Latest / The Mental Healness Podcast / One thing Narcissists dont want you to know...THEY NEED YOU
Transcript
- 0:00What is going on, Beautiful people.
- 0:02Today we're going to be talking about the fact that narcissists
- 0:06need you. They need other people.
- 0:10If you're new here, my name is Lee Hammock.
- 0:11I'm a clinically diagnosed narcissist and welcome to
- 0:13another episode of The Narcissist Code.
- 0:32Boom. Welcome back, welcome back,
- 0:34welcome back, folks. Yes, yes, yes.
- 0:36A lot of people don't realize that that statement I said at
- 0:40the at the beginning is absolutely, 100% true that
- 0:44narcissists need you believe. Why did they discard us so much?
- 0:48Why did they do this? Why did they do that?
- 0:50You got to listen to me. Believe me.
- 0:53Trust me, they need you more than you need them.
- 1:00It's crazy how that works in the in the the mind of a narcissist.
- 1:03Y'all? Because they want to be and, and
- 1:06it's crazy. The need, the reason narcissists
- 1:09need you is because they want to be needed.
- 1:12They need you for narcissistic supply.
- 1:15They need you for validation. They need you to need them.
- 1:22Which I know sounds like it doesn't make any sense, but bear
- 1:25with me here because it absolutely does.
- 1:27Narcissists want to be needed by you.
- 1:31And because, like, that's that's what happens all.
- 1:34Yeah, this happens. So they ain't gone much in these
- 1:38relationship dynamics in these spaces with toxic narcissistic
- 1:42people where they treat you like garbage, they treat you like
- 1:45dirt, but they want you to need them.
- 1:49When you don't need them, that's when they start to lose their
- 1:51damn minds. You know when you are
- 1:55self-sufficient when the when you meet a narcissist.
- 1:57This is the story I hear in my support groups.
- 2:00This is the story I hear when I'm doing my one on ones like I
- 2:03was at they they say Lee, I did not need this person.
- 2:06When I met this person, I was the at the top of my game.
- 2:10I was the most I was more successful than I had ever been
- 2:13before. I had a better life, more money,
- 2:16more friends. I was outgoing, I was fun.
- 2:19I had my my life was together. I did not need anyone and then I
- 2:24met this person and now I feel like I don't.
- 2:26Now I feel like I don't recognize myself anymore.
- 2:28Now I need them to validate me. I need to be validated by them.
- 2:33I started off the relationship not needing anyone, but now I
- 2:38feel like I need them because that's the goal of a lot of
- 2:42narcissists. It's not a it's not an insidious
- 2:45plan from the beginning. It's this subconscious thing
- 2:49that inside a narcissist mind that wants so badly to be needed
- 2:53by you. So if you don't need me, I'm
- 2:56going to create a need for you. I need you to need me.
- 3:00So if you don't need me, I'm going to create a need for me in
- 3:05your life so that I can feel secure in my own life, so I can
- 3:09feel secure in my space. I need you to need me.
- 3:14So if you don't need me monetarily, if you don't need
- 3:16my, if you don't need me financially, if you don't need
- 3:19me like you, rich and famous, you got everything going for
- 3:21you. I am going to take away yourself
- 3:24esteem. I'm going to make you because
- 3:27everybody else wants you. You're a beautiful person,
- 3:30you're attractive person. You attract everybody, right?
- 3:33So I want you to need me. I'm going to make you need me
- 3:37another way because I'm going to be the one person that acts like
- 3:41I don't want you when I get you. I'm going to act like I don't
- 3:45want you because now you're going to need me to explain why
- 3:48I treat you the way that I treat you.
- 3:50Everybody else will be bowing at your feet, be begging you for a
- 3:54chance, right? But not me.
- 3:56You're begging me to validate you.
- 3:58You're calling me, you blowing my phone up.
- 4:01I need you to need me. It's just like it's, it's, it's,
- 4:05it's an insatiable thirst for need.
- 4:10I need you to need me. I need you.
- 4:14They need you. That's what they they need to
- 4:16plot. Very rarely do you see a
- 4:19narcissist being alone by themselves and just being happy
- 4:23and content, right? Very rarely do you see that do
- 4:26you right? Right.
- 4:28Narcissist. If if narcissist with most
- 4:30narcissists were happy being alone and by themselves and not
- 4:34in relationships, the phrase the term narcissistic abuse wouldn't
- 4:38exist. So they need others, but that's
- 4:41the damn near this damn near the greatest trick of narcissists to
- 4:45to make it seem like you need them.
- 4:48It's crazy how that works, isn't it?
