Latest / I Do, Part 2 / Have You Got Game?

Transcript

Have You Got Game? · I Do, Part 2

• 0:17
  Speaker 1: Hey, everybody, welcome to I Do Part two. If you
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: got love right the first time around, this is not
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: the podcast for you. We are here for the folks
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: who didn't get it right the first time. And maybe
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: you're on your second, go around, third, go around, fourth,
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: whatever it may be. But this is the place and
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: we are trying to help you find love again and
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: maybe again. And I'm here and I can't and ladies,
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: I have to say it, Jonna Kramer and Jenny Garth,
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: I have. This has been an absolute pleasure. When we
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: launched this, we were going to all do this together
• 0:45
  Speaker 1: as hosts. I didn't think I'd get a chance to
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: be actually in the room as much with you as
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: I have. So this has been fun. So it was
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: good to be here in La with you all in
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: this room as we were about to go party tonight.
• 0:56
  Speaker 2: That's the plan.
• 0:58
  Speaker 3: That is the plan. Y very excited. This is so funny.
• 1:02
  Speaker 4: It was fun to be in the room though, because
• 1:04
  Speaker 4: a lot of times it's over zoom all these podcasts
• 1:06
  Speaker 4: that we do, so it's nice to actually give hugs
• 1:10
  Speaker 4: and the whole thing.
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: We are here now, we haven't We're not the only
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: one of the four of us here are sitting at
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: Mike's and the fourth person is the only one who
• 1:19
  Speaker 1: showed up dressed with the occasion. H he's one of
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: our celebrity.
• 1:24
  Speaker 3: She's a model. You know, she's always showing like ready
• 1:29
  Speaker 3: to go.
• 1:30
  Speaker 2: I would do.
• 1:31
  Speaker 3: Nothing less, truly, nothing less.
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: But she's been one of our celebrity mentors. How has
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: this experience been for you? You we chatted with you
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: in New York not too long ago for an episode
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: and that was a blast. But since then, how have
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: things been going?
• 1:44
  Speaker 5: It's been so incredible, Like this podcast couple with therapy
• 1:48
  Speaker 5: has been so unbelievably therapeutic, and I've changed so much
• 1:53
  Speaker 5: as a human. I just I think that my solo
• 1:56
  Speaker 5: was just so it was you know, I was I
• 2:00
  Speaker 5: deep into something that I probably wouldn't have thought about
• 2:04
  Speaker 5: or even had the courage to talk about, and manifesting
• 2:07
  Speaker 5: the man of my dreams, which was so great, and
• 2:09
  Speaker 5: writing a love letter to him.
• 2:11
  Speaker 6: Which was like, oh my god, I'm getting emotional.
• 2:13
  Speaker 5: It's been very very cathartic for me, and just it's
• 2:16
  Speaker 5: also just nice to be around a community where people
• 2:20
  Speaker 5: like understand like what I'm talking about and what I'm
• 2:23
  Speaker 5: going through that makes it even better for me.
• 2:25
  Speaker 6: So I've just been like, it's like a big hug.
• 2:27
  Speaker 4: Can I just ask a question because I just have
• 2:29
  Speaker 4: to Has anyone slid into your DMS?
• 2:32
  Speaker 6: Yes, yes, I've met a lot of really nice.
• 2:34
  Speaker 2: No, I mean like nice men.
• 2:37
  Speaker 3: Okay, yeah, so like good people.
• 2:39
  Speaker 6: It's like not like a sliding.
• 2:40
  Speaker 2: In anybody of interest.
• 2:43
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 2:44
  Speaker 5: Yes, I've met like two really nice guys who were great.
• 2:47
  Speaker 5: One is younger, one is like around my age, and
• 2:50
  Speaker 5: they've just been really That's also been something else that's
• 2:53
  Speaker 5: been different is that the way that I'm approaching dating
• 2:56
  Speaker 5: is so different than before. Before I would just be
• 2:58
  Speaker 5: like just you know, oh okay, he likes me, Okay,
• 3:01
  Speaker 5: all datum. But also I have two young kids and
• 3:04
  Speaker 5: a single parent. Like so like dating for me was
• 3:06
  Speaker 5: always a little bit like how am I going to
• 3:08
  Speaker 5: do this? I don't want to get involved. I don't
• 3:10
  Speaker 5: want to get I don't want to be emotionally available
• 3:12
  Speaker 5: to them because I don't know what, you know, what's
• 3:14
  Speaker 5: going to happen tomorrow, what are we going to be doing?
• 3:17
  Speaker 5: And so it's just nice to really be like more
• 3:20
  Speaker 5: settled and just like calmer and more relaxed.
• 3:23
  Speaker 6: Joy see more relaxed.
• 3:24
  Speaker 4: You take how do you are you beginning? Are you
• 3:29
  Speaker 4: trying to decide between the two?
• 3:30
  Speaker 6: Now, I'm not really trying to decide. I'm just open to.
• 3:35
  Speaker 2: Okay, it's more intentional, much more intentional.
• 3:40
  Speaker 6: It's great, and.
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: Tonight is going to be very intentional. We are out
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: together because of the iHeart jingle Ball place and part
• 3:47
  Speaker 1: of this, we have two two folks we've been helped
• 3:50
  Speaker 1: helping guide along on this podcast that reached out to us,
• 3:53
  Speaker 1: and they're going to be out here. You're going to
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: actually coach, teach, help Then tonight as they.
