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Mars Vs Venus...The first date debate list · Black Girl Interrupted Podcast

• 0:11
  Black Girl Interrupted. Y'all already know how rut y'all, I already know how
• 0:28
  you started. Black girlbrupted. All right, there we go. All right,
• 0:49
  Hey, y'all, welcome back to another episode of Black Girl Interrupted.
• 0:53
  Y'all already know who it is. The girl asked your favorite girl friend the
• 0:57
  fible. Oh baby, how you're feeling to day? Kept Wednesday? It
• 1:00
  is hump day, y'all. We are two days away from the weekend,
• 1:04
  and I can't wait. I'm already ready for Friday. But anyway, I
• 1:08
  just want to jump on the night. Y'all know I'm doing another episode,
• 1:12
  but I'm excited to be doing another episode tonight. Mm tonight is gonna get
• 1:19
  a little joicy. I don't know. Oh, I've been kind of sitting
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  back weaaring a little heavy about this topic. But I was like, you
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  know what, let me just go ahead and jump into it because everybody been
• 1:32
  talking about it. But that first date list in that cheesecake factory. Lady
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  Girl, Girl, Girl, Girl Girl. But anyway, but y'all know
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  what I do every time I started a new episode, y'all know, I
• 1:48
  always have to check in, do my mental health check ins. I gotta
• 1:52
  know how y'all are feeling. Y'all dropping the comments, let me know how
• 1:55
  you're feeling mentally. I know I just saw y'all yesterday. I know I
• 1:59
  asked that question yesterday. But moods change, feelings changed from day to day.
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  You don't wake up the same way every day. You know, yesterday
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  you may have woke up in a good mood. Today you may have woke
• 2:09
  up and just just wasn't in a really good mood. But always have to
• 2:14
  do my mental health check in y'all know. I always play something that's encouraging,
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  something that's inspiring, something to uplift you, to make sure that whatever
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  it is that you're going through, you get through it. So here we
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  go, and then we're gonna jump into some nice conversation. When everybody's against
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  you or don't believe in you no more, it's a lonely feeling. Oh
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  it hurts very badly. I know what that's like. And look at you
• 2:44
  with that look and say, why don't you try something else? Why don't
• 2:46
  you give up? Get away from these people that's in your life that ain't
• 2:52
  doing nothing. Get away from people in your life that's hey, get away
• 2:55
  from them. Get away from them. If you take an oak tree seed
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  and you put it in a two foot pot, that sea will never become.
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  Then what do you do when it seems like suffering won't stop? What
• 3:23
  do you do when it feels like you're pain doesn't have a point. What
• 3:29
  does it do when it feels like your weakness is continue to worsen. Maybe
• 3:35
  you've taken a knockdown concerning your finances lately. Maybe it's with your kids,
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  maybe with your marriage, maybe with your health, maybe some other arena of
• 3:43
  life. You're laying on the mat, gasping, and you don't know what
• 3:46
  you're gonna do. People ask you how you are, and you say fine,
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  but you're not fine, And don't ever know that we're people. We're
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  people, and we struggle and we suffer, and we bleed and we cry.
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  And you think that true strength means never showing any weakness. That I'm
• 4:02
  here to tell you you're wrong. You're wrong, because it's the opposite.
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  You're gonna get depressed. Sometimes, you're gonna have weeks where you don't feel
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  like eating, where gravity is working over time like it's afraid of getting laid
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  off, and you can barely lift your fork to your mouth and you are
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  going to have a choice. You have a choice to either give up or
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  keep going, give up or get up. It's like you have to save
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  your life. No that's going to be able to save it for you.
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  So we have to do what we have to do, no matter what it
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  is. We all struggle. We all know what it is to hurt,
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  We all know what it is to have pain in our heart. And you
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  know what, It's okay, And that's just a part of life. As
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  much as I hate some of the parts of my life, depression has dragged
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  me down to in a lot of ways, I'm grateful for it because,
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  yeah, it's put me in the valleys, but only to show me there's
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  peaks. And yeah it's dragged me through the dark, but only to remind
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  me there is light. Life is not always good, Life is not always
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  rosy. Life is worth living. When you fail, try again and again
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  and again. Hold on to that fundamental quality of faith. Have faith,
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  and on the other side of your pain is something good. I believe that
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  this is your beginning. But this doesn't have to be your e that's just
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  because you are carr me here. This is your present circumstances. That life
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  don't have to end for you right now. This might be a page in
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  your life, It might even be a chapter in your life, but it
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  ain't the book. Baby. You are not finished writing yet. So I
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  need you to get busy living. Are you hearing me? I need you
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  to get busy living. There is still time. As long as there's breadth
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  in your nostros. As long as you can wake up in the morning,
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  you still in the game. Which means if you're in the game and there's
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  still time in the game, still time left in the game, you can
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  still win the game. The last chapter of your story has not been written
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  yet. The fact that you're here today is a testament to the fact that
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  the devil hasn't been able to destroy you. You're in the darkest place in
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  your life. Like don You're at the darkest place in your life right now.
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  Whole off, don't give up, don't quit. You at the darkest
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  point of your life. If you could just look at your situation from a
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  different angle, realize that beauty does come from death. Are you in a
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  storm? Are but do we? Two miracles? You take those terrible events
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  in your life and you create a new story of triumphs. We gotta become
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  something new. We take those traumas, we take that pain, and we
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  allow it to become a part of who we want to be. What if
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  I told you that there's greatness on the other side of your darkness, that
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  there is joy on the other side of your pain. What if I told
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  you you got everything you need to make it through your storm. Just storm
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  will not take you out. And I know you've been tired, and I
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  know it's been hurting, and I know it's been life long, and it
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  might be an addiction. It may be wondering how much longer you're gonna have
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  a job, or when you're gonna get one, or when this is all
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  gonna be over. But you're not gonna die in this triumph. You're gonna
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  make it. In fact, you're gonna be better. I want you to
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  look in the mirror and I want you to tell yourself, I am a
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  survivor. Listen to me, and you can get through this. I want
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  you to speak life into that thing, whatever it is was frustrate me,
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  like, for real, you feel like I can't go through another day like
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  this. I can't handle it, I can't take it. Listen to me
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  very closely, say it with me and breathe life and show whatever that thing
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  is, whatever your circumstances are, say with me, I can't, I
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  can't. I can't get through this. I will. I will get through
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  this. I must. That was a much needed video. I don't know
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  who needed to hear that, but I know I needed to hear that to
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  date because let me say this, I like what I do at my place
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  of employment. I do, but I'm tired, I'm burnout, and I'm
• 9:09
  really ready to focus on what I love to do, and that is podcasting.
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  I love being able to get in these spaces and have these phenomenal conversations
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  about everyday life, things that go on in the world, things that go
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  on in our community. I love being I love the fact that God gave
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  me the gift to do exactly what it is that I do. So now
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  it's time for me to step out in my purpose. You know, like
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  I told y'all yesterday, it's been a difficult journey for me. These last
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  three years have been very rough for me. You know, in the midst
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  of losing my father, in the midst of losing my niece, in the
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  midst of losing my god my godmother. I'm sorry. I'm still here and
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  I still continue to push on. I still continue to say this is what
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  I want to do. So that video just really spoke life into me.
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  Again, I don't know who needed to hear that tonight. But speak life
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  into whatever it is that you're trying to do. Whether I don't care what
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  it is that you're trying to do. If you're trying to move up in
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  your position at your job, if you're trying to just excel in life,
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  speak speak life into that. Speak positively over yourself. You have to change
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  the way you speak because in tune, that will change the way you think.
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  So if you want positive things, you have to speak positively. As
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  long as you continue to doubt yourself, you're continuing to allow the devil to
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  win. So I've already said I'm doing what I need to do for twenty
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  twenty three, but just know, in twenty twenty four, I'm coming for
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  everything that I've allowed the devil to take from me. And that is my
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  piece, that is my sanity, that is my happiness, and I refuse
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  to let anyone take that away from me. So again, I don't know
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  who needed to hear that tonight. But I love you. Whatever it is
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  that you're going through, you got this, We got this. We're gonna
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  make it. Like I said, we have a month and a half left
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  in twenty twenty three, let's finish strong and let's just set ourselves. You
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  know, we fell down, but they gonna hate the bounce back. I
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  believe that I received that, and I'm gonna go with that. So,
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  uh, Frederick says, I'm well, and you I'm good. I'm good.
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  I will say that I'm alive, I'm here, I'm employed, so
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  I'm good. You know. I won't complain about the little things. I'll
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  just embrace my small accomplishments that I can't continue to make every day that open
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  my eyes. So I don't want to get too much he in that because
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  we'll pick back up onto this next week. But y'all already know I have
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  to do my mental health check ins. I want to make sure everyone is
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  good. You know, I really genuinely hope and pray that whatever storm you're
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  standing in the midst of it does it will soon pass. So on that
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  note, let's jump into to nice conversation, because Babe, I want to
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  talk about this first date list. So a couple of weeks ago, there
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  was a video that went viral of a young lady. Hi, honey,
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  I love you. I hope you're having a good night at work. I
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  missed you. I can't wait to see you. Two more weeks and you'll
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  be here anyway. It's not even about you. You always do that.
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  You come here and speaking in I just my mind just goes somewhere else.
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  But I love you, and I hope you're having a good night at work.
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  But there was a video that went viral of the cheesecake factory lady.
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  So, a young lady was going out on a date, very first date
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  with a young man and he apparently they I guess, didn't make it to
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  the first reservation, so they ended up at the cheesecake factory. Let me,
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  let me, let me, let me see this. When I saw
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  this video, it was the entitlement for me. It was the audacity for
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  her to say, I look this good. I'm not going I'm not going
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  to the cheesecake factory. I'm not getting out of the car. It's almost
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  like she threw a mini temple tantrum. Oh thank you, sweetie, I
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  miss you too, big So for those that have not seen the video,
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  I want to get into this video, like I really truly want to know,
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  like the entitlement, the sense of entitlement that women these days have is
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  almost sickening to me, Like I don't understand, like for our first date?
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  Are you serious you want to make and to spend hundreds of dollars on
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  you on a first date? Girl bye, girl by, you tried it.
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  But AnyWho will get back into that. I'll share my comments and my
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  thoughts and opinions on this. But anyway, the video went viral of like
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  I said, this was the first date between a man and a woman.
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  Apparently she refused to get out of the car when he pulled up to the
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  cheesecake factory. So here's the video in its entirety, and then we're gonna
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  jump back into the conversation because I really want to talk about this. I
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  really want to address the entitlement that a lot of women have these days.
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  Let's be bad. Let's let's just jump into tonight's comment. Let's let's go
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  into the video. Here we go, Okay, almost there. You just
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  need to find some parking. Oh my god, she's getting back. No,
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  I ain't nothing. I'm just talking to my girls. Okay. So
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  then I said, hi, yeah, mm hmm, let me just get
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  okay, he got me at the cheesecake factory, y'all. I mean,
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  you're not just gonna mm hmmm mm hm. Yes. Uh, would you
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  want me to open the door for you? Okay, look for you?