- 4:50Think about it. It's crazy that the fact that
- 4:53they need you, you don't hear it like I I, me personally.
- 4:57I could be wrong here, but I don't think I've ever heard the
- 4:59term empathetic supply. Empath supply.
- 5:03You mean codependence supply? I haven't heard that term
- 5:07before. You know, I've heard
- 5:09narcissistic supply, but I haven't heard those other terms.
- 5:13Narcissistic supply includes the need for admiration, the
- 5:19constant need for validation, the constant need of it.
- 5:24They need you. You have the power.
- 5:28That's why I'm doing this video to show you that you have the
- 5:30power. You do, they want you to need
- 5:34them. They need you so they can get
- 5:36that narcissistic supply and whatever, whenever they feel
- 5:39like they drained you of the supply, whatever they feel like
- 5:42they you, your use has run out in their life, That's when they
- 5:45discard you. That's when they get rid of you.
- 5:47That's when they break you down and try to hurt you and try to
- 5:49harm you in so many different ways.
- 5:50That's when they do that right there.
- 5:53That's when when they feel like the supply that they get from
- 5:56you has run out or doesn't feel the same anymore.
- 6:00That's when they get rid of your ass.
- 6:02They need you and when they don't need you anymore, they
- 6:06find somebody else that they need, right?
- 6:08Y'all see this happening all the time.
- 6:10They find someone else that they need because they need that
- 6:14narcissistic supply, right? Y'all understand, You should
- 6:17understand exactly what I'm saying.
- 6:19They need that narcissistic supply.
- 6:21So that's what I'm just telling you.
- 6:22If you're dealing with a narcissist or a toxic person,
- 6:25this is part of it right here, y'all.
- 6:26This is going to be part of the journey.
- 6:28This is going to be part of the struggle trying to deal with
- 6:30this person because they're going to mess.
- 6:32Look, they're going to get so deeply embedded in your mind,
- 6:35into your psyche that is going to mess with you.
- 6:39You were like, God damn, Lee, What, what can I do?
- 6:41Like this person is destroying me.
- 6:43Like I, I, I, I I want to heal. I want to grow.
- 6:46I want to do this. I want to do that right?
- 6:49They're going to make you feel like you need them so much.
- 6:51You're going to be going crazy. You, you, you damn, they're
- 6:55going to become unrecognizable to your friends and family.
- 6:59They're like, damn, I don't, I don't, I feel like I don't know
- 7:01you anymore. You've changed so much because
- 7:03now you went from not needing anyone, being happy, being by
- 7:06yourself, being content, being by yourself to needing
- 7:10validation from this person. They put look, this crazy right
- 7:13here. They this is going to be I just
- 7:15thought about this. They project their need of you
- 7:19onto you and they make you feel like you need them.
- 7:22It's projection to to a different to a different extreme
- 7:25right there. It's projection to an entirely
- 7:28different extreme. They need you to need them
- 7:31because it makes them feel better about themselves.
- 7:33Like imagine like getting chased by, imagine getting chased by
- 7:38the person that just that's getting chased by everyone else.
- 7:41Yeah, that's so damn empowering to a narcissistic person.
- 7:44Like you're everybody else wants you, but you are chasing me.
- 7:49You need me. That empowers them so damn much.
- 7:52Y'all. I'm not.
- 7:53This is not me trying to make y'all feel bad about yourself
- 7:55like Lee. It hurt myself.
- 7:57No, that's not the good. That's not the goal here.
- 8:00The goal is to show you that they need you.
- 8:02We need you. I'm a narcissist.
- 8:04The person I did disorder. We need you.
- 8:07You are commodity. You are high value.
- 8:11You are precious material. You know you are natural.
- 8:16That you. Yeah.
- 8:16You just like oil and gas. You are natural resource.
- 8:22Just like oil and gas. You're a damn natural resource.
- 8:26They need you. So stop pretending like they are
- 8:30the fucking prizes when you actually are.
- 8:34They need you. You don't need them.
- 8:38You really don't. It's always I have to
- 8:41breakthrough to you. I know you were expecting me to
- 8:43cuss, right? That's why I did it.
- 8:45Broke you. Oh, whoa, Lee.
- 8:47They caught me off guard. Yeah, because I need to
- 8:50breakthrough to you to communicate to that point that
- 8:54you are the prize. You don't need them.
- 8:58Male, female, whatever. You, whoever you identify as.
- 9:02Is it whatever or whoever you know, I think it's who whatever.
- 9:07Now I'm trying to be disrespectful.
- 9:09I'm trying to be. I'm trying to be all exclusive,
- 9:11y'all. But that's how it works.
