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Hope Garcia - Bullying · Aired Out

0:18
Speaker 1: Sssssh All right, here we go, brand new day, National
1:38
Speaker 1: Flannel Day. Today. Isn't that nice? And it ought to
1:43
Speaker 1: be eleven degrees in the granted city. We got to
1:46
Speaker 1: four days until Valentine's Day. Wow. Shout out this morning
1:54
Speaker 1: to montul your Volkswagen, the place to be for high performance,
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Speaker 1: low preshure, home of the big deal, the twenty twenty
2:02
Speaker 1: five Atlas, the Atlas Crossboard, the T one, the tigu
2:06
Speaker 1: one asks these are beautiful, beautiful cars, and right now
2:11
Speaker 1: ten thousand dollars off of the twenty twenty four Volkswagen
2:16
Speaker 1: Atlas Crossboard. Beautiful beautiful car, and last I checked, there
2:22
Speaker 1: were like two left. So if you want one, get
2:24
Speaker 1: over and have a look. Montpellier Volkswagen four seven seven
2:29
Speaker 1: ninety thirty. It's number to call Route two in Berlin.
2:36
Speaker 1: Good morning everyone again. Eleven degrees right now in Barry.
2:41
Speaker 1: The sun is shining, we have some clouds coming in,
2:44
Speaker 1: some snow showers this afternoon, and thirty two degrees for
2:49
Speaker 1: a daytime high. Gotta love that. Wow, What did I
2:53
Speaker 1: see this this morning? This is like breaking records for
2:56
Speaker 1: the longest amount of consecutive cold weather below What was
3:03
Speaker 1: it thirty degrees, I think below freezing. Yeah, here it
3:08
Speaker 1: is right here. This is crazy. Eleven consecutive to days
3:14
Speaker 1: below freezing, most in eleven years. Unreal. A few inches
3:22
Speaker 1: of snow for the afternoon and the evening commute, so
3:26
Speaker 1: please go easy, please drive carefully. We get forty four
3:31
Speaker 1: degrees right now in Jacksonville, North Carolina, says Crystal. Yeah,
3:36
Speaker 1: enjoy that, Crystal, Oh my gosh, and enjoy when it's
3:41
Speaker 1: one hundred and five in a couple of months too.
3:44
Speaker 1: Snow tonight in twenty three clouds, Tomorrow flurries and twenty
3:49
Speaker 1: nine and then Thursday cloudy and twenty four degrees. Looking
3:55
Speaker 1: forward to the night to shine this weekend, Amy's amboire
3:59
Speaker 1: is just doing such great things right over just down
4:03
Speaker 1: the road on North Main Street, getting ready for that.
4:05
Speaker 1: All of the volunteers got what one hundred and ninety
4:08
Speaker 1: volunteers and one hundred honored guests on Friday night. It's
4:13
Speaker 1: going to be amazing. I cannot wait. So this morning,
4:19
Speaker 1: in the spirit of great transparency and the spirit of
4:27
Speaker 1: well aired out and being real and raw and relevant
4:35
Speaker 1: and relatable, we have some folks that are with us
4:40
Speaker 1: to very bravely discuss the subject of bullying. Before I
4:53
Speaker 1: even introduce these young ladies sitting next to me, say
5:01
Speaker 1: a couple of things here. Number one, I know that
5:05
Speaker 1: this episode is going to hit a hot button with
5:10
Speaker 1: many of you. I know that many of you will
5:14
Speaker 1: have some strong opinions about this. Please just take a
5:26
Speaker 1: deep breath, and obviously I want you to comment and
5:34
Speaker 1: express whatever it is that you're feeling straight up, but
5:41
Speaker 1: have an open mind and look at things with a
5:46
Speaker 1: broad perspective. The purpose of today's show is to find remedy.
5:55
Speaker 1: It's to find some resolution. It's to find some some
6:00
Speaker 1: good or better, if not good, a better outcome. This
6:08
Speaker 1: is a subject that hits a nerve with so many
6:12
Speaker 1: parents that have been through this and experience this. It
6:16
Speaker 1: also is something that hits a nerve with adults who
6:22
Speaker 1: have been subjected to bullying throughout their childhood and still
6:32
Speaker 1: to this day carry it with them. With me right
6:39
Speaker 1: now is Hope Garcia and Chrissy Sears. Welcome to both
6:47
Speaker 1: of you. I want to I want to first say
6:51
Speaker 1: thank you both for coming in here and being willing
6:56
Speaker 1: to discuss this on camera and on microphone, live on
7:02
Speaker 1: the air, right here in our community. That's pretty big
7:09
Speaker 1: of you, and honestly, I can't think of too many
7:15
Speaker 1: people that have done this in the past with me,
7:20
Speaker 1: so that's huge. So thank you before we even begin.
7:24
Speaker 1: Thanks for doing this, for coming in here, for being
7:28
Speaker 1: willing to talk about this. You're both aware of what
7:35
Speaker 1: it is that we do here on Wednesdays with Sweethearts
7:39
Speaker 1: and Heroes. Is that right correct? Have you had a
7:42
Speaker 1: chance to see any of those episodes.
7:48
Speaker 2: Yes, I've watched the episode last week which specifically.
7:52
Speaker 1: Which was heavy into bullying. Sweethearts and Heroes is just
7:59
Speaker 1: a remarkable program that was created hearing fromont and they're
8:04
Speaker 1: massive regionally. They're going into schools everywhere and they're teaching
8:10
Speaker 1: kids and administrators just how to be better people. And
8:16
Speaker 1: they tackle or attempt to and are very successful at
8:22
Speaker 1: tackling bullying. And you know, I've heard that bullying is
8:27
Speaker 1: a crisis. I've heard that it's an epidemic. I've heard
8:30
Speaker 1: it's a reflection of a society's that's gone mad. I've
8:36
Speaker 1: heard that it's a reflection of a failed school system.
8:40
Speaker 1: I've heard that it's a reflection of bad parenting culture, society.
8:45
Speaker 1: The list goes on. It runs a mile long, and
8:48
Speaker 1: we could sit and point fingers all day about the
8:51
Speaker 1: root cause of a bullying and why it's worse today
8:56
Speaker 1: than it was, or maybe maybe not worse, but maybe
9:00
Speaker 1: just very different than it was back in the whatever sixties, seventies, eighties.
9:07
Speaker 1: We could talk about that all day. What's going on?
9:10
Speaker 1: First of all, you two are sisters, yes, well known
9:14
Speaker 1: here locally in our community. What's the story. Let's let's
9:18
Speaker 1: begin there.
9:20
Speaker 2: Okay, my son, he's thirteen, he goes to Berrytown, he's
9:26
Speaker 2: an eighth grader. He's we've moved back here about a
9:32
Speaker 2: year and a half ago, it'll be two years in June.
9:36
Speaker 2: And my son is biracial. We moved back here from
9:41
Speaker 2: La so he's used to an all Hispanic community, which
9:45
Speaker 2: means it's about ninety seven percent of the school is Hispanic.
9:49
Speaker 2: And with that said, you would think English is the
9:54
Speaker 2: common language. It really is more Spanish, it is English,
9:58
Speaker 2: and actually that city itself. So for him, he didn't
10:03
Speaker 2: really see bullying in that type of manner that he's
10:08
Speaker 2: been facing here in Barrytown, or bullying in any factor
10:14
Speaker 2: towards himself. He would see, you know, out at the playground,
10:19
Speaker 2: you know, they would do tiktoks, of which is normal
10:23
Speaker 2: out there and not something you would ever see here.
10:25
Speaker 2: Is they call it like a five second fight where
10:29
Speaker 2: they'd go into the bathroom and they would just throw
10:32
Speaker 2: fists and they'd videotape it and put it on TikTok
10:35
Speaker 2: and it was they could be best friends and they
10:37
Speaker 2: would just do it just to hit blows. Because when
10:40
Speaker 2: they get to high school, it's a normal thing. They
10:43
Speaker 2: have what's called fight Week where people just fight. So
10:48
Speaker 2: these are normal things that you would see in California
10:52
Speaker 2: or in the city. So coming out here, I didn't
10:54
Speaker 2: expect to see anything like that, or people just honestly
10:57
Speaker 2: having their video cameras out because they were allowed to
11:00
Speaker 2: have their cell phones in class. They were allowed to,
11:03
Speaker 2: you know, say what they wanted to say to the
11:06
Speaker 2: teachers and nothing would be done. And so coming here
11:10
Speaker 2: it was a complete like culture shock for both of
11:12
Speaker 2: my children.
