Latest / Impact Ready / 158. The Power of a "But"

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158. The Power of a "But" · Impact Ready

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  Welcome to Impact Ready, a show dedicated to helping you elevate
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  your impact in the world. I'm Steph Safra, your host.
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  Let's explore the power of showing up with intention and
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  energy each day. This is for those who seek to
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  make life truly meaningful. Get ready for impact.
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  Hey team, welcome to another episode of the Impact Ready
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  podcast. Thank you for listening.
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  I hope you're having an awesome week.
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  In this episode, we're going to touch on again how language, the
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  language that we use, can be powerful in impacting our
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  behaviors, our actions, our life.
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  Language can shape our lives. And in past episodes we talked
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  about it in the terms of the language of your life.
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  That's what I call it, the language of your life.
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  This is the idea that the way that we talk about things,
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  whether it's our relationships, our work, our opportunities, the
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  holidays, our marriage, our kids, just even our daily
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  circumstances and all that stuff, it all has an impact on
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  us far beyond just a minute of talking about it.
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  Because the language that we use is a reflection of the energy
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  that we feel inside about those specific things, and it shapes
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  the story that we tell. When we are constantly speaking
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  the same kind of story out loud over and over again, whether
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  it's positive or negative, it sends a message to our cells.
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  And not only does it influence us energetically, like our mood
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  or the way that we feel our emotions, our feelings, it also
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  influences our Physiology. And I'm not going to get too in
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  the weeds with this, but this is because the thoughts we have
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  influence the neurochemicals that our brain releases that
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  have a downstream effect on cellular activity.
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  So without going into too much detail, it comes down to the
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  point that our thoughts, our language, our feelings can
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  influence what proteins our cells are making.
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  Language can impact biology. If we stay out of the weeds and
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  we focus solely on how language relates to energy or story, it
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  can just be really helpful to shed some light on things that
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  maybe we aren't very aware of. Our blind spots, our negative
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  stories that are still kind of unconscious are limiting
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  beliefs. Last year in one of the
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  episodes, I talked about how I stopped saying the word busy.
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  And the reason I stopped is because it was a very specific
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  energy that I was communicating when I said that word.
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  I I noticed that when I said the word busy, it often felt like it
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  was putting a wall up in a conversation.
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  I didn't like the way that the word felt.
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  I didn't like the way that people responded when I used it.
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  I didn't like the story it was telling about my life as if all
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  of these circumstances were out of my control, when in reality,
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  I knew that I was the one who was allowing for the
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  circumstances of my life. I was the one scheduling things
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  on my calendar or not taking ownership of my time.
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  And it all kind of started with the fact that I didn't really
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  like when people told me how busy they were because I felt
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  like it put up an energetic wall between me and this other person
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  when we were talking. So I cut that word out and
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  oftentimes I'll look at other things in my language and just
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  examine it and see what is that telling about my energy?
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  What is that sharing about my story?
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  How is that influencing my actions or maybe my own
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  subconscious beliefs that I'm not really even fully aware of?
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  And there's another powerful word that people say all the
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  time that I don't think they're aware of its power.
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  And that word is. But think about sentences that
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  you might have said recently, something like, I'd really like
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  to make more time to exercise, but I'd have a lot to do on this
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  project. But yeah, I'd really like to
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  hang out with the kids more, but I would have been able to go do
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  that thing. But yeah, I would have gotten to
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  that. But yes, I could probably spend
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  more time with my spouse. But in this case, the word but
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  is a good word to hone in on because it can reveal some ways
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  in which we are perhaps disempowering ourselves rather
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  than empowering ourselves. Or it can reveal a whole bunch
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  of other things. For example, sometimes the word
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  but reveals some fear. Like if I were to say I wish I
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  could have had this conversation with her, but I just don't think
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  she's in a good place to hear me, that might inform me that
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  I'm afraid of being rejected by this person.
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  Or maybe I have some apprehension and having a
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  conflict with them. Or it can be a place where we're
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  not taking radical ownership. I'd really like to have this
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  conversation with her, but I don't think they're in a good
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  place to hear me. Well, maybe that's true, but it
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  also might be a presumption. And it might be a place where
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  I'm shirking the responsibility and not taking ownership of my
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  own feelings and my communication.
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  Perhaps it's worth looking at, right?
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  These sentences could also easily be a place where a
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  saboteur is creeping in. I wish I could have this
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  conversation with her, but I just don't think she's in a
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  place to hear me. OK, Again, you could be making a
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  logical assessment. Or maybe that people pleaser
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  saboteur is sneaking in here and you don't really want to make
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  waves. Maybe it's the martyr who's
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  saying I have to do everything around here.
