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Rabbi Moshe Haber Path of the Just -The Architecture of Internal Humility 2.19.26 · Rabbi Moshe Haber - Daily Mussar/Weekly Perasha

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  We're talking about humility the other day and we're speaking
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  about the fact that's a major challenge to be actually humble.
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  And we were explaining that it's very natural for a regular good
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  person to become arrogant without realizing it.
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  And we'll see exactly how to remain humble and how to value
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  humility on 4/4. Ukashuna dyke Dick.
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  He analyze it in himself. Shih Tsuyaba Makshavao Mason
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  Your mood is dependent on your mind and your actions.
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  The main home of you being humble, the main place where you
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  Moody rest is in your mind. First you have to be humble in
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  your head and then you act like humble people.
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  If you're not humble in your mind, you tell it and I might
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  say you want to act humble, but you mind you're not really that
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  way. That's the biggest sketch out
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  there. If a guy in his mind does not
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  think he needs to be him, he thinks he's gifted.
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  He thinks he's deserving a lot of praise.
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  He thinks he's a very important person.
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  He's you know, I like how people who humble act.
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  So I'm going to act and that humble way.
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  I'm going to like I always talk about woke up my hands like this
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  and bend over. I'm going to act humble.
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  He's not only is that not your Moody, it's great arrogance.
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  It's very arrogant to be a person who acts humble but does
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  not think of himself humble on his mind.
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  Why? Because the whole time you play
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  it out, if in your mind you're not humble, what you are
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  actually doing is you believe you deserve a lot.
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  You believe you deserve credit and so the only building on your
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  arrogance in your mind, tell me. When I see now the rabbi's that
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  will click that, that's guess. No, we are.
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  You know the the humble look. I don't feel like supposed to
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  pray that way with. Your heads down and pray that
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  way. Yes, as long as you're all
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  behind you. You said who watch, right?
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  Maybe it depends on this. It depends on if they get
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  insulted all the time. It depends on if they get
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  frustrated if someone doesn't treat them with respect.
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  It depends on a lot of different indications.
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  Just prove that they really care about the arrogance.
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  If if they really are 100% humble, then that act is the
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  finishing touch. If their action reflect their
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  mind, great. But if their mind is thinking
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  one thing and they're actually thinking a different thing,
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  that's the worst. So only that first in those days
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  is that. Well, you could tell over time
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  who's really humble, who's not. Depends how much they're made.
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  Even that sketch. A lot from my boys.
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  He cut on a whole song and dance when they're coming for A cause.
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  Yeah, you'd have to know, right? And.
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  Then you have to know it's always, no, you can't just trust
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  everything you see. All right, but but the idea is,
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  is that if a person's arrogant and they want to act humble,
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  what they're going to do is everything that they do in their
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  mind is actually playing into more comfortable.
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  We said the other day that a person who's arrogant in his
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  mind and humble in his actions, his humility is another way of
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  bringing in more cover because, you know, people love humility,
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  leads to hand. People love humble people.
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  So now this guy knows that and he's playing the double sketch.
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  So he's saying to himself, I like Kavod.
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  I like the way people treat me when they see me as a humble
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  person. So therefore I'm going to act
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  more humble to get more on her. It's a crazy way of thinking,
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  but it's a reality. The point is, is that a person
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  needs to develop you million their mind.
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  Now how do you get the million in your mind?
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  How do you build that sort of source in your head when the
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  truth is you think you're gifted.
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  So you have to go down the road of realizing no matter what
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  gifts you or I have, they're all God-given.
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  No matter what strengths we have, they're all orchestrated
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  by Hashem. You can take any great person's
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  life and make one small tweak and their entire story is
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  different. They never got that job offer
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  and everyone noticed for their talent.
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  No one ever spoke to them at a certain age.
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  And the one they picked up on the gifts, they were in the
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  right family. Any of these things could
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  completely switch their position in life.
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  And a person who wants to be humble on his mind and he's
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  gifted, he has to internalize that concept.
