Latest / Founder Talk with Alex Sheridan / Why Ignoring Stress Is Silently Destroying Founders w/ Nick Greco

Transcript

Why Ignoring Stress Is Silently Destroying Founders w/ Nick Greco · Founder Talk with Alex Sheridan

• 0:00
  Nick Greco, thanks for being on the show, man.
• 0:02
  Thank you. Thank you.
• 0:03
  Happy. Conversation.
• 0:04
  Yeah, I appreciate it. And you're founder of C3
• 0:06
  Education and Research. Absolutely yes.
• 0:09
  What you're just saying, yeah, I get I get are you a cop?
• 0:11
  And I get are you in the military sometimes because
• 0:13
  actually my hair's a little bit longer, but right now, but I'll
• 0:16
  get it cut pretty short. The size are short and people
• 0:18
  are like, are you in the military?
• 0:19
  Did you serve? I'm like, no.
• 0:20
  It's one of those things where I, if I had another life, I
• 0:24
  think there might be a military in that life.
• 0:26
  You know, I could see myself getting into that type of stuff.
• 0:28
  Not so much the law enforcement. I thought about it at one time
• 0:30
  because my dad was a cop, but I never, never fully chose that
• 0:35
  path. Or maybe it didn't choose me.
• 0:36
  Yeah, it's in the genes though, right?
• 0:38
  It's it's. You could say it's in the.
• 0:39
  Genes you know well, it's a compliment though, if you get
• 0:42
  that and like. Yeah, I don't mind it.
• 0:43
  Yeah, it's totally fine. Yeah.
• 0:46
  So can you describe what you do in a sentence or two just for
• 0:49
  the audience? I want to kind of set the the
• 0:51
  bar here and then we'll we'll get into this conversation.
• 0:54
  So C3 Education Research is a training education company.
• 0:59
  We do consultation and training with first responders mainly a
• 1:04
  lot of law enforcement between Christ intervention team
• 1:08
  training and officer Wellness as well as suicide prevention.
• 1:13
  We have a whole host of various courses that we offer and not
• 1:17
  just in Illinois and Wisconsin. I've been to about 32 States and
• 1:21
  plus I've also traveled across the world doing training.
• 1:25
  We can talk about where I was at last May a little later.
• 1:28
  But yeah, So what we offer are not off the shelf trainings like
• 1:36
  typically most people do. We have things that are custom
• 1:38
  made and that's what separates us out.
• 1:40
  That's why we have long term relationships with a lot of
• 1:43
  agencies we work with because they know that if their needs
• 1:47
  change, so will our training to to fit their needs.
• 1:50
  So, you know, we don't work for anyone.
• 1:53
  We work with them and that's that's really, really defines us
• 1:57
  is working with the agency and and call them a client.
• 2:01
  Yes, I their agency there are, you know, our relationships are
• 2:05
  very much bound very tightly with these individuals because
• 2:08
  of the work they do. We recognize that and we want to
• 2:11
  help them be the best agency they can.
• 2:16
  I'm excited. There's a lot I want to talk
• 2:18
  about here. And I also I want to, it's my
• 2:20
  job to make sure that I make sure that this conversation is
• 2:23
  also valuable for founders and leaders out there that maybe
• 2:25
  aren't directly in your industry.
• 2:27
  But I think there's just a lot of crossover when you talk about
• 2:29
  how to deal with stress, crisis prevention, there's some
• 2:31
  leadership in here, there's some burnout talks in here.
• 2:34
  There's just your journey as a founder.
• 2:36
  So I think as we have this conversation, I also want to be
• 2:39
  aware of the audience and try to find some crossover
• 2:42
  opportunities there. Especially when you start,
• 2:44
  because I've been in the field for quite some a long time in in
• 2:48
  the mental health field. What I did in 2014 was create C3
• 2:53
  education research because the need was there.
• 2:56
  And I've always been of the mindset that, you know, if I say
• 2:59
  I can do it better, I'm going to.
• 3:01
  And I've seen things out there and I'm like, well, I can do
• 3:04
  this better. I can make a difference.
• 3:07
  And that's what I try to do. And I say of all the experiences
• 3:09
  I've had in my career, being a trainer, being a consultant has
• 3:14
  been the most rewarding. And sure, having your own
• 3:17
  business, being your own boss, it's very rewarding.
• 3:20
  However, two in the morning versus 2:00 PM, there's no
• 3:23
  difference. You know, when you own your own
• 3:24
  company, there are pitfalls when you are when you start up for
• 3:30
  first couple years, you know, there's a lot of people that
• 3:32
  start coming to you and like, hey, can I pick your brain?
• 3:35
  Well, pick your brain only goes so far because before you know
• 3:38
  it, it's half hour here or there and there's nothing for it.
• 3:41
  So you got to be very careful. That's a big pitfall to make
• 3:43
  some money. Well, especially with a lot of
• 3:44
  the young entrepreneurs out there.
• 3:47
  Just be careful how much you give away, you know, curbside
• 3:50
  console, those kind of things. All right, I get it.
• 3:52
  But here's 5 minutes or some call the office.
• 3:54
  Let's schedule something. You know you have to set a
• 3:57
  limit, otherwise you can get pretty much, you know, taken.
• 4:02
  Yes, yeah, I think in the beginning you're kind of trying
• 4:04
  to find customers. You're you maybe have a lot more
• 4:06
  time on your hands because you don't have as many customers.
• 4:08
  So I know for me in the beginning I was just fielding a
• 4:11
  lot of calls. And then as I get became more
• 4:13
  mature as an entrepreneur and I started winning more customers
• 4:16
  and having more service obligations.
• 4:18
  I said I got to make sure every second counts as an entrepreneur
• 4:22
  and be really strict with how I position my calendar and who I
• 4:25
  talked to. And you got to say no or just
• 4:27
  ignore certain messages at times to protect your time.
• 4:31
  Well, and also, you know, if you're available within 510
• 4:35
  minutes, it it makes it look like you're desperate too
• 4:38
  totally. So it it's there's no, nothing
• 4:40
  wrong with getting back to somebody in 2448 hours.
• 4:42
  But when you do it in like half hour, it's like, well, OK,
• 4:46
  you're, you're kind of sending a message that hey, I'm really
• 4:48
  hungry. But there's a point to be
• 4:50
  hungry. But there's also a point to,
• 4:52
  hey, I have something to value here.
• 4:54
  You have to value that as well and just kind of set that limit.
• 4:58
  Totally. The state of, we were talking a
• 5:00
  little bit about this off air, but the state of law enforcement
• 5:04
  right now, I feel like it's really changed.
• 5:06
  You know, my dad, when he got into it, which I think was the
• 5:08
  probably early 90s or late 80s, early 90s, I mean, it was like a
• 5:11
  really great career. Not that it's not today, but it
• 5:14
  was looked at it like, wow, you're a police officer.
• 5:17
  It's like people look up to you. They were aspired to be like
• 5:19
  you. And then I think around maybe
• 5:21
  20/20/2020, things started shifting and defund the police.
• 5:25
  And, you know, there's a lot of kind of negative connotation
• 5:28
  that comes with it now, unfortunately.
• 5:29
  When we look, let me throw some numbers at you.
• 5:33
  How many? How many officer involved
• 5:35
  shootings? We call them OIS.
• 5:37
  How many officer involved shootings are there where an
• 5:38
  officer kills a civilian a year? About 1000 to 1100 total whole
• 5:45
  United States homicide rate. Now that's including if they
• 5:49
  deserved it, if they pulled. It Well, no, no, no, no, no, no,
• 5:51
  no, no. Let's not say deserved it.
• 5:52
  You know, we want to preserve the sanctity of life.
• 5:55
  No one ever deserves to die. What?
• 5:57
  If they pull out a gun though, and they're getting ready to
• 5:58
  shoot innocent people, I think they deserve to be taken out
• 6:01
  right? You know, when we look at police
• 6:04
  officers, the policing profession is a noble
• 6:06
  profession. No one goes into this profession
• 6:09
  as a police officer looking to harm a civilian, right?
• 6:12
  That's the last thing they want to do.
• 6:14
  And you know, when we look back at just various ways that, you
• 6:21
  know, when your dad was a cop or even in even in 30 years ago,
• 6:26
  the idea here is no one wants to take somebody's life.
• 6:30
  For sure. If an officer has to take
• 6:34
  somebody's life, it's because there were no other options.
• 6:36
  And and that's when now if an officer kill someone and it
• 6:41
  wasn't justified, that's for the course to decide if there was
• 6:43
  something that, you know, was there another option?
• 6:47
  A lot of times you're these officers are making millisecond
• 6:50
  decisions if you put you know, that's why I challenge all
• 6:53
  politicians or any of the press or anybody go on something like
• 6:57
  a Milo range, go on a simulator and see the shoot no shoot.
• 7:00
  If you've ever done those I've done those it you have
• 7:04
  milliseconds to make that decision and a lot of people
• 7:08
  aren't prepared to do that and officers are making those
• 7:10
  decisions every day. Going back to my original
• 7:13
  thought here you have about 1000 to 1100 officer involved
• 7:17
  shootings where an officer for whatever reason, there's a
• 7:20
  suicide by cop, the person you know puts a gun up, refused to
• 7:23
  take the gun down. All circumstances, all
• 7:26
  circumstances, anything where an officer had because an officer's
• 7:30
  life was threatened, they had to use lethal force.
• 7:34
  There's about 20,022 thousand homicides depend, depend on
• 7:38
  where you look. Homicides, I mean, civilians
• 7:41
  killing civilians, OK, that's across the country a year.
• 7:44
  A year 20 something, 1000. 20,022 thousand, you know,
• 7:47
  depend on depend on what politician wants to, you know,
• 7:49
  inflate the balloon, right. When you look at that 1000
• 7:54
  officer involved shootings, that's just 18,000 police
• 7:59
  agencies in this country. 1000 officer involved shootings over
• 8:04
  20,000 homicide civilians killing civilians.
