Latest / Scrubbing In with Becca Tilley & Tanya Rad / Dear Banya: Hold Out for Love

Transcript

Dear Banya: Hold Out for Love · Scrubbing In with Becca Tilley & Tanya Rad

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Scrubbing In with Beta Tilly and Tanya rad and iHeartRadio
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: and two times People's Choice Award winning podcast.
• 0:11
  Speaker 2: Hello everybody, we are scrubbing in.
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: Scrub a dub dub in the club.
• 0:21
  Speaker 2: The club club, Okay, in the club. We're not in
• 0:23
  Speaker 2: the tub, We're in the club.
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: Were in the club, Bott You thought you were done
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: with us for the week, but we came back because
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: we were here. And we got a dear bonya email
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: that was specifically emailed to Mark and myself, So.
• 0:37
  Speaker 2: Saving questions for you and I in the body of
• 0:39
  Speaker 2: the email.
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and you know I forgot to mention to you
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: that I started my natural nail journey.
• 0:45
  Speaker 2: Thank god we came back from Thank god we came back.
• 0:48
  Speaker 2: Believe this on Monday, I know, whatever it was.
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: So, I felt that my nails haven't seen the light
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: of day since I was probably fifteen years old, Wow,
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: maybe sixteen. I don't know when you start doing the manicures. Okay,
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: sixteen seventeen.
• 1:01
  Speaker 2: I don't know a lot about this stuff. Somebody asked
• 1:03
  Speaker 2: some stupid questions. I'm sorry.
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: So I did acrylic for like the longest time, meaning
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: they put like this powder on the nails, and it
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: like makes them longer and thicker and stronger. But I'm
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: like this, all these chemicals and stuff cannot be good
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: to just be like seeping into my whatever nail beds, right, Okay, decades.
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: So I've been wanting to go on this natural nail
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: journey for a while, but it was like my wedding honeymoon.
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: I was like, I can't have like I just need
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: to keep it going until my honeymoon's over.
• 1:36
  Speaker 2: Then my honeymoon honeymoon tint h happened.
• 1:38
  Speaker 1: No, well no, that was like honeymoon's over.
• 1:40
  Speaker 2: Oh okay, it's time, got.
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: It, It is time.
• 1:44
  Speaker 2: So what I'm looking at now, those don't look like
• 1:46
  Speaker 2: natural nails to me.
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: So I have one layer of nail polish on, okay,
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: and that I kind of do it in phases. Oh,
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: because your nails get so damaged from all this other
• 1:57
  Speaker 1: like stuff that when you raw dog your nails after
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: they look very like cut up and like white, like
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: freckly white. I don't even know how to explain it,
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: they just look damage. So I can't just raw dog
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: straight from my like gel builder to nothing. So this
• 2:18
  Speaker 1: is like phase two of phasing into my natural nails.
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: So this is just one coat of bubble bath and
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: then I guess next month I will maybe do a
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: clear coat. I guess it takes three months to like
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: grow your nails back allegedly, so.
• 2:35
  Speaker 2: Maybe a natural November is what where you have to
• 2:37
  Speaker 2: look forward looking like natural November.
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: Yeah, if I stay on the path, I'm not loving it.
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: So who knows it's hard for you. It's been decades, decades,
• 2:45
  Speaker 1: and I used to have long nails, Like my nails
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: used to be like super long, like I could like
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: scratch my head, like I can't do anything. But these
• 2:51
  Speaker 1: these little nubs, they're just like little nubs.
• 2:53
  Speaker 2: Fine, they look like just like normal human hands. That's okay, thanks,
• 2:57
  Speaker 2: They don't look like boy hands or anything.
• 2:59
  Speaker 1: Yeah, they feel a little boy to me. And also
• 3:01
  Speaker 1: I just feel like nails always made me feel put together,
• 3:03
  Speaker 1: like you know, just polish. So it's really just a
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: transitional period.
• 3:08
  Speaker 2: But Kanya, we're with you. Yeah, we support you in
• 3:11
  Speaker 2: this journey and we wish you nothing but the best.
• 3:14
  Speaker 2: Thank you.
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: I don't know if I'm going to make.
