Latest / Limitless Living with Fredricka Davis / 019: Why You’re Working So Hard… But It Still Doesn’t Feel Like Success

Transcript

019: Why You’re Working So Hard… But It Still Doesn’t Feel Like Success · Limitless Living with Fredricka Davis

• 0:32
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_00: Let me ask you something honestly today.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_00: Have you ever noticed that even though you're doing a lot, you're handling a lot, you feel like you're getting all the things done, figuring things out, and growing.
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_00: Or maybe you don't quite feel like that, but you're doing all the things.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_00: And maybe you're even growing personally.
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe it's in your career or your family or your business is growing, but somehow it still isn't feeling the way you thought it would.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_00: Like on paper, things look fine, maybe even good or great, but internally not so much.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_00: You feel stretched, pulled in different directions, a little disconnected, maybe overwhelmed.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you're just tired.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_00: Not the kind of tired that a nap fixes, the kind where rest, even a good night's sleep, does not quite touch it the way that it used to.
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_00: Well, here's the part most women don't always say out loud.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_00: You might find yourself wondering this too.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_00: Why doesn't this feel better than it does?
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_00: Why don't I feel the joy, the satisfaction, the energy, the alignment in my life like I feel like I should at this stage?
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_00: If this is you, I want you to stay with me here because what I'm about to share is one of the biggest reasons this happens.
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_00: It has nothing to do with your capability or what you've accomplished so far, and nothing to do with whether you're doing enough.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_00: I actually remember there for a while in my life from the outside, things were looking like they were moving forward.
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_00: To all people who know me, would look like everything was going very well.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_00: Clients were coming in, super busy, work was happening, business was growing, responsibilities were being handled.
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_00: I was raising my daughter, and she was crazy, brilliant, smart, and doing well in life, and everything, you know, that should actually have made me feel stable and even proud was technically in place.
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_00: But somewhere internally, it still felt really heavy.
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_00: I was constantly thinking, what needed to be done next?
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_00: What had I not yet done?
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_00: What I needed to improve, what I needed to fix.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_00: And honestly, I just kept telling myself: if I get a little more organized, if I tighten up these systems, if I have this many on my staff, if I push through this part, if I make this amount, if this, if that, you get the picture, then I'll feel better.
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_00: But I didn't.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_00: I got better at carrying more.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_00: And I see this pattern, oh my gosh, so much all the time, in women who are incredibly, incredibly capable, incredibly responsible, and doing everything they've been taught should work.
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_00: That's what I want to talk about today.
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_00: Here, here's what I see over and over again.
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_00: You have likely learned how to achieve.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_00: Even if you haven't reached every goal yet, you're likely in motion, you're building, you're trying, you're doing your best, you're showing up.
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_00: But no one ever taught you how to build success in a way that actually feels sustainable and aligned, aligned for you, you as an individual.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_00: So what happens?
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_00: You create these results.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe it's a full schedule, maybe it's money coming in, maybe it's that things are growing.
• 5:03
  SPEAKER_00: You know, it's just happening and it's going forward, but it's at the cost of your energy, it's at the cost of your time, it's at the cost of your peace, your presence, and sometimes even your relationships.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_00: So naturally, we try to fix it.
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_00: Naturally, your first instinct is going to be to fix it.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_00: And how do we as high capacity women typically want to do that?
• 5:36
  SPEAKER_00: We do more, we organize better, we push harder, we try to be more disciplined, we implement more, we add something in.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_00: We just do more.
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_00: But it becomes painfully obvious that this is not the solution.
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_00: Here's the real problem.
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_00: You are trying to create next level success from a structure that was likely built in survival mode.
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_00: That will only take you so far.
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_00: So, what I'm going to walk through today are three patterns that I see all the time in women who are high functioning, but still not feeling fulfilled.