11:13
Speaker 1: Okay, Christy, you want to add anything on that.
11:21
Speaker 3: Both have two sons. They both go to Berrytown School
11:23
Speaker 3: as well. You know, we've had some issues, you know,
11:30
Speaker 3: I'm well aware. I know I know a lot of
11:32
Speaker 3: people whose kids go there. I'm from this area, grew
11:34
Speaker 3: up here, raised here, proud to be essentral ro honor.
11:40
Speaker 3: Know of a lot of people who have had issues
11:42
Speaker 3: at Berrytown and Berry City for that matter, you know,
11:44
Speaker 3: with bullying, So it's not something new. Very disappointed that
11:50
Speaker 3: this that I've heard of, the things going on with
11:52
Speaker 3: my nephew. Not impressed whatsoever. And I'll just let hope continue.
11:58
Speaker 1: On with that. Have either of you lost sleep over this?
12:07
Speaker 1: Of course?
12:08
Speaker 2: Yeah, of course.
12:10
Speaker 1: Have either of you lost hope with any of this?
12:16
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, definitely.
12:18
Speaker 2: I'd say I've lost hope in the school systems right now.
12:21
Speaker 2: I think that they need to make a change.
12:23
Speaker 3: Okay, that's disheartening. You know, I have a younger son
12:29
Speaker 3: that goes to Berrytown. He's in the fifth grade, and
12:32
Speaker 3: to know that he's in a school that continues to
12:36
Speaker 3: allow the bullying to go on is you know, makes
12:39
Speaker 3: me want to pull him and homeschool, which I wish
12:42
Speaker 3: I could do.
12:42
Speaker 4: I don't have the means to do that.
12:44
Speaker 3: I wish I could because I don't want him to
12:47
Speaker 3: be exposed to that.
12:48
Speaker 4: I don't don't teach him to support.
12:50
Speaker 3: That, and you know, I don't want that for him
12:54
Speaker 3: or his friends.
12:55
Speaker 1: I'm going to ask you more specifics on what you've
13:01
Speaker 1: what you've done, what you've tried to do too, uh,
13:05
Speaker 1: to have some resolution here, But I want to say this.
13:11
Speaker 1: Last night I got a text from a friend, and
13:15
Speaker 1: then I got another one this morning saying, I am
13:24
Speaker 1: going to be watching your podcast, but I'm most likely
13:34
Speaker 1: not going to be posting a comment because I don't want.
13:44
Speaker 1: I don't want to blow the whistle on the school
13:52
Speaker 1: or the the administration or the you know whatever, the principal, whatever,
14:00
Speaker 1: because it could come back and nip them. There's a
14:09
Speaker 1: real systemic problem here. And you know, I've talked with
14:18
Speaker 1: sweethearts and heroes about this, that we can it's so
14:23
Speaker 1: easy to redirect, to point the fingers elsewhere, to look away,
14:33
Speaker 1: to dilute a problem like this, and it's it's just
14:42
Speaker 1: it just resonates with me that that there's there's folks
14:46
Speaker 1: that are are willing to to watch and to listen, uh,
14:50
Speaker 1: but not willing to kind of ding the bell on
14:58
Speaker 1: and speak up exactly exactly exactly, because when when you
15:05
Speaker 1: do speak up, you are going to be subjected to ridicule.
15:12
Speaker 1: You're going to be subjected to people are gonna call
15:16
Speaker 1: you a victim, They're going to call you an agitator,
15:20
Speaker 1: They're going to call you a bully yourself, You're you know,
15:30
Speaker 1: it's and it's too bad. It's too bad because you know,
15:36
Speaker 1: I wish there were more folks that were willing to
15:40
Speaker 1: come in here and shine the spotlight on better things
15:46
Speaker 1: going on in our community. But I also wish that
15:51
Speaker 1: there because there's some real good things that are happening
15:54
Speaker 1: that don't get enough attention. But I also wish that
15:57
Speaker 1: there were more parents like yourself who were brave enough
16:02
Speaker 1: and willing enough to come in here and get on
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Speaker 1: camera and and air out the things that aren't going
16:13
Speaker 1: so well in our community that need some some real help,
16:18
Speaker 1: some real tweaking, and you know, let's acknowledge what what
16:24
Speaker 1: those those things are and let's constructively try to find
16:29
Speaker 1: some some resolution here. I personally am unaware what the
16:37
Speaker 1: reasoning is of why Berry City in Barrytown have not
16:46
Speaker 1: taken advantage of the unbelievably profound resources in sweethearts and
16:55
Speaker 1: heroes by bringing them into the school and letting them
17:01
Speaker 1: do their magic, which really is amazing. I mean, if
17:05
Speaker 1: every single Wednesday, I've got one testimony after another of
17:10
Speaker 1: school after school, after school, and I'm going to have
17:13
Speaker 1: another one tomorrow morning right here. So why why has
17:20
Speaker 1: why hasn't anyone at either of these two schools reached
17:25
Speaker 1: out to sweethearts and heroes and said, hey, I think
17:29
Speaker 1: we might need you, or let's at least let's have
17:33
Speaker 1: a conversation.
17:35
Speaker 2: Because these conversations are being held elsewhere. These conversations are
17:38
Speaker 2: being held at kitchen tables, they're being held at nail salons,
17:42
Speaker 2: they're being held in coffee shops, they're not being or
17:48
Speaker 2: they're being held on Barry Chat. And a lot of
17:50
Speaker 2: times these are being held on bury Chat and people
17:53
Speaker 2: are saying, I'm moving to Barry can you tell me
17:55
Speaker 2: something about it? And that's where those conversations happen. But
17:59
Speaker 2: they never leave those areas because no one wants to
18:02
Speaker 2: go to town hall, no one wants to go back.
18:04
Speaker 2: Or they do say something to one of those school
18:06
Speaker 2: systems and then it gets quieted and nothing happens. But
18:11
Speaker 2: nobody else finds out about those bullying issues because that
18:15
Speaker 2: one family is quieted, and then everyone else doesn't know
18:19
Speaker 2: that something happened that week because it didn't make the news.
18:23
Speaker 2: And the only way you're going to find out something
18:25
Speaker 2: happens is if it does make the news, and then
18:28
Speaker 2: it just it's just another part of the day. And
18:32
Speaker 2: unless you say something, no one's gonna be able to
18:36
Speaker 2: sit next to you and say something too.
18:39
Speaker 1: Again, I'm gonna be asking you what you've done and
18:43
Speaker 1: what efforts you've put forth here in just a little
18:46
Speaker 1: bit to get some better recognition of what's going on.
18:52
Speaker 1: But you know the thing about Sweethearts and Heroes is
19:00
Speaker 1: that they're trying to they're they're they're trying to h
19:06
Speaker 1: paddle against a stream of what's coming down the pipe
19:11
Speaker 1: here in our world, in our culture, in our society.
19:16
Speaker 1: And we can sit and point the fingers, like I said,
19:20
Speaker 1: all day at bad parenting, social media, whatever it may be.
19:25
Speaker 1: But in the end, where the buck really stops is
19:36
Speaker 1: when there's some really obvious problems that are that are
19:43
Speaker 1: happening either with one particular student or half a dozen
19:49
Speaker 1: particular students at a school, elementary, middle, high, school, doesn't matter,
19:56
Speaker 1: and it's either dusted under the rug or dealt with
20:02
Speaker 1: not appropriately or not at all. And where the buck
20:10
Speaker 1: really stops is that child taking his or her life.
20:18
Speaker 1: Sweethearts and Heroes is well aware of this that's what
20:23
Speaker 1: they're ultimately trying to prevent. First, I think, and I
20:29
Speaker 1: want to speak for them, and secondly by teaching these
20:36
Speaker 1: kids to go through the rest of their lives just
20:38
Speaker 1: being a better human being and being someone's hero, recognizing
20:45
Speaker 1: what bullying is, what it smells like. You know, when
20:50
Speaker 1: when I was a kid, you know, there was just
20:52
Speaker 1: a lot of goofing around, poking, polling, throw paper, airplanes
20:58
Speaker 1: at each other, whatever. But at some point there's a
21:03
Speaker 1: line that's crossed. And it's not a really obvious line
21:07
Speaker 1: at least I don't think. And it's it's how things
21:11
Speaker 1: are perceived, it's how it's how they're received. And I
21:22
Speaker 1: want to ask you what you've done so how this
21:25
Speaker 1: has been going on since the beginning of the school year.
