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JR Butler - Surviving a near-death experience · Quarterback DadCast | Intentional Fatherhood & Leadership at Home

• 0:03
  Speaker 1: Hi, I'm Riley and I'm Ryder, and this is my dad's show.
• 0:14
  Speaker 2: Hey everybody, this is Casey Jaycox and welcome to season five.
• 0:17
  Speaker 2: I'm very excited for this episode.
• 0:19
  Speaker 2: I'm also very excited to announce we have a brand new sponsor to the podcast our friends Lauren Jones and Rob Mann over at Leap Advisory Partners.
• 0:26
  Speaker 2: I could not be more excited and thrilled that you're going to be sponsoring this for the next 13 weeks.
• 0:30
  Speaker 2: Let's hear a little bit more about what you guys are doing from Lauren.
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: Leap Advisory Partners is proud to sponsor the Quarterback Dadcast.
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: Our first core value is empathy, always, and that's why we're proud to sponsor the Quarterback Dadcast for the most authentic discussions around failure, success, leadership, empathy, leading with empathy.
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: If you're not familiar with Leap Advisory Partners, we are your technology partners to help you build with excellence, change your process and adopt your most important investment.
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: Now let's get to today's episode with Casey Jaycox.
• 1:07
  Speaker 2: Well, hey everybody, it's Casey Jaycox with the Quarterback Dadcast.
• 1:10
  Speaker 2: Welcome to Season 5, the tail end of Season 5.
• 1:13
  Speaker 2: And for those of you that are watching this on video on YouTube, thank you, that is a new wrinkle to the podcast this year.
• 1:19
  Speaker 2: But those of you maybe rolling down the car on the treadmill, you are in for a treat.
• 1:24
  Speaker 2: And, uh, but those of you maybe rolling down the car on treadmill, uh, you are in for a treat.
• 1:28
  Speaker 2: Um, it's funny how life everybody, uh, you know when you, when you're, when you're curious, and you and you, may, you, you believe in a little serendipity uh, a lot of good things can happen.
• 1:34
  Speaker 2: And our next guest, his name's Jared Butler, and we have multiple things in common.
• 1:38
  Speaker 2: One specifically a former guest on the show who we grew up with, our boy Jameis, and then also a big mentor in my life.
• 1:47
  Speaker 2: And I think this gentleman knows he's a big mentor in my life, but we're going to make sure he knows it because the mighty John Kaplan.
• 1:54
  Speaker 2: I met him at the end of my corporate career and there's so many things he taught me.
• 1:58
  Speaker 2: The biggest thing, I think, is around conscious competence and really understanding why and what and how people do things.
• 2:06
  Speaker 2: But, with all that said, our next guest is the founder and CEO of Shift Group, doing amazing things for athletes, for veterans.
• 2:13
  Speaker 2: We're going to learn all about that.
• 2:14
  Speaker 2: He's a hockey stud at Holy Cross that upset the Golden Gophers back in 2006,.
• 2:19
  Speaker 2: But that's not why we're having him on.
• 2:20
  Speaker 2: We're having JR on because JR is the dad and we're going to learn how he's working hard to become that ultimate quarterback or leader of his households Without further ado.
• 2:27
  Speaker 2: Mr Butler, welcome to the Quarterback Dadcast.
• 2:30
  Speaker 4: Thank you so much for having me.
• 2:31
  Speaker 4: Casey and I will say stud is probably a stretch on the hockey side.
• 2:36
  Speaker 4: I'm more of a locker room guy, but I appreciate that.
• 2:39
  Speaker 2: That's what your agent told me to say, so I'm a diehard Kraken fan.
• 2:44
  Speaker 2: Oh nice Never skated.
• 2:47
  Speaker 2: I suck at skating, my son sucks at skating.
• 2:49
  Speaker 2: We both look like Bambi on the ice, but I watch every single Kraken game.
• 2:54
  Speaker 2: I still don't quite understand what pinch means.
• 2:58
  Speaker 2: I'm still trying to understand what the hell a four check is, but I love my Seattle Kraken Every game four check is, but I love my Seattle Kraken every game.
• 3:08
  Speaker 4: So so, casey, I went to the same high school that your boy, joey Decord, went to, which is a very, very well-known hockey school up here in Massachusetts, and I know Joey personally too.
• 3:17
  Speaker 1: Wow.
• 3:17
  Speaker 4: Great, great human being and phenomenal, goalie, and I love what they're doing in Seattle.
• 3:22
  Speaker 4: I didn't, I didn't realize that connection.
• 3:25
  Speaker 2: Joey, just, we just signed Joey to five year deal.
• 3:27
  Speaker 4: I saw that and he played great last night.
• 3:29
  Speaker 2: He gave up three in the first but locked down, If you see the highlights.
• 3:32
  Speaker 2: But he had some six saves in the second period.
• 3:35
  Speaker 2: So what a small world.
• 3:37
  Speaker 2: Joey, Joey D, actually random question.
• 3:40
  Speaker 2: Before I ask you another question, Do you know the name?
• 3:42
  Speaker 2: John Forslund?
• 3:44
  Speaker 2: Of course yeah, so, johnny Forslund.
• 3:47
  Speaker 2: So you and John Forslund have this in common You're both quarterback.
• 3:49
  Speaker 2: Dad cast guests.
• 3:51
  Speaker 4: Oh, very cool, that's amazing.
• 3:53
  Speaker 2: I was starstruck when I was talking to him.
• 3:55
  Speaker 2: I'm like this is unbelievable and I'll email you the episode because being a Boston guy and the story he's told on how he got into announcing is unbelievable.
• 4:05
  Speaker 3: I love that.
• 4:10
  Speaker 2: So I'll make sure I make a note to do that, but all right, well, let's get started.
• 4:12
  Speaker 2: We always start out each episode with gratitude, so tell me, what are you most grateful for as a dad today?
• 4:15
  Speaker 4: I am grateful to be alive today, which I'm sure we'll get into, but I have a new appreciation every morning when I wake up and my eyes open and I can breathe.
• 4:29
  Speaker 2: We?
• 4:29
  Speaker 2: Uh well, let's, let's tease the audience.
• 4:31
  Speaker 2: Tell me why you said that.
• 4:33
  Speaker 4: Uh, because I died um 22 times in 11 days, about four weeks ago.
• 4:38
  Speaker 4: Wow.
• 4:41
  Speaker 2: Wow.
• 4:41
  Speaker 2: So if that's not reason to keep listening to everybody, uh, hold on, we're going to get there.
• 4:44
  Speaker 2: But I can't wait to hear that story because I think it's going to impact the mindset of dads and, hopefully, anybody else listening.
• 4:53
  Speaker 2: But it's funny when I not funny, maybe serendipitous or ironic, but when I wake up in 2020, during, like the COVID shenanigans, I started just a gratitude practice and so every day it's the same thing.
• 5:04
  Speaker 2: I'm not like a.
• 5:05
  Speaker 2: I don't go to church.
• 5:06
  Speaker 2: Nothing against people church, I'm just very spiritual.
• 5:09
  Speaker 2: Um, I look at a Bible scripture every morning.
• 5:10
  Speaker 2: Sometimes I have no idea what it means, sometimes it like hits me, but I always in my, in my gratitude work, I always say God, thanks for waking me up today, thank you for my health, thank you for giving me a chance to be a dad today, thank you for a chance to let me be more curious and meet somebody, and it just gets my mind going the right way to start the day.
• 5:26
  Speaker 2: So I think sometimes people say what you just said and just lip service, but we're going to make people believe it today, totally, a hundred percent.
• 5:35
  Speaker 2: So well, oh, cool.
• 5:37
  Speaker 2: Well, let's, let's dive into the, the, the, the, the Butler huddle.
• 5:40
  Speaker 2: Um, I know you're a hockey guy, but you're going to play football today, so tell me who's on the squad and maybe tell me a little bit how you and your wife met.
• 5:49
  Speaker 4: Sure, so I got it's me, my wife, whose name is Caroline, my son, who's John Alvin, but he goes by Jack, so he's the fifth John Butler in a long Irish lineage.
• 6:04
  Speaker 4: Wow, but he is not.
• 6:06
  Speaker 4: He's Irish, but he is not Catholic.
• 6:08
  Speaker 4: My wife is Jewish, so he's Jewish because that's how the Jewish religion goes through the mother's line.
• 6:14
  Speaker 4: And we have two dogs Nala, who's a greyhound whippet mix, who's 13 years old.
• 6:22
  Speaker 4: My wife's had her since she was 20 and we bought, uh, our second dog, who's a 14 pound cavapoo, with the name biggie.
• 6:31
  Speaker 4: Uh, because I am a 90s rap, um, absolute obsession with 90s rap.