• 8:07
  Do you know how many malpractice lawsuits and malpractice cases
• 8:11
  there are in this country a year?
• 8:14
  In general, just with anything. Any medical malpractice?
• 8:18
  Man. Two hundred 250,000 to 400,000 a
• 8:22
  year, yeah, 250,000. So 1/4 of a million, yeah, just
• 8:27
  at the low end quarter. Of a There's a reason to sue
• 8:29
  somebody you know they're going to take advantage of.
• 8:31
  It a lot of yes, very litigious society.
• 8:33
  Fortunately, yeah. Very litigious society.
• 8:35
  However, I have not for once heard anybody in the general
• 8:39
  public or the media or a politician say let's defund the
• 8:43
  doctors, let's defund nurses, and nor should we.
• 8:46
  We should never. That's a good point.
• 8:48
  Take any profession and bastardize it and put you know
• 8:51
  we have about 800 to 900,000 sworn police officers in this
• 8:55
  country across 18,000 agencies. The majority are small agencies.
• 8:58
  There's mid size and large but majority are small.
• 9:01
  Now, when you think about that, they took a profession in 2020.
• 9:08
  You know, when COVID started in March of 2020, everything was
• 9:10
  like, we love our first responders and everything like
• 9:12
  that. And then in what happened in
• 9:15
  Minneapolis at the end of May, it was an isolated incident, but
• 9:20
  then it just ballooned out of control.
• 9:23
  Now you took all these officers and said they're all bad.
• 9:27
  They were taking police shows off the air.
• 9:29
  They were taking the Paw Patrol. I wanted to take Paw Patrol with
• 9:34
  with Chase. Paw Patrol.
• 9:35
  Yeah, yeah, yeah. We got that ear worm right
• 9:37
  there. And it's like, wait a second
• 9:42
  here. You, you went from we love you
• 9:44
  to we hate one group. And why?
• 9:49
  You know, if we look at Minneapolis, they had an
• 9:51
  incident with a a police officer who shot a woman who's from
• 9:56
  Australia, shot her through the car when she had reported a
• 9:59
  crime. Minneapolis was already at a
• 10:02
  defunding to training. Prior to 2020.
• 10:05
  They had defunded $1,000,000. All right, So Minneapolis, part
• 10:09
  of their issue was their training.
• 10:11
  They did not have probably the right training.
• 10:13
  However, when you look at the things that happened in this
• 10:18
  country since 2020, a lot of officers said why do this job?
• 10:23
  Everyone is looking down on us. You look at Illinois with the
• 10:25
  Safety Act that was pushed through at like 4:00 in the
• 10:28
  morning, the 30,000 signatures that were against it were thrown
• 10:33
  out in the middle of the night by re numbering that bill.
• 10:37
  What's the safety actor? Real quickly What?
• 10:38
  Is that the Safety Act is over an 800 page document which has a
• 10:43
  number of things in it. That's like a podcast in and of
• 10:46
  itself. But the Safety Act is where they
• 10:50
  got rid of bail. A number of crimes are not
• 10:56
  felonious anymore. They're reclassified if there
• 11:00
  are certain cases where an individual, if they commit a
• 11:04
  crime, it might be deemed, well, they're not a threat to the
• 11:07
  public. It was only against their wife
• 11:09
  or their husband or, or, or a family member.
• 11:12
  So they're not a threat to their.
• 11:13
  So they let them out and they put them on electronic
• 11:15
  monitoring, which we know electronic monitoring is not the
• 11:19
  best either, but the Safety Act was another issue that doesn't.
• 11:25
  Sound like it should be called the Safety Act.
• 11:27
  Oh, it's most of the time these things, yeah, where it's a
• 11:30
  stimulus act. Society not.
• 11:31
  Safe act is what that. It you have a lot of and what
• 11:35
  cops call it the catch and release act where yeah, catch
• 11:39
  this individual. And you know, I was talking with
• 11:41
  a police officer about 3 weeks ago and she's like, you know,
• 11:45
  she does DUI interdiction and she goes, these people pleaded
• 11:48
  down. She has one case.
• 11:50
  And I go, well, I want you to look at it this way.
• 11:51
  She's only got three years on the job and she's already
• 11:54
  talking like this. And I said, you have to think
• 11:56
  about this way. You got that guy off the street.
• 11:58
  He could have killed himself or more than likely somebody else.
• 12:01
  You got him off the street and you may have to do it again and
• 12:04
  again. You can't look at what happens
• 12:10
  after as being your fault. We have essentially a legal
• 12:14
  system more than a justice system at times because people
• 12:17
  can plead down and the judges and the attorneys and you do all
• 12:19
  that kind of stuff that kind of helped her.
• 12:23
  That brings me to another point when you were talking about
• 12:25
  where we're in policing. We have about 3 different
• 12:27
  generations right now. You get the millennials, you got
• 12:29
  the what Gen. Z, you got Gen.
• 12:31
  X and Gen. X is getting a lot of them are
• 12:34
  getting up there. They're in their 50s again,
• 12:36
  ready to pull, pull the pull the pin That's so to speak.
• 12:40
  With that in mind, you have a generation 3-4 years into the
• 12:47
  job that don't know necessarily how to do the job or how to stay
• 12:51
  in the job and it was finding retention efforts are are even
• 12:54
  more crucial than recruitment. Really, a lot of that that you
• 12:57
  didn't used to be the case. You signed up and you were in.
• 12:59
  Oh yeah, you were 20 or 30 you got.
• 13:01
  A pension you're. Yeah.
• 13:02
  A lot of people are starting to look at like, hey, five years
• 13:05
  in, why am I doing this job? I don't know, you know, there's
• 13:08
  no camaraderie anymore in some in some places.
• 13:11
  Now if you if you take a agency that has good recruitment
• 13:16
  retention and there are a lot of them where I live and in
• 13:19
  different parts, I can tell you, I can show you top down chiefs
• 13:24
  where the leadership is there, where they are doing what
• 13:28
  they're supposed to do. They're taking care of their
• 13:29
  people there. And what I always like to say is
• 13:32
  taking care of their officers means treating their officers
• 13:36
  like an asset, not a liability. So there are officers that that
• 13:41
  work in agencies where they are micromanaged, where there is
• 13:46
  agency betrayal, where there are individuals that really don't
• 13:50
  have their backs. And that is a huge issue.
• 13:54
  And when you look at agencies that have poor recruitment
• 13:58
  retention and it's not going to be a 10,000 dollar $15,000 bonus
• 14:01
  because if I recruit, if they recruit somebody in, whether
• 14:04
  it's a lateral from one agent to the next or get somebody brand
• 14:07
  new in and say, I'll give you $10,000 bonus, That's great.
• 14:10
  But what does it say to the guy who's been there 1215 years,
• 14:13
  He's got, he's still working the same job and you get a bonus.
• 14:17
  You also look at all right, so you get this person in, how are
• 14:20
  you going to retain them? And that, you know, recruitment
• 14:24
  is part of the battle, not have to battle part of the battle,
• 14:26
  retaining them because you don't want to lose somebody that you
• 14:30
  have to at least get a year or two out of for some return on
• 14:34
  investment. You spend all that time training
• 14:35
  them and it's expensive. It's.
• 14:37
  Expensive and when you are not building and you are not growing
• 14:42
  your people, they're going to leave for other places.
• 14:44
  You know, you ever see two cop cars and they're opposite ends
• 14:48
  of each other? They're talking to each other
• 14:49
  different whether they're same agency or not, they're talking,
• 14:52
  you know, they everybody gossips, but they're talking
• 14:54
  about, hey, my agency is doing this.
• 14:58
  My agency is not doing that. And you know, you have to do
• 15:02
  more as an agency to keep your people.
• 15:05
  And that means it's not just oh, they break their leg, they can
• 15:09
  come back to work later. It's if they got PTSD, if they
• 15:11
  got depression, if they got anything, we got to help them
• 15:14
  get through this, right. Otherwise, you know, don't
• 15:17
  complain. You, you have recruitment
• 15:18
  retention problems. I can spot.
• 15:20
  I can talk to any of these agencies and any other people.
• 15:22
  And I, I have and, and I'm like, how's your recruitment?
• 15:26
  You know, they're like really bad.
• 15:28
  Yeah, it's there's a lot of obvious factors.
• 15:30
  So Nick, what's the one big problem that your business
• 15:33
  solves that you're brought in to solve for them?
• 15:35
  Well, we have multiple things. So recruitment retention is one
• 15:40
  thing. We talk about various ways to
• 15:41
  increase recruitment retention, but one of I would say one of
• 15:46
  the bigger things right now is working with individuals with
• 15:51
  mental health issues. So crisis intervention team
• 15:55
  training. So I, I work as an instructor
• 15:58
  down in Illinois with the Chicago Police Department as an
• 16:01
  instructor with CIT with a couple of their courses.
• 16:04
  And I also work within the state of Illinois at different
• 16:08
  agencies and do a course. So I do a lot of instruction
• 16:10
  down here in Wisconsin. I actually head up in Walworth
• 16:14
  in Kenosha County, I head up CIT programs where I coordinate it
• 16:17
  and run those programs. And so that's a 40 hour week for
• 16:21
  me and I have other trainers, but we are going through the
• 16:25
  scenarios, we're working officers through that stuff, but
• 16:28
  we also incorporate the officer Wellness, which is something
• 16:31
  near and dear that I like to work with is suicide prevention,
• 16:34
  officer Wellness, surviving on and off the job.
• 16:37
  How do you how to basically, you know, what do you do after your
• 16:42
  8 or 10 or 12 hour shift? What do you do when you get
• 16:45
  home? How do you decompress?
• 16:46
  How are you going to shut it off, so to speak?
• 16:51
  How are you going to maintain the identity beyond the job so
• 16:54
  many times that's. Important for entrepreneurs too
• 16:56
  is like you tie your entire identity up and what you do.
