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Transcript

good enough is enough · insyed; cozy psychology

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  Good morning and welcome back to INSyed. I'm
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  Syed. Every week, I take real academic research
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  and bring it closer to the life you're actually
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  living. Like a diary that did psychology. Let's
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  take a peek INSyed. I didn't plan on going at
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  first, but as I was on the way back home from
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  a trip with my friends, we were talking about
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  a career fair that was happening at the end of
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  the week. Originally, I planned to stay at home
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  and spend time preparing for that career fair.
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  Working on my resume, filling out my CV, but
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  on the way back home, one of my good friends
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  shared how he once spent a whole day working
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  on his resume only for him to end up not applying
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  to any jobs. His story made me realize that I
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  was close to falling into a trap, a vice many
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  misinterpret as a strength that they proudly
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  showcase in their personality. Perfectionism.
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  It's an obsession with doing things in an all
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  -or -nothing manner. It harms growth because
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  it narrows the way we think. By trying to be
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  perfect, we begin to see whatever we do as either
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  black or white. Perfect or worthless. And as
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  the nature of things go, there is nothing on
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  this earth that will ever be perfect. It kills
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  growth because it kills the feeling of satisfaction.
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  As when we constantly search for imperfections
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  in all that we do and see, things will never
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  be good enough. So we end up falling into a spiral.
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  And just like Quicksand, the more we struggle,
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  the deeper we sink. But it's not all doom. There
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  is a way we can dig our way out of this quicksand
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  we call perfectionism. In a 2020 study, some
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  researchers in the Philippines gathered 351 adults
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  and asked them to answer a survey. And what they
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  found is something that we should all carry moving
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  forward. They suggest that a possible answer
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  to maladaptive perfectionism, the kind that harms
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  us, is self -compassion. The act of giving yourself
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  grace is but a remedy for self -evaluative perfectionism,
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  balancing the potential self -criticism someone
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  may face when looking at how things don't turn
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  out the way they prefer. I mentioned maladaptive
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  perfectionism, but is there such thing as good
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  adaptive perfectionism? From what we've shared,
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  we can agree that striving to be perfect can
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  be maladaptive, but this changes when we choose
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  to strive for something else. Excellence. By
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  striving for excellence, doing our best, it gives
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  us permission to fail and try again. It's how
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  we get better, by allowing ourselves grace. I
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  understand. I wasn't experiencing an extreme
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  example of affectionism. All I was doing was
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  working on cleaning up my resume during the downtime
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  in our trip. Yet after hearing my friend share
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  his anecdote, I felt warmth in my chest and clarity
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  in my mind. It reminded me how in reality, nothing
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  is perfect. I try and keep a schedule, wake up
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  at this time, eat that meal on that day, and
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  work out that muscle that much. But lately, I've
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  been learning to accept that things will change.
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  Not just because of things outside of my control,
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  but because that's just how things grow. Evolution.
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  Even in nature, a caterpillar can only begin
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  to fly after it first stops crawling. There's
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  a beauty in making changes to be better. Ultimately,
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  I've learned that I'll never be perfect, and
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  that's okay. Because to grow is to change. So
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  let this be my invitation to you, to try and
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  do something different. Accept when things are
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  just good enough, and not be afraid to try that
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  thing you've always wanted to do. It doesn't
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  have to be perfect. It just has to be there first.
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  And just like you, whatever you choose to do
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  will grow with you. And if it's meant to be,
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  it'll stay with you. And if you're curious how
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  that career friend went, I left with an interview
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  session scheduled. So give it a shot. Who knows
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  how wonderful things will turn out. And that
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  brings us to the end of this week's Inside. Thank
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  you for spending your time here. If something
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  today stayed with you, the best way you can support
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  is to share it with someone it may reach. You
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  can also follow the show wherever you listen.
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  And if you have a moment, leaving a review genuinely
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  helps us out. Until next week, remember that
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  there's always more INSyed.