Latest / Why You Got Sick: How Emotion Drives Chronic Illness & Healing in Women / Why Women With Chronic Illness and Autoimmune Disease Are Exhausted From Fighting to Heal — And What Actually Works Instead

Transcript

Why Women With Chronic Illness and Autoimmune Disease Are Exhausted From Fighting to Heal — And What Actually Works Instead · Why You Got Sick: How Emotion Drives Chronic Illness & Healing in Women

• 0:03
  [SPEAKER_00]: Welcome to Hill Yourself with the Law of Attraction.
• 0:05
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm your host Tecla, and I'm ready to guide you in a transformative journey of holistic health and self-discovery using the power of the law of attraction.
• 0:14
  [SPEAKER_00]: We've all heard tales of manifesting fortunes and jet-centered ventures.
• 0:18
  [SPEAKER_00]: But this, this is a different journey.
• 0:21
  [SPEAKER_00]: Here we focus on achieving abundant health, mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual.
• 0:27
  [SPEAKER_00]: With the law of attraction, I've healed chronic pain, overcome a diagnosed mental illness, and reverse PCOS.
• 0:34
  [SPEAKER_00]: We're all about realigning our energies to manifest our full potential.
• 0:38
  [SPEAKER_00]: As we focus inward, raising your vibration, you'll be astounded by the ease at which the universe responds.
• 0:44
  [SPEAKER_00]: Once you focus on yourself, the rest just falls into place.
• 0:48
  [SPEAKER_00]: My goal for each weekly episode is to provide you with practical, easy to apply steps that you can weave directly into your daily routine.
• 0:56
  [SPEAKER_00]: Together, we'll navigate the path to achieving your own health and wellness goals.
• 1:00
  [SPEAKER_00]: So let's dive right in.
• 1:03
  [SPEAKER_00]: Hello my wellness witches.
• 1:05
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm your host Tecla.
• 1:07
  [SPEAKER_00]: This is heal yourself with a lot of attraction.
• 1:09
  [SPEAKER_00]: And first up is an apology.
• 1:12
  [SPEAKER_00]: I am so sorry I'd go to do you for the last few months.
• 1:17
  [SPEAKER_00]: There was so much going on in my world personally and professionally and I just didn't have the energy to shop on the podcast and give one hundred percent.
• 1:26
  [SPEAKER_00]: I was getting to the point where I was kind of forcing myself to produce content for these episodes and we all know that nothing good comes of force.
• 1:34
  [SPEAKER_00]: I kind of needed to just step away for a minute and take that time to rest, recharge and kind of relax a little bit.
• 1:41
  [SPEAKER_00]: But I am back now, and I will say I'm going to do my best to get back to biweekly episodes, but I'm not making any promises.
• 1:50
  [SPEAKER_00]: I want this to be a place where I show up when I'm feeling creative and motivated and also a place that can step away from when I need a minute.
• 1:57
  [SPEAKER_00]: So things may be less regular.
• 2:00
  [SPEAKER_00]: When the inspiration strikes and I have things to share, I will be here.
• 2:06
  [SPEAKER_00]: But if the content isn't coming to me naturally, then I'm going to miss a week here or a week there.
• 2:11
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm also seriously considering a rebrand because this podcast has just evolved so much over the last few years as I have really.
• 2:20
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm not sure if there are any OG listeners still here with me, but thank you for your ongoing support as this space has shifted and changed over the last few years.
• 2:32
  [SPEAKER_00]: Let me give you a little update about what's been going on in my world over the past few months before we get into today's topic.
• 2:39
  [SPEAKER_00]: Firstly, I went on vacation for almost five weeks to Europe.
• 2:44
  [SPEAKER_00]: I started in London and I was there for about a week.
• 2:48
  [SPEAKER_00]: I attended a women's mastermind event and met my business coach who I've been working with since the beginning, so that was a very emotional and surreal moment for me.
• 2:59
  [SPEAKER_00]: For those that aren't familiar, a mastermind is kind of a small powerful group that comes together to get coaching and support and perspective in person, so you can really make big shifts and move faster toward your goals.
• 3:13
  [SPEAKER_00]: I have to say that being in that room with those incredible female entrepreneurs was so powerful and really forced me to step out of my comfort zone.
• 3:24
  [SPEAKER_00]: Looking back now, it wasn't really a step.
• 3:27
  [SPEAKER_00]: I was actually booted out of my comfort zone, and the shift was so huge and so sudden that I actually had to flare up while I was there.
