Latest / Adrian Milag Podcast / “Hindi Ka BAKLA, Anak Ka ng DIYOS” | Edwin Valles SSA CONVERSION STORY

Transcript

“Hindi Ka BAKLA, Anak Ka ng DIYOS” | Edwin Valles SSA CONVERSION STORY · Adrian Milag Podcast

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_04: Yung yung temptation to watch porn and mast to masturbate intensify around my states.
• 0:09
  SPEAKER_04: Wow.
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_01: Really talagang sakta yun?
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_04: So while na ging sober with with sex with others since I joined Kurt, porn and masturbation addiction.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_04: And in my past race, since then, since February 2014, I've been sober because I haven't had homosexual encounters.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_04: Amen.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_04: Amen.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_04: Despite despite the many years of my attitude, I think I was actively committing homosexual act for 23 years.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_04: During the silent open kosa please, I probably would say, you know, father, I'm gay.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_04: And then nag sin habin, discriminate or papa bilig.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_04: And when you're not gay, you're a fan of God.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_04: So I think yung yung para siguro, paranakar, don't just take me.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_04: Because I identified myself as tea.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_04: If I if I'm trying to be faithful to the teachings of the church, I'm not sure.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_04: Because I identify myself as I should be doing datings.
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_04: And the church should accept me for my identity as we mentality.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_04: But because of this priest, this time priest, nung china binya sayo.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_04: Made me away.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_04: I thought was a very spiritual 30-30 year of my existence.
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_04: So I think it was in during my retreat at that time.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_04: Parasadin, I understood why the dynamic between gay person and the rest of humanity.
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_04: I mean at that mean from a little spiritual spirit.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_04: So from from 33, from that consciousness.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_04: I think at a certain point, I have to stop a little bit from the parents na mina.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_04: So ng ng ng prefect of discipline.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_04: You know, subsilan asinabina oh parang yung kalak nyo, a bakla bakapo, paranganya.
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_04: So kusuna min bagi wale hi waha wale yin sila.
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_04: So paramodo.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_04: We should minimize word, yes.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_04: Yes.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_04: Wow.
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_04: I mean kasik kasa, da kame no.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_04: So paran across high school levels parang were quite close, no.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_04: So older batches kame.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_04: They totally hit the parang previous discipline.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_04: So I mean, parang of course in the church we say or yung televisionists, we say naw lang discrimination or whatever.
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_04: So but during that time, parang there was explicit.
• 3:17
  SPEAKER_04: I mean something like that.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_03: In the name of the Father, Son, the Holy Spirit.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_03: Amen.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_03: Protection of technology prayer.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_03: Lord Jesus Christ, sovereign King and throne in heaven, in your love and mercy.
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_03: I ask that you establish a perimeter of protection with your precious blood around our communication devices and all technology we use and own.
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_03: Our phones and cell phones, computers, tablets, and other devices.
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_03: The cameras or webcams, microphones, speakers, displays any and all software Wi-Fi connection in the air, both my router and the router of the people we are communicating with.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_03: The optic cables involved in the transmission of data and the light waves being used to transfer data.
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_03: Cleanse them with your precious blood and drive from them any satanic influence.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_03: I ask that you establish around them a sanctuary of your mercy where Satan and any other evil spirit or human agency cannot interfere.
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_03: I ask Father that will you block, bind, rebuke, and render impotent any assault of the evil one from them in any way.
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_03: Father, so long as these instrument are utilized, we ask you to allow them to enjoy the protection of the blessed Virgin Mary, Saint Carlo Achutis, Saint Michael, the Archangel, and all the holy angels.
• 4:35
  SPEAKER_03: We ask this in your name, most holy name, the name before which every knee shall bow in heaven, on the earth, and under the earth.
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_03: That Jesus Christ is Lord.
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_03: Amen.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_03: Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord's with you.
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_03: Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb, Jesus.
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_02: Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, none of the hours for death.
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_03: Amen.
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_03: Even in the forest, and the Holy Spirit.
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_03: Amen.
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_03: So welcome, po brother Edwin Balias, and welcome.
• 5:06
  SPEAKER_03: Sa adding program historian catholico.
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_03: So, former president of Gourage Philippines.
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_03: Thank you for saying yes to this interview, Po brother.
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_03: Thank you again for the invitation.
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_04: I'm quite excited to be part of your work.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_03: Thank you, Dahil.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_03: Kase yung story boy is very relevant.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_03: And shampre diba yan yung parang ma issue and mga.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_03: Gina gamit na mga ideology na yon.
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_03: So I think your testimony is will be a great revelation.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_03: And God will use this to plant seed in their heart.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_03: To si no manang pedi va kapano de punito brother.
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_03: By God's grace.
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_03: Brother Edwin Bali.
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_03: Mga no bay pang pin nkakabalang mgay brother.
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_04: So akausi Edwin, I work for a marketing agency, no, so I'm in marketing.
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_04: I've had a long career in marketing management.
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_06: So nice.
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_04: And then I used to teach, no, so na ka break lang, but I also used to teach a theology subject at the Dellasal College of St.
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_04: Daniel.
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_04: So I did it for about na three years continuous.
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_04: And then now parang temporary unbreak lamb.
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_04: So yeah.
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_04: I think yin yung two key points about me, uh I've been an active member of the uh of Courage for sure, no.
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_04: So the Catholic apostate for persons with the same sex attack and gender identity.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_03: So my masters in theology ka palab rather.
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_04: Yes, napag ta saka na masters in theology school of theology.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_04: I was able to complete it just before the pandemic closure, so ng 2020.
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_04: So I did that.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_04: I completed that in about three years.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_04: So yeah, um, College of St.
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_04: Jennifer because of that master's.
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_03: How about so marketing?
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_03: A no yung an specialized mo la man?
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_04: So I specialize in brand management.
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_04: So yung yung bulk of my career.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_04: But now I've moved to a marketing services agency.
• 7:10
  SPEAKER_04: So nasa ayan sha na ka.
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_04: Kong before na sa client side, sa brand management y na sa agency side.
• 7:17
  SPEAKER_04: So doing marketing promotions for clients.
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_03: Nice.
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_03: And brother, ad na mention mo an na na ging apart ka na courage Philippines.
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_03: So bha pedimisha nga ba n courage Philippines.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_03: Uh, or courage international.
• 7:32
  SPEAKER_03: Yes.
• 7:32
  SPEAKER_03: Sama viewers na bi awaredia.
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_04: Yung courage is the Catholic apostate for persons with same-sex attraction, k dayako, or gender identity concerns, no.
• 7:42
  SPEAKER_04: So it's an international community, you know.
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_04: So just recently ng peb uh six bayon uh karo ng pay balogins.
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_04: Correct.
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_04: So Pop Leo the 14th met with uh leaders of Courage International, no.
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_04: So it is internationally recognized as the as an accompaniment group, spiritual support group, no, for persons uh like me, no, with same-sex attraction that are faithful to the teachings of the church.
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_04: So akosomalia ksa courage in 2014, so about uh 12 years ago na kung 12 years na member ng courage.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_04: Uh and then ng 2016 I became a president, no.
• 8:17
  SPEAKER_04: So I became a president of courage for seven years.
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_04: So from 2016 up to 2023.
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_04: So yeah.
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_04: Now I major retired nga sa presidency in terms of administrative duties, but I continue na mantu para to be part of the advisory board of courage.
• 8:34
  SPEAKER_03: Nice.
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_03: Mention yung sa papal audience with Pop Lyo.
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_03: Tapus gin na mit pa ton ng bang mainstream media.
• 8:40
  SPEAKER_03: Parang mali yung headline, Pop Lio met with the same sex attraction.
• 8:45
  SPEAKER_03: Parha parang ginabit paila sa maling.
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_03: Na ba mining diman lang na pakilala na mayus yung courage.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_03: Pag mga mainstream.
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_03: Unlike pak bangga Catholic site, talaga na empasize courage who minister ganyan perul pag sa mainstream.
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_03: Talang gina gamit nin la to para alamin uh to twist the truth.
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_03: To advance their agenda for sure, yeah.
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_04: But kama for us it was a very joyful uh news, no.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_04: So lat n is a courage, no, so tong to wa about it.
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_04: So in fact, kakilala la kung is a sa mgadon.
• 9:17
  SPEAKER_04: So I met him personally I was able to attend yung courage conference k se.
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_04: So they they hold it uh once a year, so US usually meet up.
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_04: So I was able to meet one of them, no.
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_04: So and we've we've kept in touch, no, because he works for the Courage International Office.
• 9:33
  SPEAKER_04: So yeah.
• 9:34
  SPEAKER_04: So I'm very happy for him and very happy for the courage apostolate.
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_03: And uh, brother Edwin, uh the the reason why I invited you because of your conversion story.
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_03: So, bo ka pedimu ma share, uh pan san kalam bang symbolized same same sex attraction uh kelam mu unang naram doma, brother.
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_04: I I think as far as as far back as I can remember, I already had I had uh attractions na parang that are not quite similar to my my guy neighbors.
• 10:05
  SPEAKER_04: I felt somehow, I don't know, parang I found male, for example, pag ng no kiminang TV, I found male actors to be more interesting.
• 10:14
  SPEAKER_04: So that was me.
• 10:16
  SPEAKER_04: And then I was also quite refined in my ways, no, so uh effeminate, no, so I I do not like yung ma rough and tumble type of uh games that my boy neighbors would would play, no.
• 10:29
  SPEAKER_04: So I'm gonna I prefer the company of my girl neighbors, so yung gusung maskus, so bye bye or whatever.
• 10:37
  SPEAKER_04: So masgura mas less rough, you know.
• 10:40
  SPEAKER_04: So as far as back as I can remember, I I I already I I already felt different, you know?
• 10:46
  SPEAKER_04: So from my from my boy boy neighbors, and then also when I went to school, yangde no.
• 10:53
  SPEAKER_04: So I I think nung grave for parang that's when I started to parang different people who are like me.
• 11:03
  SPEAKER_04: Who I thought was like me, no, so me jo feminine, me jo nga isolator separated from other boys, and then from there on, uh friends, so we parang kami ma gay, gay Becky Barkarda in an all-boys school, no, so since since grade four uh in elementary.
• 11:20
  SPEAKER_03: Okay, but during that time.
• 11:23
  SPEAKER_04: Yep, yep, tang.
• 11:26
  SPEAKER_04: So na go volleyball, dang para stereotype na during my time, no, so g nan da nan kamedita.
• 11:33
  SPEAKER_04: So, so probably we will be we will be teased, no, so parang some form of bullying, but kasi we also have had strength in numbers, no, so we can fight back, so to speak, no.
• 11:44
  SPEAKER_04: So I mean yung typical na parang, I I guess, as is typical of ma teenagers or young people that we so alas ka no.
• 11:53
  SPEAKER_04: So gun yun.
• 11:54
  SPEAKER_04: Um I think nung it was in from from grade four onwards, my sense of parang difference and my sense of identity as a same-sex attackers attracted person, parang deepen and deepen.
• 12:08
  SPEAKER_04: Or kung nas nasu solidify as I as I progress.
• 12:12
  SPEAKER_04: I mean that yung more or less yin yung experience ng bata.
• 12:16
  SPEAKER_03: So pa no sha na ging uh I mean reaction ng mg parents mo or relatives mo.
• 12:22
  SPEAKER_03: Anuba ng open ka bakaga, anatang.
• 12:25
  SPEAKER_04: Kasi aking, anoto na, ki ba ying generation ko, no.
