocery store if it's
• 10:37
  Speaker 3: close enough, having them get the groceries, having them bring
• 10:39
  Speaker 3: them home, having them cook dinner with those free afternoons. Yeah,
• 10:43
  Speaker 3: and then two for one, Dad, you don't have to
• 10:45
  Speaker 3: cook dinner.
• 10:46
  Speaker 5: Cooking skills are much more important for the average adult
• 10:49
  Speaker 5: than soccer skills.
• 10:51
  Speaker 9: Dang.
• 10:52
  Speaker 6: She said it during the World Cup season. No less,
• 10:55
  Speaker 6: I know.
• 10:58
  Speaker 5: Cup just getting the change Andy, I want to take
• 11:02
  Speaker 5: us to her next question.
• 11:03
  Speaker 3: Yes, I will, Okay, our next question, do you like it?
• 11:10
  Speaker 3: After a pleasant four way conversation with my wife, my
• 11:13
  Speaker 3: pregnant daughter, and my son in law, we all say
• 11:16
  Speaker 3: love you by or something to that effect. Recently, my
• 11:19
  Speaker 3: son in law started embellishing the phrase by saying love
• 11:22
  Speaker 3: you bye.
• 11:23
  Speaker 2: Send money.
• 11:24
  Speaker 3: But I don't know if he's serious or I don't
• 11:27
  Speaker 3: know if he's serious or joking. We've given them money
• 11:29
  Speaker 3: in the past, but we've never been specifically asked for it.
• 11:33
  Speaker 5: How do I respond, Wow, he's bold, he's bold.
• 11:37
  Speaker 2: Yes, Malka please.
• 11:38
  Speaker 6: Yeah, Okay. So there's two things here.
• 11:40
  Speaker 7: One is like, I love that he's in a relationship
• 11:43
  Speaker 7: with his father in law where he can tell him.
• 11:45
  Speaker 6: He loves him. Let's give him his flowers for that, Okay.
• 11:49
  Speaker 7: I think that there's no way around this other than
• 11:50
  Speaker 7: to just pull him aside, address the elephant in the room,
• 11:53
  Speaker 7: and say in a kind way.
• 11:55
  Speaker 6: Like, I notice you've been joking about needing money, are you?
• 11:58
  Speaker 6: Are you guys? Okay? Are you in a tough financial spot?
• 12:01
  Speaker 7: And I think just like addressing it right there hopefully
• 12:04
  Speaker 7: tells a sun in law like Okay, yeah, that might
• 12:06
  Speaker 7: have been an awkward joke to make and will shut
• 12:09
  Speaker 7: the joke down. But then it also shows the son
• 12:12
  Speaker 7: in law that, yeah, the father in law, here's what
• 12:15
  Speaker 7: he's putting down and he's addressing the issue, right.
• 12:19
  Speaker 5: I think conversation is often the answer when it comes
• 12:21
  Speaker 5: to money awkwardness. So many things get weird because people
• 12:25
  Speaker 5: don't want to talk about money.
• 12:27
  Speaker 6: It's awkward talking about money, though. I hate talking about money.
• 12:29
  Speaker 7: Yeah, you love talking about money, Mary Elle, you love
• 12:31
  Speaker 7: talking about money.
• 12:34
  Speaker 5: I kind of do. I don't know. I think like
• 12:37
  Speaker 5: we actually just did an episode on financial guilt and
• 12:41
  Speaker 5: one piece of advice that Lauren Williams, the financial Planner,
• 12:44
  Speaker 5: gave us is, if you are going to give money
• 12:47
  Speaker 5: to someone in your family or your friend, first think
• 12:52
  Speaker 5: about how much you want to give and can afford
• 12:55
  Speaker 5: to give before you have a conversation with them, or
• 12:58
  Speaker 5: ideally before they even add ask you, because that can
• 13:03
  Speaker 5: help you make decisions from a place of tapping into
• 13:07
  Speaker 5: your values and from a clear headed place, versus making
• 13:10
  Speaker 5: decisions from a place of guilt and pressure. Yeah, like,
• 13:14
  Speaker 5: would we want them to pay us back? What would
• 13:17
  Speaker 5: we be willing to give them? Money for all of
• 13:19
  Speaker 5: those things, so like you're on the same page when
• 13:21
  Speaker 5: you go to them and you have your clear boundaries
• 13:24
  Speaker 5: set up. I think it all starts with a conversation.