21:29
Speaker 2: No, this started last year actually last year. Yes, there
21:33
Speaker 2: were situations last year where my son was being called
21:36
Speaker 2: certain names in regards to his race, like wet back,
21:43
Speaker 2: border hopper and things that you wouldn't normally hear out
21:48
Speaker 2: of a seventh or eighth grader, and it was addressed,
21:51
Speaker 2: It was brought up to the HHB coordinator, and there
21:58
Speaker 2: was addressed to the student in that situation and at
22:03
Speaker 2: that specific junction. I had called the school, and I
22:11
Speaker 2: wasn't told right away that it was taken care of
22:13
Speaker 2: until I got an email and I was like, goes,
22:16
Speaker 2: this is how this is done. I didn't know that.
22:18
Speaker 2: You don't get a call normally, or you don't you
22:21
Speaker 2: get pulled in to discuss this. No, normally, it's like
22:24
Speaker 2: they talk to the victim and they talk to the
22:27
Speaker 2: suspect and I'm sorry, I'm using those two words because
22:29
Speaker 2: those are probably the wrong words to use, and I'm
22:32
Speaker 2: and but they automatically think it's you know, a victim
22:36
Speaker 2: and perpetrator whatever whatever. I'm again, wrong words, not yours
22:41
Speaker 2: you want to use for children. But then they try
22:44
Speaker 2: to get them to fix the things. This is normally
22:46
Speaker 2: what most schools try to do is they'll talk to one,
22:48
Speaker 2: they'll talk together, and then they try to put them
22:50
Speaker 2: in the room and they try to fix fix the situation.
22:54
Speaker 2: That's not necessarily what it is. They not all schools
22:59
Speaker 2: do that, and then they like try to squash it.
23:03
Speaker 2: I'm not saying that's what Barrytown did, but if it's
23:07
Speaker 2: a very volatile situation, they'll then also they make an
23:11
Speaker 2: investigation and they come to did this happen, did this
23:14
Speaker 2: not happen? They ask if there were teachers around, were
23:17
Speaker 2: there other students, were their witnesses, and then they write
23:20
Speaker 2: a formal report and then they'll let the parent know
23:25
Speaker 2: what happened and say, you know this is real or
23:29
Speaker 2: it's not, or it was taken care of, because they
23:32
Speaker 2: can then suspend the student depending on what type of
23:38
Speaker 2: incident it was or if it has any like real validation,
23:43
Speaker 2: and that's how they're supposed to do it. Now. My
23:47
Speaker 2: son had been bullied a few different ways last year,
23:50
Speaker 2: and without going into any detail, none of the other
23:53
Speaker 2: ones he brought up because after the first one, he
23:57
Speaker 2: felt like, why should I say anything because it's not
24:00
Speaker 2: going to go anywhere. And second, like they said last week,
24:07
Speaker 2: which is the number one thing that kids that age
24:09
Speaker 2: say is snitches get stitches, that was perfect what she
24:13
Speaker 2: said last week, because that's exactly what these kids say.
24:16
Speaker 2: You want to be a nark, you'll be a nark
24:18
Speaker 2: for the rest of the time you're in school, and
24:20
Speaker 2: it's not just going to be eighth grade, it's going
24:21
Speaker 2: to be all the way through high school. So anytime
24:24
Speaker 2: my son had something to say, he did not want
24:26
Speaker 2: to tell me who it was. He refused to tell
24:29
Speaker 2: me who it was. I had to do the digging.
24:32
Speaker 2: He didn't want to give up these people's names, and
24:35
Speaker 2: of course he didn't want Mama Bear here to go
24:37
Speaker 2: and look for that information. But I wasn't going to
24:40
Speaker 2: let it go.
24:41
Speaker 3: Wow, he's internalizing all of that and just carrying it
24:44
Speaker 3: all and carrying it all, and he was getting sicker.
24:46
Speaker 3: He gets so heavy, and he was.
24:49
Speaker 2: Actually getting sick and going home and having stomach pains,
24:53
Speaker 2: wanting to stay home and ended up having IBS. And
24:59
Speaker 2: they were saying, well, he just trying to stay home.
25:01
Speaker 2: I'm like, no, Actually, his doctor says he is IBS.
25:03
Speaker 2: And he was getting anxiety in IBS from being bullied
25:08
Speaker 2: at school. So this this year, with all the things
25:13
Speaker 2: that have been going on in the media, these kids
25:18
Speaker 2: started picking on him another way, and they said ice
25:22
Speaker 2: is coming to get you. And they would tell this
25:25
Speaker 2: to him in classes at lunch, or he would walk
25:29
Speaker 2: out on the playground and say, don't touch the ice.
25:33
Speaker 2: And my son would come home and tell me these things.
25:36
Speaker 2: And right now, I just got the chills even saying
25:37
Speaker 2: that one. It's like my son is American number one.
25:42
Speaker 2: He was born in Whittier, California. He is bi Rachel.
25:46
Speaker 2: Yes he is half white, like half white, I'm white
25:50
Speaker 2: as can be. And yes, he is half Mexican American.
25:55
Speaker 2: His father was born in California. His father country yep
26:01
Speaker 2: is wrong with you. His father was in the military
26:04
Speaker 2: and so was I. There was no validity around even
26:07
Speaker 2: the comments that are coming towards him, and he's light
26:10
Speaker 2: skinned Mexican American. He just has it. There was no
26:15
Speaker 2: there was no validity around these conversations or comments that
26:18
Speaker 2: are coming out of children that are thirteen, twelve, fourteen
26:22
Speaker 2: years old, and these are being thrown at my son,
26:26
Speaker 2: not to mention other comments. And then my son is
26:30
Speaker 2: starting to write things on social media himself saying I
26:33
Speaker 2: want to hurt myself, Mom, I want to kill myself,
26:37
Speaker 2: and then kids are telling him, go for it, do it.
26:39
Speaker 2: No one cares kill yourself. This is what my son
26:44
Speaker 2: has had to face this past two years here in
26:47
Speaker 2: Barry things I never thought he would have to face.
26:50
Speaker 2: And I'm not saying it doesn't happen around the rest
26:52
Speaker 2: of the United States. I'm not saying there wasn't bullying
26:55
Speaker 2: in California. Because my older son faced very almost the
27:01
Speaker 2: same type of bullying when he was at the same
27:03
Speaker 2: age for being Hispanic and white, and it was the opposite,
27:07
Speaker 2: so he was being bullied for being white. So I'm
27:11
Speaker 2: not saying that this doesn't happen everywhere else in the
27:13
Speaker 2: United States, but I'm saying that this is this is
27:16
Speaker 2: a pandemic. This is something that happens everywhere. But it's
27:20
Speaker 2: about what will the school system do to stop this
27:24
Speaker 2: from happening to everyone? And there are other minorities in
27:28
Speaker 2: this school system that are facing the same thing every day.
27:32
Speaker 2: And I can say that because I've heard it from
27:33
Speaker 2: other students and other students' parents.
27:39
Speaker 1: We're getting, uh, we're getting nailed here with a lot
27:44
Speaker 1: of comments, which I know you're going to go back
27:47
Speaker 1: and read these, one of them a couple that are
27:53
Speaker 1: jumping out at me. The only way that's going to
27:55
Speaker 1: stop is he learns how to fight, otherwise this will
27:59
Speaker 1: be an un going issue throughout his entire life. I
28:08
Speaker 1: want to ask you about your thoughts on that learning
28:12
Speaker 1: how to protect yourself. And I've had this discussion. Charylyn
28:21
Speaker 1: and I both have had this discussion with our little
28:24
Speaker 1: girl many times, and some of the ways to protect yourself,
28:35
Speaker 1: in our opinion, lie within your head of what you
28:42
Speaker 1: allow yourself to hear and what you allow yourself to
28:47
Speaker 1: be affected by what you allow to go into your heart.
28:53
Speaker 1: How well are you able to have enough self confidence
28:58
Speaker 1: that you can turn and ignore stuff like this? Also
29:06
Speaker 1: knowing that you're a good person, knowing that you are
29:15
Speaker 1: beautiful on the inside or on the outside, Knowing that
29:20
Speaker 1: you're not fat, knowing that you're not skinny, knowing that
29:26
Speaker 1: you got clothes that you like, knowing that your hair
29:31
Speaker 1: is pretty, things like this, and being able to to
29:38
Speaker 1: not let something like that rent any space in your
29:42
Speaker 1: head to walk away from it, not just physically but emotionally.