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  You're recording me? Yeah? Yeah, this is the cheesecake factory. This
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  is the cheesecake factory, y'all. What's the problem with that? This is
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  a chain restaurant. Who takes someone that looks like this to a chain restaurant?
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  Do you wanna talk about it? I'm I'm kind of talking about it,
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  even in front of them. Oh yeah, I wanna talk about it.
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  Yeah, come on, get on in the car. Yeah, we're
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  gonna talk about it. Kay. Oh okay, okay, okay, so
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  yes, let's talk about it. Let's talk about it. So you expect
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  a man to go all out on the first date, is that right?
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  I mean you're supposed to look at I mean when you take out a beautiful
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  woman. Yeah, and you're courting her because I get courted, So you're
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  courting her, right, You're supposed to take care of her You're supposed to
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  cover her. You're supposed to protect her, cherish her, treat her well,
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  right, yeah's supposed to do. I agree. I went to this
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  date as I expect, with the expectations for myself to keep you safe,
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  you know, to respect you, to favorite for your food of course,
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  pick you up of course, and just treat you like a gentleman, which
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  I believe I have done. I mean, you have. I, on
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  the other hand, have certain expectations for a girl I go out with on
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  the first day. I expect her to be respectful too. I expect her
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  to be cooperator. M hm. And at least you know, what did
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  I do that wasn't cooperative? Well, I mean, like even like when
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  we were walking to the car, you wouldn't uh put your hand around my
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  arm or anything like that, or my hand or anything. I mean,
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  it's too early for that, Okay. I can respect that. I can
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  respect that when I got to your apartment to pick you up, you didn't
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  want to invite me in. I can respect that too. We're not goad,
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  We're not there, okay. And then but I mean, I feel
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  like I'm doing everything I'm supposed to do as a woman. But I got
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  myself made wrong with the cheesecake factory. Right, Yes, there's a lot
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  wrong with the cheesecake factory. Well look at I mean, look at my
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  planner where we were gonna go originally. See, now that's that's where that's
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  where we should have went, all right, right there? What do you
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  mean now? See? I told you both yesterday and this morning, I
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  come to pick you up at four am at four pm, right, and
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  I got to your place at four pm. You didn't even come downstairs for
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  another hour, and so I was waiting downstairs for an hour. But I
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  wasn't expecting for work to take me so long. I got home a little
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  late, and like I said, I don't know you well enough to invite
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  you up into my apartment, and that is not possible. And that's why
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  I'm saying. I'm thinking, Okay, if we're not there in the relationship
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  to you know, meet at your apartment, then maybe we're not ready in
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  a relationship for such a nice, fancy restaurant as Aria, especially if I'm
• 20:08
  paying for the whole thing, which I'm still willing to do. But if
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  we're late, I mean I told you twice, we literally left your place
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  at the time that the reservation was supposed to be, and I specifically said
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  four, because maybe we could get there early and you can have some time
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  to get to know each other on the way there, and while we're in
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  the parking lot waiting for a reservation, we can still get to know each
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  other. Isn't there another restaurant you can call that? Like, you know,
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  the equivalent to that. I mean, I literally don't understand. Look
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  at me. I cannot go in the cheesecake factory. There's nothing that's embarrassing.
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  Listen, as I said, I have very specific certain expectation, child
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  Ordell. I can tell it's not gonna be there. I have and maybe
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  we're not right for each other, So respectfully, I'm gonna just drop you
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  off, don't I don't know who you didn't? Yeah, so you just
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  want to call it a night? I mean, isn't there some kind of
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  compromise or something? Ladies? Can you believe this? I'm sorry, y'all,
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  but if I don't feel respected, I'm not gonna go with the day.
• 21:40
  Wow. I mean you are serious? You really leaving? Yeah?
• 21:45
  I mean you didn't want this place anyway? I mean, I mean I
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  understand that I was late. I understand that. I understand that I could
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  have been a bit more cooperative you had you made some with points. That's
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  why I'm willing to compromise. Are you sure you want to go home?
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  I don't have a lot of rules, I don't have a lot of expectations
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  for our first day, but I've already said them and you've broken everyone.
• 22:15
  I'm sorry, we're dropping you up home? All right? Whatever? Well,
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  I mean, I guess I understand. You gotta do what you gotta
• 22:27
  do. Well, I'm sorry, I understand where you're coming from. M
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  I just I'm gonna give y'all a minute to let that digest for just the
• 22:57
  moment. I'm gonna give y'all a few more pasus. There we go.
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  I'm gonna get it together eventually, there you go. Oh, I'm gonna
• 23:08
  give y'all a moment to let that digest. But I'm gonna get y'all a
• 23:11
  few more seconds to let that digest because it was the entitlement for me.
• 23:21
  Okay, So I'm gonna give y'all my opinion on this situation. First of
• 23:27
  all, where was the courtesy? Where was the common courtesy? Okay?
• 23:37
  Number one, you were late, he said when he got there, you
• 23:41
  weren't even ready. Where was the common courtesy where you could have text and
• 23:49
  said, hey, I just got in from work, I'm running a little
• 23:55
  late. Something. Communicate. Let me tell yourself, the communication is everything.
• 24:00
  Okay, communication is ever rithing. Not only did you not communicate,
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  you went on a tangent and said, look at how I look. You
• 24:18
  look basic to me. You look just like an everyday mediocre female. And
• 24:25
  you may be a very pretty woman or whatever, but your attitude and your
• 24:30
  entitlement makes you very ugly. Okay. Then it was the fact that your
• 24:40
  request or requirements are what people ask for when they're pursuing a relationship, not
• 24:45
  a first date saying oh, he should protect you, he should do this.
• 24:51
  That's not your man, baby. Y'all are just now meeting for the
• 24:53
  first time, and you have this laundry list of demand saying this is what
• 25:00
  he should be doing for you on the first date. But what made me
• 25:07
  respect to him even more was how calm and how patient he was with her.
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  It's the entitlement for me. But this new age of women, this
• 25:17
  new generation of women, you got all these expectations. Oh I don't want
• 25:22
  to go eat here, or I don't want to go there because that's a
• 25:25
  chain restaurant. Girl. You probably eating McDonald's. You probably eat a Chick
• 25:29
  fil Ake, and those are chain restaurants. You look like a Starbucks drinker.
• 25:33
  Those are chain restaurants. So for you to insult this man by saying,
• 25:40
  well, I'm not getting out of the car, you never should have
• 25:44
  went. You never should have went. Number two, you had on a
• 25:52
  basic outfit. Girl. You had on a You had on an outfit for
• 25:56
  the cheesecake factory. Girl, that's what you add on. You add on
• 26:00
  the outfit for the cheesecake factory. Aria. I actually looked up the restaurant.
• 26:06
  You weren't even dressed for that restaurant. Number two, Number four,
• 26:12
  number five, You could have done something a little better with your hair.
• 26:18
  I'm not saying, you know, I don't. I don't drag and put
• 26:22
  down people because I wear breads. I love them. But you want to
• 26:26
  look presentable for a first date. You didn't look presentable. You looked like
• 26:33
  you was ready to go to Bar fifty fifteen here in Houston for brunch.
• 26:38
  I'm just gonna keep it a buck with y'all. Y'all know I get on
• 26:41
  him and when I do my shows, y'all know I don't sugarcoat. Oh,
• 26:45
  y'all, my son is watching. Hey, my big ball. Oh,
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  I'm sorry, son, I won't embarrass you. Y'all know that's my
• 26:53
  baby right there. Y'all know that's my heart. Y'all know that yo man
• 26:56
  right there got my heart. I promise you, y'all know that young man
• 27:00
  right that got my heart. Okay, Bell, I'm sorry. I'm sorry,
• 27:03
  Ja Cory. I promise I'm not gonnambarrass you anymore. Y'all know my
• 27:07
  son is everything. Oh hey, my baby, Hey, Sity, I
• 27:14
  missed you. That's my girl, baby, that's my old age ten girl,
• 27:18
  My Ohio girl, she says, I'm finally catching you on Live Again.
• 27:23
  Girl. Tonight, we are talking about that first date list that went
• 27:27
  viral. That's what we're talking about tonight. And we talking about the cheesecake
• 27:33
  factory lady, Like, what are your thoughts on that? Like end that
• 27:37
  video because that's the video on this in entirety. Then if you notice when
• 27:42
  he said, you know what, I don't want to continue the date.
• 27:45
  I'm just gonna go ahead and take you home. Her whole attitude change.
• 27:49
  Oh well, you know, you're right maybe at that point, Yeah,
• 27:55
  I'm with the young man. I would have took you on too. So
• 28:00
  Raphaela says she had a badass attitude. Plus she wasn't all that cute for
• 28:04
  her to be acting like that. She a rat trying to be elegant.
• 28:08
  I can't stand you, I promise, I can't. I cannot, he
• 28:14
  says, she trash. Try to be high class baby. That's like the
• 28:18
  people that have champagne dreams before they ounce money. She tried it, She
• 28:23
  tried it. Sidney says she definitely did too much and wasn't enough for herself
• 28:29
  herself, right, But it was it was the fact that, first off,
• 28:34
  this is the first date. Why are you not talking to the person
• 28:38
  you're on the day with? Why are you on your phone? That I
• 28:41
  forgot to even address that. So let's back all the way up and talk
• 28:45
  about everything that is wrong that was wrong with that. First off, you're
• 28:49
  on the phone, that's first and foremost. Why are you not having a
• 28:55
  conversation with with with the with the guy, the man or woman you're on
• 28:59
  a day? Why are y'all not trying to get to know each other?
• 29:00
  Before y'all arrive at the restaurant. Why are you on your phone? That's
• 29:04
  an issue number one. That's red flag number one. That's why I got
• 29:08
  on Red tonight. Red flags number two. You lock his door when he
• 29:17
  gets out. He's doing everything a gentleman is supposed to do. He said,
• 29:19
  Hey, I'm gonna getut of gonna open the door for you. You
• 29:22
  lock the door and say, I'm not getting out the car. Your attitude,
• 29:30
  that's number two. Number three, it was the fact that you are
• 29:37
  late. Jules says, hey, bro and Sydney said the audacity that she
• 29:48
  bought off a team move right. Sydney say, acting like she's real relevant,
• 29:56
  Like girl, you are basic, you are ever the regular deglar female.
• 30:03
  Then it was I'm not getting out the car and the cheesecake factory that's
• 30:10
  a chain restaurant, Carl, stop it. That's what gives me is the
• 30:18
  sense of entitlement that people have these dates. First off, you had a
• 30:25
  respect a respectful gentleman, a man that said, hey, I understand you
• 30:29
  didn't want me to come up into your apartment. Cool. He wasn't tripping,
• 30:33
  okay, He said, hey, I want you to you know,
• 30:36
  put your arm on my arm. She said, Oh, no, we
• 30:37
  don't want to I don't want to do that on first date. Cool.