• 12:28
  SPEAKER_04: So ka I I come from a don't ask, don't tell generation, no.
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_04: So ng time ko ng bata ko, even in my early twenties, ying na man usa yung coming out, no.
• 12:37
  SPEAKER_04: So, ng what I I I think definitely my parents yun, no.
• 12:43
  SPEAKER_04: So ng I remember no fourth year high school kame, dos all boys, Catholic all boys school nah.
• 12:48
  SPEAKER_04: Pina kawagima parents na me, no.
• 12:50
  SPEAKER_04: So, mm ng ng ng prefect of discipline.
• 12:53
  SPEAKER_04: You know, sa psilad, asina bina oh, parang yung adak nyo, a bakla bakapapo, parang yang.
• 13:00
  SPEAKER_04: So, gusuna min pa gwale hi wahi wale yin sila, no.
• 13:03
  SPEAKER_04: So parang do we should minimize.
• 13:06
  SPEAKER_04: Salaga ngana nyo word.
• 13:09
  SPEAKER_04: Yes.
• 13:09
  SPEAKER_04: Oh yes.
• 13:10
  SPEAKER_04: Wow.
• 13:10
  SPEAKER_04: So I mean men, kasek kasang me babi ki be ki bar kada kame no.
• 13:16
  SPEAKER_04: So high school levels mag parang were quite close, no.
• 13:21
  SPEAKER_04: So mema me ma older batches kame.
• 13:24
  SPEAKER_04: Nay they totally hit the parang ma prefect with discipline.
• 13:29
  SPEAKER_04: So I mean parang of course in the church we say or yung mga traditionists, we say nawalang discrimination or whatever, you know.
• 13:36
  SPEAKER_04: So but during that time, parang there was explicit uh parang.
• 13:40
  SPEAKER_04: I mean something like that.
• 13:44
  SPEAKER_04: And I experienced that.
• 13:46
  SPEAKER_04: So I mean we cannot we cannot gloss over that.
• 13:51
  SPEAKER_04: So uh yung dat go.
• 13:54
  SPEAKER_04: So my dad went so I remember parang parang y made prior to him being called by the principal.
• 14:05
  SPEAKER_04: So after after that conversation, that go, paran please stop from parang al minimize spending time with them.
• 14:13
  SPEAKER_04: Paranga parang yung parents ka mangina m sila rigid or strict.
• 14:18
  SPEAKER_04: Okay.
• 14:18
  SPEAKER_03: So Dika ng parang bid bog uh.
• 14:27
  SPEAKER_04: So but uh they let me and my brother parari parango take charge of our lives.
• 14:33
  SPEAKER_04: So even when bata ka me parang, we are given responsibilities, so they trust us enough, no, so to make to make the right decision.
• 14:43
  SPEAKER_04: So mejo made freedom, I mean, restricted yung childhood and growing up, no.
• 14:49
  SPEAKER_04: So kasi yung yung pay, yung yung style ni la ng palan.
• 14:52
  SPEAKER_03: Pero kin na wusab ka dila regarding your situation.
• 14:54
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, yang, paraang us.
• 14:59
  SPEAKER_04: Parang y lang.
• 15:00
  SPEAKER_04: So after after that meeting with the prefect of discipline, we la ng sin na binyalang na para minimize mala lang yung yung paglabas ma videm di ba.
• 15:08
  SPEAKER_04: Tapas yang da kasit, kinde, I would invite my gay friends sabai na me, no so.
• 15:13
  SPEAKER_04: They would enter caterangsan.
• 15:16
  SPEAKER_03: Tapos yung during this uh yang uh journey muna yan, sa same sexa.
• 15:20
  SPEAKER_03: Likarong ka ba ng relationship uh brother?
• 15:24
  SPEAKER_03: Sure.
• 15:25
  SPEAKER_04: So yung adba parang.
• 15:28
  SPEAKER_04: So from there, yeah.
• 15:30
  SPEAKER_04: My my my own experience is that I I engage definitely in para casual, promiscuous sex.
• 15:37
  SPEAKER_04: So yun yung type So mostly mg sexual, mga casual encounter.
• 15:42
  SPEAKER_04: I did have a boyfriend, also uh spreading.
• 15:46
  SPEAKER_04: Para ng predominantly in my in my in the in my practice of the gay life, it could see more the casual, promiscuous uh sexual relationship type, you know.
• 15:56
  SPEAKER_04: So that I I pursue for most of my adult life.
• 16:04
  SPEAKER_04: Definitely.
• 16:16
  SPEAKER_04: We saw a woman selling maganyang ma porn, be porn maga visa states.
• 16:23
  SPEAKER_04: So we would rent, we would leave.
• 16:25
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, so definitely parang I was into porn, so from first year high school onward.
• 16:31
  SPEAKER_03: During the time, sa tao?
• 16:34
  SPEAKER_04: I think yung usual, no, so yun pao kana, sodoming gum mora story, no so or uh church people.
• 16:44
  SPEAKER_04: Ma church people no so yan pa na sigure yung yung maga mga stereotypic stereotypical side comment, no.
• 16:54
  SPEAKER_04: So I mean the m I mean that's reality.
• 16:58
  SPEAKER_04: So lata mandayo we make we make side comments.
• 17:00
  SPEAKER_04: So I can just I can just dwell on my how it how how how I felt about those.
• 17:07
  SPEAKER_04: So I thought very quite hurtful.
• 17:12
  SPEAKER_03: And how was your fate during that time?
• 17:14
  SPEAKER_03: So curious how brother.
• 17:16
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, ever since, parang meajung danam, parang I don't know, parang because of my family, so uh mmaga saradung katal y to yung pak miya so na so.
• 17:28
  SPEAKER_03: Uh okay.
• 17:30
  SPEAKER_04: And then apagoli weekles, I mean we practice.
• 17:36
  SPEAKER_04: We're the type of Catholic.
• 17:39
  SPEAKER_04: Uh send rosary ka me g nya.
• 17:41
  SPEAKER_04: So then I went to Catholic All Boys School.
• 17:44
  SPEAKER_04: I I value my Catholic faith.
• 17:46
  SPEAKER_04: So I I like praying, bata ko, I enjoy I enjoy the devotions.
• 17:53
  SPEAKER_04: Even when I started to become active in the gay lifestyle, uh from 18 onwards, I'm not gonna be able to do that.
• 18:11
  SPEAKER_04: So ka pa giribba na, I I committed a homosexual act.
• 18:14
  SPEAKER_04: Did yung yon no?
• 18:16
  SPEAKER_04: So bat pak mamas.
• 18:17
  SPEAKER_03: So aware, aso.
• 18:21
  SPEAKER_04: I'm at school.
• 18:23
  SPEAKER_04: So uh, alam kuna mg nyung piece.
• 18:25
  SPEAKER_04: That's nice.
• 18:26
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah I need yung yung first part, yung early twenties.
• 18:32
  SPEAKER_04: Of course I feel guilty about the homosexual act, and I will I will be hard on myself, no.
• 18:38
  SPEAKER_04: So I remember college I tried to become straight, no, so detective, no.
• 18:46
  SPEAKER_04: So, in a sense, I continue to experience powerful saint, no.
• 18:50
  SPEAKER_04: So, parang komaga, I was being hard on myself.
• 18:55
  SPEAKER_04: Despite my good intention of wanting to become safe, I continue to experience change.
• 19:00
  SPEAKER_04: So, yon so parang and me maganda yung feeling na yang saka.
• 19:04
  SPEAKER_04: Depressive yon.
• 19:05
  SPEAKER_04: And in fact, paran there was a moment na in my depressive cycle.
• 19:09
  SPEAKER_04: I understood why some people would take lives or we choose to take take under lives.
• 19:15
  SPEAKER_04: So, vicious cycle na parang op de at least that was my defense.
• 19:20
  SPEAKER_04: So thankfully for me, mejo maganda na m yung mental health ko.
• 19:24
  SPEAKER_04: Yung nung yuna yung kokros na idea says.
• 19:30
  SPEAKER_04: And then parang figure to save myself, parang bakuba pinang iira pa na sarika.
• 19:36
  SPEAKER_04: Embrace kuna lang yung gay identity pain.
• 19:38
  SPEAKER_04: So But I still also continue to practice my Catholic faith.
• 19:43
  SPEAKER_04: So para ng yar sak apart mentalized when I'm when I'm being gay, daba so you embrace company yung gay ko, I I enjoyed the moment, I enjoyed every everything about it, my gay friends, the the gay lifestyle, even the the homosexual encounters.
• 20:01
  SPEAKER_04: So and then when I go to church, I enjoy my church activities.
• 20:11
  SPEAKER_03: I can at least eat communion, so you also go to confession ba.
• 20:18
  SPEAKER_04: So communion makes confession makule bang to holy bell.
• 20:29
  SPEAKER_03: Wow.
• 20:35
  SPEAKER_03: Parang bi na balok tot nanila yung truth, just to ma nulang ma rationalize yung kanilanggi naga wa.
• 20:42
  SPEAKER_03: Ensa yo talagang nan dun yung journey mu talagang magbag.
• 20:46
  SPEAKER_03: A bagu yin sa rili mo.
• 20:48
  SPEAKER_04: Yung Itik yung yung conversion.
• 20:51
  SPEAKER_04: Yung desire pra conversion.
• 20:52
  SPEAKER_04: Parang kasigori yung pa giung express nan.
• 20:56
  SPEAKER_04: Parang journey, sa yung kung yung kung bag n disa yung parang.
• 20:59
  SPEAKER_04: Biso kung maging.
• 21:00
  SPEAKER_04: Kuna muna de bada wasat moment nagisa k mg pakala la kh.
• 21:03
  SPEAKER_04: So yun yung desire kang na conversion.
• 21:05
  SPEAKER_04: Parang ni sang nag work for ni.
• 21:07
  SPEAKER_04: Tapa s yang parang, so yun embrace kuna ng paging gay, no.
• 21:10
  SPEAKER_04: So, ng time na yung wulakung desire na maging la la pe for kut.
• 21:14
  SPEAKER_04: Kinang kap kun na na Iam a saying sex attracted, no.
• 21:17
  SPEAKER_04: So uh perang time na yon parang in my mind yakama shadung negror romantic relationship.
• 21:24
  SPEAKER_04: Kasi feeling ko if I get into it so much, I will I will even parang put myself more deeply into the gay life.
• 21:32
  SPEAKER_04: So, I mean yung nyang parang time nag.
• 21:34
  SPEAKER_04: So I I was contented with casual sexual encounters.
• 21:37
  SPEAKER_04: So uh tapos.
• 21:40
  SPEAKER_04: Pero parang ne paral movement, no.
• 21:42
  SPEAKER_04: So yung paral movement with uh a deepening relationship with life.
• 21:46
  SPEAKER_04: So yung parang counter price in a personal way.
• 21:50
  SPEAKER_04: I thought that it speaks to me in the circumstances of my life, so in prayer time or to other people also so palalim na palalim yo no.
• 21:59
  SPEAKER_04: So even So for example, even in my early 20s, I would go on my annual routine.
• 22:04
  SPEAKER_04: So thankfully.
• 22:07
  SPEAKER_04: I mean Catholic Tao ka onda.
• 22:12
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 22:13
  SPEAKER_04: So I know that.
• 22:17
  SPEAKER_04: So I mean parang I mean uh kungaga as a as a Catholic, as a practicing Catholic, mean above average pa.