• 3:59
  Speaker 3: Go out, Wait, wait, what is she helping them with?
• 4:01
  Speaker 1: She's going to help them flirt?
• 4:04
  Speaker 2: Okay?
• 4:05
  Speaker 7: Done?
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: Really now you seemed confident. Are you a good flirt? Whoa?
• 4:12
  Speaker 2: No pause, no pause.
• 4:13
  Speaker 6: Zero pause, Like just yes, what makes you?
• 4:16
  Speaker 3: I was like, what makes you?
• 4:17
  Speaker 4: Yeah?
• 4:18
  Speaker 6: Just because I don't really flirt.
• 4:19
  Speaker 5: I'm just kind of chatty, lots of smiles, very engaging.
• 4:23
  Speaker 5: I asked a lot of questions, how are you a
• 4:26
  Speaker 5: great compliments?
• 4:28
  Speaker 2: Yeah?
• 4:28
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, okay, see I feel like I see I'm good.
• 4:31
  Speaker 4: I'm I'm a bad I think I'm a bad flirter
• 4:34
  Speaker 4: when I'm actually wanting to flirt with someone, and I
• 4:36
  Speaker 4: think I'm better for other people. So that's why I'm
• 4:40
  Speaker 4: excited to I like to help other people flirt when
• 4:43
  Speaker 4: it comes to me. Actually, Like I remember seeing this
• 4:45
  Speaker 4: one guy at a bar a couple years ago, and
• 4:47
  Speaker 4: my girlfriend's like, go talk to him. I was like,
• 4:49
  Speaker 4: absolutely not, I will not, I will.
• 4:51
  Speaker 3: And she's like no, let's go come on.
• 4:52
  Speaker 4: I'm like, I'm like, Sarah, please stop, stop, stop, stop, stop,
• 4:54
  Speaker 4: Sarah please. I ran down the stairs. I was like,
• 4:57
  Speaker 4: it was so uncomfortable, Like if he wants to talk
• 4:59
  Speaker 4: to me, he can come talk me. I just I
• 5:00
  Speaker 4: was so uncomfortable, couldn't do it.
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: Oh, how that story end?
• 5:05
  Speaker 4: She ran downstairs and my friend Sarah, my friend Sarah
• 5:08
  Speaker 4: went to go talk to him, and she's like he
• 5:09
  Speaker 4: had a girlfriend, and now was it was a story.
• 5:11
  Speaker 6: End of story.
• 5:12
  Speaker 3: Sorry, But I just think I'm a better wing woman
• 5:13
  Speaker 3: than ever for myself.
• 5:15
  Speaker 6: So this is that's why I'm going to be good
• 5:17
  Speaker 6: with that too, because I'm like that as well. I'm
• 5:19
  Speaker 6: good at like helping her friend.
• 5:21
  Speaker 3: You were you a good back in the day.
• 5:23
  Speaker 2: Oh I had some game, did you. Yes, I'm going
• 5:27
  Speaker 2: to tell you about him. But this episode is going
• 5:29
  Speaker 2: to be all about who has the game. We want
• 5:32
  Speaker 2: to hear about your game.
• 5:34
  Speaker 1: Yes, what you said, you were both of you all
• 5:38
  Speaker 1: very confidently said you have game. And this is what
• 5:40
  Speaker 1: this is about this particular episode. What is it for
• 5:43
  Speaker 1: you that you just said, Yep, I knew how to blurt.
• 5:46
  Speaker 1: I had game.
• 5:48
  Speaker 2: I just I'm confident in you know, I know how
• 5:52
  Speaker 2: to work it if I want off. I'm the kind
• 5:56
  Speaker 2: of person if I want something, I go get it.
• 5:58
  Speaker 2: And there's a lot out there that I don't want.
• 6:00
  Speaker 2: So when I do find something that I'm interested in, lookout.
• 6:06
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 6:07
  Speaker 1: What do you all say to women? Because there's so
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: much advice out there that's telling women you have to
• 6:11
  Speaker 1: do this or try this technique, and it almost seems
• 6:13
  Speaker 1: like you need to be something maybe even you're not,
• 6:15
  Speaker 1: or try to manipulate a situation in some way. That's
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: the way the advice often comes. Do some people need
• 6:21
  Speaker 1: that type of advice and structure and technique and all
• 6:25
  Speaker 1: these things. Do you need that?
• 6:26
  Speaker 5: I think I think it's I think a little advice,
• 6:29
  Speaker 5: But I also think that it's kind of like when
• 6:31
  Speaker 5: some it's like some people tell you what to do
• 6:33
  Speaker 5: and then you do the opposite. So instead of like,
• 6:36
  Speaker 5: you know, like really like listening to people, like you know,
• 6:38
  Speaker 5: tonight we're going to talk to our new friends, and
• 6:42
  Speaker 5: I want to I want to know what they're interested
• 6:44
  Speaker 5: in so that when we go out there, I can
• 6:46
  Speaker 5: be like, Okay, go smile this person. Or I think
• 6:48
  Speaker 5: when you when you get advice, sometimes you're like, oh
• 6:50
  Speaker 5: my god.
• 6:51
  Speaker 6: Am I doing it right? Am I doing it right?
• 6:52
  Speaker 6: You know that was an individual like it doesn't right
• 6:55
  Speaker 6: and wrong.