• 30:40
  He respected that, But then it was the fact that you turned around and
• 30:44
  said, you're supposed to nurture me, take care of me, protect me,
• 30:48
  and do on a first date. This is what you tell somebody that
• 30:53
  you're in a relationship with you when you two mutually decide and say, you
• 30:59
  know what I like where things going, Let's let's move, let's let's move
• 31:03
  towards a relationship. Those are the things that you tell people you're trying that
• 31:07
  you're trying to be in a relationship with, not on a first date.
• 31:11
  Y'all are still in the getting to know each other face. You're trying to
• 31:15
  know get to know him, he's trying to get to know you. But
• 31:18
  the fact that you I'm not going into I'm not going into the Cheesecake cock
• 31:26
  that's a chain restaurant. And then she was like, oh yeah, when
• 31:34
  you're courting that, that's what it was. Sidney said, I would have
• 31:38
  left her right in that car and would have First off, she she wouldn't
• 31:44
  even be been in a car with me because the moment I got there and
• 31:48
  and you gotta go back, because she did admit she was an hour leaked,
• 31:53
  but there was no form of communication. You didn't send him a text
• 31:56
  or pick up the phone and say, hey, I just got in from
• 32:00
  work. I'm running a few minutes late. Wherever you have the reservation,
• 32:05
  you think you could push your back maybe fifteen thirty minutes. That that's what
• 32:09
  she should have done, because communication is everything. You didn't communicate with him,
• 32:15
  So that right there lets me know you really truly we're not interested in
• 32:19
  this guy. And maybe she was, but then it was after he said,
• 32:24
  you know what I have? You know I have rules. Maybe rules
• 32:28
  is not the proper word he should have been saying, but he said,
• 32:31
  hey, in other words, I have values too, and you didn't show
• 32:36
  me any respects. So guess what, I no longer want to continue the
• 32:38
  date with you. What's so hard about that? What I don't understand?
• 32:45
  Why is it okay for women to say I don't want to continue this with
• 32:50
  you, but then when men say, oh I don't want to do this,
• 32:53
  now you're all mad at the man. Now all of a sudden your
• 32:57
  tone changes. I am keep the same in it you had when he picked
• 33:00
  you up keep that same energy you had when he when y'all got to the
• 33:04
  cheesecake factory, you were like, oh my, like you were appalled.
• 33:07
  Oh he's really he's really taking me home. So you don't want to continue
• 33:10
  the date? Absolutely not. After you sat up here and you just completely
• 33:15
  embarrassed this man. You totally disrespected this man. I would have wanted to
• 33:21
  I would not have wanted to continue the date with you. I would have
• 33:24
  took you. He did exactly what he was supposed to do. Jules says
• 33:31
  her attitude was very funky, especially after making that man wait a damn hour.
• 33:36
  Baby, I would have put her out and pulled cleaning the fuck off
• 33:38
  while I burn it fru a babe, let me tell she never would have
• 33:45
  got in a car. How about that? You never would have got in
• 33:49
  a car if you made me wait an hour with no form of communication.
• 33:53
  Not one time did she say, well, hey, you know what,
• 33:57
  I just got home from work. I was not expecting the time to run
• 34:00
  over. Is there a way maybe you could push our reservation back another hour
• 34:05
  or so something? Shit never communicated, But you got in the car with
• 34:09
  the sense of entitlement, saying, oh he you know, take me here,
• 34:15
  take me no, ma'am. And then you said, look at me.
• 34:21
  So I look, and I was trying to see what are you talking
• 34:25
  about? You look average? And then your attitude makes you look even worse.
• 34:32
  Your attitude makes you look even worse. It made you look ugly.
• 34:37
  Even though you're a nice looking woman. Your attitude just make you made your
• 34:42
  looks completely went out the window because you completely looked ugly, sitting and saying
• 34:49
  he had too many benefits of the daltoo issue, right, he did?
• 34:54
  He he tried. Oh, so we can't compromise, because even though you
• 35:04
  didn't make it to the first restaurant where the initial reservation was at, he
• 35:08
  made a compromise and said, you know what, I'm still gonna continue on
• 35:12
  the date. Let's just I'll find another restaurant to take her to. So
• 35:15
  he compromised, and you still weren't satisfied. So I have a question.
• 35:23
  I have a question for y'all. Here's the question. Does it really matter
• 35:30
  where a man takes you on a first date? Does it really truly matter?
• 35:37
  Honestly, y'all, let me know because I'm gonna say this. When
• 35:40
  I first got with my fiance, our very first date, was Walmart.
• 35:46
  I was in town. I went to California for a wedding. My cousin
• 35:50
  got married. Now, mind you, me and Rafael, we had been
• 35:53
  talking on the phone for like six months before we had even met in person.
• 35:57
  Now we had been facetiming, but we had met what June of twenty
• 36:02
  twenty one, and we didn't see each other in person until like October,
• 36:07
  but we had been talking every day. Our very first date was Walmart and
• 36:15
  he cooked for me that night. When I came home from that wedding.
• 36:20
  He was like, I cook. He's like, I put some some ribs
• 36:22
  on the grill. I made some you know. Being he did it up
• 36:27
  for me, and he was nervous about it, but that was our Walmart.
• 36:32
  He held my hand everything, he pushed the basket. And what really
• 36:37
  got me with him was the fact that I'm so because I've been single,
• 36:44
  so it was I was used to carrying my own groceries. So when we
• 36:51
  got back to the house with the groceries, he said, uh uh,
• 36:54
  he's talking about you out of man. Now, you don't carry groceries.
• 36:59
  What got a man? That's what solidified it right there, I knew I
• 37:05
  had a man. I knew I had graduated from a boy to a man.
• 37:09
  So does it really matter where a man takes you on a first date?
• 37:14
  Honestly, I honestly, really truly want to know. So Sidney says,
• 37:21
  well, now we're not going to nowhere sexually explicit. Okay, I
• 37:24
  can respect it. That now that I could definitely respect. So my son
• 37:30
  says, I don't think the place where y'all go matters, But what does
• 37:34
  matter is if both of y'all had a good time. And I agree with
• 37:37
  you, son, I agree that. Let me say this, for me,
• 37:44
  I'm not a materialistic person, so the cheesecake factory would have been just
• 37:49
  fine for me. I mean, I don't really particularly care for their food.
• 37:52
  But if i'm the company is what matters is that you had a good
• 37:58
  time, Like my son just said, the fact that it both of y'all
• 38:01
  had a good time. I did pull up the list that went viral,
• 38:10
  So let's run down some of these places that women say they're not going on
• 38:16
  a first date. They say cheesecake factory. App Now, mind y'all,
• 38:23
  this is the list that went viral. Okay, this is the list where
• 38:28
  people said where women said, these are places I'm not going for a first
• 38:31
  date. Now, let me say this. I looked at the list,
• 38:39
  number seven, number twenty two, and let me back up. So number
• 38:52
  seven, number twenty, number twenty two, I'm not doing that with you.
• 39:00
  Number one, I'm not coming to your house. That's first and foremost.
• 39:02
  We have to go somewhere publicly where we're in the public eye. Okay,
• 39:07
  that's first and foremost. So I'm not coming to your house. So
• 39:10
  I can agree with number seven. Number twenty I can agree with as well.
• 39:17
  I'm not ready. If we're just now going on a first date.
• 39:21
  It's not time for me to meet your family because we don't even know if
• 39:22
  there's gonna be date number two. Okay, we don't even know if it's
• 39:27
  going to be a date number two. So I'm not going anywhere with you
• 39:30
  for a family function. Oh I'm sorry, I skipped over number twenty one
• 39:37
  moving night, you know what. Let me elaborate on that Netflix and Hulu,
• 39:45
  because that requires being at one of our houses, and I'm not comfortable
• 39:50
  with you being in my home and I don't feel comfortable being in your home.
• 39:54
  And then number twenty two, I'm not going anywhere that requires a long
• 39:59
  drive because I don't know where you're trying to take me. I don't know
• 40:00
  if you're trying to take me out to the woods. Baby, I don't
• 40:04
  know. I don't know what you're trying to do. Okay, So number
• 40:08
  twenty two definitely not. But number one, I'll go eat the Cheesecave Factory.
• 40:13
  I don't particularly care for that food, but if the company is good,
• 40:15
  i'll go. Not a problem. Hell, I'll even go to Applebet's
• 40:21
  Hell, we can get the two for twenty or two for twenty five,
• 40:23
  whatever it is, three for twenty five, bab, we can get that.
• 40:27
  I'll go to Chilis. I don't. I don't. I'm not particularly
• 40:31
  fond of Chipotle, but hey, to each his own. Now, Baby,
• 40:35
  I'll go tap some out of the guard and Baby, give me some
• 40:37
  of them breadsticks and some of that sadad to the movies. Absolutely, we
• 40:40
  can go to the movies. We sure can any fast food chain. Baby.
• 40:45
  You could take me to Chick fil ad. You can take me to
• 40:47
  McDonalds. Baby, give me some a ten piece chicken nugget with fries and
• 40:52
  a large y sea orange. Babe, give me that Buffalo wild wing.
• 40:58
  I don't really particularly cal for the wings. But we can go to Wingstock.
• 41:02
  We can go to Red Livestone. Baby, we can go to a
• 41:07
  buffet, but then again, red lobster, that's imitation seafood, that's not
• 41:10
  even real. But okay, we can do a buff faith. We can
• 41:14
  go to I High because I Baby, I get my big steak omlet.
• 41:16
  We can go to Denny's. I can get a grand slam. To the
• 41:21
  gym. Yeah, we ain't gonna a side workout. If you want to
• 41:23
  take me to church. Absolutely, let's go pray for me and I'm gonna
• 41:27
  pray for you. Starbucks, Yeah, coffee dates, Yeah, we can
• 41:31
  go because I like ice coffee, ice cream dates. Absolutely. Come on,
• 41:36
  Let's go down here to Marble Slab, or let's go to cold Stone,
• 41:39
  or let's go to Brewsters. We can definitely go because that's that's public,
• 41:45
  but it's also intimate. You'll get what I'm saying because I can sit
• 41:47
  down and we can really get to know each other. We can go bowling.