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  Maybe it's the perfectionist who feels like everything has to be
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  the perfect conditions to be able to have a conversation.
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  It could be any one of those old negative stories and limiting
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  beliefs. We often have saboteurs creeping
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  in and dictating our language because they are a negative
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  story and so it makes sense that language is US telling a story
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  and therefore it influences our behavior without us even being
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  aware of it. When I started to pay attention
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  to when and how I use the word. But it was really interesting.
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  It was an interesting exercise for me to go through in my own
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  life and sort of go through my own little diagnosis.
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  And the question I was asking was, am I saying this because I
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  genuinely feel the door is close to the situation?
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  Am I making a logical assessment?
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  Or am I saying this out of fear or limiting belief, an excuse, a
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  lack of ownership, any of those things?
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  And guess what? I'll be honest with you, 9 times
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  out of 10, whenever I was using the word.
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  But it was my own limiting beliefs, it was my own
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  disempowering stories. And if I said to myself, let's
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  take the butt out of the sentence, it changed the whole
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  game. If we were to go back to that
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  example before, now the sentiment is simply, I'd really
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  like to have a conversation with her.
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  Period. And with that sentiment, now we
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  have access to solutions. Because when I say I'd really
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  like to have a conversation with her, I've clearly stated the
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  desire in my mind and I can start to figure out how to move
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  towards what I want or what I need, how I need to act, how I
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  need to communicate, whatever it might be.
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  You take the butt out of it. And here's the thing, I
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  understand you might be listening to this saying, well,
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  this is getting a little nitpicky stuff.
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  But you would be amazed at how some of these simple little
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  things that we do every day, the simple little things that we
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  say, the stories we repeat, the little thoughts we repeat over
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  and over, they can add up to an overall sense of well-being.
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  Or not Even the simplest ways of showing up or talking or
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  thinking can influence whether or not we have a great day, a
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  great week, a great month, or a pretty mediocre day.
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  And we all know people who are walking around saying, I've had
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  a terrible week, I've had a terrible month.
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  This has been a terrible year. And they say that year after
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  year after year, you're going to hear it.
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  January 1st, can't wait for 2026, can't wait for this
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  dumpster fire to be over. You're going to start to hear
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  it. And I guarantee a lot of those
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  people are going to be the same people who said it about the
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  year before and the year before. And I'm not saying that out of
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  judgement. What I'm saying is that we have
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  to recognize that we can get into habits with our stories and
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  our language without even knowing it.
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  And when you can chip away at this stuff and be consistently
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  more intentional about the energy that you're bringing it
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  into every room, into every conversation, guys, you'd be
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  amazed at how fast things start to transform in your life.
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  Now, I don't think about this in terms of perfection, and I'm not
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  saying that you have to look for a hidden meaning behind every
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  sentence. But I do think we can examine it
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  from a place of investigation and curiosity and just see
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  what's true here. Am I coming from a place of
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  fear, excuse, lack of ownership? Or am I coming from a true
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  honest place of just stating my emotions or stating my concerns?
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  Then you'll be able to understand what's valid and
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  what's not when I catch myself saying that word.
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  But I can look at it now and I can know if I'm in my power or
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  if I'm not, if I'm taking ownership or not, If I'm putting
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  blame or responsibility outside of myself on external
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  circumstances or other people or the weather or the traffic or my
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  own fear, I can look at that and honestly examine it.
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  I don't want to have the disempowering caveat using the
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  word, but what I'd rather do is just state plainly what it is
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  that I want or need or desire, and then have a path forward to
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  go for it. That's the practice anyway.
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  So my challenge to you this week is to just examine your own
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  language, specifically around this word, but see if you can
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  investigate it a little bit and see, is this disempowering or is
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  it true? Is it valid?
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  And hopefully it can reveal some of those blind spots or those
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  negative stories that you don't actually want influencing your
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  energy or your impact. So I hope this helps, team.
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  I hope you have an amazing rest of the week.
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  Thank you for listening to this episode and thank you for being
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  ready to Impact. Thanks for listening to Impact
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  Ready. I hope today's episode inspired
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  you to own your impact and. Recognize that you are powerful.
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  By elevating our energy and awareness, we can create
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  exponential change in this life. If you enjoyed today's insights,
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  share them with a friend and subscribe to the show.
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  For more I truly. Appreciate you.
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  Thanks again for being here.