• 6:55
  Speaker 4: I don't feel like, yeah, yeah, I'm more of like
• 6:58
  Speaker 4: the let it happen. If it's meant to manifest together,
• 7:01
  Speaker 4: then it'll you will meet the person and just let
• 7:04
  Speaker 4: it happen.
• 7:05
  Speaker 1: It was not really gay in that respect. I'm with
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: you one hundred percent, but it seems like there's not
• 7:09
  Speaker 1: really game. I think a woman should just be confident.
• 7:12
  Speaker 6: And smile and be open.
• 7:16
  Speaker 4: I feel like that's so much easier said than done, though,
• 7:19
  Speaker 4: what the like, just be confident like I maybe that's
• 7:23
  Speaker 4: because I mean and now I feel like I'm more confident,
• 7:26
  Speaker 4: But back in like twenties and thirties, I was like
• 7:30
  Speaker 4: a mess because I was so not confident, and it's
• 7:33
  Speaker 4: it's so easy for somebody to be like, well, be confident. Well,
• 7:35
  Speaker 4: how can I be confident when I don't even know
• 7:37
  Speaker 4: who I am? Or I'm afraid this person's gonna hurt me,
• 7:40
  Speaker 4: or like you have all the stuff that you're still
• 7:42
  Speaker 4: trying to figure out as a human. So it's like,
• 7:44
  Speaker 4: I just feel like saying like, be confident is so
• 7:47
  Speaker 4: much easier said than done.
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: With your friend, Sarah Yeap, what then was the right move?
• 7:53
  Speaker 1: How do you let a guy know you're interesting?
• 7:54
  Speaker 4: Well, so I was confident. I was more confident than
• 7:57
  Speaker 4: even though I was divorced. But I also knew what
• 7:59
  Speaker 4: I wanted and I didn't want to meet him. I
• 8:01
  Speaker 4: personally did not want to meet a guy in a bar.
• 8:03
  Speaker 3: I just didn't.
• 8:04
  Speaker 4: I didn't think that was going to be where I
• 8:05
  Speaker 4: was going to meet my person. So I didn't want
• 8:06
  Speaker 4: to force the situation. So that's where and I didn't
• 8:10
  Speaker 4: want to force it, you know, I didn't want if
• 8:11
  Speaker 4: he was not coming over and we didn't have the
• 8:13
  Speaker 4: lockeye thing, like I'm not I don't know, I just
• 8:16
  Speaker 4: I was like, this feels too young for me to
• 8:18
  Speaker 4: be doing this game where my girlfriend's going over there
• 8:20
  Speaker 4: and talk to him. It just feels uncomfortable. If I
• 8:23
  Speaker 4: want to go talk to him, I'll go talk to him.
• 8:24
  Speaker 4: That's where I'm at now in my forties, right. But besides,
• 8:27
  Speaker 4: so now there's that confidence piece, but before you know,
• 8:30
  Speaker 4: I think it's and that's all I earned that through
• 8:33
  Speaker 4: the things that I've gone through.
• 8:34
  Speaker 1: You will both married now.
• 8:36
  Speaker 2: Yeah, talking me about flirting is a little weird for
• 8:38
  Speaker 2: me because I've been married for forever, like to someone, right,
• 8:42
  Speaker 2: I don't think there was a day I wasn't married
• 8:43
  Speaker 2: or pregnant or something. So flirting was a little weird
• 8:47
  Speaker 2: just talking about it. I'm like, I don't flirt anymore
• 8:49
  Speaker 2: unless it's with my husband, and I don't.
• 8:51
  Speaker 6: Really do that.
• 8:51
  Speaker 2: But I mean I probably should do more than that.
• 8:54
  Speaker 2: Maybe we should do an episode about that.
• 9:06
  Speaker 1: How do you let a guy know that you if
• 9:07
  Speaker 1: you can go back to those.
• 9:12
  Speaker 2: Eye contact, like you said, Kelly, a smile and a
• 9:17
  Speaker 2: friendly demeanor, and then you ignore them.
• 9:21
  Speaker 4: So I ignored my husband for like three weeks, and
• 9:24
  Speaker 4: I think that's the only reason why he was the
• 9:26
  Speaker 4: first man that I've like dated that I ignored for
• 9:31
  Speaker 4: because I honestly didn't. I forgot to reply back to
• 9:33
  Speaker 4: him because I didn't have WhatsApp, so like I didn't
• 9:35
  Speaker 4: know he was texting me, but I would be like, oh, yeah, sorry,
• 9:37
  Speaker 4: I forgot that I had this WhatsApp thing, you know,
• 9:39
  Speaker 4: And then three weeks later I would text him again,
• 9:41
  Speaker 4: oh sorry. But I think my lack of yeah communication
• 9:46
  Speaker 4: was actually how he we hoped me, like how I
• 9:50
  Speaker 4: helped him.
• 9:50
  Speaker 2: Or whatever you were playing the game without.
• 9:53
  Speaker 3: I didn't even know.
• 9:53
  Speaker 4: I had no idea because but I was also like, eh,
• 9:56
  Speaker 4: like he lives there, Like what what's the Like he
• 9:59
  Speaker 4: was like, and how is that even going to work anyways?
• 10:01
  Speaker 4: Like well, you know what I mean, like whatever, but
• 10:03
  Speaker 4: then you know obviously then you go into it. So
• 10:05
  Speaker 4: I think again, it's like you're I wasn't that available?
