Latest / The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast / Almost Famous In Depth: Dean Unglert

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Almost Famous In Depth: Dean Unglert · The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: This is Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous in Depth. Yeah,
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: do you feel like it sits it down very sixty minutes?
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: Um in Depth has been one of our favorite projects
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: that we've ever done. Uh almost Famous podcasts. It's actually
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: I was talking about it the other day. It's probably
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: my favorite project I've ever done since The Bachelor. Um.
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: Here's the reason why we get to sit for as
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: long as we want, as long as we need with
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: people from the Bachelor, Bachelor at talking about their life,
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: what they've been through, who they are becoming, who they are,
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: what's made them who they are, any stances they take
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: on life. We just like to dig deep and then
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: you the listener, get to know them better. Well. A
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: few weeks ago, we started a poll and it's it's
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: ironic in a sense, And I want to tell you why.
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: We started a poll that said, who would you like
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: to hear from an all of Bachelor Nation and we'll
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: bring them into studio and we'll do it in depth
• 0:56
  Speaker 1: with them. Well, you would expect, probably from that pool
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: that's the most popular, the person from Bachelor Nation would
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: be chosen. Well, the ironic piece of all this is
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: the person that was chosen does not believe that he
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: is the most popular person. He probably never has believed
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: he is the most popular person. He actually um. I think,
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: as we talked to today, will be will make fun
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: at some point of the fact that he was chosen.
• 1:19
  Speaker 1: He'll he'll he'll make some comment that diminishes it. But
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: the truth is this Dean Anglet was chosen in a landslide,
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: and I think there's a reason why it's one because, yes,
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: Dean is charming, but charm can't be deceitful. What Dean
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: is is he's deep, He's real, um, he cares, um.
• 1:38
  Speaker 1: He he doesn't uh just walk past real situations, he
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: walks into them. And he's had his ups and downs,
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: as we'll talk about in the podcast today. But but
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: you get to know Dean because you spend time with Dean,
• 1:51
  Speaker 1: and I think there's a relatability to Dean that has
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: not only made America go this guy's got something more
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: and I like it. But it also doesn't hurt that
• 1:59
  Speaker 1: he's absolutely beautiful, but he's so much more. Dean. Thanks
• 2:04
  Speaker 1: for coming in, Hey, thanks for having me. Thanks for
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: that last little cherry on top. You know, it's always
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: great when somebody gives you a really good compliment that like,
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: and I think you would appreciate being called real? And
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: then how like much does it make you cringe when
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: somebody's like, and you're beautiful? Honestly, that was my favorite
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: part about the whole because it's like, oh, he's dp
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: walks into the situations and I'm just like, I'm a
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: little uncomfortable. But then you sprinkle on that he's good looking.
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: I'm like, Okay, this is all a joke, and now
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: I understand. Now I know it's true. Um, Dean, how
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: do we meet? You? And I met for the very
• 2:42
  Speaker 1: first time. Actually, we we could have met at a
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: wine store in Low Highlands in Denver. I think I
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: told you the story. I was with my best friend
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: and his girlfriend. We walked in to buy some wine
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: to watch some I don't remember football, Navy or something
• 2:54
  Speaker 1: like that. But my season Bachelor hadn't aired. In fact,
• 2:57
  Speaker 1: I had just finished filming and I was in Colorado.
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: I didn't even see you, but my friend's girlfriend was like,
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: oh my god, that was Been Higgins. I just walked
• 3:04
  Speaker 1: by and I was like, I should have said hi,
• 3:05
  Speaker 1: but we didn't get a chance to. I don't remember
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: how we met for the very first time, though, I
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: think one of the very first times, and this is
• 3:11
  Speaker 1: funny is I was sitting at breakfast on a date. Yeah.
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: Well no, we had known each other at that point though,
• 3:17
  Speaker 1: because I remember I stopped and I was like, oh, hey, Ben, Yeah,
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: well that's funny that you say it like that. I
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: actually said Dean, and you kind of like kept walking like, oh,
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: what's up, dude, Oh yeah, you're right, yeah, and it's
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: kind of kept going. Okay in my defense, Okay, so
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: Ben was on a date at breakfast and I was
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: like randomly walking with a couple of friends and I
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: hear my name called and this is like fresh off
• 3:39
  Speaker 1: the show, so like you kind of get that a lot,
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: you know, And I look over and I see this
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: tall dude, like you were kind of like standing in
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: the shadows a little bit, and you were wearing wearing
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: like a flat build hat forwards and like low on
• 3:49
  Speaker 1: your head, which I had never really seen you wear
• 3:50
  Speaker 1: anything like that before, and like maybe your facial hair
• 3:53
  Speaker 1: was a little different, and I just didn't know who
• 3:56
  Speaker 1: you were for the first like thirty seconds of talking
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: to you. It's fine, we're fine, But what's happened with
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: Dean and I is Dean and I and I'd like
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: to say this, Please tell me if I'm wrong. We
• 4:05
  Speaker 1: met and we became friends pretty quickly, and we got
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: a real friendship like one that uh is not We
• 4:11
  Speaker 1: don't do any events together really remind me. I think
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: the first time we met was in Tahoe when we
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: were doing podcast it might be, and we got to
• 4:20
  Speaker 1: spend time together. We got to talk about life and
• 4:22
  Speaker 1: what I what in tregues me about you is that
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: you're not afraid to talk about some of the like
• 4:27
  Speaker 1: the depths of life. You don't you don't run away
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: when somebody wants to bring up something that's that's heavy. Yeah,
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: I think sometimes I struggle to feel the empathy that
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: you're able to possess. But I think that, Uh, something
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: I've learned as of lately over the past two or
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: three years or so is leaning into those difficult conversations
• 4:42
  Speaker 1: can be fun and and growth oriented. You know what
• 4:46
  Speaker 1: I mean? Uh, something that didn't really know for a
• 4:50
  Speaker 1: very long time. But yeah, I agree, I think it's
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: fun to have those conversations. You learn a lot about yourself,
• 4:53
  Speaker 1: you gotta learn a lot a lot about other people.
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: So I'm a little envious you gotta do this, uh
• 4:57
  Speaker 1: in depth on this show with Ashley be because I'm like, oh,
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: it sounds like a fun thing to want to be
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: able to get this. This is a blast. It makes
• 5:04
  Speaker 1: this feel like it's real, Like this is there's no
• 5:06
  Speaker 1: agenda this, I have no notes on where to go
• 5:09
  Speaker 1: with this. It's it's wherever we want to take it.
• 5:11
  Speaker 1: Is it hard for I wonder if this will be
• 5:13
  Speaker 1: difficult for you because you basically know me in and
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: out right, so you know what questions you want to ask.
• 5:17
  Speaker 1: But also it's not like there's no novelty to you
• 5:21
  Speaker 1: to like learn about me as we go on, because
• 5:22
  Speaker 1: you already know everything. No, that's not true. So here's
• 5:25
  Speaker 1: the thing I told as I was prepping for this.
• 5:27
  Speaker 1: I was talking to a buddy of mine saying, they
• 5:30
  Speaker 1: get to do this today, and I said, here's one
• 5:31
  Speaker 1: of the cool parts is how often you get to
• 5:32
  Speaker 1: sit down with your friend, no matter how will you
• 5:34
  Speaker 1: know them, and you get to ask them questions and
• 5:36
  Speaker 1: they can't run away from it and they can't turn
• 5:38
  Speaker 1: it back on you because you like to turn it
• 5:40
  Speaker 1: back on me as quick as you can. But I'm
• 5:42
  Speaker 1: hosting this like this is this is my plane to fly,
• 5:46
  Speaker 1: and you've got to stay on board. And so you're
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: gonna have to walk through this with me, and so
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: I think I'll get to know or hear things that
• 5:52
  Speaker 1: I've always wondered that it's never been appropriate to ask,
• 5:56
  Speaker 1: you know. But also bear in mind that the reason
• 5:59
  Speaker 1: that I able to open up to you so much
• 6:01
  Speaker 1: is because I'm able to direct the conversation in certain
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: ways and feel comfortable through misdirection like that. And so
• 6:07
  Speaker 1: I wonder if me not being able to deflect the
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: conversation back to you will shut me off at all.
• 6:12
  Speaker 1: We'll see, Yeah, we'll see. It's gonna be a fun ride.
• 6:15
  Speaker 1: Dean Angler in studio. Dean, let's dive in right away. Sure,
• 6:18
  Speaker 1: you just said something, UM that I think is is
• 6:23
  Speaker 1: how I'd want to start this. You said you're unable to,
• 6:26
  Speaker 1: um feel the empathy that that I would be in
• 6:30
  Speaker 1: deep conversations or painful conversation. Uh, take me out of
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: it for a second. Why do you immediately say that
• 6:37
  Speaker 1: about yourself? The uh that I lack empathy? Um, It's
• 6:42
  Speaker 1: something that I've kind of become more aware of as
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: time moves on and it's been kind of an im
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: uh an issue, not an issue, but like a hurdle
• 6:51
  Speaker 1: of sorts in past relationships. Remember this girlfriend in college
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: you was like, you like don't feel things, You never
• 6:57
  Speaker 1: feel any sort of way. And I remember I was
• 6:59
  Speaker 1: like watching something on Netflix and I texted her. I
• 7:01
  Speaker 1: was like, hey, I think I just cried. I watched
• 7:02
  Speaker 1: something on Netflix, Like are you proud of me? And
• 7:04
  Speaker 1: she goes, oh my gosh, things are changing. Um, I
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: don't know. I think that I just kind of grown
• 7:09
  Speaker 1: numb to that stuff. And it's like hard for me,
• 7:12
  Speaker 1: just like my viewpoint on life, Like you know that
• 7:14
  Speaker 1: UM foundationally or like our our root values are a
• 7:19
  Speaker 1: little different, similar but different, right, Like you get your
• 7:22
  Speaker 1: values from different places that I do, UM, And I
• 7:25
  Speaker 1: think part of where I've draw my values from, it's
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: like it's like a numbing thing like I draw like
• 7:34
  Speaker 1: I'm a nihilist, you know, Like I don't think that
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: life has any meaning, but I think that the beauty
• 7:37
  Speaker 1: and life not having meaning is that everything has value
• 7:40
  Speaker 1: in it. And so I think, like, you know, having
• 7:42
  Speaker 1: conversations with people and getting like to dive into who
• 7:44
  Speaker 1: they are and get to do this in depth, you know,
• 7:46
  Speaker 1: it's like, be nice to people because life is meaningless
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  Speaker 1: versus you is You're like be nice to people because
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: it's just like the right thing to do, and like
• 7:53
  Speaker 1: you have your like your faith and all that kind
• 7:55
  Speaker 1: of stuff, you know what I mean. So I think
• 7:57
  Speaker 1: the the uh product is the same, but the process
• 8:01
  Speaker 1: is a little bit different for us. And I think
• 8:04
  Speaker 1: that the process is different for me is because I
• 8:06
  Speaker 1: just like, I don't know, I've been through some stuff
• 8:08
  Speaker 1: with my mom obviously, with my friends and with my
• 8:11
  Speaker 1: family and all that, and I don't want to like
• 8:16
  Speaker 1: ever blame the way that I am because of any
• 8:18
  Speaker 1: of those things. But I think that has obviously like
• 8:21
  Speaker 1: a bit of a h it's like a bit of
• 8:25
  Speaker 1: reason for it. Right. I don't know your store was
• 8:28
  Speaker 1: I don't know if you would say accurately told during
• 8:31
  Speaker 1: your time on The Bachelor, right, but you you definitely
• 8:34
  Speaker 1: had a story that was told. Um, it wasn't inaccurately told.
• 8:38
  Speaker 1: I mean, obviously it's like you're not gonna have every
• 8:41
  Speaker 1: uh every little crevice and crack of your story shown, right, Like,
• 8:44
  Speaker 1: I'm sure when you were on the show, it's not
• 8:46
  Speaker 1: like it was Ben Higgins, it was a shadow or
• 8:48
  Speaker 1: a shell of yourself. But uh yeah, I mean they
• 8:53
  Speaker 1: covered like the main points, you know, my mom passing,
• 8:56
  Speaker 1: my family kind of falling apart, and that was basically it.
• 8:59
  Speaker 1: But tell me if I'm wrong, and I just as
• 9:03
  Speaker 1: I've got to know you better, I feel I mean,
• 9:05
  Speaker 1: watching those moments back and and seeing that now on
• 9:08
  Speaker 1: national and television, was it uncomfortable? Um? It was uncomfortable.
• 9:14
  Speaker 1: It was the first time I had ever like watched
• 9:16
  Speaker 1: myself back, right, So it's always gonna be uncomfortable. On
• 9:18
  Speaker 1: top of that, I was like I was drinking to
• 9:20
  Speaker 1: like cope with the discomfort, right, And so I didn't
• 9:24
  Speaker 1: while we were filming, right, So I didn't necessarily, like
• 9:27
  Speaker 1: I know exactly how I would come across having been
• 9:29
  Speaker 1: like a little buzz or something like that. Right, Like normally,
• 9:31
  Speaker 1: when you're when you're drinking in your buzz and you
• 9:33
  Speaker 1: go out to the bars and you like say something silly, like,
• 9:35
  Speaker 1: that's the only time that you have to deal with that, right,
• 9:37
  Speaker 1: But when you're doing on TV, you have to deal
• 9:38
  Speaker 1: with it a second time when you watch it back. Um,
• 9:40
  Speaker 1: So there was like a little bit of anxiety written
• 9:42
  Speaker 1: because I was like, Okay, like what, how is this
• 9:45
  Speaker 1: going to come across? Like how am I gonna look like?
• 9:47
  Speaker 1: Am I gonna be coherent? Or am I gonna like
• 9:50
  Speaker 1: say the right things like that kind of stuff. So
• 9:51
  Speaker 1: that was a little anxiety inducing. Um. What's funny is
• 9:55
  Speaker 1: the fourth time around on the TV show, when I
• 9:57
  Speaker 1: didn't drink at all I had, I felt no anxiety,
• 10:00
  Speaker 1: you know, stressed when you think that, because I was
• 10:01
  Speaker 1: like I was completely in control of everything I was
• 10:04
  Speaker 1: doing and saying. So it's like I have nothing to
• 10:06
  Speaker 1: be afraid of. You know, Yeah, I totally get that.
• 10:09
  Speaker 1: When I was the Bachelor, I barely drunk drink it all. Um.
• 10:12
  Speaker 1: Well yeah, but and also because I had so much
• 10:14
  Speaker 1: anxiety going into it, I couldn't just if I drank
• 10:17
  Speaker 1: to cover it up it and take a lot of drinks. Um,
• 10:20
  Speaker 1: And your schedule is exhausting, so you're like, you know
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: you're gonna bet at two am, waking up at seven am.
• 10:24
  Speaker 1: Probably it's like a constant hangover and it's not gonna
• 10:27
  Speaker 1: be fun. I I watched your season without knowing you, um,
• 10:33
  Speaker 1: and your your story during that time was it was
• 10:38
  Speaker 1: deeper than any other we've ever seen. I would like
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: to believe no way. I think the idea of you.
• 10:43
  Speaker 1: I think there was a moment when you laying on
• 10:44
  Speaker 1: the floor of your father's house with Rachel and everything
• 10:48
  Speaker 1: had kind of fallen out around you during that hometown
• 10:51
  Speaker 1: date and you were reminiscing on all the things that
• 10:54
  Speaker 1: have happened to lead you that point. I think there
• 10:56
  Speaker 1: was a moment there where maybe just because I liked
• 10:57
  Speaker 1: you already, there was a depth to that With that,
• 11:00
  Speaker 1: I felt an emotion that I don't feel watching this show,
• 11:04
  Speaker 1: like your life was was was being displayed in front
• 11:08
  Speaker 1: of you. Things were what happened during that day would
• 11:13
  Speaker 1: have ramixifications past the show. So I want to know
• 11:18
  Speaker 1: from you. I don't know how in the world you
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: end up on this show, but during the like, as
• 11:24
  Speaker 1: you watch it back, are you glad you did it? Um? Yeah,
• 11:28
  Speaker 1: I think that in hindsight, I'm super grateful that I
• 11:31
  Speaker 1: did it because not only what like, like have I
• 11:33
  Speaker 1: grown as an individual since the show the first show
• 11:36
  Speaker 1: that I went on, but also just like seeing myself,
• 11:40
  Speaker 1: Like I said, I'm not much of an EmPATH right, so,
• 11:42
  Speaker 1: like I don't feel things, but that first show that
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: I went on, when I cried for the first time
• 11:47
  Speaker 1: on camera. I was like looking back that night and
• 11:49
  Speaker 1: I was like, oh, man, I'm gonna be like such
• 11:51
  Speaker 1: a woos Like I shouldn't have cried. I'm so embarrassed. Um.
• 11:55
  Speaker 1: And then I remember one of the producers was like, man,
• 11:58
  Speaker 1: like people cry, Like as long as your story took
• 12:00
  Speaker 1: just one person, like you should consider it a success.
• 12:01
  Speaker 1: And I was like, yeah, that makes sense, that's sense,
• 12:03
  Speaker 1: I guess. But then watching it back, I was like
• 12:05
  Speaker 1: so worried my friends were gonna, like, you know, make
• 12:07
  Speaker 1: fun of me and like whatever as a guy crying
• 12:09
  Speaker 1: on TV. But even just that small little thing, like
• 12:12
  Speaker 1: I guess, provide a lot of growth for me to
• 12:13
  Speaker 1: be like, okay, like it's okay to feel things. It's
• 12:15
  Speaker 1: okay to like be vulnerable and to like be upset
• 12:18
  Speaker 1: and be sad and cry, which I never really felt before. Um.
• 12:21
  Speaker 1: And that's obviously something I'm still working on. It's not
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: like it's gonna happen overnight. UM. But that, in and
• 12:25
  Speaker 1: of itself, just that first episode where it was Rachel
• 12:28
  Speaker 1: and I in UMU, Hilton Head, South Carolina or North Carolina.
• 12:34
  Speaker 1: I don't remember exactly what Carolina was, but I remember
• 12:36
  Speaker 1: I cried on that date, I told about my mom, etcetera.
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: And uh yeah, I was like worried about it. But
• 12:42
  Speaker 1: then watching it back, like the outpouring of support from everyone,
• 12:44
  Speaker 1: even my friends who were reaching out to me. They
• 12:46
  Speaker 1: were like because even before that, like before I went
• 12:47
  Speaker 1: on the show, Like even some of my closest friends
• 12:49
  Speaker 1: didn't even know that I, you know, lost my mom
• 12:51
  Speaker 1: at a young age or whatever it was, and they
• 12:54
  Speaker 1: watched the show and they're like, holy calic. I didn't
• 12:55
  Speaker 1: know this, And it was just something that I had
• 12:57
  Speaker 1: never really wanted to share with anyone because I didn't
• 12:58
  Speaker 1: want to feel receive any sympathy or like preferential treatment
• 13:01
  Speaker 1: because they felt bad for me something like that. You know, so, um,
• 13:05
  Speaker 1: but wouldn't you here's the part that and this is
• 13:08
  Speaker 1: where I want to pause you. This is what I
• 13:09
  Speaker 1: don't get is wouldn't you want people to fully know you?
• 13:12
  Speaker 1: Like these are your friends that you're worried about if
• 13:13
  Speaker 1: they're gonna make fun of you because you cry, yet
• 13:16
  Speaker 1: they don't know you, And like getting to know you
• 13:19
  Speaker 1: as a friend is is honestly sometimes impossible personally or
• 13:25
  Speaker 1: just generally generally, I would say, and like if if
• 13:28
  Speaker 1: you're good friends, some of your closest friends don't know
• 13:30
  Speaker 1: that your mom had passed at a young age, something
• 13:33
  Speaker 1: that is a pivotal moment in your life for every reason,
• 13:38
  Speaker 1: I don't know, Just like as a twenty five year
• 13:40
  Speaker 1: old guy, you're you know, you're making new friends, you're
• 13:41
  Speaker 1: like going out. It's it's not really something that you
• 13:43
  Speaker 1: bring up in conversation, even like if you have an
• 13:46
  Speaker 1: opportunity to bring it up. It's just not something that
• 13:47
  Speaker 1: I ever really cared to be like, hey, by the way,
• 13:49
  Speaker 1: like you know this happened to me when I was
• 13:51
  Speaker 1: fifteen or A big part of it too, was I
• 13:53
  Speaker 1: didn't want anyth Like I said, I don't want to
• 13:55
  Speaker 1: receive sympathy or preferential treatment for it. I didn't want
• 13:57
  Speaker 1: anyone to I didn't want to be like liked, for
• 14:02
  Speaker 1: liked because of the things that had happened to me.
• 14:03
  Speaker 1: I wanted to be liked because of the person I
• 14:05
  Speaker 1: am now, not the things that had happened to me
• 14:06
  Speaker 1: in the past, I think. And I just never really
• 14:10
  Speaker 1: took it on myself to be like, yeah, like this
• 14:12
  Speaker 1: is my story, you know, And a lot of people too,
• 14:15
  Speaker 1: especially me, Like I don't feel like my story is
• 14:17
  Speaker 1: wholly unique. I don't think that my story is like
• 14:20
  Speaker 1: worth sharing. I like kind of like began to turn
• 14:23
  Speaker 1: around in that a little bit. Obviously, having a podcast
• 14:25
  Speaker 1: and meeting people like you, uh, it kind of like
• 14:28
  Speaker 1: makes you feel like every story is special in its
• 14:31
  Speaker 1: own way. Like, sure it's unique, um, but every story
• 14:34
  Speaker 1: is worth being heard as well. And that's like taking
• 14:37
  Speaker 1: some time to come around on. But even now, it's like, yeah,
• 14:40
  Speaker 1: I don't know, I don't it's hard. It's hard to say. Really,
• 14:43
  Speaker 1: I guess about why I didn't open up about that
• 14:46
  Speaker 1: part of my life, you know, and it was such
• 14:47
  Speaker 1: a long time ago, and it's like, obviously the between
• 14:50
  Speaker 1: fifteen and twenty five is when I went on the show.
• 14:53
  Speaker 1: Those ten years are like some of the most transformative
• 14:54
  Speaker 1: years of your life, and so I didn't even really
• 14:56
  Speaker 1: associate my current self with my past self when I
• 14:58
  Speaker 1: was fifteen. So it's just like there's no point really
• 15:00
  Speaker 1: diving into that side of it. I guess have you
• 15:03
  Speaker 1: at all resented, um? Because as I listen to you
• 15:07
  Speaker 1: talk here, said, you know, I get it. I get
• 15:09
  Speaker 1: that you when you're twenty five, you're going out, you know,
• 15:11
  Speaker 1: to the bar as you meeting new friends. It's not
• 15:13
  Speaker 1: on the topic that's going to come up. But now
• 15:14
  Speaker 1: that it's happened, people know that about you. Um, they
• 15:17
  Speaker 1: know that at a young age your mother had passed
• 15:21
  Speaker 1: that you're all are you? Are you all resentful that
• 15:23
  Speaker 1: that's brought up so often? Now? Yeah, I don't like
• 15:27
  Speaker 1: that people can use it as an excuse for like
• 15:29
  Speaker 1: my behavior or something like that, you know what I mean,
• 15:31
  Speaker 1: Explain more, tell me more. Like, let's say, because I'm
• 15:34
  Speaker 1: obviously I make a lot of bad decisions in life.
• 15:36
  Speaker 1: I think we all do. I mean, maybe more so
• 15:37
  Speaker 1: than others. But sometimes I see the case being made like, oh,
• 15:40
  Speaker 1: he had a heart upbringing, so like let's give him
• 15:42
  Speaker 1: a pass on this. You know, I don't like hearing that.
• 15:44
  Speaker 1: I don't necessarily think that just because my mom died
• 15:46
  Speaker 1: when I was fifteen, or my friend Hunter died when
• 15:48
  Speaker 1: I was ten, or Alex that when I was twenty one,
• 15:50
  Speaker 1: that like that gives me a pass on anything. Um,
• 15:54
  Speaker 1: So yeah, I don't know, Like I just think it's
• 15:56
  Speaker 1: kind of I don't think that excuses any type of
• 15:59
  Speaker 1: bad behavior, you know what I mean. So I guess
• 16:00
  Speaker 1: maybe that's kind of why I stay quiet about it.
• 16:03
  Speaker 1: That's an anti victim mentality that you're taking. So like
• 16:05
  Speaker 1: you're saying, don't give me sympathy, don't don't lay off
• 16:10
  Speaker 1: of holding me accountable to live to being a greater
• 16:12
  Speaker 1: person because of the pains of my past. Though that's
• 16:17
  Speaker 1: not an excuse for you. I think it's a silly
• 16:19
  Speaker 1: thing to think that it would be things like who
• 16:21
  Speaker 1: whatever I wanted? People use that excuses, Yeah, but no
• 16:24
  Speaker 1: one wants that like you should You shouldn't really have
• 16:26
  Speaker 1: excuses and be it shouldn't be for anything that happened
• 16:30
  Speaker 1: to you in the past. Like, I don't know, I
• 16:32
  Speaker 1: just think it's silly. It's like, Okay, that was a
• 16:34
  Speaker 1: long time ago, a b. Even if it was like
• 16:36
  Speaker 1: that should encourage you to do things maybe better or differently. Um,
• 16:41
  Speaker 1: and so I would never like, I would never be like, oh,
• 16:43
  Speaker 1: I'm sorry that I did this, but when I was younger,
• 16:46
  Speaker 1: like this happened to me, and so now I feel
• 16:47
  Speaker 1: this way and that's what's making me act like this,
• 16:49
  Speaker 1: you know what I mean? Does that make sense? I
• 16:52
  Speaker 1: I it completely makes sense to me. It's not common.
• 16:57
  Speaker 1: It's the thought process of don't you my pass as
• 17:00
  Speaker 1: an excuse is not common. I think it should be
• 17:04
  Speaker 1: more common. Fair, you can you can think that it's
• 17:07
  Speaker 1: just not so when when you sit here and you
• 17:09
  Speaker 1: tell me, then let me, let me try to get
• 17:12
  Speaker 1: to the bottom of this. What role did your past
• 17:15
  Speaker 1: in these traumatic situations in your life that did change
• 17:19
  Speaker 1: the course of direction? What role do they play in
• 17:22
  Speaker 1: your life now? I don't think if they're not an excuse,
• 17:26
  Speaker 1: I don't think they play any role in my life.
• 17:28
  Speaker 1: I mean, sure they've there, they were of all stepping
• 17:30
  Speaker 1: stones that like every time that something happened to me,
• 17:33
  Speaker 1: you know, you have to come out the other side
• 17:35
  Speaker 1: of it, But I don't think that I don't know,
• 17:38
  Speaker 1: it's hard to say, Like, obviously I'm a product of
• 17:39
  Speaker 1: all of the experience that I've had as a person,
• 17:41
  Speaker 1: right and I would be a completely different person had
• 17:43
  Speaker 1: none of those things ever happened. And a lot of
• 17:45
  Speaker 1: the good things in my life that have happened are
• 17:47
  Speaker 1: in a weird way like because of those things, those
• 17:50
  Speaker 1: bad things, Right, So I would never say that I'm
• 17:53
  Speaker 1: I'm not who I am because of those things. But
• 17:56
  Speaker 1: they don't have like any bearing on my day to
• 17:59
  Speaker 1: day life, you know, like, I don't. I think they
• 18:02
  Speaker 1: do at least. Yeah. I think one of the things
• 18:06
  Speaker 1: that has always amazed me about you is that your
• 18:09
  Speaker 1: thought process in these moments like this, because if you
• 18:12
  Speaker 1: really do believe that, and it's it's pretty it's it's
• 18:15
  Speaker 1: pretty true for you that you don't use these things
• 18:19
  Speaker 1: that have like definitely hurt, that have caused tears, that
• 18:22
  Speaker 1: have caused confusion, that have shaken your world view up.
