Latest / Very Fine Friends / Bonus IMPROV - It's Your First Day of High School

Transcript

Bonus IMPROV - It's Your First Day of High School · Very Fine Friends

• 0:00
  good nostrils francis i've been practicing i've been working them out i got tiny little
• 0:18
  nostril barbells.
• 0:21
  200.
• 0:24
  How fat
• 0:25
  is she?
• 0:27
  Welcome
• 0:28
  to Very Fine France.
• 0:31
  Very Fine France?
• 0:32
  Very Fine France, sis.
• 0:35
  Thank you.
• 0:37
  Bonus.
• 0:39
  Improv.
• 0:40
  Joe.
• 0:42
  What is the word for us?
• 0:45
  Obligation.
• 0:47
  Obligation.
• 0:48
  Is that what you think of us?
• 0:50
  Yeah.
• 0:50
  He didn't even have to look that up.
• 0:52
  That was just for his own brain.
• 0:54
  Yep.
• 0:55
  That was from the speech part of his uneaten brain.
• 0:58
  Hmm.
• 1:00
  Do you have obligations in life?
• 1:04
  Sure.
• 1:06
  Most do.
• 1:07
  Well, yeah.
• 1:08
  Well, obligation is something you have to do that you don't really want to do.
• 1:11
  Do you want to strike me as someone who does things she doesn't want to do?
• 1:14
  Thank you.
• 1:16
  I think.
• 1:17
  not that I'm not capable of it but luckily
• 1:20
  like I've my life
• 1:22
  is at such a point that I'm doing the things I want
• 1:24
  to be doing so that's wonderful
• 1:26
  you deserve it thank you I'm not sure that
• 1:28
  I do but I'm glad that I have it regardless
• 1:30
  that's
• 1:32
  beautiful should put that on a pillow
• 1:34
  and sell it
• 1:35
  what about you
• 1:38
  I know you've got many
• 1:40
  we can't even get into it
• 1:42
  it's a real shit show
• 1:44
  it's a real sack of farts
• 1:46
  yeah
• 1:48
  that's okay
• 1:49
  I guess
• 1:50
  it's one of those
• 1:51
  okay sacks of farts
• 1:52
  you know
• 1:53
  my whole life
• 1:54
  is just
• 1:54
  do this
• 1:55
  do that
• 1:56
  yeah
• 1:56
  but one day
• 1:58
  it'll be over
• 2:02
  is this one of those
• 2:05
  it's concerning
• 2:06
  nah don't worry about it
• 2:09
  I'm fine
• 2:09
  okay
• 2:10
  more nice pants
• 2:11
  yeah they are nice pants
• 2:13
  thanks
• 2:14
  and they fit
• 2:15
  you know that's a real good quality sometimes the way things like the day is dictated it's like
• 2:21
  i have to wear like a certain outfit for like a certain event and how the clothes fit on first
• 2:26
  attempt really dictates how the day goes yeah yeah i know that could be a kind of a
• 2:34
  game changer especially if like you have something pictured in your head
• 2:38
  and you and then like you look at yourself in the mirror and you like oh this is not looking the way it looked in my head like when you do that like like in clueless the dressing the when she has like her closet where
• 2:51
  it dresses her or whatever oh yeah um it's like in my head i have one of those for myself
• 2:56
  and it's but like when it doesn't look and it almost never looks the way that i think it's
• 3:01
  gonna look in my head like who put a funhouse mirror in my room what what uh what shape is that
• 3:08
  scientists haven't discovered it yet but i have yep yeah well well uh well then today must have
• 3:17
  been off the right foot because you look good thanks yeah i feel good good i'm glad i'm glad
• 3:26
  i thought you were jenna hey no i'm juby juby and now improv
• 3:38
  All right, Kate, get your backpack.
• 3:43
  It's your first day of high school.
• 3:45
  All right.
• 3:46
  I love you, so I'll take you.
• 3:47
  I guess I'll take you.
• 3:48
  I guess I'll take you.
• 3:50
  I could take the bus if this is going to be a problem for you.
• 3:54
  No, no, no.
• 3:55
  Then everyone sees that Kate's mom made her take the bus.
• 3:59
  Mom.
• 4:01
  Okay, well, thank you.
• 4:04
  Thank you for the ride.
• 4:05
  Yeah.
• 4:07
  It's okay.