• 6:39
  Speaker 4: So I wanted a bulldog casey and my wife was like absolutely not.
• 6:46
  Speaker 4: So we agreed, she agreed to do a Cavapoo, but I'm like, at least let me pick the name, and I always had in my brain a bulldog named Biggie.
• 6:58
  Speaker 4: So we have a Cavapoo named Biggie.
• 7:00
  Speaker 2: So good.
• 7:01
  Speaker 2: I wish I could cue the music.
• 7:04
  Speaker 2: We're a low-budget podcast over here.
• 7:06
  Speaker 2: If I had some tech team, I'd be cueing Biggie, biggie.
• 7:09
  Speaker 2: Can't you see?
• 7:10
  Speaker 2: How did you and your wife meet In Boston.
• 7:21
  Speaker 4: We were both fresh out of a relationship, so we did what millennials do we got on the apps.
• 7:28
  Speaker 4: We met on the apps, so I tried to take her to dinner.
• 7:34
  Speaker 4: You'll love this, casey.
• 7:35
  Speaker 4: I tried to take her to dinner and she said absolutely not, let's start with coffee.
• 7:39
  Speaker 4: I need to make sure you look like you do in your pictures.
• 7:44
  Speaker 4: So we met for coffee in South Boston at Broadway Pastry, and then, four years later, I proposed to her, at the same exact table that we sat at, for that first cup of coffee.
• 7:59
  Speaker 2: That's awesome, that's so cool.
• 8:00
  Speaker 2: Not that my son's going down that path, but my son.
• 8:04
  Speaker 2: You just made me think of a story.
• 8:06
  Speaker 2: I have a freshman in college and that was fricking brutal.
• 8:08
  Speaker 2: I mean brutal that I'm happy for him, but brutal for me.
• 8:12
  Speaker 2: That first week was awful, I bet, and but.
• 8:20
  Speaker 2: But the last night before he left, him and his girlfriend who there's?
• 8:24
  Speaker 2: They shout out Charlie, they, they took a picture of the same table they met at and every time I saw it like for that first week and a half it just like tear jerk or like I was watching a good episode of Punky Brewster.
• 8:36
  Speaker 4: Oh my God dude, I haven't heard a Punky Brewster reference in forever, man yeah.
• 8:41
  Speaker 2: Welcome to Randomville.
• 8:42
  Speaker 2: I'm an ex-quarterback with a screw loose, so we're going to have some fun today.
• 8:47
  Speaker 2: Okay, and then Jack, tell me a little bit about more about Jack.
• 8:50
  Speaker 2: What's he like to do?
• 8:52
  Speaker 4: He loves buttons.
• 8:54
  Speaker 4: So he's 17 months old, he is in his buttons phase, so I call him Jackie buttons.
• 8:59
  Speaker 4: I got him a hat that says buttons across it.
• 9:03
  Speaker 4: Everything is a button.
• 9:04
  Speaker 4: He points at everything he says buttons.
• 9:05
  Speaker 4: We got him all the that says buttons across it.
• 9:06
  Speaker 4: Everything is a button, he points at everything.
• 9:06
  Speaker 4: He says buttons.
• 9:06
  Speaker 4: We got him all the toys that like have the buttons that light things up.
• 9:11
  Speaker 4: So he loves pressing buttons.
• 9:13
  Speaker 4: He loves.
• 9:14
  Speaker 4: He's also in his hitting phase.
• 9:15
  Speaker 4: He whacks the dogs right, like you know.
• 9:18
  Speaker 4: No, there's no gentle, he doesn't have the gentle muscle yet.
• 9:22
  Speaker 4: And, dude, he lights up.
• 9:25
  Speaker 4: When I get home from work it's the best thing I've ever seen or felt in my entire life.
• 9:31
  Speaker 2: I well, I'm sure you have had many people in your life say enjoy it, it goes fast.
• 9:35
  Speaker 2: It goes fast, man.
• 9:36
  Speaker 2: I remember Ryder, when he was your, when Jack's age he's now 18 year old, freshman college.
• 9:42
  Speaker 2: My daughter, riley, is a junior and I still feel like the goofy 17 year old with a bad sense of humor and, um, that's stuck with me, which I'm glad, but he's, I cannot believe how fast it goes.
• 9:54
  Speaker 2: So, uh, just, and I know you know this, but just enjoy every moment, man.
• 9:59
  Speaker 4: So I'm feeling that man it's, it's already going by really really fast.
• 10:04
  Speaker 2: Um, man, it's already going by really, really fast, okay, well, I always like asking my guests to turn back time and take me back to what was life like growing up for JR and share some of the stories or values that your parents really instilled in you.
• 10:18
  Speaker 4: So I am the oldest of three boys.
• 10:21
  Speaker 4: My father is a Hall of Fame high school hockey coach in Massachusetts.
• 10:30
  Speaker 4: Wow.
• 10:31
  Speaker 4: So we all kind of grew up in a high school hockey locker room, which, if you know me, that should explain a lot about my sense of humor and my tendency to swear too much.
• 10:43
  Speaker 4: And my tendency to swear too much.
• 10:46
  Speaker 4: My mother is also obviously a legend to have three.
• 10:49
  Speaker 4: You know college, future college hockey playing boys and you know she came from nothing.
• 10:59
  Speaker 4: My dad was one of five, lost his dad at 16, which I think has a lot to do with the way my dad is to us and the relationship that we have.
• 11:08
  Speaker 4: And I also will say I think a big impact on like my experience growing up is my parents were young when they had me.
• 11:15
  Speaker 4: They met at 21, married at 22.
• 11:18
  Speaker 4: And then I came basically nine months later and I'm the oldest.
• 11:21
  Speaker 4: But I think two things that are super important about the way I was raised is I would call it accountability and work ethic were kind of ingrained in us from the jump.
• 11:38
  Speaker 4: The story I'll use this is like my favorite story about my dad.
• 11:44
  Speaker 4: The story I'll use this is my favorite story about my dad is.
• 11:46
  Speaker 4: I grew up and I tried out for this select team.
• 11:49
  Speaker 4: Actually, jameis was on the select team and I wasn't.
• 11:51
  Speaker 4: Jameis was a much better hockey player than me.
• 11:57
  Speaker 4: Growing up.
• 11:57
  Speaker 4: We had tryouts and I didn't make the team.
• 12:00
  Speaker 4: When you're 12 years old, it's the most devastating thing in the entire world came home was was in tears, very upset, and my mom was my you know, she's a true mom like hugging me.
• 12:14
  Speaker 4: Hey, the coach doesn't know what they're doing.
• 12:16
  Speaker 4: Blah, blah, blah, trying to make me feel better.
• 12:19
  Speaker 4: And then my dad came home.
• 12:20
  Speaker 4: He's like what's wrong?
• 12:22
  Speaker 4: And I told him I didn't make the flames, you know, blah, blah, blah.
• 12:26
  Speaker 4: I was being a little bit bitching about it and my dad said to me he said how many pucks did you shoot this summer?
• 12:34
  Speaker 4: How many times did you do sprints?
• 12:36
  Speaker 4: How much?
• 12:46
  Speaker 4: How many pushups, how many sit-ups, how many squats, how many wrist rolls?
• 12:48
  Speaker 4: And, of course, I was 12.
• 12:48
  Speaker 4: I didn't, didn't you know?
• 12:49
  Speaker 4: He told me I should do that stuff.
• 12:49
  Speaker 4: I didn't do that stuff and he's like JR, like you didn't make the team because you didn't deserve to make the team, like nobody's, nobody's out to get you dude, like, if anything, you have a leg up because of our background in hockey.
• 13:00
  Speaker 4: He's like if you're not going to do the work, nobody's going to give you anything.
• 13:03
  Speaker 4: So that that was a massive.
• 13:07
  Speaker 4: That is probably the best analogy, or you know anecdote, casey, for how I was raised.
• 13:14
  Speaker 4: I think.
• 13:17
  Speaker 2: Did your other brothers go through anything like that too?
• 13:20
  Speaker 4: My youngest brother definitely did.
• 13:22
  Speaker 4: Our middle brother is like a generational hockey talent and I don't say that lightly.
• 13:30
  Speaker 4: He played in the NHL for five years.
• 13:34
  Speaker 4: He represented the United States in the 2018 Olympics, so he was quite literally one of the best hockey players in the country.
• 13:44
  Speaker 4: He was quite literally one of the best hockey players in the country.
• 13:47
  Speaker 4: He did not get cut from teams.
• 13:48
  Speaker 4: Actually, when he got older, he went through it, like in the NHL, like it's a business, and you know he got bought out from his contract, but in terms of like growing up, no.
• 13:58
  Speaker 4: But my other brother definitely did and I think, by the way, all three of us have that in our DNA that idea of accountability, that no victim mindset, that nobody cares, work harder kind of thought process, and that came from both my parents, for sure.
