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Transcript

But You’re Supposed To Love Me · Divas That Care Network

• 0:32
  SPEAKER_01: Well, hello everyone and welcome back to the Diva Zat Care.
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_01: My name is Candice Gish.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_01: You know what, guys?
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_01: We are doing a special call today, and I'm so excited.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_01: We've been working on some special shows lately for the upcoming Our Mothers, Our Daughters anthology that we have coming out.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm excited because I get to interview Michelle Bateman today, and I'm beyond excited about that because Michelle's my friend.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_01: And you know, being able to interview her, I can I love it.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm excited.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_01: Um, if this is your very first time tuning into the Divas, a huge welcome.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_01: We've been doing this now for 13 years.
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, we're listening to in over 30 countries around the world, and honestly, it's because of all you guys.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_01: We love this, and now we're able to do these anthologies, and it's just it's absolutely amazing.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_01: So it's so much fun.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_01: So, Michelle, welcome back to the Divas.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_01: Thanks for having me back again.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_01: Wow, 13 years.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_01: That's amazing.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_01: Congrats.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_01: It's so crazy that time flies.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_01: I know so fast.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_01: So, Michelle, would you mind sharing a little bit about yourself before we dive into today's program?
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so personally or professionally, or both?
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_01: A little bit of both.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, sure.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_01: So I live just outside of Edmonton, Alberta.
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_01: I am a sun and water human, and uh I'm not sure why I live in Alberta.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_01: My family is Jamaican.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_01: So to not be by the water is kind of crazy.
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_01: And ironically, my kids said one day, Grandma and Grandpa had one job.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_01: Why did they leave us here?
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_01: I said, good question.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_01: So I am the mom of two adult daughters, which seems crazy to say.
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_01: My my youngest just turned 21, my oldest is turning 25, so time flies like you can't even imagine.
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_01: And so about 10 years ago, I kind of embarked on a journey of trying to find myself and find happiness after being in two really unhappy marriages and wondering how the hell did I get here in my life?
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_01: And I had a friend who was dying of ALS, and he was happier dying than I was living.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_01: And it was that that inspired me to believe that you can be happy in spite of your circumstances, and I just had to figure out how to do that.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_01: So, in reading and going to coaches and healers and listening to podcasts and Wayne Dyer every single day, I figured out that once I changed my thoughts and my beliefs and my mindset that I could change everything in my life.
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_01: And I went from thinking I'd never be happy again, stuck in my marriage, to moving out, renting an amazing home for me and my daughters.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_01: One year later, I bought my own home.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_01: And four years after that, I started my own business as a single mom with a mortgage.
• 3:11
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm super proud of that.
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_01: And I get to empower women to bust through the fears and the doubts and the blocks like I had to really step in and own their value and confidently show up in their life.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_01: And that's what I get to do, and that's what I love to do.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_01: And you're doing such a great job of it.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_01: I love it.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_01: And I love everything you're doing out there, all these events putting on out there, and they're posting about.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_01: It's so inspiring.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_01: And it looks like so much fun.
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_01: And I told you before that I wanted to come to some of these events, and I will be hopefully doing that with you in the fall.
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, we got that great one coming up this summer in June.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_01: Oh expanded wellness weekend.
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_01: If you want to come out.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_01: I will definitely do that.
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_01: Well, thank you so much.
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_01: And Michelle, I am beyond excited because you decided to be a part of our anthology, Our Mothers, Our Daughters, and you wrote an amazing story in there.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_01: Would you mind sharing a little bit about that?
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you know what?
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_01: When you first reached out and asked me, I think I actually declined because I felt like I wasn't in a place to even comment about mother-daughter relationships because I was really struggling in mind with my mom and with you know teenage daughters and trying to navigate all of that.
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_01: So I I gracefully declined, and you encouraged me to share that it doesn't always have to be the perfect stories that you wanted to hear.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_01: And, you know, what is it, the real rawness of mother-daughter relationships that, let's be honest, can be the hardest relationships we have in our life.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_01: And so I wrote from that perspective of just helping other people that don't have that perfect hallmark relationship with their mom to not feel alone.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_01: Because I know, you know, all the holidays and all the greeting cards and all the things are like families, you know, everything, and blood's thicker than water, and a mother's love is like no other love.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_01: And I was at an event last week in Calgary, and one lady was saying that, and she was globally stating it for the room.