• 3:15
  Speaker 2: It, But and then what happens, say twenty six we
• 3:18
  Speaker 2: go back to full on acrylics, no that's done.
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: The natural nail journey is like, oh, to be a
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: natural nail girly. The destination is natural nail girl.
• 3:26
  Speaker 2: Woh n ng nng. Yeah. Wow.
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: I also heard it's like easier when you become a mom,
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: Like you're not going and getting like your gel manicure
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: every three So.
• 3:37
  Speaker 2: No more gels, no more acrylics, natural nails for the
• 3:41
  Speaker 2: rest of your life.
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: That's the goal.
• 3:43
  Speaker 2: Wow.
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: I don't know if I'm going to get there.
• 3:45
  Speaker 2: This is a big deal.
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: I don't know if I'm going to get there because
• 3:47
  Speaker 1: what's happening right now, is not it?
• 3:49
  Speaker 2: Yeah? I think it looks fine. Oh all right, this
• 3:53
  Speaker 2: is from KK working mom or stay at home mom.
• 3:56
  Speaker 2: That's the question you're asking us, Dear b e MT
• 4:00
  Speaker 2: you got yeah, top lowest billing on that one. Really, yep,
• 4:04
  Speaker 2: as I right you. Today, I'm officially half baked with
• 4:07
  Speaker 2: my first baby boy Becca. I miss being garden baked
• 4:11
  Speaker 2: and Tanya, I can't wait for you to bake your
• 4:13
  Speaker 2: own bun soon. A lot of baking, a lot of
• 4:15
  Speaker 2: mixing of baking puns. There, yes, Tanya, what before you continue?
• 4:19
  Speaker 1: I have a friend who listens who did not know
• 4:23
  Speaker 1: what gardening meant yes, and she sent me a video
• 4:27
  Speaker 1: of like how she used to think it was like
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: so cute that like Becca had a little like hobby,
• 4:33
  Speaker 1: and then it was a big hat.
• 4:35
  Speaker 2: Yes.
• 4:36
  Speaker 1: I have to re listen to the voicemail for the
• 4:39
  Speaker 1: message she said, because it was so funny, the like
• 4:41
  Speaker 1: path she went down of like, oh, it's cute gardening,
• 4:43
  Speaker 1: and then she she realized it was like a something else.
• 4:46
  Speaker 1: She thought it was like something sexual, and then she
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: was like, oh, her friend Taylor Banks came over in
• 4:49
  Speaker 1: the gardens, it's not something sexual, and then she like
• 4:53
  Speaker 1: figured it out.
• 4:54
  Speaker 2: I can't imagine what the sexual gardener.
• 4:56
  Speaker 1: Would be, but okay, yeah, so anyways, a little bit
• 4:59
  Speaker 1: about that.
• 5:00
  Speaker 2: I've been so fortunate to have a beautiful pregnancy and
• 5:03
  Speaker 2: I love this season of life. Now that I'm halfway there,
• 5:05
  Speaker 2: I'm starting to think more about what life will look
• 5:06
  Speaker 2: like after my baby makes his debut. I currently work
• 5:09
  Speaker 2: full time in higher education. I really like my job,
• 5:12
  Speaker 2: but it's mediocre pay and crazy hours depending on the
• 5:14
  Speaker 2: time of year. My husband has a good job. It
• 5:17
  Speaker 2: doesn't make enough for me to fully quit nor what
• 5:19
  Speaker 2: I really want to. At the same time, I can't
• 5:21
  Speaker 2: imagine working the schedule I do now, knowing my baby
• 5:24
  Speaker 2: is at daycare without me all day. My dream would
• 5:26
  Speaker 2: be to find a part time job that pays the
• 5:28
  Speaker 2: bills and keeps my brain stimulated, but gives me the
• 5:30
  Speaker 2: flexibility to be with my baby as much as possible.
• 5:32
  Speaker 2: But is that what I really want? Tanya? How does
• 5:35
  Speaker 2: a modern woman like you see the stage of your
• 5:37
  Speaker 2: life planning out? Mark? What did you and Amy do
• 5:40
  Speaker 2: when the girls were young? Love you all? XOXOKK wow.
• 5:46
  Speaker 1: First of all, KK, congratulations, congratulations KK. That's very very exciting.