• 14:16
  Speaker 2: Now, did your dad just coach hockey or did he have?
• 14:19
  Speaker 2: Was that his main job like teacher coach, or did he do something else?
• 14:27
  Speaker 4: that his main job?
• 14:27
  Speaker 4: Like teacher coach, do you do something else?
• 14:29
  Speaker 4: He was, uh, he sold used auto parts, which I don't even think is a thing anymore, um, but he worked at a junkyard and he used to.
• 14:33
  Speaker 4: You know people, would you basically the way that business used to work?
• 14:37
  Speaker 4: I don't think it exists anymore, but you'd total like a honda civic, you'd sell it to a junkyard for like a hundred dollars because it was totaled, and then you could sell the pieces and parts of it.
• 14:45
  Speaker 4: You'd sell it to a junkyard for like $100 because it was totaled, and then you could sell the pieces and parts of it, like you could sell the transmission, if it was good, for 400 bucks.
• 14:52
  Speaker 4: So high margin business.
• 14:53
  Speaker 4: But that's what he did until like the early 2000s.
• 14:58
  Speaker 4: And then he switched over to the mortgage business because my mom, who didn't graduate from high school but worked her ass off, was killing it in real estate and my dad saw an opportunity with the no-doc loan era and he rode the mortgage train.
• 15:13
  Speaker 4: He's still on it and my youngest he actually works for my youngest brother now.
• 15:18
  Speaker 4: So my youngest brother is my dad's boss, which I think is unbelievable.
• 15:23
  Speaker 2: Has he put him on a pip yet?
• 15:30
  Speaker 4: I would love if that would happen.
• 15:31
  Speaker 4: That would be amazing.
• 15:33
  Speaker 2: Well, I love actually.
• 15:34
  Speaker 2: One thing I want to say do you remember the name Nathan Gerby?
• 15:36
  Speaker 2: Of course yeah, bc baby Nathan Gerby was a former quarterback dad cast guest as well.
• 15:43
  Speaker 4: Oh, wow, dude, he's awesome.
• 15:45
  Speaker 4: He's really really get.
• 15:46
  Speaker 4: He's one of the guys that gets it for sure.
• 15:49
  Speaker 2: His story.
• 15:50
  Speaker 2: Um, I asked him a story on the podcast of, like, what was like, how did you, how did you know you're going to make the NHL or how did you know?
• 15:56
  Speaker 2: You're like, what were things your dad did?
• 15:58
  Speaker 2: He says, well, what my dad did back in the day sorry, ger'm gonna air you out here, but it's a great story he goes.
• 16:02
  Speaker 2: I don't think you can get away with doing this anymore.
• 16:05
  Speaker 2: I'm like, well, like what happened?
• 16:06
  Speaker 2: He goes.
• 16:06
  Speaker 2: Well, I learned to my hockey games.
• 16:07
  Speaker 2: I started wearing like business shoes.
• 16:09
  Speaker 2: I'm like why he goes?
• 16:11
  Speaker 2: Because if I played shitty after a game, he said get out, you're running five miles home and he would literally just drive slow and why he ran home.
• 16:20
  Speaker 2: And so he's like well, I'll fix that, I just going to wear business shoes so I can't run dad.
• 16:28
  Speaker 2: That is awesome, I think this is true Shortest guy in NHL history, yep, and just an absolute beast.
• 16:35
  Speaker 2: And he's actually the cousin, I think cousin of one of my very first clients in my entrepreneurial journey.
• 16:42
  Speaker 2: Wow, shout out to Leslie Vickery.
• 16:44
  Speaker 2: Yep, very cool, she introduced me to Nathan, well, cool.
• 16:49
  Speaker 2: So accountability, work ethic Obviously, those are stories.
• 16:53
  Speaker 2: I think the story that your dad told is uncommon.
• 16:55
  Speaker 2: I mean, what your dad did was uncommon.
• 16:57
  Speaker 2: It's easy as parents in the day and age, to protect, to be the I think there's a new phrase the snowplow parent.
• 17:02
  Speaker 2: You want to get ahead and make life easy and I, uh, I'm sure you've had moments of adversity in your life besides that, one that you can reflect and rely on it.
• 17:11
  Speaker 2: And, and, dads, we have to remember that what shaped us, or what is continuing to shape us, is the adversity we go through, not the winds, that, the easiness it's, and it sucks going through the hard stuff, but if you can slow down to choose the right mindset to feel, like you know.
• 17:29
  Speaker 2: So how often do you find yourself reflecting back on that moment, even in your work now?
• 17:35
  Speaker 4: Every single day.
• 17:37
  Speaker 4: Every single day.
• 17:39
  Speaker 4: By the way, I love it didn't happen to me, it happened for me.
• 17:43
  Speaker 4: I'm stealing that, I'll give you credit twice and then it's mine.
• 17:46
  Speaker 4: That's how it works.
• 17:50
  Speaker 4: Literally, dude, every day, right?
• 17:53
  Speaker 4: We talk a lot in our business about this idea of resiliency and I personally think resiliency is a product of losing and seeing losing as an opportunity.
• 18:11
  Speaker 4: So when we talk about resiliency, we talk about like you're going to fail, like that's not an if, it's a when and it's how often.
• 18:20
  Speaker 4: And guess what, even if you're the best in the world at whatever you do, it's still going to be a lot.
• 18:24
  Speaker 4: The way that you are resilient through adversity and losses is by seeing them as opportunities and learning from them.
• 18:32
  Speaker 4: Is by seeing them as opportunities and learning from them.
• 18:36
  Speaker 4: And you know, I'm an entrepreneur and I spent 17 years as a salesperson and a sales leader.
• 18:39
  Speaker 4: I have lost way more than I've won.
• 18:41
  Speaker 4: And every time I lose or think about that conversation with my dad in my living room and what he was teaching me is like look in the mirror.
• 18:50
  Speaker 4: What could you have done differently, jr, right, and that's what I do now Every time I lose, right, and could you have done differently, jr, and that's what I do now Every time I lose, right, what is it?
• 18:57
  Speaker 4: It's 1 pm.
• 18:58
  Speaker 4: I've lost twice already today and I learned from it, so it's okay.
• 19:02
  Speaker 4: You know what I mean.
• 19:04
  Speaker 2: And what everybody, what JR is talking about is keep that ego checked.
• 19:07
  Speaker 2: I'm a big Ryan Holiday fan.
• 19:12
  Speaker 2: I love his book Ego's the Enemy.
• 19:13
  Speaker 2: I mean, I'm a big Ryan Holiday fan.
• 19:15
  Speaker 2: I love his book Ego is the Enemy.
• 19:16
  Speaker 2: It's so easy and I think I've seen it.
• 19:18
  Speaker 2: I'm sure you saw it in your sales career and even as a sales leader.
• 19:19
  Speaker 2: You see these one hit wonders to have a good, a good year and all of a sudden, man, I'm elite, I'm the best, and all of a sudden they forget the habits that got them in the first place.
• 19:26
  Speaker 2: And so I love that.
• 19:30
  Speaker 2: We share a similar mindset.
• 19:31
  Speaker 2: Growing up, besides accountability and work ethic, when did you start really appreciating playing for your dad, because I'm sure he was at times hard on you, maybe hard on you than others, maybe he wasn't, I'm not sure what type of coach he was but when did you really start appreciating him?
• 19:51
  Speaker 4: So when I was you'll like this joke.
• 19:54
  Speaker 4: So when I was uh, I think I was 27 is when my dad got inducted into the Massachusetts hockey hall of fame, Um, and he asked me to do his induction speech, which was really, really cool, and what I said at the beginning was like you know, when I was 17 years old, I didn't think my dad knew anything about life and he was completely clueless.
• 20:21
  Speaker 4: And I said, now that I'm 27, I'm just really proud of how much he's learned in the last 10 years.
• 20:32
  Speaker 2: So it was.
• 20:39
  Speaker 4: And the point is like, dude, he knew what he was talking about.
• 20:40
  Speaker 4: Back then I was just an idiot, right like I didn't, I didn't know shit and I dude, I.
• 20:42
  Speaker 4: I think that's when.
• 20:43
  Speaker 4: That's when I appreciated it, I think, even even as in my early 20s I still was like this guy's an asshole and doesn't know what he's talking about, right, in terms of hockey.
• 20:52
  Speaker 4: But I think I had to get out of the game, I had to get into the real world and I had to understand that all these things he was talking about, all this stuff that he was teaching us, wasn't really about hockey.
• 21:06
  Speaker 4: It was about life, right, and I think, until you're in like real life and you have bills and a mortgage and a job and a boss and all these, that's when you're like, oh my God now I get it.
