Latest / Good Morning From The Chicken Coop! / Season 2 - Episode 187 - It’s not about the phone

Transcript

Season 2 - Episode 187 - It’s not about the phone · Good Morning From The Chicken Coop!

• 0:02
  Welcome to the Good Morning From the Chicken Coop Podcast with
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  Kim Johnson, your creative strategist and master mindset
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  coach. Filled with inspiration,
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  distinctions, perspectives, and possibilities, we help you to
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  cultivate a mindset that leads you to create the best version
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  of yourself you could ever imagine.
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  Join Kim every morning from one of her favorite happy places,
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  her chicken coop, along with all her chickens.
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  Hey everybody, good morning from the chicken coop.
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  So often we hear people tell us, put your phone down, be present
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  with me and it's great advice. I mean, I think I can tell you
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  my phone is with me all the time because of my job.
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  What I do, I record the podcast from the phone.
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  It's a tool for me. But when someone says to you,
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  you know, hey, put your phone down and be present with me.
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  What are they really saying to you?
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  They're they're asking for your attention.
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  It's not just about putting the phone down, It's about giving
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  them your attention and really looking at what do I need to do
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  in order to give this person my attention?
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  So best advice that I can give you on this is that everybody is
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  different. Everybody has different rules
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  for how they feel like they're being made.
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  Special and and that's really what they're asking for.
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  They're saying, hey, you need to pay attention to me so that I
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  feel special. I want to feel valued.
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  I want to feel as though you know as I am here in your life.
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  You are looking at me and you're saying I matter.
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  The one thing that I know for sure is that people want to
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  know. They matter.
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  They want to know that what they're doing in your life
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  matters. They want to know that they have
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  a a certain. Huge part of your life and
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  importance in your life. It is 1000% about getting that
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  piece and it's not about the phone.
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  It's about knowing it could be a book.
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  When I was a kid, my mother used to tell me constantly get your
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  nose out of that book because I was always reading and I was
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  reading because I love to read. But she took that.
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  As you know, I'm not paying attention because I'm reading or
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  I I'm working on. You know, I would sit there and
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  painting doing something else and she'd be like talking to me
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  and you're not paying attention to me.
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  It wasn't the IT wasn't the phone.
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  The phone, yes. Is has an addictive personality
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  to it, but the reality. Was I wasn't making her feel
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  valued. And when you can kind of pull
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  yourself back from the offense of someone calling you out on
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  something and you can actually look at it and say okay one
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  second here. The problem is, this person
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  doesn't think I am giving them attention or I'm not being
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  attentive to their needs, or I'm not making them feel as though
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  what they're talking about has any interest to me.
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  It it all comes back to, you know, am I seen?
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  Am I heard? Am I noticed?
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  And if there's one thing that I know for sure, it's that we all
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  want to be seen, we all want to be heard, we all want to be
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  noticed. And we all want to know we
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  matter. And if we don't feel that we
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  matter, we will do things that are.
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  Not necessarily. Things that we're proud of to
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  get that attention. And we might act out and we
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  might say things and we might do hurtful things because we just
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  feel completely and totally overwhelmed by the fact that I
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  don't know how to get your attention.
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  I don't know what else to do. I feel like crap and I just want
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  someone to pay attention to me. And that might be you and it
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  might be someone in your office and it might be a family member,
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  I mean. You know, even right down to the
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  dog, I one of my dogs has this very my big dog as a matter of
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  fact, has this habit of taking his his paw.
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  And he will actually hit me with it over and over if he thinks
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  I'm not paying attention to him because he wants attention and
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  he wants to know he has my attention.
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  So he'll start and he'll start tapping me, tapping me, tapping
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  me, tapping me. And it's annoying.
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  But guess what he gets, He gets me to break my pattern and he
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  shows me I'm not giving him the proper attention.
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  So today. This is all about understanding.
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  Short, sweet, right? To the point of knowing what
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  does this person need from me? It's not about the phone.
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  I don't need to lament this and keep going on.
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  But that's what you need to ask yourself.
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  So go do it. Remember, it's not about the
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  phone. It's about am I giving them what
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  they need? I hope you guys have a blessed
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  day and I will see you all tomorrow.
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  Bye.