• 10:09
  Speaker 1: Is everyone here? You will seem to not, but everybody
• 10:11
  Speaker 1: agree with that that strategy, if you will that let
• 10:15
  Speaker 1: them chase a little bit.
• 10:16
  Speaker 2: I mean, yeah, what flirting techniques or just sure or
• 10:22
  Speaker 2: available women I did before, Yes, when.
• 10:26
  Speaker 3: You were go back in like your thirties forties.
• 10:29
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I was always certainly when I get over age
• 10:32
  Speaker 1: thirty thirty five forty, I mean we're just adults, Like
• 10:35
  Speaker 1: I'm a grown ass man. I have time to play
• 10:37
  Speaker 1: a game. If I'm interested, I will let you know,
• 10:40
  Speaker 1: gon toy. If I want to talk to you, I
• 10:41
  Speaker 1: will text you. You don't respond, okay, and that's fine.
• 10:44
  Speaker 1: I just don't. And I hate we keep saying game.
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: I know we say when we mentioned that, but I
• 10:49
  Speaker 1: don't like the idea of grown ass folks messing around
• 10:53
  Speaker 1: and playing around. We don't have time. I can't tell
• 10:56
  Speaker 1: you exactly what I want. You can tell me and
• 10:58
  Speaker 1: that's it. That's okay, right. So I don't like a
• 11:02
  Speaker 1: never was a fan of any kind of chase or
• 11:04
  Speaker 1: trying to do.
• 11:05
  Speaker 2: I think when I said ignore them, I was just
• 11:07
  Speaker 2: kind of joking because I'm with you, I've got a lot,
• 11:11
  Speaker 2: I've got a lot to do. If this is going
• 11:13
  Speaker 2: to work out, let's make it work. If it's not,
• 11:14
  Speaker 2: move on. Like you know, I don't have a lot
• 11:16
  Speaker 2: of time to waste. I think that people don't need
• 11:18
  Speaker 2: to waste their time on the wrong people.
• 11:20
  Speaker 5: I think also today in this era of social media,
• 11:22
  Speaker 5: like everyone's either on their phone or they're connecting with
• 11:26
  Speaker 5: someone you know through social media, and you know, people
• 11:30
  Speaker 5: are like Hi, I'm like what does that mean? Like,
• 11:33
  Speaker 5: how about do you want to go get a drink?
• 11:35
  Speaker 1: Hi?
• 11:35
  Speaker 5: Hi, okay, Hi, Like I'm not your pen pal, you
• 11:39
  Speaker 5: know what I mean. Like, so it's like if you're
• 11:40
  Speaker 5: going to I guess. Like texting with intention is also
• 11:42
  Speaker 5: a good part of like the game, like obviously, you know,
• 11:45
  Speaker 5: like we were talking about like smiling, be happy, but
• 11:48
  Speaker 5: also like a little distant, but then texting with intention
• 11:51
  Speaker 5: like making it happen and making a date because how
• 11:54
  Speaker 5: do you know what these people are like until you
• 11:56
  Speaker 5: meet them. Yeah, And it's just hard too for like
• 11:59
  Speaker 5: a lot of you know, women and men alike, you know,
• 12:01
  Speaker 5: in their forties and fifties. Like if you're on like
• 12:03
  Speaker 5: Rya or any of these things, like most of these
• 12:05
  Speaker 5: people like on Raya, they're like, Hi, I'm in Melbourne.
• 12:07
  Speaker 5: It's like that's nice for you, Like what do you
• 12:09
  Speaker 5: mean you're in Melbourne?
• 12:10
  Speaker 6: Like what does that mean?
• 12:11
  Speaker 2: That's geographically undesirable? Thank you?
• 12:17
  Speaker 4: Having said that, though I did meet my husband, he
• 12:19
  Speaker 4: was living in England, So I think you know a
• 12:25
  Speaker 4: little bit, you know, you got to like you open up, yeah,
• 12:28
  Speaker 4: so you know, hey, you make a way if it's
• 12:30
  Speaker 4: worth it, that's right, that's right.
• 12:32
  Speaker 2: Well, we talked before on another episode about the first
• 12:34
  Speaker 2: Date uniform. If you haven't listened to that episode, by
• 12:38
  Speaker 2: the way, you should. What do you think women should
• 12:39
  Speaker 2: wear when they're going out there and they're trying to
• 12:42
  Speaker 2: flirt with guys?
• 12:43
  Speaker 4: I personally always say less is more, don't do the
• 12:46
  Speaker 4: full hair and makeup thing. I every time I've gone
• 12:50
  Speaker 4: on a date, it's I do the minimal makeup because
• 12:52
  Speaker 4: I'm like, this is you're going to wake up with
• 12:54
  Speaker 4: even less than this, So putting on the full face
• 12:58
  Speaker 4: like I would never do this or anything like that
• 13:00
  Speaker 4: I have on right now. It's it's very because I
• 13:02
  Speaker 4: don't wear makeup. I hate wearing life no infe don't
• 13:05
  Speaker 4: get her exactly for racist who I am, and I don't.
• 13:09
  Speaker 4: Even when I met my husband, I didn't wear anything
• 13:11
  Speaker 4: like revealing like I had like on a sweater and
• 13:14
  Speaker 4: jeans and like a little boot and that was it.