• 22:25
  SPEAKER_04: So I parangko yung parang nominal Catholic while also being active in the day.
• 22:38
  SPEAKER_04: So yun taraga show.
• 22:40
  SPEAKER_04: And then I I pursued both passionately and I deepened in both parang also simultaneously.
• 22:56
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, atalaga sider yo so mutung talaga bogu ying sarili mung brother Eddie.
• 23:03
  SPEAKER_04: I mean I think motivation ko was.
• 23:07
  SPEAKER_04: Not so much na kiso magbaga, but rather to maintain yung intimate connection with Christ.
• 23:13
  SPEAKER_04: So notice because I felt that I have a personal relationship with Christ who speaks to me.
• 23:20
  SPEAKER_04: So every time na mg ku me tak ng homosexual act, or mg porn, or masturbate, I felt na yung yung connection ko kay lorg.
• 23:29
  SPEAKER_04: It's not as intimate.
• 23:33
  SPEAKER_04: So I noticed it after some time.
• 23:36
  SPEAKER_04: So kung pagnir reflection, oh man parang nawa la.
• 23:44
  SPEAKER_04: So intimate connection ywa lana.
• 23:49
  SPEAKER_04: So at the at the start, gana lang sha na parang i nawa lao, disable to later.
• 23:53
  SPEAKER_04: Tasbigla, parang, da pak konek pa na okay.
• 23:59
  SPEAKER_04: So yung homon aktion severs my relationship to the law.
• 24:04
  SPEAKER_04: So yung.
• 24:05
  SPEAKER_04: And then parang gama ting yung point nasi na, I think pasim patate na tung relationship with guys.
• 24:12
  SPEAKER_04: I I wanna, to the best of my abilities, I wanna maintain it.
• 24:16
  SPEAKER_04: So I think so yung yung spark of the end of my compartmentalization was about 33 years old.
• 24:24
  SPEAKER_04: 33 is a significant year, no.
• 24:27
  SPEAKER_04: So yung age nanomata.
• 24:30
  SPEAKER_04: So we all know that.
• 24:31
  SPEAKER_04: Right, right.
• 24:31
  SPEAKER_04: I I also had that, but I thought was a very spiritual 33rd year of my system.
• 24:37
  SPEAKER_04: So I think it was in during my retreat at that time.
• 24:42
  SPEAKER_04: I don't know, parang nakar na ng vision.
• 24:47
  SPEAKER_04: Paran sadly, I understood why parang me yung dynamic between gay persons and in the rest of humanity.
• 24:58
  SPEAKER_04: So uh then also I had I don't know, I had the feeling na parang meer na convocation towards this minute screen.
• 25:05
  SPEAKER_04: So I mean at that at that age.
• 25:08
  SPEAKER_04: Coming from a retreat spiritual, energy waiting, and then sadly making.
• 25:16
  SPEAKER_04: So from from 33, parang from that, or parang junagg consciousness na, I think at a certain point I have to stop making homosexual acts.
• 25:26
  SPEAKER_04: From compartmentalization, nagagets kona na this go on forever.
• 25:32
  SPEAKER_04: Na parang nama ka sa, mg kasa dalonged.
• 25:37
  SPEAKER_04: So paragraph.
• 25:37
  SPEAKER_04: Yes, yes.
• 25:38
  SPEAKER_04: Pero I started to para piro take practical check, small baby steps.
• 25:48
  SPEAKER_04: And then until finally, I I think my late 30s, uh retreat kin kin fest konin kasa for the first time in during the silent retreat.
• 25:59
  SPEAKER_04: Na na na open kasa priest I struggle with saying keto talk, sa nya you know father and gay, daba.
• 26:05
  SPEAKER_04: And then ng si nabien saken, ah di discriminate nya kon or papa galita naka.
• 26:10
  SPEAKER_04: Ng si nabi lang sakin nabi you're not gay, you're a son of God.
• 26:14
  SPEAKER_04: So I think yon yung para siguro, paranakaran nil gna would ng na li wanaga da kudun sa, dun sa statement na yana.
• 26:22
  SPEAKER_04: Kasi sigoro, while alam kuna man malin yung ginaga wa ako uh because I identified myself as we.
• 26:29
  SPEAKER_04: Pininko, if I if I'm trying to be faithful to the teachings of the church, yuna depride ko yung sa rindi di koong si no ako, so.
• 26:37
  SPEAKER_04: Kasi gay nya ba.
• 26:38
  SPEAKER_04: Because I identify myself as we, I should be doing gay thing.
• 26:42
  SPEAKER_04: And the church should accept me for for for my identity as we.
• 26:45
  SPEAKER_04: Parang yung mentality to name.
• 26:47
  SPEAKER_04: But because of this priest, this time priest, nung sinaby yung, made me aware of a bigger sense of identity in that of a son of God.
• 26:56
  SPEAKER_04: Na parang na realize kna, okay, so I'm a son of God who has the same sex attraction.
• 27:02
  SPEAKER_04: So if I choose not to opt on my same sex attraction, in keeping with the teachings of your church, so in fact, I what I'm doing is I'm fulfilling my destiny.
• 27:15
  SPEAKER_04: It's a son of God.
• 27:16
  SPEAKER_04: So, who is faithful to the church, who strives to be holy, strives to grow in my people.
• 27:21
  SPEAKER_04: Parangan yung yung yung change of perspective na ginam.
• 27:26
  SPEAKER_04: I don't know, opened up my mind and opened up my heart, parang to follow God.
• 27:36
  SPEAKER_04: Resistance on my end, na parang na.
• 27:39
  SPEAKER_04: When I identified myself as resistance is coming for the fact, ng pa trace deprived koin sa li ko di.
• 27:47
  SPEAKER_04: So, parang.
• 27:48
  SPEAKER_06: Right.
• 27:49
  SPEAKER_04: Parang kumaga it it overcame that obstacle.
• 27:53
  SPEAKER_04: So yeah, and then when I was 40 years old, no, so na great we canako, and then yung spiritual director at the time, kabinya, o baka ka lang spiritual support dupe, no.
• 28:04
  SPEAKER_04: So,ang.
• 28:06
  SPEAKER_04: So, nikuna mala lang na mea rag gana.
• 28:08
  SPEAKER_04: So uh sabi nya tasami yang and factor several ka road yung most faithful to the to the magistrate.
• 28:18
  SPEAKER_04: So, so action point after the retreat, pak galeng sa retreat, yang ni na na poeng courage, I I set up yung meeting, no.
• 28:24
  SPEAKER_04: So, it was 2014 already.
• 28:26
  SPEAKER_04: So, tapas yen nan parang na ki pak mi tako dun sa dun sa president of courage at the time.
• 28:33
  SPEAKER_04: So, na kato anga yung date na min is Feb 14 pa 2014.
• 28:38
  SPEAKER_03: Valentine.
• 28:39
  SPEAKER_03: Valentine.
• 28:40
  SPEAKER_03: That's nice.
• 28:44
  SPEAKER_04: Starbucks.
• 28:44
  SPEAKER_04: So, yeah, I mean, dik big sa pilala.
• 28:46
  SPEAKER_04: So, gunun parang yung text ko ka sa kanya okay.
• 28:50
  SPEAKER_04: Door, iting the mit ko, no.
• 28:52
  SPEAKER_04: So I para I'm used to that yung kalaka no, no.
• 28:55
  SPEAKER_02: Right, right, right.
• 28:59
  SPEAKER_04: Yes, yes, yes.
• 29:00
  SPEAKER_04: Starbucks.
• 29:01
  SPEAKER_04: So paranganing paran yung kalakaran.
• 29:03
  SPEAKER_04: But I don't know, I found it, I found it to be a very nice touch by God.
• 29:13
  SPEAKER_04: And then be blessed with something, something uh grace, filled with grace.
• 29:18
  SPEAKER_04: So yen.
• 29:19
  SPEAKER_04: So since then, I I I've been with courage.
• 29:23
  SPEAKER_04: So uh I was really very moved by by the peripheral sharing meeting ng courage.
• 29:28
  SPEAKER_04: Kazi parang pak sharing meeting na yun, like any any Catholic group, ng sharing meeting, you talk about anything.
• 29:34
  SPEAKER_04: So even the more personal stuff.
• 29:36
  SPEAKER_04: Pero bagum mga win yon.
• 29:41
  SPEAKER_04: So I am Edwin, I'm aspiring to be chase.
• 29:44
  SPEAKER_04: I've been sober with others, so kaila yung last sexual encounter with a person.
• 29:49
  SPEAKER_04: Wow.
• 29:50
  SPEAKER_04: I've been sober with porn, so kailang yung last porn, kalang yung last year.
• 29:55
  SPEAKER_04: So I thought it was a very powerful part of the sharing meeting in the sense that na gula tak ho, na yung members ng courage, na nag na accountability.
• 30:08
  SPEAKER_04: Grabek parang seven years na si ng sober with others.
• 30:11
  SPEAKER_04: So parang actually, paraang yare na kasi ya hong, alam gana manyung tama or maledima.
• 30:16
  SPEAKER_04: So, kabikity aware na I kept I kept on failing.
• 30:21
  SPEAKER_04: So, parang whal I am convinced, na intellectually convinced na possibly yung possibly na na mging chase.
• 30:29
  SPEAKER_04: Ngya ka ng nini nywala sapuso, kase parang kasa I tried.
• 30:33
  SPEAKER_04: I tried several times and I failed several times.
• 30:36
  SPEAKER_04: So, for me, para is just in my head, na possible yon.
• 30:41
  SPEAKER_04: But because of that sharing meeting, that first sharing meeting, uh yung possibility na yung became flesh.
• 30:49
  SPEAKER_04: So through the witness of my courage, brothers and sisters, na kita ka na possibly pala yon.
• 30:54
  SPEAKER_04: Ki se me magata.
• 30:56
  SPEAKER_04: O are living that chastity.
• 30:58
  SPEAKER_04: So even if we both share the same sex attraction, no, so five men see the same sex attraction, i na pa ka nila sakan na possibil palang.
• 31:08
  SPEAKER_03: So yeah, I think we're power accountability partner talaga no.
• 31:14
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 31:15
  SPEAKER_04: By God's grace, since then, no, since February 2014, I've been sober, no, so I haven't had homosexual encounters.
• 31:22
  SPEAKER_04: Amen.
• 31:23
  SPEAKER_04: Amen.
• 31:24
  SPEAKER_04: Despite despite the many years of bad habits, I think I was actively committing homosexual act for 22 years.
• 31:32
  SPEAKER_03: Wow.
• 31:33
  SPEAKER_03: So you ka nung 33.
• 31:35
  SPEAKER_03: So matagal din palang journing bagum mona tak pa nyung courage, no?
• 31:40
  SPEAKER_03: Almost many years then.
• 31:42
  SPEAKER_03: Seven years.
• 31:42
  SPEAKER_03: Seven years.
• 31:42
  SPEAKER_03: Oh.
• 31:47
  SPEAKER_04: I n ng man.
• 31:48
  SPEAKER_04: Yung high school bar kada dokalder.
• 31:50
  SPEAKER_04: Like, sila yung sikura kung i di describe closeness among my many friends, no.
• 31:56
  SPEAKER_04: So sila yung sa sabi kwa na they're like almost like family to me.
• 32:00
  SPEAKER_04: Kasi we grew up together.
• 32:01
  SPEAKER_04: So and I I continue to be friends with them, no.
• 32:04
  SPEAKER_04: So talaga, I mean yung parang naysay.
