Latest / 5–Minute Parenting: Tips to Help You Raise Competent, Godly Kids. / How to Get Your Child to Really Talk to You

Transcript

How to Get Your Child to Really Talk to You · 5–Minute Parenting: Tips to Help You Raise Competent, Godly Kids.

• 0:31
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to another episode of 5-Minute Parenting.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_00: Today our topic is how to get your child to really talk to you.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_00: Now that school is back in session for most of our children, I'm sure as parents we'd all like to know about their life at school.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_00: Do they like it?
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_00: What are they learning?
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_00: Are there problems they are having?
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_00: Etc.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_00: etc.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_00: etc.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_00: I'm sure many of you can identify with the following.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_00: My question to my former 10-year-old daughter.
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_00: How was school today?
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, I guess.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_00: Just okay?
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_00: Or what did you do in school today?
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_00: Stuff?
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_00: Well, what kind of stuff?
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, kind of boring stuff.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_00: Let me suggest that instead of simply asking, how was school today or what did you do in school today?
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_00: Try some of the following questions.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_00: Number one, what's something new you learned to do in school today?
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_00: Number two, what's something fun that happened at school today?
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_00: Or what's something funny that happened?
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_00: Or something that made you sad or angry?
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_00: Tell me about it.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_00: Number three, how would you rate your day to day?
• 1:41
  SPEAKER_00: One, great.
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_00: Two, good, three, okay, four, below average, five, awful.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_00: For a younger child, you might draw or cut out a few faces that show different emotions and have them choose the one that matches how their day was.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_00: Then ask, how did you choose that one to describe your day?
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_00: Or what happened today that made you choose that one?
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_00: Number five, did someone say something nice or do something nice for you today?
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_00: 6.
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_00: Did you say something nice or do something nice for someone else today?
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_00: 7.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_00: Did you make a new friend today?
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_00: Tell me about them.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_00: 8.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_00: Is there something you're learning that you feel you don't understand and need more help with?
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_00: 9.
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_00: What do you like about your teacher or teachers?
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_00: 10.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_00: What's one thing that would make each school day a little better?
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_00: Having good conversation starters can work for all ages.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_00: Perhaps start a list of your own ideas that you can use to spark a conversation with your child.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_00: Of course that will depend on their age and their relationship with you.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_00: And when our child does come to us on his own or her own and wants to talk, we need to listen wholeheartedly.
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_00: If possible, we should stop what we are doing, look them in the eye, and focus on them.
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_00: We all know that that's not always possible, but we can make an effort or we can make an appointment with them as soon as possible to sit down and talk.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_00: You could say something like this, I really want to hear what you have to say, but right now I'm in the middle of blank.
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_00: Could we talk in an hour or half an hour when I can give you my full attention?
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_00: Begin by praying that God will help you be a good listener and that your child will feel free to talk with you about their experiences at school, good or bad.
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes they may just need us to listen and not offer advice.
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_00: At other times, they may be open to our suggestions.
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_00: If we're always trying to give them advice or solve their problems, they may clam up and not want to talk with us.
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_00: Perhaps ask them if they'd like to hear a suggestion from you after they share.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_00: If they say no, just give them a hug and tell them you're always there just to listen.
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_00: And don't forget to pray for them every day.
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_00: If you missed my five minute parenting podcast last week, check it out for ways you can pray for your child as they go back to school.