• 5:52
  Speaker 1: I think that a modern woman does whatever she wants.
• 5:56
  Speaker 1: That's really it. There's really no right or wrong I
• 5:59
  Speaker 1: think you can have. I obviously have a preconceived notion
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: of what I think it's going to look like for me,
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: which is I want to be a working I want
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: to be a working mom. I want to have a career,
• 6:12
  Speaker 1: and I want to have babies. That's like the ultimate
• 6:14
  Speaker 1: goal for me. I have yet I haven't experienced it yet,
• 6:20
  Speaker 1: so I don't know. I think people say things shift
• 6:23
  Speaker 1: in you, like when you have your baby your priority.
• 6:26
  Speaker 1: Everybody says like you get you know, you have a
• 6:27
  Speaker 1: baby and your priorities change. I think for me, I
• 6:33
  Speaker 1: have seen so many women give up their careers and
• 6:38
  Speaker 1: fully just immerse into being mom, which is so beautiful.
• 6:42
  Speaker 1: But then there comes a point where the kids grow
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: up and I'm not even talking like eighteen, where they're
• 6:47
  Speaker 1: like fully adults. Like, there comes a point where your
• 6:50
  Speaker 1: kids are more self sufficient and they get cars and
• 6:53
  Speaker 1: you know, they don't need you as much, and then
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: they don't know what to do with themselves and that's
• 6:57
  Speaker 1: when like trouble in the marriage happens and all that
• 7:01
  Speaker 1: kind of stuff. So as an outsider of somebody who's
• 7:05
  Speaker 1: not experienced it, that is my goal for when it
• 7:09
  Speaker 1: happens when it's my time. But I don't know, because
• 7:11
  Speaker 1: I feel like it might change.
• 7:13
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I know that my wife had a job when
• 7:16
  Speaker 2: the babies were first born, and then she kind of
• 7:20
  Speaker 2: had less fewer and fewer hours, and then she was
• 7:23
  Speaker 2: pretty much just working Saturdays, and I liked and it
• 7:25
  Speaker 2: was great because Saturdays was the day for her to
• 7:27
  Speaker 2: kind of get away because the babies were a lot,
• 7:30
  Speaker 2: and that was my day for daddy daughter day and
• 7:33
  Speaker 2: I really look forward to that. So that kind of
• 7:35
  Speaker 2: worked perfectly. And then we got to a point where
• 7:39
  Speaker 2: the kids were playing soccer and there was no way
• 7:42
  Speaker 2: for my wife to be in two places at once,
• 7:45
  Speaker 2: so she let the job go because she wanted to
• 7:48
  Speaker 2: always be there for the kids. Now, everybody's got to
• 7:51
  Speaker 2: do what they got to do. But if you have
• 7:53
  Speaker 2: the option to be there for your kids, I think
• 7:57
  Speaker 2: your kids will love you for that. I know my
• 8:00
  Speaker 2: kids loved the fact that mom was always there. There
• 8:03
  Speaker 2: was never a thing at school, a thing in the evening,
• 8:06
  Speaker 2: a thing on the weekends that Mom wasn't at. And
• 8:09
  Speaker 2: I know that a lot of people work, and I
• 8:11
  Speaker 2: know you can't be there all the time. And I
• 8:12
  Speaker 2: don't want to make you feel bad about that. I
• 8:14
  Speaker 2: just know that my kids really liked it. So if
• 8:15
  Speaker 2: you have the option, then that would be a good
• 8:18
  Speaker 2: thing for there. She was never not there, my wife.
• 8:20
  Speaker 2: She was always there. And I think you have to
• 8:22
  Speaker 2: look at it from a point of view of regret.
• 8:25
  Speaker 2: Will you regret not spending more time with your kids
• 8:28
  Speaker 2: or not being at all those things with your kids?
• 8:31
  Speaker 2: Maybe will you regret not working more often when your
• 8:35
  Speaker 2: kids were little? I don't think so. And then when
• 8:38
  Speaker 2: the kids got older, my wife found creative ways to
• 8:41
  Speaker 2: work and be part of their lives at the same time.