• 18:25
  Speaker 1: You don't use those as excuses for what you're doing today.
• 18:29
  Speaker 1: They're they're pivotal points, they're they're foundational building stones, as
• 18:34
  Speaker 1: you call them, but they aren't excuses for Hey, because
• 18:37
  Speaker 1: my mom is past, that's why I am doing X
• 18:40
  Speaker 1: y Z, So I want to shift gears here because
• 18:44
  Speaker 1: it's not fair for me. And I don't really know
• 18:45
  Speaker 1: what would be talked about when it comes to these
• 18:47
  Speaker 1: bad decisions. What bad decisions are people talking about when
• 18:50
  Speaker 1: it comes to you that they're dismissing your behavior because
• 18:54
  Speaker 1: of your past. I don't know. You see a lot
• 18:55
  Speaker 1: of like, obviously I've got not the most successful dating history, right,
• 18:58
  Speaker 1: So it's like I would never like now that I'm
• 19:02
  Speaker 1: dating Kalin, Right, I would never like if I lose
• 19:05
  Speaker 1: my temper, which obviously doesn't happen very often, if ever.
• 19:08
  Speaker 1: But I would never blame a bad decision on something
• 19:12
  Speaker 1: that happened to me back then because of that. Like, like,
• 19:15
  Speaker 1: so you lose your temper, right, I'm like, oh, I'm upset,
• 19:18
  Speaker 1: but it's okay because my mom's dead. Like that's just
• 19:20
  Speaker 1: kind of messed up, you know what I mean, Like,
• 19:22
  Speaker 1: I would never do that. That's kind of what I'm
• 19:24
  Speaker 1: saying where it's like, and I think it's why people.
• 19:26
  Speaker 1: I think it's why you're voted the one interview that
• 19:28
  Speaker 1: every wants to here because I think you are unique
• 19:30
  Speaker 1: in it. I don't think you're alone in that, and
• 19:34
  Speaker 1: I don't think you're wrong in it. But I Dean,
• 19:36
  Speaker 1: I think what intrigues people about you is that mindset,
• 19:41
  Speaker 1: because yes, you've done things like we all have, that
• 19:43
  Speaker 1: have been considered mistakes or maybe have hurt people in
• 19:45
  Speaker 1: the process or hurt yourself in the process, but you
• 19:48
  Speaker 1: don't look at those situations. And this is the beautiful
• 19:50
  Speaker 1: thing about having being a friend of yours is you
• 19:52
  Speaker 1: don't look at those situations and blame anything but yourself.
• 19:56
  Speaker 1: You take ownership for it. Everybody out there watch goes.
• 20:01
  Speaker 1: There's something freeing about that. Then I want to know
• 20:05
  Speaker 1: more about and I won't know where that comes from.
• 20:08
  Speaker 1: I don't know where it comes from. I wish I
• 20:11
  Speaker 1: could know where it comes from. Confidence. I don't think
• 20:14
  Speaker 1: there's I don't I don't know. I don't know if
• 20:16
  Speaker 1: I'm the most confident person in the world. Maybe inwardly,
• 20:19
  Speaker 1: but I don't think I expressed. I don't know. Do
• 20:21
  Speaker 1: what am I confident? I suppose maybe sometimes Tori's not
• 20:24
  Speaker 1: even heard. Yes, I guess so, Um. I honestly, I
• 20:29
  Speaker 1: really don't know. I haven't really put too much thought
• 20:31
  Speaker 1: into why that is that way I think again, it
• 20:34
  Speaker 1: boils back down. So. I mean when I was a kid,
• 20:37
  Speaker 1: up until I was about thirteen or fourteen, we were
• 20:39
  Speaker 1: pretty like devoutly Presbyterian. We went to Sunday school and
• 20:42
  Speaker 1: Sunday Church every every week up until my mom got
• 20:45
  Speaker 1: really really sick, and we had like this good foundational
• 20:49
  Speaker 1: um religious aspect to our family. Even though like the kids,
• 20:52
  Speaker 1: as most kids do, they hate to go to church
• 20:53
  Speaker 1: on Sundays, but my parents wanted to do. It was
• 20:55
  Speaker 1: like an hour drive every day every Sunday. I'm sorry,
• 20:58
  Speaker 1: um and then I went to college, I kind of
• 21:01
  Speaker 1: like shed all of that and I became for like
• 21:04
  Speaker 1: three years or something, I was like this like steadfastly
• 21:07
  Speaker 1: atheist in college, and I was like, God, isn't real
• 21:09
  Speaker 1: that all this is just bogus whatever. Um. I've kind
• 21:12
  Speaker 1: of come around on that a little bit since then,
• 21:14
  Speaker 1: but I think that those years in college, I was
• 21:17
  Speaker 1: kind of just like very heavily to nihilistic as well,
• 21:21
  Speaker 1: and I was just like nothing matters. All of the
• 21:24
  Speaker 1: past is the past, the future is the future, and
• 21:25
  Speaker 1: there's no reason to like let the past have any
• 21:28
  Speaker 1: dictation on your future self, right, And so I think
• 21:30
  Speaker 1: that's kind of where I took that mentality from. And
• 21:33
  Speaker 1: even in college, Like I remember I was dating this
• 21:36
  Speaker 1: girl when I was a sophomore. We had been dating
• 21:39
  Speaker 1: for like ten months or something like that, and I
• 21:41
  Speaker 1: had just moved into a house and with that moving
• 21:43
  Speaker 1: I had like a shoe box that I had like
• 21:45
  Speaker 1: a bunch of old pictures and stuff in and like
• 21:47
  Speaker 1: letters and all that kind of stuff that I had
• 21:49
  Speaker 1: never told anyone about. And she like was moving with
• 21:51
  Speaker 1: with me, and we like opened it together and she
• 21:52
  Speaker 1: was like, oh my gosh, like I'm finally getting like
• 21:54
  Speaker 1: a peek into you as a child or like you're older,
• 21:56
  Speaker 1: you know, like some of your memories and like something
• 21:58
  Speaker 1: that I had never really shared before. I guess I
• 21:59
  Speaker 1: just I've never really associated uh like past self with
• 22:03
  Speaker 1: either present or future self. Um, for better for worse.
• 22:06
  Speaker 1: Like what you're able to do with your platform is
• 22:10
  Speaker 1: like you're building things right, And maybe I guess like
• 22:12
  Speaker 1: I'm ashamed of who I am now or who I'm
• 22:14
  Speaker 1: going to be, and so that's kind of why I
• 22:15
  Speaker 1: like kind of keep things under wraps a little bit. Um,
• 22:19
  Speaker 1: I don't know. I guess I haven't really liked held
• 22:21
  Speaker 1: much too much deeper much into that. If you just
• 22:25
  Speaker 1: notice their Dean's really good at like quietly turning it
• 22:29
  Speaker 1: back on me for just a second. It's really great.
• 22:31
  Speaker 1: It's a really good skill set he has. But we're
• 22:33
  Speaker 1: not gonna let it happen today. Um, We're gonna take
• 22:35
  Speaker 1: a break here, and when we get back, I want
• 22:37
  Speaker 1: to talk to Dean. I want to start the beginning
• 22:38
  Speaker 1: how in the world, uh is Dean? Ungle who he is?
• 22:42
  Speaker 1: And then also how does he get on the show,
• 22:43
  Speaker 1: because it just doesn't make sense. You're gonna hear the
• 22:48
  Speaker 1: end of the podcast, UH an interview with Bob Dalton.
• 22:52
  Speaker 1: Bob Dalton, I both have started small businesses. UH. Part
• 22:56
  Speaker 1: of starting a small business is also hiring team around you. Actually,
• 22:59
  Speaker 1: when some he asks me, Okay, how do you make
• 23:02
  Speaker 1: a small business work, my response is always I never
• 23:05
  Speaker 1: make it work. It's the team we have that makes
• 23:08
  Speaker 1: this work. You want to surround yourself with the best people,
• 23:10
  Speaker 1: and that's why I use zip Recruiter. Hiring can be
• 23:12
  Speaker 1: a challenge, as Quotable co founder Gretchen Heabner discovered. Gretchen
• 23:17
  Speaker 1: needed to hire a game artist for her education tech company.
• 23:21
  Speaker 1: She knew it wouldn't be easy to find someone to
• 23:23
  Speaker 1: grow with her team. That's why she went to zip Recruiter.
• 23:26
  Speaker 1: Like Gretchen, Generous also uses zip Recruiter to help mind
• 23:30
  Speaker 1: the most talented of people. In fact, before Generous even started,
• 23:34
  Speaker 1: I was using zip Recruiter. I was on zip recruiter
• 23:37
  Speaker 1: to help me find jobs. Zip Recruiter doesn't depend on
• 23:40
  Speaker 1: candidates finding you, it finds them for you. This technology
• 23:43
  Speaker 1: identifies people with the right experience and invites them to
• 23:46
  Speaker 1: apply to your job, so you get qualified candidates fast.
• 23:50
  Speaker 1: Gretchen posted her job on zip recruiter, and she said
• 23:53
  Speaker 1: she was so impressed with how quickly she found qualified applicants.
• 23:57
  Speaker 1: She also uses zip recruiter screening questions to filter her
• 24:01
  Speaker 1: candidates so she could focus on the best ones. And
• 24:05
  Speaker 1: that's yes, that's how Gretchen found a new game artist
• 24:08
  Speaker 1: in less than two weeks. Hey, I'm telling you, if
• 24:12
  Speaker 1: you want to hire the best employees and surround yourself
• 24:15
  Speaker 1: with the best people, Zipp recruiter is the way to
• 24:18
  Speaker 1: do it. With results like this, it's no wonder. Four
• 24:21
  Speaker 1: out of five employers who post on zip recruiter get
• 24:24
  Speaker 1: a qualified quality candidate within the first day. See why
• 24:28
  Speaker 1: zipp recruiter is effective for businesses of all sizes. Try
• 24:32
  Speaker 1: Zipp recruiter for free at zipp recruiter dot com back
• 24:34
  Speaker 1: slash ben that's zipp recruiter dot com backslash b e
• 24:38
  Speaker 1: n Zipp recruiter dot com slash ben Zipp recruiter the
• 24:42
  Speaker 1: smartest way to hire. Come back with Dean Angler. Dean,
• 24:49
  Speaker 1: let's start at the beginning. You're raised an Aspen, Colorado,
• 24:54
  Speaker 1: Yeah right, more Basalt, Colorado, but Aspens the nearest time
• 24:57
  Speaker 1: that everyone knows you know, close enough and and pretty
• 25:00
  Speaker 1: normal childhood. Yeah, I suppose talk about it, and that
• 25:06
  Speaker 1: is not it's not convincing. I don't know if I
• 25:08
  Speaker 1: know your childhood very well at all. Where do you
• 25:10
  Speaker 1: want to start with the childhood exactly? Let's started at seven?
• 25:17
  Speaker 1: Well I was six, Ben, Okay, it's a little backstory
• 25:20
  Speaker 1: for the listener out there. I can finde it in Ben,
• 25:22
  Speaker 1: a story that I have only dressed recently open and
• 25:24
  Speaker 1: started opening up about. Um. Actually not to long ago.
• 25:26
  Speaker 1: Ashley and Jared's wedding, I think was the first time
• 25:28
  Speaker 1: I told you about it. It's one of the best
• 25:30
  Speaker 1: we're gonna I'll help you here, though you tell yours,
• 25:33
  Speaker 1: I'll tell mine well. And so I was gonna say
• 25:35
  Speaker 1: that one of the reasons that I was able to
• 25:37
  Speaker 1: open up to Ben about this was because he has
• 25:39
  Speaker 1: obviously as warm and welcoming as he is. Not only
• 25:41
  Speaker 1: was he like receptive and empathetic, but he also had
• 25:44
  Speaker 1: a very similar story of his own to share back
• 25:45
  Speaker 1: with me, which only just helps us connect on a
• 25:48
  Speaker 1: deeper level. I think, right, I don't want to diminish
• 25:50
  Speaker 1: how great this podcast is gonna be. Getting to know you.
• 25:53
  Speaker 1: I have a feeling that this will be the segment
• 25:56
  Speaker 1: that gets the most response. My heart's beating a factor
• 26:00
  Speaker 1: that normally I thought about this story a lot, and
• 26:03
  Speaker 1: I thought about how if I ever decided to share
• 26:04
  Speaker 1: it publicly, how I would go about doing it. I
• 26:06
  Speaker 1: never thought that I would be sharing it on a podcast.
• 26:10
  Speaker 1: Let's do it. Um. So, I was bullied a lot
• 26:13
  Speaker 1: in high school and middle school for one very specific
• 26:15
  Speaker 1: read well, yeah, for one specific reason. Um. And I've
• 26:18
  Speaker 1: only just started sharing this story, probably within the past year,
• 26:22
  Speaker 1: so I would say December was the first time I
• 26:25
  Speaker 1: started staring sharing this story, so less than a year actually, um,
• 26:31
  Speaker 1: and some of my closest friends know about it. My
• 26:33
  Speaker 1: current girlfriend knows about it. Ben obviously knows about it.
• 26:36
  Speaker 1: Band's girlfriend knows about it. And you know what, I'm
• 26:40
  Speaker 1: just gonna share it anyways. I don't know if we
• 26:41
  Speaker 1: can curse on this one. Let's go ahead and bleep
• 26:43
  Speaker 1: that out. So. I was bullied a lot in middle
• 26:45
  Speaker 1: school and in high school because of an event that
• 26:48
  Speaker 1: happened to me when I was six years old. I
• 26:50
  Speaker 1: hurt myself in a way that's very specific to how
• 26:54
  Speaker 1: only a man can hurt himself. UM. And I didn't
• 26:57
  Speaker 1: have the courage to stand up for myself later on
• 26:59
  Speaker 1: in life to the people that would then bully me
• 27:01
  Speaker 1: forward that event. So it was first grade. It was recess.
• 27:06
  Speaker 1: I was. We had this like suspension bridge on the playground,
• 27:10
  Speaker 1: and on the sides of the sustension suspension bridge, obviously
• 27:13
  Speaker 1: we're like these ropes to hold the bridge in the air.
• 27:18
  Speaker 1: And one of the ropes came undone somehow throughout the
• 27:21
  Speaker 1: wear and terror of the of a normal day, and uh,
• 27:26
  Speaker 1: they were attached at the bottom by these little hooks
• 27:28
  Speaker 1: that would like hook onto the bridge. And so marks
• 27:32
  Speaker 1: marks already kind of get into it a little bit.
• 27:34
  Speaker 1: This is not even looking anymore. And so as a
• 27:39
  Speaker 1: six year old, curious, adventurous, excited, I put my foot
• 27:42
  Speaker 1: on the hook to like swing back and forth and
• 27:44
  Speaker 1: beat my chest like Tarzan swinging through the jungle. And uh,
• 27:48
  Speaker 1: sure enough, that hook was small, My foot was small,
• 27:51
  Speaker 1: didn't have very good grip. Slipped off. This bridge was
• 27:54
  Speaker 1: probably i want to say, seven ft in the air.
• 27:56
  Speaker 1: I was, you know, three ft tall. So it was
• 27:59
  Speaker 1: a tall bridge, and the hook, instead of finding anywhere
• 28:03
  Speaker 1: else to fall it, decided to go right it between
• 28:05
  Speaker 1: my legs, hook onto the thing that carries the two
• 28:10
  Speaker 1: things that define us as meant and ripped up just
• 28:14
  Speaker 1: about to just below the end of that other thing
• 28:17
  Speaker 1: that it literally ripped all the wa up to the
• 28:19
  Speaker 1: end of his penis, scrolled him to the end of
• 28:21
  Speaker 1: his penis, if we're using those words, shore from about
• 28:25
  Speaker 1: halfway on my ball sack to about three uh just
• 28:28
  Speaker 1: below the tip of my penis about six inches, So like,
• 28:32
  Speaker 1: you know, let's just say it was a big it
• 28:34
  Speaker 1: was a top. It's a big cut, uh yes. And
• 28:38
  Speaker 1: so obviously, as a six year old, I run to
• 28:40
  Speaker 1: the doctor. I'm like screaming, I'm crying. I have no
• 28:42
  Speaker 1: idea what to do. So I like hobble run all
• 28:44
  Speaker 1: the way up to the nurse and she goes, this
• 28:46
  Speaker 1: is way over my head. I gotta figure out what
• 28:48
  Speaker 1: to do with nurse. So she calls my mom, my mom.
• 28:52
  Speaker 1: I'm like laying in the nurse's office. My mom comes
• 28:54
  Speaker 1: and she's like, okay, well, we've gotta like bring you
• 28:56
  Speaker 1: to surgery. So I go to like the nearest surgeon
• 28:58
  Speaker 1: and they stitched me up. I think it was like
• 28:59
  Speaker 1: four you're so stitches and my penis from my scrolled
• 29:02
  Speaker 1: them to the up up the shaft to my penis
• 29:04
  Speaker 1: down to just blow the head um. Everything was fine
• 29:08
  Speaker 1: obviously as a six year old, so I don't remember
• 29:10
  Speaker 1: the pain too much. I remember like some of the
• 29:11
  Speaker 1: side effects, like having the gaza every every so often.
• 29:14
  Speaker 1: My mom had like take care of me, clean me,
• 29:16
  Speaker 1: make sure it was like disinfected um. And for the
• 29:19
  Speaker 1: longest time, I was like, this is the worst thing
• 29:20
  Speaker 1: that ever could have happened to me, Like I'm deformed,
• 29:22
  Speaker 1: I'm so abnormal. Everything was fine, Like my penis and
• 29:25
  Speaker 1: scrolled them are perfectly fine. I just got like kind
• 29:27
  Speaker 1: of a narlage scar down there, you know what I mean.
• 29:29
  Speaker 1: We were able to to urinate normally. Oh, I don't remember,
• 29:32
  Speaker 1: I think so I remember the catheter for an extended period. No,
• 29:34
  Speaker 1: I didn't definitely didn't need a catheter. I remember one
• 29:36
  Speaker 1: specific story. We were like I went on vacation somewhere
• 29:38
  Speaker 1: and this hotel had to pool, and I really wanted
• 29:40
  Speaker 1: to go to the pool, but obviously wasn't allowed in
• 29:42
  Speaker 1: the water because I had this open wound on my
• 29:44
  Speaker 1: on my testicles. And I remember like like hobbling running
• 29:47
  Speaker 1: down the hallway for a long time. My brother. I
• 29:48
  Speaker 1: don't know, it's just this this very distinct memory that
• 29:50
  Speaker 1: I have. But um, as kids do, they like to
• 29:55
  Speaker 1: obviously like create stories and start rumors. And what they
• 29:58
  Speaker 1: did was they kind of started this rumor that I
• 30:00
  Speaker 1: only had one testicle for a long long time and
• 30:03
  Speaker 1: it didn't really matter much. When I was an elementary
• 30:04
  Speaker 1: school or middle school at this rumor was going around
• 30:06
  Speaker 1: that I I had one testicle. But then when I got
• 30:08
  Speaker 1: to high school, when testicle has become an important thing, right,
• 30:12
  Speaker 1: the rumor became that I only had one testicle still
• 30:14
  Speaker 1: when I was in high school, and everyone like joked
• 30:17
  Speaker 1: about it like behind my back and something like very
• 30:19
  Speaker 1: rarely brought it up to my face, but it happened
• 30:21
  Speaker 1: a couple of times, and I was always like so
• 30:23
  Speaker 1: like ashamed and taking it. Like I couldn't defend myself
• 30:25
  Speaker 1: because I just wasn't confident enough to be like, I've
• 30:27
  Speaker 1: got two testicles, and I like everyone needs to know it,
• 30:31
  Speaker 1: you know what I mean? And so I was bullied
• 30:33
  Speaker 1: pretty heavily for that. And on top of that, I
• 30:34
  Speaker 1: had like a very attractive my sister is very attractive,
• 30:36
  Speaker 1: and they always like bullied me for that. Um and
• 30:39
  Speaker 1: then I like because of I don't know, if it
• 30:41
  Speaker 1: was because of the stitches that I got on my
• 30:43
  Speaker 1: scrolled him, or I had a couple of unique injuries
• 30:45
  Speaker 1: as well. But I walked really funny. And so everyone
• 30:48
  Speaker 1: in high school, well not everyone, like the upper classman
• 30:49
  Speaker 1: when I was playing football, they would always say that
• 30:51
  Speaker 1: I walked around, I had a build up my and
• 30:53
  Speaker 1: so because of these things, and he didn't, and so
• 30:57
  Speaker 1: I did not have a build um. And this was
• 31:00
  Speaker 1: a story that Ben and I bonded over because Ben,
• 31:01
  Speaker 1: I think has maybe shared on this podcast almost famous,
• 31:04
  Speaker 1: but he has a similar ish story. But I just
• 31:07
  Speaker 1: want to be clear, right, that's similar in the hook
• 31:10
  Speaker 1: to the genital yeah, not the second party. Oh and
• 31:13
  Speaker 1: also I think I might have shared this on the
• 31:15
  Speaker 1: Help I Suck, a dating podcast. But when I moved
• 31:17
  Speaker 1: to Los Angeles, one of the first things I did
• 31:19
  Speaker 1: was to get my potency checked. And what I said
• 31:21
  Speaker 1: was on the podcast the first time was that I
• 31:23
  Speaker 1: wanted to, you know, I just wanted to see how
• 31:25
  Speaker 1: I was doing down there, just out of curiosity. But
• 31:27
  Speaker 1: the reality of it is, I just wanted to know
• 31:29
  Speaker 1: if like the stitches or you know, the rusty hook
• 31:32
  Speaker 1: that just cut my penis open, maybe like inhibited my
• 31:35
  Speaker 1: ability to have children. Who knows, right, the long story short,
• 31:39
  Speaker 1: it didn't like it might. Everything's fine down there in
• 31:41
  Speaker 1: that sense, But that's always it was always just going
• 31:42
  Speaker 1: to send pictures out if anybody's like, yeah, send pics.
• 31:45
  Speaker 1: No that's not funny, it's about I can show you.
• 31:48
  Speaker 1: Well I won't, but I could. I can't. Got really excited.
• 31:53
  Speaker 1: Is it Is it that noticeable? No, it's not. And
• 31:55
  Speaker 1: no one you would, like of all the girlfriends I've
• 31:57
  Speaker 1: ever had, no one ever knew about it until I
• 31:58
  Speaker 1: finally just started telling, like talking about it a year ago, right, Um,
• 32:02
  Speaker 1: and yeah, I think like talking about it it's kind
• 32:05
  Speaker 1: of like released some of the power that has had
• 32:06
  Speaker 1: on me. The thing is like a lot of the
• 32:08
  Speaker 1: kids from high school with like some of my best
• 32:09
  Speaker 1: friends from high school still think that I probably only
• 32:12
  Speaker 1: have one testicle. Let's being a clear you have to
• 32:14
  Speaker 1: I have two testicles and they both function as testicles
• 32:17
  Speaker 1: for function. Um, I guess I can share this story.
• 32:21
  Speaker 1: Like the reason the first time I ever opened up
• 32:23
  Speaker 1: about the scar my penis uh is when Leslie and
• 32:28
  Speaker 1: I were dating. Leslie of course had a double mistech
• 32:30
  Speaker 1: to me, and she has scars on her breast because
• 32:32
  Speaker 1: of that, and I was like, look, you're not that
• 32:33
  Speaker 1: different than me. I've got a scar on my genitals
• 32:35
  Speaker 1: as well, and let me prove it to you. And
• 32:38
  Speaker 1: so that's how I started. That was like, the first
• 32:39
  Speaker 1: time I told the story to someone, what was her response?
• 32:41
  Speaker 1: She was like, why are you so freaked out about this? Like,
• 32:44
  Speaker 1: if your penis is perfectly normal, that's kind of weird
• 32:47
  Speaker 1: talking about my penis in the context of my ex girlfriends.
• 32:53
  Speaker 1: But that was but that was the first time I
• 32:55
  Speaker 1: ever shared the story with anyone, right, And so then
• 32:57
  Speaker 1: then I would like kind of get drunk with some
• 32:59
  Speaker 1: of my US friends and be like, hey, guys, I've
• 33:01
  Speaker 1: got a funny story to tell you about my penis.
• 33:03
  Speaker 1: And obviously they're like, yeah, tell us, this is going
• 33:05
  Speaker 1: to be great. Yeah. And it was I the first
• 33:07
  Speaker 1: ever go I think I don't have one, the one upset.
• 33:10
  Speaker 1: It's on the same level though, and I you were
• 33:12
  Speaker 1: the first one to ever rebuttal with the story of
• 33:14
  Speaker 1: your own, which I really appreciate, and I would I mean,
• 33:15
  Speaker 1: if you want to give us like a I would
• 33:17
  Speaker 1: love to. Yeah, that make you feel better. It's a
• 33:20
  Speaker 1: great segment we're gonna we're gonna skip all of Dean's
• 33:24
  Speaker 1: childhood just for this segment. But I guess the point
• 33:27
  Speaker 1: the point of that story was that that was something
• 33:29
  Speaker 1: that I was centrally bullied for for a lot as
• 33:31
  Speaker 1: a kid, Right, the thought that I had a test?
• 33:34
  Speaker 1: Isn't it funny that it's not funny? Isn't it odd
• 33:37
  Speaker 1: that some of those stories like that that we maybe
• 33:39
  Speaker 1: like suppress and hold deep and like laugh about now
• 33:42
  Speaker 1: a little bit are the ones that have affected us
• 33:44
  Speaker 1: a most as we've grown up. This story that I'm
• 33:46
  Speaker 1: about to share did suck my confidence away. Um, Okay,
• 33:49
  Speaker 1: So here it is. I'll tell a quick version later
• 33:52
  Speaker 1: on what we record a longer version of it. Um.
• 33:55
  Speaker 1: I was so freshman year of Heist school. Um, I
• 34:01
  Speaker 1: got called to be the starting quarterback. It's a big deal.
• 34:04
  Speaker 1: Two injuries. It wasn't because I was great. It was
• 34:05
  Speaker 1: two injuries. I got to step up and I had
• 34:07
  Speaker 1: a great first game. It was awesome. It was fun.
• 34:09
  Speaker 1: I thought, like the futures in football. Um, sophomore year,
• 34:14
  Speaker 1: I'm supposed to start again. Obviously, Um, the senior class
• 34:18
  Speaker 1: had graduated, and so I have a shot to to
• 34:21
  Speaker 1: be the starter. All of a sudden, I start feeling
• 34:24
  Speaker 1: like just a pain in my testicles, like a soreness,
• 34:27
  Speaker 1: a heat like just like it throbbed all the time.
• 34:30
  Speaker 1: So I'd reach down there and I was feeling just
• 34:33
  Speaker 1: in case there's something going on, and I felt a
• 34:34
  Speaker 1: clump like a bump, a clump of of something in
• 34:37
  Speaker 1: my testicles, and so I told my parents and they
• 34:40
  Speaker 1: took me to the doctor. I went to doctor, and
• 34:41
  Speaker 1: the doctor diagnosed me with something called a very coast seal.
• 34:44
  Speaker 1: Very co steal is something very common one in four
• 34:46
  Speaker 1: men and get it um. Not every I think it's
• 34:48
  Speaker 1: one and eight that need to get removed. But mine
• 34:50
  Speaker 1: was big enough that I need to get removed. But
• 34:52
  Speaker 1: a very coast seal is is it's a it's an
• 34:54
  Speaker 1: extra like vein in your sack that heats that blood
• 34:59
  Speaker 1: comes through I' sleep and it overheats your testicles and
• 35:02
  Speaker 1: so it would kill off your sperm. So if you
• 35:04
  Speaker 1: leave it for long enough, actually your sperm will stop
• 35:06
  Speaker 1: producing um and you'll become sterile. So you need to
• 35:09
  Speaker 1: get removed at some point soon. Well, mine started to
• 35:11
  Speaker 1: get so bad and so sore that I did it.