• 13:17
  Speaker 3: It's like, this is what do you think, Kelly?
• 13:19
  Speaker 6: I mean, you're also dropped on gorgeous too, so.
• 13:21
  Speaker 2: Far that doesn't hurt.
• 13:24
  Speaker 6: I totally think that less is more.
• 13:26
  Speaker 5: Every single guy that's ever told me about like men
• 13:29
  Speaker 5: or now that because I've been talking to so many
• 13:30
  Speaker 5: people about like relationships there, they all see the same thing.
• 13:34
  Speaker 5: Jeans and a T shirt. Oh I saw when she
• 13:36
  Speaker 5: was in jeans and.
• 13:37
  Speaker 6: A T shirt. Oh, she looks so cute in a hoodie.
• 13:39
  Speaker 1: You know they guys, you tell us know what you're
• 13:42
  Speaker 1: saying is one hundred because that's I've always said that
• 13:45
  Speaker 1: if a woman can't put on jeans and a T shirt,
• 13:47
  Speaker 1: belly up to a bar, have a draft beer and
• 13:49
  Speaker 1: watch an SEC football game with me, we're probably not
• 13:51
  Speaker 1: gonna work out. And it's not just about what she's wearing,
• 13:53
  Speaker 1: but there's a confidence in a woman who can just
• 13:56
  Speaker 1: put that on and it's cool with like, hey, let's
• 13:58
  Speaker 1: do it. It's just yeah, it sends a sick look
• 14:00
  Speaker 1: some kind. And even though you all are saying like
• 14:02
  Speaker 1: you didn't like make up, you know, like, do you
• 14:04
  Speaker 1: all think generally that's the case though I think women
• 14:06
  Speaker 1: go full help with makeup and hair well.
• 14:10
  Speaker 4: But here's also the problem too, and this is I
• 14:12
  Speaker 4: talked to my ex husband about this because in the
• 14:14
  Speaker 4: dating world, like I'm like, how's you know, how's it going?
• 14:16
  Speaker 4: The women use too many filters. And I've actually stopped
• 14:19
  Speaker 4: doing filters because because my daughter, I'm like, I don't
• 14:22
  Speaker 4: want my daugh I'm like, why am I doing this
• 14:24
  Speaker 4: filter when this is not what my nose like looks like?
• 14:26
  Speaker 3: Or this is not what I look like. I wouldn't
• 14:28
  Speaker 3: want my daughter to do this.
• 14:28
  Speaker 4: So I've completely stopped doing filters on like the story things.
• 14:32
  Speaker 4: But he was saying, he's like women filter themselves so
• 14:35
  Speaker 4: much with their photos too, that when you meet them,
• 14:37
  Speaker 4: you're like, that is not what they look like. So
• 14:39
  Speaker 4: also like present who you are?
• 14:41
  Speaker 2: I think I do that too.
• 14:42
  Speaker 3: Do do they really do they do filter?
• 14:44
  Speaker 2: I heard from a lot of women friends. Oh, they
• 14:46
  Speaker 2: show up to dates and they don't look anything.
• 14:47
  Speaker 4: Like well, I think they lie. The only time I've
• 14:49
  Speaker 4: ever was like cause they lie about their height. But
• 14:51
  Speaker 4: besides that, like what, I don't know, men filter their faces.
• 14:57
  Speaker 5: You can tell it guys height by they're standing next
• 14:59
  Speaker 5: to us car kind.
• 15:00
  Speaker 2: Of look and you gauge it.
• 15:04
  Speaker 5: Was and guys always have like a picture with their car.
• 15:07
  Speaker 5: I was like, that is really good advice. Check that's amazing.
• 15:11
  Speaker 1: Is that the number one thing you will have found
• 15:13
  Speaker 1: that maybe that's the thing guys lie? But you still
• 15:14
  Speaker 1: about filters with the face or something, But is that
• 15:16
  Speaker 1: the thing guys will lie? About their height more than
• 15:18
  Speaker 1: anything on if you're online or I.
• 15:21
  Speaker 5: Think that they just think it's like that that whole
• 15:23
  Speaker 5: age of tall, dark and handsome is like what women
• 15:25
  Speaker 5: are looking for.
• 15:25
  Speaker 6: That's not true at all. I mean my ex husband was.
• 15:28
  Speaker 5: Short, great, curly hair like and French like. That's not tall,
• 15:34
  Speaker 5: dark and handsome. But it's just you know, you just
• 15:36
  Speaker 5: never know who you're gonna like or.
• 15:37
  Speaker 6: You're gonna ye know.
• 15:39
  Speaker 4: I'm trying to think with like the biggest lie. I mean,
• 15:42
  Speaker 4: I can think of a few, but like if.
• 15:44
  Speaker 2: They're wearing a ball cap in every picture, which is
• 15:51
  Speaker 2: totally fine.
• 15:52
  Speaker 3: I love we love four men.
• 15:54
  Speaker 2: Who doesn't? But I think you're we have a point
• 15:57
  Speaker 2: like natural, comfortable in your own skin. It's the right
• 16:00
  Speaker 2: message to put out to people.
• 16:02
  Speaker 5: Do not wear a sequence truss not you look beautiful.
• 16:08
  Speaker 2: You just said I like to be understated, And now.
• 16:16
  Speaker 4: It's h.
• 16:28
  Speaker 1: How do you know when a guy is interested in you?
