Latest / Two Personal with Joy Taylor / Tate Brothers Arrested, The Odyssey Backlash & The Money Talk Every Couple Needs

Transcript

Tate Brothers Arrested, The Odyssey Backlash & The Money Talk Every Couple Needs · Two Personal with Joy Taylor

0:00
Speaker 1: Look, I've got news for you. You're not better because
0:03
Speaker 1: you have to wear more sunscreen. Hey guys, welcome to
0:09
Speaker 1: to Personal on the Road edition. We haven't done one
0:13
Speaker 1: of these in a while because we have been pretty
0:17
Speaker 1: serious about being in studio. But it's the summer and
0:20
Speaker 1: I have got shit going on. I was just in
0:23
Speaker 1: New York for an entire week. Sorry, I'm paranoid that
0:27
Speaker 1: my microphone is on. I was just in New York
0:30
Speaker 1: for an entire week. I'm a shell of a person.
0:32
Speaker 1: Before New York, I was in Vegas and I have
0:35
Speaker 1: been working. These have not been for fun trips. These
0:38
Speaker 1: have been I'm working on a very big project which
0:41
Speaker 1: we will reveal very soon. But yeah, so I am
0:47
Speaker 1: not able to be in studio for our usual Tuesday episode,
0:51
Speaker 1: but Haley's joining me. So thanks to the advancements of technology,
0:54
Speaker 1: we will do our episode on the Road this week.
1:00
Speaker 1: And yeah, so Haley, what is going on in the world.
1:06
Speaker 2: Well, there's a lot. I want to start with the
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Speaker 2: tape Brothers arrest.
1:09
Speaker 3: So for those of you who don't know, because I
1:12
Speaker 3: myself did not know much of them, but for you, yeah,
1:16
Speaker 3: I mean.
1:16
Speaker 2: I think when I went back and was looking at clips.
1:18
Speaker 3: I think I saw some tidbits, but yeah. Anyways, they
1:21
Speaker 3: are two British American brothers who first gained attention through
1:25
Speaker 3: kickboxing and have become famous as Internet personalities and influencers,
1:29
Speaker 3: which I will add have been banned from several social
1:32
Speaker 3: media platforms. Supporters say that Andrew motivates men to be
1:38
Speaker 3: disciplined and successful, while critics argue his content promotes misogyny.
1:43
Speaker 3: The brothers and I those criticisms, and this weekend they
1:46
Speaker 3: were arrested by US Marshalls in Miami on a UK
1:50
Speaker 3: extradition warrant. The UK prosecutors have added dozens of charges,
1:55
Speaker 3: bringing the total to fifty nine. Some of the allegations
1:58
Speaker 3: include rape, human trafficking, sexual assault, in an Andrew's case,
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Speaker 3: possessing indecent images of a child. They've denied all allegations
2:08
Speaker 3: and their attorney says the case is politically motivated, which
2:11
Speaker 3: he said about the last few times that there were
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Speaker 3: arrests made and even.
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Speaker 2: House arrest issued.
2:16
Speaker 3: So it got me thinking, with these public figures and
2:22
Speaker 3: these arrests that have been happening more and more as
2:24
Speaker 3: of lately, do we feel like their influence changes how
2:28
Speaker 3: we should hold them accountable or take their accountability, or
2:31
Speaker 3: does the conversation need to stay strictly about the legal process,
2:34
Speaker 3: because there is the court of public opinion, as we're
2:37
Speaker 3: very familiar with.
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Speaker 2: So I want to get your take on this.
2:40
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean the court of public opinion only matters
2:44
Speaker 1: for the consumer and how they want to move forward.
2:49
Speaker 1: So when we talk about canceling people because the cancel
2:53
Speaker 1: culture conversation, it's always bothered me because it just is nonsensical.
2:59
Speaker 1: I have no obligation to listen to anyone's music, to
3:02
Speaker 1: watch anyone's YouTube show, to watch anyone's television show or movie,
3:07
Speaker 1: to go to their comedy show. As a consumer, I
3:12
Speaker 1: can do whatever I want, and if you do something
3:15
Speaker 1: I don't like, I can choose to stop consuming your products.