29:47
Speaker 1: But at some point, if if, at some point teachers
29:56
Speaker 1: are either not able to or not willing to, or
29:59
Speaker 1: are too busy or whatever to see everything that's going
30:03
Speaker 1: on in every nook and cranny of the school, and
30:07
Speaker 1: at some point that child needs to address their bullier.
30:22
Speaker 1: They're bully in some way, in some way, and I
30:33
Speaker 1: don't know exactly what that looks like. I don't know
30:37
Speaker 1: if it's with words, I don't know if it's with fists.
30:41
Speaker 1: But at some point, just and this is for the
30:50
Speaker 1: rest of their lives. They've got to be able to
30:54
Speaker 1: stand up for themselves, which is really scary. It's really scary.
30:58
Speaker 1: I can't imagine sitting on that couch and role reversing
31:05
Speaker 1: here and being in your shoes, Hope, I absolutely cannot.
31:11
Speaker 1: That is petrifying to me. And I don't know.
31:16
Speaker 2: It's hard to speak up for your child.
31:18
Speaker 1: I don't know how I respond.
31:19
Speaker 2: Your children want. Your children don't necessarily want you to
31:21
Speaker 2: speak up for them because it puts a target on
31:23
Speaker 2: their back. Two, if your child decides to fight for themselves,
31:28
Speaker 2: they now also will be in trouble for being They
31:32
Speaker 2: could become a bully, and then they also now are
31:37
Speaker 2: put in the same position as that bully, and they'll
31:39
Speaker 2: be labeled for fighting.
31:40
Speaker 1: Back and they're exacerbating the situation.
31:43
Speaker 2: So when they do that, that also unless they're doing
31:48
Speaker 2: it appropriately with their fighting back just to de escalate
31:52
Speaker 2: the situation, it's only going to cause more problems for
31:55
Speaker 2: them with other students and maybe the same person. Because
31:59
Speaker 2: if that bully you really wanted to just push your
32:01
Speaker 2: buttons and see if you're going to fall, or they're
32:04
Speaker 2: pushing their buttons to see if you'll fight them back,
32:07
Speaker 2: you may not come out of that on top, and
32:10
Speaker 2: you may come out with more pain than just emotional
32:14
Speaker 2: and mental. You may come out with more physical pain
32:16
Speaker 2: out of that situation. So I don't necessarily agree with
32:19
Speaker 2: fighting back physically, and I'm saying that from somebody who
32:22
Speaker 2: was in the military for eleven years as an MP.
32:25
Speaker 2: So you have to de escalate the situation at the
32:28
Speaker 2: lowest level possible. And sometimes that's actually just walking away, yeah,
32:33
Speaker 2: I fully.
32:36
Speaker 3: But from a thirteen year old perspective, that's easier said
32:39
Speaker 3: than done sometimes, yeah, correct, And they are so impressive impressionable,
32:44
Speaker 3: and it's very hard when you know, at thirteen, think
32:47
Speaker 3: about when we used to be, you know, thirteen years old,
32:49
Speaker 3: and how impressionable we are by all our peers.
32:52
Speaker 4: We just want everybody to like us.
32:54
Speaker 3: We want every We want to get along with everybody,
32:55
Speaker 3: want to be in the in crowd, right right, And
32:58
Speaker 3: so when everybody, you know, when we have somebody bullying us,
33:02
Speaker 3: or we have a group of kids bullying us, and
33:04
Speaker 3: you know, we just we just want to tolerate it,
33:08
Speaker 3: you know. And we know Drew right like, he just
33:10
Speaker 3: tolerates and puts up with it and doesn't say much
33:13
Speaker 3: because he just wants to be you know, liked, and
33:18
Speaker 3: unfortunately that's the age. But you know, it breaks my
33:22
Speaker 3: heart and I teared up a few times because just
33:23
Speaker 3: to hear the fact, you know, and you've told me,
33:26
Speaker 3: but just to hear the fact that he like has
33:28
Speaker 3: even thought of hurting himself, it just breaks my heart,
33:31
Speaker 3: you know, because you know, and and yes it's my
33:35
Speaker 3: nephew and I love him dearly, But it breaks my
33:38
Speaker 3: heart for other.
33:39
Speaker 4: People too, because he's not the only one, right.
33:42
Speaker 3: Like, he's not the only one that's being bullied. Yes,
33:44
Speaker 3: we're speaking out about it, but we're speaking out for
33:46
Speaker 3: more than just Drew. We're speaking out for all the
33:48
Speaker 3: other parents, right and all the other kids that go
33:50
Speaker 3: to these schools Berry City and Barry Town combined that
33:54
Speaker 3: have kids that go to these schools that are being
33:56
Speaker 3: treated this way.
33:56
Speaker 4: And something needs to change. It needs to change. The
33:59
Speaker 4: system needs to change.
34:02
Speaker 2: It's not a joke when kids say this. It's not
34:04
Speaker 2: a joke when it's a cry for help. And maybe
34:09
Speaker 2: they say it, maybe kids say it too easily nowadays,
34:12
Speaker 2: And that's another another thing when they say these comments.
34:16
Speaker 2: But when other people say it back, like just do it,
34:19
Speaker 2: you don't know if you're not going to get that
34:21
Speaker 2: phone call the next day, or that kid's not going
34:23
Speaker 2: to be in class because you did say just do it,
34:27
Speaker 2: and if you actually had an impact on that child.
34:30
Speaker 1: It happens all the time. Yeah.
34:32
Speaker 3: Well, and then the school wants to get my sister
34:34
Speaker 3: for truancy because my nephew's missed so much school. But
34:38
Speaker 3: the real reason he's missed so much school is because
34:40
Speaker 3: he's bullied so much. You know, it's been what year
34:43
Speaker 3: and a half now that he's been bullied off and on,
34:46
Speaker 3: so like they want to bring up truancy, right, he's
34:49
Speaker 3: missed so much school.
34:50
Speaker 4: Well, he's missed so much school. Let's get to the
34:52
Speaker 4: bottom of why.
34:52
Speaker 3: He's missed school, right, Like, the real reason he's missed school.
34:56
Speaker 3: I wouldn't want to go to school either, if people
34:57
Speaker 3: are treating me like that, if people are telling me
35:00
Speaker 3: the ice is coming to get me, if people are
35:02
Speaker 3: saying the things they say, or what do.
35:03
Speaker 4: They say on Taco Day? What do they say on
35:06
Speaker 4: that day?
35:07
Speaker 2: True's Taco Tuesday.
35:08
Speaker 3: You know, I mean it's constantly things about him and
35:12
Speaker 3: his nationality. Like I just I just can't, like I
35:16
Speaker 3: don't blame him for missing school, and I don't, and
35:18
Speaker 3: I totally understand that the anxiety that he carries and
35:24
Speaker 3: what it does to his body, anxiety will mess you up, right,
35:28
Speaker 3: and carrying all that, of course it messes him up
35:30
Speaker 3: and makes him feel sick. And of course, you know,
35:33
Speaker 3: and the school for them to just try to like
35:35
Speaker 3: turn things around and say, oh, we're gonna get you
35:38
Speaker 3: for truancy, We're gonna get you for truancy, hope, for
35:40
Speaker 3: not having your kid in school. Shame on you, Berry Town.
35:43
Speaker 3: Shame on you guys for not getting down to the
35:45
Speaker 3: bottom of things, and shame on you for not realizing
35:49
Speaker 3: this kid has some stuff because.
35:51
Speaker 4: Of what's not being addressed in your school, because of.
35:53
Speaker 3: The bullying, right, Like, let's get to the bottom of
35:56
Speaker 3: all of this and fix the issues at hand so
35:59
Speaker 3: that he can go to school and lead a normal
36:01
Speaker 3: life and be a normal kid, right, and for all
36:04
Speaker 3: the other kids too that are going through this.
36:07
Speaker 4: Just it's a shame. It's a shame. It shouldn't have to.
36:10
Speaker 3: Be, like, this kid should be able to go to
36:11
Speaker 3: school and be kids and get along right and be supported.
36:18
Speaker 4: That's how I feel.