• 8:43
  Speaker 2: For example, she started working at the school teaching pe
• 8:47
  Speaker 2: so she could be on the kids' schedule and not
• 8:50
  Speaker 2: have to worry about drop off and pick up and
• 8:52
  Speaker 2: all that stuff, because that way she has the exact
• 8:53
  Speaker 2: same schedules of the kids, and she was with them
• 8:55
  Speaker 2: all day and that was wonderful. And then later when
• 8:57
  Speaker 2: they were in high school, she ran the theater boosters
• 9:00
  Speaker 2: for three years, and so she was a part of
• 9:01
  Speaker 2: their lives that way, and the kids loved both of
• 9:04
  Speaker 2: those things. So she was able to kind of do
• 9:07
  Speaker 2: both for a while, which gave her own thing. It
• 9:09
  Speaker 2: got her out of the house, and it also got
• 9:12
  Speaker 2: let her be a part of the kids' lives on
• 9:13
  Speaker 2: a daily basis. So you can figure this out, because
• 9:17
  Speaker 2: it is nice to get out of the house once
• 9:19
  Speaker 2: in a while, especially when they're here.
• 9:21
  Speaker 1: Pros and cons to all of it, you know, Like
• 9:25
  Speaker 1: I I now, like that's like my whole thing is
• 9:28
  Speaker 1: I ask people like when they had babies, how they
• 9:31
  Speaker 1: did it, what they did? Da da da da. I
• 9:33
  Speaker 1: know people who when they had babies, the like the
• 9:36
  Speaker 1: wife stayed home and didn't and you know, stopped working
• 9:41
  Speaker 1: there's benefits to that because then you don't have to
• 9:43
  Speaker 1: like get help or like put them in daycare or
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: do any of that stuff like that. The mom is
• 9:47
  Speaker 1: just there.
• 9:48
  Speaker 2: My mom stayed home until I think I was in
• 9:49
  Speaker 2: middle school maybe, and then you went back to.
• 9:51
  Speaker 1: Work and then but there's an so that is you
• 9:54
  Speaker 1: know that. But then also if you're both working, you
• 9:57
  Speaker 1: need to it creates more challenges because you have to
• 9:59
  Speaker 1: figure out like do you put them in daycare? Do
• 10:01
  Speaker 1: you have help? Like what do you do? Like it
• 10:03
  Speaker 1: creates that whole thing.
• 10:05
  Speaker 2: Are you going to make enough that justifies the expense
• 10:08
  Speaker 2: for daycare or whatever? That may look like?
• 10:10
  Speaker 1: Correct, So it's pros and cons to eat either side.
• 10:14
  Speaker 1: I think like there's again there's no right and wrong.
• 10:17
  Speaker 1: I think for me, I need to have I like
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: really immerse myself into things, like even when it even
• 10:25
  Speaker 1: my career, Like I really just like dive in. When
• 10:27
  Speaker 1: I got my dog, I was like all in and
• 10:29
  Speaker 1: I can get like sucked in and make that my world.
• 10:32
  Speaker 1: And I feel like for me, that's not healthy. Ever,
• 10:37
  Speaker 1: I'll never forget it. When we were you know her,
• 10:40
  Speaker 1: we had a coworker was working at I don't even
• 10:44
  Speaker 1: to say where at the time, and she made her
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: whole identity her job and like where she worked. It
• 10:49
  Speaker 1: was like plastered all over her Instagram. It was like
• 10:51
  Speaker 1: in her bio. And then she got let go and
• 10:54
  Speaker 1: she had like an identity crisis because she was like,
• 10:56
  Speaker 1: who am I If I'm not this right, this girl,
• 10:59
  Speaker 1: and I'll never forget it because I was like I
• 11:01
  Speaker 1: always I never wanted my identity to be about my job,
• 11:05
  Speaker 1: where I work, who I parent my dog, like like
• 11:09
  Speaker 1: any of it. I just want me. I just want
• 11:10
  Speaker 1: to exists as myself. And so I mean some people
• 11:16
  Speaker 1: might come at me and say that's horrible.
• 11:19
  Speaker 2: Well, I don't know if it's realistic, because that scares me.