• 17:00
  Well, we were talking before the podcast. 2 in the morning, 2:00
• 17:03
  PM. It's not much different when you
• 17:05
  own your own thing. It's like, you know, if I my
• 17:08
  office, if you have a Home Office or even a remote one, but
• 17:11
  if you have a Home Office, you're working.
• 17:13
  Never is. Oh, and there's none on TV.
• 17:15
  You know what, I'm going to go do a few emails and it just
• 17:18
  happens like that. But before you know it, you're
• 17:20
  putting in a 1618 hour day. And there's nothing wrong with
• 17:22
  that. But before you know it, then
• 17:25
  you're who are you then when are you shining it off?
• 17:28
  And we see a lot of officers with that 24/7 mindset that even
• 17:32
  on their off day, they go to, they're just sleeping and
• 17:36
  they're getting prepped for work again.
• 17:37
  And they're never out of that mindset.
• 17:39
  So they're never truly relaxed. So you think about somebody in
• 17:43
  the military, they have furloughs, they have time that
• 17:46
  they get R&R. Often times these guys go call
• 17:50
  to call and don't have any type of respite.
• 17:53
  They don't even take 5 minutes for themselves.
• 17:55
  So we we do teach things about slower breathing, imagery,
• 18:02
  relaxation exercises, things to focus them in, even even adult
• 18:07
  coloring for gosh, for gosh sakes.
• 18:09
  Yeah. Adult coloring, you know, they
• 18:10
  color little things and it really works.
• 18:12
  Yeah. It's there's some funny things
• 18:15
  that you can do that seem funny, but they're very relaxing.
• 18:18
  I always like to use the term mental sorbet.
• 18:21
  So mental sorbet is something that everybody does This.
• 18:24
  It's something that is mindless. I'm not talking watching TV or
• 18:29
  listening to music. It is.
• 18:30
  Maybe you're sanding some furniture down or or you're
• 18:35
  just. You're doing a sport, right?
• 18:37
  Pickleball or something like that, right?
• 18:38
  Yeah, or just even organizing a junk drawer or something.
• 18:42
  That's a very Midwestern thing. You're organizing a junk drawer
• 18:48
  slot, putting mail away. Man, my junk drawer.
• 18:50
  Yeah, yeah, it could use some organizing, yeah.
• 18:53
  But it's those type of mindless things that you're not even
• 18:56
  thinking about your work, you're just doing.
• 18:58
  And there's a sense of completion.
• 19:00
  There's a sense of, oh man, this, this really some good
• 19:03
  neurotransmitters in my head, you know, but it's I completed
• 19:06
  that task, you know, purging out your closet, whatever, whatever
• 19:11
  little thing that you can do. And, and this could also be
• 19:14
  solitaire on your phone or you know, was a Candy Crush or
• 19:17
  whatever people play a lot of. Times when I'm doing stuff like
• 19:19
  that or or laundry, cleaning, whatever it is, making dinner.
• 19:23
  I got the podcast going or I'm listening to some like
• 19:26
  educational type thing, but I sometimes wonder like maybe I
• 19:29
  shouldn't do that as much because it's nice to give your
• 19:31
  brain just like free thought and like mindlessness and not have
• 19:34
  to have something chirping in your ear all the time.
• 19:36
  But I'm like, man, I'm doing this one activity that's kind of
• 19:39
  like a, you know, it's like prepping for dinner or like
• 19:41
  cleaning something. I'm like, while I'm doing this,
• 19:44
  I could be levelling up myself or learning more about how to
• 19:47
  make better investments or this or that.
• 19:49
  And so I'm in my mind, I'm like, I'm kind of hitting two birds
• 19:52
  with one stone. Well, you think you are, but.
• 19:53
  Exactly. But I think sometimes it's like,
• 19:55
  no, you need to give your mind that freedom just to kind of
• 19:58
  wander for a little. Bit well, the question is, are
• 20:00
  you allowing yourself in that moment to enjoy cooking?
• 20:02
  Exactly. You're not you're going through
• 20:05
  the motions of cooking. You're not enjoying, you know,
• 20:07
  say you're starting a new meal and it's like you're going.
• 20:10
  Looking for between the recipe and it's like, oh, OK, wait, I'm
• 20:14
  listening to that podcast. So your attention's not really
• 20:16
  there. And that kind of goes back to
• 20:18
  when we talk about officers, when we talk about other first
• 20:20
  responders. When you're home, are you really
• 20:22
  home? Yeah.
• 20:23
  So if you're just there and you're vegging out or you go to
• 20:26
  your man cave or she shed or whatever those type of things,
• 20:28
  are you really truly there and what we see often one of.
• 20:33
  The reasons I love doing this. Sorry to interrupt, but I like
• 20:36
  doing this because you're just in the moment.
• 20:38
  You can't be anywhere else right now.
• 20:40
  If you're hosting a podcast or a guest on a podcast, you you
• 20:42
  can't be anywhere else. Yeah, you can't be on your phone
• 20:44
  with this one. You can't be looking at
• 20:45
  something like I got notes and stuff, but I can't be checking
• 20:48
  my e-mail right now or like thinking about what am I doing
• 20:50
  tonight for with my girl. You know, you can't do it.
• 20:52
  You got to be ultra present in the moment and I think we do
• 20:55
  need more of this. One of the big fallacies is that
• 20:57
  people think, oh, I can multitask.
• 20:58
  No, you really no. You can not.
• 20:59
  Cognitively you cannot. No, physically you can.
• 21:02
  You seem gum and walk. Yeah.
• 21:04
  But you can't, you can't have a conversation here and then also
• 21:07
  listen to remember lyrics from a song right now, that's probably
• 21:10
  unless you have some type of special ability, like you're not
• 21:14
  going through emails and then also on a call, paying attention
• 21:16
  to every word intently. You're just not.
• 21:18
  No, it's it's near to impossible to do that.
• 21:21
  And the other thing is when we're doing something like this,
• 21:24
  we're also talking to each other, we're making eye contact.
• 21:26
  We are also picking up and listening, each one of us right
• 21:31
  now is this is something we teach in CIT during active
• 21:34
  listening and de escalation, truly listening to the other
• 21:37
  person because how often are we interrupting each other and to
• 21:41
  say the next thing? We don't truly focus ourselves.
• 21:46
  And when you truly listen and then you can paraphrase or you
• 21:49
  can reflect. You can only do that if you let
• 21:52
  the person finish and you're not looking to formulate your next
• 21:55
  question. And so that leads to what a lot
• 21:58
  of people aren't comfortable with, comfortable with is like 5
• 22:00
  or 10 seconds of that quiet, that quiet pause.
• 22:05
  And so ultimately what you're trying to do is listen to not
• 22:13
  formulate next question, but listen so you can have a
• 22:16
  conversation that's meaningful. And it, and that's another thing
• 22:18
  too, we, we talked to cops about is learning to recharge your
• 22:22
  batteries, having a meaningful conversation everyday with
• 22:25
  somebody because there's a lot of stuff that you're just
• 22:27
  jumping from one thing to another.
• 22:29
  And even when you can't get any exercise, go for a simple walk,
• 22:33
  even 20 minutes of walking. It's good for the mind, it's
• 22:35
  good for the body. So lots of studies on that.
• 22:39
  One of the things too, that think about is what you know,
• 22:44
  when I ask officers, and this is one of my Wellness courses, we
• 22:47
  do a four and an 8 hour. One of the first things I'll ask
• 22:49
  is who are you? And it's very, it's very telling
• 22:53
  because they'll say my name is John and I'm a cop.
• 22:57
  First words out of their mouth, you know, a name and then
• 22:59
  they're a cop. All right.
• 23:00
  And what else? Well, I'm a husband and I'm a
• 23:05
  dad of three kids, dad of three kids and blah, blah, blah, blah,
• 23:08
  blah. And I do that with a few people
• 23:10
  once, you know, I, I remember there's one guy that stands out
• 23:14
  because I loved his answer. He goes and I'm making names up.
• 23:17
  He goes, yeah, my name's Tom. I'm, I've been married for 14
• 23:22
  years. I got two kids.
• 23:25
  I do this, this and this and my hobbies.
• 23:27
  Oh, yeah. And I'm a cop.
• 23:29
  It was more that it, it wasn't so much an afterthought.
• 23:31
  It's not like he doesn't want to be a cop, but it's not that the
• 23:35
  cop identity has taken over his whole life.
• 23:37
  And it's like, and I'm a cop and I love that because for all the
• 23:42
  people that are out there who are listening to this, who have
• 23:44
  loved ones, who are first responders and stuff, you are
• 23:47
  more than just your job. Because ultimately it's a job.
• 23:50
  And we spend 2/3 of our life in our jobs.
• 23:52
  And I get that. But a lot of these guys are
• 23:55
  going to retire when they're in the 50s and hopefully they're
• 23:58
  still married and hopefully their spouse recognizes who they
• 24:01
  are when they retire. Because a lot of times when
• 24:04
  they're 24/7 with these jobs, your husband or wife starts
• 24:09
  living their life without you because you're not there.
• 24:11
  Not because of the job entirely of the job schedule because, but
• 24:15
  because you come home and treat the house like a mistress or, or
• 24:19
  a hotel. You go in, you, you sleep, you
• 24:22
  shower, you eat, and you go back to work and lather, rinse,
• 24:25
  repeat. Hey, Dad, Mom, do you want to go
• 24:28
  out? No, I'm tired.
• 24:29
  Do you want to do this? No.
• 24:30
  Hey, honey, why don't we go out to dinner?
• 24:32
  No, you know, at that restaurant, I don't know.
• 24:33
  I think a few of the guys are arrested, so it works over
• 24:36
  there, blah, blah, blah. There's always something.
• 24:39
  They start living their life around you without you.