36:20
Speaker 1: Got a comment here that I want to read it,
36:25
Speaker 1: and there's so many, but this one here jumped out
36:29
Speaker 1: at me too. The soft on discipline approach at schools
36:34
Speaker 1: has taken power from teachers and staff to address bad behavior.
36:40
Speaker 1: You can't reward poor behavior and ignore good behavior and
36:47
Speaker 1: expect positive results. You got any thoughts on that?
36:56
Speaker 2: Coming from an old school type of growing up, I
37:00
Speaker 2: went to school in Connecticut. I graduated high school up
37:03
Speaker 2: here in Vermont, at Hartford High. I remember being in
37:07
Speaker 2: a classroom in my fourth grade classroom, and I watched
37:09
Speaker 2: my teacher take a child and throw him up against
37:13
Speaker 2: the wall. Okay, you don't see that anymore, but I
37:18
Speaker 2: remember what this kid do did. He took some chairs
37:21
Speaker 2: and chucked them across the room, and this lady was
37:25
Speaker 2: like in her seventies, and she grabbed him by the
37:29
Speaker 2: arm and pulled him up against the wall. He never
37:31
Speaker 2: did it again. Now, mind you, that is abuse, and
37:34
Speaker 2: you're not supposed to do things like that. But did
37:36
Speaker 2: this child ever act up again?
37:38
Speaker 5: No?
37:40
Speaker 2: I don't formally say you should be doing anything like
37:42
Speaker 2: that to the children in the class, but I do
37:45
Speaker 2: think that the minute a child does act up, a
37:47
Speaker 2: teacher should be like, get him out of here out
37:49
Speaker 2: of the class. We shouldn't have this person in here.
37:53
Speaker 2: They're disrupting my students. They're disrupting my class. Separate them,
37:58
Speaker 2: separate them from the class. You can get it together right,
38:01
Speaker 2: and we need to fix something for the rest of
38:04
Speaker 2: the class so the rest of the class can learn.
38:06
Speaker 2: And if somebody does good things, you do need to
38:08
Speaker 2: show to the rest of the class that they're doing well.
38:12
Speaker 2: Not just okay, hey, you guys are getting hundred percents. Yep,
38:15
Speaker 2: it's marked on the paper. You need to show that
38:17
Speaker 2: doing good actually gives you something, because there's no incentives
38:21
Speaker 2: anymore for doing well in class. It's just hey, I
38:23
Speaker 2: have a four point zho i have a three point seven,
38:26
Speaker 2: and only one person gets that positive when they're the
38:28
Speaker 2: one standing up as a valedictorian at the end of
38:30
Speaker 2: the year. You need to praise people in public. Yeah,
38:36
Speaker 2: that's the biggest part. Praise them. And then you're also
38:40
Speaker 2: supposed to make sure that when you are putting someone
38:46
Speaker 2: that is actually getting in trouble do it behind closed doors.
38:48
Speaker 2: That is true, but if they're doing it right in
38:50
Speaker 2: front of you with all the other kids, you also
38:51
Speaker 2: have to make sure you're the one that's in charge.
38:53
Speaker 2: You're the teacher. You need to show that you're the
38:56
Speaker 2: teacher and that you also deserve the respect from your students.
39:00
Speaker 2: And I know that a lot of people are not
39:01
Speaker 2: going to agree with me on this. I understand that
39:03
Speaker 2: that they say that respect is earned. No respect is
39:07
Speaker 2: given to teachers. They're there to teach you, and you
39:10
Speaker 2: should be giving them the same respect that you would
39:12
Speaker 2: give your parents.
39:19
Speaker 1: Glenn says, it's the parent's job to teach right from wrong.
39:23
Speaker 1: I mean a lot of this starts or should start
39:28
Speaker 1: at home. I mean, you know, gosh, all the time
39:35
Speaker 1: we're telling our little girl about be kind was probably
39:44
Speaker 1: along with I love you was some of the last
39:49
Speaker 1: words that we would say every single day at school
39:55
Speaker 1: drop off. Be kind to yourself, kind to others, be
40:00
Speaker 1: kind to teachers, be kind to the janitor, be kind
40:04
Speaker 1: to the lunch lady. But be kind to to others
40:12
Speaker 1: in the sense where if you see someone that's being
40:15
Speaker 1: subjected to something that you might feel is not welcomed, Yeah,
40:24
Speaker 1: get involved and become a friend to that kid and
40:31
Speaker 1: speak up to whoever is saying or doing something to
40:36
Speaker 1: them that's kind, that's unkind, or that is making them
40:40
Speaker 1: feel uncomfortable. It's everyone's responsibility. And that's I think one
40:48
Speaker 1: of the big things, the driving things that sweethearts and
40:52
Speaker 1: heroes pushes that there's no fix all here. Everybody he's
41:00
Speaker 1: got to push and pull together to make some progress here.
41:05
Speaker 1: This is not easy. And when I say systemic, which
41:10
Speaker 1: I've used that word a couple of times, man, it's like,
41:16
Speaker 1: you've got to you've got to engage with your kids.
41:20
Speaker 1: You've you've got to teach them at an early age.
41:24
Speaker 1: And maybe you missed a couple of years there at
41:27
Speaker 1: the beginning. Take the opportunity now to sit with your
41:31
Speaker 1: kids and engage with them, talk with them, listen to them,
41:36
Speaker 1: but help them become a better person. You know, I
41:43
Speaker 1: was god, I remember so well. You know, I was
41:49
Speaker 1: a freaking goofball in elementary school, constant joker, jokester. But
42:01
Speaker 1: you know, at some point I had to I had
42:04
Speaker 1: to understand. I had to realize that there's such a
42:08
Speaker 1: fine line between pulling a prank on someone. I mean,
42:12
Speaker 1: I love I loved that when people would pull pranks
42:15
Speaker 1: on me. But that's that's how I felt that I
42:22
Speaker 1: was liked by them. I don't know, it's and I'm
42:25
Speaker 1: still that way. I mean you should hear me with
42:27
Speaker 1: with my friends. I mean they brutally come after me.
42:31
Speaker 4: I how you bond with them?
42:32
Speaker 1: That's that's my thing. Man. It's like I'm short, I'm fat,
42:36
Speaker 1: you know, my little legs. The list goes on and
42:39
Speaker 1: and and it's fun and it doesn't bother me.
42:44
Speaker 2: It may not bother you, but it could bother the next.
42:46
Speaker 1: Child exactly exactly, and that's very true. That's it right there.
42:52
Speaker 2: And then you have parents to say, well, you got
42:54
Speaker 2: to have thick skin or you have And that's the
42:58
Speaker 2: other thing is like that person's right. You know, it's
43:00
Speaker 2: the parent's job to teach you children right from wrong
43:04
Speaker 2: or to let them know this is how you should
43:09
Speaker 2: treat other people.
43:10
Speaker 4: You know.
43:11
Speaker 2: The one thing I've always told my kids is like,
43:13
Speaker 2: treat everyone the way you want to be treated and
43:16
Speaker 2: leave it at that. But I also think that even
43:20
Speaker 2: though if a parent is telling their kids you shouldn't
43:22
Speaker 2: do this, you shouldn't do that, be nice to other kids.
43:25
Speaker 2: The bigger part is that cell phone that is a
43:29
Speaker 2: huge marker that they pay attention to more than they
43:31
Speaker 2: do their own parents, and that social media, CNN, anything
43:36
Speaker 2: that they're seeing is playing a huge part into how
43:39
Speaker 2: they act to other people. They get to see what's
43:42
Speaker 2: going on in other schools, they get to see what's online,
43:45
Speaker 2: and you can't hide what they hear from their parents.
43:49
Speaker 2: You can't hide what they hear from other kids on TikTok,
43:53
Speaker 2: on snap, on CNN, on Facebook, on Instagram, on any
44:00
Speaker 2: social media platform. I mean, and I don't like to
44:03
Speaker 2: bring politics into it, but if you look at the
44:05
Speaker 2: recent case with Ice with Preddy, that was everywhere from
44:09
Speaker 2: every which angle you could possibly think about it, And
44:13
Speaker 2: what do you think kids thought about that? Yeah, they
44:17
Speaker 2: saw someone shot up front in person, and there's nothing
44:23
Speaker 2: that you can do about it to hide it because
44:25
Speaker 2: it was seen from so many different angles, from everybody
44:27
Speaker 2: else's cell phone. It doesn't matter who was right, It
44:31
Speaker 2: doesn't matter who was wrong. These children can make their
44:34
Speaker 2: own decisions on that, and it just made it worse.