• 35:14
  Speaker 1: A couple of months before football season, thinking I'll get
• 35:16
  Speaker 1: this done, I'll get it cleared up and then I'll
• 35:18
  Speaker 1: be good to go for football. It's an easy surgery. Actually,
• 35:20
  Speaker 1: they just go in through your groin um arthur scopic.
• 35:24
  Speaker 1: They pull it out, cut it up, caught aorized the ends.
• 35:27
  Speaker 1: You don't even hardly know it happened, and within two
• 35:29
  Speaker 1: days you're back gone. So all that's going really well
• 35:32
  Speaker 1: for me. Um I go in for surgery, I come
• 35:36
  Speaker 1: back home. I remember this. I'm laying on my bed
• 35:38
  Speaker 1: in my house and all of a sudden, um, my
• 35:45
  Speaker 1: nuts just start hurting so bad after surgery. And at
• 35:49
  Speaker 1: the time I thought maybe it was because I just
• 35:51
  Speaker 1: had surgery in my testicles. That would make sense, right,
• 35:53
  Speaker 1: But they start hurting so bad and they start burning.
• 35:57
  Speaker 1: And I called my dad in. It's been about twenty
• 35:59
  Speaker 1: four hours in surgery, and I said, Dad, I need
• 36:01
  Speaker 1: you to look at these. It hurts so bad. And
• 36:03
  Speaker 1: so I lifted up my my sheets or whatever, and
• 36:06
  Speaker 1: he looked, and he's like, we need to get you
• 36:07
  Speaker 1: the doctor right now. My ball had swollen up to
• 36:10
  Speaker 1: the size of a grapefruit and we didn't know why.
• 36:13
  Speaker 1: So my my I had a massive testicle, and I
• 36:16
  Speaker 1: go into the doctor and this is what the doctor does.
• 36:21
  Speaker 1: Literally what happened was the vein that they're supposed to
• 36:24
  Speaker 1: caughter ice together did not cauter ice completely, and so
• 36:26
  Speaker 1: blood was just pumping directly every time my heart would
• 36:29
  Speaker 1: pump into my testicle. And so they had to take
• 36:32
  Speaker 1: a needle, a drainage needle, and shove it right into
• 36:34
  Speaker 1: my ball sack without numbing me because it was getting
• 36:38
  Speaker 1: so big so fast, and start draining the blood and
• 36:41
  Speaker 1: the liquid off of my ball sack like as I'm
• 36:45
  Speaker 1: wide awake and on non numbed, non numbed, well, my
• 36:50
  Speaker 1: swelling doesn't go down for a few days. And so
• 36:52
  Speaker 1: I go back to the high school and because of
• 36:55
  Speaker 1: the damage that's been done down there, and it was
• 36:57
  Speaker 1: a lot of damage, you know, they had to go
• 36:59
  Speaker 1: back in recaught her eyes. They had just stuck a
• 37:01
  Speaker 1: needle in my testicles. Like there's a lot of like
• 37:03
  Speaker 1: trauma to a place that's like really sensitive. It stayed swollen,
• 37:08
  Speaker 1: and I had to go back to high school and
• 37:09
  Speaker 1: I had to sit on ice in every class. I
• 37:11
  Speaker 1: couldn't missed more class and so I had to sit
• 37:13
  Speaker 1: on ice. So I had to carry an ice bag
• 37:14
  Speaker 1: around and sit on it where you can't hide that
• 37:17
  Speaker 1: in class, and so people would ask what's happened, what happened? Well,
• 37:20
  Speaker 1: it got to the point where it's like, screw it,
• 37:22
  Speaker 1: I'm just gonna start showing, like people my testicle. So
• 37:25
  Speaker 1: I showed the football team, like why I wasn't practicing?
• 37:27
  Speaker 1: And I showed the basketball team, like why I wasn't
• 37:29
  Speaker 1: going to the open gyms, like here, check out my
• 37:32
  Speaker 1: my testicles, and they did, and I'm not kidding, like
• 37:36
  Speaker 1: it's it's still to this day. Was something that was
• 37:38
  Speaker 1: brought up every time I was like, I had a
• 37:40
  Speaker 1: deformed test school that was the size of a grape
• 37:42
  Speaker 1: fruit for probably two weeks of my life in class.
• 37:45
  Speaker 1: So that's why Den and I related on that. So
• 37:51
  Speaker 1: at that point, So at that point, Dina and I
• 37:55
  Speaker 1: are sitting around having drinks at Ashley Jared's wedding going
• 37:57
  Speaker 1: I knew I liked you, and I knew there's a
• 37:59
  Speaker 1: reason why, but I got made fun of it for
• 38:00
  Speaker 1: it too, and it really did affect me and like,
• 38:04
  Speaker 1: I think a little bit of my confidence. I don't
• 38:07
  Speaker 1: know if you felt this way, but the fact that
• 38:09
  Speaker 1: every underlying story about I felt like everybody was talking
• 38:12
  Speaker 1: about behind my back. Oh yeah, absolutely. I thought I
• 38:14
  Speaker 1: was gonna be a virgin for my entire life. I
• 38:16
  Speaker 1: was like, I'm no one's everyone asleep with me? Well,
• 38:19
  Speaker 1: and we'll talk about later. That hasn't in the case.
• 38:23
  Speaker 1: And what's funny is I remember when I hooked up
• 38:24
  Speaker 1: with my my girlfriend for the first time, she spent
• 38:27
  Speaker 1: a lot of extra time down there, like examining, like
• 38:29
  Speaker 1: feeling around, making sure everything felt normal because she had
• 38:33
  Speaker 1: obviously heard the stories, and she was like, Okay, well,
• 38:35
  Speaker 1: I'm going to spend a little bit time, you know,
• 38:36
  Speaker 1: figuring it out. But I was like, I was like
• 38:38
  Speaker 1: I would wake up has like a thirteen I lost
• 38:41
  Speaker 1: my virgin any when I was sixteen. I think I
• 38:43
  Speaker 1: would wake up almost every single day before that happened.
• 38:45
  Speaker 1: I was like, I'm going to be a virgin forever.
• 38:47
  Speaker 1: No one's gonna want to like have sex with me.
• 38:49
  Speaker 1: This is the worst thing in the world. How could
• 38:51
  Speaker 1: this happen to me of all people? Like this sucks?
• 38:53
  Speaker 1: And then obviously I lost it, and then I began
• 38:55
  Speaker 1: to realize, like, there's nothing wrong with me. Yeah, I
• 38:57
  Speaker 1: just like I created this thing in my head where
• 38:59
  Speaker 1: like I don't know, I let this have some power
• 39:01
  Speaker 1: over me in a weird way. There's there's about four
• 39:04
  Speaker 1: or five health stories from my high school to days,
• 39:07
  Speaker 1: middle school in high school days that have like dramatically
• 39:10
  Speaker 1: affected my life. We'll talk about him at some other point.
• 39:13
  Speaker 1: Five there's some wild ones man, and we'll talk about
• 39:16
  Speaker 1: at some other point, but not today. But that that
• 39:18
  Speaker 1: is my best story with UM. Yeah, with with our nuts.
• 39:23
  Speaker 1: Um Hey, before d and I really want to dive
• 39:25
  Speaker 1: into your childhood and some of the parts that mean
• 39:28
  Speaker 1: the most. But before we do, let's take one break
• 39:30
  Speaker 1: and we'll come back. UM to reach out with Dean.
• 39:37
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• 41:22
  Speaker 1: of screwed them talk today on the podcast. That's actually
• 41:25
  Speaker 1: a fantastic segment because it's it's so real, it's so true,
• 41:28
  Speaker 1: and it really did. It really did affect I just
• 41:34
  Speaker 1: I can I mean, honestly, ever since you told me
• 41:35
  Speaker 1: this story, I can't get over the idea that there's
• 41:37
  Speaker 1: a hook that just dolly ripped apart. You're under carriage, um,
• 41:43
  Speaker 1: dean with that, we're in a transition. It's there's no
• 41:45
  Speaker 1: easy way to do this. Um, what are your happiest
• 41:48
  Speaker 1: moments growing up? My happiest moments growing up? That's a
• 41:53
  Speaker 1: great question. Actually I don't know, um, I My childhood
• 41:58
  Speaker 1: started off kind of weird where we like lived in
• 42:00
  Speaker 1: RV Park up until I was about four or five
• 42:02
  Speaker 1: years old. Um, and I have like some distinct memories
• 42:05
  Speaker 1: from the r V that we're pretty wholesome. Like we
• 42:07
  Speaker 1: remember sitting on top of our ore well it was
• 42:10
  Speaker 1: a bus, right, so my dad like gutted us school
• 42:12
  Speaker 1: bus and put a bunch of beds into it, and
• 42:13
  Speaker 1: we lived in that for like four years. And I
• 42:15
  Speaker 1: just thinkly remember like one time we sat on top
• 42:17
  Speaker 1: of this bus and like watch some demolition derby while
• 42:19
  Speaker 1: we were eating oreos at night in some like town
• 42:22
  Speaker 1: in Oklahoma or something weird like that. Like that was
• 42:24
  Speaker 1: a good memory. UM. As a kid, like older wise,
• 42:28
  Speaker 1: I don't. I don't know. It's basically it was a
• 42:30
  Speaker 1: normal childhood, except aside from obviously all those other things,
• 42:33
  Speaker 1: you know what I mean. Like I remember we had
• 42:36
  Speaker 1: an easter and steamboat where like my mom had candy
• 42:39
  Speaker 1: around the apartment that we were staying in, like the
• 42:41
  Speaker 1: hotel room or something like that. I remember like spending
• 42:43
  Speaker 1: a lot of time with my brothers and sister like
• 42:45
  Speaker 1: looking for him, like having fun, and the snow was
• 42:46
  Speaker 1: falling outside and we're like this cool, exciting new place.
• 42:49
  Speaker 1: Just like small things like that, Um, but I don't
• 42:52
  Speaker 1: remember anything like specific. That's like that was like the
• 42:53
  Speaker 1: happiest moment of my life. You know. Do you think, um,
• 42:57
  Speaker 1: your family would look back on Dean as a kid
• 42:59
  Speaker 1: and say, we knew this who he is going to become?
• 43:02
  Speaker 1: What have I become? I guess is the question? Well,
• 43:04
  Speaker 1: you're living in a van, um. You you have a
• 43:07
  Speaker 1: lot of wonder lust. You're an artist, you do incredible videos, um,
• 43:12
  Speaker 1: and you've you can be kind of this like artist
• 43:16
  Speaker 1: wonder lust figure. And also I don't, I don't. I
• 43:20
  Speaker 1: can't say it any other better way, Like do really
• 43:22
  Speaker 1: well in reality television in some weird way. Yeah, what's
• 43:26
  Speaker 1: funny is the first time I went on the show,
• 43:27
  Speaker 1: my best friend was like, dude, you're gonna suck on
• 43:29
  Speaker 1: that show, like you're way too normal for it. And
• 43:31
  Speaker 1: I guess the more I think about it, the more
• 43:32
  Speaker 1: I'm like, I hope I'm not normal, you know what
• 43:34
  Speaker 1: I mean? Um? And what's funny about the living in
• 43:36
  Speaker 1: a van things? I'm actually in the majority in my
• 43:38
  Speaker 1: family for living in a van. My brother lives in
• 43:40
  Speaker 1: his truck, my father lives in an RV. My sister
• 43:43
  Speaker 1: and other brother both live in like home like an apartment.
• 43:46
  Speaker 1: Uh so three out of five of us live in
• 43:48
  Speaker 1: a car essentially, So I'm not wholly unique in my
• 43:50
  Speaker 1: family specifically. Um, I don't think that they would look
• 43:53
  Speaker 1: at me and think that at all, But like, I
• 43:57
  Speaker 1: don't know what interesting story about out my old Both
• 44:01
  Speaker 1: my brothers are older, but the second brother right. Uh.
• 44:04
  Speaker 1: None of us in our family are like really good
• 44:06
  Speaker 1: at communicating our feelings, especially as it comes to like
• 44:08
  Speaker 1: being brothers with each other, like how much we mean
• 44:09
  Speaker 1: to each other. Just a weird thing for brothers to do. Um.
• 44:13
  Speaker 1: On top of that, we're just weird people to begin with.
• 44:15
  Speaker 1: And I remember my brother's girlfriend and I were like
• 44:18
  Speaker 1: we were all going out, me, my brother, his girlfriend,
• 44:20
  Speaker 1: and my other brother and both my brothers went upstairs
• 44:22
  Speaker 1: because they forgot something. So it's just like me and
• 44:23
  Speaker 1: my brother's girlfriend were like waiting for them downstairs. I
• 44:26
  Speaker 1: remember she said something to me. She was like, Ross,
• 44:28
  Speaker 1: uh the other day told me how special you are?
• 44:32
  Speaker 1: And he was like, he told me that he that
• 44:36
  Speaker 1: Dean possesses all of my good qualities and none of
• 44:38
  Speaker 1: my bad qualities. And I was like, wow, I would
• 44:40
  Speaker 1: never expect Ross to say that, Like he would never
• 44:41
  Speaker 1: say that to me, just me and him talking, you
• 44:43
  Speaker 1: know what I mean. So it was like a cool
• 44:44
  Speaker 1: third party way to like find out that I don't know,
• 44:48
  Speaker 1: my brother's thought highly of me, which I've never really thought.
• 44:50
  Speaker 1: I would never think they thought lowly of me, you
• 44:51
  Speaker 1: know what I mean. But like it was just like
• 44:52
  Speaker 1: it's an interesting thing to hear that I really appreciated um.
• 44:57
  Speaker 1: But no, I mean, I don't think anyone would ever
• 44:59
  Speaker 1: expect or have suspected this. I was always kind of
• 45:01
  Speaker 1: this weird black sheep, where like I was the only
• 45:04
  Speaker 1: member of my family to have like an office job
• 45:06
  Speaker 1: as a recruiter, like I I set in an office
• 45:08
  Speaker 1: for at a desk for for you to fIF two
• 45:09
  Speaker 1: hours a week, and all my other brothers are like
• 45:11
  Speaker 1: your siblings are like you know my sister's hairstyle as
• 45:14
  Speaker 1: my brother is a waiter, My other brother is a carpenter,
• 45:16
  Speaker 1: My father is a carpenter. So it's like, I don't
• 45:18
  Speaker 1: know why I felt like this need to kind of
• 45:20
  Speaker 1: have like a more of a normal life at first. Um,
• 45:23
  Speaker 1: obviously reality tv TV kind of derailed that normalcy a
• 45:26
  Speaker 1: little bit, but uh, yeah, I don't know if it
• 45:31
  Speaker 1: if childhood wasn't full of like the happiest memories and
• 45:34
  Speaker 1: what are some of the hardest Uh, childhood was not
• 45:38
  Speaker 1: full of that? Well, obviously that the story of my
• 45:40
  Speaker 1: balls is not the best story. You had to bring
• 45:43
  Speaker 1: it back. Um, when I was ten, my best friend
• 45:47
  Speaker 1: got hit by a truck. That was like the first
• 45:49
  Speaker 1: experience of trauma that I've like I was kind of
• 45:51
  Speaker 1: had to deal with. He was my best friend. His
• 45:53
  Speaker 1: name was Hunter Holly Scott. Uh. He and I shared
• 45:57
  Speaker 1: a birthday April seventeenth, nine. And you know when you're
• 45:59
  Speaker 1: that age, like that's like a big deal. It's like
• 46:02
  Speaker 1: it's like enough of a reason to become best friends
• 46:04
  Speaker 1: with someone. And we were neighbors. We lived pretty close
• 46:06
  Speaker 1: to each other, so we spent a lot of time together.
• 46:08
  Speaker 1: But yeah, we were best friends. And then one summer
• 46:10
  Speaker 1: we were both like riding our bicycles to the market
• 46:13
  Speaker 1: and we had picked up like some drinks and some
• 46:15
  Speaker 1: snacks and we were riding back. And as I was riding,
• 46:18
  Speaker 1: we were riding back, he was like maybe ten feet
• 46:19
  Speaker 1: in front of me, and he lost his balance and
• 46:21
  Speaker 1: he fell over into the street. And as he fell
• 46:23
  Speaker 1: over into the street, truck came and ran him over,
• 46:25
  Speaker 1: like ran his head over. It was actually, it was
• 46:26
  Speaker 1: pretty pretty, uh pretty graphic. So that was my first
• 46:29
  Speaker 1: first Prussian with trauma, right when I was ten years old.
• 46:32
  Speaker 1: And I actually remember funny enough to to kind of
• 46:33
  Speaker 1: bring this back to what we were talking about earlier.
• 46:35
  Speaker 1: As I was sitting there as a ten year old
• 46:37
  Speaker 1: on the side of the road, like my best friend's
• 46:39
  Speaker 1: brains were basically spilled out into the street. At this point,
• 46:41
  Speaker 1: they had thrown tarp over it. Um they were like
• 46:43
  Speaker 1: trying to contact both of our parents. But I remember
• 46:45
  Speaker 1: I was sitting there like like the there's like a
• 46:47
  Speaker 1: crowd starting to gather from like the cold Desac because
• 46:49
  Speaker 1: it was like, you know, pretty close knit community, and
• 46:52
  Speaker 1: they all that come around me and they're like are
• 46:53
  Speaker 1: you okay? Are you okay? And I remember crying, and
• 46:55
  Speaker 1: I remember the only reason that I was crying because
• 46:57
  Speaker 1: it was because I felt like I was expected to
• 46:59
  Speaker 1: be crying. Like I felt like people thought they were
• 47:01
  Speaker 1: like Deans should be crying right now. So I was like,
• 47:03
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna cry, like I'm gonna make it. But then
• 47:05
  Speaker 1: I remember thinking to myself, I was like, there's nothing
• 47:08
  Speaker 1: I can do about this situation, so what's the point
• 47:10
  Speaker 1: of crying, you know what I mean? But I was
• 47:12
  Speaker 1: like performing, right I was like I was performative crying.
• 47:14
  Speaker 1: I was like, I think I'm supposed to be sad here,
• 47:17
  Speaker 1: so I'm gonna cry. And I was sad, of course,
• 47:18
  Speaker 1: but like I felt like I wasn't necessarily visually as
• 47:21
  Speaker 1: upset until I was like, oh, like I probably should
• 47:23
  Speaker 1: be crying right now, you know what I mean? Um,
• 47:25
  Speaker 1: how do you how do you process that? As a
• 47:28
  Speaker 1: ten year old? I don't think I ever really did,
• 47:30
  Speaker 1: to be perfectly honest, I remember my parents were super
• 47:32
  Speaker 1: like obviously they were there. My mom was like super supportive.
• 47:35
  Speaker 1: She was like I'll do like whatever I need to
• 47:37
  Speaker 1: do to make this better for you. Um. And then
• 47:40
  Speaker 1: they were like, we're gonna like set you up in therapy.
• 47:42
  Speaker 1: So I went to therapy a couple of times, but
• 47:44
  Speaker 1: I like hated it. Um. And so they I was like,
• 47:47
  Speaker 1: I asked him. I was like, I don't. I can't
• 47:48
  Speaker 1: do therapy anymore, Like pull me out of therapy. I
• 47:50
  Speaker 1: think it did like two sessions, um. And then it's
• 47:52
  Speaker 1: kind of like I just kind of buried it and
• 47:54
  Speaker 1: forgot about it for a long time. Uh, and like
• 47:56
  Speaker 1: I still don't really think about it often. Like you know,
• 47:58
  Speaker 1: I was ten years old, so my memory is like
• 48:00
  Speaker 1: super strong from those times. I remember who's my best friend,
• 48:03
  Speaker 1: and I remember like obviously the visual of it happening.
• 48:06
  Speaker 1: But what's funny is then that fast forward ten well,
• 48:10
  Speaker 1: I guess twelve years when I was twenty two, my
• 48:12
  Speaker 1: best friend overdosed. He was found dead in a bathtub. Uh,
• 48:16
  Speaker 1: the day that we were supposed to drive to Connecticut together.
• 48:19
  Speaker 1: And as an adult, like obviously I had maybe like
• 48:21
  Speaker 1: matured a little bit grown process my emotions more. That
• 48:25
  Speaker 1: death hit me a lot harder than I think even
• 48:28
  Speaker 1: like the death of my mother because I was just
• 48:30
  Speaker 1: like older and I just I guess uh felt things
• 48:33
  Speaker 1: more deeply, and so that one was pretty challenging. We
• 48:36
  Speaker 1: had like a like a like a wake or whatever.
• 48:39
  Speaker 1: We all got together to to like commemorate our friend Alex,
• 48:43
  Speaker 1: and I remember I like give I like went up
• 48:45
  Speaker 1: there to give a speech in front of like thirty
• 48:47
  Speaker 1: of our friends, and I like broke down and started
• 48:48
  Speaker 1: like crying, like uncontrollably, which is pretty uncommon for me,
• 48:52
  Speaker 1: especially as it pertains that kind of trauma. Like I
• 48:54
  Speaker 1: remember at Hunter's funeral, I was like running back up
• 48:58
  Speaker 1: and forth, like giving speeches about some great memories that
• 49:01
  Speaker 1: Hunter and I had together, and I was like smiling
• 49:03
  Speaker 1: and laughing and having fun with it because like I
• 49:05
  Speaker 1: was remembering the good times, right. But then with Alex,
• 49:07
  Speaker 1: like I wasn't able to do that, and I just
• 49:08
  Speaker 1: kind of like broke down and like couldn't even get
• 49:11
  Speaker 1: words that sort of thing. But with my mom it
• 49:13
  Speaker 1: was a little bit different, Like obviously, like my family
• 49:16
  Speaker 1: was super close with her, but we didn't have like
• 49:19
  Speaker 1: it wasn't like I was like giving speeches to my
• 49:22
  Speaker 1: like not speeches, but like talking to my friends about things.
• 49:24
  Speaker 1: It was kind of more just like me processing everything internally.
• 49:27
  Speaker 1: Um So, like the tath at ten with Hunter was hard,
• 49:31
  Speaker 1: but in the death that fifteen for my mom was
• 49:32
  Speaker 1: super harder than the death at twenty two for Alex
• 49:34
  Speaker 1: was like probably the hardest, at least on the surface,
• 49:37
  Speaker 1: like at least like emotionally. Obviously the death of my
• 49:40
  Speaker 1: mom was probably the most influential. But I don't know.
• 49:44
  Speaker 1: Death definitely has um a massive impact in all of
• 49:48
  Speaker 1: our lives, but especially yours. Um at three separate segments,
• 49:52
  Speaker 1: at three separate pivotal years of your life. It's weird
• 49:54
  Speaker 1: that it came at like very very different times, right,
• 49:58
  Speaker 1: I don't know how how was that effected you? I
• 50:01
  Speaker 1: don't know, I really think about it. I think it
• 50:05
  Speaker 1: Remember when I said earlier, like I think I struggle
• 50:07
  Speaker 1: with empathy because I just like, I know that I've
• 50:11
  Speaker 1: been through a lot of those bad things. And even
• 50:14
  Speaker 1: when I was, like I said, when I was ten
• 50:15
  Speaker 1: years old, I was sitting there, I was like, why
• 50:16
  Speaker 1: am I crying? There's no point for me to cry
• 50:17
  Speaker 1: because I can't change anything. So like when I see
• 50:19
  Speaker 1: something bad happen, or when something comes to me and
• 50:21
  Speaker 1: they're like, hey, this happened, and I'm really sad. I
• 50:23
  Speaker 1: can be like, Okay, well I can help you do this,
• 50:25
  Speaker 1: and I want to help you through this. UM, But
• 50:28
  Speaker 1: in the back of my head the entire time, I'm thinking, like,
• 50:30
  Speaker 1: just like get over it, because like it's done with
• 50:32
  Speaker 1: and the only thing that you can now control is
• 50:34
  Speaker 1: your reaction to it, and like your state of mind
• 50:37
  Speaker 1: and your well being moving forward. So there's no point
• 50:39
  Speaker 1: really dwelling on those negative things that happened in the past.
• 50:42
  Speaker 1: And I go back and forth onto whether or not
• 50:44
  Speaker 1: that's like a good thing or not. UM, like to
• 50:46
  Speaker 1: be able to like look back and cry, Like sometimes
• 50:49
  Speaker 1: I'll look back on my mom's passing and like cry
• 50:52
  Speaker 1: a little bit and just like be like I feel
• 50:55
  Speaker 1: good after like a nice cry, you know what I mean. UM,
• 50:58
  Speaker 1: But I think like overall, I don't try to let
• 51:00
  Speaker 1: it affect me too much. And like my advice for people,
• 51:03
  Speaker 1: as like callous as it might sound, is just to
• 51:05
  Speaker 1: be like, yeah, just like I think happier thoughts, you
• 51:09
  Speaker 1: know what I mean. No, I don't, UM, because I
• 51:15
  Speaker 1: don't think that's always an option, but it is. Though
• 51:18
  Speaker 1: that's kind of the point is like that's really the
• 51:21
  Speaker 1: only option is to deal with things like yeah you can, ah,
• 51:25
  Speaker 1: you can like dwell on it and like let it
• 51:27
  Speaker 1: affect you negatively for the longest time, but at the
• 51:29
  Speaker 1: end of the day, like that's just time wasted dealing
• 51:32
  Speaker 1: with this negative thoughts unless you're actually growing from the thoughts,
• 51:34
  Speaker 1: right unless you're actually like sitting down and processing things
• 51:37
  Speaker 1: and they're being like, Okay, like this sucked. Um, I'm
• 51:39
  Speaker 1: gonna remember like all the positive times and all the
• 51:41
  Speaker 1: good memories and try to like make them proud through
• 51:45
  Speaker 1: my life moving forward. But if you're like having consistent
• 51:47
  Speaker 1: negative thoughts about something like that, then the only thing
• 51:50
  Speaker 1: you really can do is be like, Okay, well, I'm
• 51:51
  Speaker 1: just gonna change it around and be positive about it,
• 51:53
  Speaker 1: you know what I mean. I would imagine what I'm
• 51:55
  Speaker 1: thinking through right now is though when you duly and
• 51:57
  Speaker 1: and I get Hunter put a huge roll in your life,
• 52:00
  Speaker 1: but you were ten and like life at tin is
• 52:03
  Speaker 1: is a lot about having fun and yeah it's pretty simple.
• 52:07
  Speaker 1: But as you lose your mother and then Alex, there's
• 52:10
  Speaker 1: huge pieces of your life that now are being taken
• 52:12
  Speaker 1: it's not so simple. And there there is a there's
• 52:15
  Speaker 1: a value that they held in your life that is
• 52:17
  Speaker 1: now gone. How do you how do you look at
• 52:22
  Speaker 1: the how do you replace those things? Do you replace them?
• 52:24
  Speaker 1: I don't think you replace them. I think that Uh.
• 52:26
  Speaker 1: Malcolm Gladwell obviously is a great author. I remember I
• 52:29
  Speaker 1: can't remember which book it was that he wrote. I
• 52:31
  Speaker 1: think it was Tipping Point perhaps, but he said something
• 52:34
  Speaker 1: along the lines of no child is aware of how
• 52:37
  Speaker 1: unique their situation is. And because every child thinks that
• 52:40
  Speaker 1: their childhood is exactly like everyone else's, you know what
• 52:42
  Speaker 1: it means. So like when I'm ten, I think, like
• 52:44
  Speaker 1: everyone else is going through the same stuff I'm going
• 52:45
  Speaker 1: through in my situation isn't unique. When I'm fifteen, I
• 52:48
  Speaker 1: think the same thing. I think, like my life is
• 52:50
  Speaker 1: just my life and it's not like wholely unique in
• 52:52
  Speaker 1: any sort of way. Um, but yeah, you're right. I
• 52:57
  Speaker 1: was obviously much more affected practically speaking, by the death
• 53:01
  Speaker 1: of my mom than I was by obviously Hunter or Alex.