• 16:31
  Speaker 1: Is it clear? Is it obvious from across the room?
• 16:35
  Speaker 1: Do you do? We have a difficult time you all
• 16:37
  Speaker 1: have found giving the right signals.
• 16:40
  Speaker 3: I think from or from like when you first meet.
• 16:43
  Speaker 1: Yeah, or before you even beat if you know that
• 16:46
  Speaker 1: person know you think that person interested in.
• 16:47
  Speaker 4: You, you're flirting in the I think it's definitely the
• 16:51
  Speaker 4: eye contact. You know how they if they approach you.
• 16:56
  Speaker 4: I think that's a tell tell, tell tale sign. But
• 16:59
  Speaker 4: I think moving forward from that, the biggest thing that
• 17:02
  Speaker 4: I learned from my dating was there was a guy
• 17:05
  Speaker 4: that I was kind of chasten a little bit and
• 17:07
  Speaker 4: he seemed to like me and all those things and
• 17:10
  Speaker 4: say he liked me and we would hung out, but
• 17:12
  Speaker 4: he you know, I felt like I was pursuing him
• 17:15
  Speaker 4: more than he was pursuing me. And when I kind
• 17:17
  Speaker 4: of stopped, I'm like, oh, I didn't really hear from him.
• 17:19
  Speaker 4: So I'm like, I think you will know like if
• 17:22
  Speaker 4: the guy, if the guy wants to do with you,
• 17:24
  Speaker 4: they're going to pursue you, and you shouldn't. I don't
• 17:26
  Speaker 4: think you should always be the pursuer because then you
• 17:29
  Speaker 4: realize that maybe that guy doesn't want to be with you.
• 17:31
  Speaker 1: So yeah, listen, it's it's okay to listen to somebody.
• 17:35
  Speaker 1: We will absolutely give you an answer without giving you an.
• 17:40
  Speaker 4: Answer exactly, but I wish you'd give us the answer.
• 17:42
  Speaker 4: That's the piece that's always frustrating. It's like Why can't
• 17:44
  Speaker 4: you just say you don't you like my company? When
• 17:46
  Speaker 4: you like my company, when you want my company, but
• 17:48
  Speaker 4: not like but you like. That's the part the guys
• 17:52
  Speaker 4: that you know drive me crazy. Maybe girls do it too,
• 17:54
  Speaker 4: I don't know, But Jenny, was it.
• 17:56
  Speaker 1: Always clear with you, like you could okay, I know
• 17:58
  Speaker 1: that guy is interested? Or were there mixed signals? Did
• 18:00
  Speaker 1: you find it confusing sometimes with the signals guys are giving.
• 18:03
  Speaker 2: Oh my god, let me think back. Did I I
• 18:08
  Speaker 2: feel like, you know, you just know there's that little
• 18:11
  Speaker 2: little spark, little tingle inside and you just know instinctively
• 18:15
  Speaker 2: that person's giving me some vibes. Yeah, yeah, let's see
• 18:20
  Speaker 2: what Let's see what that means and explore it if
• 18:22
  Speaker 2: you are into him.
• 18:23
  Speaker 4: Right.
• 18:24
  Speaker 5: So I have two daughters. They're twenty four and they're
• 18:26
  Speaker 5: twenty six, and they're always on my phone. I'm like,
• 18:28
  Speaker 5: what are you guys looking for? There's nothing in there
• 18:31
  Speaker 5: but there And they'll see like if when I'm texting
• 18:34
  Speaker 5: someone that I like and they're like, mom, oh my god,
• 18:36
  Speaker 5: it's just you're so much blue. Oh my god, you're
• 18:38
  Speaker 5: so much All you do is like blahbah blah blah
• 18:40
  Speaker 5: blahbah like just one text and then let them. But
• 18:43
  Speaker 5: I'm the kind of person that's like, hi, how are
• 18:45
  Speaker 5: you good?
• 18:47
  Speaker 6: Question? You know, I'm like I'm like no, no, no, no.
• 18:49
  Speaker 2: She's like oh my god.
• 18:50
  Speaker 6: It's just like he's like he's one and you're like.
• 18:52
  Speaker 2: Wait, wait, wait, So is there a technique to texting guys?
• 18:56
  Speaker 4: They say that you should be less blue than like
• 18:58
  Speaker 4: so yeah it should be. Then that's where like the
• 19:02
  Speaker 4: game thing comes with it. But yeah, they should. That
• 19:04
  Speaker 4: shows that.
• 19:05
  Speaker 3: It's more interest if there's more from them.
• 19:07
  Speaker 2: But that's confusing because my ex husband sends me paragraphs.
• 19:12
  Speaker 3: Well maybe he.
• 19:14
  Speaker 1: Don't do that.
• 19:16
  Speaker 2: I don't think that's the case.
