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How Not to Read a Map · Street Smart Naturalist

• 0:01
  SPEAKER_00: Greetings,
• 0:02
  SPEAKER_00: this is David B.
• 0:02
  SPEAKER_00: Williams and the podcast of my newsletter,
• 0:05
  SPEAKER_00: The Street Smart Naturalist,
• 0:07
  SPEAKER_00: Explorations of the Urban Kind.
• 0:10
  Every week I share my observations and adventures with the
• 0:12
  human and natural world
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_00: around Seattle,
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_00: Puget Sound,
• 0:15
  SPEAKER_00: and the Pacific Northwest.
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_00: Today's episode recounts my recent challenges in map reading.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_00: I hope it's a light diversion from the news.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_00: To learn more about my work, please go to my website, geologywriter.com.
• 0:28
  You will also find a link to my Substack newsletter and my
• 0:31
  previous four years of newsletters,
• 0:34
  SPEAKER_00: as well as images tied to this week's episode.
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_00: Thanks again for joining me on this adventure,
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_00: and welcome to Podcast 8 of the Street Smart Naturalist,
• 0:43
  SPEAKER_00: How Not to Read a Map,
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_00: January 23,
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  SPEAKER_00: 2025.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_00: I like to think I'm pretty good at reading maps.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_00: I understand topo lines and can tell a valley from a ridge from a summit.
• 0:55
  I know to look for scale and that sometimes 39-foot cliffs
• 0:59
  don't show up on a map
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_00: with 40-foot contours.
• 1:02
  I also know that maps can lie and mislead and that people use
• 1:06
  them for political or
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_00: other sinister purposes.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_00: That being written,
• 1:10
  I didn't expect to question my navigational talents via a small
• 1:14
  map illustrating
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_00: part of a Washington state park.
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_00: But I was.
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_00: Over the weekend,
• 1:19
  my wife and I stayed in a cabin at Deception Pass State Park at
• 1:23
  the north end of
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_00: Whidbey Island.
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_00: Perhaps I should have been forewarned about geographic shenanigans.
• 1:29
  Some Whidbites claim that their island is the longest in the
• 1:33
  United States.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_00: New York's Long Island is far longer, but a unanimous 1985 U.S.
• 1:39
  SPEAKER_00: Supreme Court decision rendered that point moot.
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_00: The Justices wrote that,
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_00: quote,
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  SPEAKER_00: Long Island,
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  SPEAKER_00: juridicially,
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  SPEAKER_00: is a peninsula,
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  SPEAKER_00: unquote,
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  SPEAKER_00: and not an island.
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  Such brilliant logic has facilitated the Widbite's bogus claims
• 1:55
  of exaggerated
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  SPEAKER_00: superlatives of island size.
• 1:58
  In our cabin was a handy brochure with information and maps
• 2:01
  about Deception Pass.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_00: Looking at it, I noticed a section of the park where we had not hiked.
• 2:06
  known as Hoipas Point Natural Forest Area and juts north on the
• 2:11
  east side of Deception Pass.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_00: Hoipas has a high spot of 400 feet with steep sides on the west and east.
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_00: Our plan was to circumnavigate the point and explore a complex of short,
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_00: interconnected trails on the undulating area south of the summit.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_00: We were slightly concerned.
• 2:30
  The map's legend listed 30 trails,
• 2:33
  and the map failed to show trails 27 to 30.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_00: But we figured we'd deal with it.
• 2:38
  After all,
• 2:39
  Marjorie is an Excel whisperer and knows how to deal with
• 2:42
  obstinate numbers.
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_00: So without a care in the world, we set out along the water.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_00: We were soon passing by Douglas firs wider than my outstretched arms.
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_00: Some were so tall it took,
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_00: quote,
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  SPEAKER_00: two men and a boy to look to the top,
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_00: as logger and historian Stuart Holbrook wrote in 1938.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_00: I have long liked this phrase but recently learned,
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  SPEAKER_00: to my horror,
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_00: that Holbrook wasn't the first to use it.
• 3:07
  SPEAKER_00: It's been lurking around humor columns in newspapers since at least 1841.
• 3:12
  Apparently,
• 3:13
  the first guy looks up until he's tired and the second guy
• 3:15
  takes over from there.
• 3:17
  Sadly,
• 3:18
  since we weren't a party of three,
• 3:19
  we couldn't actually see the tops of the trees.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_00: As we walked around the bend, we came to our first well-made wooden sign.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_00: It alerted us that we were on the East Hoipas Point Trail.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_00: We didn't think much of the deviation from the map,
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_00: which indicated we were in Fern Gully,
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_00: figuring that we were headed the right way.
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  SPEAKER_00: Continuing on,
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  SPEAKER_00: we zigged and zagged,
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  SPEAKER_00: passing by other signs that didn't match the names on the map.
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_00: But we still weren't worried.