• 53:05
  Speaker 1: I kind of like turned the world upside down in
• 53:07
  Speaker 1: a lot of ways. But but again I was just
• 53:08
  Speaker 1: like dealing with it, like you haven't really no choice
• 53:10
  Speaker 1: but to just put it all aside and figure it
• 53:12
  Speaker 1: out as you go, you know, yeah, and I and
• 53:15
  Speaker 1: I think though the those moments, though, dinare like the
• 53:21
  Speaker 1: ones that always feel like they they hit the hardest,
• 53:24
  Speaker 1: they're the hardest to process, but they're there the things
• 53:27
  Speaker 1: that connect us the most. So there's a lot of
• 53:29
  Speaker 1: people out there listening that have have obviously related with
• 53:31
  Speaker 1: you because of the deaths of friends or close family members,
• 53:36
  Speaker 1: and I think your story is one that they listened
• 53:38
  Speaker 1: to and and sit on. I would imagine anxiously going
• 53:42
  Speaker 1: how do you do it? Like, how do you continue
• 53:44
  Speaker 1: to move forward in the midst of great pain and
• 53:49
  Speaker 1: great sorrow? And to those people that are saying that
• 53:52
  Speaker 1: and looking at you, is that that figure to help
• 53:55
  Speaker 1: them respond? What would you say? Well, I just don't
• 53:58
  Speaker 1: think you really have much of another option. It's like,
• 54:00
  Speaker 1: if you're not moving forward, then you're standing still and
• 54:02
  Speaker 1: moving backwards. And it's like, well, do you want to
• 54:04
  Speaker 1: look back and be like, Okay, well I just wasted
• 54:06
  Speaker 1: all that time feeling sorry for myself, feeling sorry for
• 54:09
  Speaker 1: the people around me, feeling sorry for my situation. Or
• 54:11
  Speaker 1: did I use that time to figure it out and
• 54:13
  Speaker 1: kind of grow from it? And it's obviously it's easier
• 54:15
  Speaker 1: said than done. Um, they were like some pretty dark
• 54:19
  Speaker 1: times when I was like between fifteen and eighteen, I
• 54:21
  Speaker 1: like basically lived by myself, Like my dad kicks my
• 54:24
  Speaker 1: brothers out of the house, and then he was gone
• 54:25
  Speaker 1: all the time, either traveling for work or visiting his
• 54:27
  Speaker 1: I think his mom was sick in New Jersey other time. Um,
• 54:30
  Speaker 1: And so I spent a lot of time alone and
• 54:32
  Speaker 1: like a house made for six people, right, which is
• 54:34
  Speaker 1: just a weird it's a weird, eerie situation. Um, But
• 54:40
  Speaker 1: I never felt like, I don't know, it never felt
• 54:45
  Speaker 1: like a challenge, you know what I mean, because it
• 54:47
  Speaker 1: just felt it was just what was. And so that's
• 54:50
  Speaker 1: what I'm saying. I struggle with empathy where it's it's
• 54:52
  Speaker 1: like I can't really put myself in those shoes because
• 54:54
  Speaker 1: I just felt I've always felt like whatever you're given
• 54:56
  Speaker 1: is like the hand that you're supposed to be playing,
• 54:58
  Speaker 1: and because of that, like you just kind to find
• 55:00
  Speaker 1: a way to make that handle winning hand, you know
• 55:02
  Speaker 1: what I mean. Do you ever feel resentment then towards
• 55:05
  Speaker 1: to myself life? I mean, if if you're sitting there
• 55:08
  Speaker 1: and you look around, you go I've I mean, I
• 55:10
  Speaker 1: had a ten years old had to witness my best
• 55:12
  Speaker 1: friend get him on the set of Road. I've lost
• 55:15
  Speaker 1: my mother at a young age, and at twenty two,
• 55:16
  Speaker 1: I lost my best friend. I can move forward, but
• 55:19
  Speaker 1: what I would feel, and this maybe is just me,
• 55:23
  Speaker 1: is a resentment. I would still move forward, that can happen,
• 55:27
  Speaker 1: but I would carry on this this kind of like
• 55:30
  Speaker 1: chip on my shoulder saying this isn't fair. Um. I
• 55:33
  Speaker 1: think the death of my mom really really brought that
• 55:37
  Speaker 1: side out of me where I was like, this is
• 55:38
  Speaker 1: both like this doesn't make sense, this isn't fair. Um.
• 55:42
  Speaker 1: The Testical story was a big one too. I was like,
• 55:44
  Speaker 1: this doesn't make it, Like why me? Why me? Of
• 55:45
  Speaker 1: all people was I chosen? It's a funny story, but
• 55:47
  Speaker 1: like really did hurt, Like you know, yeah, Like emotionally,
• 55:51
  Speaker 1: I thought my life was like transformed in a negative
• 55:54
  Speaker 1: way forever, more so than because I was young, I
• 55:56
  Speaker 1: didn't know any better. Um, but with my mom too,
• 55:59
  Speaker 1: It's it's tough losing a mother or a parent, especially
• 56:04
  Speaker 1: obviously losing anyone is difficult. But like a lot of
• 56:06
  Speaker 1: my friends that I was like super super close with
• 56:08
  Speaker 1: in high school, like they all had families that were
• 56:11
  Speaker 1: like super tight and they were always super supportive there,
• 56:14
  Speaker 1: like if you ever need anything, like you can come
• 56:16
  Speaker 1: to us and ask for it. But that was I
• 56:18
  Speaker 1: think that's kind of a reason why I kind of
• 56:19
  Speaker 1: didn't really ever feel the need to share my story
• 56:22
  Speaker 1: post college or anything like that, like an adulthood was because, uh,
• 56:26
  Speaker 1: no one really understands until they experience it. And so
• 56:29
  Speaker 1: my friends, when I the people I was friends within college,
• 56:32
  Speaker 1: I'm sorry, in high school, they all had like very
• 56:35
  Speaker 1: well off families. Everyone was wealthy, everyone was happily married.
• 56:38
  Speaker 1: They didn't really deal with much adversity in their lives,
• 56:40
  Speaker 1: and so I did. I didn't feel comfortable sharing my
• 56:42
  Speaker 1: story with those people because they didn't they didn't get it,
• 56:45
  Speaker 1: you know what I mean. Um, And so I kind
• 56:48
  Speaker 1: of just swept it under the rug and and kind
• 56:50
  Speaker 1: of kept quiet about it for a long time until
• 56:53
  Speaker 1: obviously Bachelorrette when I shared it with However, many people
• 56:56
  Speaker 1: watched the Bachelorrette. Um, but yeah, and it wasn't is
• 57:00
  Speaker 1: the story of the your mom that was brought out.
• 57:04
  Speaker 1: There's this master's storyline that I know you don't like,
• 57:07
  Speaker 1: but but your dad was also highlighted then because there's
• 57:09
  Speaker 1: been this disconnect then that was at least portrayed during
• 57:14
  Speaker 1: the show there. Well, what's funny about the my old
• 57:17
  Speaker 1: Dad situation is it's like I've never really put myself
• 57:20
  Speaker 1: in his shoes. I've never really considered what it was
• 57:22
  Speaker 1: like to lose your wife at fifty years old. He's
• 57:26
  Speaker 1: never cooked a meal in his life for anyone, Like,
• 57:28
  Speaker 1: he's never had to take care of anyone. He just
• 57:29
  Speaker 1: made money and like funded our family for my mom
• 57:33
  Speaker 1: to take care of us. Right, So it's not like
• 57:34
  Speaker 1: he knew any better than to do what he did,
• 57:36
  Speaker 1: which was basically disconnected, and do what he thought was best,
• 57:39
  Speaker 1: and like he even asked him now he he doesn't
• 57:41
  Speaker 1: think he did anything wrong, and I think he really
• 57:43
  Speaker 1: believes that I didn't do anything wrong. But from my perspective,
• 57:45
  Speaker 1: he did everything wrong. But that doesn't make him. That
• 57:47
  Speaker 1: doesn't make what he did wrong. You know, he was
• 57:49
  Speaker 1: just dealing with it the only way that he really
• 57:50
  Speaker 1: knew how. And that's only something that I've kind of
• 57:52
  Speaker 1: come around on recently where it's like I can't really
• 57:54
  Speaker 1: blame the guy for for bailing out when I was
• 57:56
  Speaker 1: fifteen or whatever, because that was like his way of
• 58:00
  Speaker 1: dealing with his dramatic loss of his wife that he's
• 58:03
  Speaker 1: been married to for the past thirty years. Um sure,
• 58:07
  Speaker 1: I always kind of considered like the loss of my
• 58:08
  Speaker 1: mom to be like this weird everything obviously, but like
• 58:13
  Speaker 1: I always kind of wish that it brought our family
• 58:14
  Speaker 1: closer together rather than like it was kind of acting
• 58:16
  Speaker 1: like a bomb that like put us put us all
• 58:18
  Speaker 1: further apart um. And with my dad specifically, like he
• 58:22
  Speaker 1: him and I had this this weird h dynamic on
• 58:26
  Speaker 1: the show. And I remember being in high school and
• 58:29
  Speaker 1: going to school every day, and like I got in
• 58:30
  Speaker 1: trouble a lot. I was like always I was like
• 58:32
  Speaker 1: the one obviously responsible for getting myself to school, which
• 58:34
  Speaker 1: means I was late basically every single day, which means
• 58:36
  Speaker 1: I was in detention and in suspension, etcetera all the time.
• 58:40
  Speaker 1: I remember a couple of times the principle would pull
• 58:41
  Speaker 1: me aside and be like, what's the deal, Like should
• 58:43
  Speaker 1: we get your dad in here to like talk about this,
• 58:45
  Speaker 1: And I remember always being like, no, I hate my father.
• 58:47
  Speaker 1: I never want to be like him, don't even talk
• 58:49
  Speaker 1: to him, Like I don't even want to be part
• 58:51
  Speaker 1: of this conversation, UM, and I was just like so
• 58:54
  Speaker 1: vehemently like my dad sucks. I hate him so much.
• 58:56
  Speaker 1: I hate him so much. And eventually, like the principle
• 58:59
  Speaker 1: would be like okay, like I won't tell my I
• 59:01
  Speaker 1: won't tell your father. Eventually obviously they tell my father,
• 59:04
  Speaker 1: and it just like kind of continue to drive a
• 59:06
  Speaker 1: wedge between us. And there were like moments where we
• 59:08
  Speaker 1: were like put things aside bygones, be bygones, Like my
• 59:11
  Speaker 1: father drove me out to my university on to like
• 59:15
  Speaker 1: you know, what is it like visiting weekend where you
• 59:16
  Speaker 1: go check out and makeu you want to go to
• 59:17
  Speaker 1: school there. So like we like had salvage the relationship
• 59:21
  Speaker 1: like weirdly a couple of times, but ultimately ended up
• 59:24
  Speaker 1: falling back apart. I think I think it's just like
• 59:25
  Speaker 1: the Angler curse where we can't really stay communicative with
• 59:27
  Speaker 1: each other and we don't really stay in touch with people. Um,
• 59:31
  Speaker 1: and then through high school like or through I'm sorry,
• 59:33
  Speaker 1: through college, we weren't never really close and then uh,
• 59:38
  Speaker 1: we like when I moved to l A. I saw
• 59:40
  Speaker 1: him for a couple of days before I moved to
• 59:41
  Speaker 1: Los Angeles. Two years later, I go on the show,
• 59:43
  Speaker 1: and I didn't really talked to him since seeing him
• 59:46
  Speaker 1: on my way from Denver to l A like stopped
• 59:48
  Speaker 1: by for like a day and I hung out with him.
• 59:50
  Speaker 1: But then since then, like it was two and a
• 59:51
  Speaker 1: half years between that and going on The Bachelorette, hadn't
• 59:53
  Speaker 1: talked to him, hadn't seen him whatever. And I knew
• 59:56
  Speaker 1: going into that hometown that he was going to act
• 59:58
  Speaker 1: like everything was like hunky door, everything was like okay, um.
• 1:00:02
  Speaker 1: And I was like so deep in my own two
• 1:00:04
  Speaker 1: where I was like, you know what, I'm just gonna
• 1:00:05
  Speaker 1: call him out for it right now on national television,
• 1:00:08
  Speaker 1: which in hindsight probably wasn't the best idea, but I
• 1:00:11
  Speaker 1: was just like I didn't like that necessarily the facade
• 1:00:14
  Speaker 1: that was being put on that like we were like
• 1:00:15
  Speaker 1: a loving family that we all looked out for each
• 1:00:17
  Speaker 1: other and that we all like we're just super tighten it,
• 1:00:20
  Speaker 1: because we weren't. And then the second I saw him
• 1:00:22
  Speaker 1: like try to pretend that we were, I was like,
• 1:00:24
  Speaker 1: you know what, I'm just gonna like lean into this
• 1:00:26
  Speaker 1: and be like this is just isn't right. Um. And
• 1:00:29
  Speaker 1: so yeah, that that whole experience on the show what's
• 1:00:32
  Speaker 1: funny is like my dad loves the experience on the show,
• 1:00:34
  Speaker 1: you know, Like he he'll even be like, yeah, dude,
• 1:00:36
  Speaker 1: you were bole to me on the show, but it
• 1:00:39
  Speaker 1: was the best experience of my life. Why he he's
• 1:00:42
  Speaker 1: an narcissist, just like just like me, just like my
• 1:00:45
  Speaker 1: brother is just like my sister. He he loves the
• 1:00:47
  Speaker 1: attention that the show gave him for for however much
• 1:00:50
  Speaker 1: time it gave it to him, Um, good or bad.
• 1:00:53
  Speaker 1: Like he just like loved being in the spotlight quote
• 1:00:55
  Speaker 1: unquote for that short amount of time. Ah. I would
• 1:00:58
  Speaker 1: like to think that I don't reach that level of narcissism.
• 1:01:00
  Speaker 1: I hope I don't. But yeah, he's he's got a
• 1:01:04
  Speaker 1: funny mentality on it. And like we've obviously like prepared
• 1:01:07
  Speaker 1: our relationship to some extent between then and now, like
• 1:01:10
  Speaker 1: he helped me rebuild my van and build out the
• 1:01:13
  Speaker 1: living quarters of it a little bit. I like see
• 1:01:16
  Speaker 1: him maybe like one once or twice twice a year
• 1:01:20
  Speaker 1: to two or three times a year now. Um, and
• 1:01:22
  Speaker 1: there's not really any love loss. Like he's he's getting older,
• 1:01:26
  Speaker 1: and I know that at some point he's gonna die
• 1:01:30
  Speaker 1: before I die, hopefully, Like that's how it works. You
• 1:01:31
  Speaker 1: obviously want your kids to outlive your parents. Um, and
• 1:01:34
  Speaker 1: I I don't want to live with the regret of
• 1:01:36
  Speaker 1: not having a better relationship with my father after it's
• 1:01:39
  Speaker 1: no longer to be had. Like after I can't you know,
• 1:01:41
  Speaker 1: salvage anything. So uh, I go back and forth and
• 1:01:44
  Speaker 1: like I try to make it work. And you know,
• 1:01:46
  Speaker 1: obviously he lives his life. I live my life, and
• 1:01:48
  Speaker 1: whenever we get together, it's like him kind of catching
• 1:01:50
  Speaker 1: me up on all of his things and him talking
• 1:01:52
  Speaker 1: the whole time, and it's great and we like to
• 1:01:53
  Speaker 1: see each other. But then it's just like in a
• 1:01:55
  Speaker 1: reminder of like Okay, ye'll see again in six more
• 1:01:57
  Speaker 1: months or two more months or however long it is.
• 1:01:58
  Speaker 1: Just it's just like, you know, obviously people kind of
• 1:02:00
  Speaker 1: grew apart. I guess would there have been an option
• 1:02:03
  Speaker 1: to bring it, to bring the family together, like because
• 1:02:07
  Speaker 1: of the passing of your mom, was there ever a
• 1:02:10
  Speaker 1: pivotal point where it did kind of break the family apart? Um? Well,
• 1:02:15
  Speaker 1: I think that's just actual passing of it. So my
• 1:02:17
  Speaker 1: brothers and my father all but it heads constantly. My
• 1:02:20
  Speaker 1: dad was like an alcoholic for a long time. He's
• 1:02:22
  Speaker 1: since been sober for I think like ten years or
• 1:02:24
  Speaker 1: something like that, but for a long time he drank
• 1:02:26
  Speaker 1: a lot, and I think that like tensions were high
• 1:02:28
  Speaker 1: because you know, my brothers were like maybe like eighteen
• 1:02:30
  Speaker 1: to three or twenty four living in the house, and
• 1:02:33
  Speaker 1: my dad was like, you guys need to move out,
• 1:02:35
  Speaker 1: like get your own place, figure out, get your life
• 1:02:37
  Speaker 1: together sort of thing. Um, And that like kind of
• 1:02:40
  Speaker 1: created some tenacity between the three of them, more so
• 1:02:43
  Speaker 1: one of my brothers and the other. But uh, that
• 1:02:46
  Speaker 1: was kind of a challenging thing too, because it's like
• 1:02:49
  Speaker 1: one of my brothers was like my best friend and
• 1:02:50
  Speaker 1: like he you know, I like respected him a lot,
• 1:02:53
  Speaker 1: I liked him a lot, and then to see him
• 1:02:54
  Speaker 1: and my father getting such heated arguments to each other,
• 1:02:56
  Speaker 1: I was like, well, I love my brother and he's
• 1:02:58
  Speaker 1: like he's my role models and really and if he's
• 1:03:01
  Speaker 1: fighting my dad, then I should probably fight my dad too,
• 1:03:03
  Speaker 1: And like, you know, it's just kind of one of
• 1:03:04
  Speaker 1: those things where it's like a slippery slope or like
• 1:03:06
  Speaker 1: a snowball effect where things just kind of got progressively
• 1:03:08
  Speaker 1: worse for no one, and no one was at fault
• 1:03:12
  Speaker 1: for any of it, you know what I mean, They're
• 1:03:13
  Speaker 1: just one of those weird things. I hear all of this,
• 1:03:16
  Speaker 1: and one of the you know we we mentioned at
• 1:03:18
  Speaker 1: the beginning of the podcast, one of the criticisms that
• 1:03:20
  Speaker 1: you um that you get the most, that you're not
• 1:03:24
  Speaker 1: unfamiliar with is Dean's got to grow up. Yeah. You
• 1:03:27
  Speaker 1: know what's really interesting after I hear all this is
• 1:03:29
  Speaker 1: it made sense to me is you you grew up
• 1:03:30
  Speaker 1: at a really young age, and I wonder if you
• 1:03:33
  Speaker 1: met and there's no this is gonna be a weak statement,
• 1:03:37
  Speaker 1: but you mastered adulthood at such a young age that
• 1:03:40
  Speaker 1: now you can play around with it a little bit.
• 1:03:42
  Speaker 1: Uh may perhaps I like to think that I'm never
• 1:03:45
  Speaker 1: gonna grow up, though honestly, I guess I see. I
• 1:03:48
  Speaker 1: see your point. Like I had to grow up, support
• 1:03:50
  Speaker 1: myself whatever from fifteen until now. I had to grow
• 1:03:53
  Speaker 1: up maybe a little earlier. But also it's like I
• 1:03:55
  Speaker 1: don't ever really want to lose like that child like
• 1:03:57
  Speaker 1: spark that I think that we all kind of look
• 1:03:59
  Speaker 1: back and be like, thing, I wish I was like that,
• 1:04:01
  Speaker 1: But you built in the you built in the necessities
• 1:04:06
  Speaker 1: to at least making your life function at such a
• 1:04:08
  Speaker 1: young age that now you know them so clearly that
• 1:04:12
  Speaker 1: you like that, you may that you you you hold
• 1:04:15
  Speaker 1: you fight hard to hold onto that childlike spark because
• 1:04:17
  Speaker 1: a lot of your childhood was taken from you. I
• 1:04:20
  Speaker 1: can understand that makes sense, I will say one of
• 1:04:22
  Speaker 1: the metapsychologist. I don't. I'm not like diagnosing that. I'm
• 1:04:24
  Speaker 1: just saying I'm hearing this. I'm saying it ten years old.
• 1:04:26
  Speaker 1: If I had to put myself in a position of
• 1:04:29
  Speaker 1: seeing my friend get hit on the side of road
• 1:04:32
  Speaker 1: and then lose my mom a few years later, and
• 1:04:34
  Speaker 1: then at twenty two, kind of like I would say
• 1:04:37
  Speaker 1: my twenty early twenties were like late teens. Early twenties
• 1:04:40
  Speaker 1: were the years that like literally had If I would
• 1:04:43
  Speaker 1: have experienced pain during that time, like real pain, I
• 1:04:47
  Speaker 1: don't think I would have processed it, because it felt
• 1:04:49
  Speaker 1: like a year's almost wasted of just bliss in college
• 1:04:52
  Speaker 1: and euphoria. Like if those things happen to be like
• 1:04:56
  Speaker 1: they happened to you, and they dramatically changed your course
• 1:05:01
  Speaker 1: leading up to who we know today, how old are
• 1:05:03
  Speaker 1: you know you're not too far removed from those years,
• 1:05:10
  Speaker 1: I will say one of the one of the most
• 1:05:12
  Speaker 1: challenging things, well, not the most challenging things, but like
• 1:05:15
  Speaker 1: I said, I grew up with a lot of kids
• 1:05:18
  Speaker 1: who had like well to do families a basically like
• 1:05:22
  Speaker 1: security blankets, security nets, right, I guess I always kind
• 1:05:26
  Speaker 1: of looked around at them too and resented them in
• 1:05:28
  Speaker 1: a sense where I was like, look, if you fail
• 1:05:29
  Speaker 1: miserably at whatever you want to do, like reach for
• 1:05:32
  Speaker 1: the stars, you fail, you have them to lean on
• 1:05:35
  Speaker 1: or like, they'll support you, they'll put you up, they'll
• 1:05:37
  Speaker 1: like bring you back into their home and take care
• 1:05:38
  Speaker 1: of you. If I do that, I'm gonna be living
• 1:05:41
  Speaker 1: on the streets because I don't have anywhere to go
• 1:05:42
  Speaker 1: other than wherever I can put myself, you know what
• 1:05:44
  Speaker 1: I mean. And so for the longest time, I was
• 1:05:46
  Speaker 1: always like, I don't have I don't I don't have
• 1:05:48
  Speaker 1: a safety net. I don't have anything to do unless
• 1:05:51
  Speaker 1: I do it now and figure it out. And so
• 1:05:53
  Speaker 1: I think that's maybe kind of what you're getting at.
• 1:05:55
  Speaker 1: Where I was like, I was, everything was so on
• 1:05:58
  Speaker 1: me for the longest time, where now I guess I
• 1:05:59
  Speaker 1: have the relity to be like, Okay, I can kind
• 1:06:01
  Speaker 1: of do whatever I want, and so I'm gonna do that.
• 1:06:03
  Speaker 1: You know, I completely get it, and I've never thought
• 1:06:06
  Speaker 1: about that with you, Dean until now. I'm never half Um.
• 1:06:11
  Speaker 1: It's a good psychoanalysis. It's just it's the part of
• 1:06:15
  Speaker 1: this podcast that I enjoy the most because getting down
• 1:06:19
  Speaker 1: and hearing your story. UM. I don't know if it
• 1:06:22
  Speaker 1: allows me things to make sense, because afterwards, we're gonna
• 1:06:24
  Speaker 1: walk out of here and we're gonna still struggle, and
• 1:06:26
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna get upset with you because you do lack
• 1:06:28
  Speaker 1: in your communication now and then, and I don't hear
• 1:06:30
  Speaker 1: from you for days, um, which I still don't know why. Um.
• 1:06:34
  Speaker 1: I'm not gonna blame it on the Angler curse. But
• 1:06:36
  Speaker 1: that's the thing. I have no excuses for that type
• 1:06:38
  Speaker 1: of stuff now, so I would never be like, oh,
• 1:06:39
  Speaker 1: I'm this way because of I don't know genetics or
• 1:06:43
  Speaker 1: because of the traumatic experience that I had as a kid.
• 1:06:45
  Speaker 1: I have no excuse to not be communicative with you
• 1:06:47
  Speaker 1: other than you don't like me, ben Um. But all
• 1:06:52
  Speaker 1: of it makes sense, which is why this podcast means
• 1:06:55
  Speaker 1: so much for me. I'm glad I'm doing it with you, Uh, Dean.
• 1:06:57
  Speaker 1: I want to get into what led you to be
• 1:06:59
  Speaker 1: on The bachelorret but before we do, we're gonna take
• 1:07:02
  Speaker 1: a break. Before we come back with Dean. I'm gonna
• 1:07:13
  Speaker 1: take a second. At the end of the podcast, you're
• 1:07:14
  Speaker 1: gonna hear a segment with one of my buddies, Bob Dalton,
• 1:07:17
  Speaker 1: talking about sackcloth and ashes. Uh blanket company giving blankets
• 1:07:21
  Speaker 1: to um people without homes all across the US. UH.
• 1:07:25
  Speaker 1: Their partnership with my company generous. So make sure you
• 1:07:28
  Speaker 1: tune in and wait to the end of the podcast
• 1:07:31
  Speaker 1: conversation with myself and Bob Dalton. But until that conversation,
• 1:07:35
  Speaker 1: I am here with Dean Ungler, fan favorite from The
• 1:07:39
  Speaker 1: Bachelor at Bachelor in Paradise two times over and Bachelor
• 1:07:44
  Speaker 1: Winner Games. We've we've caught up with Dean so far,
• 1:07:47
  Speaker 1: but now we're getting into this stuff that listeners, you're
• 1:07:50
  Speaker 1: familiar with Dean. How do you end up on the show? Uh?
• 1:07:55
  Speaker 1: But how did you end up on the show? Why
• 1:07:58
  Speaker 1: do you turn this on me? I was signed up
• 1:08:00
  Speaker 1: through a friend and then I just went through it
• 1:08:02
  Speaker 1: with myself and I kept doing the process. After they
• 1:08:05
  Speaker 1: sent in my first like application, I just kept did
• 1:08:08
  Speaker 1: a video and I did all that stuff the normal way.
• 1:08:12
  Speaker 1: To do it. Um, well, I guess we can go
• 1:08:14
  Speaker 1: back to your season of the Bachelor. So we were
• 1:08:17
  Speaker 1: watching your season while we weren't watching I've never really
• 1:08:20
  Speaker 1: watched the Shop before going on it? Did you? Um?
• 1:08:22
  Speaker 1: Off and on? Yeah, my mom and I spent time
• 1:08:25
  Speaker 1: when I would be home. We loved watching it together.
• 1:08:28
  Speaker 1: But when I was away at like I wouldn't, it
• 1:08:30
  Speaker 1: was just like my thing with her, which is great.
• 1:08:32
  Speaker 1: That's a nice little tradition to have. So what one
• 1:08:35
  Speaker 1: of my best friends loved the show. It was always
• 1:08:39
  Speaker 1: kind of this thing that we ragged on him for.
• 1:08:41
  Speaker 1: He would watched it by himself. You know, he doesn't
• 1:08:44
  Speaker 1: like doing things alone, so sometimes he would like rope
• 1:08:45
  Speaker 1: and coaxes coaxes friends into watching it with him. I
• 1:08:50
  Speaker 1: remember one time he made me watch Caitlin Bristow's season.
• 1:08:53
  Speaker 1: Funny enough, I think it was with her one on Nick.