• 3:37
  [SPEAKER_00]: My hands sort of breaking out in a huge X-Marash.
• 3:40
  [SPEAKER_00]: It was red, hot, itchy, and super angry.
• 3:44
  [SPEAKER_00]: And it started the first few hours leading up to the event, and then got gradually worse over those two days.
• 3:52
  [SPEAKER_00]: I know one hundred percent.
• 3:54
  [SPEAKER_00]: It was because those four-eight hours challenged my entire identity.
• 3:59
  [SPEAKER_00]: There was so much tension between who I showed up as and who I left as.
• 4:05
  [SPEAKER_00]: The up level in my identity and everything I stand for and where I want to take my business just compounded and happened so quickly, my body and nervous system just freaked out.
• 4:17
  [SPEAKER_00]: I actually posted videos of what the breakout looks like all over my skin while I was there and it's still up on my Instagram page if you want to go and check it out.
• 4:25
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm at manifesting Mindset Co.
• 4:29
  [SPEAKER_00]: CEO.
• 4:30
  [SPEAKER_00]: But I didn't panic about it and I didn't try and get rid of it.
• 4:33
  [SPEAKER_00]: I just had to ride it out because I knew exactly what was happening and why.
• 4:38
  [SPEAKER_00]: This new identity was a threat, and my body interpreted that as danger, and the flare-up was a warning that it was unsafe, unfamiliar, and uncontrollable.
• 4:50
  [SPEAKER_00]: But the energy of those two days was so magnetic and motivational that there's no way I'm going back to that old identity, so I'm working on normalizing this new one.
• 5:02
  [SPEAKER_00]: This is the perfect example of what can happen when you make the decision to shift into an identity that serves you and your goals better.
• 5:11
  [SPEAKER_00]: This happens with healing, too, when you decide that you aren't sick anymore, but you're healing.
• 5:18
  [SPEAKER_00]: I've seen similar flare-ups happen because all of a sudden the mind freaks out and it's trying to keep you safe.
• 5:24
  [SPEAKER_00]: And what's familiar is safe and more controllable so once the pull you back,
• 5:30
  [SPEAKER_00]: that you have to push through and gently work with your nervous system to normalize that new identity, or you'll never move forward in life or healing.
• 5:40
  [SPEAKER_00]: A few days after I left London, my skin was back to normal and actually the best it's been all year I would say.
• 5:48
  [SPEAKER_00]: Was it because I was in my spiritual homeland of Italy?
• 5:51
  [SPEAKER_00]: I would like to think so, but I also think I made time for my nervous system to recalibrate.
• 5:57
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm gonna go with it was a little bit of both.
• 6:00
  [SPEAKER_00]: Italy was amazing.
• 6:02
  [SPEAKER_00]: The last time I was there, I was eleven or twelve.
• 6:05
  [SPEAKER_00]: I am Italian, I have a passport, I am a citizen, but I've only ever been to Rome for a few days as a kid.
• 6:12
  [SPEAKER_00]: My whole family has been back several times, and I haven't been able to make those trips, so I went from London to Milan, then to Chinkwatera, where I hiked the high trail with a friend from high school, which was insane.
• 6:26
  [SPEAKER_00]: Then I traveled to Bologna, where I reconnected with my auntie Tekla, my name's Sake, then I went to Florence, and I ended up in Rome for about a week.
• 6:36
  [SPEAKER_00]: It couldn't have been a better trip to be honest.
• 6:39
  [SPEAKER_00]: There were so many highlights.
• 6:41
  [SPEAKER_00]: And my love for Italy has only grown even more.
• 6:46
  [SPEAKER_00]: When I got home within twenty four hours, I started feeling really terrible.
• 6:51
  [SPEAKER_00]: I actually thought I had the mumps, but it turned out to be COVID.
• 6:55
  [SPEAKER_00]: It hit me so hard on like it ever has before.
• 7:00
  [SPEAKER_00]: I had excruciating jaw pain, neck pain, headaches, swollen lymph nodes.
• 7:05
  [SPEAKER_00]: It absolutely took me out.
• 7:07
  [SPEAKER_00]: I was literally bedridden for days.
• 7:10
  [SPEAKER_00]: I had no energy, it was rough.
• 7:14
  [SPEAKER_00]: It took me two weeks to really start filling normal again.
• 7:17
  [SPEAKER_00]: Then last week I had another flare up of it and that took me out for another few days.