• 32:11
  SPEAKER_04: Parang they they they already knew that I was very religious, you know.
• 32:15
  SPEAKER_04: So kait ng elementary.
• 32:17
  SPEAKER_03: So get a respect on nilayon, okay.
• 32:19
  SPEAKER_04: I mean, correct.
• 32:25
  SPEAKER_04: So they they recognize na my faith is valuable to me.
• 32:30
  SPEAKER_04: In fact, some of them are also very very prayerful too.
• 32:33
  SPEAKER_04: So magaparang, kapaga game, parang ngalaka, pen na girls together, but it does it.
• 32:40
  SPEAKER_04: So I mean it's tarang this part of our value.
• 32:46
  SPEAKER_04: One of the shared values as friends.
• 32:48
  SPEAKER_04: So alam na manila na very choko, alam na manila na trustity yung goal, no.
• 32:53
  SPEAKER_03: So pa no kanaging president.
• 32:57
  SPEAKER_03: Pan no pa naging jo.
• 32:58
  SPEAKER_03: Kasi dipa na from ordinary members lagi president ka pa na ging journey mudun.
• 33:03
  SPEAKER_04: A min ni na manga parang nina mg very complex na process.
• 33:08
  SPEAKER_04: So I think it's more like sina bayung members na hak pay who can take on more administrative roles.
• 33:15
  SPEAKER_04: It's I think it's more like that.
• 33:17
  SPEAKER_04: So, I also decided several months after na to take a sabbatical from corporate life.
• 33:27
  SPEAKER_04: So I felt kasi na when I joined courage, parang wow, itun yung itun ng sa got ng gyos na after praying for so many years na for him to parang to save me from homosexuality, the homosexuality.
• 33:42
  SPEAKER_04: So parang y ko si nagut na ko ng in a very concrete way, no.
• 33:46
  SPEAKER_04: So he led me to courage, he led me to parang who I thought were parang were people na striving for holiness, no so paragada.
• 33:54
  SPEAKER_04: So and then parang gusto kotalaga chat, no, yung in terms of uh yung experience, yung encounter community.
• 34:01
  SPEAKER_04: So yeah, parang yung time na yon ng kaka guludin yung corporate career ko.
• 34:07
  SPEAKER_04: I mean, not not because of me, no.
• 34:09
  SPEAKER_04: So paran, there was a corporate cheek up of the company I worked for.
• 34:13
  SPEAKER_04: Gusta lang girl reach every weekend, weekend.
• 34:17
  SPEAKER_04: So I I did not think that.
• 34:19
  SPEAKER_04: So I decided to give a corporate life and to devote myself.
• 34:24
  SPEAKER_04: So uh, it's the like the proverbial find me the pearl of great price.
• 34:33
  SPEAKER_04: So, alam yung pag na pag na kua mosha, you cannot not I could not I could not not have chosen.
• 34:41
  SPEAKER_04: Exchange values talaga just right I I are beyond compare.
• 34:48
  SPEAKER_04: The value it offers to me is beyond compared.
• 34:51
  SPEAKER_04: So um, so because I didn't have a corporate job, no, I had more time because I could volunteer to do things for courage.
• 35:00
  SPEAKER_04: So, volunteer ako, I I'm an active member, no, so eventually I got voted as president.
• 35:11
  SPEAKER_04: I mean kas ka complex.
• 35:13
  SPEAKER_04: And me, it isn't as big a deal as maybe in other communities.
• 35:18
  SPEAKER_03: Right, right.
• 35:19
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 35:20
  SPEAKER_03: Pero, brother Edwin, yes, journey mo from uh SS8 tasging pool chase and na sovert sa bang homosexual act.
• 35:32
  SPEAKER_03: Na did not parang na realize yung SS.
• 35:38
  SPEAKER_03: Na contemplate mo pa n sa nang sale simula yang.
• 35:41
  SPEAKER_04: Aksu di ng y interview ya ko for the first time yung na feb fourteen, twenty fourteen.
• 35:51
  SPEAKER_04: Yes, yes.
• 35:51
  SPEAKER_04: Parang kinismis ko yung idea na yon na.
• 35:54
  SPEAKER_04: In the sense, na parang, I I come from a good family, na.
• 35:57
  SPEAKER_04: So by God's grace, never in my life, na, so family life ko.
• 36:03
  SPEAKER_04: Mag na karo ng crisis, so it also.
• 36:06
  SPEAKER_04: I mean, mi na man naga awa y mga de parents ko, bi na man.
• 36:10
  SPEAKER_04: I didn't feel threatened at any time in their marriage na maggi bala y zila, no.
• 36:16
  SPEAKER_04: So, mm-hmm.
• 36:16
  SPEAKER_04: Uh nika mgama, kami ma hira.
• 36:19
  SPEAKER_04: So we were we were we were well provided for.
• 36:22
  SPEAKER_04: I went to good day, they sent us to good schools.
• 36:25
  SPEAKER_04: So parango maga parang sakto.
• 36:28
  SPEAKER_04: Parangila.
• 36:28
  SPEAKER_04: Tapas parang na isi familia kong.
• 36:31
  SPEAKER_04: So me, sa it does not apply to me.
• 36:36
  SPEAKER_04: I mean, I was listening.
• 36:37
  SPEAKER_04: But until in a sharing meeting, very so courage brother na sabi yana na uhishu nya was he has a mother issue.
• 36:45
  SPEAKER_04: So parang pasa na bangita lang.
• 36:47
  SPEAKER_04: Because niggang, parang na pa yi se pakomanda issue teka muna.
• 36:51
  SPEAKER_04: Pana i I I know na for many, for most of my adult life, I had this parang irrational, irritating feeling towards my mother.
• 37:00
  SPEAKER_04: I remember in in the sile, in the silent retreats that I would go to, ndiko yung ni kasa nindi koy di disclose menin na kong sain che.
• 37:09
  SPEAKER_04: Parang gini disclos that na para sa ming kuma explain na irrational irritation towards my mother.
• 37:16
  SPEAKER_08: So, mm-hmm.
• 37:17
  SPEAKER_04: So, yan, parang because of chinering yin ysa courage father.
• 37:22
  SPEAKER_04: Mother issue.
• 37:23
  SPEAKER_04: Pa yan, parang, so anyway, ya parang taka kaka reflect on that, no.
• 37:27
  SPEAKER_04: So, na realize kon na parang maybe a subconscious part of me is blaming my mother for my side sex reaction.
• 37:35
  SPEAKER_04: Ksa yang ng yare.
• 37:36
  SPEAKER_04: Saka sa she came from a broken family, you know.
• 37:39
  SPEAKER_04: So yung yung yung nana yang yung la la ko is parang wife number six or seven.
• 37:44
  SPEAKER_04: Tasi la yung elder of two children, sa ny chang younger brother, yung.
• 37:48
  SPEAKER_04: Pero yin wala y sila n ng kata y nila yang.
• 37:51
  SPEAKER_04: So, and because this was circa 1915, 1960, single-income family yung la ngaka kabaho, uh, walang chai siung mom, yung uh life became difficult for them.
• 38:02
  SPEAKER_04: And because yung mom k yung elder child, she had to step up.
• 38:06
  SPEAKER_04: She had to be a working student, parang she had to hustle and parang to be aggressive, no, cause yeah, she needs able to survive.
• 38:14
  SPEAKER_04: And yung yung same traits that that she needed to acquire to survive, dina la nyo yung sa family na min.
• 38:22
  SPEAKER_04: So, sa family na min, yung family dynamics more dominant than my income, so must bread ginner.
• 38:32
  SPEAKER_04: So ring yung mas ambitious, must driven career, no, so whereas you know.
• 38:37
  SPEAKER_04: So I think the imbalance of power that we know.
• 38:41
  SPEAKER_04: So I thought na effeminacy as para as evidenced by my mother is a more effective strategy, you know.
• 38:53
  SPEAKER_04: So ngbatako idol, na idol kay na.
• 38:56
  SPEAKER_04: I mean parang I thought na my father was walang walang ambition, pero na na teenager o ko parang na griver si na, you na?
• 39:03
  SPEAKER_04: Parang love na lain tate ko karing na naik ka parang.
• 39:07
  SPEAKER_04: Of course I love my mother, of course I respect her, na.
• 39:10
  SPEAKER_04: So I'm very lang irrational irritation.
• 39:15
  SPEAKER_04: So every little thing that she does gets to me.
• 39:18
  SPEAKER_04: So parang.
• 39:20
  SPEAKER_04: Yun.
• 39:21
  SPEAKER_04: So and I remember tandan la katana ng, na sa na sa adoration chapa la ko, na.
• 39:27
  SPEAKER_04: So I ng ni re reflect kuto.
• 39:29
  SPEAKER_04: Tas big langsly, para hong ng nan la megat milagna.
• 39:33
  SPEAKER_04: Parang ngba sa weird, para out of the blue bnat.
• 39:36
  SPEAKER_04: Tas pak we kbay.
• 39:38
  SPEAKER_04: Talgoma totul lug muna ako.
• 39:40
  SPEAKER_04: So na tulug muna naka.
• 39:41
  SPEAKER_04: Tis big lang suddenly yung mam ko y na kita kosa kwarto.
• 39:45
  SPEAKER_04: And then nina na kong soup, na parang para.
• 39:49
  SPEAKER_04: My mom was not a doting type.
• 39:51
  SPEAKER_04: Pasi career.
• 39:52
  SPEAKER_04: So yi chay yung doting type.
• 39:55
  SPEAKER_04: But at that particular moment, no son paran she was very doting to me.
• 39:58
  SPEAKER_04: So anyway, in that adoration prayer, what what came to me was something like, uh, yina, nirefleck yung boy na naiko.
• 40:06
  SPEAKER_04: Na parang na irin subconscious ni na yi vi ta ka sa na na kang sini sisi si pa y naikko kasinagim baklaka.
• 40:12
  SPEAKER_04: But I cannot also blame her, no, because she was also a victim of her own circum.
• 40:16
  SPEAKER_04: And I remember, ah, isisa mga kina ivi taka sa nana i ko is, parang yung kata yko pina gibbigang sala ging.
• 40:23
  SPEAKER_04: So, karang parang kin figure out to yung gana na na.
• 40:26
  SPEAKER_04: Parang what I thought were irritable waivers of my mom.
• 40:29
  SPEAKER_04: Right.
• 40:29
  SPEAKER_04: Parang kinokdo ng kada kona.
• 40:31
  SPEAKER_04: Parang batin that in that prayers adoration shapoy, parang God made me realize na my mom needed a husband like my father and sons like my elder brother and I.
• 40:43
  SPEAKER_04: So that marang dhaman na yung true love of a man that she didn't see or she did not receive from her own father.
• 40:51
  SPEAKER_04: Parang.
• 40:51
  SPEAKER_04: So parangaling lang ng idea na as God heals me.
• 40:59
  SPEAKER_03: So, divine intervention talagain pa nung talaga pa ngabin no nan just no na eming yung na gin journey mo.
• 41:13
  SPEAKER_03: And nindi talaga instant talagang process so.
• 41:17
  SPEAKER_03: Uh talagang if you will seek God and he will reveal to you, yima kelang an baguin sabu ay mo.
• 41:23
  SPEAKER_03: Kase di ba ndina man yan parang bawa wala.
• 41:25
  SPEAKER_03: Nan jan parin yan eh, right?
• 41:26
  SPEAKER_03: Uh brother.
• 41:30
  SPEAKER_03: So pa num sha lini dil na yon.
