Latest / Work It Like A Mum / Divine Direction: How Faith Fueled Samantha Lubanzu's Inspiring Journey

Transcript

Divine Direction: How Faith Fueled Samantha Lubanzu's Inspiring Journey · Work It Like A Mum

• 0:01
  Speaker 1: Hey, I'm Elizabeth Willits and I'm obsessed with helping as many women as possible achieve their boldest dreams after kids and helping you turn navigate this messy and magical season of life.
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: I'm a working mum with over 17 years of recruitment experience and I'm the founder of the Investing in Women Job Board and Community.
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: In this show, I'm honoured to be chatting with remarkable women redefining our working world across all areas of business.
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: They'll share their secrets on how they've achieved extraordinary success after children, set boundaries and balance, the challenges they've faced and how they've overcome them to define their own versions of success.
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: Shied away from the real talk.
• 0:45
  Speaker 1: No way.
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: Money struggles, growth, loss, boundaries and balance we cover it all.
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: Think of this as coffee with your mates, mixed with an inspiring TED talk sprinkled with the career advice you wish you'd really had at school.
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: So grab a cup of coffee or a glass of wine and make sure you cozy and get ready to get inspired and chase your boldest dreams, or just survive Mondays.
• 1:07
  Speaker 1: This is the Work it Like A Mum podcast.
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: This episode is brought to you by Investing in Women.
• 1:16
  Speaker 1: Investing in Women is a job board and recruitment agency helping you find your dream part-time or flexible job with the UK's most family-friendly and forward-thinking employers.
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: Their site can help you find a professional and rewarding job that works for you.
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: They're proud to partner with the UK's most family-friendly employers across a range of professional industries, Ready to find your perfect job.
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: Search their website at investinginwomencouk to find your next part-time or flexible job opportunity.
• 1:51
  Speaker 1: Now back to the show.
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: Hello and welcome to this week's episode of the Work it Like A Mum podcast.
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: Today I'm chatting to one of my favourite people.
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: I absolutely love her and I hope you do too.
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: She's got brilliant personality Samantha Labanzu.
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: She is a fellow IVF mum like me.
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: She's got six children now.
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: She juggles thriving business, which has various different strands, as well as some freelancing work as well.
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: She is a busy, busy lady and I'm sure we're going to learn lots from Samantha about how to juggle family and work and growing a business.
• 2:26
  Speaker 1: I'm going to be chatting to her today and she's also super passionate about diversity and inclusion as well, so definitely going to be talking about that too.
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: Thank you so much, Samantha, for joining me today.
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: I'm really excited to talk to you because, like I said, I absolutely adore chatting with you.
• 2:42
  Speaker 1: This is like a brilliant half an hour now that we're just going to have a great chat.
• 2:47
  Speaker 2: There's so much synergy between us, isn't there?
• 2:49
  Speaker 2: From IVF to, obviously, the diverse inclusion side of things and women equality and all that great chat, every time we speak it's just always the same.
• 3:00
  Speaker 2: We've just got so much to talk about.
• 3:01
  Speaker 2: So, yeah, it is great to be listening and I can't wait to see where this goes this time.
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: I'm so excited.
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: Yes, so I'm really interested.
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: You are obviously working for a huge bank we won't mention which one, but they worked for, I'm sure people if they want to go on your LinkedIn, they'll say you work for a big bank and now you work for yourself.
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: So talk me through and listen through what that transition looked like and why you made that transition.
• 3:26
  Speaker 2: You know, it's a really interesting story and I'm actually going to go a bit spiritual here now because before so I had given birth to two children.
• 3:36
  Speaker 2: At that particular point and I just got this real feeling like it's time for me to leave and I knew that for me, I was like I'm a Christian, it was like God telling me, saying you need to go now.
• 3:46
  Speaker 2: And it was really strange because I kind of got to the pivot.
• 3:49
  Speaker 2: Oh, like I spent so much of my time building my career to get to this particular point, the pivot of where I wanted to be global HR business partner in a top company, and I was actually here, had children, had everything I'd actually prayed for, wished for, desired.