• 41:52
  Even though I don't know how to bowl. I bowl with two hands,
• 41:54
  we can still go. I'm kind of stuck in between nightclubs because I
• 42:01
  don't do clubs. But depends on what club we're going to. I'll make
• 42:09
  an exception. A hookah bar. We can go. Even though I don't
• 42:15
  smoke. We can get us some good drinks. They do have good food
• 42:19
  in their good vibe. We can go hang out. I'll go Number twenty
• 42:23
  six, a bar for just drinks. Yeah, we can do that,
• 42:27
  you know, even though I'm not a big drinker. You know, I
• 42:29
  may drink a glass of wine or maybe get out martini or something. I'm
• 42:32
  just socially. Absolutely, waffle House, Hell, yeah, we can go
• 42:37
  because I want that the steak bowl with the with the hash browns and the
• 42:40
  onions and the mushrooms and yeah, I'll eat a waffafs and a sports of
• 42:45
  it. Absolutely, especially if it's a Saints game. Absolutely, if it's
• 42:51
  a Saints game. Absolutely, any other team. No, I don't want
• 42:53
  to go. No, let me stop, but no, but seriously,
• 42:55
  we can go. So again, it's only four places on the list that
• 43:00
  I'm not going. Like I said, I'm not going to your house and
• 43:02
  you're not coming to mind and that's number seven and number twenty one, Number
• 43:07
  twenty I don't want to meet your family. Number twenty two, we're not
• 43:12
  going somewhere that requires us to drive a long distance twenty thirty minutes, cool,
• 43:16
  anything forty five minutes, for an hour or longer. No, I'm
• 43:20
  not gonna be able to do it. Not gonna be able to do it
• 43:22
  unless I'm meeting you there now if you're coming to pick me up. No,
• 43:27
  we're not doing no long drive together out you know whatever. But that's
• 43:32
  ify on number twenty two. That's a stretch. But looking at this list,
• 43:42
  it's the entitlement. First off, be grateful that a man is coming
• 43:50
  to pick you up, because a lot of times men want to pick you
• 43:52
  up, they want to give you some meat and send you on your way.
• 43:54
  You lucky if you get a meal. Number two entitlement because to me,
• 44:02
  where a man takes you a man or a woman takes you on a
• 44:05
  first date doesn't determine how much they like you, which goes into my next
• 44:08
  question. So let's jump into some of the comments before we move on to
• 44:13
  the next question. Because I got some old lists. I want to pull
• 44:15
  up some of y'all. Women. I'm about to trigger y'all, but it's
• 44:21
  okay, you'll be all right. So we got some comments, So Sidney
• 44:27
  says, It really is the thought that he took to put together is what
• 44:30
  I look at absolutely, because Sidney, if we go back and you look
• 44:37
  at at what he said, this is where we were supposed to go,
• 44:43
  but you were late. You were late. And then I sat down in
• 44:50
  my car and I waited an hour for you, not five or ten minutes,
• 44:54
  but an hour. And he said, by the time the resu we
• 45:00
  were just leaving at the time of the reservation. So he came up with
• 45:06
  a plan B because Plan A didn't fall through. So I'm with you on
• 45:08
  assist. It was the thought, that's what counts. So Sidney says,
• 45:19
  yeah, now going to your house and you're not coming to mind absolutely,
• 45:22
  So on that list number twenty, yeah, you're not coming to my house
• 45:27
  and I'm not going to yours. Period. So Julie says, it's the
• 45:30
  fact that she went live trying to gain her five minutes of fame by trying
• 45:34
  to embarrass the man. I'm appalled at her level of entitlement. That's the
• 45:39
  statement. This is the comment right here. The fact that you were on
• 45:47
  the phone, you weren't even talking to him, you weren't even trying to
• 45:52
  get to know him. But first thing, you wanted to pick up your
• 45:55
  phone, and you were recording, and and you all this and and you're
• 46:00
  fooling what you have. That's fine, you know, we do that.
• 46:01
  That's what we women do. We do, you know, we play with
• 46:04
  our hair, do whatever. But then you try to embarrass the man,
• 46:07
  and then you're the one that end up getting embarrassed. You'll see how fast
• 46:13
  farmer works. You try to clown this man, but then it turned around
• 46:17
  backfiring on you. So my baby sister Javert Haypol, she says, I'm
• 46:25
  a simple person, and these little things are perfect when trying to just hang
• 46:30
  and be simple. That's the point I'm trying to make to me. Where
• 46:38
  a person takes you on a first date does not determine how they feel about
• 46:44
  you, which is my next question. Does where a man take you on
• 46:50
  a first date determine how much he really likes you? Honestly? Does that
• 46:59
  really tual? And where you take me on a first date, that doesn't
• 47:02
  equate how you feel about me. It's your conversation, it's your tenacity,
• 47:10
  it's your respect that determines how much you really like me. If you pick
• 47:20
  me up, let me tell y'all. So in Houston and Sydney. You
• 47:22
  know, in Houston, everyone goes and hangs out at the Transport Tower or
• 47:29
  it's a new name now, but it's over by the gallery a mall.
• 47:31
  It's a big waterfall where you can it's like a big field where the waterfall
• 47:35
  is. They have benches out there. People go out there and take pictures,
• 47:38
  you know, people take their dogs and stuff. It's really nice if
• 47:44
  you want to take me there. And then they have the little the man
• 47:46
  that comes around with the horse drawn carriage later in the evening and you could
• 47:51
  do the little carriage ride around the park, you know, real nice.
• 47:57
  I would be okay with that as a first thing. I would be okay
• 48:00
  with you telling me, hey, let's go meet Hey, meet me at
• 48:05
  the bookstore or something like that. I would be okay with that. I
• 48:08
  would be cool if you say, hey, let's go chill out at Emancipation
• 48:13
  Part. Let's go to Discovery Green. I would be okay with that.
• 48:21
  You want to go to the movies, it's a good movie out who let's
• 48:23
  go. I don't care. Where you'll take me doesn't equate to how you
• 48:29
  feel about me. And that's where some of you men and women based how
• 48:36
  people feel about you one on what they do for you. Really, that
• 48:44
  doesn't matter to me. It's how you respect me. It's how you speak
• 48:46
  to me. That's what matters to me. That's what equates to how you
• 48:52
  really feel about me or if you really truly like me. Are we vibing?
• 48:58
  You know, the conversations we been having maybe for a couple of weeks.
• 49:01
  Are we still able to have that still seeing that conversation in person?
• 49:07
  Because anybody could we could have We could vibe on the phone, But how
• 49:12
  do we vibe in person? That's what determines how a person really likes you,
• 49:17
  how a person, how much a person really likes you. How do
• 49:21
  y'all vibe when y'all are together? Because you can laugh and joke on the
• 49:24
  phone and really be sitting over there like this, rolling your eyes, shaking
• 49:30
  your head, But how do y'all, How do y'all feel in person?
• 49:35
  How are y'all in person? Does that same person make you smile? Does
• 49:42
  that same person give your butterflies instead of cockroaches? I don't feel like where
• 49:49
  a man takes you on a first date determines how much he really likes you.
• 49:53
  But then, how do y'all feel about this list? If we go
• 50:00
  back to this list, let me let me pull it right back up,
• 50:02
  let me jump into the comments store. So Sidney says, no, not
• 50:07
  really, there you're go William's Tower. That's what it's called, the Williams
• 50:10
  Tower. So Sidney says, too many people base things on money spent instead
• 50:15
  of time investing. I'm gonna leave this comment up for just the money because
• 50:22
  I need y'all to chew on this for just a moment. I need y'all
• 50:25
  to chew on this because what she just said just hit the big just bullseye,
• 50:35
  because Sydney, believe it or not. That's the next question. What
• 50:45
  is a reasonable amount a man should spend on a first day. Let me
• 50:53
  say this, I'm not expecting on a first day. I'm not expecting you
• 50:59
  to spend two, three, four, five, six hundred dollars on me.
• 51:00
  I'm not expecting that at all. Now I can't tell you what you
• 51:05
  do with your money, but just no, I'm not expecting that. If
• 51:09
  I were, you know, depending on where you go eat at. We
• 51:13
  do know that food and drink, sorry little expense. We we know this
• 51:19
  now, especially when you go into a black owned restaurant. We know you're
• 51:22
  gonna pay sixty dollars for a damn Long Island nice tea. So we know
• 51:29
  this. But I'm not expecting you to spend all this money on me on
• 51:32
  our first day. I don't I I don't want you to do all that
• 51:36
  for me. Save that money and let's do something. Lit'sten. Man.
• 51:42
  Let me tell you something we can go. If we're gonna go to the
• 51:45
  movies and you want to spend a let's go to the rooftop. We can
• 51:46
  go to the rooftop of theater, rooftop cinema. I'm sorry, we can
• 51:51
  go to the rooftop cinema, sit outside, chill, watch a movie,
• 51:55
  laugh, joke, whatever. But I'm not expecting a man that takes me
• 51:59
  on a on on our first date to spend full five six hundred seven,
• 52:02
  eight hundred thousand dollars. I'm not expecting that because one thing about me,
• 52:08
  Baby, I'm simple. I'm simple. I don't even celebrate my birthday.
• 52:14
  I don't like birthday cards, I don't want flowers. Just the fact that
• 52:19
  you thought about me is good enough for me. See, a lot of
• 52:22
  y'all are into that material stuff. Oh, I gotta have this for my
• 52:24
  birthday. I want this and this. I just let me tell you this.
• 52:27
  I just want to be alive for my birthday. How about that?
• 52:32
  I just want to be able to wake up tomorrow. How about that?
• 52:37
  Y'all be so concerned. Let me go back to Sydney comic because I need
• 52:42
  to pull that one back up. Because baby, let me tell you something,
• 52:45
  because Sydney, my sister jewels say that's the one. So let me
• 52:49
  go back to a comic because I want to post this back up right here.
• 52:53
  Too many people base things on money spend instead of time invested. So
• 52:58
  let me say this. I don't want to go all out for my birthday.
• 53:02
  I'm cool with a text. Hey, actually, happy birthday. I'm
• 53:05
  good with that. I don't know cards, no candy, no cake,
• 53:09
  No, I don't want none of that. They don't do anything for me.
• 53:14
  Just the fact that your thought about me enough to send me a text
• 53:19
  and say, hey, ash, happy birthday. I'm good with that.
• 53:22
  I'm appreciative of that. I don't care about the other stuff. See a
• 53:29
  lot of y'all won't won't, won't. Oh he gotta bring me flowers?
• 53:32
  He gotta do this. He gotta oh. Any restaurant he take me too
• 53:37
  is got to I don't care about that. I don't care about that because
• 53:43
  one thing about me, baby, I'm plain and simple and money don't impress
• 53:46
  me. I've dated men that had money. I've dated men that have been
• 53:52
  broke. I've dated mediocre men. I've dated superior men. I've dated subpart
• 53:58
  men. I don't like dudes that are Hollywood okay, And for those,
• 54:01
  let let me break it down, because yeah, I'm leaving your comment up
• 54:05
  here for just a moment, Sydney. I gotta leave your comment up here
• 54:07
  for just a moment because because that was the one one thing about me.
• 54:15
  I'm Ashley every day. Don't come in mee with the bells and whist.
• 54:20
  I don't like all of that. I don't like a Hollywood dude. And
• 54:22
  when I say a Hollywood dude, I don't like a flashy dude or a
• 54:27
  dude likes it has to be seen all the time. I don't like that.
• 54:31
  I don't like all of that. You gotta be social media famous.
• 54:37
  I don't like all of that. I don't like that we can go to
• 54:43
  Starbucks, we could go to Dutch Brothers, or wherever, a little coffee
• 54:47
  shop. We could meet at a little bookstore. There are so many things.
• 54:52
  And let me say this, there are so many places in Houston.