• 41:34
  SPEAKER_04: So maraam y stages din jang.
• 41:36
  SPEAKER_04: So na sempre parang jsa beginning, ne m ng tinatawang na aesthetical tactic, yung uh disciplining.
• 41:44
  SPEAKER_04: So I remember yung this sa mga wun na kung nan sa courage yung yung custody of the eyes.
• 41:50
  SPEAKER_04: So ng sa courage, or kasi ni research ko chano.
• 41:55
  SPEAKER_04: Parang yang it si parang taking charge of your eyes.
• 41:58
  SPEAKER_04: So nung first sang kompin raftes yon.
• 42:01
  SPEAKER_04: Ay yung kasiya, I mean we are both males, so alag na mina tinga male.
• 42:05
  SPEAKER_04: Yung ba yung.
• 42:05
  SPEAKER_03: Yung ba yung three seconds rule, yung bayang, yung yung ba yung magana yung three seconds rule.
• 42:10
  SPEAKER_04: Uh, parang ba say yung sa yung saken.
• 42:13
  SPEAKER_04: As I said, bam males are very visual, no, so he param uh whether whether whether opposite sex at the same sex attracted.
• 42:21
  SPEAKER_04: So gonna so fang me almenakita ang waapong dumara ting.
• 42:26
  SPEAKER_04: But ng when I decided to practice in custody of the eyes.
• 42:29
  SPEAKER_04: Nga la kada going to church and roachery because big langs go, along kna parain na kame ngwaapang pa da army.
• 42:37
  SPEAKER_04: So mina wa, talagang I chose to look down, daba so yiko sa pining na.
• 42:42
  SPEAKER_04: So and then parang yung first time kung gino mayun, talagang ng yin niga, parakang nag mi withdrawal symptom.
• 42:48
  SPEAKER_04: No.
• 42:48
  SPEAKER_04: So ng talaga na parang every fiber of my being wants to look, no.
• 42:53
  SPEAKER_04: Peroang I was trying not to look.
• 42:56
  SPEAKER_04: So na kikalai, I think yung experience yung shaking and para preventing from me to look is uh what I thought was an experience of dying.
• 43:10
  SPEAKER_04: Para ginit pa lay yung, pakilang dang ng mama ta idea ba yung parangun yung kung bagay yung, parang yung yung senses mung yung yin na nasusun not parang dirung.
• 43:18
  SPEAKER_04: So uh anyway, so yen.
• 43:20
  SPEAKER_04: So it was very hard.
• 43:21
  SPEAKER_04: And then I tried to do it and do it and do it.
• 43:24
  SPEAKER_04: I after some time, naha parang uh I don't know, parang mas na ging natural na kin kakin.
• 43:30
  SPEAKER_04: So I remember nung, I think 20 maybe 2016, 2017, we had uh we had a mission sa palawa.
• 43:37
  SPEAKER_04: And then from palawa chat raptor bakition to island hopping foreigners.
• 43:43
  SPEAKER_04: So I I remember dung na realize for the first time I could look at male foreigners.
• 43:49
  SPEAKER_04: Because before I lost it after them, yung yung afam, no.
• 43:52
  SPEAKER_04: So yung kinataoung ta gay lingo na mga fam.
• 43:55
  SPEAKER_04: So I lost it after them, no.
• 43:57
  SPEAKER_04: So but nung time na yun, I think.
• 44:00
  SPEAKER_04: Nung submission trip n sa para wai.
• 44:03
  SPEAKER_04: They were good looking male parties.
• 44:06
  SPEAKER_04: For the first time I looked at them, not as objects of lust.
• 44:10
  SPEAKER_04: So parang sa ala, nan na gulat lang sali, ngikuna sila pinag na saan.
• 44:15
  SPEAKER_04: Of course I appreciate.
• 44:17
  SPEAKER_04: I see their beauty.
• 44:18
  SPEAKER_04: I see their their beauty.
• 44:20
  SPEAKER_04: Physical beauty na nana.
• 44:21
  SPEAKER_04: Pana parang walana ma sad yung lustful.
• 44:24
  SPEAKER_03: A child of God.
• 44:25
  SPEAKER_03: Parang yang human being.
• 44:32
  SPEAKER_04: Parang.
• 44:33
  SPEAKER_04: So na gula takhano.
• 44:35
  SPEAKER_04: It really surprised me.
• 44:36
  SPEAKER_04: So yung yung si goro yung yung pere.
• 44:41
  SPEAKER_04: So three years, three years after pain.
• 44:43
  SPEAKER_04: So I suppose yung yung yung yung fruit nung yung virtue.
• 44:48
  SPEAKER_04: So yung trying to pursue the virtue of tacity.
• 44:51
  SPEAKER_04: Mena ng ganang, yung mera ng sense of freedom.
• 44:55
  SPEAKER_04: Na yung freedom in a sense na.
• 44:57
  SPEAKER_04: Even if this this person is physically wa wa is physically attracted, na affect.
• 45:06
  SPEAKER_04: But in the sense nain, I I la mg last after that person or to para m to think in pure thoughts about that.
• 45:17
  SPEAKER_04: Right.
• 45:18
  SPEAKER_04: Paramara na chang.
• 45:19
  SPEAKER_04: I can choose to react differently.
• 45:22
  SPEAKER_04: Or I I can react differently than than what my instinct.
• 46:11
  SPEAKER_04: Okay, so what is conversion therapy?
• 46:14
  SPEAKER_04: Conversion therapy is a psychological intervention, no.
• 46:17
  SPEAKER_04: So with a goal of how they how they communicate it is with a goal of retrieving opposite sex attacks.
• 46:26
  SPEAKER_04: So that is natural in all in everyone.
• 46:28
  SPEAKER_04: So yung psychological intervention.
• 46:31
  SPEAKER_04: It's a very niche type of psychological intervention.
• 46:34
  SPEAKER_04: It's not practiced by everyone.
• 46:36
  SPEAKER_04: But it is offered pretty equal for adults uh who want who want who want that.
• 46:43
  SPEAKER_04: So courage is a spiritual support community.
• 46:49
  SPEAKER_04: So we do not practice that converted territory.
• 46:52
  SPEAKER_04: So approach courage is very spiritual.
• 46:54
  SPEAKER_04: So growth in virtue.
• 46:56
  SPEAKER_04: So yung, yung first golden courage is strategy.
• 46:59
  SPEAKER_04: Yung second golden courage is parent education.
• 47:01
  SPEAKER_04: So the the fostering and the development of sacramental light, no.
• 47:06
  SPEAKER_04: So confessions, you carry prayer, no so ding religion types.
• 47:11
  SPEAKER_04: So and then yung three core will be more like love of neighbor, no, so yung fellowship and support, and then chase friendship.
• 47:20
  SPEAKER_04: In fact, the courage encourag the church encourages the development of intimate personal connections.
• 47:28
  SPEAKER_04: So chastity param ikoolung, no.
• 47:34
  SPEAKER_04: So in fact, the fruit of chastity is charity, you know.
• 47:37
  SPEAKER_04: So yung yung deep and true charity, so don't order yung chastity.
• 47:42
  SPEAKER_04: I mean, because if if you're if you're if you're trying to be chaste, you can really genuinely love people, no?
• 47:49
  SPEAKER_04: So for who they are, not just for their physical, for their physical faculties.
• 47:55
  SPEAKER_04: So the goal of courage is a good example, which is Christian witnessing.
• 48:00
  SPEAKER_04: So yung yung yung yung approach courage is spiritual.
• 48:03
  SPEAKER_04: So we do not we do not practice conversion therapy.
• 48:07
  SPEAKER_04: So I think the greatest myth about that, no, so yung conversion therapy is kinoglink ng mga critics ng sin bahain, yung conversion, which is Jesus Jesus is Christ to all is believers, yung that change of heart, yung me kano ya natin tao ng sa gospole.
• 48:30
  SPEAKER_04: So that's a change of heart, so if you wish to be my disciple, you are to deny yourself, carry your cause daily and come after me.
• 48:42
  SPEAKER_04: Yung conversion, conversion of heart, convert moral conversion, also uh which is different from conversion therapy, which is a psychological thing.
• 48:52
  SPEAKER_04: So greatest meeting is they conflate it, ito yung call of conversion, gospel conversion, and it's conversion therapy.
• 49:04
  SPEAKER_04: So they're one and the same, but they're not the same.
• 49:07
  SPEAKER_04: So, yeah.
• 49:09
  SPEAKER_03: And so paun yay yung ng gender ideology, so pa no mi nat by sa mga parents.
• 49:13
  SPEAKER_04: Sigura parang sum it up.
• 49:15
  SPEAKER_04: Uh what people need to realize is yung same sex attraction, gender identity concerns, these are affective concerns, affection.
• 49:23
  SPEAKER_04: So they concern affection, no.
• 49:25
  SPEAKER_04: So it's a ma they are a matter of the heart, no, so so to speak.
• 49:30
  SPEAKER_04: So yung most appropriate uh intervention is really more affective means, more heart approachness, no.
• 49:37
  SPEAKER_04: So yes, gender ideology is a thought error, no, so mi maling pa gise, pero it is yung pa maling pa gi isit na yun is born out of a wounded heart or uh or uh or a heart craving for affection and attention.
• 49:52
  SPEAKER_04: Na, for whatever reason, yung deep need la ta yung me affective needs.
• 49:59
  SPEAKER_04: So lag tao me affective needs.
• 50:01
  SPEAKER_04: So it just so happens that maybe for some people, yung affective needs nativ growing up, na pupuncha pera sa iba hindit, so we cannot escape that.
• 50:11
  SPEAKER_04: No, la ta yo kila mapunang yung it affected So uh yung so to be able to raise gender confident children, parents should love or should show affection to their children.
• 50:24
  SPEAKER_04: So uh so that paran they will feel secure about the love of a man from their father and love of a mot uh of a woman from their mother, you know.
• 50:34
  SPEAKER_04: So and then yung, so then they will be parang they will be more confident about who they are, no, so the the giftiveness that they are.
• 50:43
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 50:43
  SPEAKER_03: And kung magarong kalan chance ngha usa kun nya re si po princesa fiducia supplicants, brother, or blessing for same-sec cops.
• 50:52
  SPEAKER_03: A ningusumung itanong or yi clarify sakanya.
• 50:55
  SPEAKER_04: I think wa la na man, no.
• 50:57
  SPEAKER_04: So uh I thought uh fiducia supplicants was uh was a very helpful pastoral document.
• 51:05
  SPEAKER_04: So I do not alam ko na yung traditionalist and conservative didn't like that document, but me who experienced same-sex attraction and who's involved in this ministry, uh appreciate the the pastoral value of that document.
• 51:22
  SPEAKER_04: So uh yeah, so I pay na parang hai, I don't know kasi ko si ming odizma, but paraango personally, even in ministry, na kita yung pastoral value na yah.
• 51:34
  SPEAKER_04: Na, I think maram the man na mga pay persons, including those in a same-sex relationship, yung father requests in the form of a private blessing.
• 51:47
  SPEAKER_04: So in this public blessing, I think very explicit na man na sin nabid kin la repay sa tissa subitant.
• 51:53
  SPEAKER_04: So, yun na yun para uh, I mean na ang lip service nag lap, the church is open for everyone, the church welcomes everyone.
• 52:03
  SPEAKER_04: Parito, kung ilan ng blessing, diba kong kong ko chingab bini blina pa bless na tin liba bakiking nita o na who approaches a priest in private, diba in earnest, na prdi bar bless yun na manta me di ba yung person.
