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How can I manage stigma What role does self-compassion play? · Wellbeing Solutions - Ask A Counsellor

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: So when we're talking about self-compassion in addiction recovery, as we said um in the previous topic, self-compassion plays quite a big part.
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_00: We tend to focus on stopping the behaviour and making different choices and taking responsibility over what has happened when we're dealing with addiction.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_00: But there's another part of recovery that is just as important, and that's learning to relate to yourself with compassion.
• 0:29
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't mean making excuses for harmful behaviour or avoiding responsibility, instead, it means being able to acknowledge I'm struggling here.
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_00: And yes, there's things that need to stop, but also I am worthy of care and support.
• 0:43
  SPEAKER_00: For many people experiencing addiction, shame can become a really powerful part of the cycle.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_00: Someone might think, Oh, I've messed up again, therefore I can't do this.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_00: And those thoughts can create feelings of guilt and hopelessness, which can then make it even harder to reach out for support.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_00: So, as therapists, we create a space where those feelings can be explored without judgment.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_00: We might use empathetic listening, reflection, and gentle correct questioning to help someone understand what's happening underneath the behaviour, rather than asking only, well, why did you do that?
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_00: We're kind of about asking what is happening for you at that point, what was happening for you at that point, what were you feeling, and what do you need, and also helping the person that we are supporting become more aware of that.
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_00: Self-compassion also allows for people to recognise that a lapse or a setback doesn't have to become a complete relapse.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_00: Some of that is down to terminology, obviously, depending on what recovery model you follow, but we can help clients separate I did something I regret from I am a bad person, and that distinction is absolutely crucial because if you feel stuck in the cycle of inverted commas being bad, you're not going to think that that can change.
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_00: Whereas if you can't own something as a mistake that was led to by a lot of different factors, you can look to resolving and working on those factors, and then we can start addressing what needs to look different in regards to our behaviour and our coping mechanisms.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_00: Recovery ultimately isn't just about changing behaviour, you also need to develop a different relationship with yourself, one that's honest, accountable, and self compassionate.