• 54:54
  I don't know where cities everybody resides in, but I live in Houston and
• 54:58
  Sydney, Sidney can attack. There's so many hidden jewels in Houston that we
• 55:04
  could go and hang out. We can go downtown and we could take pictures
• 55:07
  of the you know, the walls that they spray paint downtown. Hell,
• 55:12
  we could go to Discovery Green. We could go down to herm And Park
• 55:16
  where they have the concerts sometimes over the summer. We could do stuff like
• 55:20
  that where you don't have to spend no money. You don't you don't necessarily
• 55:23
  have to spend no money on me. If you decide you want to buy
• 55:28
  me some flowers or whatever and we go eat at that's cool. But I'm
• 55:32
  not expecting that on a first date because I'm still we're still in the face
• 55:38
  where we're still trying to get to know each other. I'm trying to you
• 55:42
  know, what are your likes, what are your dislikes. I'm still asking
• 55:45
  questions. This is a job in of you and I'm trying to determine do
• 55:50
  I want to go on date number two with you. I'm still I want
• 55:55
  to get to know you and you and you need to get to know me.
• 55:58
  You need to know my lights and dislikes. But again the question remains,
• 56:07
  what is a reasonable amount a man should spend on a first day?
• 56:14
  What do you think? I wonder if my son is still on here?
• 56:19
  So Jules says, I'm sorry, Sidney says, I'll go with making some
• 56:22
  sandwiches and Arizona add apart. Don't try and impress me with your coins that
• 56:28
  don't work. And that's what I'm talking about. And that's and you know,
• 56:32
  and and I got to get on men too, because some of you
• 56:36
  men, you lead with your money. So that's what you're gonna get in
• 56:40
  return, you're gonna get. You're gonna attract someone that they're all about money.
• 56:45
  Stop leading with your money, women, Stop having a sense of entitlement
• 56:51
  and feeling like a man should take you and spend eight hundred dollars on you
• 56:55
  on a first date. Girl. Please, you got people that are married
• 57:00
  and don't even spend that much on their wife's or husbands, So do you
• 57:05
  really think But again. You got men out here, Like I say,
• 57:07
  they lead with money, and that's what you're gonna get. Jule says,
• 57:14
  I'm a simple woman and can't be bought. Just keep it simple and thoughtful
• 57:20
  period. Juel says, My privacy is everything to me. So if you
• 57:25
  always want to be seen and you need to be in the mix, please
• 57:29
  stay away from me for real, for real. And that's and that's what
• 57:36
  we're seeing now in these new gens. It's like people no longer date,
• 57:42
  people no longer take the time to get to know each other. On a
• 57:46
  first date, you come in with these you would a list of expectations and
• 57:51
  say, Okay, he's gotta be this, this, this, this,
• 57:53
  this, this, this this this, and you don't even have those qualities.
• 57:59
  Let's talk about that. Let's wake that up for just a moment.
• 58:02
  Some of you women come in with a list. Okay, I'm a back
• 58:06
  up. Some of you women come in with a list of expectations. Do
• 58:10
  you even meet those expectations? And the reason I asked that is it because
• 58:17
  I found a cute little list. And this is what I mean. This
• 58:21
  is what's gonna trigger a lot of women. Well, let me say this,
• 58:24
  A lot of girls because there's a difference between a girl and a woman.
• 58:28
  Okay, so I'm gonna put this list up. Let me move this
• 58:32
  comment out the way. Let me see can let me make this big.
• 58:37
  Let me move this banner out the way because I want you to be able
• 58:39
  to see this list. Let me make this a little bigger. So a
• 58:46
  woman drops a list of things you should do for your man as a woman,
• 58:53
  and the first thing that she says is do you even meet the qualifasions
• 59:00
  of everything that you are requiring of a man? Hell? Somebody, Hello,
• 59:08
  somebody, let's talk about this. You keep saying, Oh, I
• 59:15
  need a man. He's gotta do this, he's gotta do that, he's
• 59:17
  gotta do this, he's gotta be that, he's gotta be this, he's
• 59:21
  gotta be that. You come in with a list of expectations on the first
• 59:23
  date. But the question remains is if you, guys, do pursue do
• 59:30
  decide to pursue a relationship, go further into a relationship. Can you be
• 59:36
  his safe place, his comfort zone and make yourself feel like home to him?
• 59:45
  Some of y'all can't even do number one? Hell, let alone number
• 59:51
  two? Can you listen Can you be understanding? Can you be patient?
• 59:59
  Well that eliminate it's a lot of y'all because a lot of y'all don't know
• 1:00:01
  how to listen. Yeah, I'm triggering a lot of women, a lot
• 1:00:06
  of girls. Let me say that I'm triggering a lot of girls. Three
• 1:00:10
  and four. Can you feed his soul? Number five? Can you love
• 1:00:17
  him unconditionally? Number six? Do you pray for him? Can you be
• 1:00:24
  his peace? Can you be his best friend? Do you know how to
• 1:00:28
  uplift, encourage and support and believe in him? Let me tell you some
• 1:00:31
  Number one through nine, Some of y'all need to just go ahead and have
• 1:00:36
  a seat. Period. I'm just gonna see it. Some of y'all really
• 1:00:38
  need to sit down and have a seat. Number ten, do you give
• 1:00:45
  forgiveness, grace? And can you be compassionate? Do you understand him?
• 1:00:51
  Can you give him his space? Do you cook for him? Do you
• 1:00:54
  feed him? Give him home cook meals? Because let me say this.
• 1:00:59
  Men go out in a word all day. They tackle the troubles of the
• 1:01:02
  world, and it's okay to fast food every now and again. But that
• 1:01:07
  man don't want to come home to McDonald's every day. That man don't want
• 1:01:09
  to come home the Popeyes every day. He don't want to come home to
• 1:01:14
  that every day. Can you respect him? All? Hell? Number fourteen
• 1:01:22
  that goes out of the window for a lot of y'all. Number fifteen be
• 1:01:28
  submissive? O what hell? That goes out the window for a lot of
• 1:01:30
  y'all too allowing him to lead. But at the same time, let me
• 1:01:35
  say this is the man able to lead? That's gonna be the next question,
• 1:01:43
  because fellas, we cannot be submissive to you. We can't allow you
• 1:01:46
  to lead if you don't know where you're going. So let me jump on
• 1:01:51
  that one real quick, because I don't want nobody to say, well if
• 1:01:53
  he need that, so I nipped it in the butt. Okay, do
• 1:01:59
  you add value to this man's life? Can you be nurturing to this man?
• 1:02:07
  Can you help him heal and to grow? But the next question is
• 1:02:15
  are you willing to heal and grow with him? But again, you women
• 1:02:19
  come in with a list of expectations of what you want men to do.
• 1:02:22
  This is what men want women to do. So don't be upset at the
• 1:02:28
  reciprocity. Okay, ladies and gentlemen, do not be upset at the reciprocity,
• 1:02:32
  because the same things that you de man women, the man men want
• 1:02:37
  that. Men want the same in return. Men want the same in return.
• 1:02:44
  Can you give him king treatment? We all walk around, Oh I
• 1:02:47
  want to be treated like a queen, or I'm this and this and this
• 1:02:51
  girl, when really you're a pauper, When really you that's what you are.
• 1:02:55
  You're a court jester. Do you have a spiritual connection? Can you
• 1:03:07
  help him become a better man? You'll say you want him to help you
• 1:03:09
  become a better woman. Can you help this? Can you help him become
• 1:03:13
  a better man? Again, men are asking for the same thing that women
• 1:03:19
  are asking for. It's not hard. It's not hard. Are you able
• 1:03:25
  to take care of yourself and not be so cold depending on a man?
• 1:03:37
  At number twenty three, never look at what a man can do for you
• 1:03:40
  financially, because here comes this other list that boyfriends are not responsible for.
• 1:03:52
  Some of you ladies are about to get upset about this, but again on
• 1:04:00
  equality, y'all want equality. Okay, let me move this out of the
• 1:04:03
  way real quick. Let me see if I can get the bottom of this
• 1:04:08
  hold. On number twenty four, it says, let me make this bigger
• 1:04:13
  y'all hold up, because I know y'all want to see the list. Let
• 1:04:15
  me make it a little bit bigger. So number twenty four says, can
• 1:04:18
  you take away his problems? Bring him balance? So let me elaborate for
• 1:04:27
  the ones that this may go over your head. Black men go out and
• 1:04:31
  they fight the world every day. The last thing he wants to come home
• 1:04:36
  and do is have a war in his house? Do you bring in balance?
• 1:04:44
  Which goes back to number one, number two, number seven, number
• 1:04:50
  eight, number nine, Hell, it goes back to one through twenty three.
• 1:05:00
  The number twenty five, baby, can you take his soul? And
• 1:05:03
  we don't mean in the physical. Okay, that may go over some people's
• 1:05:08
  heads. That may go over some women's heads. That may go over a
• 1:05:15
  lot of women's heads. Soul men want the sing you women come with a
• 1:05:25
  list and say, oh, we're not going here, we're not going there.
• 1:05:30
  But the question is are you the woman that can do that? Are
• 1:05:40
  you fit for that? That's the million dollar question. So Jule says,
• 1:05:48
  it's all about having a good time and that doesn't always cost money. I'm
• 1:05:53
  trying to tell you. Let me tell y'all, it's so many things that
• 1:06:00
  you could do for free and still have fun. So many things you could
• 1:06:05
  do and still have fun, Sydney, agree with your sisters. So my
• 1:06:15
  sister, Jules says, Girl, a lot of this new generation can't scramble
• 1:06:17
  a damn egg, but wanna man cater to them. Somebody tell Jesus Davonte
• 1:06:26
  Jackson Freeman Junior. Please tell them to come pick me up right now.
• 1:06:29
  Tell them I'm ready to just go and go to the upper room. Just
• 1:06:30
  tell them come on take me, she says. And my statement stands for
• 1:06:34
  some of these men. Also, it's time for some of these so called
• 1:06:38
  adults to start adulting. Sydney and jul I, Baby, let me take
• 1:06:48
  y'all these some real women right here, because Baby, what they've been saying
• 1:06:59
  has been accurate, very accurate. Hey, big brother, Hey not that
• 1:07:06
  Pete. That's my big brother in the house. Shout out to him.
• 1:07:10
  Good to see you, my baby, Sidney says. You know, I'd
• 1:07:15
  rather put something together with no money so I can see how you're really working.
• 1:07:18
  That y'all better be Look, I can't play no church music on here,
• 1:07:25
  because baby, that definitely let me tell you these last three, four,
• 1:07:28
  five, six comments, Baby, we need definitely need a praise break
• 1:07:30
  on that. We definitely need a praise break on that, because right here,
• 1:07:38
  are you the same person without that money. I'd rather put something together
• 1:07:44
  with no money so I can see how you're really working. Because see,
• 1:07:50
  I need to see past your representative because a lot of people don't understand.