• 24:42
  Sometimes they wake up and say, hey, why am I married to you
• 24:45
  anymore? Other times, 20 years, 30 years
• 24:48
  into the marriage, they retire and it's like, I don't know who
• 24:51
  this person is sleeping next to me.
• 24:53
  And you see that happen depending on where you look with
• 24:56
  statistics, usually it's about 50% divorce rate, same as the
• 25:01
  journal population. Although in some places,
• 25:04
  depending, a lot of times it's relative, you could see anywhere
• 25:06
  between 50 to 70% divorce rate. It depends on the agency and,
• 25:11
  and you know what's going on. So there's many jokes around
• 25:15
  that kind of stuff. But there are, I'm working on,
• 25:19
  I've been researching some things and there's a lot of cops
• 25:21
  that I've talked to, they're on a second marriage.
• 25:23
  A lot of ones that are on the same first marriage there.
• 25:26
  Is there a secret sauce? Well, one of the big ones is
• 25:30
  trust and communication. You have to be communicating
• 25:32
  with your spouse. You have to let them know about
• 25:34
  the job. You have to let them know about
• 25:35
  the things that are going on. Why is that so important?
• 25:38
  Because I grew up with a father that was a cop, obviously all.
• 25:41
  Right, we'll do your therapy later.
• 25:44
  But I wouldn't say that he overly shared what happened in
• 25:47
  that world. I think he tried to keep
• 25:48
  compartmentalize. It that that was the thinking
• 25:50
  before that was that's very old school thinking and, and for a
• 25:54
  lot of ways back then it may have been healthy.
• 25:59
  However, there was also a choir practice which was going out and
• 26:02
  drinking with everybody and you know, after shift to drink and I
• 26:07
  don't. Think he did that?
• 26:08
  Well, that's good. But a lot of times that was that
• 26:11
  was what was happening. Other people would just bottled
• 26:15
  up because they didn't want to traumatize their family, so to
• 26:17
  speak. But the problem is the kids, the
• 26:21
  wife, the husband or whoever, they see what you're going
• 26:24
  through. So there's secondary trauma.
• 26:25
  You're you're feeling it. It's it's within the house.
• 26:27
  All right. So.
• 26:29
  Well, you know what? Dad looks like he had a bad day.
• 26:31
  Let's not talk to him. Oh, I yeah.
• 26:35
  You know what? We're just probably going to go
• 26:37
  out to eat because he doesn't look like he wants to be
• 26:39
  bothered with us. So isn't leaving, you know,
• 26:41
  leaving by himself. You want to come with us?
• 26:43
  And no. OK, we're going to.
• 26:44
  I'm going to take the kids out. OK, great.
• 26:46
  You know, he just wants to be left alone.
• 26:48
  But the problem is that creates more distance.
• 26:51
  It also by bottling that stuff up, if we had a water bottle
• 26:56
  like, you know, there's no spigging in that water bottle.
• 26:57
  So when they retire, they have all this stuff, they have their
• 27:00
  highlight reel, they have their things that are still in their
• 27:02
  head that they never processed. So their retirement isn't as
• 27:06
  great as they expected to be because all the stuff now
• 27:11
  they're not busy anymore. Now they have all the time in
• 27:14
  the recliner, all the time at home to start trying to process
• 27:17
  this and it's overwhelming. So when we look at 30 years ago,
• 27:23
  20 years ago, how often were cops being attacked like they
• 27:28
  are now? I'm talking physical
• 27:30
  altercations where people are looking to shoot them and ambush
• 27:33
  them. Switching over from wheel guns
• 27:36
  to semi automatics to having, you know, body armor that is a
• 27:40
  necessity to wear. Your vest is a necessity to
• 27:43
  wear. Policing has changed because the
• 27:47
  public has changed. The public demands are
• 27:51
  unfortunately sometimes unrealistic.
• 27:54
  They don't want to be bothered, but they want police.
• 27:57
  Then they complain when there is too much police, when there
• 27:59
  isn't enough. They're never, you know.
• 28:01
  So, Nick, let me ask you back to the There's so many good things
• 28:04
  that you said. I wrote down some things.
• 28:05
  I'm like, I don't know if we're gonna have time to come back to
• 28:07
  everything you just said. But what do you say to someone
• 28:10
  that's like, I don't want to talk about my work when I get
• 28:12
  home? And I think, you know, if you're
• 28:13
  listening to this now, you're maybe you're not a cop or a
• 28:16
  first responder, but you're a business owner or you have a,
• 28:19
  you know, have maybe a heavy stress job.
• 28:20
  It's the same thing, right? You're coming home, you're
• 28:22
  clocking off. Or maybe it's even worse because
• 28:24
  you never really clock off and you've got this kind of like
• 28:27
  some people do compartmentalize. Yeah.
• 28:31
  So it's like, what do you say to the person that's like, I want
• 28:32
  to kind of just, I don't want to talk about it.
• 28:34
  Well, hopefully you have trust in your relationship, but you
• 28:36
  also have communication. This goes back to what we were
• 28:38
  talking about before. We kind of went a little bit
• 28:41
  off, but you have to have an agreement with your spouse on
• 28:45
  what you're going to talk about. If you've had a bad day and you
• 28:48
  don't want to talk about anything, let your spouse know.
• 28:50
  Look, I've had a really bad day. I want to talk about anything.
• 28:52
  However, I still wanna be here. We can watch TV together.
• 28:56
  We're not gonna really talk. But the nonverbal's important.
• 28:59
  Yeah. Be next to that person.
• 29:01
  Sure. You wanna talk about?
• 29:02
  No. What do you need?
• 29:04
  Hey, just sit next to me. That can be huge.
• 29:07
  Yeah. Don't push your loved ones away.
• 29:10
  That's probably one of the biggest things that you know
• 29:12
  people think verbal communication but it's non
• 29:14
  verbal as well. So true when you push that
• 29:17
  person away, you can have bad days, you can feel rotten, you
• 29:20
  can be rotten. That's.
• 29:21
  We all do have bad days too, yeah.
• 29:23
  But you have to explain, you have to let your partner know
• 29:25
  about that, because if you don't, then things build up and
• 29:31
  you get contempt, disgust, hate, all that which will kill a
• 29:34
  marriage will kill a relationship.
• 29:37
  So that goes whatever. That's a general that's general
• 29:40
  for everybody. You can have a bad day at any
• 29:42
  work. You could be a lawyer, you could
• 29:43
  be an architect, you can be a podcaster, whatever.
• 29:48
  When you bring the job home and everybody tries, you might
• 29:51
  everybody brings the job home in some way.
• 29:52
  Sure. Have have something that your
• 29:58
  spouse, you know, you talk to your spouse was like, Hey, I'm
• 30:00
  going to prep you here. Call ahead.
• 30:02
  I'm going to get home. I'm going to need 20-30 minutes
• 30:05
  just to decompress. And then after that, then tell
• 30:07
  me about the kids, tell me about your day.
• 30:09
  I need that 20-30 minutes to decompress.
• 30:11
  Or if you are a first responder, have that built into the
• 30:14
  relationship that some days I'm not going to talk about stuff,
• 30:17
  but every day I get home after shift, I need 30 minutes to
• 30:19
  shower, relax, and then hit me with everything.
• 30:24
  If you bombard somebody when they come right in the door,
• 30:26
  you're not going to get the best of anybody.
• 30:28
  Yeah, that these are not only communication, but it's
• 30:33
  relationship contracting kind of in a way.
• 30:35
  So you have this. Really good man.
• 30:38
  Well, you have this thought that look, I'm having a bad day.
• 30:44
  Can we get Chinese take out? Can we do this?
• 30:46
  Can we? You know what?
• 30:48
  There's a favorite meal I like. I've had such a bad day.
• 30:51
  You think I know you'd probably not want to cook tonight is a
• 30:54
  possibility. OK.
• 30:55
  Hey, you know what you don't want to cook?
• 30:57
  How about can we pick up such and such?
• 31:00
  OK, great. That'll do.
• 31:01
  Now what if your spouse is just not willing to even have those
• 31:03
  conversations? Divorced them immediately, no.
• 31:06
  Jeez, you know what if you got a spouse that you're like, I
• 31:08
  really want to communicate and like talk about this, but
• 31:11
  there's like, I'm not talking about this shit.
• 31:12
  It's bullshit. It has to be.
• 31:17
  There has to be an agreement. Now, you don't have to share
• 31:20
  everything. You don't have to be HBO
• 31:22
  cinematic Showtime versions, but there has to be some paid for
• 31:25
  cable made for TV discussion. And it could be, hey, there was
• 31:32
  a really bad accident, it sucked and it could be that and people
• 31:36
  died and I'm not happy about it and leave it at that.
• 31:40
  But there has to be an agreement.
• 31:42
  Following it up is just going to keep overflowing a bottle and
• 31:48
  without a spigot in there, you know, you have these guys,
• 31:51
  they're like, well, you know, I thought I was doing the right
• 31:53
  thing. I was working, I was doing all
• 31:54
  the overtime. That's another thing to get on
• 31:56
  the overtime hamster wheel. But there's a, there's a whole
• 32:02
  whole thing behind the overtime hamster wheel too.
• 32:04
  But getting on the hamster wheel of overtime, I'm working all the
• 32:06
  time. I'm working all the time so I
• 32:08
  can give you this, so I can give you that.
• 32:09
  But cars and toys and vacations are no substitute for you.
• 32:15
  Right. So you can't buy your way into
• 32:19
  relationship list. It's not going to happen.
• 32:21
  I always thought, and one of the reasons I've never said I'm
• 32:27
  doing everything in my business for my kids bullshit.
• 32:31
  Like I never, I never believed that.
• 32:33
  I believe that we, there's different reasons we do
• 32:36
  different things. It's not as as simple as saying
• 32:38
  I only do this for this one singular reason, but people are
• 32:41
  like, I work so hard, I'm gone all the time.
• 32:43
  I do all this overtime so I can provide a good life.