• 21:20
  Speaker 4: Now I know why he was such a prick he was trying to teach me how to be an adult and be a valuable member of society.
• 21:29
  Speaker 2: So that's how long it took me man, tell me, where do you think your dad learned that mindset?
• 21:36
  Speaker 4: My dad was probably self-taught, I think a little bit, because he lost his dad at such a critical age man at 16 years old.
• 21:45
  Speaker 4: So I think he's a graduate of the School of the Hard Knocks and I just think, a little bit hardened by that experience and I lived a pretty soft life but he made sure I was hardened because of how he was raised and what his childhood and teenage years and early 20s were like.
• 22:09
  Speaker 4: So that's probably where it came from, is like forged in that life situation.
• 22:16
  Speaker 4: If that makes that resonates, yeah.
• 22:19
  Speaker 2: Well, we, we share that in common as well with our dads.
• 22:21
  Speaker 2: My dad lost his dad at um when he was six.
• 22:24
  Speaker 2: Uh, my dad passed away in December 29th 2021, um over in season five, uh and season three.
• 22:33
  Speaker 2: I dedicated every episode to him.
• 22:35
  Speaker 2: Uh, the start of the episode, which was um cause he passed away during COVID, which was like you couldn't really and he lived in an assisted living facility so you couldn't really do funerals and he lost touch with so many people.
• 22:44
  Speaker 2: So I was like I got to figure out a way to like just honor his life.
• 22:46
  Speaker 2: Cause, jerry, my dad was the dude that I mean I told a story last week or a couple weeks ago.
• 22:52
  Speaker 2: I had do you know the name, brock Huard.
• 22:54
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so Brock Huard, I mean former NFL quarterback.
• 22:58
  Speaker 2: He's from my area, does work on Fox Sports now and I told a story to Brock about my dad when I was a redshirt freshman playing football in college.
• 23:06
  Speaker 2: He traveled to like a playoff game where I was just doing signals.
• 23:09
  Speaker 2: I mean I didn't do anything, but I'm like, dad, what do you come to the game for?
• 23:13
  Speaker 2: He's like well, I want to watch you warm up.
• 23:14
  Speaker 2: And he literally was like damn man, case, you played awesome.
• 23:21
  Speaker 2: I'm like dad, I didn't.
• 23:22
  Speaker 2: I got in like three snaps.
• 23:23
  Speaker 2: He's like yeah, but you were like 80% completions and warmups, you know, and he was dead serious.
• 23:26
  Speaker 2: I was like shit, like that's meet him.
• 23:35
  Speaker 2: So I always, I'm always curious, like what shapes people?
• 23:38
  Speaker 4: Yeah, um yeah, and and and, by the way, like another, less related, but my mom's dad was around and he actually lived with us.
• 23:47
  Speaker 4: Um, you just told the story that reminded you.
• 23:51
  Speaker 4: And he was a veteran army guy.
• 23:53
  Speaker 4: You know, grew up depression era, kid Right, and there was a time me and my brother one summer, we were on the same hockey team and we grew up in Marlborough, which has the biggest rink in the world there's 10 ice surfaces.
• 24:10
  Speaker 4: It's very confusing when, when you walk in, which games are on, which are in which rink.
• 24:15
  Speaker 4: So we came out, my grandfather was giving us a ride home and you know, we, like I was looking up trying to find him.
• 24:22
  Speaker 4: I couldn't find him the whole game.
• 24:24
  Speaker 4: So we get out to the car it's his big cadillac.
• 24:27
  Speaker 4: We get in the back and I'm like grandpa, what, like?
• 24:29
  Speaker 4: What do you think of the game?
• 24:30
  Speaker 4: He's like man, you guys kicked their ass.
• 24:32
  Speaker 4: Um, and we lost, by the way.
• 24:33
  Speaker 4: And I was like what do you think of the game?
• 24:34
  Speaker 4: He's like man, you guys kicked their ass and we lost, by the way.
• 24:36
  Speaker 4: And I was like how do you think we played?
• 24:38
  Speaker 4: He's like you both played amazing, like really good job.
• 24:41
  Speaker 4: I'm so proud of you blah, blah blah.
• 24:43
  Speaker 4: So come to find out, he sat for an hour and watched a completely different team in a completely different rank than we were in, but he only had positive shit to say to us, which is like, by the way, like that's kind of the role of the grandpa, right?
• 25:00
  Speaker 4: Like just tell us what so he's like Jr.
• 25:03
  Speaker 2: When did you start wearing 26?
• 25:04
  Speaker 2: , that's not my number.
• 25:07
  Speaker 4: That's what we were.
• 25:07
  Speaker 4: Me and my brothers always laugh about that, like you know.
• 25:10
  Speaker 4: Now that my dad is a grandfather, like we remind him like.
• 25:20
  Speaker 2: Hey, you can't be a dick to to our kids Like you were to us.
• 25:21
  Speaker 2: You have to actually be nice to them.
• 25:23
  Speaker 2: Um, I tell you the uh.
• 25:23
  Speaker 2: You made me also think the story there's.
• 25:24
  Speaker 2: There's a gentleman by the name of Bruce Brown that I came across in this entrepreneurial journey and I've shared the story with many dads.
• 25:28
  Speaker 2: This and this dude has impacted me greatly in my life.
• 25:32
  Speaker 2: He lives north of Seattle in a small island called Camino Island, and his Bruce Brown's mentors are people that you might have heard of, guys like Dick Vermeule, john Wooden yeah, of course, you know a few decent names, right?
• 25:46
  Speaker 2: So he, in his journey one of the things he part of, like his research and the work he did he interviewed a bunch of high school college athletes.
• 25:54
  Speaker 2: He said what was the number one greatest memory growing up?
• 25:56
  Speaker 2: He said you know, doing this, doing that, doing this.
• 25:59
  Speaker 2: He said okay, what's your, what's your worst memory?
• 26:00
  Speaker 2: He said they said the car ride home.
• 26:02
  Speaker 2: And so it was like what do you mean?
• 26:06
  Speaker 2: The car?
• 26:06
  Speaker 2: He's like that's where I got just torched.
• 26:08
  Speaker 2: I got coached, and I wasn't ready to get coached, I wasn't ready to get ridiculed.
• 26:10
  Speaker 2: I all I wanted to hear and they said well, who would you rather ride home with?
• 26:14
  Speaker 2: He goes, grandma and grandpa I go.
• 26:20
  Speaker 2: Why?
• 26:20
  Speaker 2: Cause?
• 26:20
  Speaker 2: All they would say is now I love watching you play.
• 26:23
  Speaker 2: And so that what the article talks about is like if he goes, if your kid cares, they'll come to you.
• 26:27
  Speaker 2: If your kid really understands and wants to compete, they'll come to you.
• 26:29
  Speaker 2: And I like at first I was like, come on, that's my job to be in their shit and kind of ride a little bit.
• 26:33
  Speaker 2: So at seven years old and right over seven, I tried it and I mean he had this like routine plate short, kind of dunked it.
• 26:39
  Speaker 2: I'm like god dang it, dude, come on.
• 26:41
  Speaker 2: And he didn't mean to do it.
• 26:42
  Speaker 2: But after the game I was like, hey, man, how'd the game go?
• 26:45
  Speaker 2: I was frustrated.
• 26:46
  Speaker 2: I said why did you compete?
• 26:48
  Speaker 2: He said, yeah.
• 26:48
  Speaker 2: I said, dude, I love, it was so fun, I loved watching you compete today.
• 26:51
  Speaker 2: It was so fun.
• 26:51
  Speaker 2: And he didn't say anything.
• 26:53
  Speaker 2: And then all of a sudden a day later he came back to me.
• 26:55
  Speaker 2: He goes, dad, you know you said you were proud of me, like, but what about the air?
• 26:58
  Speaker 2: I made it short.
• 26:59
  Speaker 2: I was like we all make airs, bro.
• 27:01
  Speaker 2: I said dad, f's up all the time.
• 27:03
  Speaker 2: I leave most quarterbacks last throw is a pick.
• 27:10
  Speaker 2: So, hey, move, learn, let's go.
• 27:13
  Speaker 2: We're good.
• 27:14
  Speaker 2: And so I always like sharing that story for dads, specifically maybe younger dads with younger kids, to just remind ourselves of that.
• 27:20
  Speaker 2: Because, yeah, I think hopefully you as a hockey player in college, you know you won't, you probably won't make that mistake of wanting it for them because you already excelled at a high level.
• 27:27
  Speaker 2: But I think I find sometimes parents who don't quite make it they tend to like really give, want their kid to do what they didn't do.
• 27:34
  Speaker 2: And it's hard, man, it's and so okay, so you have a passion for actually, I don't want to get there, I want to.
• 27:43
  Speaker 2: I want to go back to the, the, the post you wrote, which which brought us back together.