• 11:21
  Speaker 2: Someday I'm not going to be producer of the Sea question,
• 11:24
  Speaker 2: and I don't know what that looks like. I don't
• 11:26
  Speaker 2: know what that is. I don't know who I am
• 11:27
  Speaker 2: because my mind is always, oh, that's a good idea
• 11:30
  Speaker 2: for the show. And I got notes and I got
• 11:31
  Speaker 2: all this stuff. I got a whole system. Like someday
• 11:33
  Speaker 2: that's not going to be me, and I don't know
• 11:35
  Speaker 2: what that's going to be. Like it's scary to me.
• 11:37
  Speaker 1: Really, Yeah, But there's so many more layers to you.
• 11:41
  Speaker 2: I guess, but that's the point is I don't know
• 11:43
  Speaker 2: if there are anymore.
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: You're a husband, You're a dad.
• 11:46
  Speaker 2: Yeah, You're a friend, yeah.
• 11:48
  Speaker 1: Family member, Yeah, passionate about hikes and dogs.
• 11:54
  Speaker 2: And baseball and baseball. Yeah, I suppose. I'm not sure
• 11:58
  Speaker 2: that's enough to be a fully functioning year.
• 12:01
  Speaker 1: We'll get on it now.
• 12:02
  Speaker 2: Okay, that's your homework, all right? Yeah, all right?
• 12:05
  Speaker 1: Yeah?
• 12:06
  Speaker 2: Do you think we helped KK?
• 12:08
  Speaker 1: Probably not?
• 12:09
  Speaker 2: Probably not?
• 12:09
  Speaker 1: Yeah, who tried?
• 12:11
  Speaker 2: Hey, that's all we can do. Yeah, why don't we
• 12:13
  Speaker 2: take a break and then we'll do some other questions?
• 12:15
  Speaker 1: Okay, one more great.
• 12:35
  Speaker 2: And we're back.
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: That's you.
• 12:39
  Speaker 2: Mark here. I am from Renee, Hi, Becca, Mark, Tanya
• 12:43
  Speaker 2: and Eastern All right, day one scrubber here. I just
• 12:45
  Speaker 2: want to see how much I love the pod. I
• 12:46
  Speaker 2: found that after Becca was on the Bachelor, and I've
• 12:48
  Speaker 2: been hooked ever since. I need a little advice there.
• 12:51
  Speaker 2: We usually moved back to my small hometown in central
• 12:53
  Speaker 2: Indiana to be closer to my family. After ten years
• 12:56
  Speaker 2: away college, dream job teaching kindergarten. Five year relationship ended
• 13:00
  Speaker 2: in January, I decided to come home. I landed another
• 13:03
  Speaker 2: kindergarten job, bought a house, and life feels like it's
• 13:06
  Speaker 2: falling into place. Part of moving back was to eventually
• 13:09
  Speaker 2: raise a family near mine. So I've been keeping an
• 13:11
  Speaker 2: eye out. And the other day I saw a guy
• 13:12
  Speaker 2: I went to high school with pop up on Facebook.
• 13:14
  Speaker 2: He's a year or two older. We weren't close, but
• 13:16
  Speaker 2: it figured, Hey, why not add him?
• 13:18
  Speaker 1: Message him?
• 13:18
  Speaker 2: He added me back quickly after some light stalking. Turns
• 13:21
  Speaker 2: out he's way cuter than I remembered, single, goes to church.
• 13:25
  Speaker 2: Could be a great match. Here's my dilemma. Should I
• 13:28
  Speaker 2: message him? Yes? Would that be weird? Or two forward?
• 13:32
  Speaker 1: No?
• 13:32
  Speaker 2: What would I even say? That's casual but still shows
• 13:35
  Speaker 2: I'm interested? Hey? Or am I overthinking this and should
• 13:38
  Speaker 2: just wait and see if he makes the first move. No,
• 13:40
  Speaker 2: I haven't did it all since the breakup and getting
• 13:42
  Speaker 2: back out there feels intimidating, especially when it seems like
• 13:45
  Speaker 2: all the good ones are taken. Any advice or encouragement
• 13:47
  Speaker 2: would mean so much much love from Renee. You are
• 13:51
  Speaker 2: not even thinking twice about this?