• 32:46
  So I can buy crap I don't need. And the reason I say it's
• 32:48
  bullshit is because to your point, all your kids or family
• 32:52
  wants is you now, it doesn't mean you send your ass all day
• 32:55
  and you do nothing. You need to work hard.
• 32:57
  You've got to make sacrifices. You sometime has to have to work
• 32:59
  late, but you got to make sure that you're doing it for the
• 33:03
  right reasons. You're not masking what you're
• 33:05
  doing because I think a lot of people, they have insecurities.
• 33:08
  They have a chip on their shoulder.
• 33:09
  They didn't come from much and now they're we're compensating
• 33:12
  the other way but forgetting what is the actual really most
• 33:14
  important thing. Well, they're living to work.
• 33:17
  They're not really enjoying, you know, and so you, you work so
• 33:21
  you can live, so you can buy food, so you can have your house
• 33:23
  and everything. But they take it sometimes they
• 33:25
  take it a notch further and it's like, well, I'm going to keep
• 33:28
  doing, I'm going to overtime, overtime.
• 33:30
  And then they get into this mindset.
• 33:32
  Well, I'm working also overtime. I deserve this.
• 33:34
  I deserve that. Whoa, hold on.
• 33:36
  The more money you're making means you should be saving some
• 33:38
  of that, not spending more. And yeah, I challenge anybody go
• 33:43
  to some of go to parking lots, the fire department, police,
• 33:48
  look, look for the Rams 1500, the F1 fifties.
• 33:52
  You see a lot of see a lot of cars out there that are brand
• 33:54
  new and they make good money. Don't you know, they make pretty
• 33:57
  good money. But the problem is a lot of
• 33:59
  these guys, if they lose the overtime, they're in deep
• 34:02
  financial problems. It's not so much a money issue.
• 34:07
  It's a, it's a spending issue and they put themselves in the
• 34:10
  debt and oh, I deserve this. But you're just taking this car
• 34:13
  from point A to point B back and forth to work.
• 34:15
  Well, I bought the car to fish, to boat to the Are you doing
• 34:19
  that? Well, no, I got to work all the
• 34:20
  overtime to pay for the $800 payment.
• 34:22
  Well, and. That's the hamster wheel.
• 34:24
  And one of the things that's why we, you know, I love talking to,
• 34:28
  you know, myself and some of the other people work with me.
• 34:31
  We love talking to the recruits when, especially when they're
• 34:33
  coming out of the Academy before they get that first paycheck.
• 34:40
  Don't buy something big. A lot of times they make a big
• 34:43
  purchase, They buy a new car, buy a new truck and they're
• 34:47
  going to find themselves in the hamster wheel real fast because
• 34:49
  then again, the relationships going to want to have kids and
• 34:52
  before you know it, they are overtime is not a, you know,
• 34:58
  something they want to do. It's a necessity, something they
• 35:00
  have to do. So we talk about financial
• 35:02
  planning as well. Some of the financial things,
• 35:04
  some you know, I have a have a good friend of mine who he's the
• 35:07
  deputy chief, he does whole couple hours on financial
• 35:11
  planning. And it's so important because
• 35:13
  you look at 2/3 of this country cannot afford $1000 expense.
• 35:18
  That's crazy. Even $400.00.
• 35:20
  They don't have savings, they don't plan ahead, you know.
• 35:24
  I admit I was always taught my parents live below your means.
• 35:27
  Yeah, I was told that a million times, and they did that, and I
• 35:30
  still do that. And I think that's just an
• 35:32
  important thing that especially in we live in a world where like
• 35:34
  everything is a click of a button of way.
• 35:36
  Disposable. Yeah, just.
• 35:38
  Oh, this is fast. This one second later, it's
• 35:40
  here. You can buy something, pay now
• 35:42
  or pay later. It's like what?
• 35:43
  Like there's, you know, there's all these things and it's like,
• 35:46
  man, what? And again, to your point, like
• 35:48
  what are you really doing it for?
• 35:49
  Like what's, why do you need all these material things that you
• 35:52
  can't afford? I mean, it's not going to make
• 35:53
  you happy inside. It might be excited for a couple
• 35:55
  weeks, but then it disappears and you're off with what do you
• 35:57
  got? Shopping is not cheaper than a
• 35:58
  therapist that that's really what it comes down to because
• 36:01
  you're going for that dopaminergic, serotinergic,
• 36:05
  that's it hit and that's going to be fleeting.
• 36:08
  And you find people buying tons of stuff on eBay, buying tons of
• 36:11
  stuff, you know, trying to make themselves feel better.
• 36:14
  There is nothing wrong. Cars last a long time and cars
• 36:17
  depreciate in value. So if you have a car that's 1014
• 36:19
  years old and it's still running, you can get 2 hundred
• 36:21
  250,000 miles out of it. Who are you impressing?
• 36:25
  OK. Now, if you have a safety issue
• 36:28
  with your car and you can't get it fixed or it's going to be way
• 36:30
  too much, but you look at the price between a new and a used
• 36:32
  car, the differential is only like 3 to $5000.
• 36:35
  So used cars used to be the way to go.
• 36:38
  Now it's like if you have to, that's a huge financial burden.
• 36:42
  If you have to buy a car, why are you buying a car when you
• 36:44
  can put that money into other other things like partly or
• 36:48
  retirement for one, right? So.
• 36:50
  When when I when you ask that question to other people, who
• 36:53
  are you? When I get asked that question,
• 36:55
  kind of my first natural response to something with my
• 36:58
  kids, you know, father, I'm proud of that.
• 37:00
  I also think like creator, you know, a builder, entrepreneurs
• 37:04
  in there too. I start maybe describing myself
• 37:08
  a little bit, you know, I like to have deep conversations.
• 37:11
  I also like to have fun and be humorous, you know?
• 37:14
  Nothing wrong with that. How do you answer that question
• 37:16
  when someone asks you Who are you?
• 37:19
  You know, I, I probably say, you know, I'm a husband, I'm a
• 37:22
  father. I'm somebody that's goal
• 37:26
  oriented, somebody that likes to solve problems, you know, have
• 37:31
  my own business, stuff like that.
• 37:33
  It's a good balance. Yeah, it it, it really comes
• 37:35
  down to putting your, you, you, you have to, you have to take
• 37:40
  care of yourself first. You always have to put your
• 37:42
  oxygen mask on 1st. So nothing selfish about that.
• 37:44
  You can't help others unless you are in a good place yourself.
• 37:47
  But you have to be family oriented.
• 37:49
  You have to be because I tell, I tell people all the time, your
• 37:53
  boss or your chief or whoever, that person is not going to take
• 37:57
  care of you when you are 80 years old.
• 37:59
  It's gonna be a family, right. OK.
• 38:01
  So the kids, the wife, the husband, whatever, they're not
• 38:05
  going to remember all that wonderful overtime and, oh, you
• 38:08
  got me a PlayStation. They're they're going to
• 38:11
  remember that you weren't there. Yeah, they're going to remember
• 38:14
  that Dad wasn't there. And as even when the holidays
• 38:17
  come up, Thanksgiving, Christmas, you know, just
• 38:20
  because the calendar says, oh, it's Christmas or it's
• 38:22
  Thanksgiving. A lot of people have different
• 38:25
  schedules and especially in first first responders,
• 38:30
  Thanksgiving can be Friday or Saturday that weekend.
• 38:34
  You, you know, I tell, I tell people all the time Christmas,
• 38:37
  especially with little kids, you know, say mom's with the kids on
• 38:40
  Christmas morning. That's Christmas morning and
• 38:42
  then dad is going to be home on the 26th.
• 38:45
  No work. Hey, second Christmas, little
• 38:48
  kids will love that, right? So you can do that.
• 38:50
  You can still have those experiences.
• 38:53
  People got two different families in laws, stuff like
• 38:55
  that. Celebrate, you know?
• 38:57
  Hey, I'm not there that day. But you know what?
• 38:59
  We're gonna do something in between when I'm off.
• 39:03
  I think that the identity reference too is also similar to
• 39:06
  me in the motivation reference or inspirational reference,
• 39:09
  meaning what inspires you to do what you do.
• 39:11
  Well, as a founder, you need to have an identity.
• 39:13
  You need to know why you're doing.
• 39:15
  This and, and you may have a mission that you're on.
• 39:17
  There's a greater purpose. There's hey, I want to fulfill
• 39:19
  my potential. I feel like I've I've got
• 39:21
  something to offer. And then on the other side,
• 39:23
  there's as equally as important. There's also I want to provide
• 39:25
  an amazing life for my kids. I want to do vacations.
• 39:28
  I want to be there for them. I want to, it's not just one
• 39:31
  thing, but I it drives me crazy and people like work all the
• 39:34
  time. They're gone nonstop and they're
• 39:35
  like, I'm doing it for my family.
• 39:37
  It's like really like, I don't know, man.
• 39:39
  It's like you got some internal drivers, not the family, because
• 39:42
  the family just wants you there. Right.
• 39:43
  And then you look at there's, you know, your passion drives
• 39:46
  your, your company, your passion drives what you do.
• 39:50
  If you lose your passion, what, what do you have?
• 39:54
  You know, if you do this just for money, any, any career,
• 39:57
  anything, the money will not be enough.
• 40:02
  It's the same thing if we talk about relations you.
• 40:04
  May just not even make it because money drivers to me,
• 40:07
  like that's a weak driver. I mean, I've watched people that
• 40:09
  started something because they loved it.
• 40:11
  They fell in love. They it solved the real problem
• 40:13
  that they had or they were interested in.
• 40:15
  And then I've watched people that started businesses to like
• 40:17
  and it's like, why? It's almost sad to hear be like,
• 40:19
  why did you get into the business?
• 40:20
  And like I heard you can make some money in it and it's like,
• 40:22
  man, that's probably not going to.
• 40:24
  Last And a lot of those people fizzle out because exactly.
• 40:27
  There's no. There's no.