• 27:48
  Speaker 2: So I think you and I connected a few years ago and then, when you shared the story of your health challenge recently, it inspired me to reach back out and say, hey, dude, we got people in common, I think then you saw we were, I had Jameis on and said like, okay, maybe this is meant to be, so bring us, bring us back to that day and share what you feel comfortable sharing, but talk about the impact of what you went through, as how to knew, as a dad impact of what you went through as how to be as a dad.
• 28:18
  Speaker 4: So the Tuesday after labor day, I was walking to the train and I got it was like seven, 30 in the morning.
• 28:21
  Speaker 4: I got lightheaded, I got dizzy, I got really warm and so I sat down and I I I blacked out for what I thought was like five or six seconds Came to, was like fine, I'm like, you know, I got a lot of stuff going on right now.
• 28:39
  Speaker 4: You know, building a business.
• 28:40
  Speaker 4: We've grown the company from six to 22 people in four months, like it's, there's a lot, right, you know, young kid, my wife, all this stuff.
• 28:51
  Speaker 4: So I'm like, ah, it's just, I just had like a maybe it was a panic attack.
• 28:54
  Speaker 4: I'm really stressed.
• 28:55
  Speaker 4: And you know, growing up, you know, god bless my dad.
• 28:59
  Speaker 4: He's given me a lot of advice, but one thing that he wasn't good about was healthcare.
• 29:03
  Speaker 4: He used to tell us when we were little, like, hey, if you don't go to the doctor, nothing's wrong with you, right?
• 29:07
  Speaker 4: So I ignored it, casey, I ignored it completely, went on, had a full work day.
• 29:14
  Speaker 4: Next day I went to the gym in the morning I was walking from the gym to my office.
• 29:24
  Speaker 4: Same thing happened Thursday.
• 29:27
  Speaker 4: I was coming home from the office so this is all different times, so there's no thing that's making this happen.
• 29:31
  Speaker 4: It was like like seven, 30 at night.
• 29:32
  Speaker 4: I was walking home and it happened again.
• 29:34
  Speaker 4: And, by the way, I didn't tell anybody about it, like I was kind of just like battling through it, like I was kind of raised to do like I'll be fine.
• 29:44
  Speaker 4: Then on Friday, what happened?
• 29:45
  Speaker 4: I was.
• 29:46
  Speaker 4: It happened in the afternoon.
• 29:47
  Speaker 4: I was on a phone call.
• 29:48
  Speaker 4: I had an air phone in, I was talking to somebody and I said, hey, hold on, I'm feeling dizzy.
• 29:56
  Speaker 4: And I sat down and when I came to, two things happened.
• 30:02
  Speaker 4: And I didn't talk about one of these things in the post cause I don't think it was LinkedIn appropriate, but I want to share it with the audience.
• 30:08
  Speaker 4: One I peed myself.
• 30:12
  Speaker 4: That was very scary, very scary.
• 30:14
  Speaker 4: I hadn't that hadn't happened to me since I stopped drinking 12 years ago.
• 30:18
  Speaker 4: Uh, that was at one point in my life a pretty common occurrence, but that was really scary.
• 30:23
  Speaker 4: And the second thing that was really scary was the guy told me dude, I was like what were you talking about?
• 30:30
  Speaker 4: And I tried to pick the conversation up and he's like dude, I was just like yelling your name for like 90 seconds, jr.
• 30:36
  Speaker 4: So I didn't.
• 30:37
  Speaker 4: And apparently every time this was happening I was blacking out for like 90 seconds.
• 30:43
  Speaker 4: So I went back to the office, sent a few emails and then I called my wife and I told her hey, this is what's been happening with me, like this is what just happened, like what should I do?
• 30:54
  Speaker 4: And my wife God bless her was like get an Uber and meet me at the ER right now.
• 31:02
  Speaker 4: This is not, we're not messing with this.
• 31:04
  Speaker 4: I went into the ER.
• 31:05
  Speaker 4: It took them for 24 hours.
• 31:08
  Speaker 4: They just watched me.
• 31:09
  Speaker 4: They didn't have me on anything.
• 31:10
  Speaker 4: And it happened two more times.
• 31:12
  Speaker 4: It happened once when I was using the restroom and I I woke up to all these nurses around me.
• 31:18
  Speaker 4: So then they moved me to general medicine.
• 31:20
  Speaker 4: They put a uh, what's called an EEG, which is a brain activity machine, and an EKG, which is a heart activity machine, um, and it happened like four times in 24 hours.
• 31:34
  Speaker 4: And once I had the EKG on Casey.
• 31:37
  Speaker 4: Every time it happened I woke up to like 11 nurses in my room and one of them standing over me with paddles about to revive me.
• 31:48
  Speaker 4: And, by the way, like when I woke up I was fine, I was a little sweaty, but other than that, like mentally, they physically like not in pain or anything, and I'm like Whoa, what are you guys doing?
• 31:59
  Speaker 4: They're like and that's when the doctor kind of came in and was like hey man, like you're going into cardiac arrest.
• 32:04
  Speaker 4: Every time this happens you're literally dying and your heart is stopping for 20 to 30 seconds and there's like a pretty big chance that it's not going to start again if this keeps happening.
• 32:16
  Speaker 4: And I like I was I was very.
• 32:21
  Speaker 4: They were like we don't know what's going on.
• 32:26
  Speaker 4: We need to continue to watch you for a few days, but you're probably going to need a pacemaker.
• 32:31
  Speaker 4: And I was like I'm 39 years old, I'm five pounds heavier than I was when I played college hockey.
• 32:37
  Speaker 4: I work out five days a week, I eat very healthy, I don't need a pacemaker and I kind of fought it and then it kept happening.
• 32:46
  Speaker 4: Finally they, they kind of had a doctor come in that approached me with what I needed, which was confidence and conviction, because a lot of the doctors and this is after having conversations with my friends that are in the medical field we've kind of gone the wrong way with this.
• 33:03
  Speaker 4: A lot of the doctors were like we can wait and see or you can get a pacemaker and we think that will help.
• 33:11
  Speaker 4: And I was like, well, wait and see, like that's a lifetime decision.
• 33:15
  Speaker 4: This guy came in and like really said, hey, dude, like this is dangerous, you need to get a pacemaker.
• 33:22
  Speaker 4: Is it a hundred percent guarantee it's going to fix it?
• 33:24
  Speaker 4: No, but this is like the, to the best of our knowledge, this is the right thing to do.
• 33:29
  Speaker 4: Finally, I was like, all right, let's do it.
• 33:31
  Speaker 4: So I went into surgery.
• 33:32
  Speaker 4: I got a pacemaker, which is scary dude.
• 33:39
  Speaker 4: As a 39 year old, you know the average age of someone who gets a pacemaker is in their late sixties, early seventies, even in the eighties.
• 33:43
  Speaker 4: But they, they put it in.
• 33:45
  Speaker 4: I was in the hospital.
• 33:46
  Speaker 4: I ended up being in the hospital for like 13 days and I haven't fainted since it happened.
• 33:54
  Speaker 4: And come to find out my pacemaker is active 53% of the time.
• 34:01
  Speaker 4: So I have a heart dysfunction Again.
• 34:05
  Speaker 4: I have a lot of more appointments.
• 34:06
  Speaker 4: This is very new, like four weeks ago.
• 34:08
  Speaker 4: So I have a lot more stuff to do to figure out why or how.
• 34:12
  Speaker 4: So I have a lot more stuff to do to figure out why or how.
• 34:14
  Speaker 4: But I told you about my grandfather, my dad's dad.
• 34:17
  Speaker 4: He died of a heart attack at 38.
• 34:19
  Speaker 4: His dad died of a heart attack at 36.
• 34:22
  Speaker 4: So very likely, whatever I have is genetic and hereditary and 100% confirmed.
• 34:29
  Speaker 4: The only reason I didn't die from it is because I'm healthy and because I'm sober, because my grandfather and great-grandfather were alcoholics, smokers and obese.
• 34:41
  Speaker 4: So that's the only reason I came back from it.
• 34:45
  Speaker 4: But yeah, it was a very, very scary experience.
• 34:50
  Speaker 1: Wow.
• 34:51
  Speaker 3: Hi, this is Kathy Orton.
• 34:53
  Speaker 3: I'm the Director of Talent Management at CoWorks Staffing Services.
• 34:57
  Speaker 3: Coworks is one of the largest staffing firms in the United States, with operations in all 50 states, over 60,000 temporary field talent.
• 35:06
  Speaker 3: We are devoted to the success and growth of our employees and our clients.
• 35:09
  Speaker 3: We are celebrating our 50th anniversary this year and are proud to have a legacy of treating people the right way, doing the right thing, supporting our communities and putting field talent first.