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_00: And I want I want you to just notice which one hits for you.
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_00: Number one, the get more trap.
• 6:39
  SPEAKER_00: This is where success feels like I just need to get a little further, and then I will feel better.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_00: More income, more stability, more clarity, more time, more control, more growth, you name it.
• 6:59
  SPEAKER_00: You keep trying, you keep reaching for the next thing, thinking that that is what will finally create the feeling inside of you that you want.
• 7:10
  SPEAKER_00: But the target keeps moving.
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_00: So you stay in this loop, achieve, adjust, push, repeat, achieve, adjust, push, repeat.
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_00: And you never actually land.
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_00: So here's a shift.
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_00: Instead of asking, what do I need to get next?
• 7:31
  SPEAKER_00: What do I need to do next?
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_00: What do I need to add in?
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_00: These are all the questions.
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_00: Instead of asking those questions, I want you to start asking what kind of a life am I building this success inside of?
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_00: Because if that structure is off, more success will not fix it.
• 7:57
  SPEAKER_00: It simply doesn't fix it.
• 7:59
  SPEAKER_00: It amplifies the pressure.
• 8:03
  SPEAKER_00: So number two, this is fear of losing what you've built.
• 8:09
  SPEAKER_00: This one is quieter, but it really runs very deep.
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_00: Part of you wants more.
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you we want something even different.
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe something better aligned.
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you're trying to reinvent.
• 8:27
  SPEAKER_00: But another part of you is still thinking: if I slow down, will everything fall apart?
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_00: If I change this, will I lose?
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_00: What I worked so hard to build?
• 8:40
  SPEAKER_00: If I step back, will it look like I'm failing?
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_00: You stay on the gas.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_00: And even when you're tired, even when it's not working the way it used to, because stopping or even adjusting simply feels too risky to you.
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_00: This is fear.
• 9:01
  SPEAKER_00: So here's the shift.
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_00: I want you to ask yourself, what am I afraid will happen if I stop doing this the hard way?
• 9:11
  SPEAKER_00: Because often, what you're protecting is also the very thing that is exhausting you.
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_00: So, number three, the eye should be able to handle this pattern.
• 9:24
  SPEAKER_00: So, this is an identity piece to this.
• 9:29
  SPEAKER_00: You're likely the one who handles things and figures it out.
• 9:33
  SPEAKER_00: You don't drop the balls, you don't need much, you just keep going, right?
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_00: So even when something isn't working, you don't give yourself enough time or pause to step back and redesign.
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_00: So you don't step back, you don't redesign, you just keep carrying more, adding more, and pushing forward.
• 9:58
  SPEAKER_00: Because it's who you've been.
• 10:01
  SPEAKER_00: But over time, success starts to feel heavy, really heavy, in this situation.
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_00: Not because you can't handle it, mind you, but because you were never meant to carry it that way.
• 10:16
  SPEAKER_00: So here is the shift here.
• 10:18
  SPEAKER_00: Instead of asking yourself, how do I keep up with all of this?
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_00: How do I do more?
• 10:23
  SPEAKER_00: How do I manage this better?
• 10:25
  SPEAKER_00: I want you to start asking yourself, what actually needs to change here so this works for me.
• 10:37
  SPEAKER_00: That's where the real success begins.
• 10:40
  SPEAKER_00: So here's what I want you to do with this.
• 10:43
  SPEAKER_00: Not everything, just one thing.
• 10:46
  SPEAKER_00: Pick the pattern that hit you the hardest as I was going through those three patterns.
• 10:52
  SPEAKER_00: And for the next 48 hours, I want you to interrupt it.
• 10:58
  SPEAKER_00: If it's the get more trap, then I want you to pause and ask yourself, is this actually moving me toward the life I want?
• 11:09
  SPEAKER_00: Or is it just creating more pressure?
• 11:13
  SPEAKER_00: If it's the fear of a loss pattern, then I want you to ask yourself, what am I maintaining that might not actually be serving me any more?
• 11:32
  SPEAKER_00: And if it's the I should be able to handle this pattern, I want you to ask yourself, what would this look like if it were easier?
• 11:44
  SPEAKER_00: Now, that question alone can start shifting everything for you.
• 11:49
  SPEAKER_00: Because here is the truth: success is not the problem.
• 11:55
  SPEAKER_00: The way we've been taught as women especially to carry it, that is.
• 12:02
  SPEAKER_00: And if nothing changes, then you'll keep building a life with more, more, more, more, and more that looks successful, but does not feel like it.
• 12:13
  SPEAKER_00: And this is not what you actually want.
• 12:16
  SPEAKER_00: I know it's not what I want, and I had to learn this.
• 12:20
  SPEAKER_00: You want success that feels grounded.
• 12:23
  SPEAKER_00: You want success that feels aligned and spacious with some freedom inside of it, and above all, sustainable.
• 12:35
  SPEAKER_00: That is something you can build, I promise you.
• 12:40
  SPEAKER_00: Simple, small, strategic shifts done consistently, that's what builds it.
• 12:47
  SPEAKER_00: It's not by doing more of the same.
• 12:51
  SPEAKER_00: It starts with awareness, it starts with one shift, and then we continue from there.
• 12:57
  SPEAKER_00: So we're gonna build on this.