• 4:07
  Speaker 2: I literally was living the dream.
• 4:09
  Speaker 2: And then get a message time to go, time to move on.
• 4:12
  Speaker 2: You're like what, what?
• 4:15
  Speaker 1: How long did you feel like you were getting that message for them before you acted on it?
• 4:20
  Speaker 2: So I just felt this right away.
• 4:21
  Speaker 2: It was interesting.
• 4:21
  Speaker 2: It was a conversation I was having.
• 4:23
  Speaker 2: One of my peers was saying we're going on maternity.
• 4:27
  Speaker 2: She was going on a career break.
• 4:29
  Speaker 2: What's the other one?
• 4:29
  Speaker 2: It was a career break, but yeah, she was.
• 4:32
  Speaker 2: She was getting married and she was like I'm going to be traveling around the world.
• 4:34
  Speaker 2: She was like she had a meeting, like trips to Thailand and Malaysia and all these different places traveling after getting married, and she was like I'll see you when I get back.
• 4:43
  Speaker 2: And that's when the message came.
• 4:45
  Speaker 2: And I was like you won't see me when you get back.
• 4:47
  Speaker 2: And she was like oh, you've known each other for years.
• 4:50
  Speaker 2: Going, you're doing your thing again.
• 4:51
  Speaker 2: And I was like what do you want?
• 4:53
  Speaker 2: She calls it my thing, where's when I get a message?
• 4:55
  Speaker 2: And I was like no, I believe I'm meant to leave.
• 4:58
  Speaker 2: So by the time you come back, I would have gone.
• 5:01
  Speaker 2: And what's interesting is she only had a six month.
• 5:04
  Speaker 2: That's a gold career break, whatever you want.
• 5:06
  Speaker 2: And so for me I was like, oh, my days, I'm going to be, I'm not going to be here anymore.
• 5:11
  Speaker 2: And she's like, oh, my goodness, I've just got that message just now.
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: I said yeah, it was like.
• 5:15
  Speaker 2: Oh, this is it.
• 5:18
  Speaker 2: And I was like, oh, my days, this is our last day.
• 5:21
  Speaker 2: Because it was like our last, like we were all saying goodbye and it was like this is our last day.
• 5:25
  Speaker 2: So last day, as peers, obviously we were friends outside of work.
• 5:28
  Speaker 2: So it was like I can't believe it.
• 5:29
  Speaker 2: And I knew it wasn't, I wasn't going to resign.
• 5:32
  Speaker 2: I just knew I wouldn't resign.
• 5:33
  Speaker 2: There was going to be a time where I knew it was time she went off and then three months later I got told about an opportunity for voluntary redundancy, and voluntary redundancy never, very rarely, happens in HR in this company.
• 5:47
  Speaker 2: It happens every 10 years, if that, yeah.
• 5:49
  Speaker 2: And when it came up, I've been there for about that time, about 17 years I was like this is it.
• 5:57
  Speaker 1: And you got a little payout, maybe quite good payout.
• 5:59
  Speaker 1: You got a payout.
• 6:00
  Speaker 2: Yeah, this is, this is.
• 6:02
  Speaker 2: I'm glad I didn't just resign and just go right and post the leave and resign, because I would have lost the opportunity to take the redundancy.
• 6:08
  Speaker 2: So I was like this is, this is my opportunity.
• 6:11
  Speaker 2: So I went and submitted my voluntary redundancy and it was quite funny because they then embargoed Manchester to say everyone else can go but people in Manchester, and like it's only me in Manchester talking about and the other person that's like you're trying to block, everyone else can go but me.
• 6:29
  Speaker 2: There was like two of us actually, but the majority of people were in London.
• 6:34
  Speaker 2: So it was kind of very strange that they would want to embargo one whole other place.
• 6:41
  Speaker 2: That wasn't really strategic, you know.
• 6:43
  Speaker 2: So I was just like I really want to go because it's time for me to go.
• 6:48
  Speaker 2: I've served my time.
• 6:50
  Speaker 2: It was a service you get less for jail.
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: So you do.