3:20
Speaker 1: That's how it works. It's not canceling. No one's making
3:24
Speaker 1: me not watch your movies anymore. You are, so, Yes,
3:30
Speaker 1: Do advertisers stop working with people because of public pressure? Yeah,
3:36
Speaker 1: because the advertisers would like to keep the public using
3:39
Speaker 1: their products, which they're allowed to do because there's no
3:44
Speaker 1: obligation to continue working with someone after they've done something
3:47
Speaker 1: that's pissed a lot of people off. So do I
3:51
Speaker 1: think there's a mob mentality when it comes to things?
3:54
Speaker 1: Of course, I've dealt with that personally. I'm quite aware
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Speaker 1: of how that works. And sometimes it's because of something
4:02
Speaker 1: that's not true, and sometimes it's because of something that
4:04
Speaker 1: is true, and sometimes it's because of something that is
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Speaker 1: criminal and or allegedly criminal. And in this case, they've been
4:09
Speaker 1: They have been arrested multiple times for horrific allegations. These
4:14
Speaker 1: are international arrests. So I don't know who is politically
4:18
Speaker 1: behind it. Which politics is politics? Because they don't have
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Speaker 1: shit to do with American politics? Is it Romanian politics?
4:28
Speaker 1: Do you know anything about Romanian politics? Now, I can
4:30
Speaker 1: admit that I don't, But I'm pretty sure that the
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Speaker 1: Romanians and the UK authorities and the Americans don't give
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Speaker 1: a fuck about some misogynistic influencer y yaaa high horse
4:47
Speaker 1: here who gives a fuck about the Tape brothers out
4:50
Speaker 1: here looking like a t mu pit bull. And that's
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Speaker 1: disrespect to Pitbull because Pipple puts that shit on. He's
4:56
Speaker 1: outed with his ankles bear, okay, showing up for somebody,
5:00
Speaker 1: but it ain't the ladies. I have never seen an
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Speaker 1: ankle that I gave a fuck about got his shirt
5:05
Speaker 1: down to his belly button. He looks ridiculous, like, I'm
5:10
Speaker 1: I'm tired of this, Like everything is politically motivated. Who
5:15
Speaker 1: are the politicians that care draw me? The you know,
5:19
Speaker 1: the the in the court shows, in the in the
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Speaker 1: cop shows with like the breads and the culprit. Explain
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Speaker 1: to me how Romania, the US and the UK have
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Speaker 1: time to be concerned about taking down the Tap Brothers
5:38
Speaker 1: for some politically motivated What parts of politics do they
5:42
Speaker 1: even work in their YouTube hosts? Yeah, he sounds fucking stupid.
5:50
Speaker 1: They are terrible people.
5:53
Speaker 2: If those clips I watched were insane.
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Speaker 1: They're terrible people. They're closeted gay men who hate women,
6:01
Speaker 1: and they are male centered. They do it for the boys. Baby,
6:05
Speaker 1: you're not doing it for us. You do it for
6:08
Speaker 1: the boys. You do all this for male attention, and
6:11
Speaker 1: if you are somebody who admires them, you do it
6:13
Speaker 1: for male attention too. And I wish that you would
6:15
Speaker 1: just come out and say that you want male attention.
6:19
Speaker 1: There are so many of these men who are either
6:23
Speaker 1: closeted and they hate women or they just hate women.
6:27
Speaker 1: I genuinely do not like women, and they want male attention.
6:33
Speaker 1: They want their bros to care about what they're doing.
6:36
Speaker 1: They want other men to endorse what they say and do. Honey,
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Speaker 1: leave us out of it. What do we have to
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Speaker 1: do with it. You're constantly talking about women this women
6:45
Speaker 1: that women need to submit, women need to women only
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Speaker 1: have this value. You're obsessed with us, you're angry, we're
6:54
Speaker 1: not obsessed with you, and you want male attention. So
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Speaker 1: I just I don't I don't know anything about his brother,
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Speaker 1: nor do I care. It seems like he's get along
7:06
Speaker 1: little sidekick boy. But yeah, I mean, the captain of
7:10
Speaker 1: the worm Boys has has gone down again. He had
7:14
Speaker 1: his ankles out for you guys, though, he had his
7:19
Speaker 1: little lotion belly button out for you. I'm just, I
7:22
Speaker 1: really do not understand what the politics are. Who who
7:28
Speaker 1: is he influencing politically? Why do you think these men
7:33
Speaker 1: have this kind of power? You're so weird. He's not.
7:37
Speaker 1: He's not in the illuminati. No one cares. Okay, they're
7:41
Speaker 1: they're they're hunting down an alleged sex crime offender, and
7:48
Speaker 1: you guys are out here in the comments talking about
7:51
Speaker 1: he's being silenced for what. What does Romania care about that?