• 1:08:56
  Speaker 1: I hadn't watched it again. Um. He is the one
• 1:09:00
  Speaker 1: that I moved to Los Angeles with. So your season
• 1:09:03
  Speaker 1: was on and I remember he made me watch a
• 1:09:05
  Speaker 1: couple episodes of your season with you, and I was like, Wow, man,
• 1:09:07
  Speaker 1: that Kaylea Quinn girl. There's something about her that I
• 1:09:10
  Speaker 1: just like really adore and admire UM. And so I
• 1:09:15
  Speaker 1: was working one day downtown Los Angeles and my friends
• 1:09:18
  Speaker 1: were like, dude, there's a casting call and like Rancho
• 1:09:21
  Speaker 1: Cucamonga like an hour and a half away, and I
• 1:09:23
  Speaker 1: didn't have a car at the time, and I was like,
• 1:09:24
  Speaker 1: I think Kayla was like just maybe announced as the bachelorette.
• 1:09:28
  Speaker 1: And I was like I gotta go, like she's my girl.
• 1:09:31
  Speaker 1: I want to figure this out. Ended up obviously not going,
• 1:09:33
  Speaker 1: and then Judge got announce the next day anyway, so
• 1:09:34
  Speaker 1: it wasn't a big deal. UM put that to bed
• 1:09:38
  Speaker 1: for like a year or something like that. And then
• 1:09:40
  Speaker 1: a year later, like I'm at work again and that
• 1:09:43
  Speaker 1: same friend of mine calls me and he goes, Dean,
• 1:09:45
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna do something, and I want you to do
• 1:09:47
  Speaker 1: I wanted to follow through with it no matter what
• 1:09:49
  Speaker 1: it is, and what that something was was. He got
• 1:09:53
  Speaker 1: me on a phone call with Amy, the producer of
• 1:09:55
  Speaker 1: this podcast we had uh core so much, who has
• 1:09:58
  Speaker 1: a great relationship with this I was executive producer, and
• 1:10:01
  Speaker 1: so Amy and I talked on the phone for like
• 1:10:02
  Speaker 1: an hour and a half and she was like, I
• 1:10:04
  Speaker 1: love I love your story. I love everything about this.
• 1:10:06
  Speaker 1: Let's figure this out, let's try to get you on.
• 1:10:08
  Speaker 1: And then so the next day I received a call
• 1:10:10
  Speaker 1: from one another executive producer. Talked to her for like
• 1:10:13
  Speaker 1: an hour and a half, and she goes, oh my gosh,
• 1:10:14
  Speaker 1: like this, you're You're fantastic. Let's get you streamlined it.
• 1:10:17
  Speaker 1: This is like in February of the show films in March.
• 1:10:20
  Speaker 1: Um and I fortunately lived local in Los Angeles, and
• 1:10:23
  Speaker 1: so they're like coming into these uh, coming to the
• 1:10:26
  Speaker 1: office meet. Some of the producers will give you like
• 1:10:28
  Speaker 1: the psych test, we'll give you the physical, we'll give
• 1:10:31
  Speaker 1: you the background check. But we need to do it
• 1:10:33
  Speaker 1: as quickly as possible because the show starts filming in
• 1:10:36
  Speaker 1: like a couple of weeks. Um and I was at
• 1:10:38
  Speaker 1: a point in my life where I was single. My
• 1:10:40
  Speaker 1: girlfriend and I had broken up a few months prior.
• 1:10:42
  Speaker 1: We were still on like friendly terms, but obviously it
• 1:10:45
  Speaker 1: wasn't really gonna amount to anything. Um And so I
• 1:10:48
  Speaker 1: was like, you know what, why not? Like I don't
• 1:10:49
  Speaker 1: really think I'm gonna go on the show, don't. I don't.
• 1:10:51
  Speaker 1: I think they'll find a way to not want me
• 1:10:52
  Speaker 1: on the show. So I did everything the things started
• 1:10:56
  Speaker 1: like progressing, and they were like every time you get
• 1:10:57
  Speaker 1: two dollar step in the process, You're like, is this
• 1:10:59
  Speaker 1: for real? I don't I know. Um. Everything happened so
• 1:11:02
  Speaker 1: fast and so eventually they were like, yeah, we like
• 1:11:04
  Speaker 1: we want you. March thirteenth is your first day filming. Um.
• 1:11:07
  Speaker 1: And there's like March five when they told me this
• 1:11:09
  Speaker 1: or something like that, and I go like, are you
• 1:11:11
  Speaker 1: sure like me? Is this really like the real Bachelorette?
• 1:11:15
  Speaker 1: So it's all, like, it is very confusing, especially if
• 1:11:18
  Speaker 1: for someone that's like not like I don't watch the
• 1:11:20
  Speaker 1: show very often, but I knew about it. I watched
• 1:11:23
  Speaker 1: like a couple episodes of Jojo season the day before
• 1:11:25
  Speaker 1: going on to like kind of get an understanding for
• 1:11:27
  Speaker 1: it a little bit more. Uh. But if I just
• 1:11:29
  Speaker 1: like kind of did everything that they told me to do,
• 1:11:31
  Speaker 1: and every time I went in and talk to them,
• 1:11:33
  Speaker 1: they're like, yeah, you're great, we think you're fantastic. We
• 1:11:35
  Speaker 1: would love to have you on, And every time I
• 1:11:36
  Speaker 1: was like, really, are you sure like me? Um? And
• 1:11:40
  Speaker 1: then I went on and yeah, I think pretty pretty
• 1:11:43
  Speaker 1: public knowledge. I packed to be on the show for
• 1:11:44
  Speaker 1: like I expected to be gone night one back to
• 1:11:47
  Speaker 1: like a small duffel bag backpack. Uh, two suits, and
• 1:11:52
  Speaker 1: I just like I thought I was gonna go home.
• 1:11:54
  Speaker 1: I didn't tell any of my friends until like three
• 1:11:57
  Speaker 1: of my best friends obviously the one that nominated me, uh,
• 1:12:00
  Speaker 1: one of my roommates. And then like the day before
• 1:12:03
  Speaker 1: I left, were having like a barbecue and I told
• 1:12:06
  Speaker 1: my guy friends, was like, yeah, I'm going on the
• 1:12:07
  Speaker 1: Bachelorette tomorrow, and no one else knew. And then, funny enough,
• 1:12:11
  Speaker 1: actually the first day that I was on the Bachelorette
• 1:12:13
  Speaker 1: was the live show with Rachel and so like everyone
• 1:12:16
  Speaker 1: knew right away that I was on the show, but
• 1:12:19
  Speaker 1: I didn't have my phone for the next two and
• 1:12:20
  Speaker 1: a half months, so I couldn't like really talk to
• 1:12:21
  Speaker 1: anyone about it. But yeah, that's how it happened. My
• 1:12:23
  Speaker 1: friend just nominated me through Amy funny enough, and uh,
• 1:12:26
  Speaker 1: it turned into be a much bigger thing than I
• 1:12:28
  Speaker 1: ever expected it to be. Amy Sugman, who he's talking about,
• 1:12:30
  Speaker 1: who helped him also start his new career in podcasting
• 1:12:33
  Speaker 1: with the help I Suck at Dating podcast. Uh, So,
• 1:12:36
  Speaker 1: go to your um wherever you listen to I Heeart podcast, Spotify,
• 1:12:40
  Speaker 1: iHeart dot Com podcast, iTunes, I don't know, and and
• 1:12:44
  Speaker 1: that podcast help I Suck at Dating is fitting? Uh,
• 1:12:48
  Speaker 1: because of your time on the Bachelorette and Bachelor in Paradise,
• 1:12:52
  Speaker 1: your time on the Bachelotte, I would say we talked
• 1:12:54
  Speaker 1: a lot about kind of the pivotal moments of it.
• 1:12:57
  Speaker 1: Um your time with Rachel did end after hometowns um
• 1:13:00
  Speaker 1: any residual consequences good or bad from that season in
• 1:13:05
  Speaker 1: the Batcherette? Do you still have a relationship with Rachel Um? Well,
• 1:13:08
  Speaker 1: first and foremost, I was shocked. I got sent home
• 1:13:10
  Speaker 1: and I did I thought I was. I was like,
• 1:13:12
  Speaker 1: because I saw a couple of my good friends at
• 1:13:14
  Speaker 1: my hometown. They didn't air any of it, unfortunately, but
• 1:13:17
  Speaker 1: I gotta hang out with him after like the night
• 1:13:19
  Speaker 1: portion of my family a little bit. It was like
• 1:13:21
  Speaker 1: an emotional time, so like they like, let me I
• 1:13:22
  Speaker 1: have a couple of drinks with my friends, like decompress
• 1:13:25
  Speaker 1: and unlined a little bit, and I was like talking
• 1:13:28
  Speaker 1: to them, I was like, you, guys, I think she's
• 1:13:29
  Speaker 1: gonna choose me, Like I'm pretty sure I'm the one,
• 1:13:32
  Speaker 1: And they're like, wow, man, that's crazy. And like three
• 1:13:33
  Speaker 1: days later I texted them I was yeah, because I'm
• 1:13:35
  Speaker 1: not the one. Were you ready to get engaged Rachel? Um?
• 1:13:38
  Speaker 1: I think at the time I will. I don't know.
• 1:13:41
  Speaker 1: In hindsight, it's easy to say no that I wasn't
• 1:13:43
  Speaker 1: ready to get in good, but it's it's hard to
• 1:13:44
  Speaker 1: put myself back in that situation and say one way
• 1:13:47
  Speaker 1: or the other whether I was or not. Obviously Rachel
• 1:13:49
  Speaker 1: made the right choice. She's she's married to the level
• 1:13:51
  Speaker 1: life Brian. So it's weird even like put myself back
• 1:13:53
  Speaker 1: in that situation at all. Um, But do I have
• 1:13:57
  Speaker 1: a relationship with Rachel now? Not really like she obviously
• 1:13:59
  Speaker 1: leads her life and of my life. Um gee, yeah,
• 1:14:03
  Speaker 1: I don't know what was the next question that was it?
• 1:14:06
  Speaker 1: Do you still have any like any any residual things
• 1:14:09
  Speaker 1: fro the Bachelor? I mean, I feel like your time
• 1:14:10
  Speaker 1: of the Bachelotte ended, and it's really we know you
• 1:14:14
  Speaker 1: best through your time on Bachelor in Paradise, in Bachelor
• 1:14:16
  Speaker 1: Order game more well, more well defined and known for
• 1:14:19
  Speaker 1: my time in Bachelor Paradise. And I will say my
• 1:14:21
  Speaker 1: time on Bachelotte, I mean it went overarchingly incredibly well,
• 1:14:24
  Speaker 1: like I was with Peter Krauss. You know, a fan favorite.
• 1:14:27
  Speaker 1: There were really no negative things that were said about me,
• 1:14:29
  Speaker 1: which was like and all honestly a bad first impression.
• 1:14:33
  Speaker 1: Like it sucks that the first taste of like publicity
• 1:14:37
  Speaker 1: that I've ever experienced my life was so overwhelmingly positive,
• 1:14:40
  Speaker 1: because then that set me up to be so crushed
• 1:14:42
  Speaker 1: by any negative publicity that I would received later on,
• 1:14:44
  Speaker 1: which I obviously inevera believed did. Um. So my tagline
• 1:14:48
  Speaker 1: was the perfect bin you literally can't set yourself up
• 1:14:52
  Speaker 1: for I get it, any more failure than that. The
• 1:14:54
  Speaker 1: perfect band. Well, you are a perfect tense. I guess
• 1:14:56
  Speaker 1: that makes sense. I wonder what mine would have been,
• 1:14:58
  Speaker 1: you think, m hm, Because I didn't. I didn't live
• 1:15:02
  Speaker 1: a vent at the time. I was like a normal
• 1:15:03
  Speaker 1: guy at the time. I mean you had yeah you
• 1:15:06
  Speaker 1: still to this day you you have an aura and
• 1:15:09
  Speaker 1: a uniqueness about you that I think would have added
• 1:15:11
  Speaker 1: some great taglines. And even then, people like you you
• 1:15:13
  Speaker 1: have the movie star thing going for you. I don't
• 1:15:16
  Speaker 1: know what that means, but I appreciate it. I think
• 1:15:17
  Speaker 1: it's Yeah, it's a huge compliment. Yea imilia at least
• 1:15:20
  Speaker 1: minute as it so like they talked to me about
• 1:15:22
  Speaker 1: Bachelor for for a hot minute, Actually, would you've done it? Yes,
• 1:15:25
  Speaker 1: I said I would. I absolutely would never not like
• 1:15:28
  Speaker 1: refuse that opportunity. I think I talked to you actually
• 1:15:30
  Speaker 1: about a little bit, because we were talking about like
• 1:15:31
  Speaker 1: money and stuff like that, and I just wanted to
• 1:15:33
  Speaker 1: make sure I was getting a fair value for whatever
• 1:15:34
  Speaker 1: the role entailed. Um, And when I met with thee
• 1:15:40
  Speaker 1: I never met with like Flys or any of them,
• 1:15:42
  Speaker 1: but I met with like a couple of the executives
• 1:15:43
  Speaker 1: for like m z K, the production team that makes
• 1:15:47
  Speaker 1: The Bachelor, and I obviously met with the executive producers
• 1:15:50
  Speaker 1: of the show like a Lot and Bennett and all
• 1:15:51
  Speaker 1: kind of stuff. And I'm prettyure this is all fair
• 1:15:52
  Speaker 1: to share. I don't really see why it wouldn't be.
• 1:15:54
  Speaker 1: But we were talking and this is a post Bachelor
• 1:15:57
  Speaker 1: in Paradise filming pre airing, so they knew that things
• 1:16:00
  Speaker 1: weren't gonna go look good for me. Um, But they
• 1:16:03
  Speaker 1: they I think they sense that, like Peter, something wasn't
• 1:16:06
  Speaker 1: gonna happen with him. W Obviously you in nevatively fell through.
• 1:16:08
  Speaker 1: I don't know exactly why, but um, they were talking
• 1:16:12
  Speaker 1: to me about it and they were like, yeah, how
• 1:16:14
  Speaker 1: do you feel about this, And I was like, well,
• 1:16:15
  Speaker 1: I don't know if I believe in the institution of
• 1:16:17
  Speaker 1: marriage as much as I as you need me to.
• 1:16:20
  Speaker 1: I definitely don't believe in the idea of a diamond
• 1:16:21
  Speaker 1: engagement ring. Um. I don't want my family to be
• 1:16:24
  Speaker 1: a part of it at all, because I saw how
• 1:16:26
  Speaker 1: you guys like made it a big ordeal and I
• 1:16:29
  Speaker 1: know that they would like Dean and Dean's father meet
• 1:16:32
  Speaker 1: again sort of thing like that would have been a
• 1:16:34
  Speaker 1: central storyline. I didn't want that, um. And I said
• 1:16:37
  Speaker 1: all these things, like to the executive producers and like
• 1:16:39
  Speaker 1: the studio heads, and they were like, well, that's not
• 1:16:43
  Speaker 1: really what we want to hear. It just isn't gonna work.
• 1:16:45
  Speaker 1: You don't like what the concepts about. You're not into
• 1:16:48
  Speaker 1: the symbolic ring that is makes the show, and you
• 1:16:51
  Speaker 1: don't we don't. You don't want to be part of
• 1:16:53
  Speaker 1: the main storyline that we want you Yeah, yeah, not cool. Um.
• 1:16:56
  Speaker 1: But they're still like it's funny because they have a
• 1:16:58
  Speaker 1: good way of making you feel like you're still like
• 1:17:01
  Speaker 1: the guy, you know what I mean. Like they still
• 1:17:03
  Speaker 1: I still after leaving every meeting, I was still like, Wow,
• 1:17:05
  Speaker 1: that went really well, yeah, you don't doubt it. They
• 1:17:08
  Speaker 1: they have mastered the art of human They have to
• 1:17:14
  Speaker 1: direct communicate and get people to where they want. And honestly,
• 1:17:18
  Speaker 1: like I didn't want to be the Bachelor, but I
• 1:17:21
  Speaker 1: would never have said note to the opportunity, no you can't.
• 1:17:24
  Speaker 1: And I mean, you know, today, the Bachelor holds very
• 1:17:27
  Speaker 1: little role in my life. I mean I still get
• 1:17:30
  Speaker 1: asked about it every day and I still do a
• 1:17:33
  Speaker 1: podcast that is about the bat Like, so from the
• 1:17:35
  Speaker 1: outside looking in, it holds a tremendous role in my life.
• 1:17:39
  Speaker 1: For my day to day life, it holds very little. Right.
• 1:17:41
  Speaker 1: I have a girlfriend that is not at all associated
• 1:17:43
  Speaker 1: with it. She doesn't even know a lot about the show. Um.
• 1:17:46
  Speaker 1: I live in Denver that with with nobody that's from
• 1:17:49
  Speaker 1: the Bachelor around me, and I haven't gone to a
• 1:17:51
  Speaker 1: Bachelor event in years, Like they're I'm very disconnected at
• 1:17:54
  Speaker 1: this point. Um, But I don't regret a second of
• 1:17:59
  Speaker 1: it because of the people I've met working on the
• 1:18:03
  Speaker 1: show and outside of the show. And if I feel
• 1:18:07
  Speaker 1: like and for you too, and tell me if I'm wrong,
• 1:18:10
  Speaker 1: It's helped us live out our our biggest passions. Absolutely,
• 1:18:16
  Speaker 1: I'm incredibly grateful for the time that I had on
• 1:18:17
  Speaker 1: the show and the things that it's allowed me to
• 1:18:20
  Speaker 1: be able to do. I remember like being a kid
• 1:18:22
  Speaker 1: when I was in middle school, thinking things like, man,
• 1:18:25
  Speaker 1: one day, I just really want to skydive, or like
• 1:18:27
  Speaker 1: I want to scoop it, I want to learn how
• 1:18:28
  Speaker 1: to fly, or I want to travel to Egypt, like
• 1:18:30
  Speaker 1: all these things that I've always wanted to do since
• 1:18:31
  Speaker 1: the super young age, but I never had the ability
• 1:18:33
  Speaker 1: to because I was making forty dollars a year, working
• 1:18:36
  Speaker 1: fifty hours a week, living in Los Angeles, spending two
• 1:18:38
  Speaker 1: thousand dollars a month on rent. It's just like there
• 1:18:40
  Speaker 1: was no way to save money. And the Bachelor in
• 1:18:43
  Speaker 1: it's some weird like in a way that I initially
• 1:18:45
  Speaker 1: never expected it to gave me, like the time to
• 1:18:49
  Speaker 1: do things I gotta quit my job, the financial freedom
• 1:18:52
  Speaker 1: to do got the places I wanted to go, and
• 1:18:54
  Speaker 1: like the publicity you're notoriety to. I don't want to
• 1:18:58
  Speaker 1: say be given things like to be to have doors
• 1:19:01
  Speaker 1: open for you to go places that you never really
• 1:19:03
  Speaker 1: would expected to be able to go, You know what
• 1:19:04
  Speaker 1: I mean. I want to take a second here and
• 1:19:07
  Speaker 1: pause because I'm I'm sensing when we get to this
• 1:19:10
  Speaker 1: point in the podcast, Um, everything leading up to this,
• 1:19:16
  Speaker 1: this conversation about the Bachelor feels so good and real,
• 1:19:21
  Speaker 1: and then the Bachelor hits and almost like I feel
• 1:19:24
  Speaker 1: like it's it's a little bit weak, It's a little
• 1:19:25
  Speaker 1: bit more shallow than what I'd want to do with you.
• 1:19:28
  Speaker 1: But I think there is this and what we're talking
• 1:19:30
  Speaker 1: about here and like we're saying, is the Bachelor. Let's
• 1:19:33
  Speaker 1: legitimize a little bit. The Bachelor has played a huge
• 1:19:36
  Speaker 1: role in your life, like it or not, and it's
• 1:19:39
  Speaker 1: also allowed you to do and be a fuller version
• 1:19:42
  Speaker 1: than of yourself than you ever dreamed of. So it
• 1:19:45
  Speaker 1: is important for us to talk about The Bachelor because
• 1:19:47
  Speaker 1: these things have helped define you for now how many years?
• 1:19:50
  Speaker 1: How long has it been since you been on the
• 1:19:51
  Speaker 1: show and half I think two and a half years
• 1:19:53
  Speaker 1: of your life in your mid twenties. The Bachelor has
• 1:19:57
  Speaker 1: been a part of it. Leading up to this. After
• 1:19:59
  Speaker 1: Rachel SE's in The Bachelor, we found you in Bachelor
• 1:20:02
  Speaker 1: in Paradise, Bachelor in Paradise this time, Bachelor in Paradise
• 1:20:05
  Speaker 1: helped lead to uh, you now having the help I
• 1:20:08
  Speaker 1: Second Dating Podcast, And I want to know why, Dean,
• 1:20:11
  Speaker 1: your time on Bachelor Paradise was not great, not the
• 1:20:15
  Speaker 1: first time around, right, the first time around was hard. Um.
• 1:20:19
  Speaker 1: There was a lot of things that happened during that
• 1:20:21
  Speaker 1: that that season, um, that I think affected people's image
• 1:20:29
  Speaker 1: of you. And I don't believe it's at all why
• 1:20:31
  Speaker 1: they want you on this in depth episode, but I
• 1:20:33
  Speaker 1: want to. I think people want to know why. And
• 1:20:36
  Speaker 1: there's a thousand questions I could throughout you, like why
• 1:20:38
  Speaker 1: did you do it the way you did? And I
• 1:20:39
  Speaker 1: don't think that would that would be fair. I want
• 1:20:41
  Speaker 1: to know what was it about that season in Bachelor
• 1:20:44
  Speaker 1: in Paradise that you look back on and that you
• 1:20:46
  Speaker 1: either regret or that you're proud of, or why did
• 1:20:49
  Speaker 1: it go so wrong? Um? Yeah, I guess we can
• 1:20:53
  Speaker 1: kind of dive into that a little bit. So when
• 1:20:55
  Speaker 1: you're on the Bachelorrette, obviously you're not working, you're not
• 1:20:57
  Speaker 1: getting paid, but you still have your bills to pay back. Um.
• 1:21:00
  Speaker 1: And like I said earlier, I was making fort k
• 1:21:02
  Speaker 1: fort k a year, living in Los Angeles, a lot
• 1:21:05
  Speaker 1: of expenses, not a lot of income. I was flat
• 1:21:08
  Speaker 1: broke by the time I got off Bachelor atte, I
• 1:21:10
  Speaker 1: think I had like a hundred and forty dollars in
• 1:21:13
  Speaker 1: my bank account and all all of my banking I
• 1:21:15
  Speaker 1: had us checking in and saving account a hundred four
• 1:21:17
  Speaker 1: dollars across to my name, basically didn't own a car,
• 1:21:19
  Speaker 1: didn't own anything. Um, it's just a weird spot to
• 1:21:22
  Speaker 1: be in, Like you're basically starting at zero. And like
• 1:21:24
  Speaker 1: I said earlier, like I don't have a safety net
• 1:21:26
  Speaker 1: or anything like that. So it's like if I hit
• 1:21:28
  Speaker 1: zero in my bank account and I am basically on
• 1:21:31
  Speaker 1: the streets, right, I'm sure I could like find a
• 1:21:33
  Speaker 1: friend to bring me into their house too, let me
• 1:21:35
  Speaker 1: like couch sur for a little bit. But I don't
• 1:21:36
  Speaker 1: want to do that. No one wants to do that. Um.
• 1:21:39
  Speaker 1: And so I was off the show and let's see
• 1:21:43
  Speaker 1: end of May and Paradise. He no, I'm sorry. End
• 1:21:46
  Speaker 1: of the beginning of May. Paradise began filming end of May,
• 1:21:51
  Speaker 1: beginning of June. I don't know about those days. There's
• 1:21:53
  Speaker 1: it's something like that. That's off the show for a month,
• 1:21:55
  Speaker 1: three to four weeks between Bachelorette filming and Bachelor and
• 1:21:58
  Speaker 1: Paradise filming, and I to make a decision um go
• 1:22:02
  Speaker 1: back to work for three weeks and then leave again
• 1:22:06
  Speaker 1: to potentially go to Bachelom Paradise or two. I guess
• 1:22:11
  Speaker 1: I didn't really know what the decision was between. But
• 1:22:14
  Speaker 1: I had to borrow money for my brother. I borrowed
• 1:22:15
  Speaker 1: a couple hundred dollars tied me over. But the decision
• 1:22:18
  Speaker 1: to go to Paradise, and this might sound messed up,
• 1:22:20
  Speaker 1: it was entirely financial. They were like, we're gonna offer
• 1:22:23
  Speaker 1: you this much money to come onto a TV show
• 1:22:26
  Speaker 1: where we're gonna feed you, give you drinks, in a
• 1:22:28
  Speaker 1: place to sleep for however long you're here. And I
• 1:22:30
  Speaker 1: was like, if I'm on that show for three days,
• 1:22:32
  Speaker 1: I have more money in my bank acoun than I've
• 1:22:33
  Speaker 1: ever had in my entire life. Absolutely signed me up,
• 1:22:35
  Speaker 1: and I remember talking to my friends before I left.
• 1:22:37
  Speaker 1: I was like, yeah, like I might make a thousand,
• 1:22:40
  Speaker 1: two thousand dollars on this show and then go, You're
• 1:22:42
  Speaker 1: gonna have two thousand dollars in your bank account. That's crazy?
• 1:22:44
  Speaker 1: How I know? That's insane. So the motive to go
• 1:22:48
  Speaker 1: on Bachelom Paradise, and again it might sound messed up,
• 1:22:50
  Speaker 1: was entirely financial because I needed to find a way
• 1:22:52
  Speaker 1: to like obviously support myself there after. And this was
• 1:22:55
  Speaker 1: before Bachelor already even aired, before I had even ever
• 1:22:58
  Speaker 1: known that song as things on Instagram WI the thing,
• 1:23:01
  Speaker 1: and the I had entirely processed my relationship with Rachel.
• 1:23:06
  Speaker 1: There was no hindrance going into Bachelo in Paradise that
• 1:23:09
  Speaker 1: anything that was holding on too from that first yew Bachelorette, right,
• 1:23:12
  Speaker 1: I just didn't know what was gonna happen again. I
• 1:23:14
  Speaker 1: thought I would go into Bachelo in Paradise, not kiss
• 1:23:16
  Speaker 1: a single person, not have anyone interested in me, uh,
• 1:23:19
  Speaker 1: and then leave after a couple of days exactly how
• 1:23:21
  Speaker 1: I ended up going into Bachelorette and I'll go into
• 1:23:24
  Speaker 1: Paradise hit it off with Christina. Christina is a beautiful
• 1:23:27
  Speaker 1: girl at the time, the most like beautiful girl I've
• 1:23:31
  Speaker 1: ever seen in my entire life, you know, like I
• 1:23:33
  Speaker 1: still haven't really had a taste of anything that kind
• 1:23:35
  Speaker 1: of comes after the fact. So I was like head
• 1:23:37
  Speaker 1: over heels for this girl solely just because she was
• 1:23:39
  Speaker 1: so pretty. Um and we had both were able to
• 1:23:41
  Speaker 1: like bond over our traumatic past and like these these
• 1:23:44
  Speaker 1: challenging things that we had to go through as children. Um.
• 1:23:47
  Speaker 1: And then the shutdown happened, and instead of flying from
• 1:23:51
  Speaker 1: Mexico to Los Angeles, where I lived at the time,
• 1:23:54
  Speaker 1: I decided to fly to Los Angeles to Kentucky where
• 1:23:56
  Speaker 1: Christina lived. And I was just like, yeah, I liked
• 1:23:58
  Speaker 1: this girl. Let's see, I hadn't known her for three
• 1:23:59
  Speaker 1: or four days at the time. Let's se if we
• 1:24:01
  Speaker 1: can like hang out and see if anything goes anywhere. Um.