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  And you and I have to internalize the concept part
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  about makeup, which is at first I think to myself, how could I
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  be humble? I have so many gifts.
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  And then you think to yourself, how could you be arrogant?
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  All you gifts and all your greatness would have.
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  It's completely gifted by thought.
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  It's totally and and it's orchestrated to be in a perfect,
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  it's a perfect stall. You know, there are family, the
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  right community, the right time, right?
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  People need that kind of help today.
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  All those things playing into your position and the moment a
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  person loses sight of that is a very scary day because that's
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  what they become. They think to themselves that
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  they deserve a lot of credit. All you need to do in your mind
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  as you look at such a person and remove one part of their success
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  makeup one part. All right, I'll tell you what I
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  mean. Should we?
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  So, for example, if a person is a great speaker, all right, and
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  they feel gifted, all you need to do is do you mind?
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  What if they didn't have that power of speaking?
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  What if they didn't have that voice or they didn't have that
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  that unique trait, the whole thing's gone.
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  Or how about if they have that crowd, maybe the crowd and
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  certain times, you know, 20 years ago, the crowd would not
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  have been open to these types of speeches gone or have out if
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  they didn't have that family out.
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  They didn't have that yeshiva upbringing also gone.
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  They didn't have that wife who allows them to speak that way.
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  Whatever gone, every single part of this person's makeup is 1000%
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  God gifted and I could say something about myself for sure.
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  It's easy for you to see mine because of the family, the
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  background, that father, etcetera.
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  But every person has to think that way.
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  So I have a question that so. Then a person could internalize
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  that is Hashem is about like something wrong with me.
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  Hashem, they didn't get from me. Another person doesn't have that
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  talent. Yeah.
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  Yeah. Well, that other person, for
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  starters, has it easier being humble.
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  You're right and other you guys you want you want like going
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  telling. Like I ran my oldies to call me.
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  You know you're getting at the house.
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  No one was hanging out with that kid, right?
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  Right, right, right, right. The house and you're getting all
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  I do have my kids all the time so.
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  Yeah, and and it always we understood it right.
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  You know, I could see a guy who. Has.
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  The world and and sometimes it's so obvious to see how Hazid is
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  right. Sure, he's.
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  Just he's just flying out for attention or health short of
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  something, you know, But sometimes the person himself
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  while he's thinking that of, you know, trying to to put himself
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  in a good head and maybe start to think, wow, is this how
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  Kirsten like better helps himself?
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  Like I'm not being gifted with anything.
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  I don't have anything right. Maybe it's like when a person
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  does that cash one good, you know, and and says, all right,
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  maybe I need to work on this or that good doesn't know what.
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  Happened like that, no. So how is our workplace?
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  I think an arrogant person, person who's tempted to be
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  arrogant because he has certain gifts he needs to downplay with
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  these ways. Fine, Clear.
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  It's only because of the money. It's only because of the this,
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  because of that, because of the family fun.
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  Simple. A person whose natural makeup is
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  a little more low key. He doesn't need to think this
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  way. He doesn't need to play.
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  This is a little bit of a job that a person has them.
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  The natural go to logic is not this.
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  A natural go to logic is to think I am what I am and I am
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  gifted for what I have. Where's the narcissist get into
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  this? Narcissist, it's a little bit
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  different. Narcissist, someone who's all
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  about himself, all right, that don't fit anyway.
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  That's it, by the way, it's all about themselves.
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  What's so silly about a narcissist is that they they
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  really overdid their whole existence and they think that,
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  you know, maybe they have a certain gift, a certain talent,
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  a certain thing that people like to have and be busy with them.
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  They don't realize that people like you for your certain gifts
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  and I'm just like, you don't like your overall makeup fully
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  and they get a little too busy with themselves.
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  That's a narcissist problem. That's how much your arrogant
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  problem. Narcissist arrogant is a little
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  different. Arrogant as someone believes
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  that based on my existence, based on my talents, I should be
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  at the center of everything. An artist is this I believe a
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  little differently or maybe I translation work, but our sister
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  just so busy with themselves and they need themselves to be a
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  center of attention to drop different.