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_01: And my entire table sat there shaking their heads, going, not us, that's not our reality.
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_01: And so to help others feel like they're not alone when they don't have that less than ideal or Hallmark perfect relationship with their mom.
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm excited because your story is in our inner self section.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_01: And I thought it would be perfect.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_01: It's the first story in that section for people to check out.
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_01: And it's great because when you once you go through it all, you have at the very end, they have that those action steps, those affirmations, and the journal prompts.
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_01: And having stories like yours will really inspire people to participate in that.
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that's so powerful.
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_01: Is that yeah, whatever we need to do is always on the inside.
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_01: We often look to outside of ourselves, you know, who do I need to change or what do I need to get and acquire to feel good enough?
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_01: And my story is really just about owning my own worthiness, in spite of needing, you know, that little girl inside of me that wants that good job, honey, from her mom is that I don't actually need it.
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_01: I can validate myself and believe in myself with or without the validation of my mom or anybody else in my family or really anybody else in the world.
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_01: And that self-confidence and self-love is determined by self, but we often source that out to everybody else around us instead of going within to find that for ourselves.
• 6:39
  SPEAKER_01: Isn't that true?
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_01: So, did you find that it was quite liberating to write your story?
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_01: You know what it was, and then I was a little apprehensive when it was coming out.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_01: I was like, oh, how's this gonna go over?
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not sure what to say.
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_01: And then after reading it, it was, you know, when I had a great childhood, and I and I said some beautiful things about my mom in there, but I really just had to own what was my truth and the sadness and the grieving that I had to experience without, you know, pointing fingers or blaming, but you know, just really honoring my journey and yeah, feeling free to say that was my experience, and what I'm learning from that is I actually don't need it, and I have to just reassure that inner child in me that we are enough with or without that approval.
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_01: And ironically, I wrote in the book where anytime somebody gave me a compliment, instantly the first thought in my head was, Well, I wonder if that'll be enough for my mom to think that I'm doing a good job.
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_01: And I wasn't really allowing myself to take in the compliments and receive it because I was busy trying to prove myself to my mom.
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_01: Isn't that interesting?
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_01: Sometimes I think too, do you well, and this is just kind of a thought right now, do you ever think it's a generational thing also from where our our absolute grew up in, you know, that era?
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, I always wonder if that's part of it, right?
• 8:01
  SPEAKER_01: There's so much programming, you know, don't talk about your stuff.
• 8:05
  SPEAKER_01: I remember hearing as a kid all the time, who do you think you are?
• 8:09
  SPEAKER_01: You know, and I was the realizations I've had about myself as I've gotten older and doing more of this work was my family was very shut down in their connected to this to their inner emotions.
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_01: So my mom was like outwardly loving and volunteered and did all those things, but connecting to those really deep feelings or allowing themselves to feel the spectrum of emotions.
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_01: And then here comes this little alien child who's like super emotional and all over the place, and they didn't know what to do with me.
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_01: And so I often felt like I was too much and too emotional, and I got in trouble for crying all the time.
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_01: So there was that messaging that wasn't intended, but that my emotions were too big, too much, and I was not enough and too much all at the same time, because they just weren't connected to that part of themselves.
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_01: And so to really see that that wasn't really a reflection of me, it was a reflection of where they're at and their journey.
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_01: And so for me to be the one stepping out and talking about all of these things that are so foreign to them is just um a little out of their comfort zone.
• 9:15
  SPEAKER_01: So one of the things I want to ask you is what do you think our listeners out there, if they were to go pick up a book, what do you think they would take out of this?
• 9:24
  SPEAKER_01: You know what?
• 9:24
  SPEAKER_01: I just I think there's so much power in story.
• 9:27
  SPEAKER_01: And, you know, I just did a workshop on helping women own their story and tell their truth of, you know, where they've been to where they've come from and really own that.
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_01: And we can just find little pieces of ourselves in everybody's story to feel like, oh, I'm not the only one.
• 9:48
  SPEAKER_01: And seeing what somebody else overcame or pulling the lessons that they learned can often relate to parts of your own life.
• 9:55
  SPEAKER_01: So I think it can be inspiring, uplifting, healing, all of the things when you can just see the courageous words that these brave women put to paper and some of the journeys that uh people have been through when I was doing that on the story event that we did and I heard people's stories.
• 10:13
  SPEAKER_01: Like I was bug-eyed reading everyone's story because what people have gone through in their lives and where they are today is quite profound, but we're not limited by our circumstances.
