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05 - William Tell Told Again by P G Wodehouse · William Tell Told Again

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  Speaker 1: Chapter nine. For many minutes the fight raged furiously round
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  Speaker 1: the pole, and the earth shook beneath the iron boots
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  Speaker 1: of Friezehart and Luthold as they rushed about, striking out
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  Speaker 1: right and left with their fists and the flats of
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  Speaker 1: their pikes. Seppi the Cowboy, an ancestor by the way
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  Speaker 1: of Buffalo Bill, went down before a tremendous blow by
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  Speaker 1: Frieshart and Luthold knocked Klaus Fonder flew head over heels.
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  Speaker 1: What do you want? Said Arnold of Sewa, who had
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  Speaker 1: seen the beginning of the fight from the window of
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  Speaker 1: his cottage and had hurried to join it, And as
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  Speaker 1: usual to give advice to everybody. What you want here
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  Speaker 1: is Geile. That's what you want. Geile cunning, not brute force.
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  Speaker 1: Mind you, it's no good rushing at a man in
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  Speaker 1: armor and hitting him. He only hits you back. You
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  Speaker 1: should employ geile. Thus observe. He had said these words,
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  Speaker 1: standing on the outskirts of the crowd. He now grasped
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  Speaker 1: his cudgel and began to steal slowly towards Friezhart, who
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  Speaker 1: had just given Vernie the huntsman. Such I hit with
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  Speaker 1: his pike that the sound of it was still echoing
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  Speaker 1: in the mountains, and was now busily engaging in disposing
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  Speaker 1: of jost Viler. Arnold of Siwah crept stealthily behind him
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  Speaker 1: and was just about to bring his cudgel down on
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  Speaker 1: his head when Luthold, catching sight of him, saved his
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  Speaker 1: comrade by driving his pike with all his force into
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  Speaker 1: Arnold's side. Arnold said afterwards that it completely took his
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  Speaker 1: breath away. He rolled over, and, after being trodden on
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  Speaker 1: by everybody for some minutes, got up and limped back
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  Speaker 1: to his cottage, where he went straight to bed and
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  Speaker 1: did not get up for two days. All this time,
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  Speaker 1: Tale had been standing a little way off with his
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  Speaker 1: arms folded, looking on while it was a quarrel simply
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  Speaker 1: between himself and Friezehart. He did not mind fighting, but
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  Speaker 1: when the crowd joined and he felt it was not
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  Speaker 1: fair to help so many men attack one, however badly
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  Speaker 1: that one might have behaved, He now saw that the
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  Speaker 1: time had come to put an end to the disturbance.
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  Speaker 1: He drew an arrow from his quiver, placed it in
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  Speaker 1: his crossbow, and pointed it at the hat. Friezehart, seeing
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  Speaker 1: what he intended, to do, uttered a shout of horror
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  Speaker 1: and rushed to stop him, But at that moment somebody
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  Speaker 1: in the crowd hit him so hard with a spade
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  Speaker 1: that his helmet was knocked over his eyes, and before
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  Speaker 1: he could raise it again, the deed was done. Through
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  Speaker 1: the cap and through the pole, and out at the
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  Speaker 1: other side sped the arrow, and the first thing he
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  Speaker 1: saw when he opened his eyes was Tell standing beside him,
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  Speaker 1: twirling his mustache, while all around the crowd danced and
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  Speaker 1: shouted and threw their caps into the air with joy.
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  Speaker 1: A mere trifle, said Tell, modestly. The crowd cheered again
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  Speaker 1: and again. Frie's Heart and Luthhold lay on the ground
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  Speaker 1: beside the pole, feeling very sore and bruised, and thought
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  Speaker 1: that perhaps on the whole they had better stay there.
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  Speaker 1: There was no knowing what the crowd might do after
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  Speaker 1: this if they began to fight again, so they lay
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  Speaker 1: on the ground and made no attempt to interfere with
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  Speaker 1: the popular rejoicings what they wanted. As Arnold de Siua
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  Speaker 1: might have said if he had been there was a
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  Speaker 1: few moments complete rest. Luthold's helmet had been hammered with
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  Speaker 1: sticks until it was over his eyes and all out
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  Speaker 1: of shape, and Free's hearts was very little better, and
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  Speaker 1: they both felt just as if they had been run
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  Speaker 1: over in the street by a horse and cart. Tell
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  Speaker 1: shouted the crowd. Hurrah for Tell, good old Tell Tells.