• 40:28
  Purpose to get up or mission or like something to get you
• 40:30
  excited. It's like I'll make more money
• 40:32
  today. Just like any relationship, it
• 40:36
  has to be built on trust and communication.
• 40:37
  You can't have a relationship with sex.
• 40:39
  It's not going to work. Same thing with building the
• 40:41
  company. You have to have a passion, you
• 40:43
  have to have a reason for it on something that is building and
• 40:48
  you build it on money and how are you going to get through.
• 40:53
  I survived 2020. I didn't take any kind of
• 40:56
  government assistance or anything.
• 40:57
  I survived because I looked at what I could do.
• 41:01
  I lost money just like every other entrepreneur, every
• 41:03
  business owner, but what I did was whether that and pivot not
• 41:09
  to take a friends like pivot. That's a good episode.
• 41:13
  Yeah, it's moving the couch, moving the pivot.
• 41:16
  But you know, friends you'll. You'll be a good reference some
• 41:18
  people. You don't, you'll be like, I
• 41:19
  don't know what they're. Looking up on Google, yeah.
• 41:21
  But any case, the pivot was, well, the in person training had
• 41:26
  to slow down for about a year. Wow, what can we do on Zoom?
• 41:31
  And that's what we did. We did a lot more Zoom training.
• 41:33
  So we did more articles, more things to say, hey, we're out
• 41:37
  there. It was also a time to do some
• 41:41
  cleanup and some revamping and some new branding and stuff like
• 41:44
  that. That was that was saying the
• 41:47
  pace for where we're at now. Was that your toughest year yet?
• 41:53
  Yeah. Well, from, from a financial
• 42:00
  point, yes, when you start, you know, the first couple years
• 42:03
  from 2014 to 2016 were difficult until you get yourself
• 42:07
  established. Those are like, oh man, did I do
• 42:08
  the right thing? And that's where the passion
• 42:10
  comes in at. Because this is where, you know,
• 42:12
  the first five years, even the first couple years, you'd be
• 42:14
  like, oh man, I, I got to go find a job, you know, or you
• 42:18
  can, you can hold on to it and keep fighting and keep thinking
• 42:22
  about all right, how can I reinvent this?
• 42:24
  How can I do what? Keep my finger on the pulse?
• 42:27
  Yes, 2016 things started turning around 2020 hits and it's like,
• 42:32
  Oh my God, thousands upon thousands.
• 42:35
  It was just like 1 after your domino effect, everything set
• 42:37
  that you're gone. Then when we, you know, now I'm
• 42:44
  at a point where I'm booking into October 2026 right now.
• 42:51
  So there's a lot of stuff where I'm either having to say, I'm
• 42:55
  starting to have to say no to some things, or I'm having to
• 42:58
  say I can't do it then. But we can.
• 42:59
  We do it this, this way. And it's a nice place to be.
• 43:05
  But heck yeah, it is. There can be feast and famine
• 43:07
  and you, you never get too comfortable.
• 43:09
  Yeah. Cuz all of yours kind of the
• 43:12
  training sessions or it's a period of time and then it ends
• 43:15
  or is there ongoing work for your?
• 43:16
  Business, I have ongoing work and then I have what I like to
• 43:21
  call one and done's. However, because some of the
• 43:26
  negotiations, some of the contracting, I've built
• 43:30
  relationships with them where they're like, you know, you are
• 43:33
  not only affordable, it's not cheap, but it's affordable.
• 43:36
  And there's a lot of value in during materials, all those kind
• 43:39
  of things where there is value added to every presentation.
• 43:43
  A lot of them are like, OK, you are going to be our trainer for
• 43:46
  these things. And we're, and I've had people
• 43:48
  call me 4 years later, we have a new pension board.
• 43:51
  We need you to train our people. And so that's a real, you know,
• 43:55
  repeat business obviously good. But it's also the word of mouth
• 43:58
  that's out there. Yes.
• 43:59
  And like with anything, any founder, any entrepreneur, your
• 44:03
  reputation is everything. How did you get into this line
• 44:06
  of work? I got arrested too many times.
• 44:08
  No, I just I. Was like either he's a cop.
• 44:10
  Or no, no, no, no, no, no. You were saying, yeah, So it
• 44:14
  was, it seems odd, but I, I've been working with law
• 44:19
  enforcement off and on for a number of years, since around
• 44:22
  99. It was always something going on
• 44:24
  every year. And so at one point I had like 3
• 44:28
  different jobs, you know, I had one job here and it was always.
• 44:31
  So when in 2014 I had 20, yeah, 2014, I was like, I got tired of
• 44:38
  working for people. And this one place I was with,
• 44:41
  I'm like. What type of work are you doing?
• 44:43
  So what made you qualify to go into this line of work even?
• 44:45
  So I have a master's in psychology.
• 44:48
  I have some different yeah. And so I had taught as an
• 44:54
  adjunct professor various courses, various institutions
• 44:58
  over the years. And I've always been somebody
• 45:00
  that built up a lot of knowledge and I going to get too much into
• 45:05
  all that. But around 2014 I started doing
• 45:09
  some, you know, this one college came to me and it's like we're
• 45:13
  doing mental health training for cops and reviewing stuff and,
• 45:17
  you know, you would be good for this because you have this
• 45:19
  background there. I'm like, OK, so I started doing
• 45:21
  that 2016, I started getting involved with the CITA program
• 45:25
  and it just kind of naturally fit.
• 45:26
  There's A, and I guess I have some kind of similar mentality
• 45:32
  to, you know, it and it, it's there is a, I'm very humbled by
• 45:38
  the fact that when I work with these individuals, they, they do
• 45:42
  come to me. They do talk with me, they
• 45:45
  accept me into their world because one, it's kind of hard.
• 45:48
  It's like, dude, you're not, you're not one of us, but you,
• 45:51
  you get, you get us. And I try to, you know, get them
• 45:54
  and try to help them. And for a lot of times with
• 45:58
  individuals who are seeking help and assistance, I have a lot of
• 46:02
  resources that I've referred them out to.
• 46:04
  We could use more people who there's a lot of people who
• 46:09
  need, you know, just in general too just help and stuff like
• 46:12
  that. So the need is greater than what
• 46:15
  we have. To get into the the psychology
• 46:18
  of things, I think about, you know, stress.
• 46:21
  And then I wonder sometimes if people are stressed or if
• 46:24
  they're just working too much and need a break.
• 46:26
  What's the difference? How do you define stress and
• 46:28
  what does it do to the human body?
• 46:30
  Well, one of the things that you hear a lot of times is on burnt
• 46:33
  out and burnt out and everybody, especially a lot of agencies or
• 46:37
  a lot of see the hospitals hospital minister say, oh,
• 46:40
  people are burnt out, so why don't you go ahead and work out
• 46:42
  more? Why don't you go ahead and eat
• 46:44
  better? But that's not necessarily the
• 46:50
  issue. Yeah, we all can eat better.
• 46:52
  We all can have healthier lifestyles, but that's not going
• 46:55
  to fix a dysfunctional hospital administration or dysfunctional
• 46:58
  agency. So burnout tends to be a cop out
• 47:02
  when we have dysfunctional places.
• 47:05
  If we look at stress, stress can be fleeting.
• 47:09
  But when stress, you take it home every day where it's just
• 47:12
  this constant bombardment where you cannot relax, those that
• 47:18
  stress can actually get further into her and your immune system.
• 47:22
  You know, you see people who are getting sick all the time who
• 47:26
  have nausea or they're they have stomach upset, GI issues
• 47:32
  grinding their teeth. I have a few dentist friends who
• 47:36
  they have a whole list of people that they have from different
• 47:42
  professions that grind your teeth and they have to have bite
• 47:44
  guards, headaches, thirst, twitching, lack of sleep, you
• 47:49
  know, gain less than six hours of sleep at night, all those
• 47:52
  type of things. And, and one that the biggest
• 47:54
  litmus test I, I ask people is do you have a, do you need a
• 47:58
  vacation? And they tell me, yeah.
• 48:00
  And then I say, how many of you have a vacation plan?
• 48:03
  You see a bunch of their hands go down.
• 48:06
  That is a big indicator. If you need a vacation, you have
• 48:08
  nothing planned, use that. Use that time so often in this
• 48:15
  country, we don't use our vacation time so often.
• 48:17
  We we leave time on on the books and we don't get it back.
• 48:24
  Why? Why are we just dropping all
• 48:27
  that vacation time when we need it?
• 48:28
  So I tell people all the time, take some days off.
• 48:31
  If you can't do a seven day vacation, take a couple, take an
• 48:33
  extended weekend, but do something for relationships
• 48:37
  especially have a date night at least once a month at least.
• 48:42
  You know, the other thing is I know people talk about, oh, we
• 48:45
  do everything for the kids. So the kids come first.
• 48:49
  OK, you need to come first, but you're actually going to mask on
• 48:52
  1st. Then your relationship and your
• 48:54
  kids and your kids. Because if you and your spouse
• 48:57
  don't have a good relationship, it's going to carry over into
• 48:59
  the kids totally. And if you have one partner
• 49:02
  who's resentful because one's doing everything with the kids
• 49:05
  and there's never a time for me and you, that breeds resentment.
• 49:09
  Yep. OK, so those are the type of
• 49:11
  things to start looking out for when you look at other impacts
• 49:14
  on the body. Well, gaining weight, you get
• 49:17
  the metabolic effect, right? You need to be free diabetic,
• 49:20
  high triglycerides, high cholesterol, high blood
• 49:22
  pressure, all that stuff. Stress eating, people stress
• 49:26
  eat. And if you're not getting enough
• 49:27
  sleep or if you work, and if you work a night shift, what's going
• 49:30
  to happen? You're going to eat because your
• 49:33
  body is getting the wrong signal when you should be sleeping.
• 49:35
  Your body is saying, well, all right, we'll eat to stay up.
• 49:38
  That's rough. We'll take some more caffeine.