• 52:17
  SPEAKER_04: Guru lang uh the the the document could have param could have benefited from more precise language.
• 52:25
  SPEAKER_04: So, uh but param by large yung spirit nya I see great factor value in its spirit.
• 52:32
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 52:36
  SPEAKER_04: Brah bay, so forever present, no.
• 52:40
  SPEAKER_04: So uh Nging refuge.
• 52:42
  SPEAKER_04: Definitely laat, no.
• 52:44
  SPEAKER_04: So uh prayer, a parang uh yung uh for sure intercessor, mediator, mother, parang uh friend, guide, no, so lahat, no, so all in mut.
• 52:56
  SPEAKER_03: So lung pas healing m sa mother, mo, sabimo, yung.
• 53:02
  SPEAKER_04: Of course.
• 53:03
  SPEAKER_04: Of course, yes.
• 53:05
  SPEAKER_04: Yes.
• 53:06
  SPEAKER_04: Uh and then also yung uh I think in a personal way, yung yung yung anusaka ni Mary is very sacramental, no.
• 53:15
  SPEAKER_04: So lat ng sacraments ko kase in in Marian churches.
• 53:19
  SPEAKER_04: So na baptize sa kos Our Lady of the Rosary Parish, na confirm kos our Lady of Life Parish, so yung.
• 53:25
  SPEAKER_04: Yung first communion ko sa Our Lady of Lurdy School, no.
• 53:29
  SPEAKER_04: So lat ng sacraments ko to date our Marian in Marion Shire.
• 53:34
  SPEAKER_02: Amen.
• 53:34
  SPEAKER_04: So na nag gurrich dinako, na pan sin ko na parang marami, marami, I've been given access to confession during Marian Teastways.
• 53:45
  SPEAKER_04: So, we parang, of course, I mean, parang quite blessed na y at least yung parok ya ko lagin ni confession bago magmas.
• 53:53
  SPEAKER_04: But parang na me maha moments kasen na halas impossibly na ka maha pang kumpli sayo ta na na na bigan pa ka ng chance na makkumikaya.
• 54:02
  SPEAKER_04: Kaleng.
• 54:03
  SPEAKER_04: Usually biko na teaste of nari dina.
• 54:06
  SPEAKER_04: So uh na noti s koren na early, early years ko sa coura age, na yung yung temptation ko to watch porn and mas to masturbate intensify around Maryan teas.
• 54:19
  SPEAKER_01: So, uh Really talagang sakta yun?
• 54:24
  SPEAKER_04: Oh, while na ging sober ako with with with sex with others since I joined Koread, that's not porn and masturbation adikto na.
• 54:34
  SPEAKER_04: In fact, yung last call kas of porn was December 8, 2022.
• 54:40
  SPEAKER_04: Peace of Immaculate Conception.
• 54:42
  SPEAKER_04: Immaculate conception.
• 54:44
  SPEAKER_04: So yung yung lasko, but by car's grace, I've been sober for uh plus three years.
• 54:52
  SPEAKER_04: So uh with porn and master.
• 54:55
  SPEAKER_04: So again, in the end, the Immaculate Heart of Mary trial.
• 54:59
  SPEAKER_03: Nice, nice.
• 55:00
  SPEAKER_03: And and rosary.
• 55:02
  SPEAKER_03: Uh no, I mean the rosary.
• 55:10
  SPEAKER_04: Especially during the pandemic, na devide every day, every night rosary mata this week.
• 55:17
  SPEAKER_03: Regarding na man sa modern pride movement, pa kating y mo misleading to parasang uh with SSA.
• 55:24
  SPEAKER_04: Wino wana mea nan ng me context kasi yung pride movement, no.
• 55:28
  SPEAKER_04: So uh me history kasi of violence in the Western countries uh against LGBT.
• 55:36
  SPEAKER_04: So kin no polo sila sin nasak na no.
• 55:39
  SPEAKER_04: So uh pinag mwala ng pride was in 1969, yo, m yung yung infamous Stonewall riots in New York.
• 55:46
  SPEAKER_04: So Stonewall is uh is a bar, na gay bar is a US underground, kasing illegal.
• 55:52
  SPEAKER_04: So mi raid si la ng police, so miraid tilang police.
• 56:01
  SPEAKER_04: But for the first time, gay people fought back.
• 56:04
  SPEAKER_04: So no, you cannot hurt me.
• 56:06
  SPEAKER_04: You can no you cannot be violent.
• 56:10
  SPEAKER_04: So yun yung yun yung pushback.
• 56:12
  SPEAKER_04: First pushback, and yun yung restart ng ng tie.
• 56:16
  SPEAKER_04: So uh yun parang it celebrates yung idea of asserting their their personhood, no, no parang uh uh yun.
• 56:26
  SPEAKER_04: So yung yung context.
• 56:28
  SPEAKER_04: So uh so I mean yung kaita m y siba na yun mana natin nag unjust discrimination.
• 56:33
  SPEAKER_04: I think that was just discrimination to be violent to extent.
• 56:38
  SPEAKER_04: So uh parang at the same time it also celebrates yung uh uh uh incorrect sense of identity.
• 56:48
  SPEAKER_04: So yung yin na yung gender ideology, na very reduce yung kaka tao ng y sang tao, sa ka ne lang sexual attraction or gender identity.
• 56:58
  SPEAKER_04: So for example, I'm a male attracted to another male, everything about Edwin is that I'm game.
• 57:05
  SPEAKER_04: So yung si na sabinung ideology.
• 57:07
  SPEAKER_04: So yung yung bung pakata ako si reduce to my sexual attraction.
• 57:11
  SPEAKER_04: So yung yun sin celebrate no.
• 57:13
  SPEAKER_04: So uh as Christians, we cannot accept that, no?
• 57:17
  SPEAKER_04: So we cannot accept na iri reduce natin yung pakata, natin basin or sexual attraction, you know?
• 57:23
  SPEAKER_04: Who we are as persons, we are made in the image and likeness of God, and it's always uh the sum is always bigger than the than the than its part, so to speak.
• 57:32
  SPEAKER_04: So who we are as persons is always bigger than our sexual attraction or gender identity.
• 57:37
  SPEAKER_04: So yes, yung sexual attractions are powerful part of us, but they cannot, they can never be parang enough to capture who we are as person.
• 57:47
  SPEAKER_04: They're only part of us.
• 57:49
  SPEAKER_04: So I think yung difference.
• 57:51
  SPEAKER_04: So uh very problematic for Catholics and Catholic institutions to support gay pride that way.
• 58:01
  SPEAKER_04: Uh singga parang sin celebrate nila yung yung incorrect or imprecise sense of identity.
• 58:11
  SPEAKER_04: Not necessarily sin, yung identity.
• 58:13
  SPEAKER_04: So uh champ pre be mg sinful actions at that point.
• 58:20
  SPEAKER_04: But even then, no yung yung perspective nan ni reduce me pakatao ng sang pao, big n there chat for attack.
• 58:26
  SPEAKER_04: That is that is a fuck error, so uh that the church should not parametric institution should not celebrate, you know.
• 58:36
  SPEAKER_04: So it it it needs to be corrected.
• 58:39
  SPEAKER_04: So uh yung anti-discrimination, sure.
• 58:42
  SPEAKER_04: Parang Yes.
• 58:45
  SPEAKER_04: We're against that.
• 58:47
  SPEAKER_04: So uh so kame sakarage uh kung pride march, what they do is humble kneel, no.
• 58:53
  SPEAKER_04: So uh uh you humble kneel.
• 58:55
  SPEAKER_04: Humble kneel uh pride march taran.
• 59:03
  SPEAKER_04: Uh so humble meal is uh parang eucharistic adoration chain.
• 59:09
  SPEAKER_04: So every member of will permit a one hour uh to do one hour eucharistic adoration.
• 59:16
  SPEAKER_04: And then so 6 a.m.
• 59:19
  SPEAKER_04: to 7am, 7 to 8.
• 59:23
  SPEAKER_04: On the last Saturday of June, so which is traditionally when uh Great Pride events happen.
• 59:30
  SPEAKER_04: So we parakasamin do for one hour, we also pray for an end to adjust discrimination, which which we share with our LGBT brothers and sisters.
• 59:41
  SPEAKER_04: So we also pray for for guidance, so enlightenment, no, so of our sense of identity of who we are as children of God.
• 59:50
  SPEAKER_04: So we also we also pray for param broken virtues, no, so a striving for holiness.
• 59:58
  SPEAKER_04: We've been doing that, I think, since maybe 2017 or something, probably 16.
• 1:00:03
  SPEAKER_03: Wow, nice.
• 1:00:04
  SPEAKER_03: And brother Edwin, why do you think God allows same-sex attraction?
• 1:00:08
  SPEAKER_04: Uh well, parang like any like any like any form of sin or simple tendencies, so God allows that in every human person, la ta simple tendencies, uh God allows that so that we can grow, we can we can draw closer to the mercy of God.
• 1:00:27
  SPEAKER_04: So uh I mean why why are straight people prone to extramarital affairs, for example?
• 1:00:35
  SPEAKER_04: So why are why are uh boys uh parang or girls into parang uh into using prostitute for sex or into watching pornography?
• 1:00:47
  SPEAKER_04: So Latin parep na mangi.
• 1:00:49
  SPEAKER_04: So uh so God allows that to happen.
• 1:00:51
  SPEAKER_04: So back at extrajudicial feelings, for example, or n plot control scam and God allows that so that uh we're given a chance, diba.
• 1:01:04
  SPEAKER_04: Everyone of us, all of us who have simple tendencies to draw closer to his mercy, so and and to be given that time and chance to to convert, to have a change of part actually.
• 1:01:16
  SPEAKER_04: So that invitation is extended to oy.
• 1:01:19
  SPEAKER_04: So not just LGDP persons.
• 1:01:24
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 1:01:25
  SPEAKER_03: And uh na bang na bangit mwa kanina na turuha ng theology, and may na rinigaho na chepre din defend ang uh LGDP, yang homosexual, ganang and sina sabinasabin ng ta'ong to na.
• 1:01:41
  SPEAKER_03: Wala na Jesus never mentioned about sex homosexual acts of the Bible.
• 1:01:46
  SPEAKER_03: How can you uh respond to that?
• 1:01:49
  SPEAKER_04: Um actually sexual ethics and simbahan is based on how on how uh the human person is designed, so yung maleness and female that can be found in Genesis passage, no man, male, and female, he paid it, etc.
• 1:02:06
  SPEAKER_04: Uh what Jesus Christ did was in the Gospel of Matthew chapter 19, what he did was to affirm that Genesis teaching.
• 1:02:14
  SPEAKER_04: So uh in that in that passage, experts of the law, bakatinala Moses mg divorce, no, so of the hardness of your heart.
• 1:02:26
  SPEAKER_04: But this was not so the very beginning.
• 1:02:28
  SPEAKER_04: Uh uh so tapus ki note n Jesus Christing genit is classic.
• 1:02:32
  SPEAKER_04: So kase yang ki chin na sinba na man, ningin na mang sa express in a negative.
• 1:02:37
  SPEAKER_04: So uh, no, don't do this.
• 1:02:41
  SPEAKER_04: But rather, uh yung yung tot is expressed in a positive.
• 1:02:48
  SPEAKER_04: So this is how God designed sexuality to be.
• 1:02:51
  SPEAKER_04: This is god how God designed human persons to be, na ng maleness and femaleness na modalities.