• 1:24:03
  Speaker 1: So we fly back to Kentucky, spend a couple of
• 1:24:06
  Speaker 1: days there, Like, I'm head over heels, like obsessed with
• 1:24:08
  Speaker 1: this girl. I might calling my best friends. I was like,
• 1:24:10
  Speaker 1: I met the best girl, like the greatest girl in
• 1:24:12
  Speaker 1: the world. Um, and she was she is She wasn't
• 1:24:15
  Speaker 1: is great, She's a great person. Obviously things fell apart
• 1:24:17
  Speaker 1: later on, but I remember we then decided to drive
• 1:24:19
  Speaker 1: to Chicago. From Lexington to Chicago. It's like a six
• 1:24:21
  Speaker 1: hour drive to meet up with a couple of our
• 1:24:23
  Speaker 1: friends who lived in Chicago who wanted to go out
• 1:24:26
  Speaker 1: and party with. So, like, we drove up there, We
• 1:24:28
  Speaker 1: met up with them, partied a little bit. Things got
• 1:24:30
  Speaker 1: a little tense between me and Christina, Like we went
• 1:24:32
  Speaker 1: out for the first time to like a club together
• 1:24:34
  Speaker 1: and we started like it was like our first taste
• 1:24:36
  Speaker 1: of like our incompatibility whatever. Um, and so I left that.
• 1:24:42
  Speaker 1: We left that to get she had to drive back
• 1:24:43
  Speaker 1: to Lexington, but I flew to Denver to meet up
• 1:24:45
  Speaker 1: with my friend to drive back to like kind of
• 1:24:47
  Speaker 1: a long story, weird story, but even to get from
• 1:24:49
  Speaker 1: Chicago to Denver, I like had to call my friend Iggy.
• 1:24:52
  Speaker 1: I was like, hey, can I borrow eighty bucks to
• 1:24:53
  Speaker 1: get this flight from Chicago to Denver? Because that's how
• 1:24:56
  Speaker 1: broke I was. And I think that drove a lot
• 1:24:59
  Speaker 1: of insecurity in me as well, because it's like it's
• 1:25:01
  Speaker 1: hard to it's hard to consider yourself like a a
• 1:25:04
  Speaker 1: viable partner when you don't really have much money, enough
• 1:25:07
  Speaker 1: money to support yourself, you know what I mean. So
• 1:25:09
  Speaker 1: I think that that drove a lot of insecurity through me. Uh.
• 1:25:11
  Speaker 1: And then on my way back from Denver to Los
• 1:25:13
  Speaker 1: Angeles with my with my buddy, I got the call
• 1:25:16
  Speaker 1: saying that Bachelor and Paradise were to kick back up
• 1:25:20
  Speaker 1: and we would like go back and resume filming in
• 1:25:22
  Speaker 1: a couple of days. And again I was like, great,
• 1:25:24
  Speaker 1: Like I can, I was gonna make like three or three,
• 1:25:27
  Speaker 1: like two or three thousand dollars, and I can go
• 1:25:28
  Speaker 1: back and make even more than that, which is fantastic. Um.
• 1:25:32
  Speaker 1: And like, things with Christine and I were going fine,
• 1:25:34
  Speaker 1: but there was this weird like after that night in Chicago,
• 1:25:36
  Speaker 1: things didn't really go well and like something just didn't
• 1:25:39
  Speaker 1: sit right and I just didn't didn't really feel like
• 1:25:41
  Speaker 1: a long term thing. Um. And again I think that
• 1:25:43
  Speaker 1: it just semmed from a lot of insecurities that I
• 1:25:45
  Speaker 1: possessed at the time, and like uncertainty of what the
• 1:25:48
  Speaker 1: future held. So you go back to Paradise, and I
• 1:25:52
  Speaker 1: guess even before going to Paradise the first time, obviously
• 1:25:56
  Speaker 1: I told the producers I was like super interested in
• 1:25:57
  Speaker 1: me Danielle, and they obviously knew that, and they decided
• 1:26:02
  Speaker 1: to send her in. Right after that, the shutdown stopped
• 1:26:05
  Speaker 1: and the show resumed. And this is the girl that
• 1:26:08
  Speaker 1: I like held so highly in my eyes. I was
• 1:26:12
  Speaker 1: like super attracted to her. She seemed like a really
• 1:26:13
  Speaker 1: interesting person. And then obviously we met on the show
• 1:26:16
  Speaker 1: and I was like, Wow, this beautiful girl is like
• 1:26:19
  Speaker 1: super into me in the weirdest way. But she like
• 1:26:21
  Speaker 1: she expressed interest in me, but she still like pulled
• 1:26:23
  Speaker 1: away a lot. UM, and I like for something like
• 1:26:26
  Speaker 1: something about the chase, like really like ignited to spark
• 1:26:28
  Speaker 1: and interest in me. Um. And then meanwhile, Christina obviously
• 1:26:32
  Speaker 1: and I had this sistery together because we had just
• 1:26:33
  Speaker 1: spent a couple of days in Kentucky together in Chicago, UM,
• 1:26:36
  Speaker 1: and we had known each other for like a week
• 1:26:38
  Speaker 1: or a couple of weeks at that point. And I
• 1:26:41
  Speaker 1: don't know, I think that I think that if I
• 1:26:43
  Speaker 1: could go back into it differently, I don't know if
• 1:26:45
  Speaker 1: I would. It's hard to say. Obviously I would, I would,
• 1:26:47
  Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't think I was ready to
• 1:26:50
  Speaker 1: be in a relationship at the time. I guess, really
• 1:26:51
  Speaker 1: is what it boils down to. I shouldn't gone a
• 1:26:53
  Speaker 1: bachelor in Paradise because I didn't want to be in
• 1:26:55
  Speaker 1: a relationship, like the fact that it was a financial
• 1:26:57
  Speaker 1: move for me, rather than like I want to find
• 1:26:59
  Speaker 1: some one moved for me. I think really kind of
• 1:27:02
  Speaker 1: with me a lot. Sorry the language, uh, And that's
• 1:27:05
  Speaker 1: kind of how I've always been in Los Angeles too,
• 1:27:07
  Speaker 1: Like I would never go on dates with the intent
• 1:27:09
  Speaker 1: to have a girlfriend, you know, Like before I went
• 1:27:10
  Speaker 1: on the TV show, I would never go on dates
• 1:27:11
  Speaker 1: to like they're like, oh, I wonder if this girl's
• 1:27:13
  Speaker 1: like a suitable partner for me, you know what I mean. Um,
• 1:27:17
  Speaker 1: So I've always kind of sucked at dating in that sense,
• 1:27:19
  Speaker 1: and then to just go on the show and have
• 1:27:21
  Speaker 1: it like kind of be nationally televised, it was it
• 1:27:24
  Speaker 1: was a long time coming, right, Like even throughout Bachelorette,
• 1:27:27
  Speaker 1: I would get text from like X's or girls that
• 1:27:29
  Speaker 1: I went on dates with, uh not girls I want
• 1:27:32
  Speaker 1: to dates with, but like a girl I dated. And
• 1:27:35
  Speaker 1: then even like my ex girlfriend, they're like, Wow, you're
• 1:27:38
  Speaker 1: getting a lot of positive attention and like that's not
• 1:27:41
  Speaker 1: really right, um because I just like in a in
• 1:27:46
  Speaker 1: a real world setting, I'm not that's like focused on
• 1:27:50
  Speaker 1: one person, you know what I mean. And that's and
• 1:27:52
  Speaker 1: and is do you believe that is the reason that
• 1:27:54
  Speaker 1: you suck at dating? Is because it's hard for you
• 1:27:56
  Speaker 1: to focus on one person. It's hard for me to
• 1:27:59
  Speaker 1: actually then it's I'm getting better at this, but it's
• 1:28:01
  Speaker 1: hard for me to. I enjoy the good times obviously,
• 1:28:05
  Speaker 1: but it's hard for me to like want to like
• 1:28:06
  Speaker 1: stick around through the bad times. Like if you get
• 1:28:08
  Speaker 1: an argument, I'm all right, well, if we're getting an
• 1:28:09
  Speaker 1: arguments right now, like, there's no reason to stick around.
• 1:28:11
  Speaker 1: I don't see the value in it, you know what
• 1:28:12
  Speaker 1: I mean. That's something I'm working on, and I think
• 1:28:16
  Speaker 1: I've actually gone a lot from both the show, the
• 1:28:19
  Speaker 1: podcasts and just life in general. Um But at the time,
• 1:28:21
  Speaker 1: I was like, any any whiff of trouble, I'm out,
• 1:28:24
  Speaker 1: you know, like there's no point in sticking around and something.
• 1:28:26
  Speaker 1: It's difficult, what's the point of it? Um? So yeah,
• 1:28:30
  Speaker 1: So it was basically me like Para actually in Paradise
• 1:28:34
  Speaker 1: was a more accurate representation of who I was at
• 1:28:36
  Speaker 1: the time than Bachelorrette for me, you know what I mean.
• 1:28:38
  Speaker 1: And so it was hard, Like I said earlier, it
• 1:28:40
  Speaker 1: was hard to go from that uh pedestal of like
• 1:28:43
  Speaker 1: very well liked contestant to them like very heavily criticized
• 1:28:47
  Speaker 1: contestant and rightfully so like I should have been criticized.
• 1:28:50
  Speaker 1: I think I could have handled things obviously much better.
• 1:28:53
  Speaker 1: Um But but yeah, that was that was a challenging time.
• 1:28:58
  Speaker 1: And I think a lot of it too, was like
• 1:28:59
  Speaker 1: it was just everything was so new, like I had
• 1:29:01
  Speaker 1: never really had like an open bar to drink as
• 1:29:04
  Speaker 1: much as I could possibly drink. I never had this
• 1:29:06
  Speaker 1: much attention from two women that were just like way
• 1:29:09
  Speaker 1: too attractive to be talking to me, you know what
• 1:29:11
  Speaker 1: I mean. Um, And I think I was just kind
• 1:29:13
  Speaker 1: of like a weird in a weird like a kid
• 1:29:15
  Speaker 1: in a candy store. So I just didn't really have it.
• 1:29:17
  Speaker 1: Like the paradox of choice is just kind of overwhelming me. Um.
• 1:29:21
  Speaker 1: And yeah, that that whole saga was like pretty taxing
• 1:29:23
  Speaker 1: on me mentally, um and obviously on the two girls
• 1:29:27
  Speaker 1: as well. But so even though all this stuff that's
• 1:29:30
  Speaker 1: happening you could watch and say, yeah, this is true,
• 1:29:32
  Speaker 1: this is happening, this is just my own issues, it
• 1:29:36
  Speaker 1: was still taxing on you mentally. Oh, I was like
• 1:29:38
  Speaker 1: super depressed throughout the whole process and walks my girlfriend. Um,
• 1:29:45
  Speaker 1: there was a there was a lot of like depression
• 1:29:47
  Speaker 1: and anxiety and stress that were going through my head
• 1:29:48
  Speaker 1: with all that all that was airing. But again, it
• 1:29:50
  Speaker 1: was like it wasn't like unjust like it's not that
• 1:29:53
  Speaker 1: I shouldn't have been receiving that it was it was
• 1:29:56
  Speaker 1: me because I was just acting uh wrongly. I think
• 1:30:01
  Speaker 1: a lot of it too, was like I said, I
• 1:30:02
  Speaker 1: was like, I would get really drunk when I was
• 1:30:04
  Speaker 1: on the show, and I think, in hindsight, like if
• 1:30:06
  Speaker 1: I could go back, I would just not drink because
• 1:30:08
  Speaker 1: I would make a lot more conscious decisions, just better decisions. Um.
• 1:30:11
  Speaker 1: Even now, Like I like, when I was twenty six,
• 1:30:14
  Speaker 1: I was like partying a lot a lot. Now I
• 1:30:16
  Speaker 1: don't really go out ever, you know. And we went
• 1:30:18
  Speaker 1: to the party the other day and I was like
• 1:30:19
  Speaker 1: the first time we got really party together Kalen and I. Um,
• 1:30:23
  Speaker 1: and four or five months of dating, which I think
• 1:30:25
  Speaker 1: is great, but well, like watching that stuff back, I
• 1:30:28
  Speaker 1: was like, I was like, yes, this is me who
• 1:30:31
  Speaker 1: I This is like who I am now in this
• 1:30:33
  Speaker 1: moment of life or whatever in this in this snapshot
• 1:30:36
  Speaker 1: of life. And it's just like it wasn't very obviously
• 1:30:39
  Speaker 1: the best version of myself, you know. That's That's one
• 1:30:43
  Speaker 1: thing that I don't think we've seen out of you
• 1:30:45
  Speaker 1: through television, is you upset. And I think that's the
• 1:30:50
  Speaker 1: one thing that people probably like I want to ring
• 1:30:53
  Speaker 1: your next sometimes and be like you're you aren't showing
• 1:30:55
  Speaker 1: any emotion here. Um, There's been moments, but it's quickly
• 1:31:00
  Speaker 1: moved on. From and I think to hear that this
• 1:31:03
  Speaker 1: really hurt you or affected you or allowed you to
• 1:31:06
  Speaker 1: look inward, I think, I don't know, there's a there's
• 1:31:09
  Speaker 1: a it's it encourages me as a friend maybe, but
• 1:31:15
  Speaker 1: also it hurts because I know that it was just
• 1:31:18
  Speaker 1: I mean, that season of life is so confusing because
• 1:31:21
  Speaker 1: there's a thousand things coming at you. You're dating people
• 1:31:23
  Speaker 1: that you never imagine that you'd be dating in your life, right,
• 1:31:26
  Speaker 1: I mean, you're you're batting way out of your league
• 1:31:29
  Speaker 1: every time you talk to a woman in Paradise or
• 1:31:31
  Speaker 1: on the show, and then when it comes back and
• 1:31:34
  Speaker 1: it feels like you're alone in it and everybody's criticizing
• 1:31:37
  Speaker 1: you it, it does get depressing. And and to know
• 1:31:42
  Speaker 1: that that's how it affected you opens my eyes to
• 1:31:45
  Speaker 1: something I've never seen. Yeah, it's it's hard to kind
• 1:31:48
  Speaker 1: of put myself back in that situation too, because there's
• 1:31:50
  Speaker 1: so it was challenging. And I think that the people
• 1:31:54
  Speaker 1: that I was surrounded by, like the people from the
• 1:31:56
  Speaker 1: show specifically, I had I hadn't really had the chance
• 1:32:00
  Speaker 1: get to know a lot of people from the show,
• 1:32:01
  Speaker 1: like Super Well, like I've gotten to know you over
• 1:32:03
  Speaker 1: the past two and a half years. Um, I don't.
• 1:32:09
  Speaker 1: I mean, I don't really know how to say this,
• 1:32:11
  Speaker 1: but like, I like because I continue to date Christina
• 1:32:16
  Speaker 1: after Bachelor in Paradise, Right, I did a deal for
• 1:32:18
  Speaker 1: like a short amount of time after the Paradise um,
• 1:32:21
  Speaker 1: but then I called that off because I still have
• 1:32:23
  Speaker 1: feelings for Christina. The reason I called Christina off the
• 1:32:25
  Speaker 1: first time was because I like didn't like a lot
• 1:32:28
  Speaker 1: of the things that I had heard from other people.
• 1:32:30
  Speaker 1: But then I realized that I shouldn't be upset by
• 1:32:32
  Speaker 1: those things, and so, um, it was just like this
• 1:32:36
  Speaker 1: weird bit of confusion that I was constantly but throughout
• 1:32:39
  Speaker 1: Paradise airing. And I don't want to like put Christine
• 1:32:43
  Speaker 1: on the spot or anything like this, but like there
• 1:32:45
  Speaker 1: was just no support from this person that I was
• 1:32:47
  Speaker 1: like trying to invest into and like supposedly cared about me.
• 1:32:51
  Speaker 1: There was no support from her at any moment throughout
• 1:32:53
  Speaker 1: those times, maybe like maybe glimpses and very privately, but publicly,
• 1:32:57
  Speaker 1: she was like very critical of me because I don't
• 1:33:00
  Speaker 1: know exactly why she wanted to play that role I suppose, um,
• 1:33:04
  Speaker 1: and that really took a big toll on me, as well,
• 1:33:07
  Speaker 1: where I was like going through this really challenging time
• 1:33:09
  Speaker 1: publicly and and and and openly, but then I wasn't
• 1:33:14
  Speaker 1: really receiving much support on the back end or like
• 1:33:15
  Speaker 1: the behind closed doors. Um, And so that was like
• 1:33:18
  Speaker 1: a super I don't know, it was just a really
• 1:33:21
  Speaker 1: weird time in my life where I like I thought
• 1:33:22
  Speaker 1: that things were supposed to be this way with this person,
• 1:33:27
  Speaker 1: and like I was like trying to convince myself consistently
• 1:33:29
  Speaker 1: that like what was happening was normal and it was okay,
• 1:33:32
  Speaker 1: and it was like easy to look past. But then
• 1:33:34
  Speaker 1: like the longer, like the more time we're on, I
• 1:33:36
  Speaker 1: just began to realize that wasn't normal and it wasn't
• 1:33:39
  Speaker 1: like right, it wasn't okay right. So it leads you
• 1:33:43
  Speaker 1: to where you're at now. We we had a stint
• 1:33:44
  Speaker 1: on Bachelor Winter Games. Um, you did walk away from
• 1:33:47
  Speaker 1: Bachelor with Games in a relationship with Leslie we publicly
• 1:33:51
  Speaker 1: Actually I was able to be with you and Hunters
• 1:33:54
  Speaker 1: um at one point. Um, that's ended, and it leads
• 1:33:57
  Speaker 1: you up to this paradise this season, um, which was
• 1:34:01
  Speaker 1: another shocking twist for Dean Angler. Um. But here's where,
• 1:34:07
  Speaker 1: here's where I want to sit at for one second.
• 1:34:09
  Speaker 1: Is all these things that we've talked about leading up
• 1:34:12
  Speaker 1: to this point have helped me understand you better as
• 1:34:15
  Speaker 1: a friend, and this season on Paradise helped me understand
• 1:34:19
  Speaker 1: you better because yes, from a viewer's perspective, it was
• 1:34:21
  Speaker 1: entertaining you going down there. Uh, your relationship with Kalen,
• 1:34:26
  Speaker 1: you leaving the pain that that cause, and going Dean,
• 1:34:30
  Speaker 1: You've done it again. Bring on the criticism, Bring on
• 1:34:34
  Speaker 1: the critics. The charming man is deceitful, because charm is deceitful.
• 1:34:40
  Speaker 1: But the man I knew was missing there and you
• 1:34:43
  Speaker 1: came back and you're dating here today. Um, through the
• 1:34:50
  Speaker 1: years and years that you've been on the show and
• 1:34:52
  Speaker 1: now your second time on Paradise in a time and
• 1:34:53
  Speaker 1: winter game and you're time about Sorry, why did you
• 1:34:56
  Speaker 1: want to come back for calin? Uh? Why did I
• 1:35:02
  Speaker 1: want to come back? What did you learn through those
• 1:35:05
  Speaker 1: things about the relationships that have failed, the people that
• 1:35:08
  Speaker 1: you've lost contact with them? Assuming at this point Christina
• 1:35:11
  Speaker 1: and Daniel are no longer a part of your life, Rachel,
• 1:35:14
  Speaker 1: isn't we've clarified, is not really a part of your life?
• 1:35:17
  Speaker 1: What is it about these relationships publicly that you've dated
• 1:35:20
  Speaker 1: within that's allowed you to lead learn enough about who
• 1:35:23
  Speaker 1: you're looking for, what you're looking for, and what you
• 1:35:25
  Speaker 1: wanted to say. I'm gonna take the risk. It's not
• 1:35:28
  Speaker 1: gonna be easy. I'm gonna fly all the way back
• 1:35:29
  Speaker 1: down to Mexico to pick a girl up off a
• 1:35:32
  Speaker 1: beach because I need to know something more about her. Yeah,
• 1:35:36
  Speaker 1: that was an interesting time, um to start, kind of
• 1:35:39
  Speaker 1: from the beginning of going to Batch. I think I
• 1:35:40
  Speaker 1: got the call for this Bachelor in Paradise around February.
• 1:35:43
  Speaker 1: I was in Japan with my friend. They called me,
• 1:35:45
  Speaker 1: and at the time I was like, absolutely not. I
• 1:35:47
  Speaker 1: don't want to be in a relationship right now. Like
• 1:35:48
  Speaker 1: I've got these plans to move into a van and
• 1:35:51
  Speaker 1: focus on myself and like explore every avenue of interest
• 1:35:55
  Speaker 1: that I could possibly have, So like, Paradise not gonna
• 1:35:57
  Speaker 1: happen unless you, like pay me more money, you know.
• 1:36:00
  Speaker 1: I literally said, I found out the most money that
• 1:36:03
  Speaker 1: anyone's ever made on the show, and I requested one
• 1:36:05
  Speaker 1: dollar more than that person made. I said, I'm not
• 1:36:07
  Speaker 1: doing it for a dollar less than this number. You
• 1:36:09
  Speaker 1: are a nurse. And eventually it came like I got
• 1:36:15
  Speaker 1: laughed at and hung up on. Basically, they called me
• 1:36:18
  Speaker 1: back a couple of months, a month or two later
• 1:36:19
  Speaker 1: and they're like, Okay, have you reconsidered. I go, yes,
• 1:36:21
  Speaker 1: I'll do it for this much money, still an exorbitant,
• 1:36:24
  Speaker 1: ridiculous amount that is just never gonna be approved. Hung
• 1:36:28
  Speaker 1: up on me again. And then eventually I was like
• 1:36:30
  Speaker 1: talking to my friends about it, and they're like, you know,
• 1:36:32
  Speaker 1: like whatever I think. I was talking to Nick about it,
• 1:36:33
  Speaker 1: actually he goes, what do you have to lose? Like,
• 1:36:35
  Speaker 1: you're not You're not like going to miss out or
• 1:36:37
  Speaker 1: anything by going down to the beach. It's it would
• 1:36:39
  Speaker 1: be another fun experience, just like you know yourself better,
• 1:36:41
  Speaker 1: behavirself better this time too. So like, yeah, I guess
• 1:36:44
  Speaker 1: I'll give it a go. We'll see what happens. Um.
• 1:36:47
  Speaker 1: I had grown out like my facial like my goute
• 1:36:50
  Speaker 1: a lot randomly, and I like walked the carpet with
• 1:36:53
  Speaker 1: Wells and I saw how disgusting my chin hair looked,
• 1:36:56
  Speaker 1: and I was like, you know, I'm gonna shave off
• 1:36:57
  Speaker 1: this little under part of my goutique. Keep the must
• 1:37:00
  Speaker 1: dash um. And then I got to Mexico and I
• 1:37:03
  Speaker 1: still have the mustache for the more or less, and
• 1:37:05
  Speaker 1: I was like, you know what, I'm just gonna keep
• 1:37:06
  Speaker 1: this mustache. Walked down unto the beach, um, and let's
• 1:37:10
  Speaker 1: and it's also the confidence that we talked about earlier.
• 1:37:14
  Speaker 1: Yeah I suppose Okay, yeah, no, you're right. I don't know.
• 1:37:19
  Speaker 1: It's it's hard to It's easy to like paint a
• 1:37:21
  Speaker 1: picture of what you expect to happen, but then when
• 1:37:22
  Speaker 1: you get down there, it's like, obviously, never really gonna
• 1:37:24
  Speaker 1: happen how you expected to. Um. I thought I was
• 1:37:26
  Speaker 1: gonna be a gimmick, you know. I thought I was
• 1:37:28
  Speaker 1: gonna walk down to the beach and be like, oh,
• 1:37:30
  Speaker 1: here's Dean back for the fourth time. Like he's gonna
• 1:37:33
  Speaker 1: hang out for a couple of days, maybe like kiss someone,
• 1:37:35
  Speaker 1: and then probably go home because he's not taking it seriously.
• 1:37:37
  Speaker 1: Uh So I walked down and see a lot of
• 1:37:41
  Speaker 1: people I don't know, but I see it like obviously
• 1:37:43
  Speaker 1: Christina Blake and Derek, who I am friends with for
• 1:37:46
  Speaker 1: the most part, all of them. Um, and then I
• 1:37:50
  Speaker 1: was like, oh, it's like it's weird being back here.
• 1:37:53
  Speaker 1: I made a conscious decision to stay sober the whole
• 1:37:55
  Speaker 1: time too, just because that's kind of been a downfall
• 1:37:57
  Speaker 1: of mine through season's past, and it was if you
• 1:38:03
  Speaker 1: ever think about going on the show, do not drink alcohol,
• 1:38:06
  Speaker 1: just like you have like a glass of wine maybe
• 1:38:08
  Speaker 1: every once in a while, But like the first couple
• 1:38:10
  Speaker 1: of seasons, I was getting like black out drunk almost
• 1:38:12
  Speaker 1: every episode. They're almost every day, I mean, because I
• 1:38:15
  Speaker 1: just like it. There was nothing really else to do,
• 1:38:16
  Speaker 1: and I didn't really have much else to do other
• 1:38:18
  Speaker 1: than that. This time, I didn't drink, and it was
• 1:38:21
  Speaker 1: the best experience out of all of them by a
• 1:38:24
  Speaker 1: landslide um. And obviously Caylin and I go on that
• 1:38:27
  Speaker 1: first date, and Caylin and I have a bit of
• 1:38:28
  Speaker 1: a history, right, like she d MS me before she
• 1:38:31
  Speaker 1: even went on the Bachelor, uh, and so like I
• 1:38:34
  Speaker 1: knew that there's interest there. I like randomly saw her
• 1:38:36
  Speaker 1: do an interview before I even went down to Paradise
• 1:38:38
  Speaker 1: of her saying like, oh, Dean so attractive, and I
• 1:38:41
  Speaker 1: was like, Wow, this girl really like likes me weirdly, um,
• 1:38:44
  Speaker 1: which in hindsight like it's I don't know, I really
• 1:38:46
  Speaker 1: appreciate the fact that she reached out to me before
• 1:38:49
  Speaker 1: even going on The Bachelor, uh, because like I think
• 1:38:52
  Speaker 1: that there's a lot of insecurity that's driven from the
• 1:38:53
  Speaker 1: fact that, like, sometimes you feel like people are just
• 1:38:55
  Speaker 1: using you for whatever reason, and um, I don't know. Anyways,
• 1:39:00
  Speaker 1: we're going a date goes well, chemistry is there. I
• 1:39:03
  Speaker 1: didn't expect to like this girl. I thought that we
• 1:39:05
  Speaker 1: were just going to go on a date and be like, yeah,
• 1:39:06
  Speaker 1: you know whatever, this girl sucks. It turns out like
• 1:39:08
  Speaker 1: I actually do really like her, and time kind of
• 1:39:11
  Speaker 1: starts to continue to go on, and I like I
• 1:39:14
  Speaker 1: started liking her, but I was like so convinced in
• 1:39:16
  Speaker 1: myself that I was not going to leave that beach
• 1:39:18
  Speaker 1: in a relationship, and the producers all knew that too,
• 1:39:20
  Speaker 1: and Caylin even knew that too. I told her every
• 1:39:22
  Speaker 1: single day. I was like, look, I'm not gonna I'm
• 1:39:23
  Speaker 1: gonna break up with you in the last day of
• 1:39:24
  Speaker 1: the Passion in Paradise, like just understand that. And she
• 1:39:27
  Speaker 1: I think she like said that she understood it, but
• 1:39:30
  Speaker 1: I think she kind of thought that I was like
• 1:39:32
  Speaker 1: just joking around. Obviously I wasn't um And eventually one
• 1:39:36
  Speaker 1: night the producers were like, look, man, like you're not
• 1:39:38
  Speaker 1: taking this seriously, you know you're gonna leave. Uh. Caylin's
• 1:39:42
  Speaker 1: expressed interest in this other guy who's probably gonna come
• 1:39:44
  Speaker 1: down in the next couple of days, like it would
• 1:39:46
  Speaker 1: probably be smart of you to get out of here
• 1:39:47
  Speaker 1: now so she can explore that relationship. And I was like,
• 1:39:49
  Speaker 1: you know what, that makes a lot of sense. And
• 1:39:50
  Speaker 1: I agree with it because I was like, again, still
• 1:39:53
  Speaker 1: convinced that I wasn't gonna leave in a relationship. And
• 1:39:57
  Speaker 1: so I leave. I I back to San Diego, where
• 1:40:01
  Speaker 1: my van was, and I drive out to Horseshoe Bend
• 1:40:05
  Speaker 1: and think about things. And when I landed actually in
• 1:40:08
  Speaker 1: San Diego, I like even I texted my producer friend
• 1:40:10
  Speaker 1: and I was like, listen, man, I'm like, really sad,
• 1:40:12
  Speaker 1: I think I might have made the wrong choice. And
• 1:40:14
  Speaker 1: he was like, just think about it, like dwell on
• 1:40:15
  Speaker 1: it for a little bit. Process it. Uh. He's something
• 1:40:18
  Speaker 1: like a full on list of things like coping ideas
• 1:40:21
  Speaker 1: of like go here, think about this, like do this,
• 1:40:24
  Speaker 1: eat this, like things just like the kind of like
• 1:40:27
  Speaker 1: put my mind at ease a and be like allows
• 1:40:29
  Speaker 1: a lots of introspection. H And he's like and I
• 1:40:33
  Speaker 1: was like, look, man, like come sad, I think I
• 1:40:34
  Speaker 1: made the wrong decision. He goes, well, hey, listen obviously
• 1:40:37
  Speaker 1: for for ratings wise, we would love to have you
• 1:40:39
  Speaker 1: come back on the show. It's up to you, obviously
• 1:40:41
  Speaker 1: at the end of the day if you want to
• 1:40:42
  Speaker 1: come back on or not take the night to sleep
• 1:40:44
  Speaker 1: on it. Text me in the morning if you want
• 1:40:45
  Speaker 1: to come back. We'll book you a planet to get
• 1:40:47
  Speaker 1: and we'll foll you back down. Ah. So I drive
• 1:40:50
  Speaker 1: out to hors you Bend, stay there for a couple
• 1:40:52
  Speaker 1: of hours, drive down to Phoenix, book a flight from
• 1:40:54
  Speaker 1: Phoenix to Los Angeles, wake up the next day, and uh,
• 1:40:58
  Speaker 1: I was like, you know what I miss? Hanging around
• 1:41:02
  Speaker 1: this person that I spent the past eight days basically
• 1:41:04
  Speaker 1: attached at the hip. I don't know if you remember
• 1:41:07
  Speaker 1: Bachelor and Paradise that in its entirety, but this girl
• 1:41:10
  Speaker 1: was like a piece of velcrow to me. She was
• 1:41:12
  Speaker 1: stuck on me. Uh, like Elmer Fudd's strongest gripping glue. Yeah,
• 1:41:17
  Speaker 1: she wouldn't leave you, She wouldn't leave me alone. Obsessed.