• 10:25
  SPEAKER_01: Exactly.
• 10:26
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I want to thank you so much for being a part of this anthology.
• 10:29
  SPEAKER_01: I am beyond grateful that you decided to to be a part of it.
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_01: It's just honestly it's an honor.
• 10:35
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, well, it was an honor to be asked, and the fact that the book is pink makes me really happy too.
• 10:42
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, it matches everything I love.
• 10:45
  SPEAKER_01: It's so pretty.
• 10:46
  SPEAKER_01: Yep.
• 10:46
  SPEAKER_01: It is so cool.
• 10:47
  SPEAKER_01: And and for all of our listeners, we actually got a little advanced copy of our book.
• 10:52
  SPEAKER_01: So we're really excited to be just looking at them and just getting excited.
• 10:55
  SPEAKER_01: And I think that's now I'm like rubbing it.
• 10:58
  SPEAKER_01: I've been so excited.
• 10:59
  SPEAKER_01: As soon as I got it, I was like, Oh, and I have this permigant on my face and I've been showing my family, they're like, Oh my goodness, it's like, yeah, I just I love it and I love how it even inspires me.
• 11:09
  SPEAKER_01: I I was been going through it and I've been looking at it, and I'm like, Oh, I gotta do this, oh this, you know, and and it's different seeing it in a book.
• 11:14
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I was able to read obviously all the stories beforehand, but to see it all together is just a it's different and it's just so much fun.
• 11:22
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, I do it's fun.
• 11:24
  SPEAKER_01: So thank you for allowing me.
• 11:25
  SPEAKER_01: This is my first my first published um book.
• 11:29
  SPEAKER_01: So thank you for helping me create that and add that to my list of of goals and accomplishments.
• 11:35
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my goodness.
• 11:36
  SPEAKER_01: It is my pleasure, and I know that you and I are gonna be doing so many more things in the future because you and I are just I I swear that we're soul sisters and we're just gonna be collaborating.
• 11:46
  SPEAKER_01: I know, and I can't wait till we get together in person.
• 11:49
  SPEAKER_01: Me too.
• 11:50
  SPEAKER_01: So thank you again for just taking the time to share a little bit about your story and to tell us about everything that's been going on.
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_01: You know, like I really appreciate it.
• 11:57
  SPEAKER_01: I just want to say, um, will you tell our listeners your website so they can go and check that out too?
• 12:02
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, perfect.
• 12:03
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, and thank you again so much for always including me and all the great things that you do and all the greatness that you're putting into the world is super awesome.
• 12:11
  SPEAKER_01: And they can find me at souljourney.co.
• 12:16
  SPEAKER_01: Perfect.
• 12:16
  SPEAKER_01: And they'll be able to check out all when your events happen.
• 12:20
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, the events are are on there, and um yeah, there's great things coming in the fall and the summertime.
• 12:26
  SPEAKER_01: So just looking behind the scenes on all the things.
• 12:29
  SPEAKER_01: Excellent.
• 12:30
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you so much, Michelle.
• 12:31
  SPEAKER_01: I had a great time chatting with you today.
• 12:33
  SPEAKER_01: Me too.
• 12:34
  SPEAKER_01: Thanks, Candace.
• 12:35
  SPEAKER_01: And for all of you listeners out there that are looking for our mothers, our daughters, the book is available on Amazon.
• 12:42
  SPEAKER_01: We have a special right now on Kindle, but you can also pick it up on Barnes and Nobles and Chapters and anywhere you can find a book.
• 12:48
  SPEAKER_01: So thank you so much for checking us out today.
• 12:51
  SPEAKER_01: We're just so excited about that and everything that is going on with the Divas at Care.
• 12:55
  SPEAKER_01: We also have some other special shows.
• 12:56
  SPEAKER_01: So we do have a playlist that we have out there on SoundCloud.
• 13:00
  SPEAKER_01: So you might want to go check out all those other programs because we've got some great things happening.
• 13:04
  SPEAKER_01: So, Michelle, thank you again, and thank you to all of our listeners, and I hope that you all have an amazing day.
• 13:09
  SPEAKER_01: Take care.
• 13:10
  SPEAKER_00: Thanks for listening.
• 13:14
  SPEAKER_00: Connect with us on Facebook, on Instagram, and of course on DavidFair.com where you can subscribe to our newsletter.