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Why do narcissists lie to themselves so much · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  What is going on beautiful people Welcome to another
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  episode of the narcissist code. I'm your favorite self aware
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  narcissist Mr. Lee Hammock better known as mental illness
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  across all social media platforms.
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  This your first time seeing my face and hear my voice.
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  I'm a clinically diagnosed narcissist and I use my platform
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  all over social media to raise the word for MPD.
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  Get more people into therapy like myself, six years strong
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  six years and also validate the victim, survivors and thrivers.
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  Upset disorder, said toxic people said toxic traits.
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  Today's episode is going to be be about why do narcissists lie
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  to themselves, To ourselves, Why?
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  Like why? Yeah, Nobody is exempt from a
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  narcissist lies, including the narcissist narcissistic person
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  themselves. Isn't that Isn't that isn't that
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  something? Y'all.
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  Nobody is exempt. Nobody escapes the radius of the
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  the, the, the nuclear lie, lie, bombs that narcissists drop,
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  including themselves. If if I'm the narcissist and I'm
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  lying to you and I'm the nuclear narcissistic bomb, I blow up
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  too. You know what I'm saying?
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  I get, I blow up. I'm destroying myself more.
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  You see what I'm saying? I catastrophic, like nuclear
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  bombs or any kind of bomb, any kind of projectile causes
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  catastrophic this catastrophic destruction to the things around
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  it, but it also destroys. It also gets destroyed as well.
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  You know what I mean? A grenade, A little lion, a
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  little lying grenade. If I pulled the pen, you know,
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  if I pulled the pen on the grenade and I hold it, I blow up
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  too. You may everybody around me
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  might get a little bit little piece, but I blow up too.
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  So narcissists lie to themselves as well.
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  Y'all That's part of it. It's part of it.
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  I know people are just like, but why do they lie to themselves?
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  Why? You know, why did they lie to?
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  They said why? Why do they lie to themselves?
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  Y'all y'all y'all. If you can guess what I'm going
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  to say, you know, if you can guess what I'm going to say, you
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  got it. Shame.
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  Narcissist lie to themselves to avoid or get rid of.
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  Shame at the bottom line at the baseline, that's why.
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  Right there. Just to avoid they they, yeah,
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  they want to get rid of the shame.
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  The shame. Y'all know I call it the shame
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  monster, because shame is absolutely a monster to
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  narcissists and toxic people. It just is.
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  It's shame is monstrous. It is.
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  You know, I tell these people like shame is a monster that
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  just is scary to narcissists. Like, shame destroys
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  narcissistic people from the inside of shame is not only a
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  monster, but it's also a virus. So shame eats away at the
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  narcissistic person. If they don't get rid of it,
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  they have to. We have to shake it loose, you
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  know. And lying and can lying to
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  ourselves is kind of like the antidote.
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  It's like it's kind of like the antivirus, just like, you know,
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  you put it. It's kind of like a little
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  EpiPen, like put it in your leg. You know, look like got my
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  little lying ass EpiPen. Like, shame is getting me.
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  I'm having an episode. I'm having a I'm having an
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  accountability attack. You just pull out the little
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  lion ass EpiPen and you're just sticking in your leg.
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  Yeah, you're sticking in your leg and you're good.
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  Lie. Lie to myself again, because we
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  have to convince ourselves that we are not bad people.
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  That's why we got to shake loose of shame.
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  And in order to get rid of shame, we have to convince
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  ourselves. We have to go above and beyond
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  to convince ourselves that we are not bad people.
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  We'd have to. So that's why we lie to
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  ourselves. We have to convince ourselves
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  that we are not bad people, even when we do bad things.
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  So we lie to ourselves to convince ourselves that it is
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  your fault. That's why you get a lot of
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  narcissists that blame you for what they have done.
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  They blame you for what they have been through.
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  They blame you for what is happening in the relationship,
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  or in the marriage, or in the OR in the in the partnership.
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  Whatever you are doing, they blame you for whatever is going
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  on. Because it's easy.
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  That's the easy way to do stuff right there.
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  It's the easiest way to get rid of shame.
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  It's the blank. It's the it's to blame the other
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  person for whatever is going on. It just absolutely is.
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  So I'm just telling people, just like you're dealing with a
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  narcissist, toxic person or whoever, and they are blaming
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  you for everything that's going on.