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  Speaker 1: The boy roared ull Rick the smith. Not another man
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  Speaker 1: in Switzerland could have made that shot. No, shrieked everybody.
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  Speaker 1: Not another speech, cried someone from the edge of the crowd.
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  Speaker 1: Speech speech, Tell speech. Everybody took up the cry. No, no,
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  Speaker 1: said Tell, blushing. Go on, go on, shouted the crowd.
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  Speaker 1: Oh I couldn't, said tell. I don't know what to say. Anything,
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  Speaker 1: will do speech speech all Rick the Smith and Ruoti
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  Speaker 1: the fisherman hoisted tail onto their shoulders, and having coughed
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  Speaker 1: once or twice, he said, gentlemen. Cheers from the crowd.
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  Speaker 1: Gentlemen said tell again, this is the proudest moment of
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  Speaker 1: my life. More cheers. I don't know what you want
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  Speaker 1: me to talk about. I have never made a speech before.
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  Speaker 1: Excuse my emotion. This is the proudest moment of my life.
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  Speaker 1: To day is a great day for Switzerland. We have
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  Speaker 1: struck the first blow of the revolution. Let us strike
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  Speaker 1: some more shouts of hear hear from the crowd, Many
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  Speaker 1: of them, misunderstanding Tell's last remark, proceeded to hit Luthold
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  Speaker 1: and Friestart, until stop by cries of order from Ulric
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  Speaker 1: the Smith. Gentlemen continued Tell. The flood gates of revolution
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  Speaker 1: have been opened. From this day they will stalk through
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  Speaker 1: the land, burning to ashes the slough of oppression which
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  Speaker 1: our tyrant governor has erected in our midst. I have
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  Speaker 1: only to add that this is the proudest moment of
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  Speaker 1: my life. And he was interrupted by a frightened voice.
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  Speaker 1: Look out, you chaps, said the voice. Here comes the Governor. Gessler,
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  Speaker 1: with a bodyguard of armed men, had entered the meadow
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  Speaker 1: and was galloping towards them. Chapter ten. Gessler came riding
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  Speaker 1: up on his brown horse, and the crowd melted away
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  Speaker 1: in all directions, for there was no knowing what the
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  Speaker 1: governor might not do if he found them plotting. They
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  Speaker 1: were determined to rebel and to throw off his tyrannous yoke,
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  Speaker 1: but they preferred to do it quietly and comfortably when
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  Speaker 1: he was nowhere near. So they ran away to the
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  Speaker 1: edge of the meadow and stood there in groups, waiting
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  Speaker 1: to see what was going to happen. Not even Ulric
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  Speaker 1: the smith and Ruodi the fishermen waited, though they knew
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  Speaker 1: quite well that Tell had not nearly finished his speech.
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  Speaker 1: They set the orator down and began to walk away,
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  Speaker 1: trying to look as if they had been doing nothing
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  Speaker 1: in particular, and we're going to go on doing it,
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  Speaker 1: only somewhere else. Tell was left standing alone in the
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  Speaker 1: middle of the meadow by the pole. He scorned to
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  Speaker 1: run away like the others, but he did not at
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  Speaker 1: all like the look of things. Gessler was a stern man,
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  Speaker 1: quick to punish any insult. And there were two of
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  Speaker 1: his soldiers lying on the ground with their nice armor
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  Speaker 1: all spoiled and dented, and his own cap on top
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  Speaker 1: of the pole had an arrow right through the middle
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  Speaker 1: of it and would never look the same again, however
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  Speaker 1: much it might be patched. It seemed to tell that
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  Speaker 1: there was a bad time coming. Gessler rode up and
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  Speaker 1: reined in his horse. Now then, now then, now then,
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  Speaker 1: he said, in his quick, abrupt way, what's this? What's this?
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  Speaker 1: What's this? When a man repeats what he says three times,
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  Speaker 1: you can see that he is not in a good temper.
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  Speaker 1: Freeze Heart and Luthold got up, saluted, and limped slowly
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  Speaker 1: towards him. They halted beside his horse and stood to attention.