• 13:54
  Speaker 1: Absolutely not. But you know what's funny. I have a
• 13:56
  Speaker 1: friend that's like this, Okay, she doesn't want to do anything. Yeah,
• 14:00
  Speaker 1: she wants the guys to come to her. I'm the
• 14:02
  Speaker 1: complete opposite. I'm like, treat it like a job. If
• 14:06
  Speaker 1: you're like, if you're what am I trying to say,
• 14:11
  Speaker 1: dream job popped up on somewhere? Are you not going
• 14:14
  Speaker 1: to apply?
• 14:14
  Speaker 2: You're gonna hope they message you. This guy could be
• 14:17
  Speaker 2: your dream guy. He could be a scumbag, totally.
• 14:21
  Speaker 1: Out with them.
• 14:21
  Speaker 2: Find out, yes, message him?
• 14:23
  Speaker 1: Message him?
• 14:24
  Speaker 2: Why not?
• 14:24
  Speaker 1: Hey so funny?
• 14:26
  Speaker 2: You popped up?
• 14:27
  Speaker 1: Have you been? Literally so funny? You popped up on
• 14:29
  Speaker 1: my page? Have you been?
• 14:30
  Speaker 2: What do you have to lose? Nothing? If not you? Who?
• 14:34
  Speaker 2: If not? Now? When?
• 14:36
  Speaker 1: If not? Why not?
• 14:39
  Speaker 2: Yes? Why not? I just don't see them? Why not?
• 14:42
  Speaker 1: I don't either.
• 14:43
  Speaker 2: I don't get the whole Like I'll sit back and
• 14:45
  Speaker 2: let him message me.
• 14:45
  Speaker 1: It's the Margaret quality syndrome.
• 14:47
  Speaker 2: What is that exactly? Can you explain? I like Margaret quality.
• 14:49
  Speaker 2: She's a good actress quality. You know.
• 14:51
  Speaker 1: It's like it's like she sam can quote direct. But
• 14:57
  Speaker 1: she basically said that she didn't double text Jack ants,
• 15:00
  Speaker 1: notof that he came to her. YadA YadA, YadA must
• 15:05
  Speaker 1: be nice.
• 15:05
  Speaker 2: YadA, Yada's doing a lot of work. There. I think
• 15:07
  Speaker 2: we need more information here. It is when after said
• 15:11
  Speaker 2: I love you first, Margaret said he did obviously. She
• 15:13
  Speaker 2: says she does not double text or chase people. She says,
• 15:16
  Speaker 2: I'm old school. I would never put myself out there first.
• 15:18
  Speaker 2: I never text twice. I mean, no, I'm married, I
• 15:20
  Speaker 2: can text him whatever. But before we were together, at
• 15:22
  Speaker 2: the beginning, I would always follow southern girl etiquette. That
• 15:25
  Speaker 2: is the anti Tanya. And we're saying that you'd be
• 15:28
  Speaker 2: the aunt ebrenet Yeah, get out there.
• 15:30
  Speaker 1: So was it called southern girl?
• 15:32
  Speaker 2: What southern girl etiquette? Yeah? You know, she's sounds a.
• 15:37
  Speaker 1: Pretty girl etiquette. It must be nice to have.
• 15:39
  Speaker 2: It is like falling all over your over you.
• 15:42
  Speaker 1: No, no, no, I'm not going to text twice. Meanwhile,
• 15:46
  Speaker 1: I'm just like pinging left and right, ping, ping, ping, ping, go.
• 15:49
  Speaker 2: Ahead, poke ping whatever you gotta do on Facebook?
• 15:52
  Speaker 1: Why not?
• 15:53
  Speaker 2: I just don't see the why not?
• 15:55
  Speaker 1: I kissed so many frogs who cares led me to
• 15:57
  Speaker 1: my prins?
• 15:58
  Speaker 2: Fine? On a sim note, a smitten scrubber says, dear
• 16:02
  Speaker 2: Eastern Mark, tiny and Becka in no particular order, A
• 16:05
  Speaker 2: little hope for anyone still waiting for love. A glimpse
• 16:08
  Speaker 2: in how mine unfolded in the most unexpected way. See
• 16:10
  Speaker 2: this is inspiring to Renee. I'm thirty one. I've had
• 16:13
  Speaker 2: my heart broken more times than I can count. After
• 16:15
  Speaker 2: years of healing, I was finally content being single, and
• 16:18
  Speaker 2: of course the cliche proved true. Just when I wasn't looking,
• 16:21
  Speaker 2: love found me. My aunt introduced me to a guy.