• 1:07:54
  When you first meet people, you always meet the representative. Okay, you
• 1:07:57
  always meet the representative. Some people are that way from the beginning. Some
• 1:08:00
  people change further on or down down the rope. Absolutely good to see you
• 1:08:06
  too, Petty Pettit, Pettit Pettit or Pettit petty nutted Petty that's your new
• 1:08:13
  name, nutting petty. But that's an issue that I have, see Juel
• 1:08:23
  Sidney Jewel say, yes, that's what I'm talking about, Sidney, That's
• 1:08:27
  what I'm talking about. Is I don't understand is let me get back to
• 1:08:31
  the question. I just don't understand. Does where a man take you on
• 1:08:36
  a first date to determine how much he really likes you? No? Does
• 1:08:43
  a what is the reason than moun that a man should spend on you?
• 1:08:46
  Again, I do not want you taken me to know if you feel like
• 1:08:51
  you want to spend five, six, seven, eight, nine hundred dollars
• 1:08:54
  or a thousand dollars baby. If that's what you want to do, God
• 1:08:56
  bless you. But do not think that that's what I'm expecting you spend.
• 1:09:00
  I'm good with you. Buy me a ten piece of chicken mcnugga mala McDonald's
• 1:09:03
  baby with a high s enterns. Do you and me what sweeten saddle saus
• 1:09:08
  I'm good with that. But in response to that list that these ladies came
• 1:09:15
  out with, I see some men of responded. I see men of responded,
• 1:09:25
  and they say these are women men should not take on a date.
• 1:09:31
  Uh oh, this is gonna eliminate a lot of you women, single mothers,
• 1:09:40
  women with a lot of tattoos, women who dress provocatively, sex workers.
• 1:09:48
  In other words, if you have only fans, Instagram models, bottle
• 1:09:53
  girls as escorts. I don't know how true this list is, but I
• 1:09:59
  think men were poking fun at women. Since you women have all this laundry
• 1:10:03
  list of expectations of restaurants you're not gonna go eat at, So men say,
• 1:10:08
  okay, we're gonna do you one better. Women with a large social
• 1:10:15
  media following, women with purple hair, women with promiscuous friends, women who
• 1:10:19
  travel alone regularly, women that drink a lot, women with our fathers,
• 1:10:25
  women who party every weekend, women previously married, plus sized, unhealthy women,
• 1:10:31
  women on dating apps or divorced seats. Again, men were poking fun
• 1:10:38
  at women. So I don't want women. I don't want women to say,
• 1:10:41
  oh whatever, y'all get with your gilts, You get with your guilt.
• 1:10:50
  This was men poking fun at women. This is this is okay,
• 1:10:55
  Well, they say you don't want to go eat it. Let me pull
• 1:10:57
  the list back up. All right, you say you don't want eat at
• 1:11:00
  the cheesecake factory. You say you don't want to go to Applebee's, you
• 1:11:02
  say you don't want to go to bowling. So men say, okay,
• 1:11:06
  well, if this is these are the places that you don't want to go,
• 1:11:11
  then these are the type of women we're not gonna take on dates.
• 1:11:13
  Then now how you love that. You'll see how fast parma comes back.
• 1:11:21
  You'll see how that didn't. You'll see how that is. So let's jump
• 1:11:30
  back into some of the comments. So none in Peace says you can go
• 1:11:34
  to museums, botanical gardens, the beach, et cetera. Right, and
• 1:11:41
  I listed like, Okay, So being for Louisiana, living in Houston,
• 1:11:45
  I've been to LA. There are so many things. Let me like I
• 1:11:48
  told them. My very first day with Big Daddy was to Walmart. That
• 1:11:53
  was our first ad Walmart. Mm hmm, that was our first date.
• 1:12:01
  I'm simple, Sidney says, my time is priceless. Therefore, let me
• 1:12:08
  see your efforts match that being goal. Now that's a woman. Let me
• 1:12:14
  tell you something about my Let me tell you something bout my social Sidney,
• 1:12:17
  y'all not playing with no rookie baby. Y'all are playing with a grown woman,
• 1:12:19
  a full grown woman, a woman that has played the game and has
• 1:12:24
  been played in the game. But everything that her and Juli and everybody is
• 1:12:30
  saying in the comments, this is what we mean. So my sister says,
• 1:12:38
  girl, messing with you out and taped the wrong side of this.
• 1:12:40
  Damn tall See I'm sorry, it's says I do apologize. Sidney says,
• 1:12:46
  yes, ma'am. And this doesn't just and let me see this. This
• 1:12:53
  goes for heterosexual relationships, men and men, and men relationship ships women and
• 1:13:00
  women. This applies all the way across the board. Okay, this applies
• 1:13:04
  all the way across the board. So again to poke fun at the women.
• 1:13:12
  Again, men say, these are things that we're not gonna be responsible
• 1:13:17
  for. Let me make this a little bigger so y'all can see the list.
• 1:13:23
  So men say, we're not paying bills, we're not paying rent.
• 1:13:27
  We're not getting your hair done, we're not getting your nails done. We're
• 1:13:30
  not buying bags, we're not buying purses, no jewelry, we're not taking
• 1:13:33
  we're not spending giving your money to go on vacation. We're not paying for
• 1:13:36
  plastics. Certain now that's that's the one took me out. Plastic surgery.
• 1:13:42
  We're not paying for pills. We're not paying we're not buying food for another
• 1:13:45
  man's kid, because y'all remember the video that went viral the lady that went
• 1:13:49
  on a date with the man and said, oh, well you need to
• 1:13:51
  buy food so I could take home to my children. It be the audacity
• 1:13:59
  for me, y'all. That's what it is for me. So again,
• 1:14:04
  you ladies come out with a laundry list of expectations. But do you even
• 1:14:10
  qualify. Let me take this off, let me move this out the way,
• 1:14:15
  But do you even qualify do you even meet the qualifications to ask for
• 1:14:24
  what you're asking for? Can you give that to that man? In return,
• 1:14:30
  Sidney says, you know, I didn't been on both sides, so
• 1:14:31
  it really does go for both, right. I don't care if you're a
• 1:14:35
  woman that dates women. I don't care if you're a man that dates men.
• 1:14:39
  If you like I say, this goes for everybody. This is not
• 1:14:45
  just for men and women that you know had a sexual relationship. It just
• 1:14:47
  it doesn't just go apply to y'all. But the question still remains. Women.
• 1:14:58
  You come out with an expectator, the list of expectations that you want
• 1:15:00
  a man to do abcdefg hijk elemental p for you. But hell you can't.
• 1:15:08
  You don't even fit the qualifications for a You don't even know how to
• 1:15:12
  listen, You don't know how to be quiet. The thing about it,
• 1:15:20
  In this day and age, dating is literally gone out the window. I
• 1:15:25
  don't even think people date anymore. I think people just meet on social media
• 1:15:29
  and link up, and then they married in six months, and then in
• 1:15:33
  a year y'all are divorced to separate. Y'all are separated head and already headed
• 1:15:39
  for divorce. So I'm gonna say this. I don't think where you take
• 1:15:45
  me on a first date determines how much you really like me. I don't
• 1:15:50
  believe in it. But again, to each his own, to each your
• 1:15:55
  zone. I'm not never telling a woman or a man to settle, because
• 1:15:59
  you know, you know, you have to know your work. But at
• 1:16:02
  the end of the money I mean, I'm so sorry, at the end
• 1:16:04
  of the day, what does money really equate for? What is it really
• 1:16:13
  aquay for? You see people, you see these, you see every regular
• 1:16:19
  degular people that are posting pictures and oh he took me the Oh he took
• 1:16:25
  me here, Oh he took me there and really probably be low Ki getting
• 1:16:28
  beat up in the background. Oh big deal. He took you to Phil
• 1:16:38
  and Derek's, but then he attempted to sexually assault you on the first date.
• 1:16:50
  I'm not saying to lord your expectations. I'm not saying that at all.
• 1:16:56
  But some of you ladies need to be realistic out hearing some of you
• 1:16:59
  men need to be real realistic too. Some of your men stop leading with
• 1:17:01
  your money. Stop getting on social media bragging oh I got this and this
• 1:17:08
  and this, because guess what, that's all You're gonna attract. You're gonna
• 1:17:14
  attract those women that all they want is your money and then after they drain
• 1:17:19
  your dry, Now you're mad. Well, that's what you let that's what
• 1:17:23
  you let off with, that's what you're started with. So how are you
• 1:17:25
  mad? So how are you mad? I always say, never start something
• 1:17:33
  you cannot keep up, Never start something you cannot maintain. But you women,
• 1:17:42
  in your sense of entitlement, you need to umble yourself. Why do
• 1:17:47
  y'all need to umble yourself? You're rid of? Truly? Do right?
• 1:17:55
  Sitting and say divorced and bitter. I'm telling you, I'm telling you,
• 1:18:00
  But we see this all the time. So here's another video where you have
• 1:18:08
  people that are discussing first date deal breakers. Let's see what they have to
• 1:18:13
  see, and then let's jump back into the conversation. Well man, thank
• 1:18:16
  you for joining us for the second half hour of The Factor Uncensored. There's
• 1:18:19
  a list floating around the internet on first date ideas some women are rejecting,
• 1:18:26
  and it's pretty long. This includes any fast food chain, family functions,
• 1:18:31
  bowling, nightclubs, the gym, church, the movies, somewhere that requires
• 1:18:38
  a long drive, and your house. Well, what's left. The list
• 1:18:43
  has caused quite the debate about first date deal breakers. We found some single
• 1:18:47
  folks to talk about it, joining us now here on the factor on censored
• 1:18:51
  Keon Koka, Rina Mahea, Charie Sheppard, and Chase Stevez. Glad to
• 1:18:56
  have you all here on the factor on sensor. So you're irregular here.
• 1:19:00
  When you see this list and the places you cannot take someone on the first
• 1:19:04
  date, is it going too far? It hits the nail right on the
• 1:19:09
  head. Well, okay, I have two sides of this. Like the
• 1:19:12
  first half of the list, Okay, I can agree with there's some things
• 1:19:14
  that's kind of a why would you take someone on the first day to Chipotle?
• 1:19:16
  It's kind of a given. It's if a guy both hid the high
• 1:19:21
  end all of God. Okay, let me tell you one thing. Honestly,
• 1:19:25
  I don't see a problem with it. I feel like, if it's
• 1:19:27
  a first date, you're getting to know someone you don't really know, Like
• 1:19:30
  you kind of want to gauge it a certain way, but depending on you
• 1:19:32
  know, the girl's expectations, the guy's expectations. You guys should discuss that
• 1:19:36
  prior to then surprising someone with like, hey, we're going to Olive Garden.
• 1:19:41
  I wouldn't complain, but there are some women that are more particular.
• 1:19:44
  That's okay, But I think part of the list is very a little bit
• 1:19:47
  too particular. I think there's some things like I would go bowling on a
• 1:19:51
  first date. I would go to a bar to have some drinks on a
• 1:19:54
  first date. I don't think it has to be that serious, but some
• 1:19:57
  some women are mad. They're mad, all right, Cherisa, listening from
• 1:20:00
  you? This came from your instadt. I follow you on Instagram. Give
• 1:20:03
  us the name of your Instagram account. Hei'll talk Houston, Pilla Talk Houston.