7:59
Speaker 1: I do. I'm baffled. I'm befuddled as someone who is
8:04
Speaker 1: in some pretty important rooms from time to time. I truly,
8:07
Speaker 1: I truly find it actually amusing that people think that
8:11
Speaker 1: this man is that important. He's an alleged criminal. I'm
8:15
Speaker 1: sorry to pop your little bubble.
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Speaker 3: Yeah, well, I'm curious how this plays out because they've
8:22
Speaker 3: been trying to take him down for some time.
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Speaker 1: So I mean, well, yeah, I mean he gets he
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Speaker 1: gets arrested in lots of different countries.
8:28
Speaker 2: So yeah, we'll see how this plays out. I'm very curious.
8:32
Speaker 1: I love his face every time he has no chin,
8:37
Speaker 1: like baby, get a little just a little filler here
8:40
Speaker 1: to just bring out. I can't even do it. He
8:44
Speaker 1: looks like a toe. He looks like a toe that
8:47
Speaker 1: someone drew a caricature on. Yeah, he's this is his jalla,
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Speaker 1: Oh my god, an ugly man. The boys love him,
9:00
Speaker 1: they love him, they love his little say, they love
9:04
Speaker 1: him down, they loved him down. What else is crazy?
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Speaker 3: Well, I know you've been working, so I don't know
9:13
Speaker 3: if you made it to the movies.
9:15
Speaker 2: Have you seen the Odyssey yet?
9:18
Speaker 1: I have not. I've barely made it to bed, and
9:21
Speaker 1: I'm gonna tell you. This is these this is the city.
9:24
Speaker 1: Those are two cities, Vegas and New York that usually
9:27
Speaker 1: take me straight out. Okay, they tap into all of
9:31
Speaker 1: my worst inclinations. And I was so well behaved.
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Speaker 2: That's great.
9:36
Speaker 1: Not perfect nine out of ten, yeah, nine out of ten.
9:42
Speaker 1: It's usually like one point two out of ten on
9:44
Speaker 1: the on the not sitting scale. So I did really well.
9:48
Speaker 1: But yeah, I did not make it to the movies.
9:51
Speaker 1: But I have been following this Odyssey story for the
9:56
Speaker 1: entirety of it.
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Speaker 2: Yeah, people are very upset.
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Speaker 3: Do you think, first of all, do you think that
10:01
Speaker 3: we care too much as like an audience right about casting?
10:07
Speaker 1: And no, I mean I think that casting does matter,
10:12
Speaker 1: Like really, when you have stories that are very very
10:16
Speaker 1: important to people, I do think casting does matter. Like
10:21
Speaker 1: I could never really get into Fifty Shades of Gray
10:24
Speaker 1: because of the casting. Now it's it did fine, Like
10:29
Speaker 1: it didn't matter that I wasn't into the casting, like,
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Speaker 1: and I also didn't write a think piece about it.
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Speaker 1: I was just like, right, would have preferred different casting,
10:37
Speaker 1: so you know, it's not going to change my life.
10:42
Speaker 1: But also when it comes to casting fictional characters, I
10:49
Speaker 1: have bills, family, friends, shit, to do that doesn't involve
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Speaker 1: me freaking the fuck out because of a fiction casting.
11:01
Speaker 3: Yeah, people were very very upset, like and I kind
11:07
Speaker 3: of get it in a sense because it's like the
11:10
Speaker 3: interpretations of Greek mythology.
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Speaker 2: But like, still doing very well.
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Speaker 1: How much did they make?
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Speaker 2: Two hundred and sixty four million?