• 16:24
  Speaker 2: She knew we had a lot in common and he
• 16:26
  Speaker 2: was incredibly kind. But I wasn't attracted to him at first.
• 16:28
  Speaker 2: No vagina tingles if Tanya would say, oh still, I
• 16:32
  Speaker 2: gave it a chance. After a few dates, I told
• 16:34
  Speaker 2: him I just wanted to be friends. But we kept
• 16:36
  Speaker 2: hanging out and slowly something changed that I got to
• 16:38
  Speaker 2: know him and I got to know his heart. The
• 16:41
  Speaker 2: spark grew. Now six months in, he is the best boyfriend.
• 16:45
  Speaker 2: He's kind, funny, attractive. He makes me feel so safe
• 16:49
  Speaker 2: and yes, the tingles showed up big time. Ladies, give
• 16:54
  Speaker 2: the good guys a chance, or real connection can surprise you.
• 16:57
  Speaker 2: I love you all. Your podcast is the highlight of
• 17:00
  Speaker 2: my week. See last week we had a dear BONDI
• 17:03
  Speaker 2: from somebody who said, should I date my friend? He
• 17:05
  Speaker 2: doesn't give me the tingles. This is the sign tingles
• 17:09
  Speaker 2: can be earned, Tingles could lie dormant. Tanya doesn't agree.
• 17:15
  Speaker 2: You're making the face that you don't agree.
• 17:17
  Speaker 1: I don't agree, but I can't discredit this email. I mean,
• 17:21
  Speaker 1: who am I to discredit someone's email?
• 17:25
  Speaker 2: It worked for a smitten scrubber.
• 17:27
  Speaker 1: A smitten scrubber. I'm happy for you, but I'd like
• 17:30
  Speaker 1: to challenge you a little bit.
• 17:31
  Speaker 2: I think it's true. I think if you have a
• 17:33
  Speaker 2: good guy friend, couldn't that grow into something. You've had
• 17:38
  Speaker 2: good guy friends over the years. Obviously nothing ever grew
• 17:40
  Speaker 2: into something. But else you never made that effort.
• 17:44
  Speaker 1: I don't think I would have had the vagina tingles
• 17:46
  Speaker 1: with any of my good guy friends. I just don't know.
• 17:49
  Speaker 2: I don't know. So we have differing opinions.
• 17:53
  Speaker 1: Here makes the world go around.
• 17:56
  Speaker 2: No, you know it's so true.
• 17:57
  Speaker 1: YEA one man's trash is another man's.
• 18:00
  Speaker 2: We're unanimous on renee. Go for it, ye message him,
• 18:03
  Speaker 2: nothing to lose for everybody else Like last week's scrubber.
• 18:06
  Speaker 2: You know, I say, I say kiss the guy and
• 18:09
  Speaker 2: see what happens. That's what I say.
• 18:11
  Speaker 1: Kiss the guys, see what happens.
• 18:12
  Speaker 2: Sometimes it's not that they're lying dormant, it's just that
• 18:15
  Speaker 2: they're like they need they need to be woken up
• 18:19
  Speaker 2: the tingles. Well, then and a good kiss can wake
• 18:22
  Speaker 2: up the tingles. No, I just don't think so they're
• 18:27
  Speaker 2: just asleep.
• 18:28
  Speaker 1: I just don't think so they don't sleep when they've
• 18:31
  Speaker 1: been awoken.
• 18:32
  Speaker 2: But I think sometimes when you're if you're not thinking
• 18:35
  Speaker 2: of someone that way, there's no tingles, right because it's like,
• 18:40
  Speaker 2: I don't know, there's people in your life that don't
• 18:41
  Speaker 2: give you tingles because you just know them too well.
• 18:43
  Speaker 2: There's no tangles happening because you just do mundane stuff together.
• 18:47
  Speaker 1: Oh wait, I had this far was I I don't
• 18:50
  Speaker 1: know where I was, and I don't know what the
• 18:52
  Speaker 1: context of this was. But somebody asked us. They were like,
• 18:55
  Speaker 1: if you were married and you started to develop feelings
• 18:59
  Speaker 1: for somebody else outside of your marriage, would you tell
• 19:05
  Speaker 1: your partner.