• 4:07
  I'll just do my work later.
• 4:10
  Thank you.
• 4:11
  Mom?
• 4:11
  Huh?
• 4:12
  Love you.
• 4:13
  Do you?
• 4:15
  Of course.
• 4:16
  That's your...
• 4:17
  You're sun and my stars.
• 4:18
  Am I?
• 4:19
  Every time...
• 4:20
  Every time something comes up that involves me, it's...
• 4:25
  There's a lot of...
• 4:26
  Involved.
• 4:28
  You don't understand.
• 4:29
  When I was your age, I had to walk 1,400 miles in the snow.
• 4:33
  Okay, Mom.
• 4:34
  One way.
• 4:35
  Mom, all right.
• 4:36
  I lost three toes.
• 4:38
  Okay.
• 4:40
  So you had 13 toes because you have 10 now.
• 4:44
  They grew back.
• 4:47
  Okay, well.
• 4:48
  Don't look at my feet.
• 4:49
  Anyway, are you ready to go?
• 4:51
  If you don't want me to look at your feet, why'd you put them up on the dashboard of the car?
• 4:56
  I'm a mystery.
• 4:57
  Okay.
• 4:58
  A lot going on.
• 4:59
  All right, Mom.
• 5:00
  Well, can we just get to school?
• 5:01
  Yeah.
• 5:02
  Nope.
• 5:02
  I got a surprise for you.
• 5:04
  Ooh.
• 5:04
  We're not going to school.
• 5:06
  Ooh, fun.
• 5:06
  Yeah, we're going somewhere else.
• 5:09
  The DMV.
• 5:11
  What?
• 5:11
  I got stuff to do!
• 5:13
  Oh, no, Mom, I'm...
• 5:14
  Oh, you're just...
• 5:15
  You're taking me on your chores?
• 5:19
  They're not chores.
• 5:20
  Mom, this is my first day of high school.
• 5:23
  So you be a little late and you skip a few classes and I sure you going to tell everyone it because your mother was horrible to you mom fine promise me you won i not going to swear on my life
• 5:36
  say the whole thing say the whole sentence i don't trust you i swear on your life that i won't tell
• 5:41
  everyone that you're horrible i just can we just get this over with i need to be at school all right
• 5:47
  i'll skip the dmv oh thank you of course we just gotta stop by the doctor's office because
• 5:52
  one of my regrown toes keeps falling off mom that's not mom that's tape it's tape on your foot
• 6:03
  yeah tape that i paid for the money i earned i couldn't even buy a good tape because i had to buy
• 6:08
  you books all right but okay fine let's go to the doctor real quick no i'll just take you to school
• 6:15
  thank you oh my god thank you because it's like really important that i get there and like
• 6:20
  if I'm not sitting at the right
• 6:23
  in the right desk at the
• 6:25
  in homeroom, like if I'm sitting at the
• 6:27
  front, like I need to be in the back with the cool
• 6:29
  kids.
• 6:30
  Otherwise my whole high school is ruined.
• 6:34
  Don't worry.
• 6:35
  I'm your mother and I'm not gonna
• 6:37
  let you miss out on that opportunity.
• 6:39
  Thank you, Mom. Thank you.
• 6:42
  Except Dairy Queen is
• 6:43
  running a special
• 6:45
  two dipped cones, the mother and
• 6:47
  daughter special. Oh.
• 6:49
  But you both have to be there.
• 6:50
  Okay.
• 6:51
  I mean, there's a Dairy Queen on the way to school.
• 6:52
  No, the one across town is the only one with a D.
• 6:55
  Oh, Mom.
• 6:56
  No, it's okay.
• 6:57
  This is, it's okay.
• 6:58
  I can still get you there on time.
• 7:00
  Can I just pay later for you to have an extra dip cone?
• 7:04
  Oh, yeah.
• 7:07
  Okay, fine.
• 7:08
  No, no, I want you to, I want you to be cool.
• 7:11
  Here, let's just go to school.
• 7:13
  Okay, thank you.
• 7:14
  Here we are.
• 7:15
  Get out, get out of the car.
• 7:16
  Oh, thank you, Mom.
• 7:17
  Take your stuff and get out.
• 7:18
  Okay, all right.
• 7:19
  Just take yourself and go.
• 7:20
  Mom, why are you...
• 7:21
  What?