• 35:20
  Speaker 3: Our team places candidates in administrative light, industrial, call center, distribution, third-party logistic positions with additional opportunities through our executive search, creative staffing and luxury, beauty and fragrance divisions.
• 35:34
  Speaker 3: We had the pleasure of having Casey Jaycox deliver a keynote presentation and training workshop to our sales team this year and I have to tell you it was exceptional.
• 35:42
  Speaker 3: Casey is funny, he is engaging and he is approachable.
• 35:46
  Speaker 3: What sets Casey apart is that he really walks the walk.
• 35:49
  Speaker 3: He lives what he teaches.
• 35:51
  Speaker 3: He spent time with us outside of the workshop, really taking the time to get to know our people.
• 35:56
  Speaker 3: He shared information about his personal life, about his family, creating the foundation for authentic relationships, one of the core elements of the strategy he teaches.
• 36:05
  Speaker 3: Casey left our teams feeling motivated, energized and armed with the actionable tools to transform their sales performance.
• 36:13
  Speaker 3: I cannot recommend Casey enough to any or any organization looking to grow and unlock their full potential.
• 36:21
  Speaker 3: If you want to learn more about Cowork Staffing, please visit our website at CoworkStaffingcom.
• 36:25
  Speaker 3: Now let's get back to the podcast.
• 36:28
  Speaker 2: Well, I'm grateful you're here with me today.
• 36:29
  Speaker 2: Me too, I'm grateful you have the the um vulnerability to share the story, cause my hope is this will impact somebody who is maybe not listening to their body.
• 36:40
  Speaker 2: Um, me too, and I'd say the one thing so I got you by a few years.
• 36:44
  Speaker 2: I'm, I'm, I'm 48, almost 49.
• 36:47
  Speaker 2: Um, and I uh the the one thing that my wife has taught me and we've been married 25 years met in seventh grade and uh, you gotta be your own advocate.
• 36:59
  Speaker 2: No, no offense to any of the doctors out there.
• 37:01
  Speaker 2: I know you guys doing the best you can, and um, our, our system sometimes doesn't allow doctors to really dig in deep, I think.
• 37:09
  Speaker 2: And so what?
• 37:10
  Speaker 2: You, if you feel something, say something.
• 37:13
  Speaker 2: If you feel, feel something's not right, and um it worst case scenario, you go pay a $20 copay and you go get it figured out.
• 37:21
  Speaker 2: But I think, as dads, we owe it to our kids to to make that phone call and go get and and cause you don't get a second.
• 37:30
  Speaker 2: I mean, you, you're lucky, you got four chances, yeah.
• 37:33
  Speaker 2: And and cause you don't get a second, I mean, you, you're lucky, you got four chances, yeah, you know.
• 37:38
  Speaker 2: And um, wow, well, did they know?
• 37:39
  Speaker 2: Is it like um in?
• 37:40
  Speaker 2: What's it called Um?
• 37:41
  Speaker 2: Uh, not V, not um.
• 37:43
  Speaker 2: There's a word for a heart issue, when it kind of skips a beat.
• 37:46
  Speaker 2: I can't remember.
• 37:47
  Speaker 4: Yeah, that's like called VT.
• 37:48
  Speaker 4: It's not VT, it's whatever it's.
• 37:51
  Speaker 4: It's called sinus node dysfunction, leading to sinus node arrest and and, and there's a term called bradycardia is what it what it is?
• 38:01
  Speaker 4: Um, I have a appointment with a cardiac geneticist to figure out if it's genetic and then my brothers and my, my son and my nephews and nieces can all go get tested for it.
• 38:14
  Speaker 4: If it comes back positive, cause I don't.
• 38:18
  Speaker 4: If I'm being honest with you, casey, I don't know how it skipped my dad, my dad, I love my dad.
• 38:23
  Speaker 4: He is over 300 pounds, 64 year old, not the health, not a picture of health, still still, you know, not an alcoholic by any means, but he loves to have a good time, smokes at least one cigar a day.
• 38:37
  Speaker 4: So very lucky that it skipped him, because he probably would have had the same fate as my grandfather and great grandfather based off his health.
• 38:47
  Speaker 4: It's why I'm healthy, because I don't want to be like that when I'm that age.
• 38:51
  Speaker 4: But you made a great point and I want to emphasize it to everybody listening.
• 38:57
  Speaker 4: You have to advocate for yourself, right?
• 38:59
  Speaker 4: You are another patient.
• 39:02
  Speaker 4: They don't care about your family or any of this other stuff.
• 39:07
  Speaker 4: They're going to read off a piece of paper and tell you what they think, but they're not going to push you.
• 39:11
  Speaker 4: You have to really pay attention, you have to be really curious to the point you said before we started recording, and you have to push for what's the right thing, based off something that makes sense to you.
• 39:26
  Speaker 4: That's, I think, what's really important is the doctor is smarter than you in terms of healthcare and knows more than you, but it's got to make sense to you.
• 39:34
  Speaker 4: And and that's one thing that I, like you, I learned from my wife.
• 39:38
  Speaker 4: She was a massive I I.
• 39:41
  Speaker 4: I probably wouldn't be here if it wasn't for her.
• 39:43
  Speaker 4: I wouldn't be here if it was wasn't for her, a hundred percent.
• 39:47
  Speaker 2: Caroline.
• 39:48
  Speaker 2: Great work.
• 39:48
  Speaker 2: Way to be there.
• 39:50
  Speaker 2: Way to be there to pick pick up.
• 39:52
  Speaker 2: If you had to say one core lesson, that when Jack's old enough to understand what you just went through, tell me what comes to mind and what you might share with him.
• 40:07
  Speaker 4: So when you say core lesson, you mean from the experience or like in terms of like, how my perspective has changed because of what I went through.
• 40:16
  Speaker 2: Whatever your heart's telling you to say.
• 40:18
  Speaker 4: I think my biggest takeaway from this experience, casey, and like kind of, you know, you think you're invincible, you think you can live forever, right?
• 40:32
  Speaker 4: So I I have a very I have a daily reminder of this scar and this thing, this computer in my chest, that those, neither of those things are true, and time is the only resource you can't create more of.
• 40:46
  Speaker 4: The biggest lesson, and something I'm absolutely gonna, especially nowadays with Jack um emphasize and any other kids we have is to be present, be present, be where you be, where your feet are and I know I mentioned this and when you reached out to me, um, because I don't, I don't advocate.
• 41:10
  Speaker 4: I think work-life balance is a made-up thing.
• 41:13
  Speaker 4: I don't think people came up with that to convince people to take shitty jobs.
• 41:19
  Speaker 4: It's work-life integration.
• 41:24
  Speaker 4: I'm building a business and it's really important to me and I really think I can have an impact and it's part of my DNA and I'm not advocating to to say like, don't do that and spend all your time with your friends and family because life is too short.
• 41:40
  Speaker 4: What I am advocating for is, when you're at work, be at work, be a hundred percent in, give it your all, because you don't know when you're not going to be there, but when you go home, leave it at work, put your phone in the other fucking room.
• 41:57
  Speaker 4: Dude and sorry to swear, but this is how important this is how important this is be where your feet are, be with your kid, be with your wife, be with your friends.
• 42:06
  Speaker 4: When you're with your friends, like, obviously be available so your family can reach out to you.
• 42:11
  Speaker 4: But in terms of work, you're not curing cancer right Like you're not saving lives like my doctor did.
• 42:18
  Speaker 4: There's no reason for you to respond to that text right now.
• 42:21
  Speaker 4: There's no reason for you to be thinking and this is hard as an entrepreneur, and I know you can relate to this Work is always on my brain and I've learned, after what I went through, to turn it off, and it's going to still be there when Jack goes to bed and Caroline goes to bed.
• 42:37
  Speaker 4: So I, if I need to do something, I can do it after that.
• 42:40
  Speaker 4: But be where your feet are all the time, no matter what that means.
• 42:46
  Speaker 2: It's cool, dude, I want to piggyback and I don't mean to go like whenever I tell like stories of like previous experience or whatever it is.
• 42:53
  Speaker 2: Even like football, I always give love to Uncle Rico.
• 42:55
  Speaker 2: So I don't mean this to make this like an Uncle Rico and Napoleon Dynamite moment.
• 42:58
  Speaker 2: But when I was 30, 31, 32, I worked in the staffing and consulting industry for 20 something years and I was obviously the right guy, right time, right place.
• 43:10
  Speaker 2: But I was lucky enough.
• 43:11
  Speaker 2: I was our number one rep for 10 straight years.
• 43:13
  Speaker 2: Um, a lot of pressure doing that each and every year.
• 43:16
  Speaker 2: Um, the, none of the pressure put on myself, but the, the, the percept, the pressure from others to like keep doing what I'm doing.