- 9:15You are the person that is needed.
- 9:18They need you, but they want to convince you that you need them.
- 9:21What was they? What was they saying?
- 9:23The greatest trick the devil ever did was convince the world
- 9:26that he, oh, that's what it was. The greatest trick that the,
- 9:28that, that, what's that? The famous saying, the famous
- 9:31phrase, whatever. The greatest trick that the
- 9:33devil ever did was convince the world that he didn't exist.
- 9:37Is that what it was? I think that's what it was like.
- 9:41That's the greatest trick that narcissists did do convince you
- 9:44that you need them and not the other way around.
- 9:47That's why they won't, they won't leave you alone.
- 9:49Like if it even if they find somebody else, even if they,
- 9:51even if they get a new supply right, they still won't leave
- 9:55you alone. They still pop up on you.
- 9:58They still bother you. Even if they get married and
- 10:00have kids with someone else, they're still messing with you.
- 10:03Why? Why?
- 10:05Because they still need they, they, they need people.
- 10:08They need a backup plan. They need you.
- 10:14They need other people. They can't do it by themselves.
- 10:17They need the validation. They need the narcissistic
- 10:20supply. You don't need them.
- 10:23They convince you that you do. They.
- 10:25They try to stoke. They try to stoke this fear that
- 10:28nobody else is going to want you.
- 10:29You need me. You got kids.
- 10:31Nobody else is going to want you.
- 10:32You broke. Nobody else is going to want
- 10:33you. You're overweight.
- 10:34Nobody else is going to want you.
- 10:36You're too short, You're too fat.
- 10:37You're too ugly. Nobody else is going to want
- 10:39you. You're lucky I do.
- 10:40I'm your best option you have. They want you to convince you
- 10:44that you need it when it's the other way around.
- 10:47They need you, so I need y'all to get it through your heads
- 10:53right now. Why?
- 10:53If you made it through this video, maybe like I need you to
- 10:56put like a a flame put a flame in the comment section to let me
- 10:59know you made it this far, but I need you to understand that they
- 11:02need you. They I had to bring the heat.
- 11:07That's why I put the flame. I'm I'm right here getting hot
- 11:09in the house. You know what I mean?
- 11:10But I need y'all to understand that the simple fact that they
- 11:13need you, not the other way around.
- 11:15You are the you. You are the standard barrier.
- 11:17You are the powerful person. You are the you are the supply.
- 11:21You say you, you the natural gas, you're the oil, you're the
- 11:25precious material. You're a diamond, you're a gym.
- 11:29They need you, you know. So empower yourself.
- 11:34You are the person that is needed, but I can say that all I
- 11:38want to, but you have to understand that and feel it for
- 11:41yourself. That's something that you have
- 11:43to understand. That's something that you have
- 11:45to deal with. That's something that you can
- 11:47feel. Y'all, I hope this empowers
- 11:52y'all. I hope this did because they
- 11:53need you without you, they wither up.
- 11:56You know, it's just like if you don't, if you don't water a
- 11:59house plant, like if you like, don't like, you are the plants,
- 12:03they are the weeds. They need you.
- 12:05They're taking your resources, right?
- 12:07You are a thriving plant outside, right?
- 12:11This plant over here in the corner my wife just got I'm
- 12:15going to show us see y'all this what do you call it?
- 12:18Monstera. It's a monstera, Monty Rosa,
- 12:21right? That's what it's delicioso.
- 12:23That's what it's got Monstera delicioso, right.
- 12:26Like if I were to plant that outside, I don't know.
- 12:30I don't even know you could plant that outside.
- 12:31It's a rare plant or what? Apparently, right?
- 12:34But if I were to plant that outside, weeds would take over
- 12:39that plant, right? So a rare, beautiful plant, if I
- 12:42were to plant that outside, the weeds would suck the nutrients
- 12:46out of that flower right there. But just remember that they need
- 12:49you anyways. Y'all make sure you subscribe to
- 12:53the channel as always. Hey Splooka, Hey, you say?
- 12:58Hey, I'm saying say say mental illness is out, say peace, say
- 13:08peace our job. Peace.
- 13:12Thank you so much for making it to the end of my video.
- 13:14I am extremely grateful for you have no idea.
- 13:17If you haven't already, make sure you go ahead and subscribe
- 13:19to the channel helps reach more people and click on the screen
- 13:21to watch another video or to browse through another playlist.
- 13:24There's also a link on the screen to check out my courses
- 13:26and my support groups to help you heal and understand what
- 13:29you've been through. Thank you so much again.
- 13:30I will see you in the next video.
- 13:32Peace.