• 13:31
  Speaker 1: This is our glass of this American Life.
• 13:33
  Speaker 11: Do you know our show? Okay? Well, either way, I'm
• 13:36
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• 13:37
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• 13:55
  Speaker 5: Andy? Last question, Okay, let's do it.
• 13:58
  Speaker 3: Dear life kit. My husband and I have dear friends
• 14:01
  Speaker 3: that we've known for about a decade. We love them both.
• 14:04
  Speaker 3: They're kind and generous, but every time we're with them,
• 14:07
  Speaker 3: she's mean to her husband. She gets super irritable and critical,
• 14:11
  Speaker 3: and he's clearly stepping on eggshells and super deferential. Do
• 14:15
  Speaker 3: I risk our friendship by pulling her aside and confronting her?
• 14:19
  Speaker 3: I know marriages are private and challenging, but it's so
• 14:22
  Speaker 3: uncomfortable and sad to witness her cut him down.
• 14:25
  Speaker 6: Yeah, yikes.
• 14:26
  Speaker 5: I mean, obviously we don't know what's happening behind the scenes.
• 14:30
  Speaker 5: I mean there are two options here, right, You could
• 14:31
  Speaker 5: talk to her, you could talk to him either way.
• 14:35
  Speaker 5: One way to start is by telling them how much
• 14:38
  Speaker 5: you value them and the friendship. That's advice we've gotten
• 14:41
  Speaker 5: from the psychologist Marissa Franco in an episode about conflict
• 14:44
  Speaker 5: in friendship, because that signals the reason you're bringing the
• 14:49
  Speaker 5: issue up is because you're invested in them and because
• 14:52
  Speaker 5: you care about them. So you could go to the
• 14:55
  Speaker 5: wife and say, hey, I really value our friendship and
• 15:00
  Speaker 5: there's something I want to talk about, Like I've noticed
• 15:03
  Speaker 5: a few times recently that you put Tim down when
• 15:07
  Speaker 5: we're all hanging out. Can we talk about that? Like
• 15:10
  Speaker 5: what is going on for you guys?
• 15:12
  Speaker 6: Yeah?
• 15:12
  Speaker 5: And the other version is going to the husband saying
• 15:14
  Speaker 5: something similar like I noticed Tammy puts you down a
• 15:18
  Speaker 5: lot in front of us. Are you okay? Do you
• 15:21
  Speaker 5: want to talk? Even if they don't want to talk,
• 15:24
  Speaker 5: you can tell them that it makes you uncomfortable and
• 15:27
  Speaker 5: make the request that they don't do it in front
• 15:29
  Speaker 5: of you.
• 15:30
  Speaker 7: I think that's all really good advice. Maryelle plus one
• 15:33
  Speaker 7: no changes, no comment.
• 15:35
  Speaker 5: Andy has comment.
• 15:37
  Speaker 6: I don't.
• 15:37
  Speaker 3: I don't have to comment. I just I you know,
• 15:41
  Speaker 3: I think other people's marriages are such tricky territory.
• 15:47
  Speaker 2: Yeah, this is true, your very best friend in the world.
• 15:50
  Speaker 3: Maybe, yeah, maybe you can say something very gently one time,
• 15:55
  Speaker 3: and I think you should still prepare for it to backfire,
• 15:57
  Speaker 3: you know, because if you're wrong, because if you caught
• 16:00
  Speaker 3: them at the wrong time, you know, because if you're
• 16:03
  Speaker 3: just seeing that sliver, you know, like like you said, Maryel,
• 16:06
  Speaker 3: like you have no idea what's happening the rest of
• 16:09
  Speaker 3: their life.
• 16:10
  Speaker 7: Actually, Anda, you have this this dear Life kit once
• 16:12
  Speaker 7: and I don't remember the exact context, so maybe you
• 16:15
  Speaker 7: can try to remember. Maybe this will jog your memory.
• 16:18
  Speaker 7: But it was something about how like just support your friend.
• 16:22
  Speaker 7: You know, you don't have to like try to fix
• 16:24
  Speaker 7: what's going on between the friend and the spouse.
• 16:27
  Speaker 6: Just ask the friend, like how you doing, are you okay?
• 16:30
  Speaker 6: How you've been like like, well you take you out.
• 16:32
  Speaker 2: That's what it was.
• 16:33
  Speaker 7: It was like mind your business, yeah, but also like
• 16:35
  Speaker 7: support the friend who's hurting.