• 19:08
  Speaker 2: Feelings? Like, I think we need to be more specific
• 19:10
  Speaker 2: about feelings.
• 19:11
  Speaker 1: Okay, like you want like you I don't know, I
• 19:15
  Speaker 1: can't remember what this must have come from, some show
• 19:18
  Speaker 1: or something. I'm like blanking on how it came up,
• 19:21
  Speaker 1: but it was something The premise was like this person
• 19:24
  Speaker 1: was married, and I think it was a coworker somebody
• 19:27
  Speaker 1: if they saw often and they started to develop.
• 19:30
  Speaker 2: Is it just like a crush?
• 19:32
  Speaker 1: Yeah, something like that. Okay, they didn't they weren't going
• 19:35
  Speaker 1: to act on it, right obviously, But don't tell your
• 19:39
  Speaker 1: partner that, like, you're starting to feel something for somebody else, Well.
• 19:42
  Speaker 2: I don't if you're not, If you're not going to
• 19:45
  Speaker 2: act on it. Well, what did you answer? What did
• 19:48
  Speaker 2: you say?
• 19:48
  Speaker 1: Well, my whole thing was like, I mean, I've only
• 19:50
  Speaker 1: been married for five months, so I can't like, I
• 19:54
  Speaker 1: can't really speak on it, but I feel like I've
• 19:57
  Speaker 1: been with him for six years and there is a
• 20:00
  Speaker 1: chip in me that switched off the minute I started
• 20:03
  Speaker 1: stating him that would not like, I just can't see
• 20:08
  Speaker 1: that happening to me again. I say this now five months,
• 20:14
  Speaker 1: I've heard.
• 20:14
  Speaker 2: That there's a thing I forget. There's a name for
• 20:16
  Speaker 2: it too, for I'm going to look it up in
• 20:19
  Speaker 2: a minute, but I don't want to take everyone's time
• 20:21
  Speaker 2: doing that. You were a harmless crush on someone in
• 20:24
  Speaker 2: your life, even though you're married. There's a name for it,
• 20:26
  Speaker 2: and I forget what it is, but I've used it
• 20:28
  Speaker 2: before and putting stuff together for the radio show. But anyway,
• 20:32
  Speaker 2: the point is they say it's it's common, it's normal,
• 20:35
  Speaker 2: it's no big deal. But I think if you do
• 20:38
  Speaker 2: confess that to your spouse, it becos it becomes a
• 20:40
  Speaker 2: big deal, right for sure? Right, So would you tell
• 20:45
  Speaker 2: him or not?
• 20:47
  Speaker 1: That's what I'm saying. I'm like, I just can't even
• 20:49
  Speaker 1: put myself in that position because I just again, like
• 20:52
  Speaker 1: I feel like I just turned something off in me
• 20:54
  Speaker 1: where I don't see men Like, yes, I can a
• 20:58
  Speaker 1: hawkeye can walk into the room and I can acknowledge,
• 21:00
  Speaker 1: but oh, like I's hot whatever, But I don't let
• 21:05
  Speaker 1: myself go there.
• 21:06
  Speaker 2: That makes sense.
• 21:07
  Speaker 1: And Robbie is the same way. He's like that that.
• 21:10
  Speaker 1: It's exactly. It's like a switch that you just like
• 21:13
  Speaker 1: switch off. You know.
• 21:17
  Speaker 2: It's an interesting question.
• 21:18
  Speaker 1: Yeah, ponder it. Maybe maybe perhaps we can discuss the
• 21:21
  Speaker 1: next time.
• 21:23
  Speaker 2: I'll look forward to that, all right.
• 21:26
  Speaker 1: All right, that wraps it up for today's Dear Bonya
• 21:29
  Speaker 1: slash Manya slash we out here. Hopefully we will be
• 21:35
  Speaker 1: back next week with Beca Tilly herself.
• 21:38
  Speaker 2: That would be great, that'd be ideal. Maybe even East
• 21:40
  Speaker 1: Maybe even East until then, we love you and goodbye
• 21:46
  Speaker 1: continued