44:38
Speaker 2: And it's their choice to think what they wanted to see,
44:41
Speaker 2: not what their parents wanted to see, but what they
44:44
Speaker 2: want to discuss it and how they think about it
44:45
Speaker 2: in school, because no one's talking about it to them.
44:49
Speaker 2: We talk about it as adults, but they're not having
44:52
Speaker 2: that discussion, because we don't talk about that in school.
44:55
Speaker 2: That's not something we bring up in school.
44:59
Speaker 1: Dad would tell me well into his eighties that when
45:08
Speaker 1: he would get in trouble in school for doing or
45:15
Speaker 1: saying something that comparatively today is nothing. I mean, just
45:21
Speaker 1: speaking mildly disrespectful to another student, the teacher would catch
45:26
Speaker 1: that and he would get a rap on the knuckles
45:32
Speaker 1: with a wooden ruler in front of all the other
45:38
Speaker 1: students in his class. And my dad would tell me
45:44
Speaker 1: that the worst pain wasn't the getting hit with a
45:47
Speaker 1: ruler on the knuckles one hit, but rather the embarrassment
45:52
Speaker 1: in front of all the other students, and that if
45:56
Speaker 1: it happened again, his mom and dad were notified.
46:02
Speaker 4: Of it, and it's probably worse.
46:04
Speaker 1: You know, back one hundred years ago, that was the worst,
46:09
Speaker 1: having to deal with with that wrath, yeah, which wasn't
46:13
Speaker 1: always physical, but just real consequences for your behavior, real accountability.
46:23
Speaker 3: My Graham used to talk about a dunce hat that
46:25
Speaker 3: put her in the corner with a dun dun set.
46:27
Speaker 1: Can't do that anymore, no, you know, I I remember
46:31
Speaker 1: in third grade. You never forget things like this, missus Rockwell,
46:38
Speaker 1: I was dragged by her down the hallway. She had
46:42
Speaker 1: her hand around the collar of my shirt so tight
46:46
Speaker 1: that I remember cutting into my neck. I was like, wow,
46:51
Speaker 1: she's pissed. Right to the principal's office and sat in
46:56
Speaker 1: his office for it seemed like ten years. And he
47:03
Speaker 1: was pissed and raised his voice and said, I'm gonna
47:11
Speaker 1: be I'm really angry. I could see he was really
47:14
Speaker 1: ticked off, and said I'm gonna be talking to being
47:17
Speaker 1: parents about this. I've had enough. Those days are gone,
47:24
Speaker 1: Are they gone?
47:25
Speaker 2: Yes, they are gone. There's a lot of rules put
47:30
Speaker 2: in place the way educators are allowed to speak to children.
47:34
Speaker 1: Yeah, but I'll get comments here saying, yeah, jdo those
47:42
Speaker 1: are really old times in old days, and it's different,
47:45
Speaker 1: and you can't compare any of that to today. Things
47:49
Speaker 1: are different today.
47:50
Speaker 2: Technology is different. Technology change that.
47:54
Speaker 1: That's one of the things. That's one of the things,
47:57
Speaker 1: and it's a big one.
47:58
Speaker 2: And it's also generations. The generation has changed that by
48:01
Speaker 2: who who was brought up by what generation? So if
48:03
Speaker 2: you look at it by parents to our generation. So
48:08
Speaker 2: let's talk about if you look at our generation, the senials, millennials,
48:12
Speaker 2: whatever you want to call us, we brought our children
48:16
Speaker 2: up a lot differently than the way our parents brought
48:19
Speaker 2: us up. So our children were brought up a different way,
48:22
Speaker 2: so they see things a different way.
48:24
Speaker 3: And they times were different too, Like you know, I
48:29
Speaker 3: think coming up there was different struggles, right, There was
48:32
Speaker 3: different struggles, and there wasn't you know, the things that
48:37
Speaker 3: were important in life.
48:41
Speaker 4: We're just your basic things, right, Does that make sense?
48:44
Speaker 4: It wasn't. It wasn't thing.
48:46
Speaker 2: You got McDonald's maybe once in a month or once
48:48
Speaker 2: every six months, not like, hey can I get McDonald's today,
48:51
Speaker 2: tomorrow the next day. You couldn't get door dash, I
48:54
Speaker 2: mean right. McDonald's was like the be all.
48:59
Speaker 3: It was like ten into the chickens and yeah.
49:04
Speaker 1: You know these kids, you know I you know. I
49:10
Speaker 1: said to Tom Murphy, the founder of Sweethearts and Heroes,
49:15
Speaker 1: one time, I said to him, I wouldn't want to
49:20
Speaker 1: be a kid today. I loved being a kid back
49:24
Speaker 1: in the seventies. It's awesome. Ride my bicycle around, climbing trees,
49:30
Speaker 1: getting hurt. Did I get in trouble, absolutely, but it
49:35
Speaker 1: was I don't know, man, it was different. There were
49:38
Speaker 1: parameters set up, there were rules, There were a lot
49:41
Speaker 1: of unspoken.
49:43
Speaker 2: Rules that like coming before the lights go out.
49:46
Speaker 1: Yeah, but it wasn't just me, It was just like everybody.
49:49
Speaker 1: It was everybody. And you know, if if you were
49:54
Speaker 1: picked on or bullied, you know, if you were picked
49:58
Speaker 1: on to the point where it got it just went
50:03
Speaker 1: on too long or too far. It was you know,
50:08
Speaker 1: it was settled at the playground.
50:11
Speaker 3: It was seck somebody or you got decked and that
50:13
Speaker 3: was it.
50:15
Speaker 1: You know, Or it was settled maybe in the hallway
50:20
Speaker 1: for ten seconds, or maybe in the cafeteria or.
50:25
Speaker 2: Rumbling was settled with parents and it was a parent
50:29
Speaker 2: talking to another parent and it was squashed.
50:32
Speaker 1: Yep.
50:33
Speaker 2: That was a big one. If there was bullying happening
50:36
Speaker 2: between kids, the parents got together and they took care
50:39
Speaker 2: of it. Yeah, and it was done and you never
50:43
Speaker 2: heard about it again.
50:44
Speaker 1: And maybe even went over to their house and rang
50:48
Speaker 1: the doorbell at eight o'clock at night and said, you
50:52
Speaker 1: don't know me, I don't know you. But we got
50:57
Speaker 1: to sit down and talk. Where do we put our stock.
51:05
Speaker 1: Do we put it in that or do we put
51:08
Speaker 1: it in the superintendent's office, the education department, the principal's office,
51:17
Speaker 1: the teacher's lap.
51:21
Speaker 2: I took the option of making sure that before we
51:27
Speaker 2: took all the steps, we notified the school. My son
51:34
Speaker 2: did do what I asked, and he did tell the teachers.
51:38
Speaker 2: He didn't want to, but he did. He did let
51:41
Speaker 2: them know what was going on. Did it go anywhere
51:44
Speaker 2: at that point, No. So then when it came around
51:47
Speaker 2: this time for this last part, I then intervened and
51:50
Speaker 2: I sent an email. And I sent an email to everyone,
51:54
Speaker 2: and I mean everyone. I sent it to the school,
51:58
Speaker 2: I sent it to the superintendent, I sent it to
52:00
Speaker 2: to the Department of Education, and I was going to
52:04
Speaker 2: go higher.
52:05
Speaker 1: You send it to WCIX.
52:07
Speaker 2: No, I did not. I wasn't going in that yet.
52:11
Speaker 2: I wasn't going in that direction yet. But I made
52:14
Speaker 2: sure that everyone knew what I was saying. And I
52:16
Speaker 2: wanted to make sure that an investigation was going to
52:18
Speaker 2: be conducted by the rules that were stated in our
52:22
Speaker 2: parent Handbook, by the rules that were stated in HHB,
52:26
Speaker 2: by the rules that are stated in the Vermont Department
52:28
Speaker 2: of Education on what is supposed to be done when
52:31
Speaker 2: it comes to bullying. And I did it all so
52:34
Speaker 2: that I could get an answer, and I got my answers.
52:37
Speaker 1: All right, So you've read that. What does it.