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Speaker 1: Yeah, they're doing fine. They're doing fine. That's opening weekend. Yeah, yeah,
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Speaker 1: they're doing fine. You know. The thing about the freaking
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Speaker 1: out about this casting was a couple of things. One
11:30
Speaker 1: I've met Lupita Lupita nu Ango was the main casting
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Speaker 1: that everyone was upset about. Was Helen of Troy, who
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Speaker 1: is in this mythological meaning fictional story. She is the
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Speaker 1: most beautiful woman in the world. And I can tell
11:51
Speaker 1: you that Lupita is in fact the most beautiful person
11:54
Speaker 1: I've ever seen, Like her and Rihanna are toe to
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Speaker 1: toe the most beautiful human beings I've seen. I met
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Speaker 1: her at a party just a few months ago, and
12:05
Speaker 1: I am usually like pretty cool about meeting people, but
12:10
Speaker 1: I couldn't stop staring at her, and I just like
12:12
Speaker 1: I had to tell her. I was like, I'm sorry,
12:13
Speaker 1: Like I know this is very weird to do, but
12:17
Speaker 1: you are so beautiful, like you are a goddess, like literally,
12:21
Speaker 1: like I can't. Her skin is perfect, she like glows
12:26
Speaker 1: her face like it's She's one of the most beautiful
12:29
Speaker 1: people I've ever seen in my life. And I am
12:30
Speaker 1: not exaggerating. I see beautiful people all the time. I
12:33
Speaker 1: have met hundreds of thousands of celebrities. I have been
12:37
Speaker 1: in rooms with people who are considered to be some
12:39
Speaker 1: of the most beautiful people in the world. And yeah,
12:42
Speaker 1: she is in she is in the top five. So
12:45
Speaker 1: the casting not a problem for me. I was like, oh,
12:48
Speaker 1: actually that makes sense because I have seen her in
12:50
Speaker 1: person with my own two eyes, not on a stage,
12:54
Speaker 1: not on a red carpet, just at someone's house. Stunning.
12:58
Speaker 1: But also the important thing is this is not a
13:02
Speaker 1: real story, so Greek mythology. In this story, there's also
13:10
Speaker 1: a cycloss Where do we find those? This is about
13:17
Speaker 1: Zeus and the underworld? Like it's this, this is thousands
13:22
Speaker 1: of years old. What are you upset about? Who did
13:26
Speaker 1: you want? By the way, you're not kicking and screaming
13:29
Speaker 1: when Elizabeth Taylor is past as Cleopatra, When you have
13:34
Speaker 1: an entire white cast of whatever, that prince of Arabia,
13:40
Speaker 1: whatever fucking movie it was. I'm done hearing about this.
13:44
Speaker 1: I really have been thinking about it. I'm done with racism.
13:46
Speaker 1: I'm done with you idiots. I've had enough. Okay, we've
13:49
Speaker 1: had it up to hear you're flipping out about castings
13:53
Speaker 1: for Greek mythology movies. You've never read this story, you
13:58
Speaker 1: don't give a fuck about about the Odyssey, you don't
14:01
Speaker 1: get you don't care about this. No one cares. The
14:04
Speaker 1: world is burning. That's the other part too, is like
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Speaker 1: I think that these outrage things that happen on the
14:08
Speaker 1: internet are not really real, Like no one's walking around
14:12
Speaker 1: having a coffee, like, oh my god, can you believe
14:14
Speaker 1: they cast Lapita Nlongo as hellan of joy there? So
14:18
Speaker 1: it really it becomes this like echel chamber on the
14:22
Speaker 1: internet of like a few people that said some racist
14:26
Speaker 1: things and it blows up into this everyone cares about
14:28
Speaker 1: this bit and they don't. But I also have had
14:31
Speaker 1: it with the racist slipping out about the Little Mermaid
14:35
Speaker 1: and the Helen of Troy. Look, I've got news for
14:39
Speaker 1: you. You're not better because you have to wear more sunscreen.
14:46
Speaker 1: Someone had to say it. You are not a superior
14:49
Speaker 1: person because you have blonde hair and blue eyes. It's
14:56
Speaker 1: it's it's truly that simple. I saw this this this
14:59
Speaker 1: thread the other day. This red posts that racism makes
15:02
Speaker 1: poor people feel like they relate to the elites, and
15:08
Speaker 1: it's such a good explanation for racism. You are not
15:11
Speaker 1: better than anyone because of the color of the skin
15:16
Speaker 1: in which you were born. No, if you believe that
15:21
Speaker 1: you are a fucking idiot and everything bad that happens
15:24
Speaker 1: to you, you absolutely deserve You've earned it in this lifetime.
15:28
Speaker 1: This is a tat learned behavior, accepted only because it
15:33
Speaker 1: makes you feel superior to other people, which you are not.
15:36
Speaker 1: You are a fucking bum and a moron. You're complaining
15:40
Speaker 1: about the casting of Helen of Troy and you wonder
15:45
Speaker 1: why you got bullied as a child. Don't think too hard.
15:51
Speaker 1: Don't think too hard, samee. You're upset because you're a
15:54
Speaker 1: fucking loser and you have been your entire life. There
15:56
Speaker 1: is no other way to land on having a take
15:59
Speaker 1: like that. Sane. So not surprised at all that the
16:03
Speaker 1: movie did well. It's it was a very anticipated film.