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  One thinks he deserves it. One almost needs it all right
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  now. Like I said, a person who has a
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  makeup who's naturally humble. How's that He's a worker at a
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  company. He's not an owner.
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  He's not really worth let's have so much money.
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  He's not so famous. He has a regular family all
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  regular stuff that's perfectly fine.
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  He did not need to think about this at all.
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  That person, first of all, two things.
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  One, he probably has an area which will attempt it to become
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  arrogant Part 1. But Part 2, he doesn't even
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  think this way. It's not the natural way of
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  thinking. This is to take this is this is
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  someone who wants to, you know, take themselves down to bring
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  themselves back to noble. This is the mindset, and it's
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  such an important, significant mindset that a person needs to
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  have because you can all lose ourselves if we allow our
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  arrogant Senate. And it's very dangerous, very
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  risky. And any person could have become
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  a person without worth anything. Also, there was a lot of money.
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  A person who wasn't a rabbi because the rabbi, not a
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  community leader, because president of the organization.
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  All these things, you watch them and you say so.
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  I remember that guy was such a nice guy.
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  And then you see change, change a lot.
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  How's that? Happen.
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  Absolute power corrupts absolutely.
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  It does, and well, how does it corrupt in this specific way?
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  It gets in a person's hand. But the joke is, and we all know
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  this joke. The joke is, is who we to be?
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  Are you? You could take any person, I
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  mean you could be any person I'm talking about from how many of
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  you say what's up all the way down to anybody and you could
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  change one part of their position and that position is
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  gone. Now, the great rabbis knew not
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  to be hierarchy position, so he was but the regular simple
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  person who just sees his success and doesn't see the full
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  picture. You could look at them and say I
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  could poke a hole in that in five seconds, 5 seconds, right?
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  You give me anyone. I tell you, you're not going to
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  test any names on the recording, but give me anybody and it can
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  be done to them, any present organization.
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  Right. You really call a guy your
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  father was an axe, you wouldn't be here, right.
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  And then the guy, he might be, oh, I did it.
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  So you might not say anything, but he performing now he's off.
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  Yeah. When you do the daily, you have
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  a car. Not today.
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  I would sound good tomorrow. Not to share all right, I don't
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  introduce that way, but the idea is yes, maybe 100% to that
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  point. There are people and the the the
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  most likable people in the world are the people who get this.
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  The least like of people in the world are the people who don't.
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  That's literally that's how far it goes.
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  The guy who doesn't cash out to this point is somebody you don't
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  want to be around because he keeps talking about I I, I I
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  made this, I built this. I have way of doing things I
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  broke you do and you may be very gifted and follows so loved so
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  much. People used to talk about how
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  they made their business all right, and their talents and
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  their gifts and all these things.
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  And he's to say that, you know, if anyone thinks too deeply, you
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  can tell that it wasn't them. Who were they, fool?
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  It wasn't them. It tell me not the person and
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  the person has to realize that even though there are people who
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  are very gifted in business, I'm not saying they're not.
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  There are people who are very gifted at being rabbis.
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  I'm not saying that they are very gifted, but still, even
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  those talents and even those gifts, it came from a certain
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  makeup, right? I'll tell you personally my own
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  ability, whatever it may be, it's certain learning things.
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  I went to certain yeshivas. They were very good at certain
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  elements of learning. You work on it so far, but that
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  thank God I went to those issues.
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  I was this close to going to a different yeshiva.
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  Devil would had upbringing. It would have been a story.
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  All right, that's where your. Humbleness comes because you
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  really. That's not be upset when any
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  person has it see. Yeshiva so that I can get the
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  best. Out of it, any person, any great
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  person does see that but the truth that.
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  There is thing that it happened to a person you had a woe when a
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  young age. Yeah, you're handsome.
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  You're athletic, you're wealthy. And you don't have to
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  appreciate. You don't you don't get a chance
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  to build yourself to be able to what happens now if one of these
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  sticks gets pulled out of the, you know, out of the Lego you
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  you full heart where a person who is just a regular guy,
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  right? Not the best, not the worst,
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  Something, you know, dismantle and you know, you can't really,
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  the guy's solid. He can't can't really poke a
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  hole in him because he was never here.
