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Alice in Slumberland | Alice in Wonderland Adventures | Stories for Kids · Dorktales Storytime | Stories for Kids Who Love Big Adventures

• 0:02
  Jonathan: Hello, Dork Squad.
• 0:03
  Jonathan: I'm Jonathan Cormur, and you're listening to Dork Tales the podcast for kids and their pop culture loving grown-ups.
• 0:14
  Theme Song: It's a beautiful day for a story, adventure, and glory, new friends and old ones too.
• 0:20
  Theme Song: It's an excellent day to get swept away in a tale, so let us regale you.
• 0:37
  Redge: Oh yes! And she did!
• 0:41
  Alice: I still can't believe how soft that duvet cover was!
• 0:45
  Redge: You're telling me, Alice.
• 0:46
  Redge: Oh, we really should have spent more time there.
• 0:50
  Redge: Maybe we should have dare I say it?
• 0:53
  Redge: Listen to her.
• 0:56
  Alice: Just that once.
• 1:02
  Jonathan: Redge! Oh, it's so good to see you.
• 1:05
  Jonathan: It's been three days and I was starting to get worried.
• 1:08
  Jonathan: I was wondering where you were.
• 1:10
  Redge: Oh, hello, Jonathan.
• 1:11
  Redge: I'm sorry I never told you where I was going, but I was late a very important date, and something so curious happened.
• 1:22
  Jonathan: Oh?
• 1:22
  Redge: Yes.
• 1:22
  Redge: I oh um before I dive in, this is my new friend Alice.
• 1:28
  Redge: Jonathan, Alice.
• 1:30
  Redge: Alice, Jonathan.
• 1:32
  Jonathan: Hello.
• 1:33
  Alice: Nice to meet ya.
• 1:35
  Redge: Now that we're all friends here, back to my tale.
• 1:37
  Redge: I was out for an evening jaunt three days ago when I spotted of incredible mushrooms by a tree.
• 1:44
  Redge: I really wanted to snag them.
• 1:46
  Redge: I had been looking for some new hovel seeding.
• 1:49
  Redge: Oh, Alice, did you see them?
• 1:52
  Redge: I wish you'd seen them.
• 1:54
  Alice: Hmm.
• 1:54
  Alice: Were they the kind that a caterpillar likes to sit on?
• 1:58
  Redge: Oh, absolutely.
• 2:02
  Jonathan: um Redge?
• 2:03
  Redge: Oh, right, apologies.
• 2:04
  Redge: Well, when I walked towards the tree, I tripped over a branch fell down a literal rabbit hole.
• 2:12
  Redge: That's where I met Alice.
• 2:14
  Redge: She had just tumbled down the same hole herself.
• 2:17
  Alice: I was following a curious white rabbit who leapt into the though.
• 2:21
  Alice: Not simply plummeting into an entirely new world like Redge he was distracted by mushrooms.
• 2:29
  Jonathan: Yeah, that sounds like him.
• 2:32
  Redge: Oh, I knew you two meeting each other would go this way.
• 2:35
  Redge: And I suppose I deserve that friendly ribbing.
• 2:39
  Redge: I'm glad you're becoming friends.
• 2:43
  Jonathan: Well, I am too.
• 2:44
  Jonathan: So what's the rest of the story?
• 2:46
  Jonathan: That can't be the only reason you two are so giggly.
• 2:50
  Redge: Oh, this is a doozy.
• 2:52
  Redge: You may want to grab a tree stump and sit down, mate.
• 2:56
  Redge: Alice, why don't you get into the main plot with the classic intro I told you about?
• 3:03
  Alice: So, once upon a time, Redge and I landed in a magical realm.
• 3:08
  Alice: I like to call it Wonderland.
• 3:12
  Redge: Or as I prefer.
• 3:13
  Redge: Slumberland.
• 3:20
  Jonathan: Um I'm not sure I follow the joke here.
• 3:24
  Redge: Oh, you will in time, my friend.
• 3:27
  Redge: This wacky and wild experience makes me chuckle.
• 3:31
  Redge: There we were, wandering around Wonderland, when we came upon giant chessboard, surrounded by red rose bushes.
• 3:42
  Alice: And three playing cards with faces, arms, and legs were painting the roses.
• 3:48
  Jonathan: Painting roses?
• 3:50
  Alice: That's right.
• 3:52
  Jonathan: Wait a second.
• 3:53
  Jonathan: Playing cards painting roses?
• 3:56
  Redge: Yes, these playing cards, two, five, and seven, belonged to a deck and were ruled by the brash, fiery, and bold Queen of
• 4:09
  Alice: And the Queen of Hearts loves games.
• 4:12
  Redge: Loves winning games.
• 4:15
  Alice: And, true to her suit, loves the color red.
• 4:19
  Alice: So two, five, and seven planted a new rosebush in the But unfortunately for them, when it bloomed, the roses were
• 4:30
  Jonathan: Oh, that can't be good.
