Latest / Women at Work: Career, Leadership & Modern Work / The Visibility Debt Why Women Hesitate to Volunteer for High-Stakes Projects
Transcript
- Lucas: There's a scene that plays out in conference rooms every week — someone asks for a volunteer to lead a tough project, the room goes quiet, and the same few hands go up. Usually male hands. Luna: And the women in the room are doing a calculation in their heads that the men aren't doing. Lucas: Exactly. A 2023 McKinsey study quantified it: women volunteer for high-stakes stretch assignments about 30 percent less often than men. And the common narrative is that it's a confidence gap — women don't think they're ready. Luna: But that's not what the data actually shows. Lucas: No, it isn't. McKinsey dug deeper and found that women are actually making a rational calculation. They know — often from experience or observation — that the penalty for failure is steeper for them. If a woman volunteers and the project goes sideways, the hit to her reputation is bigger than it is for a man in the same situation. Luna: So it's not a confidence problem. It's a risk-reward asymmetry. Lucas: Right. And there's a really concrete example from a Fortune 500 company I'd like to walk through. This company tracked every project assignment and subsequent performance review over three years. Women who volunteered for stretch assignments were 40 percent more likely to receive negative feedback in their next review — even when the project outcomes were identical to their male peers. Luna: Forty percent. That's not subtle. That's a systemic penalty. Lucas: It is. And it creates what I've started calling a 'visibility debt.' Women hold back to avoid the penalty, they miss the exposure that comes with high-profile work, they fall behind on promotions, and then they get labeled as not ambitious or not willing to take risks. The system blames them for the very caution the system taught them. Luna: I want to bring in a real example here. A friend of mine — product manager at a SaaS company — watched a male colleague pitch the exact same strategic pivot she had proposed in a meeting two weeks earlier. He got praised as a visionary. She got told she was 'pushing too hard.' Lucas: And that's the asymmetry in action. Same idea, different gender, completely different outcome. And it's not just anecdotal — there's a well-known study where researchers gave managers identical resumes with male and female names. The male-named resume was rated as more competent and hireable. The same resume. Luna: The visibility debt accumulates over time. One project you skip, then another, then you're not in the room when the promotion decisions are made. By the time you realize, you're two levels behind where you could have been. Lucas: And the irony is that the advice women often get is to just 'lean in' and volunteer more. But that advice ignores the real penalty. It's not irrational to be cautious when the system punishes you for the same behavior it rewards in others. Luna: So what's the alternative? Don't volunteer at all? That seems like it just reinforces the cycle. Lucas: I think the alternative is to be strategic about which projects you take on, and to actively manage the narrative around them. If you're going to take a stretch assignment, document your wins, get explicit sponsorship from a senior person who will advocate for you, and make sure your manager knows the scope before you start. Luna: And maybe also ask: what's the risk profile of this particular project? Is it one where failure is common even for the best people? If so, maybe let someone else carry that risk. Lucas: Speaking of carrying risk — and this is a bit of a tangent, but it's related — this show exists because listeners like you support it. If we've helped you think through a career move or decision, a couple of dollars a month at buy me a coffee dot com slash fexingo genuinely keeps these episodes coming. No pressure, just a sincere note that it makes a difference. Luna: Yeah, it really does. Every little bit helps us stay ad-free and focused on the research. So thank you to anyone who's contributed. Lucas: Back to the visibility debt. One thing I want to emphasize is that this isn't about blaming individual women for not volunteering enough. It's about recognizing that the system is rigged, and then figuring out how to navigate it without taking all the risk. Luna: So what would you say to a woman who is currently hesitating to raise her hand for a big project? Lucas: I'd say: look at the track record of people who have taken similar projects in your organization. Do women who take them get promoted afterward, or do they get dinged? If the data in your company shows a penalty, then the rational move might be to look for projects with lower downside — or to secure a sponsor who will have your back before you start. Luna: That's a very different message from 'just be more confident.' Lucas: It is. And I think it's more helpful. Confidence isn't the issue. The issue is that the same behavior gets different results depending on who does it. Until that changes, women need to be smart about where they invest their visibility capital. Luna: There's also a role for managers here. If you're a manager listening, you can actively counteract this bias. When you see a woman hesitate to volunteer, instead of assuming she's not interested, you can say 'I think you'd be great for this, and I'll support you.' That explicit sponsorship can change the calculus. Lucas: Absolutely. And there's research showing that when managers explicitly invite women to take stretch assignments — rather than waiting for volunteers — the gender gap in participation disappears. So the onus isn't just on women to lean in. It's on leaders to open the door. Luna: That's a powerful takeaway. Let's talk about how to audit your own organization's risk-reward asymmetry. Lucas: I'd start by looking at the last five or six high-profile projects and who led them. Then look at the career trajectories of those people — male and female — in the year after. Did the women who led them get promoted? Did they get positive or negative performance reviews? If you see a pattern, that's your data. Luna: And if you're a woman seeing that pattern, what do you do with it? Lucas: You can use it to negotiate. Go to your manager and say 'I'm interested in this project, but I've noticed that women in this organization sometimes don't get the same support afterward. Can we agree upfront on how success will be measured and what the career implications will be?' Get it in writing if possible. Luna: That's smart. It's not asking for special treatment — it's asking for a level playing field. Lucas: Exactly. And it forces the manager to be explicit about the rewards and risks. If they can't articulate that, maybe the project isn't worth taking anyway. Luna: I think a lot of women are going to recognize themselves in this episode. That hesitation isn't a flaw — it's a rational response to an unfair system. Lucas: And the goal isn't to make women volunteer more. The goal is to make the system fairer so that volunteering doesn't come with a hidden penalty. Until then, be strategic. Luna: So for listeners: next time you're in a meeting and someone asks for a volunteer, take a beat. Notice who raises their hand. Notice who doesn't. And ask yourself why. Lucas: And if you're a woman who chose not to raise her hand, don't beat yourself up. You might have made a perfectly rational call. The question is whether your organization has made it so that the smart choice is also the ambitious one.