Latest / Good Morning From The Chicken Coop! / Season 3 - Episode 112 - It is HARD being a nonjudgemental observer

Transcript

Season 3 - Episode 112 - It is HARD being a nonjudgemental observer · Good Morning From The Chicken Coop!

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  Welcome to the Good Morning from the Chicken Coop podcast with
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  Kim Johnson, your creative strategist and mastermind set
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  coach. Filled with inspiration,
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  distinctions, perspectives, and possibilities, we help you to
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  cultivate a mindset that leads you to create the best version
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  of yourself you could ever imagine.
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  Join Kim every morning from one of her favorite happy places,
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  her chicken coop, along with all her chickens.
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  Hey everybody, good morning from the chicken coop.
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  Today we are talking about being a non judgmental observer.
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  Wow, doesn't that like sounds so great in theory Anyway, being a
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  non judgmental observer, of all the things that I may ask you to
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  do over the time we spend together here, this may be the
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  most difficult one. Being the non judgmental
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  observer, probably the hardest thing I've ever had to work on
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  in my life. Don't say I never will come out
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  and say that I've got it conquered because I don't.
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  Because I do have those moments where I lose my cool and it is
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  always the me jumping to an emotional conclusion and making
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  a judgement and then of course having a reaction to it.
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  I can tell you right now if you and my husband will listen to
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  this later and we will laugh about it.
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  But it's true. The stove is one of my places
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  where I have a very hard time being a non judgmental observer
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  or love when my husband cooks. But watching him flip eggs and
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  add spices, he is like a French chef in the kitchen and there's
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  always stuff flying. And for me, the obsessively
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  clean girl, it is like, Oh no, the stove.
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  And I instantaneously have a reaction.
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  And to this day I have to work on it.
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  And I laugh about it because I think it's like it's just God's
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  joke with me about how it reminds me that this is all work
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  we have to do constantly. If I had it mastered and it
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  didn't bother me, then clearly I would not remember that I was
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  human and I might get a little full of myself.
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  But he reminds me every day and I love that.
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  So non judgmental observers, what does this mean?
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  Means you can see something happen and you can instead of
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  coming to a conclusion instantaneously, you can pause
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  and you can pull yourself out of it and just say, this is
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  interesting. Let me stop.
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  Let me think about this now. I'm excellent at this with my
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  clients. My clients can call and they can
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  tell me anything. And believe me, they tell me
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  some very interesting things, but I can't judge it.
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  I have to just meet them where they are and I have to hear them
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  out so that I can help them. Because if I decide to go
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  emotional, I'm not going to get them anywhere.
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  I'm going to end up messing things up because in my emotion,
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  I'm not going to think clearly. Because when remember, I will
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  say this, often when emotions go up, intelligence goes down.
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  Yes, hear that When emotions go up, intelligence goes down.
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  And that works positively and negatively.
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  So it's important to remember being the non non judgmental
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  observer is critically important to your success in anything.
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  Because if you are not in a state of already coming to a
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  conclusion, you can actually formulate a much better vision
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  of the entire situation. You get a clearer picture of the
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  situation before you can give ideas or have a way to solve it.
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  So you have to think of this in terms of the value is in you
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  being able to 1, not get your buttons pushed, but two, just
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  telling yourself I'm a non judgmental observer right now,
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  adding an extra seat on your bus, so to speak, in our
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  emotional bus when we have that, I have my non judgmental
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  observer and she's just doesn't have opinions clearly.
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  She's just there to see what it's all about.
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  Take it all in, think it through.
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  I once remember General Schwarzkopf, for those of you
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  who remember who he was, had a comment during the speaking
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  engagement and he said the smartest person in the room is
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  often the person who speaks last.
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  And I always thought about that because he was such a powerful
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  person in so many realms of the world, but he was also someone
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  that so many people liked. And, you know, again, that's
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  because he would observe everybody else and then he would
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  come to conclusions again, back to that non judgmental observer
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  mode. And I think that when we go to
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  that place and we say, OK, I'm going to formulate my opinions,
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  yes, I will have an opinion. But if I do it from the place of
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  already having the opinion going into it, I'm at a disadvantage.
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  If I pause myself, if I pull myself out, if I can get into
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  that place of neutral, non judgmental observation, then I
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  can come to a conclusion that is much more likely to serve me
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  because I can see all the avenues around it.
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  I can't stress to you guys enough how important this aspect
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  is because one of the things that it does for you is it gives
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  you the ability to see around you what's really happening
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  instead of just from your point of view.
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  You know, let's go back to my kitchen example.
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  My husband loves to cook for us, for the family.
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  I mean, that's one of his things that he actually gets so much
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  joy out of his cooking. And so when he's doing it, he's
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  not thinking about the mess he's making.
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  I think about the mess. He thinks about the fact that
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  he's lucky he's able to cook for his family.
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  He loves doing that. He loves to have people try the
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  food and say, wow, this is amazing.
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  So he's pouring love into this and I'm looking at it from a
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  different point of view Now, when I am not managing my state,
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  when I'm not managing my insane cleaning girl and she's sitting
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  at the front of the bus freaking out, that's what I see.
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  But when I am in my non judgmental observer, I can see
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  how much fun he's having and I don't want to rob him of the
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  fun. So I'm going to tell you today,
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  I want you guys to go out and try to cultivate your non
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  judgmental observers and see how that takes you, see where that
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  takes you, and I hope you have a very, very blessed day.