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  That's why. That's why they have to lie it.
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  Lying damn near is almost like breathing, you know?
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  Lying is almost as almost as necessary as breathing to some
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  narcissist and talks to people because it allows us to live and
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  stay alive. You know, it allows us to have
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  some type of sanity, allows us to have some type of reprieve
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  and practice ourselves and heal ourselves.
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  It allows us to do that. It just does.
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  It's heal. Yeah, it's a healing and growth.
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  It allows us to shake free and just get rid of the shame so
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  you're not the only person being lied to.
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  Y'all. When I tell you I tell people
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  that, it just kind of blows their minds.
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  Like you're not the only person that is being lied to here.
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  They are lying to like the lie has to go.
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  I'm laughing. Y'all because it sounds stupid.
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  But the lying, the lie has to be filtered through the Narcissus,
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  right? It has to be filtered through
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  us. It has to be filtered through
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  us. It has.
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  Then it comes to you. The lie is filtered through us.
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  Then it comes to you just like that.
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  You know, It is how it goes. It just goes like it comes
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  through us and it goes to you. And then sometimes it comes
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  through us and it sounds stupid to us and we still say it to you
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  and it sounds stupid. But sometimes y'all, don't y'all
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  believe it. Sometimes you don't believe it.
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  You know, as long as I said it, as long as I said it, do I
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  believe it? No, I don't.
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  Like go. Narcissists don't believe their
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  own lies. They don't believe their own
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  lies. A lot of narcissists, they don't
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  believe that those little small lies, they absolutely do not
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  believe. This shirt I have on right now
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  is not black. I know it's blue.
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  I know this shirt is blue. But if I told you it was black,
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  that's a lie. That I know is a lie you know.
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  But a lie told over time, a lie that I've told over time
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  repeatedly, is no longer a lie to me.
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  Now it might, it might be my truth, you know what I mean?
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  But if I say, if I repeat it, like if I repeat the lie in my
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  head. Like a mantra.
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  Like a mantra is like who? It is your fault.
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  It is your fault. It's their fault.
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  It's not my fault. It's their fault.
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  It's not my fault. It's their fault.
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  It's not my fault. It's their fault.
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  It's not my fault. If I repeat it like a mantra,
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  then it kind of becomes my truth.
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  It's not the truth. It's not the yo.
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  It's still a lie. It's still a lie.
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  If I tell, if I say it out loud, it's still a lie.
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  But it becomes a version of my truth.
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  It's my truth. Now, you see, I know it was a
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  lie originally, but now I now the the whatever happened is
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  convoluted. Whatever happened is
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  unpredictable. You know my now it's my truth.
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  Now it's my like, you see what I'm saying?
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  That's where that's how it goes. So you're dealing with a
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  narcissist or a toxic person or whoever.
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  Just understand this is the space that you're probably going
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  to be in with this person. You know, this is it.
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  Like they're going to lie to you, but they lie to themselves
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  first because they need to shake loose of that shame.
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  They need to shake loose of shame.
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  Shame Got to be shake. You got to shake loose and shame
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  like this. Like a little shame.
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  Free dance. I got to get rid of it.
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  I got to shake free of it. Because if I cannot shake free
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  of shame. If I'm weighed down by shame,
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  it's shame. It's taking over my life.
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  There's nothing I can do. I'm damn near inoperative.
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  I can't do anything else. I cannot move forward with my
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  life. I cannot do anything else if I'm
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  feeling like a bad person. Because feeling, you know,
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  getting deep into shame and feeling that shame can make you
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  spiral. If I caught y'all, y'all hear
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  people scared of the shame spiral, you know, it starts a
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  shame spiral. If I don't get rid of this
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  shame, then more shame comes in and I should start spinning with
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  shame. I don't like that the
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  narcissist, the narcissist, the person that you're dealing with
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  doesn't like it either. So that's what happens a lot of
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  time in these hot relationship dynamics.
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  Y'all they get a hold to you, they lie to you, they manipulate
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  you and they keep doing BS to you and messing with you.
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  That's part of it, you know. But they lie to themselves first
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  because they don't want to. The truth hurts.
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  The truth hurts the narcissist. The truth hurts the narcissist.
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  Y'all deeply. The truth deeply hurts the
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  narcissist. Usually that you're dealing with
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  it deeply hurts them. And it's not me trying to get
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  y'all to feel sorry for narcissistic person in your
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  life. Y'all know I don't do that.