• 7:22
  Why are you following me into school?
• 7:25
  Why are you...
• 7:25
  Mom, don't follow me.
• 7:26
  I'm not following you.
• 7:27
  Yeah, you are.
• 7:27
  You're following me.
• 7:28
  I come here sometimes.
• 7:29
  Mom, what?
• 7:29
  Your toe fell off.
• 7:30
  Mom.
• 7:30
  Leave it.
• 7:30
  Let's go.
• 7:31
  Mom, don't follow me.
• 7:33
  No, it's okay.
• 7:34
  Mom, you're coming.
• 7:34
  Oh, here we are.
• 7:35
  This is my homeroom.
• 7:36
  No.
• 7:36
  Oh.
• 7:38
  Mom.
• 7:39
  Oh.
• 7:39
  I got the good seat.
• 7:40
  Oh, god damn it, Mom.
• 7:42
  Hey, don't swear.
• 7:43
  G.D., Mom.
• 7:46
  What?
• 7:46
  You took the last seat and back.
• 7:48
  There's only one seat in front.
• 7:49
  Who's this, nerd?
• 7:51
  No.
• 7:53
  No, no, no.
• 7:53
  My mom was just leaving.
• 7:55
  Mom?
• 7:56
  That weird lady's leaving.
• 8:00
  Mr. Johnson, I'm being harassed by this dweeb.
• 8:07
  No, no.
• 8:08
  Dweeb in front Just sit down Stop harassing the cool kids in the back Mom What Haven you seen Never Been Kissed
• 8:19
  Yeah, I have.
• 8:20
  I love that movie.
• 8:22
  Now I have a chance.
• 8:24
  Mom!
• 8:24
  A chance to be cool.
• 8:25
  You have a child.
• 8:26
  You've been kissed before.
• 8:28
  Actually, no.
• 8:29
  What?
• 8:30
  Your father and I don't do that.
• 8:32
  What?
• 8:33
  He doesn't like my lips.
• 8:35
  I don't like them that much right now either.
• 8:38
  You imagine your husband saying that to you.
• 8:41
  And then your daughter not wanting you to be cool.
• 8:44
  Mom, can we not have this conversation across rows and rows of other students?
• 8:49
  So what if everyone's looking?
• 8:51
  They're all...
• 8:52
  Mom, they're all...
• 8:53
  They're looking at my feet.
• 8:54
  Fine.
• 8:56
  They're...
• 8:56
  Oh my god.
• 8:57
  They're all congregating around you and they're pointing at me.
• 8:59
  Well, you don't look very good right now.
• 9:03
  But I look like you.
• 9:05
  I'm like a...
• 9:06
  I'm a young version of you.
• 9:07
  With all my toes.
• 9:10
  I can't believe you just went there.
• 9:13
  Oh my God.
• 9:14
  Oh.
• 9:15
  You know I'm sensitive.
• 9:16
  Hey, leave her alone.
• 9:18
  Why are you treating her like that?
• 9:22
  She's the cool one.
• 9:23
  I wish that was my mother.
• 9:26
  I'm cutting off one of my toes just to be like her.
• 9:30
  Mom.
• 9:31
  What?
• 9:31
  I can't help it.
• 9:33
  They all love you.
• 9:36
  Aren't you?
• 9:36
  No, Mr. Johnson, what are you doing?
• 9:39
  Mr. Johnson!
• 9:40
  I'm sorry, I put a whoopee cushion on your seat.
• 9:44
  And I'm gonna make you sit on it in front of the whole class.
• 9:49
  Mr. Johnson, no!
• 9:53
  Cut to that night at home.
• 9:56
  Hey, honey. Hey, sweetheart.
• 9:58
  Hi, Mom. How was Brian Lasky's car?
• 10:02
  It's a convertible, huh?
• 10:03
  Oh, yeah. Oh, and he gave me a beer.
• 10:06
  oh god yeah and he cut one of his toes off so romantic mom and he kissed me oh he kissed me
• 10:14
  on the lips oh you've finally been kissed i know finally been kissed uh does that mean you'll leave
• 10:25
  me alone yeah that's all we wanted you're not gonna come to school anymore no i got what i
• 10:31
  wanted your father's moving out and the name of the boy you said is moving in brian lasky's movie
• 10:36
  get in here kiss these lips
• 10:39
  i didn't see