• 49:41
  You see people, I always say drink their calories.
• 49:44
  You go to Starbucks, Dunkin' Donuts, get a $400.00 frappe
• 49:46
  latte, half mocha, decaf, whatever, and it's got whipped
• 49:50
  cream and all this. It's 4500 calories.
• 49:52
  It only takes 1000 calories extra a week to gain a pound.
• 49:56
  So you think about. You get a pound a week if you're
• 49:59
  just doing that much extra. Thousand, yeah, 1000 calories
• 50:02
  extra, Yeah. So you think about, yeah.
• 50:03
  So if you think about 22 to 3000 calorie diet, but you need to
• 50:08
  sometimes have a sleep or not sleep, but a calorie deficit.
• 50:11
  Because if you're just plowing through food all the time,
• 50:14
  you're not exercising, not doing anything, you are going to gain
• 50:16
  weight, it's going to store as fat and you're not getting
• 50:18
  enough sleep. We know if you're not getting
• 50:20
  enough sleep, sleep deprivation is going to lead to a bunch of
• 50:23
  issues both physically and mentally, as well as weight
• 50:25
  gain. Yeah.
• 50:26
  So, wow, it's crazy how the mind connects to the body so well.
• 50:30
  We think about like physical health and I'm working out and
• 50:33
  eating healthy, and then we separate, like how we feel our
• 50:36
  stress levels are, you know, and it's all tied together so much
• 50:39
  more than we think. Immensely tied together.
• 50:41
  And that's one of the things that we talked about in one of
• 50:43
  the training courses is cops for years have been physically well
• 50:49
  trained. You know, you look at SWAT, you
• 50:51
  look at all that stuff. But here's the thing.
• 50:53
  When we get the SWAT guy knocking down the door, what's
• 50:55
  his mental state like? No one thinks about that, right?
• 50:58
  No one thinks about that. That's the last thing.
• 51:00
  Yeah. I like to, I like to say it's a
• 51:03
  joke, but it isn't. If I go to any police agency and
• 51:06
  I say, hey, I have a Wellness program, they'll say we don't
• 51:08
  have the money and I'll say, hey, how about I just come in
• 51:11
  for a roll call or something? Free.
• 51:12
  I'll say even free, right? Everyone loves free.
• 51:15
  We don't have the time. Then that's when they'll tell
• 51:17
  me. But if they say, hey, you know
• 51:18
  what? I go, hey, I have let me check
• 51:21
  all your Glocks out. I'm a Glock armor, OK?
• 51:25
  They'll get me in that same day or the next day because they
• 51:29
  look at Velcro and all the tactical equipment, all this
• 51:33
  stuff as being important. And it is.
• 51:36
  However, none of us would go to a doctor or an architect and
• 51:41
  they can have all the tools, but they don't know how to use them.
• 51:42
  Or they have all the tools but their mind is not there.
• 51:45
  That's such a good point. So keep that in mind that you
• 51:49
  cannot separate the body and the mind because they go together
• 51:53
  so. What's your advice for people
• 51:55
  that are dealing with somebody that is maybe their spouse or
• 51:58
  they know somebody that's a heavy just working all the time,
• 52:02
  then they kind of shut down on you?
• 52:03
  If you're dealing with somebody that does kind of shut down on
• 52:06
  you and you're having trouble kind of breaking through to have
• 52:08
  those good conversations about communication and boundaries,
• 52:11
  well, how do you approach that person?
• 52:13
  Kind of, you know, it's a tough one.
• 52:15
  That's a tough situation. I would look at that as doing it
• 52:21
  very slowly, being there for that person.
• 52:24
  Sometimes they don't want to talk, sometimes they don't want
• 52:26
  to open up. But just know that, reassure
• 52:30
  them that, hey, I know you don't want to talk about this stuff,
• 52:32
  but how about we want some TV together?
• 52:34
  How about we do this together? How about, you know, we have a
• 52:37
  cup of coffee together? Or just do things slowly with
• 52:41
  them and see if they will eventually open up.
• 52:44
  But don't let them shut down where they're suffering in
• 52:47
  silence. For too often we have people
• 52:49
  suffering in silence. We have nearly 50,000 suicides
• 52:55
  every year across this country. Gee, that's a lot.
• 52:57
  Higher than murder, higher than homicide rate?
• 52:59
  What 2021 thousand? Think about and you have about
• 53:04
  39,000 males, about 10,000 females or older.
• 53:08
  Population 12% of population 18% of suicides.
• 53:11
  Males make up 50%. Why?
• 53:13
  Do you think it's so high with males?
• 53:15
  I'll get to that. Males, 50% of population, 80% of
• 53:18
  suicide. It's high with males often times
• 53:21
  because of pull yourself up by your bootstraps, be a man.
• 53:25
  All this kind of stigmatizing language that is harms
• 53:30
  individuals. The APA, American Psychological
• 53:33
  Association had a great program years ago and they did it for a
• 53:37
  few years. It was called real men, real
• 53:40
  depression. And that was that was important
• 53:43
  because often times men don't want to admit they're depressed
• 53:47
  because it's not much of what's not a manly thing to do.
• 53:50
  But we need to have those conversations.
• 53:55
  Men will often times self medicate and alcohol is one of
• 53:59
  the big ones. They'll drink.
• 54:02
  That's not going to help. Alcohol is actually a depressant
• 54:05
  and it makes things worse and it's not going to give you good
• 54:07
  sleep anyway. When we look at depression,
• 54:13
  we're looking at men who our suffering in silence.
• 54:18
  They don't think anybody can they can open up to anybody.
• 54:21
  They don't think anybody understand them.
• 54:23
  So I, I, I teach a course as an instructor called question,
• 54:27
  persuade, refer and we talk about these type of things about
• 54:30
  getting people to open up and how to ask the right questions.
• 54:33
  And so you ask them right off the bat, like, you know, hey,
• 54:38
  I'm going to be here for you. I'm going to talk with you.
• 54:39
  You don't, you know, the idea that, Oh my gosh, if I asked
• 54:44
  them about suicide, if I asked them to think about dying,
• 54:46
  they're going to do it. If you're thinking about going
• 54:48
  to lunch right now and they ask you and I say, hey, do you ever
• 54:52
  have any thoughts, Alex, about killing yourself?
• 54:54
  And you're like, you know what, I was going to go to lunch.
• 54:56
  But you know what sounds like a great idea.
• 54:57
  No, it doesn't happen like that, right?
• 54:59
  What happens is is I'm putting a handout on your shoulder in a
• 55:02
  way. And I'm saying, look, Alex, I, I
• 55:05
  can see you're going through something and you can tell me
• 55:07
  you're fine, you're good. But I know you're going through
• 55:09
  something and I'm here for you. You may not want to talk about
• 55:11
  it right now, but I'm going to be here.
• 55:13
  So it goes back to what you said earlier, Like, hey, if
• 55:15
  somebody's suffering and doesn't want to talk, look, I know you
• 55:18
  don't want to talk to me right now, but maybe you want to talk
• 55:21
  to me in a couple days. I'm going to keep checking in on
• 55:23
  you. I'm going to keep doing things
• 55:24
  for you. I'm going to try to keep you
• 55:27
  there because I don't want you to become a statistic.
• 55:28
  I don't want you to die on me because you're important to me.
• 55:31
  I care about you and notice the I statements.
• 55:34
  I care not this. We oh, we who's we?
• 55:36
  I care about you, man, because I enjoy your podcast.
• 55:39
  I don't want anything to happen to you.
• 55:41
  And then I look for a hook and I say, look, you got kids, man,
• 55:44
  who they need your dad. They need you in your life.
• 55:48
  So. Wow, yeah, it's heavy stuff,
• 55:50
  man. It is.
• 55:51
  But it's real stuff though. That's the.
• 55:52
  Thing it is, it's really real now and unfortunately, you know,
• 55:56
  we don't talk enough about this. It's suicide tends to be a taboo
• 56:00
  topic, but there's people out there that listen to this
• 56:03
  podcast and have people and they know, especially with holidays
• 56:05
  coming up and things like that. 100%.
• 56:07
  If you live in the Midwest, you know darn well we get like, what
• 56:11
  if we're lucky, 7-8 hours a daylight?
• 56:13
  Yeah. And that's impacting people,
• 56:15
  too. Totally.
• 56:16
  But when you also consider how many people don't have that
• 56:20
  opportunity to talk to somebody or they're, I don't know what to
• 56:24
  say to them, just say, hey, man, I care about you.
• 56:27
  Yeah, Hey, I want to know what's going.
• 56:28
  On phone calls, conversations. Whatever you're comfortable
• 56:31
  with. Yeah, what you were somewhere in
• 56:33
  May that you're. Mentioning earlier we were
• 56:35
  talking about yeah, yeah, that was that was very interesting.
• 56:38
  So I yeah, I do. I've done a lot of global
• 56:40
  training and one of the things was training the national
• 56:46
  Ukrainian police force. Really.
• 56:49
  Yeah. You.
• 56:49
  Were in Ukraine. I was in Kiev.
• 56:51
  In Kiev. Wow.
• 56:52
  And what was that like? It was, you know, there were
• 56:56
  bomb alerts and things like that.
• 56:57
  We had to go in the shelter a few times.
• 56:59
  We were able to get through all the training.
• 57:00
  We did 80 hour training with them because it was a trainer,
• 57:03
  trainer model. It was a phenomenal experience.
• 57:07
  Unfortunately because of how things happened it became just a
• 57:11
  one and done. There were supposed to be
• 57:12
  multiple trainings but unfortunately it was just a one
• 57:16
  and done. But I've been there before pre
• 57:20
  war where it was, you know, you could fly right in and
• 57:22
  everything. This was a little bit different,
• 57:24
  but it was a phenomenal experience.
• 57:26
  It was. I had to.
• 57:27
  How'd? You get in there.
• 57:28
  I mean, you got to sneak in there almost, don't you?