• 1:41:21
  Speaker 1: They say, yes, they absolutely do say that, and it's accurate.
• 1:41:23
  Speaker 1: It's accurate. Um, it was hard to go from that
• 1:41:27
  Speaker 1: eight days, twenty four hours a day to being around
• 1:41:29
  Speaker 1: this person who I like, actually genuinely enjoyed hanging Like
• 1:41:31
  Speaker 1: it wasn't this weird, like me convincing myself that I
• 1:41:34
  Speaker 1: enjoyed spending time with this person. It was like I
• 1:41:36
  Speaker 1: actually genuinely like enjoyed it. And there wasn't really like
• 1:41:38
  Speaker 1: many lapses in conversation, and when there was, it felt natural.
• 1:41:41
  Speaker 1: It felt normal, you know. Um. And then I left
• 1:41:45
  Speaker 1: and I I got to thinking. I was like, well,
• 1:41:48
  Speaker 1: I could wait until Bachelor Paradise has done filming and
• 1:41:51
  Speaker 1: like just text her and like ask her if she
• 1:41:54
  Speaker 1: has the time to talk to me, and like see
• 1:41:55
  Speaker 1: if we can figure this out off camera. Like there's
• 1:41:57
  Speaker 1: less risk that way because I'm not putting myself out
• 1:42:00
  Speaker 1: there so publicly again. But also I knew that she
• 1:42:03
  Speaker 1: would really liked Connor and she was really interested in
• 1:42:05
  Speaker 1: meeting him. So I was like, well, like the more
• 1:42:08
  Speaker 1: I duelled on it and actually called the cup of
• 1:42:09
  Speaker 1: my friends, I was like, what should I do? None
• 1:42:11
  Speaker 1: of them were supportive of me going back, by the way,
• 1:42:13
  Speaker 1: but I knew that like if I had if I
• 1:42:16
  Speaker 1: didn't go back, she would have left the beach more
• 1:42:19
  Speaker 1: more likely than not in a relationship with Connor, and
• 1:42:21
  Speaker 1: then I would be infringing upon that relationship at the time,
• 1:42:25
  Speaker 1: and it would eventually become public when they left the
• 1:42:27
  Speaker 1: beach together when the show aired. So I was like,
• 1:42:30
  Speaker 1: this girl is great, She's gonna get swooped up sooner
• 1:42:32
  Speaker 1: rather than later. If I don't go back now, I'm
• 1:42:34
  Speaker 1: probably never gonna have a chance to see if this
• 1:42:37
  Speaker 1: would like actually work out. Um, So I fly back,
• 1:42:40
  Speaker 1: walked down to the beach, and yeah, obviously things went
• 1:42:43
  Speaker 1: well for me. But that whole decision process, it wasn't easy. Man.
• 1:42:47
  Speaker 1: Like I talked to uh like Alex and Mike, some
• 1:42:49
  Speaker 1: of my best friends, and then I came into the
• 1:42:50
  Speaker 1: studio and recorded a podcast like to Jared, and Jared
• 1:42:52
  Speaker 1: was actually one of the few that was like super
• 1:42:54
  Speaker 1: supportive of the idea and I'm glad I did it.
• 1:42:59
  Speaker 1: It was uh yeah, I don't know. It wasn't easy,
• 1:43:02
  Speaker 1: even like walking back down onto that beach that second time,
• 1:43:04
  Speaker 1: I was like I almost like turned around a couple
• 1:43:06
  Speaker 1: of times. I almost like told the producers. I was like, look,
• 1:43:08
  Speaker 1: you know what, actually, on second thought, this is a
• 1:43:09
  Speaker 1: bad idea, Like let's let's not do this. Um but yeah,
• 1:43:13
  Speaker 1: and and you know, kind of to bring everything full circle,
• 1:43:16
  Speaker 1: like I'm sick of I'm sick of like running away
• 1:43:18
  Speaker 1: from all the problems in my life, like all the
• 1:43:20
  Speaker 1: bad things that happened to me. All I do is
• 1:43:21
  Speaker 1: like basically either run away from them, uh physically or
• 1:43:24
  Speaker 1: or figuratively in so many ways. And even like living
• 1:43:27
  Speaker 1: in a van you could look at is like me
• 1:43:28
  Speaker 1: literally physically running away from everything that's important to me
• 1:43:32
  Speaker 1: or has value in my life. Um So coming back
• 1:43:34
  Speaker 1: down to the beach was kind of like a symbolic
• 1:43:37
  Speaker 1: version of me saying like, look, I'm gonna stop running
• 1:43:39
  Speaker 1: away from these things. I'm gonna stop like running away
• 1:43:43
  Speaker 1: from the good things in my life and figure out
• 1:43:44
  Speaker 1: exactly what I want to do and where I'm gonna go.
• 1:43:47
  Speaker 1: And I want you to be part of that with me.
• 1:43:50
  Speaker 1: And I'm grateful I did. I don't think that she's
• 1:43:53
  Speaker 1: upset that she did either. But it wasn't easy. What
• 1:43:57
  Speaker 1: was it about, Klin? There's there's something I've caught on
• 1:44:02
  Speaker 1: here and I want to tell you, tell me. I
• 1:44:03
  Speaker 1: want you to tell me if I'm wrong. Every other
• 1:44:06
  Speaker 1: person you've dated in the Bachelor franchise. You've explained the
• 1:44:09
  Speaker 1: very first thing is a bit a physical compliment. Klin
• 1:44:12
  Speaker 1: is obviously gorgeous. It's not a secret to anybody. But
• 1:44:15
  Speaker 1: with Klin, your very first comment to her about her
• 1:44:19
  Speaker 1: is about who she is as a person. Do you
• 1:44:22
  Speaker 1: feel that change in yourself? Um, what I've experienced in
• 1:44:26
  Speaker 1: relationships is obviously, I think the first thing that brings
• 1:44:29
  Speaker 1: us to like want to talk to someone is a
• 1:44:31
  Speaker 1: physical attraction, or like you see someone at a bar,
• 1:44:33
  Speaker 1: like even you with Jess Jes caught your eye on Instagram, right,
• 1:44:36
  Speaker 1: so you just go out of your way to try
• 1:44:37
  Speaker 1: to try and find it, get to know her deeper.
• 1:44:39
  Speaker 1: I don't think that's a bad thing to be physically
• 1:44:41
  Speaker 1: attracted this someone off the bat. Um. I think my
• 1:44:44
  Speaker 1: kind of like Achilles heal and relationships is I kind
• 1:44:47
  Speaker 1: of let that override my other um I guess way
• 1:44:52
  Speaker 1: of thinking, and what I've like slowly began to realize
• 1:44:55
  Speaker 1: it is like I'm I'm this is gonna sound kind
• 1:44:57
  Speaker 1: of silly and maybe a little melodramatic. I'm like, I'm
• 1:45:01
  Speaker 1: like probably on the spectrum of a sexuality. Really, I like,
• 1:45:05
  Speaker 1: don't I'm not like motivated by sex, but like the
• 1:45:08
  Speaker 1: novelty of like meeting someone new and like seeing if
• 1:45:10
  Speaker 1: you can like kiss them or hook up with them,
• 1:45:12
  Speaker 1: Like that's exciting to me. Um. But like if I
• 1:45:15
  Speaker 1: date someone that's just just solely beautiful, like the main
• 1:45:18
  Speaker 1: reason I'm dating dating them is beauty that fades incredibly quickly.
• 1:45:22
  Speaker 1: And I've experience with Kalen is, yes, she's an incredibly
• 1:45:24
  Speaker 1: beautiful person, but it's a lot more than that, and
• 1:45:28
  Speaker 1: like I can actually enjoy it, Like I spent a
• 1:45:30
  Speaker 1: lot of freaking time with this girl, right, And there
• 1:45:33
  Speaker 1: are times where I'm like I need to get out
• 1:45:35
  Speaker 1: of here, but it takes a lot longer for me
• 1:45:37
  Speaker 1: to get to that point than it has for anyone
• 1:45:39
  Speaker 1: in the past, where like I'm running from these relationships,
• 1:45:42
  Speaker 1: like this is pretty Kalin. I'm running from these relationships,
• 1:45:45
  Speaker 1: but I feel like I'm running from them because I
• 1:45:46
  Speaker 1: got into them for the wrong reason, you know, like
• 1:45:48
  Speaker 1: for some superficial, shallow reason. Um. And what's nice about
• 1:45:53
  Speaker 1: obviously my relationship with Kalin is it goes a little
• 1:45:55
  Speaker 1: bit deeper than that, and there's like a little bit
• 1:45:57
  Speaker 1: more of I guess, like banter back and forth that
• 1:46:00
  Speaker 1: we're able to have, and so yes, she is a
• 1:46:02
  Speaker 1: beautiful woman and I'm very lucky to be able to
• 1:46:05
  Speaker 1: call her my girlfriend. But it goes on. It goes
• 1:46:06
  Speaker 1: a lot deeper than just that physical beauty, which I
• 1:46:10
  Speaker 1: typically would place ahead or in the past had placed
• 1:46:13
  Speaker 1: ahead of, like a deeper connection, I suppose. Yeah. Then
• 1:46:16
  Speaker 1: the thing with Kylyn is, for at least the time
• 1:46:18
  Speaker 1: being no pressure on you, guys. Um is that when
• 1:46:21
  Speaker 1: you do start to feel that like I need to
• 1:46:23
  Speaker 1: get out of here, which I get I feel that too, right,
• 1:46:25
  Speaker 1: I love my girlfriend, but it happens. The interesting part
• 1:46:29
  Speaker 1: is once you do leave and you can collect your
• 1:46:31
  Speaker 1: thoughts there, when I know it's right, is there's an
• 1:46:34
  Speaker 1: excitement also go back. Yeah it sucks. Yeah. We just
• 1:46:37
  Speaker 1: spent like nine days together in a row, like literally
• 1:46:40
  Speaker 1: every waking moment together and every unwaking moment, like we
• 1:46:43
  Speaker 1: start obviously in the same bed and everything, and uh,
• 1:46:47
  Speaker 1: I was like it was yesterday. I was like, dude,
• 1:46:49
  Speaker 1: I just gotta get the hell away from you for
• 1:46:51
  Speaker 1: a little bit, you know what I mean. So I
• 1:46:52
  Speaker 1: drove out to Paris. I wanted to skydive all day,
• 1:46:54
  Speaker 1: but the winds weren't didn't allow me to skydive. So
• 1:46:56
  Speaker 1: I basically it's like kind of hung around, like worked
• 1:46:58
  Speaker 1: on things like watching Netflix a little bit, watch football.
• 1:47:00
  Speaker 1: Then I was like like sorry language again, but like
• 1:47:03
  Speaker 1: I was like, I was like, I just want to
• 1:47:05
  Speaker 1: kind of want to get back and hang out with her,
• 1:47:06
  Speaker 1: you know what, which is like it's it's a really
• 1:47:08
  Speaker 1: thing to feel, and it's a really weird feeling because
• 1:47:11
  Speaker 1: I haven't felt it many times in my life. Yeah,
• 1:47:13
  Speaker 1: it's like it's like, dang it, like I I think
• 1:47:15
  Speaker 1: I've found something. Gosh, I've I've been really good at
• 1:47:21
  Speaker 1: running away and feeling like, oh yeah, I can't do
• 1:47:24
  Speaker 1: this is getting annoying, and then all of a sudden
• 1:47:26
  Speaker 1: you found something that you're like, I kind of like it. Yeah.
• 1:47:29
  Speaker 1: And that was the big thing too, where it's like
• 1:47:31
  Speaker 1: a lot of the reason that I wanted to live
• 1:47:33
  Speaker 1: in a van was because I wanted to experience ah,
• 1:47:36
  Speaker 1: not like individuality, but like seclude just like complete freedom
• 1:47:40
  Speaker 1: and every facet of the word. Right, that's what the
• 1:47:43
  Speaker 1: appeople of living in a van expressed. I thought of it, asked, well,
• 1:47:47
  Speaker 1: that was a weird way to say that sentence. Um,
• 1:47:49
  Speaker 1: And then so like the idea of a girlfriend kind
• 1:47:51
  Speaker 1: of is counterintuitive to that same idea, and so that's
• 1:47:54
  Speaker 1: why I left the beach in the first place, where
• 1:47:56
  Speaker 1: I was like, look, I have this very clear picture
• 1:47:58
  Speaker 1: of what I want to be doing for the next
• 1:47:59
  Speaker 1: whole months in my life. That's completely not her for you, don't.
• 1:48:01
  Speaker 1: I want to be able to drive where I want
• 1:48:02
  Speaker 1: to drive to. I want to be able to skydive
• 1:48:04
  Speaker 1: where I want a skydive, ski where I want to ski,
• 1:48:05
  Speaker 1: scoobar where I want a scooba, etcetera, etcetera. Um, and
• 1:48:08
  Speaker 1: the idea of having a girlfriend is only going to
• 1:48:11
  Speaker 1: hinder that idea. And then so coming back, I think
• 1:48:15
  Speaker 1: like a lot of my reservations about coming back, we're
• 1:48:17
  Speaker 1: like okay, well, like I'm still not gonna be able
• 1:48:18
  Speaker 1: to do those things. But what's great about Kalin is
• 1:48:20
  Speaker 1: she's very like supportive and encouraging of that. And sometimes
• 1:48:23
  Speaker 1: she's like, yeah, like I'm gonna come along with you
• 1:48:25
  Speaker 1: on this trip wherever you want to go. But then
• 1:48:27
  Speaker 1: she also like, tomorrow I'll leave for Ptaro, Chico for
• 1:48:29
  Speaker 1: two weeks, and she's like, okay with me going away
• 1:48:32
  Speaker 1: for two weeks. Whether she has the option to not
• 1:48:34
  Speaker 1: be okay with it or not. Maybe he's a little
• 1:48:36
  Speaker 1: bit for debate, but the fact is she like she's
• 1:48:39
  Speaker 1: not making me hinder my uh explorative side of myself.
• 1:48:45
  Speaker 1: Like I feel like some relationships kind of like kind
• 1:48:47
  Speaker 1: of really back in a little bit, and she's just
• 1:48:50
  Speaker 1: as keen to get out there and do the things
• 1:48:51
  Speaker 1: that I want to do for the most part um
• 1:48:53
  Speaker 1: in terms of at least like going places. She's obviously
• 1:48:55
  Speaker 1: on board with a lot of that stuff. But uh, yeah,
• 1:48:58
  Speaker 1: it's it's it's a little different than past relationships. It's funny. Actually,
• 1:49:02
  Speaker 1: we were just talking the other day, uh and I
• 1:49:04
  Speaker 1: can't remember exactly the context that it came up in,
• 1:49:07
  Speaker 1: but we're talking about me. I shaved my legs for Halloween,
• 1:49:11
  Speaker 1: just as a as a beautiful girl for Halloween, the
• 1:49:14
  Speaker 1: most beautiful girl I've ever seen, second most beautiful girl
• 1:49:16
  Speaker 1: I ever seen. And we're talking about shaving my leg hair.
• 1:49:20
  Speaker 1: And I was like, yeah, like this leg hair has
• 1:49:21
  Speaker 1: been with me my entire life. It's been with me
• 1:49:24
  Speaker 1: through good girlfriends and through bad girlfriends. And I was like, well,
• 1:49:26
  Speaker 1: I'm just gonna shave it off and start over new,
• 1:49:28
  Speaker 1: because like, I actually like my girlfriend for once, not
• 1:49:30
  Speaker 1: for once, but like, you know what I mean, Like
• 1:49:32
  Speaker 1: it's basically like like a fresh start of sorts in
• 1:49:34
  Speaker 1: a weird leg hair centric way up to the belly button. Um.
• 1:49:38
  Speaker 1: I actually I went about four inches down in my thigh.
• 1:49:40
  Speaker 1: I don't know why I didn't go all the way up,
• 1:49:41
  Speaker 1: but I didn't feel right to go all the way up.
• 1:49:43
  Speaker 1: But yeah, it was like this weird Uh. I had
• 1:49:45
  Speaker 1: never really audibly said like like I like my girlfriend
• 1:49:50
  Speaker 1: more than I've liked a girlfriend in a long time,
• 1:49:52
  Speaker 1: you know what I mean? It was just like a
• 1:49:54
  Speaker 1: weird I don't know, like I didn't really I don't
• 1:49:55
  Speaker 1: think she registered it. I don't think I really registered it.
• 1:49:57
  Speaker 1: But for me to like say that was just like
• 1:49:59
  Speaker 1: a weird thing, you know what I mean, I know
• 1:50:02
  Speaker 1: what you mean. Yeah, to like say it and mean
• 1:50:04
  Speaker 1: it and feel The other day somebody asked me with Jessica.
• 1:50:10
  Speaker 1: My dad did Actually He's like, so what do you
• 1:50:11
  Speaker 1: what's going on there? Like? Where is this gonna go?
• 1:50:14
  Speaker 1: I said, Dad. The craziest part about it is like
• 1:50:16
  Speaker 1: I have so much peace around this relationship, Like it's
• 1:50:20
  Speaker 1: exciting for me to say things like I like my girlfriend,
• 1:50:24
  Speaker 1: which hasn't happened many times in my life. It's not
• 1:50:26
  Speaker 1: the only time it's happened, it's not many. But the
• 1:50:29
  Speaker 1: thing with Jessica is like, there is this like enormous
• 1:50:31
  Speaker 1: amount of piece that follows it that has never been
• 1:50:33
  Speaker 1: the case. I thought it is too And obviously, like
• 1:50:36
  Speaker 1: we have our differences Kylen and I, Um, she's a
• 1:50:40
  Speaker 1: little bit more traditional and a little bit less traditional
• 1:50:43
  Speaker 1: of course, but uh yeah, it's just it's a it's
• 1:50:47
  Speaker 1: a it's a nice feeling, Dean, You're in a relationship.
• 1:50:52
  Speaker 1: Life has changed for you since we were last introduced,
• 1:50:54
  Speaker 1: first introduced to you on The bachelorat I have a
• 1:50:58
  Speaker 1: few emails from me your biggest fans. They're not gonna
• 1:51:01
  Speaker 1: be easy to answer. And then I leave with this.
• 1:51:03
  Speaker 1: In every in depth episode we do this, we say, hey, Dean,
• 1:51:06
  Speaker 1: give us a message to send our listeners out on
• 1:51:09
  Speaker 1: because we've got to know you through this podcast. And
• 1:51:12
  Speaker 1: I think everybodys sitting around would say, yeah, we've got
• 1:51:13
  Speaker 1: to know Dean a little bit better today, Greed, all
• 1:51:17
  Speaker 1: the heads are shaking. Yeah, well, you guys know that
• 1:51:20
  Speaker 1: about my testicles now, So I guess a little bit
• 1:51:22
  Speaker 1: at least Dean uh This emails from Susan soon says,
• 1:51:26
  Speaker 1: I was wondering how Dean feels about the way Rachel
• 1:51:28
  Speaker 1: has been talking about Klin without even meeting her the
• 1:51:32
  Speaker 1: Calan listened to his interview on the Rachel's podcast. What
• 1:51:35
  Speaker 1: were her thoughts? When does he think the two will
• 1:51:38
  Speaker 1: ever meet? Caitlin and Rachel have Matt post I think
• 1:51:42
  Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't know. I don't I don't
• 1:51:44
  Speaker 1: really want to have much of an opinion on this.
• 1:51:46
  Speaker 1: I don't think I don't need to. Okay, cool, if
• 1:51:49
  Speaker 1: you don't want to, you don't need to. I think
• 1:51:51
  Speaker 1: my girlfriend's great, and I think that's really all that
• 1:51:53
  Speaker 1: matters as it pretends to the relationship, And I think
• 1:51:56
  Speaker 1: Rachel should focus on our relationship. Next emails from Vanessa
• 1:52:00
  Speaker 1: not the Vanessa we know. Back during Courtland's season, there
• 1:52:03
  Speaker 1: was dramas for ending Kalin sighting into Dean's d m
• 1:52:06
  Speaker 1: s and not being there for the right reasons. Is
• 1:52:09
  Speaker 1: it ironic that the next chance she gets to date him,
• 1:52:11
  Speaker 1: they walk off on the show together. Was this a
• 1:52:14
  Speaker 1: red flag for Dean knowing that she was cast for
• 1:52:17
  Speaker 1: Colton season while interested in you? Also the timeline of
• 1:52:20
  Speaker 1: Kalin's being in a relationship with Blake doesn't add up
• 1:52:23
  Speaker 1: because she was in talks to be the potential bachelort.
• 1:52:26
  Speaker 1: So if that were true, there's no reason why she
• 1:52:29
  Speaker 1: would be committed in a committed relationship with Blake, like
• 1:52:31
  Speaker 1: she told people in Paradise was a red flag for you, Dean. Um, No,
• 1:52:36
  Speaker 1: I don't think that really made much sense. Uh. Calin
• 1:52:40
  Speaker 1: was cast for Colton's season. Yes, I think that you're
• 1:52:44
  Speaker 1: allowed to have a crush on someone and then also
• 1:52:46
  Speaker 1: you're allowed to go and date someone else too. I
• 1:52:48
  Speaker 1: don't think there's much issue with that. I will say
• 1:52:50
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna speak on Kalen's behalf. She wanted Jason Tartick
• 1:52:53
  Speaker 1: to be the Bachelor, and she's she went on Colton season.
• 1:52:55
  Speaker 1: I don't think that's an issue either. It's not like
• 1:52:56
  Speaker 1: I need someone to be like I've only had eyes
• 1:52:58
  Speaker 1: for you since the day that I was born, and
• 1:53:00
  Speaker 1: like she's a free woman to do what she wants.
• 1:53:02
  Speaker 1: It's like, um, the Blake stuff. Man, that stuff's been
• 1:53:05
  Speaker 1: beaten like a dead horse. Like a dead horse. Is
• 1:53:07
  Speaker 1: it like a dead horse? It's been beaten to death? Um,
• 1:53:11
  Speaker 1: And I don't think we really need to talk about
• 1:53:12
  Speaker 1: that anymore, I would agree. So here's the truth to it.
• 1:53:15
  Speaker 1: In summary, Dean and Kiln are together. Things are going well.
• 1:53:20
  Speaker 1: You were the hard emails you were telling about. I
• 1:53:21
  Speaker 1: feel like there has to be something harder than that. No,
• 1:53:23
  Speaker 1: that's pretty hard, especially hard because Kalin is in the room.
• 1:53:27
  Speaker 1: I know you're right. Um, okay, Dean, this is the
• 1:53:34
  Speaker 1: end of the in depth episode one that we were
• 1:53:37
  Speaker 1: very thankful that you came on. Thank you first off
• 1:53:38
  Speaker 1: for coming on here and sharing, um who you are
• 1:53:41
  Speaker 1: with us, allowing us to to fill in the gaps
• 1:53:44
  Speaker 1: of where we might have missed it during your time
• 1:53:45
  Speaker 1: on The Bachelor, I think hopefully, and tell me if
• 1:53:49
  Speaker 1: I'm wrong. These podcasts help give a clearer picture of
• 1:53:52
  Speaker 1: who Dean is. Um. Yeah, What's funny about podcast to
• 1:53:55
  Speaker 1: me is I always I don't always listen to them back,
• 1:53:58
  Speaker 1: but sometimes I listen back to a podcast that either
• 1:54:00
  Speaker 1: I was on or a friend of mine was on,
• 1:54:02
  Speaker 1: and I'll always like look back and be like, well,
• 1:54:05
  Speaker 1: I wish we would have dived into this a little
• 1:54:07
  Speaker 1: bit deeper or went down this alley a little bit
• 1:54:09
  Speaker 1: longer kind of thing. Um, And I'm sure like it
• 1:54:12
  Speaker 1: if I listened to this podcast back, I might obviously
• 1:54:15
  Speaker 1: not because it's kind of embarrassing for me in a
• 1:54:17
  Speaker 1: lot of ways. I hope that I don't feel that way.
• 1:54:20
  Speaker 1: I don't expect to. UM. Whenever you like think about
• 1:54:23
  Speaker 1: your story to yourself and for whatever reason you're doing it,
• 1:54:27
  Speaker 1: you always like kind of plan the things that you
• 1:54:29
  Speaker 1: want to talk about and like what you want to
• 1:54:31
  Speaker 1: touch on. And so I feel like obviously conversation flows
• 1:54:34
  Speaker 1: ebbs and flows and doesn't necessarily allow at all times.
• 1:54:36
  Speaker 1: But I think that this was really good and I
• 1:54:37
  Speaker 1: think that you did a great job of navigating the conversation.
• 1:54:41
  Speaker 1: You got the ball story out of me for the
• 1:54:42
  Speaker 1: first time in public that's ever happened. That's a big one.
• 1:54:46
  Speaker 1: And I thought about every every platform that I would
• 1:54:49
  Speaker 1: have had to share that story. I never never expected
• 1:54:52
  Speaker 1: it to be this, but you did a fantastic job.