16:07
Speaker 1: There was also Elliott Page's casting as well. And I
16:09
Speaker 1: just also want to point out that, you know, for
16:12
Speaker 1: all to talk about this movie like you guys don't read,
16:15
Speaker 1: and we talked about this last last week. Fuckers don't read.
16:19
Speaker 1: You quite literally have no idea who Achilles was. He's
16:24
Speaker 1: one of like the most argued gay characters, like bisexual
16:29
Speaker 1: characters in literature, and you're out here worried about masculinity.
16:34
Speaker 1: I just can't. I'm very I'm very over it. I
16:37
Speaker 1: can't do another casting outrage because someone is black.
16:42
Speaker 2: It's what I need to give. Start giving the people
16:45
Speaker 2: reading lists.
16:47
Speaker 1: They can't read the work. They can't read reading lists.
16:50
Speaker 1: They don't. They can't. They can't read the two words
16:53
Speaker 1: reading lists to get through You think they're gonna do
16:56
Speaker 1: you think they're going to read the Iliad? Probably not.
17:02
Speaker 2: I can't even read a spark note, speak or function.
17:08
Speaker 1: Yeah, well what else was saying?
17:11
Speaker 3: Some lighter things. I had made a discovery this past weekend.
17:15
Speaker 3: So I've been as you.
17:17
Speaker 2: Know, I've been very busy.
17:18
Speaker 1: You've been very busy.
17:18
Speaker 3: We've been working for the past couple of months, so
17:21
Speaker 3: I haven't really made it to the gym. But you know,
17:24
Speaker 3: once you stop going to the gym and you get
17:26
Speaker 3: in the habit of not going to the gym.
17:27
Speaker 2: You kind of lose track of time.
17:29
Speaker 3: I was looking at our episode from last week and
17:31
Speaker 3: I was looking looking at my arms, and I was like, oh,
17:36
Speaker 3: I might have lost track of time, but the arms
17:38
Speaker 3: definitely did not.
17:39
Speaker 2: So I got to get back in the gym.
17:41
Speaker 1: It's wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait wait, you're saying
17:43
Speaker 1: your arms like stayed fit.
17:45
Speaker 2: No no, no, no, they it blew up.
17:50
Speaker 3: They blew up like they they listen. SIS needs to
17:54
Speaker 3: get in the gym. I haven't been since April. July
18:00
Speaker 3: is almost over April. That's insane.
18:06
Speaker 1: It's okay, first of all, your arms are fine, but
18:09
Speaker 1: what is keeping you from the gym. Well.
18:11
Speaker 3: I used to take AID in the school and then
18:14
Speaker 3: go immediately to the gym, like immediate, so I was
18:17
Speaker 3: there by like eight forty five.
18:18
Speaker 2: That was my routine.
18:19
Speaker 3: And if I didn't go to the gym when I
18:20
Speaker 3: was going to the trainer, I'd be there by like nine.
18:23
Speaker 3: That changed. I stopped going to the trainer and I
18:26
Speaker 3: was just going to the gym, and then my morning
18:28
Speaker 3: routine went into like editing and like other work routine.
18:33
Speaker 3: So then by the time I was done working, it's
18:35
Speaker 3: like lunch going getting to the gym afternoon is like, yeah,
18:40
Speaker 3: if I'm not there, you have to go.
18:42
Speaker 1: You have to go in the morning. I like, here's
18:44
Speaker 1: my thing about the gym because like I've been traveling
18:46
Speaker 1: and it's really hard. What I realized is it's really
18:49
Speaker 1: hard for me to work out when I'm traveling, Like, yeah,
18:51
Speaker 1: I'm exhausted. My routine is not the same. Like even
18:54
Speaker 1: though I can go to the gym here, I could
18:55
Speaker 1: have gone to the gym all week. I did go once,
18:58
Speaker 1: but I usually, like when I'm traveling, tip least go
19:00
Speaker 1: two to three times during the week, because I usually
19:02
Speaker 1: have four or five when I'm in my normal at
19:05
Speaker 1: home routine. Right, so I have to give myself some
19:08
Speaker 1: of a break. But I gave myself too much of
19:09
Speaker 1: a break. So I've only worked out like twice in
19:12
Speaker 1: the last week and a half, which is not good.