• 57:30
  Yeah, I'm not going to get into that, but it's planes, trains
• 57:34
  and. On a fair conversation.
• 57:36
  Planes, trains and on will be. There you go.
• 57:38
  That's really what it is. And I had a had another my Co
• 57:43
  instructor with me. her and I both created this program.
• 57:47
  It was just a great experience and they're still using the
• 57:51
  program. A lot of the things we taught
• 57:52
  them. So when we talk about imagery
• 57:56
  and meditation and the adult coloring books and stuff like
• 57:59
  that, we instituted that and they they loved it.
• 58:02
  They loved it because of the, well they have high PTFD rate.
• 58:05
  Obviously there was a lot of stuff that was eye opening.
• 58:09
  The food was great. The people were great.
• 58:12
  Yes, there was a level of there was hazardous duty pay.
• 58:15
  There were things that you had to be very careful of.
• 58:17
  There was a curfew, but. How did you get that
• 58:21
  opportunity? Friends.
• 58:23
  Really. Yeah, it's there are there are a
• 58:28
  number of people, number of contacts.
• 58:30
  I had one individual who I've known for many years and he was
• 58:33
  working out there and he put myself and my Co trainer
• 58:38
  together. We never knew each other.
• 58:39
  We're good friends to this day. Obviously when you go through
• 58:41
  nearly three weeks together in the environment, you you form a
• 58:44
  bond. Her and I are good friends.
• 58:47
  We it was something he was trying to put together for a
• 58:51
  couple years and finally came to fruition and it was, it was
• 58:54
  pretty cool. It was pretty cool.
• 58:55
  I imagine your wife and kids were like, you're going where?
• 58:58
  It was something that, yeah, if, if they weren't on board, it
• 59:03
  would have been different story. But they were on board.
• 59:05
  They, you know, there was a level of being nervous and you
• 59:08
  know, you were, you had your head on a swivel.
• 59:12
  Yeah, for sure. You had to be careful with that
• 59:14
  so. Yeah, wow.
• 59:15
  Yeah, so as, but yeah, that's, that's something that yeah, once
• 59:20
  in a lifetime opportunity and something that it's pretty cool.
• 59:23
  Man, I even thought to myself last night if if things were
• 59:25
  different over there, the opportunity came up, yeah, I'd
• 59:27
  go back. Yeah, you know.
• 59:30
  It's hopefully that whole conflict gets resolved soon, but
• 59:33
  I don't know. We'll see, man.
• 59:34
  I see. Out of that stuff.
• 59:35
  Yeah, same. So last question as we wrap
• 59:37
  things up here, we have a founder talk club which is a
• 59:40
  community of people. Some people have been on the
• 59:41
  show that are a part of it. Other people are just joining in
• 59:43
  their listeners and we sometimes ask questions that they can ask
• 59:46
  for the guests coming on. And so one of the questions that
• 59:48
  we got from GAIL was how do you approach designing curriculum or
• 59:52
  training and do you a, do you do a training needs analysis?
• 59:57
  We have a lot of entrepreneurs that teach, coach, train, do
• 1:00:00
  keynotes, all this different stuff and so.
• 1:00:02
  Curious to hear your answer there.
• 1:00:03
  I love what GAIL just said. One of the biggest things that
• 1:00:06
  we said earlier on we, I don't do off the shelf training.
• 1:00:10
  So I do needs assessment all the time.
• 1:00:12
  So when I have a new client or agency come to me, I'll give you
• 1:00:15
  a good example. We do this one.
• 1:00:18
  I'm not trying to do infomercial here, but we have, we have a
• 1:00:21
  very popular course with sexual harassment discrimination.
• 1:00:24
  So we can tailor it to any agency or any organization.
• 1:00:28
  What we do, we can do like a 2 hour or 4 hour, typically 2 hour
• 1:00:32
  and everybody says, oh here, read the zero tolerance policy
• 1:00:37
  and check off the box. This is a little bit different
• 1:00:39
  because we look at your policy and we incorporate it into the
• 1:00:42
  training and give examples and make it interactive.
• 1:00:45
  But it's based upon give me what your SO PS are.
• 1:00:49
  Give me all that stuff. Let me review it.
• 1:00:51
  Let me incorporate it into the slides.
• 1:00:52
  Let me build something that's specific for your company.
• 1:00:55
  And there we bring all the people in.
• 1:00:58
  And however, I did one for a countrywide agency.
• 1:01:01
  I trained over 500 people and we did about 10-11 sessions to get
• 1:01:04
  everybody and what we did we had OK guys this is in your Sops and
• 1:01:11
  we covered different parts. But then we said hey this is
• 1:01:14
  what happens when XY and Z happens.
• 1:01:16
  And we gave scenarios and test questions and talks about what
• 1:01:20
  happens if you have a Co worker and you're their boss and
• 1:01:26
  they're pregnant and can you go up to them and ask them are you
• 1:01:30
  pregnant or when you yeah, no, don't do that.
• 1:01:33
  Or how about, hey, when are you going to, when are you going to
• 1:01:35
  take leave? You can't ask that either.
• 1:01:37
  It's the onus is on the individual to tell you, yeah,
• 1:01:39
  I'm pregnant, I'm going to leave, you know, on my 8th month
• 1:01:42
  and December 1st. I'm going to take time.
• 1:01:44
  But you can't ask them. Yeah.
• 1:01:46
  So people don't know that. And then how many times you get
• 1:01:49
  third party? Could you imagine asking
• 1:01:50
  somebody if they're pregnant and they're not?
• 1:01:53
  Yeah, no, just avoid that. Man, that would be a bad.
• 1:01:56
  Scenario, well, it's, it's any of those kind of questions just
• 1:01:58
  nowadays you have to avoid it. But even what people don't
• 1:02:01
  realize when you get a vendor that comes in, that vendor's
• 1:02:04
  still an extension of you. If they do something that can
• 1:02:08
  derail your company as well. So back to Gail's .1 of the
• 1:02:12
  things gain new clients is wonderful, but assessing their
• 1:02:16
  needs. So you're not just pulling stuff
• 1:02:17
  off the shelf right now. There are clients that say,
• 1:02:20
  look, just put this together or I'll just send them, you know,
• 1:02:24
  a, I'll send them their, you know what they want in a
• 1:02:28
  proposal and send an RFP and they're like, oh, this is
• 1:02:31
  exactly what we want. And like, do you want anything
• 1:02:32
  tweaked or anything? No.
• 1:02:34
  Cool. All right, You know, it goes to
• 1:02:36
  what they need. Yeah, right.
• 1:02:37
  We do the same thing from a marketing standpoint and we're
• 1:02:39
  working with companies, strategy, coaching, training
• 1:02:42
  their teams. We do a survey that we send out
• 1:02:44
  and it's very detailed and then we have a conversation and we
• 1:02:46
  base it around what are you trying to accomplish?
• 1:02:48
  Where are you at now? Where do you want to go?
• 1:02:50
  And let's help you get there, cuz then they're happier once
• 1:02:52
  you get there and everyone's clear on what you want to
• 1:02:54
  accomplish. One of my 4 hour trainings.
• 1:02:57
  There are some people that I'll ask them just an example.
• 1:03:00
  Do you need suicide assessment like the QPR?
• 1:03:03
  We got that already. Can you focus in on marital,
• 1:03:06
  marital communication, marital relationships along with all the
• 1:03:09
  other stuff? Sure.
• 1:03:10
  So it's kind of like putting different modules within the
• 1:03:16
  training and so that, but you can't get that unless you ask
• 1:03:19
  your client. That's right.
• 1:03:20
  So another another thing too, when I work with different
• 1:03:23
  agencies, depending on what training, you know, if it's a
• 1:03:26
  police agency, I'll have to do a ride along just to get the feel.
• 1:03:29
  Wow, that's cool. Yeah, I haven't done that for a
• 1:03:32
  while because kind of get what they do is working with a lot of
• 1:03:36
  them and there are some places I'm like I'm not going to ride
• 1:03:38
  along. We'll take out the SWAT team.
• 1:03:41
  You're like, I'm OK, I'll. Not that that what I do.
• 1:03:43
  Actually, I did a ride along in an agency in Arizona and it was
• 1:03:48
  phenomenal. Yeah, that'd be cool.
• 1:03:50
  I'd be down to that. That would be that was that was
• 1:03:53
  that was one of the best ride alongs ever because it's like
• 1:03:56
  you are. Yeah, they yeah.
• 1:03:58
  What a great agency. That's cool.
• 1:03:59
  Yeah. Wow.
• 1:04:00
  Yeah. Nick, thank you so much for
• 1:04:02
  being on the show, man. It's a real pleasure.
• 1:04:03
  I wasn't sure how this conversation was going to go,
• 1:04:04
  but I got to say I was. I was.
• 1:04:07
  It's better than I thought. Yeah.
• 1:04:08
  So appreciate you. All right.
• 1:04:10
  Thank you so much. Where?
• 1:04:10
  Can people find you, connect to you, learn more about you?
• 1:04:12
  They can find me if they go to, if they look up C3 Education and
• 1:04:16
  Research, they will find a website.
• 1:04:19
  They could, they'll find me on there.
• 1:04:20
  And yeah, they can connect with me on there and they can also
• 1:04:25
  just look up my name as well. I'm pretty well known on if you
• 1:04:29
  Google my name. But yeah, yeah, C3 Education
• 1:04:32
  Research, my contact information is there and cell number as well
• 1:04:37
  as yeah. Yeah, all the way.
• 1:04:40
  All right, There you go. We'll we'll link it up in the
• 1:04:41
  description so they can click one button, go to your website,
• 1:04:44
  link to wherever. But I really appreciate you on
• 1:04:46
  the show. This is a great conversation,
• 1:04:47
  man. Thanks.
• 1:04:48
  Great. And thank you for the gift too.
• 1:04:49
  No problem. Appreciate you.
• 1:04:50
  Thank you. Thanks.