52:39
Speaker 2: Say that they once the complaint is filed and it's received,
52:46
Speaker 2: they have five days to complete an investigation. And in
52:50
Speaker 2: that investigation, they will talk with the child that is
52:54
Speaker 2: being bullied, and they will talk with the individuals that
52:56
Speaker 2: are stated in the investigation and witnesses, and they will
53:01
Speaker 2: come to a conclusion. And within those five days they
53:03
Speaker 2: have to give that report back to the parent and
53:06
Speaker 2: let them know what they have found out with in
53:08
Speaker 2: investigation and what they will be doing five days. Five days?
53:12
Speaker 1: Okay? When was that.
53:18
Speaker 3: That?
53:19
Speaker 5: Dare?
53:19
Speaker 2: Were two thursdays ago?
53:21
Speaker 1: Okay?
53:23
Speaker 2: So I did not receive the report because my son
53:27
Speaker 2: did not give the information to them, and that was
53:29
Speaker 2: why I did not get the investigation completed in five days,
53:33
Speaker 2: because I was not told. I did not know the
53:35
Speaker 2: part that he needed to come back into the school
53:37
Speaker 2: to specifically come out of his mouth what exactly was said,
53:42
Speaker 2: because I was the one that sent the email saying
53:46
Speaker 2: this is what happened to my son, because he did
53:49
Speaker 2: not want to come in and tell himself specifically what
53:54
Speaker 2: was going on, so I have to still have him
53:58
Speaker 2: say it for the investigation to be complete, did so
54:00
Speaker 2: that he can so that he can have those people
54:04
Speaker 2: talk to. And that was the difference that I wasn't
54:07
Speaker 2: sure about. And I understand that there are protocols set
54:10
Speaker 2: in place. I understand that these are the way that
54:12
Speaker 2: they do their investigations. But I made sure that I
54:15
Speaker 2: also followed the protocols, that I read through all these instructions.
54:20
Speaker 2: But in doing that, I also asked my questions. When
54:24
Speaker 2: I got to sit down and I when was that
54:26
Speaker 2: yesterday with with who the superintendent and the two principles
54:33
Speaker 2: which is the mister Mills and miss Pierson.
54:38
Speaker 1: What was said on that.
54:40
Speaker 2: They that'sked when I got told about how the investigation
54:42
Speaker 2: worked and that he still needed to be spoken to.
54:45
Speaker 2: And the first thing was said it was truancy. It
54:49
Speaker 2: was about truancy. And I was like, no, this is
54:51
Speaker 2: where this goes. And then I asked questions and I
54:53
Speaker 2: also offered ideas as I offered the idea about Sweetheart
54:57
Speaker 2: and heroes, and then I was told about the different things.
55:00
Speaker 2: Is that Barrytown already has in place for the school
55:03
Speaker 2: like this month they believe is empathy, and that the
55:07
Speaker 2: teachers meet early in the morning and that they talk
55:10
Speaker 2: about these things in their early morning meetings. They just
55:14
Speaker 2: explain to me the stuff that they already have set
55:16
Speaker 2: in place, and that they do have town hall meetings
55:18
Speaker 2: where they do discuss things in regards to bullying, and
55:21
Speaker 2: that they do have a good program in place. And
55:24
Speaker 2: my question was, well, if this program is set in place,
55:27
Speaker 2: then why isn't it working? And I asked and they said, well,
55:31
Speaker 2: what can you tell me how is it working that
55:33
Speaker 2: it's getting somewhere? And they said, well, we do believe
55:36
Speaker 2: it is working. And I said, well, I think there
55:39
Speaker 2: should be more done. I think that even if my
55:42
Speaker 2: son leaves the school, which is what I am doing,
55:45
Speaker 2: I believe that these other kids still need opportunities and
55:48
Speaker 2: they need a chance for this to work for everyone,
55:52
Speaker 2: minorities or any child that's being bullied, because something else
55:56
Speaker 2: needs to be put in place so that these kids
55:59
Speaker 2: in Wa Washington School District and any other school district
56:02
Speaker 2: here in Vermont has something that they can go to
56:05
Speaker 2: so this doesn't happen again, and so that people including
56:09
Speaker 2: parents do not feel uncomfortable about walking into any one
56:14
Speaker 2: of these schools and say, hey, my kids being bullied,
56:17
Speaker 2: what are you going to do about it? Instead end
56:19
Speaker 2: up coming back out and like nothing's going to happen.
56:22
Speaker 2: I'm sorry, I'm sorry, Hun, You're just gonna have to
56:25
Speaker 2: go to school. Suck it up, because that's what it
56:27
Speaker 2: feels like. You go in, you say something, they do
56:30
Speaker 2: a report on it, Maybe the kid gets in trouble
56:33
Speaker 2: for a detention, Maybe the kid gets suspended, maybe not,
56:37
Speaker 2: and then your kid just goes back to school and
56:39
Speaker 2: continues to get bullied.
56:42
Speaker 1: What what? What are these programs that they're saying that.
56:47
Speaker 2: They say they have the ones where they talk about
56:49
Speaker 2: a different subject each month, they go over the bullying
56:52
Speaker 2: at the beginning of the school year, they like, they said,
56:57
Speaker 2: the empathy, They talk to their teachers every morning. They
57:00
Speaker 2: do all these things proactively in the school. But when
57:03
Speaker 2: I heard about Sweetheart and Heroes, I felt that that
57:07
Speaker 2: was a bigger idea that could cover all the bases
57:11
Speaker 2: for the school because not only does it take seventh
57:15
Speaker 2: and eighth graders turning around and teaching first and second
57:18
Speaker 2: graders what bullying is. The idea gives the empowerment to
57:23
Speaker 2: the children so that they can actually sit there and
57:26
Speaker 2: be like which is a different saying that they use
57:29
Speaker 2: in California, but it's see something, say something, and that's
57:34
Speaker 2: the idea is not just to be the person that's
57:36
Speaker 2: the witness and let it go, but be that person
57:39
Speaker 2: that can stand behind the person that's being victimized and
57:43
Speaker 2: help them and say I've seen this. I'm gonna go
57:46
Speaker 2: say something because now it's on paper and you can't
57:49
Speaker 2: do anything about it because he didn't have to say it.
57:52
Speaker 2: I saw it too.
57:54
Speaker 3: What gives them sense of control as well, which is
57:56
Speaker 3: great and empowerment.
57:58
Speaker 2: It can't just be that. Knowing someone else is in
58:01
Speaker 2: your corner, even if they're not your friend, gives you
58:04
Speaker 2: a little bit more control on how you feel, and
58:07
Speaker 2: it actually gives you more confidence to be walking down
58:11
Speaker 2: that hall knowing somebody else is looking out for you.
58:15
Speaker 1: Didn't you tell me they're bringing some kind of speaker
58:18
Speaker 1: in or they said.
58:19
Speaker 2: There's a speaker coming in to talk about something. I
58:22
Speaker 2: don't know who the name is. They didn't know at
58:23
Speaker 2: that time when I was trying to talk to them,
58:25
Speaker 2: but that that person was supposed to be coming in,
58:27
Speaker 2: and they they didn't know, They couldn't tell.
58:30
Speaker 4: Me who it was, so but it was somebody famous.
58:33
Speaker 2: Yeah, I just don't know who it is.
58:37
Speaker 3: I think speaking about empathy, doesn't really address bullying. I mean,
58:41
Speaker 3: I think that's I think that's a huge piece like
58:45
Speaker 3: right of a puzzle, but I don't And I think
58:47
Speaker 3: empathy is great. Everybody should have empathy, But I don't
58:50
Speaker 3: think that address is bullying directly, right, Like, that's great
58:54
Speaker 3: if that's what they're doing, but that doesn't really address
58:56
Speaker 3: the issue, right, So speak just speaking about empathy you
59:00
Speaker 3: this month doesn't address the real issue you have at
59:03
Speaker 3: hand here of bullying.
59:05
Speaker 2: I think that that's something you should teach every kid
59:07
Speaker 2: in kindergarten, first grade, but I think that once you
59:10
Speaker 2: hit seven to eighth grade, they're probably not gonna be
59:12
Speaker 2: listening to that class. Yeah, I mean, it's something you
59:15
Speaker 2: should put in the proposal about bullying, but it has
59:18
Speaker 2: to be inside that when you're explaining what bullying is.
59:21
Speaker 2: But that's something you naturally teach your kindergarteners or first graders.
59:30
Speaker 1: Like a you know, I need to come back to this.