19:13
Speaker 1: But I do think that routine is very important and
19:19
Speaker 1: you just have to like not overwhelm yourself and just
19:23
Speaker 1: start with like two days a week, like I am
19:27
Speaker 1: going to two days a week go to the gym.
19:30
Speaker 1: Like even if I just go and walk on the treadmill,
19:33
Speaker 1: I'm I'm there and then add on like that. I
19:36
Speaker 1: find is the easiest way to break the not gym
19:39
Speaker 1: routine because I've gone through these these chapters as well,
19:43
Speaker 1: and it's really overwhelming. You want to like think you're
19:45
Speaker 1: gonna get back in shape overnight and think you're gonna
19:48
Speaker 1: snap out of this routine like loss overnight. I think
19:52
Speaker 1: that just start small, like just say, on Tuesdays and Thursdays,
19:56
Speaker 1: no matter what, I am going to work out in
19:58
Speaker 1: the morning, because you're absolutely right, by the time you
20:01
Speaker 1: get to the afternoon, your energy is zapped. You're too
20:04
Speaker 1: distracted thinking about all the other things that you have
20:06
Speaker 1: to do. Get it done in the morning. It's the
20:09
Speaker 1: best time to work out if you have it. If
20:12
Speaker 1: you can get it done in the morning, that is
20:14
Speaker 1: like my advice. If not, then get in the where
20:16
Speaker 1: you can fit in. But for you, I think that's
20:18
Speaker 1: the best time. You drop him off before you get
20:20
Speaker 1: to anything else with work, go to the gym and
20:23
Speaker 1: then like some days you're not gonna want to feel
20:25
Speaker 1: like lifting weights, just do some cardio, but just go
20:28
Speaker 1: to the gym.
20:29
Speaker 3: You gotta car need to just book a lagree class
20:32
Speaker 3: because I don't want to be charged.
20:34
Speaker 1: Yeah, like that is another hack that is a hack
20:36
Speaker 1: that I really like because I am not paying forty
20:39
Speaker 1: dollars to not go to a class. So if you
20:42
Speaker 1: book a class, you're not gonna miss it because you're
20:45
Speaker 1: not gonna spend that money to not not go to
20:47
Speaker 1: that class. So yeah, maybe do like a class a
20:49
Speaker 1: week and then do the gym on the other time.
20:52
Speaker 1: But definitely you have to like break the routine because
20:55
Speaker 1: if you just keep thinking about it, you're never gonna go.
20:57
Speaker 1: So just be like next week, Tuesday, Thursday, Say just
21:00
Speaker 1: start two days a week and then like you know,
21:02
Speaker 1: later in the week you might feel like adding another one,
21:04
Speaker 1: but at least you did two days a week and
21:07
Speaker 1: that will start getting you like back in the routine. Also,
21:10
Speaker 1: walk with Aiden, like walking.
21:12
Speaker 3: Like like he he loves the kids, ship like it's
21:16
Speaker 3: this is how you know it's been so long. We
21:18
Speaker 3: drive past the gym and he's like, Mommy, remember that place?
21:21
Speaker 1: I do? I know, I remember that place. Kids will
21:29
Speaker 1: drag you.
21:31
Speaker 2: It's so he told me the other day, might be
21:33
Speaker 2: wearing my hair curly. It's summer.
21:35
Speaker 3: He goes into his room, gets a polaroid picture where
21:38
Speaker 3: I had like a you know, pressed sew in. He goes,
21:42
Speaker 3: this hair is so beautiful.
21:43
Speaker 2: You see this. He goes, that's not beautiful. I said,
21:50
Speaker 2: you don't. You don't like my mommy's hair is curly.
21:53
Speaker 2: It's not beautiful.
21:54
Speaker 1: Oh no, we have to fix that. He's gonna curly girls.
21:57
Speaker 1: Absolutely not.
22:00
Speaker 2: M crazy.
22:03
Speaker 1: He's hanging around the mrich kids too much.
22:05
Speaker 2: I'm like, listen, this is my natural hair.
22:08
Speaker 1: You gotta.
22:10
Speaker 2: What are you talking about.
22:11
Speaker 1: Yeah, he's going to have to embrace that. We can't
22:13
Speaker 1: have him. He's going to be straight in his hair.