• 43:22
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and I remember one writer was, um, like you know, one, 18 months, 24 months old.
• 43:29
  Speaker 2: Uh, I remember leaving getting the office at seven before he would, before he would wake up or barely get a scene to wake.
• 43:36
  Speaker 2: I would know I didn't get seen before he left.
• 43:37
  Speaker 2: And then I get home.
• 43:38
  Speaker 2: I get home like six, 45 and he'd go to bed at seven, seven, 15.
• 43:44
  Speaker 2: I'm like this is fucking awful, like this is not what being a dad's about, and I remember being so like frustrated and I finally went to my boss, shout out to Angela, ronica, if you're listening.
• 43:55
  Speaker 2: I said, ange, I know that you love, and the company called it's called K-Force.
• 43:59
  Speaker 2: They love what I'm doing, or it was actually yeah, k-force what I'm doing, but I'm miserable.
• 44:04
  Speaker 2: I am like miserable and she's like well, what do you mean?
• 44:07
  Speaker 2: I'm like, well, I fricking.
• 44:08
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm doing great things for you guys and pocketbook feels great, but like I want to be a present dad.
• 44:13
  Speaker 2: And she's like we'll leave it for.
• 44:15
  Speaker 2: I'm like we don't work for no offense to the bankers.
• 44:18
  Speaker 2: I go, I can't listen to the bank.
• 44:19
  Speaker 2: It's not like I.
• 44:20
  Speaker 2: She's like why can't you?
• 44:22
  Speaker 2: I'm like, well, I don't know.
• 44:23
  Speaker 2: She's like do you it for your?
• 44:27
  Speaker 2: We got this thing's called cell phones.
• 44:29
  Speaker 2: You're available to hold drive home.
• 44:30
  Speaker 2: When you get home at five, shut it down and so like.
• 44:33
  Speaker 2: From like five to seven I was not available.
• 44:36
  Speaker 2: And unless it was like 911 called or and these things.
• 44:42
  Speaker 2: There's amazing technology still works.
• 44:44
  Speaker 2: It's called voicemail, leave them, leave us a message.
• 44:46
  Speaker 2: And I told I trained my team, I trained my clients, like hey, listen, I'm going to be unavailable unless it's like.
• 44:51
  Speaker 2: I mean, obviously there was always but four, but 99% of the time I was not available.
• 44:55
  Speaker 2: And then from like seven to 30, seven, 38, me and Carrie would spend time.
• 45:00
  Speaker 2: And then from eight to like 10, I'd clean up email, I document my CRM, I'd get my day plan for the next day and that was like rinse, repeat robot, dude and JR.
• 45:09
  Speaker 2: When I did that, my career went from this to fricking straight rocket ship.
• 45:12
  Speaker 2: Just from doing that and being to your point, being present at both spots.
• 45:17
  Speaker 4: Yes.
• 45:18
  Speaker 2: Not half-assing it either way, so-.
• 45:20
  Speaker 4: Either way, either way, and you don't have to, you don't have to choose.
• 45:23
  Speaker 4: It's not either or it can be both.
• 45:26
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and hopefully people listen home.
• 45:27
  Speaker 2: You got two examples right here and of people that have are doing it, they're living it and we're not perfect at it.
• 45:32
  Speaker 2: I would say I'll speak for myself, but I have a commitment to do it and I have a commitment to like ask for accountability partners in my life, whether it's my wife, my friends, whoever it may be.
• 45:41
  Speaker 2: I want to learn about shift group now, before we um summarize.
• 45:50
  Speaker 2: If people want to learn or people have no idea what shift group is, um, people have no idea what you do.
• 45:56
  Speaker 2: Talk about why you started the business and who are you serving.
• 46:01
  Speaker 4: Absolutely Um.
• 46:02
  Speaker 4: So when I was 24 years old, uh, I woke up one morning, uh, actually got woken up with a kick in the ribs by my favorite guy, my dad, and he said dude, hockey's over, you need to get an effing job.
• 46:18
  Speaker 4: And that was quite literally the first time in my entire life that I thought about who I was and what I was going to do other than hockey.
• 46:29
  Speaker 4: Who I was and what I was going to do other than hockey.
• 46:32
  Speaker 4: And I struggled with that loss of identity and that loss of purpose, which is what led to like a lot of my substance abuse challenges.
• 46:37
  Speaker 4: And I tripped and fell into a career, kind of half-assed it for a few years.
• 46:44
  Speaker 4: And then I I kind of had this epiphany that, like, just cause I'm not a professional athlete doesn't mean I'm not a professional, and I started approaching my job same way I approach my athletic career.
• 46:54
  Speaker 4: And it changed my life, uh, both personally but also like financially, which is why you have a career, it's why it's called making a living, it's to support your living and like what you can buy and what you can't.
• 47:09
  Speaker 4: And then I spent, you know, 16 years as a few years as a salesperson, but most of my time I was a leader, hiring teams, building teams, and it's really really hard, dude, like especially early career talent, right, you can't really tell from a resume in an interview if someone is a resilient, coachable, a good teammate like those aren't things that pop out in a 30 minute discussion or on a piece of paper.
• 47:40
  Speaker 4: So what our company does is it solves those two problems for people.
• 47:47
  Speaker 4: It solves people who find their identity and their purpose in uniform, whether that's on a field or on the ice or on the battlefield.
• 47:56
  Speaker 4: We help veterans too when they transition.
• 48:02
  Speaker 4: We have a platform, two-sided platform.
• 48:04
  Speaker 4: One side is training, one side is recruiting.
• 48:06
  Speaker 4: On the training side, they do self-discovery, career discovery, career upskilling and they learn how to tell their story and position their value.
• 48:15
  Speaker 4: On the other side, companies can log in, find an athlete or a veteran in a geography they're looking to hire and watch videos of that person telling their story, explaining why they want to do the career that they chose, why they're a good fit, and then, whatever that career is, they actually can watch videos of key concepts and key skills for that career.
• 48:38
  Speaker 4: So if I'm a sales leader and I want to hire someone as a BDR, I can watch them, do a cold call before I interview them, watch them present their 30, 60, 90, do an account research assignment and we do that in tech, healthcare, financial services and we're expanding the number of career choices and the number of companies we work with about 350 companies now that log into that portal every day to try to find really resilient, coachable, hardworking and accountable team first candidates.
• 49:11
  Speaker 4: That's the business.
• 49:13
  Speaker 2: Love it, man, that's so cool.
• 49:14
  Speaker 2: That is so cool and what an impact it's going to make on so many companies.
• 49:19
  Speaker 2: Because you know I mean actually I've been around sales biz dev my whole life and employees and leaders and they're like I'd love to find a college athlete.
• 49:26
  Speaker 2: Let's find an athlete.
• 49:27
  Speaker 2: Well, here's your solution.
• 49:28
  Speaker 2: Everybody, make sure you follow JR, you follow the shift group.
• 49:35
  Speaker 2: We'll make sure this is linked in the show notes so we can make it easier for people to learn more about you, your team, your company.
• 49:39
  Speaker 2: And if you're a veteran or you're an athlete and you're struggling, here's a solution, here's a resource for you to go get that job you always wanted to get, okay, so so back to our dad conversation.
• 49:51
  Speaker 2: Before we go into what I call the lightning round, which is really crazy stuff, you're really going to see a guy with the screw loose.
• 49:56
  Speaker 2: If you were to summarize kind of everything we talked about, which started with a blank piece of paper, now it's a full page of notes, tell me what?
• 50:05
  Speaker 2: How would you summarize?
• 50:06
  Speaker 2: You know, a couple of like words or actionable themes that dads can take from our conversation is like wow, I learned A, b and C and I can apply this in my own life, to become a better leader in my home.
• 50:17
  Speaker 2: Tell me what comes to mind.
• 50:20
  Speaker 4: I would say, you know, don't, don't have an ego when it comes to your health.
• 50:26
  Speaker 4: Like, pay attention to your body, um, and and enjoy every moment, like as a dad, as a husband, but also as like an employee and somebody who's like, that's kind of you know, be where your feet are all the time and be all in all the time, um, and I the last thing, I'll right behind me for those on video, nobody cares work harder, like, make sure you participate in your own, your own success, cause nobody's coming to save you in the real world.
• 51:00
  Speaker 2: Love it, nobody cares.
• 51:01
  Speaker 2: Work harder.
• 51:02
  Speaker 2: Uh, you have two ways to embrace that.
• 51:05
  Speaker 2: It's like, ah, that's kind of intense.
• 51:06
  Speaker 2: It's reality, everybody.
• 51:07
  Speaker 2: It's fricking reality.
• 51:09
  Speaker 2: Um, and when you adopt that mindset and find the positivity in that message, watch what happens to your mindset, watch what happens to your skills, watch what happens to your growth and your personality, your, your career, your life as a dad, your friend, whatever it may be.