59:35
Speaker 1: I mean, the end of the worst case scenario with
59:42
Speaker 1: this is that a kid, no matter how old they are,
59:49
Speaker 1: has lost all faith and hope and has come to
59:57
Speaker 1: a thorough realization that nothing is going to change and
1:00:03
Speaker 1: that this is how it is this is how it's
1:00:06
Speaker 1: going to be, and they're just not willing to hang
1:00:16
Speaker 1: around any longer.
1:00:24
Speaker 2: It can become physical to their health, it can become
1:00:30
Speaker 2: emotionally mentally impactful on other things for them, And that's
1:00:35
Speaker 2: why you have these issues with the suicide because they
1:00:39
Speaker 2: don't know how to handle it. And I know that
1:00:41
Speaker 2: some people have said, you know, physically fight back, but
1:00:45
Speaker 2: not all kids have that capability. And that doesn't mean
1:00:49
Speaker 2: because parents are making their kids too soft. It doesn't
1:00:53
Speaker 2: mean that the parents aren't you know, doing right by them.
1:00:57
Speaker 2: My son could be at home with his eighteen year
1:00:59
Speaker 2: old brother and they could get into a fistfight any
1:01:01
Speaker 2: other day of the week. But he doesn't have that
1:01:05
Speaker 2: same capability with these kids that he thinks maybe are
1:01:08
Speaker 2: his friends, and he doesn't want to fight with them
1:01:12
Speaker 2: because he wants to keep them as friends. So he
1:01:15
Speaker 2: doesn't want to go to He.
1:01:17
Speaker 3: May be willing to do anything for them to be
1:01:19
Speaker 3: his friend and to not treat him.
1:01:21
Speaker 2: Bad and not say something to the teachers. He doesn't
1:01:25
Speaker 2: want to put them out there because then they'd be
1:01:28
Speaker 2: getting in trouble at home. And that's the biggest thing
1:01:31
Speaker 2: about kids these days is that it's more important to
1:01:33
Speaker 2: them to have that social group than it is to
1:01:38
Speaker 2: keep dealing with people calling them names, right and them
1:01:42
Speaker 2: having them being hurt when they get home, knowing that
1:01:44
Speaker 2: these kids are just talking smack about them.
1:01:49
Speaker 1: And there are children who have given up on the
1:02:01
Speaker 1: hope that they're going to be welcomed into that tribe,
1:02:07
Speaker 1: that circle, that network of friends, they're going to be accepted,
1:02:16
Speaker 1: they're going to stand up for themselves at some point
1:02:20
Speaker 1: and be respected. They've given up hope on that, and
1:02:26
Speaker 1: what gets instilled is the loss of hope and then
1:02:34
Speaker 1: in incredibly deep hatred and resentment toward frankly, everybody and everything.
1:02:45
Speaker 1: And then they show up at the school and harm
1:02:48
Speaker 1: as many people as they can in as short of
1:02:53
Speaker 1: a period.
1:02:54
Speaker 2: And that's why you have active shooters.
1:02:58
Speaker 1: Everybody, every human being on this planet has the capacity
1:03:06
Speaker 1: to reach a breaking point and react, whether it's physically
1:03:17
Speaker 1: or verbally. My god, am I guilty of that right here?
1:03:23
Speaker 1: One hundred? But how do we tap the brakes on this?
1:03:33
Speaker 2: You work together, you organize celeboratively, you organize organically.
1:03:43
Speaker 1: You're doing that today right here, right now. I can't
1:03:50
Speaker 1: think of ten, fifteen, twenty moms that are lined up,
1:03:57
Speaker 1: will in to commit or dad's willing to commit here,
1:04:00
Speaker 1: sit on the couch on a camera and air this
1:04:04
Speaker 1: out like yourselves. We need more of that, not trouble makers,
1:04:14
Speaker 1: not agitators, but rather people that are saying, look, we
1:04:20
Speaker 1: have a real legitimate issue here and it's not just
1:04:25
Speaker 1: your kid, and it's not just your school. We have
1:04:31
Speaker 1: a real problem here and this needs to be addressed
1:04:34
Speaker 1: and dealt with. How do we do that? Is it
1:04:38
Speaker 1: a town hall? Is it they aired out podcast? Is it?
1:04:45
Speaker 1: I mean? Is it the Times argus? How do we
1:04:49
Speaker 1: how do we do this?
1:04:50
Speaker 3: Is it?
1:04:52
Speaker 1: Yeah? What's going on with that?
1:04:55
Speaker 2: There's always another step, there's always another way that you
1:04:58
Speaker 2: can address this. But how far you want to go?
1:05:01
Speaker 2: Do you think that it's just the school system that
1:05:03
Speaker 2: needs to be accountable for these issues that these kids
1:05:09
Speaker 2: are going through? Or should us as parents find a
1:05:13
Speaker 2: way to find a better solution? And I think the
1:05:17
Speaker 2: first step really is just getting the parents together to
1:05:20
Speaker 2: say we've had enough. There needs to be a change,
1:05:25
Speaker 2: because if there isn't a change, this is just going
1:05:28
Speaker 2: to end up going a lot farther than you want
1:05:31
Speaker 2: it to go.
1:05:32
Speaker 1: I think there needs to be more than just I'm
1:05:38
Speaker 1: echoing what you're saying. More than just you, but several
1:05:41
Speaker 1: parents that reach out to Sweethearts and Heroes and say,
1:05:47
Speaker 1: what do we have to do to get you guys
1:05:51
Speaker 1: to come into these schools? And I've asked that question,
1:05:56
Speaker 1: and you know, slim down version, what I've been told
1:06:02
Speaker 1: is we have to be invited. Well, we have to
1:06:07
Speaker 1: be asked to come. We can't invite ourselves.
1:06:14
Speaker 2: So then the first question is to the school district
1:06:18
Speaker 2: for Washington County, could you please invite sweetheart and Heroes
1:06:23
Speaker 2: to Washington School District to our schools to help make
1:06:27
Speaker 2: a change for bullying.
1:06:29
Speaker 4: Verry Town and Berry City.
1:06:32
Speaker 2: And even the Spalding Yeah, because it's needed. We can't
1:06:37
Speaker 2: just look at the younger kids. We also need to
1:06:39
Speaker 2: look at the high school.
1:06:40
Speaker 1: Have you thought about going to the school board?
1:06:43
Speaker 2: Not yet, but I've when I wrote the emails, I
1:06:48
Speaker 2: sent all the emails all the way up. But again,
1:06:51
Speaker 2: I would rather have this be something that more than
1:06:55
Speaker 2: just one parent or one parent and her sister, which
1:06:59
Speaker 2: is also other parents feel that this is necessary. This
1:07:05
Speaker 2: needs to be heard by more than one person. But
1:07:07
Speaker 2: if the superintendent is listening or the board is listening.
1:07:13
Speaker 2: We're just asking invite them find another solution, and that's
1:07:19
Speaker 2: a solution that could be done easily just by asking.
1:07:25
Speaker 1: Thank you both for coming in here, Thank.
1:07:28
Speaker 4: You for having us JD.
1:07:29
Speaker 2: Thank you very much.
1:07:32
Speaker 1: Or we going to get you back in here and
1:07:36
Speaker 1: maybe do an update. Sure, okay, I would like that.
1:07:42
Speaker 1: I would like that. I would also love to have
1:07:46
Speaker 1: someone from Sweethearts and Heroes come in and sit with
1:07:50
Speaker 1: you on that couch. Maybe we can make that happen.
1:07:54
Speaker 2: Sounds great, great.
1:07:56
Speaker 1: Thank you both again so much for coming in here.
1:07:59
Speaker 1: You appreciate you very much, and our community does for
1:08:03
Speaker 1: saying it like it is. And not everybody is going
1:08:06
Speaker 1: to agree with every single word that's come out of
1:08:09
Speaker 1: both of your mouths or mine, but at least, and
1:08:13
Speaker 1: that is okay, at least we're having this discussion. Great
1:08:16
Speaker 1: stuff today. Thank you both again so much. Remember if
1:08:20
Speaker 1: you like the podcast, tell your friends, follow the page,
1:08:23
Speaker 1: give it a like, give it a comment, give it
1:08:25
Speaker 1: a share. This kind of stuff needs to be talking
1:08:27
Speaker 1: about people. We're going to do it again tomorrow morning,
1:08:29
Speaker 1: Sweethearts and Heroes on the air with me right here
1:08:32
Speaker 1: on air. It out.
1:09:15
Speaker 5: Us school, un
1:10:00
Speaker 3: Do