22:17
Speaker 1: Oh my god. Okay, wait, so we have to get
22:19
Speaker 1: to too personal. I haven't here. Let me see. By
22:25
Speaker 1: the way, you're doing great. So don't be too hard
22:27
Speaker 1: on yourself about the gym. But I do think like
22:29
Speaker 1: the I've gone through it too, and I know how
22:31
Speaker 1: it feels. The best thing is to just like start
22:33
Speaker 1: with two days a week and then build up. But
22:35
Speaker 1: just keep your routine and keep it like, this is
22:38
Speaker 1: your time. You've dropped him off at school. This is
22:40
Speaker 1: your time before you get to work, before you get
22:42
Speaker 1: to any kind of other emergency that because they're just
22:44
Speaker 1: going to keep coming, and you know they do. Right,
22:47
Speaker 1: just go to the gym.
22:48
Speaker 2: That's the other thing. I need to not be in
22:50
Speaker 2: my inbox at the gym.
22:51
Speaker 1: Nope, just one hour. It'll go by fast and all
22:56
Speaker 1: those problems will still be there, so don't worry. Okay,
23:01
Speaker 1: time for Never Too Personal. If you want to be
23:03
Speaker 1: a part of the show Too Personal podcasts at gmail
23:05
Speaker 1: dot com, or you can dm us at two Personal Show.
23:09
Speaker 1: So this one is my spouse wants to combine all
23:11
Speaker 1: of our finances. I want separate accounts plus one joint account.
23:15
Speaker 1: They say keeping money separate means I don't fully trust them.
23:19
Speaker 1: So I have dealt with this multiple times in relationships,
23:24
Speaker 1: in serious relationships only. I think that money conversations are
23:32
Speaker 1: vitally important to successful relationships, like they are maybe the
23:36
Speaker 1: most important you. Everyone has their opinions about money. Everyone
23:41
Speaker 1: has ways that they handle money. Everyone has a different
23:44
Speaker 1: level of respect for money. Everyone has different goals for
23:48
Speaker 1: their money, has different experiences growing up, so they have
23:52
Speaker 1: different anxieties about money. It's very rare that you have
23:55
Speaker 1: two people that just like have the same attitude about money,
23:59
Speaker 1: and that's okay, but you do have to have very
24:01
Speaker 1: transparent conversations about what you want for money, what they
24:05
Speaker 1: want for money, how you guys as a couple are
24:07
Speaker 1: going to handle money, because so many problems and relationships
24:12
Speaker 1: stem from this when it gets to like the serious
24:15
Speaker 1: parts of relationships. But also, you know, we talk about
24:17
Speaker 1: this all the time in dating as well, like do
24:19
Speaker 1: we split the bill? Like who pays for the uber?
24:22
Speaker 1: Like money is just you know, it's a it's a
24:25
Speaker 1: part of our everyday lives. It is something that is serious,
24:29
Speaker 1: and the expectations that you have for money need to
24:32
Speaker 1: align with the person that you're dating, or the person
24:34
Speaker 1: that you're marrying, or the person that you're having kids with.
24:37
Speaker 1: So I have made the mistake of not having transparent
24:40
Speaker 1: money conversations in the past. I would not do that
24:42
Speaker 1: again if I was to be in a partnership, not
24:45
Speaker 1: just dating, although I do think you have to have
24:48
Speaker 1: some conversations about that, like who's going to pay for
24:50
Speaker 1: the vacation and who's paying for this? But you know, generally,
24:54
Speaker 1: when you get into a serious relationship, you do need
24:56
Speaker 1: to have this conversation. And it's uncomfortable and it can
24:58
Speaker 1: be vulnerable and kind of embarrassing, you know, like depending
25:02
Speaker 1: on what part of your journey you're on. But I
25:05
Speaker 1: do think it's very important to have the conversation. So
25:07
Speaker 1: that being said, I do think you should stand your
25:09
Speaker 1: ground if you want a separate account. Now if you
25:14
Speaker 1: were both like I want to keep it separate no
25:15
Speaker 1: matter what, that's a completely different conversation, especially if this
25:18
Speaker 1: is your husband. But having a joint account to pay bills,
25:23
Speaker 1: to pay for vacations, to save for retirement, like you
25:27
Speaker 1: guys discuss how much each of you put it in
25:30
Speaker 1: and decide like, Okay, you know, if I want to
25:32
Speaker 1: go buy something for myself, I spend it from my account.