• 16:37
  Speaker 3: It's like you can be right, but your friend's never
• 16:39
  Speaker 3: gonna thank you. For me, you know, like what good,
• 16:41
  Speaker 3: what good will come from that, like of you pointing
• 16:44
  Speaker 3: that out right, like they need to they need to.
• 16:46
  Speaker 3: It needs to come up from them. It needs to
• 16:48
  Speaker 3: come it needs to come from their own heart basically,
• 16:51
  Speaker 3: and all you can do is be ready to help them,
• 16:54
  Speaker 3: help them through it. But saying they're awful doesn't help
• 16:58
  Speaker 3: in the situation if they're still in the relation, you know.
• 17:01
  Speaker 7: If they're like energy vampires too, and like you're not
• 17:03
  Speaker 7: feeling refreshed hanging out with them, then also you're totally
• 17:07
  Speaker 7: okay for you to put a little distance between yourselves,
• 17:10
  Speaker 7: you know.
• 17:11
  Speaker 2: Pull back right.
• 17:13
  Speaker 5: Okay, Before we go, Molica, let's share a comment that
• 17:17
  Speaker 5: we got in response to our last episode of Dear
• 17:20
  Speaker 5: Life Kid, and this comes from a listener on Spotify.
• 17:23
  Speaker 7: Yes, this was someone who was reacting to the question
• 17:26
  Speaker 7: in our last episode where someone was dealing with extra
• 17:29
  Speaker 7: responsibilities at work. Basically they were picking up a lot
• 17:33
  Speaker 7: of slack because a colleague was out.
• 17:35
  Speaker 6: One of our Spotify listeners had.
• 17:36
  Speaker 7: This suggestion, say to your boss, here are the things
• 17:40
  Speaker 7: I am working on. Which of these things should I
• 17:43
  Speaker 7: hold off on so I can take on this other responsibility?
• 17:46
  Speaker 6: If the answer is do it all.
• 17:48
  Speaker 7: Then the conversation should become about additional pay or title.
• 17:52
  Speaker 6: Dang.
• 17:52
  Speaker 5: I love that it's one of those like expert levels.
• 17:56
  Speaker 5: Yeah yes, If this then that you know for.
• 17:58
  Speaker 2: The toolbox, yeah?
• 18:00
  Speaker 5: Lad?
• 18:01
  Speaker 2: Adding it.
• 18:03
  Speaker 11: All right?
• 18:03
  Speaker 5: Once again, if you have a question for Life Kit,
• 18:06
  Speaker 5: send it to us. We want to hear your questions
• 18:08
  Speaker 5: about money, about healthcare, about staying organized, about messy breakups
• 18:13
  Speaker 5: or annoying friends, whatever you got. Email us your question
• 18:16
  Speaker 5: or record yourself asking it and send the file to
• 18:19
  Speaker 5: Life Kit at NPR dot org. I'm Mariel Segara. Thanks
• 18:23
  Speaker 5: for listening.
• 18:34
  Speaker 4: Every episode. If it's been a Minute, MPRS What's Happening
• 18:37
  Speaker 4: in Culture podcast starts by asking three questions, who, how, why?
• 18:41
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• 18:42
  Speaker 4: If the culture's asking it, we're talking about it. At NPR,
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• 18:51
  Speaker 4: get your podcasts, and we'll break down the zeitgeisty topics
• 18:54
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• 18:57
  Speaker 11: This week on Newsmakers, I'm a surprised you had me
• 19:00
  Speaker 11: on comed again. Bill Maher on his Mark Twain Award
• 19:04
  Speaker 11: and the Lost Art of political debate. Just engage with
• 19:07
  Speaker 11: the argument, tell me if I'm wrong about something, and
• 19:10
  Speaker 11: then we're going to be cool. But that's not what
• 19:12
  Speaker 11: either extreme does in this country anymore. Bill maher on
• 19:16
  Speaker 11: this week's Newsmakers, Watch or listen wherever you get your podcasts.
• 19:20
  Speaker 9: The Emmy nominations are here.
• 19:22
  Speaker 3: We're unpacking record breaking nominations for Hacks, plus a big
• 19:25
  Speaker 3: day for the Pit and newcomers like Widow's Bay. We'll
• 19:27
  Speaker 3: talk about some snubs and make some early predictions of
• 19:30
  Speaker 3: who will win. Listen to Pop Culture Happy Hour via
• 19:32
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