• 4:32
  Redge: Too true.
• 4:32
  Redge: So you see, they were frantically trying to paint the red before the Queen arrived.
• 4:43
  Jonathan: Oh, wait! I remember a story about an angry Queen who liked red roses.
• 4:49
  Redge: You do?
• 4:50
  Jonathan: Yes.
• 4:51
  Alice: Okay.
• 4:51
  Alice: So then you remember the Queen would always yell.
• 4:56
  All: Off with their heads! Huh?
• 5:03
  Redge: Ewww no! What?
• 5:05
  Redge: Jonathan, is this another one of those human takes on a fantasy?
• 5:12
  Redge: I say, human stories can be so gruesome sometimes.
• 5:20
  Jonathan: Oh.
• 5:20
  Jonathan: Uh I don't know.
• 5:22
  Jonathan: Maybe.
• 5:24
  Alice: Where Redge and I were, the Queen of Hearts always yelled.
• 5:29
  Queen of Hearts: Off to their beds!
• 5:32
  Jonathan: She did?
• 5:35
  Redge: That's what she said.
• 5:38
  Jonathan: So they'd take a nap instead?
• 5:41
  Alice: And nobody would lose their head.
• 5:44
  Redge: It means the cards were overtired, though.
• 5:46
  Redge: They felt like lead.
• 5:49
  Jonathan: Well, at least they weren't dead.
• 5:52
  Redge: Oh, enough rhyming.
• 5:52
  Redge: We're running out of timing.
• 5:54
  Redge: Alice, go on.
• 5:57
  Alice: All of the Queen's subjects were so tired of being sent to bed.
• 6:03
  Redge: They couldn't get through any of their work without the displeased Queen, forcing them to their rooms.
• 6:10
  Alice: The cards just wanted to enjoy their days until they were ready to rest.
• 6:16
  Jonathan: Hmm, I can see how the Queen's punishments were distressing the deck.
• 6:22
  Redge: Especially because the Queen was always finding new reasons to be upset.
• 6:26
  Redge: She simply didn't know how to let her subjects be happy, or even how to enjoy a moment herself.
• 6:36
  Alice: So when she showed up at the chessboard and noticed her cards
• 6:42
  Queen of Hearts: Why aren't these already red?
• 6:44
  Queen of Hearts: Send them off to their beds!
• 6:49
  Redge: And with bent edges, and while quietly weeping, mind you, the slowly trudged back to their homes, as if they were on time out.
• 7:01
  Playing Cards: Oh dear oh gosh.
• 7:04
  Alice: It was particularly unfair.
• 7:06
  Alice: They had been working so hard to keep her happy.
• 7:11
  Jonathan: Oh, I'll say.
• 7:12
  Jonathan: It's difficult to please someone who's looking for any reason to be cranky.
• 7:17
  Redge: Right?
• 7:17
  Redge: And the Queen was determined to have things her way.
• 7:21
  Redge: So when she noticed Alice and I on her playing field, she was to be upset again.
• 7:29
  Queen of Hearts: And who are these strangers that have come into my unannounced?
• 7:35
  Queen of Hearts: Off to your...
• 7:41
  Alice: But before she could finish that sentence, Redge came up with brilliant plan to show the Queen that she can't have her way the time and send subjects to slumber when they're not even
• 7:55
  Redge: Yes, I walked up to the Queen and said, Your glorious majesty, myself and young Alice here entertain you in a game of croquet?
• 8:08
  Jonathan: You play croquet?
• 8:11
  Redge: Of course.
• 8:11
  Redge: Sherlock taught me, and we meet once a month for a rousing game with his other squirrel friends.
• 8:18
  Redge: Keep up, Jonathan.
• 8:20
  Redge: And anyway, I don't play croquet.
• 8:24
  Redge: I LIVE croquet.
• 8:27
  Redge: I'm the ball.
• 8:32
  Jonathan: You're the p ball?
• 8:35
  Redge: Yes, keep up.
• 8:37
  Queen of Hearts: Hmm.
• 8:37
  Queen of Hearts: Croquet, you say.
• 8:41
  Alice: We could play all day.
• 8:44
  Redge: Let's get the game underway.
• 8:47
  Alice: Redge volunteered to be the croquet ball, and the Queen's cards bent at the middle with their hands and feet on the ground to the wickets.
• 8:55
  Alice: Or the arched hoops you try to get the ball through during the We used flamingos as mallets!
• 9:04
  Redge: And they spoke.
• 9:10
  Flamingo: For I will be the greatest mallet with the surest aim.
• 9:16
  Jonathan: Now, I've seen some things in Once Upon a Time.
• 9:20
  Jonathan: But this sounds sillier than most of them.
• 9:24
  Alice: That's Wonderland for ya.
• 9:26
  Redge: Yes, it was quite a sight to behold.