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  Now that guy could build himself to superstar.
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  If he does and remain the same person, yeah.
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  So now his risk both ways. A guy who starts off right, a
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  guy starts off everything, you know, Silva spoon the whole
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  business. He's at risk because he can't
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  handle any folds, can't any any anything changing his life.
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  Oh, that's correct. Right.
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  And he does have a built in arrogance because he does
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  believe that he doesn't believe that this is how it works, is
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  how life is and must just be. I have some sort of gifts.
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  A guy who starts off with nothing.
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  He does have the capability of becoming the best version of a
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  person because when he builds himself up in every single way
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  and he remains grounded. Awesome person.
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  The best person to be around if. You're worse.
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  If you learned. When you were poor.
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  That's. What I will be remembered when
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  you're well, but so let's. Suppose so there the logic is
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  yes, if you learned that when you're poor, you'll be able to
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  learn that when you're wealthy. That's what he says.
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  So the logic over there is is it that it comes to challenge when
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  a person leads to that would challenge the able to learn to
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  that would ease as well. That's a little bit of a
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  different point here. When you're talking against
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  arrogance and person needs to remain the same person.
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  You have to always remain grounded and you have to find
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  ways to keep yourself grounded. If you're wealthy, you have to
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  find ways to tell yourself wasn't me.
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  If you're a rabbi and tell yourself I don't deserve the
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  position, you're a president and you're just a famous person,
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  very popular, whatever it may be, to find ways to keep
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  yourself grounded. And you're doing it not only
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  because you want to have good character, it's for your own
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  sake. There's nothing more likable
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  than the guy who remains low key.
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  And there's nothing more detestable, literally than the
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  person that becomes Arabic. That's how it works.
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  I have a friend that's very low key and he's very, very well,
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  well off and he and he and he has he's blessed in life.
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  He knows it and he's so low key about it that that's why if
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  that's why he really his love, but his love because of that
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  even. There you go.
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  And that's how it. Is and everyone knows him and
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  everyone knows that trade about. So Messiah, I have to say, he's
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  telling us over here, the only way to get to this point is not
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  to act humble. You have to be humble in your
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  mind. You have to stop and tell
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  yourself, by the way, let's be very real.
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  Humility is never a contrast to confidence.
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  Never. It doesn't mean you don't
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  believe you have gifts. It does not mean you don't
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  believe that you know you have talents and business.
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  You do. That's great.
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  You do have talents. But you feel that I shine with
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  your wings, and you feel that God put you in the right place,
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  gave you those talents. Used to make the outcomes.
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  It's that. Slow, I mean look at people it's
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  100% Look at people who are very gifted and then they they longer
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  they get sick or they get old or the world changes.
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  You look at all these people, you say to yourself, obviously
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  it's God-given right. If a tech guy lived in a
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  different age, his his his worth, his his mental ability
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  may not be applicable to today. Right.
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  It'd be ahead of his time, right?
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  Everyone His. Time his time.
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  So it's just how the way war works.
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  And you have to be very honest for yourself and to be a little
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  bit, like I said, you know, vulnerable to be OK with the
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  idea that you're not worth everything.
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  You might, but you develop a certain like ability, a certain
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  roundness, a certain sure, they give up.
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  You develop a lot of anything to do.
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  You develop a way. You develop a way that becomes
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  so likable, but the core and the key is in your mind.
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  If you don't let it rest in your mind and you're at risk of
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  becoming arrogant. Person do not think like a lot
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  of times we have this idea. They use the external and
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  reflect the internal. That's true in general in this
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  one specific media. It starts from within.
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  It starts in your mind. If your mind is right, if your
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  mind is humble, if your mind has the right approach in a good
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  spot, if it's the opposite, cannot use the external actions
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  as a way. Actually, that plays into more
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  arrogance. That's who's telling you go stop
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  this.