• 7:23
  [SPEAKER_00]: It definitely wasn't ideal but pushing for five weeks to see absolutely everything and so can as much as possible and walk twenty thousand steps a day, probably left my system really weak and vulnerable.
• 7:35
  [SPEAKER_00]: So I'm not super surprised that it hit me hard.
• 7:38
  [SPEAKER_00]: And that brings me back to you here and now.
• 7:42
  [SPEAKER_00]: So today's topic relates to something really personal from my past.
• 7:47
  [SPEAKER_00]: What we're talking about today is it from a book?
• 7:50
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's not a quote that I saved from a podcast.
• 7:52
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's something I lived and something I've cared with me for years.
• 7:57
  [SPEAKER_00]: While I was on vacation, there was someone I kept thinking about just kind of out of nowhere.
• 8:03
  [SPEAKER_00]: My old rowing coach kept popping into my mind.
• 8:06
  [SPEAKER_00]: I haven't spoken about her, I think on the podcast, ever.
• 8:10
  [SPEAKER_00]: But the memories were with me while I was away.
• 8:14
  [SPEAKER_00]: It was like I was remembering some version of me that I hadn't thought about in decades.
• 8:20
  [SPEAKER_00]: She passed away in a tragic accident before I went to college.
• 8:24
  [SPEAKER_00]: But honestly, she was one of the first people who ever showed me the power of mindset.
• 8:29
  [SPEAKER_00]: And it wasn't in the self-help way that it talked about now, but in this real raw, gritty, real life way.
• 8:37
  [SPEAKER_00]: She believed that your mind would always give out before your body did, and that if you could learn to stay in it, even when it got hard, you'd win.
• 8:48
  [SPEAKER_00]: I only had the opportunity to spend a few years with her, but I look back now and realize how much those years shaped me.
• 8:56
  [SPEAKER_00]: She didn't just make me a better athlete.
• 8:59
  [SPEAKER_00]: She introduced me to a way of thinking that ended up becoming the foundation of how I healed.
• 9:05
  [SPEAKER_00]: She had this thing she used to say all the time.
• 9:09
  [SPEAKER_00]: Winning is about who can keep their hand in the fire the longest.
• 9:14
  [SPEAKER_00]: And at the time, I thought I got that.
• 9:16
  [SPEAKER_00]: I thought it meant you had to work harder than the girl sitting next to you.
• 9:20
  [SPEAKER_00]: Push through more pain, dig deeper.
• 9:24
  [SPEAKER_00]: but I was seeing it through the lens of sport, through the physical.
• 9:28
  [SPEAKER_00]: Now, years later, I hear that quote and it hits totally differently.
• 9:33
  [SPEAKER_00]: I get what she meant, but in an emotional way now, I get it through the lens of chronic illness, through the lens of healing, because healing isn't about doing more.
• 9:45
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's about staying in it.
• 9:48
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's about staying in the fire when your mind is screaming for you to get out.
• 9:54
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's about not running the second it gets uncomfortable, and that's the part of healing nobody really talks about.
• 10:01
  [SPEAKER_00]: When you decide you're gonna heal, when you really commit to shifting the energy behind your illness and letting go of the emotional weight you've been caring for years, it's not light, it's not this blissful experience.
• 10:17
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's confronting, it's messy.
• 10:20
  [SPEAKER_00]: and it can bring up everything you've worked so hard to bury.
• 10:23
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's in those moments when it flares, when you're exhausted, when you're scared, that the old version of you would tap out.
• 10:33
  [SPEAKER_00]: And that's the fire.
• 10:34
  [SPEAKER_00]: That's the moment you either stay in and come out changed, or you pull your hand back and start the cycle all over again.
• 10:43
  [SPEAKER_00]: Having the courage to heal is really harder than the healing itself, I think.
• 10:49
  [SPEAKER_00]: You have to put yourself out there.
• 10:52
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's super risky and you have to be vulnerable with yourself.
• 10:56
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's unknown territory.
• 10:57
  [SPEAKER_00]: You're gonna try things and fail.
• 10:59
  [SPEAKER_00]: You're gonna try some other things and you might see some progress and then feel like you're back at square one.
• 11:05
  [SPEAKER_00]: You have to keep showing up.
• 11:07
  [SPEAKER_00]: Keep the hope alive and the desire and the will to fight for the life you want.
• 11:13
  [SPEAKER_00]: You have to really believe in your core that it is possible to heal.
• 11:19
  [SPEAKER_00]: that the healthy version of you not only exists as this figurative goal, but a reality.
• 11:26
  [SPEAKER_00]: And every single day you're working toward aligning yourself with that person.