• 1:02:58
  SPEAKER_04: Uh and this is a great myth, no, so and this is what we should celebrate and protect, no, so as God has given it.
• 1:03:05
  SPEAKER_04: So yun yung yun yung source teaching.
• 1:03:08
  SPEAKER_04: So all sexual acts should happen between um uh between one man and one woman within the sanctity of marriage, so all sexual acts, all use of sexual faculties outside the sanctity of marriage is considered a sin, diba.
• 1:03:26
  SPEAKER_04: So, kin ilang homosexuality yon diba.
• 1:03:28
  SPEAKER_04: So, as I said, uh premarital sex, diba mg boyfriend, my girlfriend, di pa kasa pasalana yon, sexy lam pasalana yon diba.
• 1:03:36
  SPEAKER_04: Extramarital affairs, diba, straight ngyon diba.
• 1:03:39
  SPEAKER_04: So uh kasalan nan parin myeon.
• 1:03:42
  SPEAKER_04: Pornography, masturbation prostitution, rape, lat yan, sexual act, the use of sexual faculties, how said that something between one man and woman.
• 1:03:52
  SPEAKER_04: Kose there na se mya soya wala si na mak kitang passage na in that sense na uh do not watch pornography or do not watch do not do rape, do uh homosexuality.
• 1:04:06
  SPEAKER_04: Because it's expecting papa na bagvini gain ng jos ang pakata o sa tin at ang sexual faculties.
• 1:04:17
  SPEAKER_04: So protect hand sila.
• 1:04:21
  SPEAKER_03: Kasi gusun ng ibais parang letra por letra, italaga mba basila yin in the Bible na.
• 1:04:26
  SPEAKER_03: Talagang total si Jesus sa ma LGBTQ or sa homosexual la parang yin yung uh element yin uh kasun langasa, just to prove uh na parang okay si Jesus saganyin.
• 1:04:40
  SPEAKER_03: Pero say go on, brother.
• 1:04:43
  SPEAKER_03: Go on, brother Edwin.
• 1:04:44
  SPEAKER_04: Demarin ng sa saberin tasen na parang, we also need to contextualize yung Jewish milieu.
• 1:04:52
  SPEAKER_04: So um I think for for the Jewish society, uh yung homosexual act says it's a pagan practice, no, so uh historical account.
• 1:05:03
  SPEAKER_04: So, nisha ma shadung that exists in Jewish society.
• 1:05:06
  SPEAKER_04: Because Jewish society was always parang teening niladeba, parang because of because of that actually this experience and so on and so forth.
• 1:05:18
  SPEAKER_04: So yung yung even yung paken and ten commandments.
• 1:05:22
  SPEAKER_04: So uh they already thought and lived the fact that they were chosen.
• 1:05:29
  SPEAKER_04: So they're different verses that taken and nations and practices outside uh uh among their neighbors, yea.
• 1:05:36
  SPEAKER_04: So yun.
• 1:05:37
  SPEAKER_04: So parang pron them, simulaparang Ten commandments, uh not commit adultery, thus parang an uh covet your neighbor's wife, etc.
• 1:05:48
  SPEAKER_04: etc.
• 1:05:49
  SPEAKER_04: So n dana uh yung uh nan covered in a many sexual ethics from from the ethics in the
• 1:06:00
  SPEAKER_03: Kumei isang young pino y na confuse about his gender or attraction, na no ng advice msa nya yan.
• 1:06:05
  SPEAKER_04: Naya, na paraang uh de takpilik yba pi san yba.
• 1:06:10
  SPEAKER_04: So uh pagnila yan mwyung yung tak na who you are, it's much more than y takkly gender identity.
• 1:06:17
  SPEAKER_04: So uh beyond that, anakanam just identity.
• 1:06:27
  SPEAKER_03: So uh good Yeah and pa ng mo y mg marketang chastity villa y sa marketing sa marketing field.
• 1:06:40
  SPEAKER_04: Um I I think yuna asigura pa nag I can just I can just share yung deep joy that I experienced from from pursuing chastity so uh yung masa yang gay lifestyle, masa yung bim woking I enjoyed it so pero after after doing that after experiencing the high parang ne rung talagang deep feeling or lingering feeling na ito na bayong baang uh sa parang na genang parang nien sang naindi kosha ma explain.
• 1:07:13
  SPEAKER_04: So uh sikoro I can I can choose to compartmentalize yung bid each minon si bat.
• 1:07:21
  SPEAKER_04: Targ ni kma da makbohan yung yung feeling nabed na karang italang bayong, itilang bayong kasaya an to bua, italang ba yung kin na yon.
• 1:07:29
  SPEAKER_04: But if you pursue chastity, parang you will experience big doll for sure.
• 1:07:34
  SPEAKER_04: So uh baby sisimo lang in death so I remember nan na testimony yo silip yuri call peg nan abiko nan na um uh brother seager um correct umika nan was uh when i was pursuing gay lifestyle I was experiencing fleeting pleasure but lingering pain.
• 1:07:57
  SPEAKER_03: So fleeting underlying parang I don't know parang basa me cool because I reverse ng yare na so when I pursue chastity I was experiencing fleeting pain no sa mahirap talagesa pidi sa madale so pero correct lingering joy so even so kayo mamiri kayo anagusun yon fleeting fleeting fleeting pleasure and lingering pain or fleeting pain or lingering joy so yeah and looking back so na ging journey mo, uh brother Edwin ting biggest lesson uh nan na totunan mo sabu all these years uh brother uh na yeah very important na you deepen your relationship with Christ I think so yun talagay para I think yung magpapa I don't parang say magga guide mag deed sa yung sa yung basas mo lang ta la mwang pa intensify palalimin palalo lagin palalimin palalimin relationship mo with so through prayer the sake of grace through uh reading the Bible no reading the word of God so and uh making it alive in your life so la all all these things even yung yung holy conversations with other people no so yeah uh and being very docile to Christ yung yung I think yung yung lap so yeah so in short never give up on yourself and never give up on God I mean talagang sa kaapit katalaga no despite ng ka and mutal gang kapit lang ha g question dito brother Edwin so uh sabidito pa no pu nati main tindian ang turu ng simban neon sa pa no ng maraming transgender ong papalit ng kasarien di bapong malakin kasala nan yun la luna kung kid kinit nan nati ng bible na la laket baba ilang angina ang gina wanang jos sa pasimulat bakit parang pina payaga nang same sex marriage sa ilang lugar Na la la kopo ang kwento ng sodomat gumora parang ng normalize naba na bayan na yon nat okay lang pero mapapa ta'aup parang pu bal silanang pa'inong jos kusila i maksi siet babalik sa kan yang plano.
• 1:10:23
  SPEAKER_04: So wait ma'amsay mang qua so pa na good then anybody say no puna ti mantindiya ng turong se bang yon sa pano ng marabing transgender ong papalit ng kasarian it's the same so uh people Francis y na more city shaadress that uh creation is prior to us uh creation must be received as a gift so uh and it's primarily accepting ba para who we are as uh embodied persons as gifts so uh important yon so na na yan the teaching of the church is is still the same no and every one person is a gift you know so embodied gifts so yung yung natawanatin a regalon jos so uh nature uh bagito parang may ma ban sa do na me same sex marriage well kase well they because they're free to do so apparently secular world world so uh yeah I mean my question yung bakat nilagwa eh uh may question uh kung di bapino push the same sex marriage so merung bang merung bang yung ginagwa sa carriage then uh brother kasa parang aung yung yung i bang minis kasi nit sangbaan makeang yakanyang karism bika soybe bang spirit yung ta m yung karisim na minga karism of mercy akarism of accompanion a charism of compassion so uh nani waala kameen uh parang wa lang walang ba lang walang LGBT person ng uh who cannot be saved who cannot be reached and we also be name na the best way to approach such person based on our experiences via affective means so personal relationship yiba friendship so uh mei bang karisin nag simba na kina ta' na apologetic karisin dba pila po yung ya nung de nya na kdi paag debate or na kdipa na kiti pa g engage in secular law daba so uh role puna yo ba so y ni na ming karisin nakarage ang apologetics or or to involve ourselves in baran legislation.
• 1:12:56
  SPEAKER_04: So dare pog ngang community na simba anan n lif si na yun yung karisim nila yun yung gip nila prong from the Holy Spirit yina.
• 1:13:04
  SPEAKER_04: Because it it is an important role.
• 1:13:06
  SPEAKER_03: So yeah and merun na kung gustong ik ta nong sa yudito brother e upload kula atong na ging statement uh kumpa nung sha titi g nan sa sa context mo yeah so sabin eto dating kilalang artista tona me shenpre S S.
• 1:13:28
  SPEAKER_03: So stop weaponizing our Christian faith to hurt people and cloud chase.
• 1:13:33
  SPEAKER_03: I'm a I'm a gay guy and a Christian anak atakua nama pastor I practically I practically grew up in a church and my relationship with God is built on prayer and his grace and not on others people's approval.
• 1:13:48
  SPEAKER_03: I did not choose between my faith and my identity I can have both.
• 1:13:52
  SPEAKER_04: So nating mudito brother so may you similar I was able to compartmentalize it.
• 1:14:01
  SPEAKER_04: So this first part nya I think kata onko deba I mean some mga taong sin baan nila uh parang ni na man la hat no pero me mga mga supposedbi na tao sin ba nga parang fate to be hurt po y me so close debat as big lang sa diri mung na ko sa sodomora deba so na bini letter ni pol to the romance diba yung mga yung mga fornicators danyang e mga gays will not go to heaven deba.
• 1:14:35
  SPEAKER_04: So la ka ng personal relationship di ba meeting mg again Bible passage.
• 1:14:39
  SPEAKER_04: Parang to correct daba.
• 1:14:41
  SPEAKER_04: So and as I said no so karang ang typical reaction ng taong sin ba hansong issues to identify and correct the error.
• 1:14:50
  SPEAKER_04: It's a lagi sang intellectual approach, diba.
• 1:14:55
  SPEAKER_04: So pera sin sabi kung na ang need ng persuit reaction and gender identity is affective.
• 1:15:04
  SPEAKER_04: Pero ang reaction yo poru utak malyan nito da pat do win nyo deba so uh I knew what gives the baso uh param pa mana mante yo ta mana mm sina sabi nyo diba but still you would not para it will be difficult for you to win over a soul right ng ta o is affection dba friendship right so kila la ng mokung si miks and in that friendship you will gain their trust and in their trust then you can advise then you can you can give counsel kasi day sorted thing so solicited advice so uh yung hulin sin na binya I did not choose between my faith and my identity I can have both yeah I mean as I said you know my yung yung experience so I I was active in the D lessa but I also uh was uh active in the thing so yeah uh at least the sa early adulthood so yung yuna ha sikuri yung yung analang jaon sabin yana anapdocha ng pastor parang dumakish simbahan so parang kug na kusha pa'n mira rationalize nya na ohang maging kishan ka at maging gay paranganon I mean malinaw dita ng bada yung pa ging gay sense of practicing homosexual lack paranganon gun so we don't know understanding we don't know yin na parang we don't know katso y na gata my identity does he mean he identifies himself is as gay and therefore he practices really like we don't know uh yung kung context is I mean paging Krishna no tapos practicing homosexual app definitely talagang da pedding yung sa my uh paysa la gang experience modipa brother Edwin Correct parang ya you can assert to master correct yeah so eventually talagang y wala pika i mean as as I have so yeah talagang dikapeding walang grey yeah yes uh talagang dikaped mami lika lang see lord or your uh homosexual lifestyle having said that it takes time so you na parang a alam na mana atin yon di basi we can sirang gus na mata ang si ban na ba para it's a process uh oh so yun yung yeah I mean experience so 22 years of journey bi para kung courage even with courage I still parnolity masculine so for another nine years it's a lifetime of effort and pass the bat to align I with God's way again homosexuality simpleness and and weaknesses.