• 6:54
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you get less from you know, let murder, Let me go.
• 6:57
  Speaker 2: So I had to kind of negotiate and they were like, right, if this is really what you want to do, we're going to support it.
• 7:02
  Speaker 2: So, and that's basically what happened.
• 7:04
  Speaker 2: And then, just as I pulled it through and then we're going through the consultation period, I found I was pregnant not just pregnant, but pregnant with twins and I was like this cannot be the message to leave.
• 7:15
  Speaker 2: Why would I leave?
• 7:16
  Speaker 2: Like this doesn't make sense.
• 7:18
  Speaker 2: I'm in my dream career.
• 7:18
  Speaker 2: I mean, like, even though there was, there was challenges in my company that I was facing separately flexible working, one being one of them.
• 7:26
  Speaker 2: I loved the job I was doing and I had two children.
• 7:30
  Speaker 2: I had a flexibility, you know, I had what I wanted.
• 7:33
  Speaker 2: Basically, it didn't really make sense, the decision, and then to find out I was pregnant with twins and they came back to me and go, you know you can stay.
• 7:42
  Speaker 2: Yeah, You'd have got maternity pay, I guess.
• 7:44
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you know you can stay.
• 7:46
  Speaker 2: And I was just like no, I'm meant to go, I'm meant to go.
• 7:49
  Speaker 2: I know I feel it so intensely.
• 7:51
  Speaker 2: I didn't know why.
• 7:52
  Speaker 2: I was like what I was going to do, what I was going to do.
• 7:54
  Speaker 2: I just knew it was time.
• 7:56
  Speaker 2: Yeah Well, I took the sleep of faith, not really knowing where I was going, what I was going to do, and I was just like right, I'm going to do it.
• 8:03
  Speaker 2: And, interestingly, I did negotiate my maternity pay as well, because I'm HR and I know how to negotiate and I'm legally trained.
• 8:09
  Speaker 2: So I remember saying to them yes, so I will take my redundancy and I'll take my maternity.
• 8:14
  Speaker 2: And they were like what, what do you mean?
• 8:17
  Speaker 2: You were leaving, we're not going to give you maternity pay.
• 8:19
  Speaker 2: And I was like no, you actually owe me because of the time that I'm leaving with the guardian.
• 8:23
  Speaker 2: Leave it actually.
• 8:25
  Speaker 2: You know.
• 8:25
  Speaker 2: I had to tell them basically how I qualified for maternity because they were like really, Do you really?
• 8:30
  Speaker 2: I said we're going to check legal and like I am legal, I am your HR legal, but you can do that if you want to.
• 8:36
  Speaker 2: It's always good to have a backup.
• 8:38
  Speaker 2: And they came back and go.
• 8:39
  Speaker 2: Of course, you're right, that's what we paid you for, Sam, that's why we need you, that's why we need you to stay.
• 8:44
  Speaker 2: Things like you know, stuff like so, like so.
• 8:48
  Speaker 2: Basically we're like, literally, you're leaving with you not only your maternity redundancy but like a year's maternity pay as well, and I was like this is like perfect, I could take.
• 8:58
  Speaker 2: Not only could I take time off, but I could take it off comfortable.
• 9:01
  Speaker 2: I could take off the time with my kids, the four kids and and yeah, it was just really good Do you think having that faith helps you.
• 9:10
  Speaker 1: you know, at times when you are going through change, because you'll feel that you're feeling you're being guided and I.
• 10:09
  Speaker 2: Faith for me is, like, is my pivotal, like it is the thing that it keeps me grounded in everything that I do.
• 10:15
  Speaker 2: I do not make a decision without, yeah, faith.
• 10:19
  Speaker 2: Definitely it keeps me grounded.
• 10:21
  Speaker 2: I literally do not make a decision without consulting God, like that's part of being a Christian for me, and I don't know if I've ever told you this, but I actually what do you call a prophet?
• 10:32
  Speaker 2: So, oh my God, I love that conversation.
• 10:35
  Speaker 2: I know it's a random one, but when I say prophet, I mean is and I have a gift of the prophetic.