• 19:17
  Speaker 5: But also, you know, some people are telling people are
• 19:21
  Speaker 5: good over the phone and some people are textures. So like,
• 19:24
  Speaker 5: you know, I would never like randomly FaceTime someone, but
• 19:27
  Speaker 5: some people like to do that or they like to
• 19:30
  Speaker 5: like be on the phone. I mean, I'm not a
• 19:31
  Speaker 5: I'm not a phone person just because in my work life,
• 19:34
  Speaker 5: like I'm always on the phone, so I'm not gonna
• 19:36
  Speaker 5: I'd rather be like, hey, I'm thinking of you, which
• 19:38
  Speaker 5: is my way of being nice. And some guys are like,
• 19:42
  Speaker 5: you don't even call me. I'm like, well, I'm kind
• 19:44
  Speaker 5: of on the phone, but I was trying to be
• 19:46
  Speaker 5: nice and so it's just like I feel like there's
• 19:49
  Speaker 5: like you can't really win. You kind of have to
• 19:51
  Speaker 5: like feel out the person and get a sense of
• 19:54
  Speaker 5: like where they are. But I guess over texting and
• 19:56
  Speaker 5: it's not good or over sharing is not good to
• 19:59
  Speaker 5: well over text But.
• 20:00
  Speaker 1: How do you do you do you monitor? Do you
• 20:02
  Speaker 1: find yourself editing your text? Like you're right there? Okay,
• 20:05
  Speaker 1: wait say that the right way? Is that the right emoji? Should?
• 20:08
  Speaker 2: I thank god they made that edit option. Now you can,
• 20:11
  Speaker 2: you can and you can undersend right right? Wait, Like
• 20:16
  Speaker 2: I love it.
• 20:16
  Speaker 5: I mean I like you exactly.
• 20:20
  Speaker 1: But you don't find yourself doing that. You don't trying.
• 20:22
  Speaker 5: I'm like, you know what if you if you don't
• 20:24
  Speaker 5: like me the way that I am, then you're never
• 20:26
  Speaker 5: gonna like me. I mean, like I'm not gonna like
• 20:28
  Speaker 5: start to like change things up and like so I'll
• 20:30
  Speaker 5: probably forget.
• 20:31
  Speaker 6: So.
• 20:32
  Speaker 2: So, say you've met someone and you're feeling the vibes, right,
• 20:36
  Speaker 2: what happens at the end of the night, Like do
• 20:38
  Speaker 2: you give him your digits?
• 20:40
  Speaker 6: Is that what they still say?
• 20:41
  Speaker 4: Now?
• 20:41
  Speaker 2: Do you give him your number or do you give
• 20:43
  Speaker 2: him your email addressed?
• 20:45
  Speaker 3: Or what?
• 20:45
  Speaker 2: How does that work? Because I you, guys, if I
• 20:47
  Speaker 2: told you how I met my husband, it's the exact
• 20:51
  Speaker 2: opposite way of well, who told you?
• 20:57
  Speaker 4: He told you?
• 20:59
  Speaker 2: Wasn't anything. When we met, I was I didn't like him,
• 21:05
  Speaker 2: but at the end of the night.
• 21:07
  Speaker 1: Didn't.
• 21:09
  Speaker 6: No, no, no no.
• 21:10
  Speaker 2: He was tall and actory looking, and.
• 21:12
  Speaker 1: I was like, oh, he was handsome and that was
• 21:17
  Speaker 1: a problem and young.
• 21:19
  Speaker 2: So I he said at the at the valet, we
• 21:23
  Speaker 2: were waiting for our cars at the end of the
• 21:24
  Speaker 2: awkward dinner, and he said, so, what should I call you?
• 21:29
  Speaker 2: And I said no. And I said, but you can
• 21:32
  Speaker 2: follow me? And he goes, you mean like on Instagram?
• 21:37
  Speaker 2: I said, no, idiot, follow me. Get in your car
• 21:39
  Speaker 2: and follow me like home.
• 21:41
  Speaker 7: No, not home, okay, I told you when I want something,
• 21:51
  Speaker 7: I get it, but no followed me to it.
• 21:54
  Speaker 2: I went to another bar. I didn't tell him where.
• 21:56
  Speaker 2: I just said follow me and I zoomed off. So
• 21:58
  Speaker 2: I had to see if he could keep up with me.
• 22:00
  Speaker 2: I wanted to see, like Gauge his like adventures because
• 22:04
  Speaker 2: I like adventure. And he kept up with me, and
• 22:07
  Speaker 2: we went to another bar, and that's where we got
• 22:09
  Speaker 2: to know each other without the people who had set
• 22:11
  Speaker 2: us up. So we were we were at a double
• 22:13
  Speaker 2: date before we needed to have some time. I needed
• 22:15
  Speaker 2: to have some time just one on one with them
• 22:16
  Speaker 2: to know what's who was interested?
• 22:19
  Speaker 5: You know, so are you supposed to you know, people
• 22:23
  Speaker 5: are like, this isn't the dating is like an interview,
• 22:25
  Speaker 5: so you have to have your interview questions.
• 22:26
  Speaker 6: I'm like, what are my interview questions?
• 22:28
  Speaker 4: Like?
• 22:29
  Speaker 5: I just kind of like let men like tell me
• 22:31
  Speaker 5: their story. I just kind of listen. I asked them
• 22:34
  Speaker 5: like I asked them like leading questions. But I don't
• 22:36
  Speaker 5: say like why were you married, who were you married,
• 22:39
  Speaker 5: how long was it divorced?
• 22:40
  Speaker 6: What's your five years?
• 22:44
  Speaker 4: I don't care about that, But the other stuff that's
• 22:46
  Speaker 4: I'm the like it too. I'm like, what, like I
• 22:49
  Speaker 4: do those questions?
• 22:49
  Speaker 3: Yeah?
• 22:50
  Speaker 1: Right?
