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First 30 Days of Sobriety: What to Expect in Early Addiction Recovery & Healing Process | Marci Hopkins · Wake Up with Marci

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Spirituality wasn't about having all the answers, wasn't about the big,
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: scary guy that I'd learned about God in the sky.
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: It was about admitting that I didn't have to do
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  Speaker 1: this on my own, that there was something bigger than myself,
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  Speaker 1: that I didn't have to carry all of this by
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  Speaker 1: myself anymore, That maybe there was something bigger than my fear.
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  Speaker 1: Maybe there was grace, maybe there was hope, Maybe there
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  Speaker 1: was a version of me waiting on the other side
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  Speaker 1: of this. This is Wake Up with Marcy, a space
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  Speaker 1: for honest conversations about healing, recovery, and women's wellness. I'm
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  Speaker 1: Marcy Hopkins. Take a breath, You're safe here. Let's begin.
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  Speaker 1: Nobody told me that when I got sober, I was
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  Speaker 1: going to meet the version of myself I've been running from.
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  Speaker 1: I thought it was giving up alcohol. Instead, I uncovered
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  Speaker 1: the fear, the grief, the anxiety, the holiness, and I
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  Speaker 1: realized that alcohol had never been what I was truly craving.
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  Speaker 1: I was craving peace, but I didn't know how to
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  Speaker 1: live in peace because I was so used to living
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  Speaker 1: in the chaos. And addiction is chaos, and sobriety is peace.
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  Speaker 1: Sobriety didn't create my triggers, it simply revealed them. And
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  Speaker 1: that's where the real work began, the work of healing,
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  Speaker 1: the work of trusting, the work of surrendering. Because surrender
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  Speaker 1: isn't giving up, it's finally becoming willing to stop running.
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  Speaker 1: Surrendering is strength, and that's what I want to talk
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  Speaker 1: about today. I'm Marsey Hopkins and welcome to Wake Up
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: with Marcie. I'm so grateful you were here today. Thank
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  Speaker 1: you for listening or watching. I myself. I'm an author
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  Speaker 1: of two books, TV hosts, motivational speaker, health advocate, and
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  Speaker 1: I'm almost eleven years sober. I wanted to say over
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  Speaker 1: eleven years sober, but I'm almost there. And on my show,
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  Speaker 1: we have really honest conversations about healing, recovery, relationships and
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  Speaker 1: what it really takes to rebuild your life. And today's
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  Speaker 1: conversation is going to be a really deep personal story
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  Speaker 1: and one that I believe can help you. If you
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  Speaker 1: too are embarking on your journey of recovery and healing,
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: and if today's relationship resonates with you, please make sure
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  Speaker 1: to like common and share this episode with someone who
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  Speaker 1: needs to hear it. Let's create that ripple effect, because
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: sometimes the words that save us are the words someone
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  Speaker 1: else was brave enough to say first. Today, I want
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  Speaker 1: to talk about the person who wakes up every morning
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  Speaker 1: thinking I can't keep doing this, the person who's tired
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  Speaker 1: of promising they'll quit tomorrow, tired of carrying the shame,
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  Speaker 1: tired of pretending everything is okay. Because I know that person.
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  Speaker 1: I was her, and today I want to share what
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  Speaker 1: nobody told me about those first thirty days of getting sober,
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  Speaker 1: what you're going to confront and have to manage something
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  Speaker 1: you've never done before, and that is the cravings, the triggers,
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  Speaker 1: finding spirituality, and what surrendering really feels like. Because I
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  Speaker 1: think we've gotten surrender all wrong. People have asked me
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  Speaker 1: what does surrendering feel like? And I think we imagine
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  Speaker 1: this huge, dramatic moment where everything changes, But really, for me,
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  Speaker 1: it was quiet. I was in my bed, I'd woken
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  Speaker 1: up after a chaotic day of drinking, and I was
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  Speaker 1: just alone and feeling this quiet isolation and craziness in
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  Speaker 1: my head. And it was exhausted, and I was terrified,
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  Speaker 1: and I just remember waking up the morning of October fourth,
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  Speaker 1: twenty fifteen, and saying I can't do this anymore, that
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  Speaker 1: I can't keep making these promises to myself that I'm
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  Speaker 1: going to stop. And I wasn't doing it, and I
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  Speaker 1: would keep pretending that everything was okay. And I was
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  Speaker 1: basically living two lives, the one that everyone else saw
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  Speaker 1: and the one that I was secretly struggling through. And
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  Speaker 1: I truly was exhausted, and not physically, but that's soul tired.
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  Speaker 1: And for the first time, I stopped trying to figure
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  Speaker 1: out how I was going to fix it, how I
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  Speaker 1: was going to hide it. I stopped negotiating with myself.
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  Speaker 1: I stopped making these deals with myself. I stopped saying
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  Speaker 1: maybe one more time, and I simply said, God, I
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  Speaker 1: can't do this anymore. If there's any way to live,
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  Speaker 1: I need you to show me. That was my surrender.
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  Speaker 1: That's when I said to myself that I needed help.
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  Speaker 1: It wasn't giving up on my life. It was giving
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  Speaker 1: up on the belief that I could save myself by
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  Speaker 1: controlling everything. And the amazing thing is nothing around me
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  Speaker 1: changed that day, meaning I was still in the same home.
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  Speaker 1: There wasn't some huge, magical thing that happened. I mean,
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  Speaker 1: my circumstances were still there, the fear was still there,
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  Speaker 1: the uncertainty was still there, but something inside me changed,
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  Speaker 1: and for the first time in a really life long time,
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  Speaker 1: I wasn't fighting myself anymore. I wasn't fighting life anymore.
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  Speaker 1: And I was willing to ask for the help, willing
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  Speaker 1: to get honest and stop lying, willing to believe that
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  Speaker 1: maybe there was help, that I wasn't broken, that this
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  Speaker 1: rock bottom could be that foundation to rebuild. And I
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  Speaker 1: admitted that day that I needed help. And for me,
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  Speaker 1: I started in the twelve step program. And there's a
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  Speaker 1: lot of other resources out there, a lot of other
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  Speaker 1: ways for us to get sober. Because I know it's scary,
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  Speaker 1: it's a really difficult time, but I'd say, get honest
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  Speaker 1: with yourself first and then tell someone. And for me,
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  Speaker 1: I told my husband, and I was terrified because listen,
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  Speaker 1: I thought he would run away for me. I didn't
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  Speaker 1: know what he was going to do. But you know
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  Speaker 1: what happened. He ended up in breaking. He was just
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  Speaker 1: waiting for me to make the realization that I needed help,
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  Speaker 1: and he was there, willing to help me, willing to
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  Speaker 1: do whatever it could take. That he could do. And
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  Speaker 1: I'm guessing there's someone in your life that's just waiting
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  Speaker 1: for you to surrender and ask for that help. And
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  Speaker 1: then once you surrender, you find the help that's available
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  Speaker 1: and that will work for you. So there's some things
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  Speaker 1: that I want to talk about that are going to
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  Speaker 1: happen during those first thirty days of sobriety. And I
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  Speaker 1: wrote my book wake Up, You're Not Broken. It's a
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  Speaker 1: companion for your first thirty days of sobriety. And these
• 7:47
  Speaker 1: are some of the lessons out of that book and
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  Speaker 1: things I share about because we need this information. And
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  Speaker 1: these aren't things that anyone told me about. It was
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  Speaker 1: something I just learned through my journey of sobriety. So
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  Speaker 1: the first lesson that I want to talk about is cravings.
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  Speaker 1: And the thing that surprised me the most is, well,
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  Speaker 1: I was craving alcohol, but I was craving relief, relief
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  Speaker 1: from that anxiety and loneliness and really from the pressure
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  Speaker 1: that I put on myself, and alcohol just became the
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  Speaker 1: way that I escaped my feelings. And so when I
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  Speaker 1: was getting sober and those cravings presented, because listen, you
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  Speaker 1: got so much sugar through those and empty calories through
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  Speaker 1: that wine or whatever alcohol you were drinking, and now
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  Speaker 1: your body is craving that. And listen, I wanted sweets.
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  Speaker 1: So I'm just going to tell you just be graceful
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  Speaker 1: and or give yourself grace and just give into that.
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  Speaker 1: It's okay. I mean, listen, I was a really healthy eater.
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  Speaker 1: It's so funny. I would eat really healthy foods, but
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  Speaker 1: I would drink you know, this toxin. And so during
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  Speaker 1: that time, I allowed myself to eat candy if I
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  Speaker 1: if I craved it, it would help me get through
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  Speaker 1: the cravings of alcohol. And also a big one for
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  Speaker 1: me was grapefruit juice. Who salt in the rim? I
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  Speaker 1: don't know? That was my mocktail at the time, and
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  Speaker 1: I loved it. So let's talk about when those cravings come,
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  Speaker 1: because you got to start asking a different question. What
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  Speaker 1: am I really needing right now? Right? So there's things
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  Speaker 1: that you need in your life? And do you need rest?
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  Speaker 1: Rest was a really big one. Do you need connection,
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  Speaker 1: ask for that help? Right? Do you need to cry?
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  Speaker 1: Do you need to forgive yourself? Because underneath it all,
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  Speaker 1: almost every craving was the need I didn't meet before.
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  Speaker 1: I didn't know how to meet it right. So when
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  Speaker 1: you have a craving, I want you to get up.
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  Speaker 1: One of the tools that I talk about I have
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  Speaker 1: a whole sobriety toolkit in my book that I talk
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  Speaker 1: about my wake Up not Broken, You're Not Broken book.
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  Speaker 1: And your brain can't think of two things at one time.
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  Speaker 1: So if you get up, move a muscle, change of thought.
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  Speaker 1: You get up, you move, you create action, You go
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  Speaker 1: on a walk, you do something during that time that
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  Speaker 1: that craving happens. You go in journal right and you
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  Speaker 1: cry it out if you need to. You're seeking that
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  Speaker 1: forgiveness of yourself, or go take that rest or meditation,
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  Speaker 1: just allow yourself to be and don't raced. You're going
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  Speaker 1: to feel a lot of anxiety. You're going to feel
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  Speaker 1: like you have to do it right. Like your body
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  Speaker 1: is like, oh my god, if you don't go take
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  Speaker 1: that drink of alcohol right now, I'm going to die.
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  Speaker 1: But you're not. You're not. And the cravings, like I said,
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  Speaker 1: are going to last about twenty minutes. So get up,
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  Speaker 1: do something and help yourself through that craving. Because you
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  Speaker 1: have a choice. You can give into the craving or
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  Speaker 1: you can do something to get through it, get you know,
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  Speaker 1: through that next moment, each moment, And that's what I
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  Speaker 1: want you to stay in because it's so important in
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  Speaker 1: that early sobriety and in sobriety altogether and in life altogether.
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  Speaker 1: Live in the day, don't think about forever, right, live
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  Speaker 1: in that day, and get yourself through each moment, each
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  Speaker 1: second if you need to, So remember, move a muscle,
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  Speaker 1: change of thought, get up, do something else when that
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  Speaker 1: craving presents, because it will. And really just start asking
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  Speaker 1: you different yourself, did some different questions and take care
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  Speaker 1: of yourself. Now let's talk about lesson too. The triggers,
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  Speaker 1: they're not trying to destroy you. They are real. I
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  Speaker 1: used to think triggers were proof that I wasn't healing right,
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  Speaker 1: that it wasn't I wasn't doing something right. And these
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  Speaker 1: are people, places and things that are going to trigger you.
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  Speaker 1: You have that muscle memory. So whether it's a glass,
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  Speaker 1: like I had one glass that I always drank my
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  Speaker 1: wine out of, right, that that was a trigger. So
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  Speaker 1: if I saw that glass, that would trigger me to
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  Speaker 1: want to drink. So I got rid of that glass.
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  Speaker 1: So just think, if you if you know that you
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  Speaker 1: are going to be presented with these triggers, create the change,
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  Speaker 1: you know, change your route going home from work, right
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  Speaker 1: if you drive past that liquor store. Right, if you're
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  Speaker 1: feeling lonely, find somebody that you can talk to. Make
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  Speaker 1: sure that you have someone that you can reach out
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  Speaker 1: to if you are being triggered. So important, there are
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  Speaker 1: people in your life that are going to trigger you.
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  Speaker 1: There were people that I drink with in my life,
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  Speaker 1: and we're going to have to make those changes. We're
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  Speaker 1: going to have to help ourselves to not be triggered
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  Speaker 1: during the early sobriety and beyond. And be honest. If
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  Speaker 1: this is someone you love, someone you want to keep
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  Speaker 1: in your life, but they're triggering you to want to drink,
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  Speaker 1: be open with them and just tell them that you're
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  Speaker 1: trying to get through, you know, stopping drinking and you're
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  Speaker 1: used to drinking with them. So if they could just
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  Speaker 1: please understand during this time you just need a little
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  Speaker 1: space to focus on yourself and don't make it about them.
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  Speaker 1: Just make it about yourself. Right, So these triggers, again
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  Speaker 1: that muscle memory, You are going to be triggered to
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  Speaker 1: want to drink if you continue to have the people,
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  Speaker 1: places and things in your life, right, So it's just
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  Speaker 1: learning to respond differently, learning to create these changes in
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  Speaker 1: your life so you are not triggered to want to drink. Now.
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  Speaker 1: I've talked about my book wake Up, You're Not Broken,
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  Speaker 1: and I dive so much deeper into all of these things,
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  Speaker 1: in the science behind it and why it's happening. And
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  Speaker 1: if you're listening to this and you're saying this is me,
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  Speaker 1: this is exactly where I am. And I'm ready. I'm
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  Speaker 1: ready to move forward, I'm ready to change my life.
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  Speaker 1: I'm ready to do something different. Just know that you
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  Speaker 1: don't have to have it all figured out for the
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  Speaker 1: rest of your life. It's just a day. You don't
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  Speaker 1: even have to have it figured out for next week.
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  Speaker 1: Maybe it's just the next right step. And that's why
• 14:42
  Speaker 1: I wrote my book wake Up, You're Not Broken. I
• 14:45
  Speaker 1: wrote it for the person who's finally ready, ready to
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  Speaker 1: stop drinking, ready to stop carrying the shame, ready to
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  Speaker 1: believe that life can be different. It's a gentle companion
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  Speaker 1: for that first thirty days of sobriety. It's not a
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  Speaker 1: book filled with judgment or imp possible expectations, just daily encouragement,
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  Speaker 1: honest reflection, and practical guidance from someone who's been there,
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  Speaker 1: because those first thirty days can feel so lonely and overwhelming,
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  Speaker 1: they can feel scary, and sometimes you just simply need
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  Speaker 1: someone walking beside you saying you're going to be okay,
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  Speaker 1: We're going to take a quick break. And I'd love
• 15:27
  Speaker 1: to share a little more about it with you. Are
• 15:29
  Speaker 1: you in the first thirty days of sobriety are wondering
• 15:32
  Speaker 1: if now is your time to start? Hi? I'm Marcy
• 15:36
  Speaker 1: Hopkins and I wrote wake Up You're Not Broken just
• 15:39
  Speaker 1: for you. It's a real raw guide to those first
• 15:42
  Speaker 1: thirty days, what no one tells you, what you will feel,
• 15:45
  Speaker 1: and how to keep going. This isn't about perfection, it's
• 15:49
  Speaker 1: about progress. Or to your copy now on Amazon. Remember
• 15:55
  Speaker 1: you're not alone, You're not broken, You're waking up. Welcome back,
• 15:59
  Speaker 1: and this is speaking to you. You can find wake
• 16:03
  Speaker 1: Up You're Not Broken on Amazon, good Reads, Barnes and Noble,
• 16:08
  Speaker 1: or you can go to my website wake Up with
• 16:11
  Speaker 1: Marcy dot com. So let's talk about lesson three. And
• 16:16
  Speaker 1: this is about spirituality and this is a big one
• 16:18
  Speaker 1: and I know this can be hard, and it's not
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  Speaker 1: about religion. Okay, let's be clear. Spirituality is not about religion.
• 16:27
  Speaker 1: So when I first got sober, people talked about religion
• 16:32
  Speaker 1: turning yourself over to a higher power spirituality, And honestly,
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  Speaker 1: I didn't know the difference. But what I did discover
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  Speaker 1: is that spirituality wasn't about having all the answers, wasn't
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  Speaker 1: about the big, scary guy that I'd learned about God
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  Speaker 1: in the sky. It was about admitting that I didn't
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  Speaker 1: have to do this on my own, that there was
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  Speaker 1: something bigger than myself, that I didn't have to carry
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  Speaker 1: all of this by myself anymore. Then maybe there was
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  Speaker 1: something bigger than my fear. Maybe there was grace, maybe
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  Speaker 1: there was hope, maybe there was a version of me
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  Speaker 1: waiting on the other side of this. Spirituality became connection,
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  Speaker 1: and I did this through grounding and meditation and going
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  Speaker 1: within myself and prayer and getting out into nature and
• 17:32
  Speaker 1: connecting to my higher power. And again, this isn't about
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  Speaker 1: going outside of yourself. It's about going within and connecting
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  Speaker 1: to yourself, connecting to other people, listening to the guidance
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  Speaker 1: through other people's messages, connecting to life, knowing that truly
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  Speaker 1: you are not by yourself in this path, this life.
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  Speaker 1: There is so much more. There's so much more, and
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  Speaker 1: there's a path for you that is better. And when
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  Speaker 1: you turn yourself over to that higher power, whatever that
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  Speaker 1: is for you, that means you don't feel the weight
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  Speaker 1: of the world on yourself and you don't feel like
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  Speaker 1: you are doing this on your own, and you're not.
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  Speaker 1: I now see so many signs from the other side,
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  Speaker 1: and through my healing journey, I have been guided in
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  Speaker 1: so many ways from my higher power, and I share
• 18:38
  Speaker 1: that within my book Wake Up You're Not Broken. I
• 18:41
  Speaker 1: also share it in my book Chaos to Clarity, seeing
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  Speaker 1: the signs from the other side and breaking generational cycles.
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  Speaker 1: So don't get hung up on what you were taught
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  Speaker 1: when you were growing up, and to be fearful of
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  Speaker 1: this big, bad God. He's not damning you. He's there
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  Speaker 1: to walk with you. To me, God is an energetic
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  Speaker 1: force of love, a connection of love. So now let's
• 19:15
  Speaker 1: talk about the fourth lesson, and that's that surrendering. And
• 19:22
  Speaker 1: I think that surrendering gets misunderstood. People think surrendering means
• 19:28
  Speaker 1: you've lost, you've lost something, you've failed, that you've given up,
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  Speaker 1: and it's quitting. But Surrendering isn't quitting, it's releasing the
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  Speaker 1: illusion that control was ever keeping you safe. Control is
• 19:45
  Speaker 1: not keeping you safe. Perfection of them is not keeping
• 19:50
  Speaker 1: you safe. You can't control everything around yourself. The only
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  Speaker 1: thing you can control is yourself and your response to life. Surrender.
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  Speaker 1: Worrying is saying I don't know exactly how this is
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  Speaker 1: going to work, but I'm willing. I'm willing to ask
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  Speaker 1: for help. I'm willing to be uncomfortable and get uncomfortable.
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  Speaker 1: I'm willing to trust that there's another way to live.
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  Speaker 1: And I can honestly tell you the moment I surrendered,
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  Speaker 1: my healing truly begin. My life. My new life truly begin.
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  Speaker 1: And if you're watching or listening today and you're tired,
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  Speaker 1: if you're carrying the shame, if you're wondering whether you
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  Speaker 1: have what it takes, I want you to hear this.