25:35
Speaker 1: If you know you want to buy something for yourself,
25:38
Speaker 1: you go spend it from your account. And if we
25:40
Speaker 1: need to buy things for each other, something for the house,
25:42
Speaker 1: if we need to buy groceries, if we need to
25:44
Speaker 1: pay the rent or the mortgage or the car, like
25:47
Speaker 1: that comes from our joint account. I think that is
25:49
Speaker 1: actually the best and healthiest way to have a relationship
25:53
Speaker 1: one because the idea that all of your money can
25:56
Speaker 1: be vulnerable to someone's just going and taking it out
25:59
Speaker 1: or or spending it makes me very uncomfortable. And also like,
26:05
Speaker 1: look it is what it is. Relationships sometimes fall apart,
26:10
Speaker 1: and you need to be able to have access to
26:12
Speaker 1: your own money as an adult, like you just do
26:15
Speaker 1: woman or man. Like we talk so much about abusive relationships,
26:20
Speaker 1: Like financial abuse is a very real thing. It's common
26:23
Speaker 1: in almost every kind of abusive relationship. Not saying that
26:26
Speaker 1: this is one. But you need to have access to
26:29
Speaker 1: your own money, and you should have a safe place
26:31
Speaker 1: to put it, and you don't need to hide it
26:32
Speaker 1: under your mattress. Like having your own bank account as
26:36
Speaker 1: an adult is a very normal thing to do. Is
26:38
Speaker 1: you don't have to hide it from them, like you
26:41
Speaker 1: can be transparent about what's in there. But yeah, you
26:44
Speaker 1: should have access to your own money. It all points
26:47
Speaker 1: in your life, like from the time that you are
26:50
Speaker 1: a child and you are you know, having candy money,
26:53
Speaker 1: you get birthday money, Like you should teach people how
26:56
Speaker 1: to have a real relationship with money and when you
26:59
Speaker 1: are in a relationship. I think that you should have
27:01
Speaker 1: a joint account absolutely, but I also think you should
27:03
Speaker 1: have your own accounts. Like if you're gonna get a divorce,
27:06
Speaker 1: you're gonna have these money conversations anyway, but you should
27:08
Speaker 1: have access to your own money always. You never know
27:11
Speaker 1: what's going to happen. Emergencies happen. What if somebody has
27:14
Speaker 1: access to all the money you don't have access to it,
27:17
Speaker 1: and they get in an accident, right, What if you
27:22
Speaker 1: can't get a hold of them and your kid has
27:24
Speaker 1: an accident and you need access to money, you have
27:27
Speaker 1: to call and ask them. Like I, these are just
27:30
Speaker 1: very silly things to me, and I've had these conversations
27:33
Speaker 1: with girlfriends. I'm still had these conversations to this day
27:37
Speaker 1: with people in my life. So it's really really important
27:41
Speaker 1: to have transparent money conversations and get on the same
27:44
Speaker 1: page about those goals. But my personal way of handling
27:49
Speaker 1: it is you have your account, I have my account,
27:52
Speaker 1: and we have a joint account, and we have a
27:53
Speaker 1: transparent conversation about how much needs to be in the
27:55
Speaker 1: joint account. It doesn't mean that you can just spend
27:58
Speaker 1: all your.
27:58
Speaker 2: Money and people will do that.
28:02
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's not what that means. It just means that
28:03
Speaker 1: you should have access to your own money at all
28:06
Speaker 1: points at the time that you are an adult, Like
28:10
Speaker 1: I just I just believe that. And I don't think
28:12
Speaker 1: it's about trust. I think it's about being an adult.
28:15
Speaker 1: Like this whole notion that you get into a relationship
28:18
Speaker 1: where you get into a marriage and like you cease
28:20
Speaker 1: being a person, and like, yeah, you're a partnership. Sure,
28:24
Speaker 1: but we don't have to lose our minds with like
28:27
Speaker 1: practically applying that to everything. I can have a bank account,
28:32
Speaker 1: so if I want to go buy a Starbucks, I
28:34
Speaker 1: can do that. Okay, Like everyone take a beat. So
28:38
Speaker 1: that's my advice for this week. Thanks so much for
28:40
Speaker 1: being a part of the show. Make sure that you
28:42
Speaker 1: email us to Personal Podcasts at gmail dot com. Make
28:45
Speaker 1: sure you hit subscribe, follow us on social at two
28:47
Speaker 1: Personal Show. Thanks to Haley for bringing Aiden in today,
28:57
Speaker 1: and thanks for hanging I will see you too nearly bye.
29:01
Speaker 1: I guess yeah okay. M