• 22:51
  Speaker 6: Telling me I should do much?
• 22:52
  Speaker 1: I can't.
• 22:53
  Speaker 3: What do you want? Like, what do you what are
• 22:54
  Speaker 3: you interested?
• 22:55
  Speaker 1: Yeah?
• 22:55
  Speaker 3: Because I'm always.
• 22:57
  Speaker 5: See anything I feel so awkward. I feel like, oh
• 23:00
  Speaker 5: my god, and that would make me feel uncomfortable. They
• 23:02
  Speaker 5: were like I was like leading the dance.
• 23:04
  Speaker 4: TJ your best advice for the winners Elizabeth and Rebecca
• 23:07
  Speaker 4: tonight because they are at the concert in the VIP section.
• 23:10
  Speaker 4: So I mean, what is your best advice from a
• 23:13
  Speaker 4: man for them when.
• 23:15
  Speaker 1: You take advantage of the opportunity. You don't get this
• 23:18
  Speaker 1: enough to be And it's one thing to be in
• 23:20
  Speaker 1: a social setting, but this is a closed social setting,
• 23:22
  Speaker 1: meaning most of the people in the room are there
• 23:24
  Speaker 1: for one reason. They've kind of been vetted already. They
• 23:26
  Speaker 1: know somebody who knows somebody.
• 23:27
  Speaker 4: You know.
• 23:28
  Speaker 1: Everybody's here for the same reason, right, walk up, meet
• 23:31
  Speaker 1: talk to everybody. That guy might not be single, but
• 23:34
  Speaker 1: he might have a friend who is. That woman might
• 23:37
  Speaker 1: not be I mean she might not have a friend
• 23:39
  Speaker 1: available with her. She has her sisters. You've got to
• 23:42
  Speaker 1: take advantage of the opportunity and do not pass it
• 23:45
  Speaker 1: up tonight. You gotta be out there. You got to
• 23:46
  Speaker 1: be open, You got to be a company.
• 23:48
  Speaker 2: You might meet a guy that has a really wonderful
• 23:50
  Speaker 2: wife and you could have a new friend.
• 23:53
  Speaker 6: Look at it that way.
• 23:54
  Speaker 5: That's why I say to my friends too, I'm like,
• 23:56
  Speaker 5: go on to a lot of different dates because they
• 23:57
  Speaker 5: also might know people that you might be like, oh,
• 23:59
  Speaker 5: you know, really like you, but your friend is hot, right.
• 24:01
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but are you supposed to ask them about their phone?
• 24:05
  Speaker 3: K Like right out of the.
• 24:10
  Speaker 1: You don't follow No, I don't do that.
• 24:13
  Speaker 3: I just am like, what do you want?
• 24:14
  Speaker 2: Care about the money?
• 24:15
  Speaker 6: She said?
• 24:15
  Speaker 3: I don't care about the money?
• 24:16
  Speaker 6: No, she cares about no.
• 24:18
  Speaker 5: But I mean I could never say, like, oh, you
• 24:20
  Speaker 5: were a divorce, how long are you? I would feel
• 24:22
  Speaker 5: like I was literally like bulleting question that.
• 24:24
  Speaker 2: You just make them feel like you're talking and you're
• 24:27
  Speaker 2: not grilling them, right, you know, like just be easy
• 24:31
  Speaker 2: on the questions and listen.
• 24:32
  Speaker 5: Yeah, but I have gone a couple of days sorry
• 24:35
  Speaker 5: quickly where the guys talk so much and they tell
• 24:38
  Speaker 5: me so many stories and they're trying to like get
• 24:40
  Speaker 5: like the sympathy from me, and I'm just like, wow,
• 24:43
  Speaker 5: that's really great.
• 24:44
  Speaker 6: I'm saying. I'm like, oh my god, Like what like,
• 24:46
  Speaker 6: way another story?
• 24:47
  Speaker 4: Wait?
• 24:48
  Speaker 6: How many stories do I have to listen to in
• 24:49
  Speaker 6: like a two hour dinner?
• 24:51
  Speaker 1: You will be there with Elizabeth. We will continue to
• 24:55
  Speaker 1: check in. But yeah, we're this is gonna be a
• 24:58
  Speaker 1: fun night. Yeah, So folks, we want all of you
• 25:01
  Speaker 1: to keep checking in here with us. Do not give
• 25:03
  Speaker 1: up on finding your person. Hey, maybe you'll find them
• 25:06
  Speaker 1: by using this podcast. If you need dating advice, want
• 25:09
  Speaker 1: help finding love, we're here. The number is one eight
• 25:11
  Speaker 1: four four four I do pod. That's eight four four
• 25:15
  Speaker 1: four four three six seven sixty three. The email is
• 25:17
  Speaker 1: idpod at iHeartRadio dot com. That's idpod at iHeartRadio dot com.
• 25:22
  Speaker 1: All this is going to be in the show notes.
• 25:23
  Speaker 1: You can rate and review the podcast as well. I
• 25:26
  Speaker 1: do part two. It's an iHeartRadio podcast. We're falling in
• 25:28
  Speaker 1: live is the main objective, ladies. It is an absolute pleasure.
• 25:33
  Speaker 3: It's so fun.
• 25:35
  Speaker 4: I'll be sure to get an update on how the
• 25:36
  Speaker 4: night goes, so stay tuned for that
• 25:40
  Speaker 6: Goodlock look