• 1:54:53
  Speaker 1: You made me feel comfortable, You made me feel like
• 1:54:56
  Speaker 1: I was at home. So I appreciate that. But is
• 1:54:59
  Speaker 1: there any thing right now that you do look back
• 1:55:01
  Speaker 1: on during this and you're like, I wish you would
• 1:55:03
  Speaker 1: have gone deeper. Um, I'm grateful that we didn't go
• 1:55:08
  Speaker 1: deeper on Bachelor Winter Games. I'm grateful that the thing
• 1:55:14
  Speaker 1: about all these stories, right is that there whatever I say,
• 1:55:18
  Speaker 1: whatever story I share, it's never going to be the
• 1:55:20
  Speaker 1: full truth, whether I think it is or not, it's
• 1:55:23
  Speaker 1: never gonna be a pent accurate And so it just
• 1:55:26
  Speaker 1: doesn't necessarily make sense to kind of go into a
• 1:55:28
  Speaker 1: lot of like the he said, she said type of
• 1:55:29
  Speaker 1: stuff because it's never gonna be right. And so I
• 1:55:32
  Speaker 1: appreciate that we didn't dwell on that stuff very long
• 1:55:34
  Speaker 1: because my experience with Bachelor in Paradise is my experience
• 1:55:39
  Speaker 1: and everyone else's is everyone else is. So it's just
• 1:55:41
  Speaker 1: like it's kind of a challenging thing to navigate when
• 1:55:44
  Speaker 1: you want to open up about it, And like I
• 1:55:45
  Speaker 1: don't want to put anyone in blast ever either, so
• 1:55:48
  Speaker 1: like while you're trying to be respectful of their privacy,
• 1:55:51
  Speaker 1: you also want to share your side of the story,
• 1:55:53
  Speaker 1: even though you know that that's maybe not exactly like
• 1:55:56
  Speaker 1: if you were to go with a third party objective
• 1:55:57
  Speaker 1: view to that stuff, like maybe you would see things
• 1:55:59
  Speaker 1: a little bit differ. Only so it's just always like
• 1:56:01
  Speaker 1: a weird, challenging dynamic. But um, I don't think that
• 1:56:04
  Speaker 1: we could have gone deeper into anything than we did.
• 1:56:08
  Speaker 1: I I am a little upset that. Um. We talked
• 1:56:14
  Speaker 1: a little bit about how there were only a few
• 1:56:17
  Speaker 1: moments that I were to show emotion during this podcast
• 1:56:19
  Speaker 1: that you said because I wanted to show more, and
• 1:56:21
  Speaker 1: I do want to show more, and I obviously you know,
• 1:56:24
  Speaker 1: we've we've gotten there a couple of times as friends.
• 1:56:26
  Speaker 1: But it's kind of, I guess hard to be like
• 1:56:28
  Speaker 1: that performative and be like, let's dive into this and like,
• 1:56:30
  Speaker 1: let's get super emotional about it, especially when when when
• 1:56:33
  Speaker 1: it comes to things like talking about my mother passing
• 1:56:35
  Speaker 1: away or Hunter or Alex. It's kind of gotten to
• 1:56:38
  Speaker 1: the point where I've just began to recite like a
• 1:56:40
  Speaker 1: script in my head, you know what I mean. You
• 1:56:42
  Speaker 1: you explain it enough times, you basically just spit out
• 1:56:44
  Speaker 1: the facts as quickly as you can and then you
• 1:56:46
  Speaker 1: hope to move on to the next topic. And this
• 1:56:48
  Speaker 1: was it was that, but it was like a maybe
• 1:56:52
  Speaker 1: a more water down version of that where we dove
• 1:56:54
  Speaker 1: a little bit deeper into which I appreciate, but I
• 1:56:56
  Speaker 1: still feel like there were times where I was kind
• 1:56:58
  Speaker 1: of like going into autopilot mode and just like saying
• 1:57:00
  Speaker 1: things that I've said a thousand times, you know what
• 1:57:01
  Speaker 1: I mean, and so ill if I were to listen
• 1:57:04
  Speaker 1: back to this, I would I would probably be critical
• 1:57:06
  Speaker 1: of myself for not being more I guess, like spontaneous
• 1:57:11
  Speaker 1: with my emotions and like figuring out exactly what might
• 1:57:14
  Speaker 1: have been causing those like words that I was saying,
• 1:57:16
  Speaker 1: you know, And and I don't know how to respond
• 1:57:20
  Speaker 1: to that, because I feel like it's it is one
• 1:57:23
  Speaker 1: of the detriments to doing a having a public life
• 1:57:26
  Speaker 1: at any level is you get asked about the things
• 1:57:28
  Speaker 1: that have been most pivotal in your story, like a
• 1:57:31
  Speaker 1: mother passing or best friend passing, and you could ask
• 1:57:33
  Speaker 1: about it so consistently even today, like different thing. But
• 1:57:37
  Speaker 1: for me, some pivotal points in my life are my
• 1:57:39
  Speaker 1: times in hnderous and like my relationship with Lauren. I
• 1:57:42
  Speaker 1: just did a press to her today and I was
• 1:57:43
  Speaker 1: asked about Lauren getting married on every single one of
• 1:57:45
  Speaker 1: my stops, Like that's my ex who I spent two
• 1:57:50
  Speaker 1: years of my life with, who like has held a
• 1:57:52
  Speaker 1: big piece of my heart for a while, Or your
• 1:57:54
  Speaker 1: your mother who has a huge role in your life,
• 1:57:57
  Speaker 1: but you talk about it so consistently that you've become
• 1:57:59
  Speaker 1: numb to the answers, and it does become routine, and
• 1:58:02
  Speaker 1: it's scary. It's scary, but it's also healthy because I
• 1:58:06
  Speaker 1: know that in my own time there is a deep
• 1:58:12
  Speaker 1: sensitivity and caring for those moments that like I can't
• 1:58:15
  Speaker 1: highlight publicly because I just I do, I turn into
• 1:58:18
  Speaker 1: a robot right well, And also think about it this way,
• 1:58:20
  Speaker 1: like in my case, what would it be like if
• 1:58:23
  Speaker 1: every time someone asked me to talk about my mother,
• 1:58:25
  Speaker 1: like I broke down and started crying, you know what
• 1:58:26
  Speaker 1: I mean? Like that just doesn't really seem healthy. I
• 1:58:29
  Speaker 1: don't know, but maybe it is. Maybe it's not. I
• 1:58:31
  Speaker 1: don't know. I don't know exactly. It's just it's like likely,
• 1:58:34
  Speaker 1: like you said, you kind of become numb to it
• 1:58:35
  Speaker 1: and you just basically recite the things that you've learned
• 1:58:37
  Speaker 1: to recite just so you can kind of either get
• 1:58:39
  Speaker 1: off a topic you're uncomfortable talking about and move on
• 1:58:42
  Speaker 1: to something else, or for whatever other reason, I don't know,
• 1:58:46
  Speaker 1: deing um close out here. Thirty second message to our listeners.
• 1:58:51
  Speaker 1: Before we do, Ashley has written some rapid fire questions
• 1:58:55
  Speaker 1: for you. We're gonna bring on Bob Dalton at the
• 1:58:56
  Speaker 1: end of the podcast. But thirty second message to our
• 1:58:59
  Speaker 1: listeners of who you're becoming, who you want to be,
• 1:59:03
  Speaker 1: and how they can live their best life. Wow, best life.
• 1:59:08
  Speaker 1: That's a good one. Um. Who am I becoming? I
• 1:59:10
  Speaker 1: think every day I grew up to hopefully become a
• 1:59:13
  Speaker 1: better version of myself. I don't really know. This is
• 1:59:14
  Speaker 1: kind of a weird thirty second segment. Um. If you're
• 1:59:17
  Speaker 1: listening to this, be sure to listen to help I
• 1:59:19
  Speaker 1: second dating on I Heart Radio. Also if you're listening
• 1:59:22
  Speaker 1: to this. A big thing that people reach out to
• 1:59:24
  Speaker 1: me often about on Instagram is about the traveling that
• 1:59:26
  Speaker 1: I do. And I think that I've learned a lot
• 1:59:28
  Speaker 1: about myself through the travels that I've done, both by
• 1:59:31
  Speaker 1: myself and with friends and significant others. Um. And if
• 1:59:34
  Speaker 1: you're ever questioning whether you should do something along those lines,
• 1:59:36
  Speaker 1: I fully support it and encourage you to do it
• 1:59:38
  Speaker 1: because I've learned a lot about myself. I've gained Uh.
• 1:59:42
  Speaker 1: I would say almost all the confidence I have nowadays
• 1:59:44
  Speaker 1: is just through traveling, especially as of lately, by myself
• 1:59:47
  Speaker 1: with my friends, and it's invaluable experience and it's incredibly fun.
• 1:59:52
  Speaker 1: Be sure to check out my website www dot Danie
• 1:59:55
  Speaker 1: babies dot com. I'm writing about my travels a little
• 1:59:58
  Speaker 1: bit more, and I want to be able to share
• 2:00:01
  Speaker 1: with you kind of like the nitty gritty side of
• 2:00:03
  Speaker 1: traveling and not really like the puffed up like I
• 2:00:05
  Speaker 1: share about my costs and my planning and all that
• 2:00:08
  Speaker 1: kind of stuff. And I kind of want to shed
• 2:00:10
  Speaker 1: some light on that side of things to hopefully allow
• 2:00:13
  Speaker 1: you to understand it better to be able to do
• 2:00:14
  Speaker 1: it yourself, because it's changed me a lot as a human.
• 2:00:17
  Speaker 1: So that's it. So where can they find the blog?
• 2:00:19
  Speaker 1: Danny babies dot com, Deanie babies dot com Coming at you, Dean,
• 2:00:24
  Speaker 1: send us out here. Ashley's Rapid Fire Questions TV show.
• 2:00:26
  Speaker 1: You're loving right now? Oh, living with yourself? You can
• 2:00:31
  Speaker 1: only have one of these toothpaste flost soap. Which one
• 2:00:34
  Speaker 1: do you pick? Oh Man toothpaste artists? You want to
• 2:00:39
  Speaker 1: have play at your wedding? Oh John craigy good choice?
• 2:00:44
  Speaker 1: Widing know. I just saw him live, did you? Oh? Yeah?
• 2:00:47
  Speaker 1: Love John Grays. That's I like that about you. Hey,
• 2:00:51
  Speaker 1: celebrity crush Kaylyn Miller Keys can't choose her Jamie Chunk,
• 2:00:58
  Speaker 1: not Surprised, Jared or Nick Jared and Nick. I don't know, Ben.
• 2:01:05
  Speaker 1: That's a messed up question that you can only listen
• 2:01:10
  Speaker 1: to one of these bands forever. Which one do you pick?
• 2:01:12
  Speaker 1: In sinc Backstreet Boys or Jonas Brothers. I'll go deaf,
• 2:01:15
  Speaker 1: thank you very much. And this one is easy. Which
• 2:01:18
  Speaker 1: one did you rather give up? Drinking or traveling? Drinking?
• 2:01:22
  Speaker 1: Dean and glared everybody, it's holiday season. We're up in flying,
• 2:01:32
  Speaker 1: we're driving, we're playing trains, automobiles, walking. I don't know
• 2:01:36
  Speaker 1: what you wanna do. You can do a lot of
• 2:01:38
  Speaker 1: things during your travel, but make sure you've got a
• 2:01:41
  Speaker 1: bag to go with it. Away luggage. This luggage is
• 2:01:46
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• 2:01:49
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• 2:01:55
  Speaker 1: and the perfect luggage is so important. You just heard Dean.
• 2:01:58
  Speaker 1: He is now picking me. He's going to Mexico for
• 2:02:00
  Speaker 1: two weeks. I'm on a flight again tomorrow. Things happen
• 2:02:04
  Speaker 1: in life that you just you gotta move and groove
• 2:02:07
  Speaker 1: in today's world, and in a sense, your luggage is
• 2:02:11
  Speaker 1: your home on the road. You get a hundred day
• 2:02:14
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• 2:02:17
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• 2:02:19
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• 2:02:22
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• 2:02:26
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• 2:02:30
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• 2:02:34
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• 2:02:59
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• 2:03:30
  Speaker 1: away travel dot com, backslash famous and use promo code
• 2:03:33
  Speaker 1: famous during checkout. You heard us talk about it many
• 2:03:40
  Speaker 1: times before. Just for a little reminder, two years ago,
• 2:03:44
  Speaker 1: I started on a journey with a few my buddy
• 2:03:46
  Speaker 1: starting company called Generous International. I'm not gonna bore you
• 2:03:49
  Speaker 1: with it because if you're a fan of the show,
• 2:03:50
  Speaker 1: you've probably heard it many times before. But Generous sells coffee,
• 2:03:54
  Speaker 1: t shirts, bracelets, mugs, other products of stories behind them
• 2:03:57
  Speaker 1: and we donate the profits of them back to nonprofits,
• 2:04:01
  Speaker 1: social causes, etcetera that are making uh life change in
• 2:04:07
  Speaker 1: the world. So it's fighting human injustice that are affecting humans.
• 2:04:10
  Speaker 1: And here right now, we're partnering with a campaign with
• 2:04:14
  Speaker 1: Sackcloth and Ashes. Uh. Sackcloth and Nashes is a blanket
• 2:04:17
  Speaker 1: company that is a give one How would you explain
• 2:04:22
  Speaker 1: that bob by one give one model? Is that what
• 2:04:23
  Speaker 1: you call that? One local local model? Uh? We're partnering
• 2:04:28
  Speaker 1: cyck Cloth Nash is because for every blanket you buy
• 2:04:31
  Speaker 1: between October through October, a blanket will be donated to
• 2:04:37
  Speaker 1: your local homeless shelter along with you will receive a
• 2:04:41
  Speaker 1: twelve ounce bag of coffee and the proceeds will be
• 2:04:44
  Speaker 1: donated to the l A Mission. And right now, my
• 2:04:48
  Speaker 1: good buddy, one of my greatest friends, one of my
• 2:04:50
  Speaker 1: newest friends, Bob Dalton, is in studio talking to us
• 2:04:53
  Speaker 1: about the campaign right now. Bob, obviously I know uh
• 2:04:58
  Speaker 1: the story behind Sackcloth Nashes. But for the listeners out
• 2:05:01
  Speaker 1: there that do not, um, why was that Claus started? Yeah?
• 2:05:05
  Speaker 1: So I launched the company five years ago and it
• 2:05:08
  Speaker 1: was inspired by my mom who ended up living on
• 2:05:10
  Speaker 1: the streets for a short period of time, and it
• 2:05:14
  Speaker 1: completely changed my paradigm of how I view and understand
• 2:05:16
  Speaker 1: homelessness because I was always the guy that would drive
• 2:05:18
  Speaker 1: by people on the street and whisper under my breath,
• 2:05:20
  Speaker 1: go get a job. And she ended up in that situation,
• 2:05:24
  Speaker 1: and it um changed my paradigm because she has two
• 2:05:27
  Speaker 1: college degrees, she raised my sister and I by herself.
• 2:05:29
  Speaker 1: She's the hardest working woman I know, and so the
• 2:05:32
  Speaker 1: idea that she would end up in that situation, it
• 2:05:35
  Speaker 1: inspired me to call my local home of shelters and
• 2:05:37
  Speaker 1: ask what they needed, and they all said blankets. And
• 2:05:40
  Speaker 1: I was familiar with the one for one model. But
• 2:05:42
  Speaker 1: I felt like the evolution to the one for one
• 2:05:44
  Speaker 1: model was to evolve it and make it local and um,
• 2:05:48
  Speaker 1: giving people all around the United States an opportunity to
• 2:05:51
  Speaker 1: make a difference down the street from where they live.
• 2:05:53
  Speaker 1: And so I came up with the idea that for
• 2:05:55
  Speaker 1: every blanket purchased, will donate a blanket to that person's
• 2:05:58
  Speaker 1: local home of shelters. So if you live in Austin, Texas,
• 2:06:01
  Speaker 1: and you buy a blanket, will send a blanket to
• 2:06:02
  Speaker 1: a homeless shelter in Austin. If you live in Nashville, Tennessee,
• 2:06:05
  Speaker 1: and you buy a blanket, will send a blanket to
• 2:06:07
  Speaker 1: a shelter in Nashville. And the whole concept was, let's
• 2:06:10
  Speaker 1: empower people to make a difference in their local communities
• 2:06:13
  Speaker 1: to help an issue that is in all of our backyards.
• 2:06:16
  Speaker 1: You actually brought in I think two blankets from market
• 2:06:18
  Speaker 1: Easton to day. You want to pass those out real quick? Yeah,
• 2:06:20
  Speaker 1: that'd be great. Check these out as we're talking. Uh, yeah,
• 2:06:26
  Speaker 1: we're passing on the blankets right now. Um for Mark
• 2:06:28
  Speaker 1: and Easton to take home, keep cuttle up with tonight
• 2:06:31
  Speaker 1: with their their lovely wives. Easton has the biggest male space.
• 2:06:35
  Speaker 1: There's that one man that loves getting gifts more than
• 2:06:38
  Speaker 1: easton Um Bob. As as they open up these gifts here,
• 2:06:42
  Speaker 1: I want to talk to you a little bit. Then
• 2:06:44
  Speaker 1: you see a need, um, you hear a need from
• 2:06:48
  Speaker 1: the local shelters. You start this blanket company, and then
• 2:06:51
  Speaker 1: what is the story of sackcloth and ash has been?
• 2:06:53
  Speaker 1: Because that's where it starts, but it's definitely not There's
• 2:06:57
  Speaker 1: a lot that's happened to get you to this place
• 2:07:00
  Speaker 1: you are now. Yeah, So the quick overview is I
• 2:07:03
  Speaker 1: launched the company with a sewing machine and a roll
• 2:07:05
  Speaker 1: of fabric from Joe Ann's Fabric and shout out to
• 2:07:08
  Speaker 1: Joe Ann's. I still get the discount codes on my phone.
• 2:07:11
  Speaker 1: And I realized really quickly that I can't sew, and
• 2:07:14
  Speaker 1: so I found a lady in my community that could.
• 2:07:17
  Speaker 1: So she started making me blankets. I'd box them up,
• 2:07:20
  Speaker 1: started driving up and down the Oregon coast and getting
• 2:07:22
  Speaker 1: into as many shops as I could. And my only
• 2:07:25
  Speaker 1: business strategy was post on Instagram once a day. So
• 2:07:28
  Speaker 1: I'm posting on Instagram. This is back in two thousand fourteen,
• 2:07:30
  Speaker 1: when Instagram was just at the early stages of kind
• 2:07:33
  Speaker 1: of at the bottom of the wave. November of two
• 2:07:36
  Speaker 1: thousand fourteen, five months into business, Instagram emailed me and
• 2:07:40
  Speaker 1: they're like, Bob, we love your story, we love what
• 2:07:42
  Speaker 1: you're doing. We want to feature you on Instagram's Instagram account.
• 2:07:45
  Speaker 1: And that was kind of our kickstarter. That was our
• 2:07:47
  Speaker 1: big break as a company. They post about us, we
• 2:07:49
  Speaker 1: go out to forty two million people and we grew
• 2:07:52
  Speaker 1: like twenty thou followers overnight. Ultimately, what that did was
• 2:07:56
  Speaker 1: it gave us the ability to work with pretty much
• 2:07:58
  Speaker 1: any content creator on Instagram. So there was a time
• 2:08:01
  Speaker 1: like two thousand fourteen, two thousand fifteen, I was working
• 2:08:03
  Speaker 1: with over a hundred influencers at one time and just
• 2:08:06
  Speaker 1: built the brand on social media for the first four years.
• 2:08:09
  Speaker 1: Two thousand eighteen, we launched our first major campaign called
• 2:08:13
  Speaker 1: Blanket the United States, where our goal is to donate
• 2:08:16
  Speaker 1: one million blankets a home of shelters by two thousand
• 2:08:18
  Speaker 1: twenty four. And we're gonna do that by partnering with
• 2:08:21
  Speaker 1: people individually who buy a blanket from our website will
• 2:08:23
  Speaker 1: send a blanket to their local Homer shelter. And we're
• 2:08:25
  Speaker 1: gonna do that by partnering with companies that want to
• 2:08:28
  Speaker 1: give gifts to their employees of their customers. They can
• 2:08:30
  Speaker 1: now give a blanket as a gift and make a
• 2:08:32
  Speaker 1: difference in their local home and shelters. So it's answering
• 2:08:34
  Speaker 1: a huge question for tons of corporations around the United
• 2:08:37
  Speaker 1: States that are like, how can we make a difference
• 2:08:39
  Speaker 1: in our local communities. You can now give a blanket
• 2:08:41
  Speaker 1: as a gift and make a difference in your local community.
• 2:08:44
  Speaker 1: So what that's done is it's opened up the door
• 2:08:46
  Speaker 1: for us to work with organizations all around the United
• 2:08:48
  Speaker 1: States and partner with people like ben UH to run
• 2:08:51
  Speaker 1: a specific awareness campaigns to bring exposure and light to
• 2:08:57
  Speaker 1: organizations that are actually doing really good work on a
• 2:09:00
  Speaker 1: grassroots level. It's you know, prettybody out there listening. Cyclous
• 2:09:04
  Speaker 1: nash Is has quickly become one of the most um
• 2:09:08
  Speaker 1: prominent for purpose companies UH in the US, and UH
• 2:09:12
  Speaker 1: and obviously Generous is working really hard um to continue
• 2:09:16
  Speaker 1: to do good as well. You know for somebody like
• 2:09:19
  Speaker 1: Sackcloth nash Is, who have you have a platform, you
• 2:09:23
  Speaker 1: have a product, things are going well, why do you
• 2:09:25
  Speaker 1: partner with a company like Generous? I just had a
• 2:09:28
  Speaker 1: lot of respect for you personally, because you know, anybody
• 2:09:32
  Speaker 1: that gains following really quick, it's really fascinating to see
• 2:09:35
  Speaker 1: what they ultimately do with that platform. And I had
• 2:09:38
  Speaker 1: a lot of respect for you because you actually use
• 2:09:40
  Speaker 1: your platform to start something from the ground up. And
• 2:09:44
  Speaker 1: you know, I just have respect for anybody that's out
• 2:09:46
  Speaker 1: there trying to start something from the ground up. Is
• 2:09:48
  Speaker 1: entrepreneurship is incredibly difficult and of the time doesn't work out.
• 2:09:52
  Speaker 1: So the fact that you use the platform that you
• 2:09:54
  Speaker 1: had to actually start something from the ground up and
• 2:09:57
  Speaker 1: specifically start something from the ground up, that actually is
• 2:10:00
  Speaker 1: making a difference. That's what really drew me to what
• 2:10:02
  Speaker 1: you're doing. And you know, I'm a fan, I'm I'm
• 2:10:06
  Speaker 1: a supporter of anybody out there that's actually showing up
• 2:10:08
  Speaker 1: and trying to make stuff happen like that. And so yeah,
• 2:10:11
  Speaker 1: it's been a privilege to be able to partner with
• 2:10:13
  Speaker 1: you in Generous and being able to do this specific campaign. Yeah, well,
• 2:10:17
  Speaker 1: it sounds like I just teed myself up for a
• 2:10:19
  Speaker 1: really nice compliment there, Um, that's not you know, I
• 2:10:22
  Speaker 1: think Bob and I have got along really well because
• 2:10:24
  Speaker 1: I think Generous Mission to donate profits back to and
• 2:10:27
  Speaker 1: kind of be the engine that fuels nonprofits. They are
• 2:10:30
  Speaker 1: trying to make life change and Sackcloth and Nash is
• 2:10:32
  Speaker 1: a mission to blank the US and to help UM
• 2:10:36
  Speaker 1: people without homes feel known, be loved and have that blanket. Uh.
• 2:10:40
  Speaker 1: As we close out here, Bob, you said something this
• 2:10:42
  Speaker 1: morning as we had coffee that I think, is it
• 2:10:45
  Speaker 1: really hits home for me? Um, because blankets are so
• 2:10:49
  Speaker 1: much more uh than just a material item to have
• 2:10:52
  Speaker 1: in the whole. Why was blankets and why has been
• 2:10:55
  Speaker 1: blankets been so important to you? Yeah, we kind of
• 2:10:57
  Speaker 1: hit the jackpaw with blankets just because blankets was or
• 2:11:01
  Speaker 1: is a universal product. Everybody has blankets. Everybody deserves to
• 2:11:05
  Speaker 1: have a blanket, and blankets are an item of dignity
• 2:11:07
  Speaker 1: and comfort, you know. And and beyond that, ultimately, blankets
• 2:11:12
  Speaker 1: have become a third party object that's connecting me with
• 2:11:16
  Speaker 1: people that have incredible amount of resources and influence and
• 2:11:20
  Speaker 1: companies that have influence, and connecting me with the organizations
• 2:11:23
  Speaker 1: on a ground level that are showing up every single
• 2:11:26
  Speaker 1: day and actually doing the work on a grassroots level.
• 2:11:28
  Speaker 1: And I get to be the bridge builder. The blankets
• 2:11:31
  Speaker 1: become the connector where I actually get to have conversations
• 2:11:34
  Speaker 1: with these people that have resources and have a platform
• 2:11:37
  Speaker 1: to bring exposure and resources to the people that actually
• 2:11:39
  Speaker 1: need it right now. And the more that we focus
• 2:11:42
  Speaker 1: on issues in our society and our media, the more
• 2:11:46
  Speaker 1: issues we create, the more that we focus on solutions,
• 2:11:49
  Speaker 1: the better society we create. And so the blankets ultimately
• 2:11:52
  Speaker 1: are creating an opportunity for me to be able to
• 2:11:55
  Speaker 1: use my platform and invite other people to use their
• 2:11:57
  Speaker 1: platform to highlight solutions that are being created all around
• 2:12:01
  Speaker 1: the United States, UM that are doing good work to
• 2:12:04
  Speaker 1: help solve and UM bring some aid to the issue
• 2:12:07
  Speaker 1: of homelessness. So in summer, here's what's happening October through
• 2:12:13
  Speaker 1: UM and we'll probably let it run out a little
• 2:12:14
  Speaker 1: bit longer. UM. So if you listen to this and
• 2:12:16
  Speaker 1: you're like, oh, it's the thirty feet, it's okay. You
• 2:12:18
  Speaker 1: can still play UM. Type in the code generous when
• 2:12:21
  Speaker 1: you purchase a blanket online at sackcloth nash dot com.
• 2:12:25
  Speaker 1: With that, your local homeless shelter will receive a blanket.
• 2:12:29
  Speaker 1: Along with you will receive a bag of Generous coffee,
• 2:12:33
  Speaker 1: and then the l A mission is going to receive
• 2:12:35
  Speaker 1: twenty five of the proceeds from this campaign. We've talked
• 2:12:41
  Speaker 1: about it before and I want to say it again.
• 2:12:43
  Speaker 1: The only heroes in this are the consumers, and so
• 2:12:46
  Speaker 1: you have to purchase to make this campaign successful. Uh,
• 2:12:49
  Speaker 1: it's the holiday season. These are great holiday gifts. Um.
• 2:12:53
  Speaker 1: We're excited to be doing this together. And thank you
• 2:12:56
  Speaker 1: to I Heartful Attingness come on and talk about it
• 2:12:57
  Speaker 1: and also thinks that I heard for helping set up
• 2:13:00
  Speaker 1: kind of the press tour today. It's been a great
• 2:13:02
  Speaker 1: day and I am so excited to be able to
• 2:13:05
  Speaker 1: partner with people like Bob and his team of sack
• 2:13:07
  Speaker 1: Cloth nash Is along with Generous Um to make some
• 2:13:11
  Speaker 1: life change happen. And we're excited to do with you. Also, again,
• 2:13:14
  Speaker 1: that's sack Cloth Nash's dot com typing the code generous.
• 2:13:18
  Speaker 1: Follow the Bennon Ashley I Almost Famous podcast on iHeart
• 2:13:22
  Speaker 1: Radio or subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts.