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30 Years Old: I Wasted My 20s · The Spirit Nomad: Spiritual Awakening + Life Purpose

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  I'm Julia and you're listening to the spread know my podcast,
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  the show that helps spiritual Seekers step into their purpose
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  and freedom. You can find the video version
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  of this podcast and many more on the spur of the moment YouTube
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  channel. Now, let's get into the episode.
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  I'm 30, and looking back at my twenties, I really waste them
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  but they led me to where I am now.
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  And today, I will share what I learned.
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  So you don't have to waste years to find out what I have to sum
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  up my twenties. It was all a big quest to chase,
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  external validation. I was a chameleon when I first
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  meet a person, I would try to figure them out.
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  What are they like? What they don't like?
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  Like what other values and then I would adapt to that and
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  pretend that I felt the same at always and keep quiet about what
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  I didn't agree with. I desperately needed to be liked
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  by every single person on this planet.
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  And as a result people did like me including people.
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  I had nothing in common with and who I didn't even want to be
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  friends with many friends and partners.
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  I attracted were people. Far from my soul tribe.
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  And even though few people hated me, I never really got close to
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  anyone because I was scared to be vulnerable.
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  So I never showed my real self. I pretended to agree with their
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  political views. I pretended to be extroverted.
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  I pretended to like alcohol even though I have never, I even went
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  so far to impress a friend that I pretended, to me.
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  It'd be a meat eater even though I've been a vegetarian for
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  years. So I joined in getting the
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  chicken kabob and everything and it was extra awkward afterwards
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  when this person said that they hate vegetarians and I could do
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  nothing else than agree because I mean I had the chicken kabob
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  and as you can imagine, I was really struggling in staying in
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  relationships. I couldn't work out what it was.
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  Why I couldn't? Keep a long-term boyfriend, but
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  looking back. It's so obvious.
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  They never got to know the real me.
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  And I attracted the wrong guys into my life, people with
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  completely different values to me, because if they had known
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  who I was, if I was up front with this is who I am, this is
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  what I like this one. Don't like these are my values,
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  then. The guys who didn't agree with
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  those things and were put off by those things that would have
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  left and I would have attracted it and the person for me and
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  eventually I did staff. As you might know, we have the
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  brand confirmed guides together and you might wonder how was I
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  able to do this after this epic. Fail of alpha love life.
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  Well, at that point, I had just broken up with my ex, we had
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  been together for four months. It was the longest one so far.
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  I was crushed. And after that point, I was not
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  looking to date anyone. So, I was just being my real
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  self because I was, I didn't need anybody.
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  You like me but that is what made him fall in love with me,
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  that I was so real. So in the end, all the Love Guru
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  books. I had read about how to behave,
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  how to play hard to get all that didn't matter.
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  It was just about being real and being myself.
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  That was all it took to retract, your twin, find your soulmate,
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  but my quest for external validation didn't stop there.
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  No no I also started growing An Instagram account where I would
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  be in my body on a beach or in some environment, it would just
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  be me my body and it felt great to get those likes because I
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  really struggled with my self-worth, all throughout my
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  life, and I was a study nerd in school.
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  So to finally get some external validation felt great.
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  I believed being young and beautiful was my only asset I
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  had nothing more than to say. So it would just be this picture
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  of me. And then a quote, from some
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  other spiritual teacher or Guru to my friends and family.
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  It looked like I was living this ideal beautiful Dream Life as a
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  digital Nomad, but I just felt empty inside.
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  I was lonely. I was chasing me stronger
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  validation but the happiness wasn't coming from within the
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  validation wasn't coming from within everything changed.
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  When I started my blog and YouTube channel, the spirit
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  Nomad, which you I found it congrats.
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  It was really terrifying. At first to put myself out
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  there, but it was so much fun. People were actually caring
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  about what I had to say. I didn't know that before, so I
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  then started listening more to myself.
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  I was asking myself, what do I want?
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  What is Julie I want. And I learned so much like, for
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  example, these push-up bras I was wearing because I wanted My
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  boobs. Look bigger.
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  I hate them. I felt so constricted.
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  I stopped wearing them. I stopped wearing bras jeans,
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  same thing too constrictive. I can't stretch.
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  I can move. I saw software in jeans, and I
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  stopped drinking alcohol because of peer pressure.
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  I never liked the taste of alcohol, and I embraced being a
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  vegetarian. I was proud of it not like in
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  the face Through Blood at the people wearing fur.
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  But like I wasn't embarrassed. Of my values.
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  I came out of my spiritual cloth and I started talking about
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  angel numbers, aliens starseeds all the most, woo stuff you can
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  imagine on this channel and it was really terrifying.
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  At first, I was really worrying about how my family would take
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  it, but now I don't even care anymore.
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  I'm loving it. I'm loving being me.
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  I want to end this with five really powerful affirmations.
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  If you have been struggling with people pleasing as well, Well, I
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  think they are from the book. Not nice, which is
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  life-changing, by the way. So close your eyes and really
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  feel these. It's good to discover what I
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  want. It's good to ask for what I
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  want. It's good to say what I want.
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  It's good to say, what? I don't want, it's good to be
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  able to put myself first. You can open your eyes.
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  Now let's continue the discussion in my telegram group,
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  the spirit Nomad podcasts tribe. Link in the description.
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  If you'd like to support the podcast.
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  Leave a review and share it with a friend.
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  Thanks for listening and have a beautiful day.