• 51:22
  Speaker 2: Um, love it.
• 51:24
  Speaker 2: How can people so shift group?
• 51:26
  Speaker 2: What about any other social channels you're on where I can send people?
• 51:29
  Speaker 4: So so shift group what about any other social channels you're on where I can send people?
• 51:33
  Speaker 4: Instagram?
• 51:33
  Speaker 4: It's shift group underscore HQ and that's all our.
• 51:35
  Speaker 4: That's all the social channels Instagram, twitter, tiktok, and and you know, the reason we got to connect, casey is because of LinkedIn.
• 51:45
  Speaker 4: I'm a good follow on LinkedIn, I think I tell it, uh, on my own posts, but I'm also pretty famous for getting into the, getting into the dirt and the comments when I don't agree with someone.
• 51:57
  Speaker 4: So I think I'm a pretty good follow on LinkedIn.
• 52:01
  Speaker 2: You ever get two minutes on the two minutes in the box for popping off on LinkedIn.
• 52:05
  Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, we got.
• 52:08
  Speaker 4: So we got big this year.
• 52:09
  Speaker 4: So I had to hire a COO because I'm a sales guy.
• 52:12
  Speaker 4: I was running the business on Google Drive and that's not a good thing for a multimillion dollar company.
• 52:18
  Speaker 4: So I brought in an operational financial stud and he sat down with me before he accepted the job offer and he's like I love what you post on LinkedIn, but you have to be less of a bully than you are.
• 52:32
  Speaker 4: So now what I do is I'll type a response, I'll send him a screenshot and if he says I can do it, I'll do it.
• 52:41
  Speaker 2: Love it.
• 52:41
  Speaker 2: Hey, you're walking the walk.
• 52:43
  Speaker 2: You're checking the ego, man, I love it.
• 52:44
  Speaker 2: Coachable Coachability, baby, here we go.
• 52:47
  Speaker 2: Okay, so now I know we're getting up on timer, so I'll make this quick.
• 52:50
  Speaker 2: This is what I call the lightning round.
• 52:52
  Speaker 2: I go random, I don't have any questions prepared.
• 52:54
  Speaker 2: My job is to show you the negative hits of taking too many hits in college not bong hits, but football hits.
• 53:00
  Speaker 2: Your job is to answer them quickly and, I'm hopeful, to get a giggle out of you.
• 53:05
  Speaker 4: Okay, perfect.
• 53:12
  Speaker 2: Are you perfect?
• 53:12
  Speaker 2: Are you ready?
• 53:13
  Speaker 2: Yes, you okay.
• 53:13
  Speaker 2: First question you're the only holy cross hockey player to land a triple lutz and nail a one-timer from the blue line and score a goal.
• 53:17
  Speaker 4: Is that a question?
• 53:18
  Speaker 4: Yeah, am I no?
• 53:22
  Speaker 2: okay, I didn't know.
• 53:24
  Speaker 4: I think a triple lutz is like an ice skating move, that's the only, okay, excellent um favorite hockey moment of your entire life is uh, getting to see my brother play in the nhl, that was the first thing that popped into my head.
• 53:37
  Speaker 4: I didn't know I was gonna say that, but that's it.
• 53:39
  Speaker 4: Who do you play for?
• 53:40
  Speaker 4: His first game was with the ottawa senators.
• 53:43
  Speaker 4: Wow, wow against the new york rangers.
• 53:47
  Speaker 4: It Proudest moment of my life.
• 53:50
  Speaker 2: So cool.
• 53:50
  Speaker 2: What's your favorite hockey movie of all time?
• 53:52
  Speaker 2: Slapshot so good, well played.
• 53:56
  Speaker 4: Second Miracle.
• 53:57
  Speaker 4: Second Miracle.
• 53:59
  Speaker 2: Have you ever seen Strange Brew?
• 54:01
  Speaker 4: Of course, dude, of course.
• 54:05
  Speaker 2: Good reference dude.
• 54:06
  Speaker 4: Only someone from the Pac Northwest knows Strange Brew.
• 54:09
  Speaker 4: I like that.
• 54:12
  Speaker 2: If you were to go on a vacation right now, you and Caroline sorry Jack, you're staying home, buddy.
• 54:15
  Speaker 2: Where would you go, just you and her?
• 54:18
  Speaker 4: Our spot is St Bart's.
• 54:19
  Speaker 4: We love it there.
• 54:20
  Speaker 2: Okay, good answer.
• 54:21
  Speaker 2: If I was to come to your house for dinner tonight, what would we have?
• 54:28
  Speaker 4: Crustless pepperoni pizza from Lou Malnati's.
• 54:31
  Speaker 4: It's my favorite meal ever.
• 54:33
  Speaker 2: That sounds really really good.
• 54:34
  Speaker 2: I get pizza.
• 54:36
  Speaker 4: Dude, the crust is a giant sausage patty.
• 54:39
  Speaker 4: And then they put the pizza, they put the cheese and the sauce and the toppings on top of the sausage patty, so it's like a 16 inch pizza.
• 54:48
  Speaker 4: It's like 1200 calories, casey, less than 20 grams of carbs.
• 54:51
  Speaker 4: It's amazing.
• 54:51
  Speaker 4: A 16 inch pizza.
• 54:51
  Speaker 4: It's like 1200 calories, casey, less than 20 grams of carbs.
• 54:52
  Speaker 4: It's amazing, dude, amazing.
• 54:55
  Speaker 2: Wow, dude, I'll see him, for I got a five hour flight.
• 54:58
  Speaker 2: I'll be there soon.
• 54:59
  Speaker 2: If there was to be a book written about your life, tell me the title.
• 55:06
  Speaker 4: Luggage or side side title, Fuck you, I'll Take the Sagamore.
• 55:14
  Speaker 4: There we go.
• 55:18
  Speaker 2: There's a great story behind that.
• 55:20
  Speaker 2: I love it, okay.
• 55:21
  Speaker 2: So either of those titles is the one.
• 55:23
  Speaker 2: But now what's happening is, every time I go to pick up a copy, it's sold, sold out.
• 55:27
  Speaker 2: I've tried Amazon it's sold out.
• 55:29
  Speaker 2: I've tried bookstores it's sold out.
• 55:31
  Speaker 2: I'm at the airport it's sold out.
• 55:32
  Speaker 2: So now Netflix has heard about this book, jr, and they're going to make a movie and you are the casting director.
• 55:37
  Speaker 2: I need to know who's going to star you in this critically acclaimed, hit new movie.
• 55:40
  Speaker 2: Bradley Cooper, bc.
• 55:43
  Speaker 4: Yeah, oh boy, he's going to wear a hat, though, cause my hairline does not is not the same as his.
• 55:50
  Speaker 2: Love it.
• 55:50
  Speaker 2: Um, and then last question tell me two words that would describe Caroline.
• 56:00
  Speaker 2: Amazing woman, amazing woman.
• 56:00
  Speaker 2: Boom Lightning rounds over.
• 56:01
  Speaker 2: We both giggle.
• 56:01
  Speaker 2: We'll call it a tie, but tie always means I give the wind the dub to my guest Dude.
• 56:05
  Speaker 2: This has been a fricking blast.
• 56:07
  Speaker 4: Um so fun.
• 56:07
  Speaker 4: Man, you're really good at this.
• 56:09
  Speaker 2: No, I appreciate that.
• 56:10
  Speaker 2: I, I, I practice this.
• 56:11
  Speaker 2: This job practices curiosity and listening, active listening and this, um, people think, oh, you must, you're a podcaster, I lose money by doing this thing, but as it is a calling, uh, I do this cause I get to serve people and, selfishly, I get free therapy every, every time I talk to a dad.
• 56:32
  Speaker 2: So I want to thank our sponsors.
• 56:32
  Speaker 2: I want to thank all the dads who continue to listen.
• 56:33
  Speaker 2: If you're seeing this on YouTube, thank you.
• 56:36
  Speaker 2: Uh, my, my, my call to action is if there, if this episode has impacted you, you hit, you go to the where you're listening to it, you hit share episode and you send it to your buddies or leave a comment on LinkedIn or leave a comment on Instagram, wherever you're engaging this, because the more dads we can impact, the more ways we can get the right type of mindset impacting our kids to create better societies where we live in.
• 56:55
  Speaker 2: So, jr, I'm grateful for our time.
• 56:57
  Speaker 2: Man, I hope our paths cross soon in person, because it'd be great to shake your hand and maybe play some golf one day.
• 57:03
  Speaker 4: Absolutely 100%.
• 57:04
  Speaker 4: Great to meet you, Casey.
• 57:05
  Speaker 4: Thank you for having me, you bet.