• 9:28
  Redge: We couldn't stop laughing.
• 9:31
  Redge: And every time the Queen would miss a shot or knock me into
• 9:43
  Queen of Hearts: Off to your beds!
• 9:47
  Alice: Hmm.
• 9:47
  Alice: The cards would sulk off with a groan until there were only a few left on the field.
• 9:53
  Alice: And the Queen realized she had nobody to be the wickets It was ridiculous.
• 10:01
  Playing Cards: And I am sad, card.
• 10:05
  Redge: By this point, the Queen of Hearts was fuming.
• 10:08
  Redge: So much so that her face was as red as her suit.
• 10:16
  Alice: You won't believe it!
• 10:18
  Redge: The flamingo that was her mallet sneezed.
• 10:31
  Alice: She missed hitting the Redge ball by a mile!
• 10:35
  Jonathan: Ha! Redge ball!
• 10:38
  Alice: We thought it was quite hilarious too.
• 10:40
  Alice: So we cracked up.
• 10:43
  Alice: And the flamingo flew off in a tizzy.
• 11:01
  Redge: Needless to say, the Queen was there on the croquet field, to blow a gasket, about to scream, Off to your beds, at that remained.
• 11:15
  Alice: But Redge stopped rolling around on the ground for a moment stood up.
• 11:20
  Redge: Your Majesty, are you planning to finish the croquet game
• 11:26
  Alice: Yes, for as you can see, there are no more wicket cards or mallets, and our ball is a hedgehog once again.
• 11:37
  Queen of Hearts: Oh, dear me!
• 11:39
  Alice: The Queen took a step back and realized that she no longer had large crowd to cheer her on, or a winning peg to knock the ball into.
• 11:48
  Alice: So then I said, Your Majesty, you look tired.
• 11:54
  Alice: Perhaps you should have sent yourself to bed and returned when could play with the team.
• 12:01
  Queen of Hearts: Well, I never really considered that.
• 12:09
  Alice: She saw that her poor sportsmanship and constant demands were really impacting everyone in her court.
• 12:17
  Alice: We just wanted her to take a moment to think about what it means to be a good team player.
• 12:24
  Redge: So I looked over to Alice.
• 12:26
  Alice: And I looked over at Redge.
• 12:28
  Redge: And we both looked over at the Queen.
• 12:32
  Alice: Your Majesty, might I make a suggestion?
• 12:37
  Queen of Hearts: No! Uh yes.
• 12:39
  Queen of Hearts: I suppose so.
• 12:43
  Alice: Perhaps, just perhaps, it's time you go off to your bed!
• 12:51
  Jonathan: Taking the time to learn about how you might be affecting especially people who are trying to be on your team.
• 12:58
  Jonathan: That's a great lesson to sleep on.
• 13:01
  Alice: Oh, she definitely learned a lesson in cooperation.
• 13:05
  Redge: We all learned a little lesson in teamwork that day.
• 13:10
  Alice: And took naps in the beds of the Queen's castle.
• 13:14
  Alice: They were so comfy.
• 13:18
  Redge: I was in the tea party themed room.
• 13:20
  Redge: There was a delightful door mouse sleeping in a teacup on my
• 13:26
  Alice: I was in the Cheshire room.
• 13:27
  Alice: There was a cat.
• 13:29
  Alice: Uh, sometimes.
• 13:30
  Alice: But sometimes he seemed to disappear out of thin air.
• 13:35
  Alice: Hmm, curiouser and curiouser.
• 13:41
  Jonathan: Wow!
• 13:43
  Redge: My duvet was very soft.
• 13:45
  Redge: I almost fell asleep immediately.
• 13:53
  Alice: But we could hear the Queen snores all throughout the halls.
• 13:57
  Alice: After the nap, the Queen promised us she'd find a better way working with others.
• 14:09
  Redge: And that's where I've been, Wonderland.
• 14:13
  Alice: Or Slumberland.
• 14:16
  Redge: Right.
• 14:16
  Redge: Oh goodness.
• 14:21
  Redge: Being a ball and a wise teacher is hard work.
• 14:27
  Redge: It's time for us to go.
• 14:35
  All: Off to our beds!
• 14:41
  Jonathan: This has been a Jon in Character production.
• 14:43
  Jonathan: Today's story was written by Amy Thompson and edited by Molly Murphy.
• 14:48
  Jonathan: Special thanks to Sabrina Glow from the award-winning Glow Sister voice acting team who performed Alice.
• 14:56
  Jonathan: All other characters were performed by Jonathan Cormur.
• 15:00
  Jonathan: Sound recording and production by Jermaine Hamilton at Studio Recordings.
• 15:05
  Jonathan: Reach out to us on Instagram or email us at at gmail.com.
• 15:11
  Jonathan: Find links in the show notes or go to Now, go be the hero of your own story, and we'll see you once upon a time.