Latest / The Career Mentor Podcast with Fexingo: Finding Mentors, Sponsors, and Career Advisors / How to Find a Mentor When You Are a Career Adviser
Transcript
- Lucas: So, Luna, you've spent years giving career advice to other people. When was the last time you actually asked someone for career advice yourself? Luna: That's a really good question, and honestly, it might be longer than I'd like to admit. I think there's something about being the person who's supposed to have the answers that makes it hard to ask for help. Lucas: That's exactly what we're digging into today. We've done so many episodes on how to find a mentor for everyone from new grads to laid-off workers, but we haven't talked about the people who are paid to guide others. Career advisers, coaches, HR professionals, even managers who do a lot of mentoring as part of their job. Luna: So who mentors the mentor? That's the angle. Lucas: Right. And it's a real gap, because if you're known for your advice, there's an extra layer of pressure. You feel like you have to practice what you preach, and admitting you're stuck can feel like a failure of credibility. Lucas: I saw this firsthand with a former colleague who was a senior career counselor at a university. She was brilliant at helping students navigate their paths, but when it came to her own career, she was totally stuck. She'd been in the same role for years, feeling burned out, but she couldn't bring herself to talk to anyone about it because she thought it would undermine her authority. Luna: That's a classic irony. And what did she do? Lucas: She eventually joined a professional supervision group. It's like a structured peer support group for people in helping professions, where they discuss cases and their own challenges. That's where she found her mentor, an older counselor from a different institution who had been through similar transitions. Luna: So supervision groups are a specific avenue that a lot of career advisers might not think of. But what made that person a mentor rather than just another peer in the group? Lucas: Good question. The key was the difference in perspective and experience. The older counselor wasn't just someone to vent to; she had navigated a shift from counseling to administration, which is something my colleague was considering. And she was outside the immediate circle, so there was no office politics to worry about. Lucas: That's a really important point for anyone in a helping role. The people you work with every day might be too close to the situation, or too invested in you staying where you are. A mentor from outside your organization or even your field can offer a more objective view. Luna: So for a career adviser, the first step might be to look beyond their own institution. But what about the internal resistance? If you're used to being the expert, how do you get over that hump of asking for help? Lucas: I think it starts with reframing what it means to be a good adviser. The best counselors I know are the ones who model lifelong learning. They're not pretending to have all the answers; they're showing that it's okay to seek guidance. That's not a weakness, it's a strength. Luna: That's a good reframe. And it's also practical, because if you can't be honest with yourself, how can you expect your clients to be honest with you? Lucas: Exactly. And that's where finding the right mentor comes in. For a career adviser, you don't necessarily need someone who knows more about career theory. You need someone who understands the specific challenges of being in a helping profession, like managing emotional labor, dealing with difficult clients, or navigating the politics of your department. Lucas: I remember a story from another coach, a friend of mine who works in HR. She found her mentor through a professional association for HR professionals. They paired her with a senior executive who had been in HR for twenty years, but the surprising thing was, they didn't talk much about HR processes. They talked about leadership, about influence, about how to stay true to your values when you're caught between management and employees. Luna: So it was more about the broader leadership aspect than the technical side. That makes sense, because a career adviser's role is often a bridge between individual aspirations and organizational realities. Lucas: Right. And the mentor doesn't have to be from the same field. In fact, sometimes it's better if they're not. A mentor from a completely different industry can ask the basic questions that you've stopped asking, because you're too deep in your own assumptions. Luna: That's a good point. So what are some concrete ways a career adviser can find a mentor, ideally without feeling awkward about it? Lucas: The first is to leverage the professional associations you already belong to. Many of them have formal mentorship programs, like the one my HR friend used. The National Career Development Association, for example, has a mentoring program specifically for career professionals. Lucas: Another avenue is to look outside your own discipline. If you're a career coach, maybe reach out to someone in organizational development, or a leadership coach, or even a therapist who specializes in career issues. They can offer a different lens. Luna: And what about the informal route? Like reaching out to someone you admire, maybe from a conference or a LinkedIn connection. Lucas: That's often the most effective way, actually. But it takes a bit of courage. You have to be specific about what you're looking for. Instead of saying 'will you be my mentor?' which is a big ask, you can ask for a one-time conversation about a particular challenge you're facing. That's less intimidating for both sides. Lucas: Once you have that conversation, you can gauge if there's chemistry and then see if you can establish a longer-term relationship. It's a more organic way to build a mentoring connection. Luna: That makes sense. And what about the mental block? How do you actually get yourself to make that first move when you're used to being the one who gives advice? Lucas: I think it helps to remind yourself that everyone needs a mentor, regardless of their seniority. Even CEOs have coaches. So it's not a sign of weakness; it's a sign of self-awareness. And if you're a career adviser, you know the research: people who have mentors are more likely to advance and feel satisfied. So you'd be a hypocrite not to have one. Luna: Ha, that's a good point. I've never thought of it that way, but it's true. If we preach it, we should practice it. Lucas: Exactly. And that's actually a great way to frame it to yourself. You're not just doing this for your own benefit, you're also being a better role model for your clients. When they see you being open to learning, it gives them permission to do the same. Luna: That's a nice way to look at it. So, to sum up, for a career adviser, the best mentors are often outside their immediate circle, and the first step is just to ask for a conversation, not a formal commitment. Lucas: Right. And if you're listening and you're a career adviser, I'd encourage you to think about what you really need. Is it a sounding board? Someone to challenge your assumptions? Or maybe someone who can help you navigate a specific transition, like moving into management or starting your own practice? Lucas: Because the type of mentor you need depends on the stage you're at. A newer coach might need someone who can help with the business side, while a veteran might need someone to help them stay inspired and avoid burnout. Luna: That's a good distinction. And it also highlights that mentorship doesn't have to be a lifelong commitment. It can be a short-term arrangement to get you through a specific challenge. Lucas: Absolutely. I've had mentors for a season, and that's fine. The key is to be intentional about what you're looking for and to be open to learning from people who are different from you. Lucas: One more thing I want to mention is the importance of reciprocation. Even as a mentor, you're also learning from your mentee. So if you're a career adviser, you might find that mentoring someone else can actually help you clarify your own thinking. It's a two-way street. Luna: That's true. And I think that's something we should all remember, regardless of our profession. Lucas: So, to bring it back to today's topic: if you're a career adviser, or really anyone in a helping profession, don't forget to seek your own guidance. It's not a luxury; it's a necessity for staying effective and fulfilled. Lucas: And, you know, we've been talking a lot about mentorship here, and if this conversation has been useful to you, and you've gotten something out of it, we'd love it if you considered supporting the show. If today was worth a coffee to you, that's the link: buy me a coffee dot com slash fexingo. Luna: Yeah, it's a small way to keep these conversations ad-free and accessible. Every bit helps. Lucas: And we're not going anywhere, but we appreciate the support. So back to what we were saying — that idea of finding a mentor even when you're the one who's supposed to know everything. I think there's one more point worth making. Luna: What's that? Lucas: It's that the best mentors are often the ones who are a little bit scary. They're the ones who will tell you what you need to hear, not what you want to hear. And for a career adviser, who's used to being the voice of wisdom, that can be a humbling but incredibly valuable experience. Luna: That's a great note to end on. So find someone who challenges you, and remember that even the guide needs a guide. Lucas: Well said. And that's all for today. Thanks for joining us.