• 1:20:08
  And I saw this list, I'm like, what the hell is this
• 1:20:10
  that Cherisa is putting up? Now? Do you believe in that list?
• 1:20:14
  Or are you just posting it? No, I don't believe in I was
• 1:20:17
  just posting it because I knew it would cause controversy. A lot of the
• 1:20:20
  things. I think they are out of ligne for that. I don't mind
• 1:20:26
  going to the Chipotle me because as long as like we're vibing and the chemistry
• 1:20:31
  is good and were laughing and everything, I don't think it's nothing wrong with,
• 1:20:33
  you know, with that, And if it's a first date, she
• 1:20:36
  reached. It could be a situation where you don't want to spend all that
• 1:20:40
  money on the first date because it may go nowhere. Right, So yeah,
• 1:20:44
  I believe it too. All right, Keon, let's hear from you
• 1:20:47
  your thoughts on this. I mean, in my opinion, this list is
• 1:20:50
  completely ridiculous. Like at this point, what's left? What do you want
• 1:20:56
  to go to Dubai for a first date? I don't even I don't know
• 1:20:59
  you, you know what I mean? So my thing is what's the alternative?
• 1:21:03
  Like some things that were just listed on there, like you can't go
• 1:21:06
  to church, we can't go get closer to God, Like where are we
• 1:21:12
  supposed to go? Right? That's my only think. So and again,
• 1:21:15
  like you said, people might be trying to be on a budgeted thing.
• 1:21:16
  And if we first meeting each other, if I can't get to know you
• 1:21:19
  for two hundred and fifty dollars or less, I don't need to know you,
• 1:21:24
  that's still kind of damn high. Exactly, I'm not fifty dollars.
• 1:21:29
  Yeah, come on, Chase has to fanish. You're currently in a relationship,
• 1:21:32
  But looking at this list, what are your thoughts about it? It's
• 1:21:36
  crazy It's like, how can I get to know a woman or a man
• 1:21:42
  if I want to date them? Like what am I supposed to? Where
• 1:21:45
  am I supposed to go? It's going to chapost? There's too much now,
• 1:21:48
  like that, the list, the gym, that's too much for me.
• 1:21:54
  Like we go in the sun and what we're gonna talk about, you
• 1:21:57
  know, like what we're gonna do? We swist, we sweat. I
• 1:22:00
  don't want to talk, you know. So it's crazy how people are like
• 1:22:04
  putting everything so high these days, their standing so high. But what do
• 1:22:09
  you give not to be able to be taken to those places? Right?
• 1:22:12
  You may look like a McDonald date. Hey bet, be happy with it.
• 1:22:18
  So Raina, your thoughts are there unreasonable now expectations for some people on
• 1:22:25
  these first dates? Yeah? I think there is unreasonable. But there are
• 1:22:29
  some women who they want to be depending on how the guy treats them on
• 1:22:33
  the first adit it will depend on if they see the man again. Because
• 1:22:35
  some women do want to be spoiled. They do want they're looking for something
• 1:22:40
  and a man. That depends on they want to go to Stake forty eight
• 1:22:43
  on the first date, or they want to go to a really nice place.
• 1:22:45
  They want to be proven to that you will spend a certain amount of
• 1:22:47
  money on them. But then some women are cool with just going out for
• 1:22:49
  a drink to talk to know each other. So I think you just have
• 1:22:53
  to know the women. But it's like some women are just tired of it
• 1:22:57
  that men are thinking that they can take these women to certain dates, to
• 1:23:00
  certain places that are on the list some of them. I feel like it
• 1:23:05
  just depends on the woman. Like if the woman's that particular, then maybe
• 1:23:09
  you don't need to see her. But if you know in yourself that you
• 1:23:12
  can take this woman out to buffalow Owlings and she'll be okay with that,
• 1:23:15
  then that's the girl for you. But I just I don't. I think
• 1:23:17
  it's just some of them are over the top. But there are expectations on
• 1:23:20
  a first date. You want to be treated very nicely and you reach We
• 1:23:24
  have seen this trend in the past where people, because they didn't know what
• 1:23:29
  the relationship will be down the road, they would have coffee dates. They
• 1:23:32
  meet each other for that first date at a Starbucks or something like. Is
• 1:23:36
  that unreasonable? No, that's not unreasonable. I think that's why it's called
• 1:23:40
  dating because you're collecting data, you're trying to find out and you know,
• 1:23:44
  talk and see if y'all are compatible. So you have some women who like
• 1:23:48
  the lavish dates and stuff like that, but then you have some men who
• 1:23:51
  are willing to pay for and they had no expense, you know, to
• 1:23:54
  take them on the date. So I think you just have to talk with
• 1:23:58
  each other and see where you you know, meet that. And once again
• 1:24:01
  we can find this crazy ass list on your Instagram account and give us your
• 1:24:06
  Instagram account against you. It's Pillotalk Houston Part two. All right, thank
• 1:24:11
  you, ma'am, and thank you guys for joining us here. I love
• 1:24:16
  watching the X Fact because baby Isaiah comes. He does some amazing things.
• 1:24:21
  So Sidney says, girl, please two particular. So let me say this.
• 1:24:30
  I'm with miss Shuri's the other young lady that spoke at the end.
• 1:24:35
  I agree with her. You have some women that want those lavish and extravagant
• 1:24:42
  first dates, and you have men that don't mind doing it. But again,
• 1:24:46
  to me, I don't care if you spend a thousand dollars on me.
• 1:24:51
  That doesn't mean that doesn't equate or determine how much you like me.
• 1:24:57
  I don't think it's a difference to me. I think I'm like the gentleman
• 1:25:02
  said, if I can't get to know you in two hundred and fifty dollars
• 1:25:05
  a less, then maybe you're not the one for me. Right. But
• 1:25:09
  there was also something very important that was said from all four of the people
• 1:25:14
  that were on the stage. Communication. You have to communicate. You're pretty
• 1:25:20
  much already know the type of person you're dealing with, but then again sometimes
• 1:25:25
  you don't because again, everyone has a representative, a baby, everyone has
• 1:25:28
  a facade, you know, but you could determine by a way the way
• 1:25:34
  a person speaks what type of person they are. I myself, I'm gonna
• 1:25:42
  say this. I'll do almost every last one of those things on that list,
• 1:25:46
  except for go to your house. And I disagree with the with the
• 1:25:53
  gentleman Chase, I disagree with him about the gym. You sitting in a
• 1:25:57
  sign and you can talk about anything. You working out at the gym,
• 1:26:01
  You gonna talk about anything. It's all about what you make out of it,
• 1:26:06
  Okay. It's all about creating a good a good atmosphere wherever you are.
• 1:26:13
  It's about creating a good vibe wherever you are. Some of y'all can't
• 1:26:17
  even hold a conversation. Help some of y'all. And I've dated quite a
• 1:26:21
  few men. Some of y'all that i've dated, I would have rather said
• 1:26:26
  and watched paint dry because a lot of y'all made zero sense, And that's
• 1:26:30
  why y'all never heard from me again. But I think what Miss Charisse said
• 1:26:41
  at the end communication, you gotta talk to that person, you gotta find
• 1:26:45
  out you do. And again two hundred and fifty dollars that that's cool,
• 1:26:56
  not a problem, Okay, But don't feel like I'm expecting you to spend
• 1:27:00
  that much money on me on our first date, because, like Miss Sheurie
• 1:27:03
  said, we're still getting to know each other. Like she said, we're
• 1:27:06
  collecting data. It's like a job interview. It's like a job interview.
• 1:27:12
  I'm trying to get to know you, you're trying to get to know me.
• 1:27:15
  I'm trying to see how you are. And then if I let me
• 1:27:17
  go back to Sydney's comment, Sidney say, yes, she is reasonable,
• 1:27:24
  So let me go back to her other comment. Hold on, let me
• 1:27:26
  scroll back up. She says, ah her comment where she says, I'd
• 1:27:34
  rather you put something together with no money, so I could see how you're
• 1:27:39
  really working that. Right there is the one. That right there is the
• 1:27:45
  one. So again, I'm not asking women to lower their expectations because you
• 1:27:50
  like what you like, you are what you are. That's cool, that's
• 1:27:54
  fine to each his own. Every woman is different. But I could say,
• 1:27:58
  for me, I don't want you to take me on a date,
• 1:28:02
  and and you're spending a thousand dollars on me on the for what. I'm
• 1:28:11
  still getting to know you. You're still getting to know me. We're still
• 1:28:15
  trying to figure out is there gonna be a second date? All right?
• 1:28:20
  Cool? So we decide it's gonna be date number two? All right?
• 1:28:24
  Cool? You still don't have to take me to no expensive restaurant. I'm
• 1:28:30
  cool with that. You want to go eat a Chillis because Chilli's got what
• 1:28:36
  three for twenty five something like that where you get your you get your little
• 1:28:40
  your appetizer, uh, a drink in your and your apple and your entree
• 1:28:45
  and a dessert or something like that. Baby, let me tell you something.
• 1:28:47
  I runs that three for twenty five up at Chillis. Judge your mom,
• 1:28:51
  Okay, Sidney says, you gotta communicate to eat even know if that
• 1:29:00
  person could comprehend facts, because conversation will tell you everything, and a lot
• 1:29:06
  of people fail, like conversations determine everything. That even determines even if y'all
• 1:29:15
  are gonna have a first date. But again, I don't go in on
• 1:29:23
  first dates expecting you to spend all this money on me. So let me
• 1:29:28
  ask this question. Let me ask this how do you feel about a first
• 1:29:32
  date and y'all pay for meals separate? How do y'all feel about that?
• 1:29:36
  I forgot to ask that question? How do y'all feel about that for a
• 1:29:39
  first date? How do you feel about that? Or who do you think
• 1:29:45
  should pay for the date? Does it depend on who extended the invitation to
• 1:29:53
  go on a date? Or should the man always pay when you go on
• 1:29:55
  a date for the first y'all? I forgot the post that question. I
• 1:30:01
  forgot the post that question. Like Sidney says, I'm with it, So
• 1:30:09
  again, how do y'all feel about you pay for your meal? I pay
• 1:30:13
  for my meal on the first date. Should a man always pay on the
• 1:30:15
  first date? How do y'all feel about a woman paying on a first date?
• 1:30:20
  Or how do y'all feel about determining whoever initiated the date should be the
• 1:30:28
  one to pay. How do y'all feel about that? If a woman asked
• 1:30:32
  a man out on a date, is she entitled to pay? Is the
• 1:30:36
  man always entitled to pay on a first date? My sister says, girl,
• 1:30:43
  I'm good on going Dutch. Facts, So Sidney says, I go
• 1:30:48
  in, like you said, with no expectations. I always go with the
• 1:30:51
  intentions of paying for my own and we've seen We've seen that happen. Women
• 1:31:00
  have ended up having to pay for their own meals. We've seen that.