• 3:45
  We had had a cup of coffee earlier,
• 3:47
  so we weren't too concerned about caffeine headaches.
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_00: Marjorie had several chocolate bars.
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_00: We had also had a vitamin C enriched drink the night before.
• 3:57
  which most likely meant we would not get scurvy in the
• 4:01
  notorious and dreaded
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_00: disease of misplaced souls.
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  SPEAKER_00: Clearly, we were up for whatever challenge awaited us at Hoipa's point.
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  SPEAKER_00: Two hours into our walk,
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  we sensed that we were mostly traveling in the direction that
• 4:13
  would complete our
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_00: proposed loop.
• 4:15
  Yet the trail names on the map placed us far to the north and
• 4:18
  east of the trail
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  SPEAKER_00: junction that a passing runner assured us was our present location.
• 4:23
  The runner slowed down enough to say that all we needed to do
• 4:26
  was take a right and
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_00: a left and we'd find the trailhead.
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_00: Still doubtful, we broke down and turned to our phones.
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  They have 120 million times the computing power of the Apollo
• 4:38
  guidance system.
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_00: computer that directed humans to the moon.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_00: Despite all of the vaunted power of the phone,
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  SPEAKER_00: though,
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  it failed to show the left turn our runner friend described and
• 4:47
  which showed up on
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  SPEAKER_00: our printed map.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_00: Bold and as intrepid as ever,
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  SPEAKER_00: we sallied forth and found the left turn,
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  SPEAKER_00: which the map listed as Hemlock Hideaway.
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_00: Again, this did not jibe.
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  SPEAKER_00: We had encountered a Hemlock Hideaway about 45 minutes earlier,
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  SPEAKER_00: and the sign at the left turn said West Hoipas Point Trail.
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_00: At this point,
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_00: Marjorie turned to her chocolate,
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_00: ate some,
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  SPEAKER_00: and declared that we would head up this trail.
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_00: Hemlock be damned.
• 5:14
  About 15 minutes later,
• 5:15
  we reached our starting point where we looked at a map on the kiosk.
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_00: It showed what we suspected.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_00: The handy brochure map we had was either made as a joke,
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_00: created by a geographically challenged cartographer,
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  SPEAKER_00: produced without a copy editor,
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  SPEAKER_00: or was a sinister plot on the part of state parks to annoy hikers.
• 5:36
  SPEAKER_00: Or all four.
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_00: I tell you this story for several reasons.
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_00: First,
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  SPEAKER_00: with the horrible,
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  SPEAKER_00: immoral,
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  SPEAKER_00: and selfish proclamations oozing out of Washington,
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_00: D.C.,
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  SPEAKER_00: it seems that some silliness is necessary.
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_00: Second, despite the cartographic issues, we had a splendid time.
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_00: After a while, all we could do was laugh at the signs and maps.
• 5:57
  As usual,
• 5:58
  being outside was rejuvenating and seeing the big trees was
• 6:01
  inspiring and hopeful.
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_00: In addition,
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_00: our experience reaffirms my belief that when outdoors,
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_00: one shouldn't rely implicitly or explicitly on phone-based maps.
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_00: They don't provide the scale one often needs to navigate large spaces.
• 6:16
  Plus,
• 6:16
  they seem to push people to not pay attention to their surroundings.
• 6:20
  If we hadn't been so diligent and wired on caffeine,
• 6:23
  we might still be a loss.
• 6:25
  SPEAKER_00: Finally,
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_00: Hoipos is truly a lovely area,
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_00: studded with big trees,
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_00: many of which bear marks of fires from long,
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_00: long ago.
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_00: It is an unusually intact Puget lowland forest.
• 6:39
  SPEAKER_00: Many additional trees have a complex growth pattern,
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_00: such as multiple trunks or bent trunks and branches.
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_00: And despite the misinformation on the map,
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_00: we did find the Big Marsh and Slug Slough,
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_00: though no slugs.
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_00: It is always a pleasure to travel locally and find new places to explore.
• 6:56
  In the future,
• 6:57
  though,
• 6:57
  I'll be more careful in basing my explorations on free brochure maps.
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_00: Once again,
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_00: this is David B.
• 7:04
  SPEAKER_00: Williams,
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_00: author and voice of The Street Smart Naturalist,
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_00: Explorations of the Urban Kind,
• 7:11
  a weekly newsletter and podcast focusing on the human and
• 7:13
  natural world around Seattle,
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_00: Puget Sound,
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_00: and the Pacific Northwest.
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_00: For more information about my books,
• 7:20
  SPEAKER_00: walks,
• 7:20
  SPEAKER_00: and talks,
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_00: and a link to sign up for my newsletter and podcast,
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_00: check out my website,
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_00: geologywriter.com.
• 7:27
  And don't forget to slow down,
• 7:29
  pay attention,
• 7:29
  and enjoy the world around you.