• 1:18:20
  SPEAKER_03: So kabit ka bit talaga no brother uh Edwin kabit kabit shata homosexual la da karang uh yung pornography me I mean yungun na talaga komon bay and sa gang yang uh brother I mean kas a sense of loss pin rap tis muna yung yung sexual act outside the charity of marriage between one man and one woman.
• 1:18:43
  SPEAKER_04: Dima.
• 1:18:43
  SPEAKER_04: So gonna dinaman yung yung sa prostitutes na porn dintila height streets or na pi premarital sex or mga street or extra marriage.
• 1:18:55
  SPEAKER_04: Well walana same sex marriage to Filipina so 100% of extra marital is heterosexual dahel na practice sex outside the marriage parang champion porn dintila.
• 1:19:15
  SPEAKER_04: Kongaga the scene is that the use of the sexual faculty faculty academic manifestation parang para digit na sa.
• 1:19:31
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah yeah and brother Edwin uh before we wrap up um right now you you you're practicing a chase life so anoba yung nakikita musa single blessedness or you want to have a family yeah no sa definitely single single to me I even when I joined Paris I think in my mid-30s parang in in meditation recognized for myself that I was not meant for na so uh really singles I mean I remember param even college na karinga ngrammatic feelings par to agdu but even then how's the college I cannot be bringing another person into my public being sad.
• 1:20:24
  SPEAKER_03: Oh wow nice uh I mean it really ha uh it takes a lot of grace talagan um taha kin yang gan yang pat uh brother Edwin uh I really honor you as uh journey mung yan na pakaga ling at I'm sure i ka way na giging i lao na kaya e diba I mean I mean hindi m nati shaka ya sa real kum me too lung ng jos yun talagang ng po personal and deep relationship dung kaku kuwa nang lakase talagang ii huhu go ting kanil saka dili man no saka salan ati pari realis nya sayo na eting tama uhang he' he's so patient with us amen yeah thank you and brother Edwin amen uh bagit mumal pagi ying katang pagi ging katholiko brother edwin uh no but i i think definitely because it starts with my it started with my tab so it's important to my life i value i value my catholic peak so uh bak it uh because it parents gonna it is an essential part of me uh it completes me kombaga uh alam kon my catholic peak synthesizes or integrates uh my life experiences my my my capabilities and my my uh different uh experiences it's very important to me and tiers laho si guru last one um anung makokhomet m sa pastoral approach ni father james martin uh uh if you are aware of him yeah I think parang so you know I think mental anathe parang uh gray area parang so yeah parang day daba or parang the way that parang ibay se na sabi nya versus what he does or what he shows parang for ni it can feel seven.
• 1:22:29
  SPEAKER_03: So yung yung yung approach na yaksi can feel sey thank you brother and san sama viewers na kiki ki dige yon sa kanila peding masundan so munun may mga toks kaba uh writings podcast ministry or pan si la mga ging part ng courage philippines So we have a Facebook yung all capital courage Philippines uh may upcoming uh pasa accompaniment uh seminal seminar uh short talking Wins Insular Light on March 21 Insular light keta in a labang um on March 21 so 9 to 12 uh 9 a.m to 12 noon yam so uh it's more like uh param accompaniment talk so there will be panelists no so but I mean people want to listen um on on everything about accompaniment in this in this in this view right you'll be you'll be culprited so uh we will be putting putting up the posters in in our in our Facebook page so that we can get in touch so and then for LGBT persons out there I don't know kasi ng kailand tilalabats no but uh we have a letter recollection so uh if you want to spend time with the Lord then so Holly week uh just during this Hollyweek then March 1 March 1 yeah so so we do offer na man nyo mga like mga letter recollection advent recollection param so even non-courage members so anyway it's about the Lord but param but persons should say tough parameters courage or courage Philippines courage capital tapas Philippines okay uh may rotter or minasura yes so yung last year was the 30th anniversary of courage philines we came up with a book uh finding the pearl of great pope uh so it's a book of testimonies so of various levels of courage across the 30 years so we betina experience yet um so we've already para put that into book no so again you can order that uh the courage Philippines Facebook page or capital courage and then Philippines title berung baya sashapi lasada asakarj chlanta la gainsa Papa L B C lam na min da D uh wow thank you so much brother Edwin Valias uh binige mo oras at akwa sobrang naint sakw mo at uhobisba naka karelit se yo dal makai baman yung naging struggle natin pero yundin yin journey koe kupaga parang sabimo asinis parangs kasalanand den ibay bang alang tainang a pinagdada nan pero talaga true sacrament uh paulit pa balik balikalan talagaf uhlord ay talagang babagui nat bidini singanyas so thank you so much brother Edwin natikawai la ginaming paqdada sal uh please pray for uh for pray for me and pray for us also yeah and brother before we let yeah before we let you go bhagapedi kami ng closing prayer sa ya lang sure so uh you remember that we're in the holy patents of god meaning of the father and the holy spirit amen so let's all uh praise and glorify our tired God glory be to the father to the son and to the holy spirit as it was in the beginning now and now and every shall be worthy and amen mary mother put pray for us Saint Joseph Minister of Salvation pray for us pray for us in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit of the Holy Spirit amen so thank you so much brother Edwin Balias uh so brother and hope to see you in person uh thank you so much brother and give up the good work god bless you bye bye and God bless you brother Adrian Mila here and today in bite ku kayo na mag na aking supporters group dito sa aking akafed community dito saating online evangelization nagi nagawa pedika yung um mag supporters through Patreon sa Patreon dito ilalagiko yung mga face-to face kung interview at mga online interview at magarung kayo ng unedited early access dito sa Patreon ang unique dito pa ting face-to-face interview I upload nating chan na unedited join kayak ilalage ko yung link dito somewhere here or sa description kung maga join saw supporters sa Patreon and sa YouTube mas lower cost yung baba dito Makarun din kay na early access dito sa YouTube bag na ging supporters kuhayo, dito sa mismung YouTube channel nagin member ka dito.
• 1:28:08
  SPEAKER_03: Ay mga karung paina access sa mga online interview.
• 1:28:14
  SPEAKER_03: Ayan mismung live interview ma access nye for members only.
• 1:28:20
  SPEAKER_03: Pero mekach din sa YouTube.
• 1:28:22
  SPEAKER_03: Kung after konang ma edit yung face to face kung interview.
• 1:28:26
  SPEAKER_03: Bago khosha y upload sa YouTube.
• 1:28:28
  SPEAKER_03: Ay mga karon ng access yung for members only.
• 1:28:32
  SPEAKER_03: Ayan so si guru mga one day ahead or five hours ahead.
• 1:28:37
  SPEAKER_03: Ma papa do yukagad.
• 1:28:39
  SPEAKER_03: Yung interview ni yon, bago kosha yi upload sa public.
• 1:28:44
  SPEAKER_03: Par ma ma kajo joy n kai sa YouTube, bilang supporters, ay merung button chans babanang bi junato ko sa an pediny yung iklik para magi members ka yudito sa YouTube.
• 1:28:55
  SPEAKER_03: Sigurun marami ng tata ng Adrian, kala kobba laat ng content mwai libre bahep mi supporters.
• 1:29:00
  SPEAKER_03: Dibami ba edjan, sa Patreon at sa YouTube.
• 1:29:04
  SPEAKER_03: Yes, tama puha yo.
• 1:29:05
  SPEAKER_03: Marami poho nari na encounter na man bagnagmi message kusandaw nila peding ma pa no junga ging interview ko.
• 1:29:12
  SPEAKER_03: After kuma announs, kun nyara na interview ko si Fatur Chadri Purger, so marami na puh kaga ganga nap.
• 1:29:18
  SPEAKER_03: Pero inpossibli pun natin magawa yon.
• 1:29:20
  SPEAKER_03: So kilam pu nating edit yan pa gandahin.
• 1:29:23
  SPEAKER_03: Bago nati upload sa ating platforms, ating mg social media platform.
• 1:29:28
  SPEAKER_03: So sa mwa taung gustung gusto, atat na tat ng maka pa nod ng early access and edited, a yina upload kusya sa Patreon at sa YouTube.
• 1:29:39
  SPEAKER_03: So pedin yun shang mapanod Jan.
• 1:29:41
  SPEAKER_03: Yun yung benefit non, kun talagang gusun yshang mapanod ka gan.
• 1:29:45
  SPEAKER_03: Pero indil lang yun angkatch.
• 1:29:47
  SPEAKER_03: Pag nagi member ka yun ng ating supporters group, ay matutulung an nyun ko, tito sating online evangelization na ginagawa.
• 1:29:55
  SPEAKER_03: Yes, librri nyun shang na ku konsum sating YouTube channel at sa mai pa pang an nating ma social media platform.
• 1:30:04
  SPEAKER_03: Pero tandam pun natin yung gina gamit natin sa mg software, yung cameras, and yung time, yung amin yung yung effort, pokun tana natin yung mages, a hing dipul lipri yen.
• 1:30:15
  SPEAKER_03: Diva sa panon yon na malnarin ng gas, amin pa masah, aniting na bini bigain natis mages, ay me kospul hat ng yen.
• 1:30:26
  SPEAKER_03: So pak nagin member pyyo nabi supporters ku kayo.
• 1:30:29
  SPEAKER_03: Ayy matuto lung an nyoko, dito sa ating gina gwang online evangelization, at magigin part pa kayo ng ginagawa naten.
• 1:30:38
  SPEAKER_03: At sobrang ng nak papa salamba tako.
• 1:30:42
  SPEAKER_03: In advance, kung kayo ay magde decide, na maging ating mga.
• 1:30:47
  SPEAKER_03: Ng supporters dito sa ating online evangelization na ginaga wa.
• 1:30:53
  SPEAKER_03: And alam na man naten na etong laba na to is a spiritual battle.
• 1:30:58
  SPEAKER_03: Na dito sa online na damina ma fake news, mga maling balita, maling information, dito sa social media, enilal la bana natin, etung mga diabolic influence to for giving you a solid Catholic content.
• 1:31:14
  SPEAKER_03: Na na interview natin, na nating ma gues.
• 1:31:17
  SPEAKER_03: Ipag dasal nyo, ipak pray nyo, kung ka yu bayti atao di lord, na maging supporters ko.
• 1:31:23
  SPEAKER_03: Dito sa ating ka feed community.
• 1:31:26
  SPEAKER_03: And kung walaga na mang capacity na maging supporters ko.
• 1:31:31
  SPEAKER_03: I shen pray yung dasal mo ay enaf na para saken.
• 1:31:34
  SPEAKER_03: Please pray pray for me and for this ministry.
• 1:31:38
  SPEAKER_03: Na patulin nating tung magawa.
• 1:31:40
  SPEAKER_03: Kaya ma kafe.
• 1:31:41
  SPEAKER_03: Kung gusun yung po maging partner ating supporters group.
• 1:31:44
  SPEAKER_03: Uh iklik nyo lang yung link, sa Patreon, at yung button dito sa YouTube.
• 1:31:50
  SPEAKER_09: So thank you and God bless.