• 11:32
  [SPEAKER_00]: That's mentally super hard to navigate, and that's where you also need to stay in it, where you absolutely need to have your hand in that fire.
• 11:41
  [SPEAKER_00]: You have to be willing to get burned, metaphorically speaking, of course.
• 11:47
  [SPEAKER_00]: Healing in this way takes guts.
• 11:50
  [SPEAKER_00]: You have to face all your inner demons and you have to be willing to see all the parts of yourself, especially those parts of you that you don't acknowledge that you hide away that you bury in the basement of your mind.
• 12:03
  [SPEAKER_00]: Those things about you that you aren't proud of and don't advertise, you're shadow self.
• 12:09
  [SPEAKER_00]: That's what they call it in the spiritual community.
• 12:12
  [SPEAKER_00]: We all have a shadow self.
• 12:14
  [SPEAKER_00]: We all have qualities and characteristics that we shine and ignore and don't talk about because we don't want people to know.
• 12:22
  [SPEAKER_00]: That's what's so fucking tough about healing.
• 12:25
  [SPEAKER_00]: You've got to shine a light on all of that darkness.
• 12:28
  [SPEAKER_00]: You don't have to broadcast it, but you've got to say, I see this within me and I accept it.
• 12:35
  [SPEAKER_00]: That's all.
• 12:37
  [SPEAKER_00]: That's what you need to have the courage to do.
• 12:40
  [SPEAKER_00]: I see this quality, whatever it is, selfishness, laziness, arrogance, entitlement, dishonesty, and accept that it is within me.
• 12:51
  [SPEAKER_00]: We all have them.
• 12:52
  [SPEAKER_00]: And pretending they don't exist is what's impacting your ability to heal.
• 12:57
  [SPEAKER_00]: I promise you, you've got to be brave and face those demons.
• 13:02
  [SPEAKER_00]: If you don't, they hold power over you.
• 13:06
  [SPEAKER_00]: And it impacts how you show up, how you make decisions, and how you interact with others and the world.
• 13:13
  [SPEAKER_00]: So, can you keep your hand in the fire long enough to face those things?
• 13:19
  [SPEAKER_00]: I want you to remember the law of polarity here.
• 13:22
  [SPEAKER_00]: Everything exists on a spectrum or a continuum.
• 13:26
  [SPEAKER_00]: Light cannot exist without darkness.
• 13:29
  [SPEAKER_00]: Shadow traits don't exist in isolation.
• 13:32
  [SPEAKER_00]: On the other end of each one, there's a positive quality made of the exact same stuff.
• 13:38
  [SPEAKER_00]: Think of control.
• 13:40
  [SPEAKER_00]: On one side, it can look like being overbearing or micromanaging.
• 13:44
  [SPEAKER_00]: On the other side, it's leadership direction.
• 13:47
  [SPEAKER_00]: The ability to create order in chaos.
• 13:50
  [SPEAKER_00]: Same energy, different expression.
• 13:54
  [SPEAKER_00]: Let's take selfishness.
• 13:56
  [SPEAKER_00]: At one extreme, it's taking without care for others.
• 14:00
  [SPEAKER_00]: At the other, it's self-honoring, setting boundaries, and making sure you're not running yourself into the ground.
• 14:08
  [SPEAKER_00]: Shadow traits are just qualities turned up too high, used in the wrong context or driven by fear instead of intention.
• 14:16
  [SPEAKER_00]: They're not separate from the good parts of you.
• 14:19
  [SPEAKER_00]: They're the same energy just sitting at a different point on the spectrum.
• 14:24
  [SPEAKER_00]: This work is about being able to say, I accept that this lives in me.
• 14:29
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm not hiding from it or justifying it or pretending it's only another people.
• 14:36
  [SPEAKER_00]: The moment you can admit that, yes, I can be selfish.
• 14:40
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yes, I can be manipulative.
• 14:42
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yes, I can be judgmental.
• 14:44
  [SPEAKER_00]: You stop wasting energy running from it.
• 14:47
  [SPEAKER_00]: You can see why it's there and what it's trying to do for you and how to channel that same energy in a healthier way.
• 14:55
  [SPEAKER_00]: When you reject a shadow trait, you keep it in the dark which means it often runs the show in these sneaky little ways.
• 15:02
  [SPEAKER_00]: When you accept it,
• 15:04
  [SPEAKER_00]: you bring it into the light, and that's where you get a choice.
• 15:09
  [SPEAKER_00]: Healing is all about choices like this.