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  Speaker 1: The tears trickled down their cheeks. Come, come, come, said Gessler,
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  Speaker 1: tell me all about it, and he padded Frishart on
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  Speaker 1: the head. Friezehart bellowed. Gessler beckoned to one of his courtiers,
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  Speaker 1: Have you a handkerchief? He said, I have a handkerchief,
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  Speaker 1: Your Excellency, then dry this man's eyes. The courtier did
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  Speaker 1: as he was bidden. Now said Gessler. When the drying
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  Speaker 1: was done and Friishart's tears had seized, What has been
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  Speaker 1: happening here? I heard a cry of help as I
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  Speaker 1: came up. Who cried help? Please Your Lordship's noble excellency, ship,
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  Speaker 1: said Frieshart. It was me, Freezehart. You should say it
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  Speaker 1: was I, said Gessler, proceed which I am a loyal
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  Speaker 1: servant of your excellencies and in your Excellency's army. And
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  Speaker 1: seeing as how I was told to stand by this
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  Speaker 1: year poll and guard that there hat, I stood by
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  Speaker 1: this year bull and guarded that there hat all day
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  Speaker 1: I did, your Excellency, And when up comes this man
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  Speaker 1: here and I says to him, bow down to the hat.
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  Speaker 1: I says, ho. He says to me, ho, indeed, and
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  Speaker 1: he passed on without so much as nodding. So I
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  Speaker 1: takes my pike and I taps him on the head
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  Speaker 1: to remind him, as you might say, that there was
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  Speaker 1: something he was forgetting. And he ups and hits me,
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  Speaker 1: he does, and then the crowd runs up with their
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  Speaker 1: sticks and hits me and Luthold cruel, your excellency. And
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  Speaker 1: while we was a fighting with them, this here man
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  Speaker 1: am I telling you about your excellence. See he outs
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  Speaker 1: with an arrow, puts it into his bow and sends
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  Speaker 1: it through the hat. And I don't see how you'll
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  Speaker 1: ever be able to wear it again. It's a waste
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  Speaker 1: of a good hat, your excellency, that's what it is.
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  Speaker 1: And then the people they puts me in Luthold on
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  Speaker 1: the ground and hoist this here man Tell. They call
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  Speaker 1: him up on their shoulders, and he starts making a speech,
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  Speaker 1: when up you comes, your excellency. That's how it all was.
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  Speaker 1: Gessler turned pale with rage and glared fiercely at Tell,
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  Speaker 1: who stood before him in the grasp of two of
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  Speaker 1: the bodyguard. Ah. He said, Tell, is it good day
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  Speaker 1: to you? Tell I think we've met before. Tell ay, tell,
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  Speaker 1: we have your excellency. It was in the ravena sheche
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  Speaker 1: Sheenthal said, Tell firmly, your memory is good. Tell so
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  Speaker 1: is mine. I think you made a few remarks to
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  Speaker 1: me on that occasion. Tell a few chatty remarks. Ay, tell,
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  Speaker 1: very possibly, your excellency, you were hardly polite. Tell if
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  Speaker 1: I offended you, I am sorry. I am glad to
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  Speaker 1: hear it. Tell. I think you will be even sorwyer
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  Speaker 1: before long. So you've been ill treating my soldiers. Eh,
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  Speaker 1: it was not I who touched them. Oh, so you
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  Speaker 1: didn't touch them. Ah, But you defied my power by
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  Speaker 1: refusing to bow down to the hat. I set up
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  Speaker 1: that hat to prove the people's loyalty. I am afraid
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  Speaker 1: you are not loyal. Tell, I was a little thoughtless,
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  Speaker 1: not disloyal. I passed the hat without thinking. You should
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  Speaker 1: always think. Tell, it is very dangerous not to do so.
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  Speaker 1: And I suppose that you shot your arrow through the
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  Speaker 1: hat without thinking. I was a little carried away by excitement,
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  Speaker 1: Your excellency, dear, dear, carried away by excitement? Were you?
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  Speaker 1: You must really be more careful. Tell one of these
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  Speaker 1: days you will be getting yourself into trouble. But it
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  Speaker 1: seems to have been a very fine shot. You are
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  Speaker 1: a capital marksman. I believe father's the best in all Switzerland,
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  Speaker 1: piped a youthful voice. He can hit an apple on
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  Speaker 1: a tree a hundred yards away. I've seen him, can't you.
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  Speaker 1: Father Walter, who had run away when the fighting began,
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  Speaker 1: had returned. On seeing his father in the hands of
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  Speaker 1: the soldiers, Gessler turned a cold eye upon him. Who
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  Speaker 1: is this, he asked, end of Chapter ten.