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  Speaker 1: You do have what it takes. You are one decision
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  Speaker 1: away from starting this path. You get to choose if
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  Speaker 1: you are ready to surrender, and I want you to
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  Speaker 1: hear this. The cravings will pass, the triggers will soften,
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  Speaker 1: the fear will get quieter, and one day you're going
• 21:00
  Speaker 1: to realize you didn't lose your life when you got sober.
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  Speaker 1: You didn't lose whatever fun you thought you were having
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  Speaker 1: or whatever was releasing your or calming your anxiety. You're
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  Speaker 1: getting your life back. You're getting your family back, you're
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  Speaker 1: getting your friends back, you're getting your passion back. You're
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  Speaker 1: getting back the young person that you lost through whatever
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  Speaker 1: trauma you went through. You're not weak, you're not broken.
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  Speaker 1: You are beginning, and you are never too far gone
• 21:36
  Speaker 1: to begin again again. If this conversation resonated with you,
• 21:41
  Speaker 1: share it with someone who needs to hear it. Like
• 21:43
  Speaker 1: it commented, comment on it. I want to hear from you.
• 21:49
  Speaker 1: And if you are beginning your own recovery journey, I
• 21:52
  Speaker 1: hope you pick up a copy of my book, wake
• 21:55
  Speaker 1: Up You're Not Broken, because healing doesn't happen all at once,
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  Speaker 1: happens one breath, one choice, one day at a time. Again,
• 22:06
  Speaker 1: I want to tell you a little bit more about
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  Speaker 1: my book, so you know if this book is right
• 22:12
  Speaker 1: for you. Wake Up You're Not Broken is for anyone
• 22:15
  Speaker 1: who is tired of letting alcohol control their life. It's
• 22:20
  Speaker 1: for the person who has promised themselves tomorrow will be different.
• 22:24
  Speaker 1: It's for the woman who looks like she has it
• 22:27
  Speaker 1: all together on the outside, but is quietly struggling on
• 22:30
  Speaker 1: the inside. It's for anyone who is ready to stop
• 22:33
  Speaker 1: surviving and start living. What you're going to find inside
• 22:38
  Speaker 1: of this book. It's not about perfection. It's a gentle
• 22:44
  Speaker 1: companion for the first thirty days of sobriety, offering daily encouragement,
• 22:49
  Speaker 1: honest reflections, practical tools, and hope for the moments when
• 22:53
  Speaker 1: recovery feels overwhelming, and it will each day. Is designed
• 22:58
  Speaker 1: to help you take one one small step from chaos
• 23:02
  Speaker 1: to peace. And how does this help? The first month
• 23:07
  Speaker 1: of sobriety can feel lonely, uncertain, and frightening. It just does.
• 23:12
  Speaker 1: And this book reminds you that you don't have to
• 23:15
  Speaker 1: have all the answers. You don't have to do forever,
• 23:19
  Speaker 1: You only have to do today. Through personal stories, encouragement,
• 23:25
  Speaker 1: and daily guidance, wake Up You're not broken helps you
• 23:28
  Speaker 1: to rebuild self trust, reconnect with yourself, and discover that
• 23:33
  Speaker 1: healing is possible because recovery isn't about becoming someone new.
• 23:38
  Speaker 1: It's about coming home to that person you were always
• 23:41
  Speaker 1: meant to be. I am sending you so much love
• 23:45
  Speaker 1: right now hope, encouragement, and I want to thank you
• 23:49
  Speaker 1: for showing up and being part of Wake Up with Marcy.
• 23:55
  Speaker 1: It's your time. It's your time. Make the decision to
• 24:00
  Speaker 1: render today, start building the new life for yourself because remember,
• 24:09
  Speaker 1: as I said earlier, rock bottom is not the end.
• 24:15
  Speaker 1: It's a time to begin rebuilding the life you were
• 24:20
  Speaker 1: meant to have and coming back to yourself. All right, guys,
• 24:24
  Speaker 1: I'll see you next Thursday with a brand new episode.