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  I'm not This is not the feel sorry for narcissist channel.
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  This is the this is the hold that person accountable.
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  And if they are willing to be held accountable, it's good for
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  them. Let them do the work.
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  If they're not, we keep it moving.
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  You mean we keep it moving? Just in that space right there?
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  I just feel like if you're dealing with narcissistic
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  people, talks to people and this is where it's going, you feel
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  like they're lying to you. They're lying to themselves too.
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  Don't feel sorry. Look, do not feel sorry for them
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  about lying to themselves. Yeah, you can have some empathy,
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  empathy towards them, but yeah, pathological liars,
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  pathologically lied to everybody, including themselves.
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  Like they don't. They're out.
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  The truth. The truth.
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  They lie so much, if the truth gets mixed up, they don't know
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  what the hell the truth is. Like they know the the baseline
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  of it. Yeah.
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  Yeah, I lied. Yeah, I cheated.
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  But who caused this? Who caused me to do this?
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  Who caused this to happen? You see what I'm saying?
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  Like, they know that the truth is in there somewhere, but it's
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  just like it's it's it's like the the center of something.
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  It's like digging to like the center of the earth.
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  It's like the the the truth is at the core.
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  You know how hard it is to get. You know how hard it is to get
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  to the core of the Earth? Nobody's ever been there before.
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  Probably never get there before. There's so much pressure and
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  heat and stuff like that is nobody's ever been there before.
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  Nobody ever will go there. So you might not ever discover
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  the truth. You see it isn't that space
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  right there? Because they protect the they
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  protect the truth like a a precious gym.
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  Because the truth hurts like one of the like one of the main.
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  One of the main. I don't know if y'all know.
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  Alex. Alex Murdoch from South
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  Carolina. The old old attorney that got
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  convicted of unaliving his wife and his son.
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  Alex Murdoch. Check him out.
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  If y'all know who he is, like he clearly to me and to the jury
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  unallowed his son and his wife, right?
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  He was the only one there, the only one had access to the
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  weapons. Everybody knows he did it.
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  But he's going to take that lie to the grave because if he tell,
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  he's telling everybody else to this lie, you know what I'm
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  saying? He might as well tell himself
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  the same lies. Like I didn't unallow my
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  account, my wife and give somebody else did it.
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  Delusions. Everybody know he did it.
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  You know what I mean? Everybody know he did it.
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  So he's lying to himself and he's lying to everybody else.
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  You know, he's lied to himself about doing it, and he's lied to
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  everybody else. That's how he's trying to
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  convince himself that he's not at fault for taking the life of
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  his wife and his son. So narcissistic people will take
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  their lies to the grave, including internally, because
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  they don't want to deal with the shame.
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  It's just like, oh, you did it. I did do it.
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  No, Because if you tell yourself the truth, accountability comes
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  with that. Along with accountability comes
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  shame. Narcissistic people are trying
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  to avoid shame at all costs. They don't want to deal with the
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  shame. They want to shake free of the
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  shame. Y'all they just do.
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  They don't want to deal with it. They want to loose.
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  They want to get loose and break.
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  Break the ties that bond. Break break the shameful ties,
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  that bond you see. Well anyways, y'all take the
• 10:45
  opportunity then y'all y'all see the self love brand.
• 10:47
  I'm grateful straight on. Make sure if you made it this
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  far, make sure you like and subscribe to the channel.
• 10:51
  Y'all because it helps, helps me out and it helps everybody else
• 10:54
  out as well. Y'all doesn't cause anything to
• 10:55
  subscribe to the channel. I appreciate y'all good to hear.
• 10:59
  This is out peace. Thank you so much for making it
• 11:02
  to the end of my video. Y'all.
• 11:03
  If you didn't know, we wrote a kids book called Remember It's
• 11:06
  not your fault. To help kids understand that
• 11:09
  they are not in control of whatever circumstances they were
• 11:11
  born into. Talk about boundaries, telling
• 11:13
  the truth, all of that stuff. Y'all.
• 11:15
  It's available on Amazon right now or the link in my
• 11:18
  description of every single video or podcast that you listen
• 11:21
  to. Thank you so much.
• 11:22
  Remember, it's not your fault. Peace.