• 15:12
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's about who doesn't run from them, because not choosing is still choosing.
• 15:19
  [SPEAKER_00]: Avoiding making a decision is still making a choice to run and hide.
• 15:24
  [SPEAKER_00]: So think about this.
• 15:26
  [SPEAKER_00]: Can you commit to yourself and healing even when things inevitably take a turn?
• 15:33
  [SPEAKER_00]: Even when new symptoms come up.
• 15:36
  [SPEAKER_00]: Even if someone tells you, you'll never recover from this.
• 15:40
  [SPEAKER_00]: Can you face those dark parts of yourself with courage and bravery and acceptance?
• 15:47
  [SPEAKER_00]: Can you stick in it when things get tough?
• 15:51
  [SPEAKER_00]: The hardest part of healing is this mental battle.
• 15:54
  [SPEAKER_00]: That's where people win and that's where people lose.
• 15:59
  [SPEAKER_00]: People who heal are those who can keep their hand in the fire for the longest.
• 16:05
  [SPEAKER_00]: Something I hope you know about me is that I don't run from a fight.
• 16:09
  [SPEAKER_00]: Am I get shaken?
• 16:10
  [SPEAKER_00]: I might pause.
• 16:11
  [SPEAKER_00]: Am I changed direction?
• 16:13
  [SPEAKER_00]: But I don't fucking run.
• 16:14
  [SPEAKER_00]: When someone says you can't do this, ooh, that energy lied something up in me immediately.
• 16:22
  [SPEAKER_00]: And my reaction is fucking watch me.
• 16:25
  [SPEAKER_00]: That's the energy I want you to have.
• 16:28
  [SPEAKER_00]: Nobody is telling me what kind of life I can or cannot live.
• 16:32
  [SPEAKER_00]: Nobody gets to control me.
• 16:35
  [SPEAKER_00]: I've been there in the past for too long and had people who've manipulated me.
• 16:40
  [SPEAKER_00]: Micromanage me, taking advantage of me, told me I'm out of options.
• 16:45
  [SPEAKER_00]: Said the words, you'll have to deal with this for life.
• 16:49
  [SPEAKER_00]: Nope, I'm not having it.
• 16:51
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm absolutely not having it.
• 16:52
  [SPEAKER_00]: I tell this to my clients all the time.
• 16:56
  [SPEAKER_00]: One day, you're going to be looking back at this very version of yourself right here and right now, and you're going to be so grateful.
• 17:05
  [SPEAKER_00]: Grateful that that version of you, even when they were in it, even when the fire was burning, even when things were dark and tough and you were consumed with physical symptoms.
• 17:17
  [SPEAKER_00]: You're gonna be grateful that they didn't give up.
• 17:20
  [SPEAKER_00]: I owe everything to that version of me who heard those words, this is a chronic illness.
• 17:25
  [SPEAKER_00]: She actually heard those words twice, and she didn't accept that reality.
• 17:31
  [SPEAKER_00]: Because I wouldn't be here where I am today without her.
• 17:35
  [SPEAKER_00]: She had courage and bravery, and it was fucking messy, and the journey didn't look anything like it was planned.
• 17:42
  [SPEAKER_00]: But she stayed in it.
• 17:44
  [SPEAKER_00]: She continued to shop even when it felt like everything was collapsing around her.
• 17:49
  [SPEAKER_00]: She kept her hand in that fire, and now I know, even in my darkest hour, I'm never gonna give up on myself.
• 17:58
  [SPEAKER_00]: Can you make that same commitment?
• 18:01
  [SPEAKER_00]: Can you say, I'm never gonna give up?
• 18:06
  [SPEAKER_00]: If this podcast today has lit something within you and you're feeling inspired and motivated and like you're ready to reclaim your health and your life, I want you to click on the link in the show notes and apply to work with me.
• 18:19
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm opening up a handful of spots to work with me one-on-one for the remainder of the year and I'm combing through those applications, looking for the people who can keep their hand in the fire the longest.
• 18:31
  [SPEAKER_00]: So do you have the courage to take that next step now to apply and show up for yourself and change your life?
• 18:40
  [SPEAKER_00]: I hope to hear from you soon.
• 18:41
  [SPEAKER_00]: All right friends, that's where I'm leaving things today.
• 18:45
  [SPEAKER_00]: Your girl is back, peace, love, and mong beans.
• 18:48
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'll hopefully see you in two weeks.
• 18:50
  [SPEAKER_00]: Bye.