• 1:31:04
  But I'm with everybody else. I'm cool with going Dutch. I'm cool with
• 1:31:10
  that. I'm not going in expecting you to pay for my meal because some
• 1:31:16
  of y'all may flip Some of these men flip out in the middle of a
• 1:31:19
  date and baby and would get up and leave and lead You're stuck with the
• 1:31:23
  bill. I I I'm only paying for what I ate, So let's go
• 1:31:25
  and separate this bill. You know That's how I look at But again,
• 1:31:32
  that needs to be determined prior to the date. Communication is heap going back
• 1:31:41
  to the lady the cheesecake factory lady and I forgot to post her response because
• 1:31:45
  she did respond, because she did receive a lot of backlash for the video.
• 1:31:49
  And let me just say this, she did that and said a whole
• 1:31:54
  bunch of nothing. Okay, it was a waste of time. Like,
• 1:31:57
  girl, you could have saved that. So another Pece says, Mom always
• 1:32:01
  Mom's always said is the way you begin spending money on a woman is the
• 1:32:04
  way that you have to continue. So pick the woman you won't wisely.
• 1:32:09
  I said that early year. You just reaffirmed everything that I just say,
• 1:32:15
  Like you literally like just reaffirmed that because I just said that. Because if
• 1:32:23
  that's how you're gonna start, you gotta keep that up. And if you
• 1:32:28
  can't keep it up, guess what. She out the dough. She's out
• 1:32:32
  the dough. Baby, she's not staying. She's leaving. Sydney says,
• 1:32:39
  because I need to. I need them to see how I treat myself.
• 1:32:42
  Absolutely, And that's that's you have the qualifications because you know you are okay
• 1:32:54
  with the reciprocity, you're okay with giving. As long as you're geting,
• 1:33:00
  you'll get what I'm saying. And it's some mutual thing. So I agree
• 1:33:04
  with you on that I definitely agree with you on that. If you can't,
• 1:33:09
  don't lead with what you're not, don't leave with something you're not willing
• 1:33:13
  to keep up. Period, don't start off that way. But again,
• 1:33:20
  I'm not telling you women these however you are baby, whatever your baby,
• 1:33:26
  you'll do you. But I'm only speaking for me and the other women that
• 1:33:29
  that that I surround myself with. We're women over here. We don't go
• 1:33:32
  into these dates with expectations. It is what it is. You know.
• 1:33:40
  At the end of the day. If I like you, you like me,
• 1:33:43
  and we hit it off on the first date, there could be date
• 1:33:45
  number two. But again, we're still in that face getting to know each
• 1:33:49
  other, so I'm not expecting you to. I don't come in with these
• 1:33:53
  expectations now as we progress, if we see that it's going towards a relationship
• 1:34:00
  and yet, but it's common sense and common courtesy. I won't respect and
• 1:34:04
  I won't honesty. Whether we're dating getting to know each other. That's what
• 1:34:10
  I want, and that's not too hard. I'm asking for simple stuff,
• 1:34:16
  simple and plain. I don't want you to go over the top for me
• 1:34:19
  because I'm not an over the top person. So Sidney says, I was
• 1:34:27
  raised. The way you treat yourself teaches others how to treat you. Bingo,
• 1:34:33
  man, y'all been hitting a night like. I'm so glad I had
• 1:34:38
  this common like y'all really been hitting the night like y'all really been hitting the
• 1:34:41
  nail on the head tonight with this, because again, this first date,
• 1:34:45
  y'all expectate. Man, I'm just y'all just do too much for a first
• 1:34:49
  date. It's just entirely too much for a first date. Again, I'm
• 1:34:54
  not telling you women or your men what to do on first dates, but
• 1:34:57
  I'm just telling you for me what I'm not going to through and what I
• 1:35:00
  and what I want and what I don't want respect communication. I'm asking.
• 1:35:10
  I'm not asking for much for a first date. But now if it gets
• 1:35:15
  to a point where hey, we're on day number three, number four,
• 1:35:17
  number ten, and we're deciding, hey, we want to go ahead and
• 1:35:20
  we want to progress this, we you know, we see ourselves maybe get
• 1:35:26
  heading into a relationship yet. But I'm gonna make sure that I can fulfill
• 1:35:32
  my woman to do this when it comes to this, Because if i'm if,
• 1:35:36
  I'm if I have expectations for you, I know you have expectations for
• 1:35:41
  me? Do you qualify for those? So a lot of you women need
• 1:35:48
  to ask yourself before you come out with a list of expectations. Are you
• 1:35:56
  yourself qualified? Hmm? A lot of that xes, a lot of y'all
• 1:36:05
  out on a cool Because again, baby, let me pull this list back
• 1:36:13
  up one more time because we give me a roll into the final thoughts of
• 1:36:15
  the night. I go back. Let me pull this back up this list
• 1:36:29
  first off again, number two eliminates a lot of y'allcause have of y'all don't
• 1:36:33
  know how to listen? Can you be his peace? Can you be his
• 1:36:43
  best friend? Give him space? So when you're come into a relationship with
• 1:36:50
  a list of expectations, you need to first ass yourself do you even meet
• 1:36:57
  the qualifications of everything that you're requiring of a man? And that's the million
• 1:37:05
  dollar question. I'm not asking y'all to answer that right now, but just
• 1:37:10
  think about it. Before you sit down and you have this list of expectations,
• 1:37:15
  you need the first ask yourself do you even meet the qualifications of everything
• 1:37:18
  that you're requiring of a man? And I'm gonna wrap it up with that
• 1:37:27
  one. A bed bead, some of y'all tickle me. I laugh said
• 1:37:33
  some of y'all. Some of y'all. I scroll through some of y'all posts,
• 1:37:36
  and I just be so tickled because some of y'all I know in real
• 1:37:40
  life, and be like, mm, girl, you don't even qualify.
• 1:37:43
  You take you need to take that list down because you don't even qualify.
• 1:37:46
  You don't even have the qualifications for what you're asking for. But I just
• 1:37:49
  mind my business and just keep on scrolling and let everyone live in their little
• 1:37:54
  fairy tale Lila, lad. That's all I do. That's all I do.
• 1:38:00
  So we're going into the final thoughts as we wrap up for the night.
• 1:38:02
  As we wrap up another beautiful episode, a black girl interrupted, So
• 1:38:11
  stop expecting things out of a man that you're not willing to give. I'm
• 1:38:18
  not saying your expectations shouldn't be there, but do your qualify for it.
• 1:38:24
  Stop equating how a person feels about you to monetary stop it. Stop saying,
• 1:38:33
  oh, he spent five hundred dollars on me, Oh he really likes
• 1:38:36
  me. Not really. I didn't think there was a price on that.
• 1:38:44
  I didn't believe that there was a price on respect, because respect calls zero
• 1:38:54
  but we need to do better men and women. Us women, we come
• 1:38:58
  out with some of these far fast, far fetched expectations that we really truly
• 1:39:01
  don't even qualify for. Men. Same with you, you're expect a lot
• 1:39:11
  of men have expectations too. Do you even qualify for that? Sir?
• 1:39:16
  Do you qualify for everything that you're asking for? Those are two questions that
• 1:39:21
  we need to ask ourselves, men and women. Do we have the qualifications?
• 1:39:33
  Do we? To me? I don't think it really matters where a
• 1:39:39
  man takes you on a first date, as long as it's not to his
• 1:39:42
  house, as it's not to my house, as long as I don't meet
• 1:39:46
  your I'm not meeting your family members and you not, and it's somewhere that
• 1:39:49
  doesn't require a long drive. But the rest of the list I can I
• 1:39:55
  could get with. I don't like I said, I don't really particularly care
• 1:39:57
  for Chapotle, but hey, I'll go, you know, But again,
• 1:40:01
  that needs to be established before the date on where you guys are gonna go
• 1:40:06
  eat at. That's first and foremost. Communication is everything. Communicate with the
• 1:40:13
  person you're trying to get to know. Some of y'all don't even know how
• 1:40:16
  to do that and again, and with regards to the cheesecake factory, lady
• 1:40:23
  girl, you tried it, you really tried it, and embarrass yourself.
• 1:40:31
  You really embarrass yourself, young lady. But hey again, to each his
• 1:40:34
  own that entie them in in twenty twenty three is real. I don't know
• 1:40:39
  what to say about this new generation. And that's it. So our upcoming
• 1:40:47
  episodes for next week, next Tuesday, I'm doing mental health again, but
• 1:40:55
  this time I'm creating a safe space for men, and I'm I'm also gonna
• 1:41:00
  address that young Gezy video that has now gone viral with him and the alone.
• 1:41:04
  There are some comments in there I want to address, but I'll see
• 1:41:11
  y'all next Tuesday, same time, same place. Don't forget like, share,
• 1:41:15
  subscribe, comment. You can follow Black Girl Interrupted. I'm on Facebook,
• 1:41:19
  Instagram, Twitter, y'all know where I'm at. You want to catch
• 1:41:23
  you all the live, you can catch me live on Facebook. You can
• 1:41:26
  catch me live on on YouTube. You want to catch any other replays and
• 1:41:30
  you like the audio anywhere you listen to streaming platforms. Y'all see I got
• 1:41:34
  someone in the background, Spotify, iTunes, Google Play. I'm on Google
• 1:41:39
  Uh, Google Music, I'm on Apple Music, I mean Apple Podcasts.
• 1:41:45
  I'm sorry, y'all, I am on Amazon Music. Uh, black Girl
• 1:41:49
  Interrupted. It's pretty much everywhere, you know. Uh. I'm really trying
• 1:41:54
  to make some moves and and I'm loving where it's going. Uh. But
• 1:41:58
  look out for some of the bigger things that are coming in twenty twenty four.
• 1:42:00
  I can't wait until I solidify those before I tell y'all. So on
• 1:42:04
  that note, Sittney and say, I love you, my girl. I
• 1:42:10
  love you too, my baby, I promise I do. I love you,
• 1:42:12
  I miss you. Thank y'all for supporting, Thank y'all for the beautiful
• 1:42:16
  interaction, thank you for all the gems that y'all drop tonight and showing what
• 1:42:23
  real women truly look like. And on that note, Happy Wednesday. It
• 1:42:28
  is hump Day. I hope everyone continues to stay safe, stay blessed,
• 1:42:32
  enjoy their weekend, baby, and be careful. Y'all. Is supposed to
• 1:42:36
  rain this weekend. We got some cool air coming through and for anyone that
• 1:42:41
  is going to the Honeyland Festival, y'all might want to look into that because
• 1:42:44
  it's been some hot pipe and tea surrounding that. About some acts that are
• 1:42:51
  not really truly going to be there, but I don't know, look it
• 1:42:55
  up, but I love y'all again. Happy Wednesday, God bless y'all.
• 1:42:58
  I pray for your mental I pray that next week when we reconvene for another
• 1:43:02
  episode, I pray that y'all are in a better mental space, and I
• 1:43:05
  pray that you're somewhat or halfway through your storm. But just nope, you're
• 1:43:11
  in your winning season and don't never give up. I love y'all, See
• 1:43:15
  you later.