• 10:42
  Speaker 2: So basically I get messages quite clearly.
• 10:44
  Speaker 2: So what people outside would say psychic I wouldn't call that psychic because it doesn't apply to everyone so I can basically tap into people and find out.
• 10:55
  Speaker 2: You know, I can do all that.
• 10:56
  Speaker 2: So for me, when there's a message directly for me is quite powerful and profound.
• 11:01
  Speaker 2: But I can hear, I can't ignore it.
• 11:02
  Speaker 2: You ever heard the story of Jonah and the whale, where you can't run away from it?
• 11:07
  Speaker 2: It's just there.
• 11:07
  Speaker 2: So if I don't listen to it, it will continue just to be there.
• 11:12
  Speaker 2: I have to make a decision and and I won't be comfortable if, unless it's the right one, I feel uncomfortable, so it means that it shapes my life.
• 11:21
  Speaker 2: It tells me where I'm going, what I'm doing wrong and what I can do about it.
• 11:24
  Speaker 2: It's not for everything and it's not for everyone, so a bit woo woo here for you, I like it.
• 11:29
  Speaker 1: I'm just wondering if that I like it, because I suppose I get a lot of doubts in yourself.
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: You think, oh, am I doing the right thing?
• 11:35
  Speaker 1: Is this good?
• 11:36
  Speaker 1: I've done the wrong thing?
• 11:37
  Speaker 1: And I think a lot of people get that question themselves.
• 11:41
  Speaker 1: Do you ever question yourself?
• 11:43
  Speaker 2: All the time question myself.
• 11:44
  Speaker 2: All the time I have to tap into the source, which is God, for me to get the answer.
• 11:50
  Speaker 2: And sometimes the answer is not the answer I personally want.
• 11:53
  Speaker 2: It doesn't mean that I get the answer I want either.
• 11:56
  Speaker 2: It doesn't always the answer I'm comfortable with.
• 11:59
  Speaker 2: Sometimes the answer is you need to wait, and we are not patient people.
• 12:03
  Speaker 2: Sometimes I'm like wait, how long?
• 12:05
  Speaker 2: Like can you give me an exact timeline on that wait?
• 12:08
  Speaker 2: And I always get the exact timeline either.
• 12:11
  Speaker 2: So it's not always, I just know it's going to be some time in the future or sometime by the end of the year, or, you know, it's not always exact science, so for me it is.
• 12:21
  Speaker 2: It's still have to go through stuff.
• 12:23
  Speaker 2: The difference I found is I always say it's a blessing and it's also kind of it is a blessing, but it also comes with its cons as well.
• 12:31
  Speaker 2: Well, one is that when you make a decision, you just go with it and you feel fine about whatever decision you made.
• 12:39
  Speaker 2: If I make a decision that the will of God, what God is telling me to do, I cannot feel fine about it.
• 12:45
  Speaker 2: It doesn't.
• 12:45
  Speaker 2: I can't sleep, it's just impossible.
• 12:48
  Speaker 2: You don't feel a sense of peace because I can hear directly.
• 12:52
  Speaker 2: There's no doubt in that sense that I've heard.
• 12:55
  Speaker 2: It's just a decision I still got to make.
• 12:57
  Speaker 2: I have free will I choose.
• 13:00
  Speaker 2: I've got some really funny stories of where I've decided not to go, like to do the opposite.
• 13:04
  Speaker 2: As I was growing, I realised that I just listened to God.
• 13:06
  Speaker 2: Now where I've decided that.
• 13:07
  Speaker 2: I remember negotiating with God about I'm telling you this is you sound bonkers, but it's so true.
• 13:12
  Speaker 2: I remember when I go into, I lived in London and I remember that you need not to stay in London for too long and I was like well, I want to be there for a year.
• 13:22
  Speaker 2: And I remember hearing that you're going to only be there for six months and I was like no, I want to be there for a year.
• 13:28
  Speaker 2: It's quite young, and I was wanting to make an impression at least a year or longer.
• 13:32
  Speaker 2: And I remember feeling this really big sense that I could only be there for a certain period of time and what happened was I was sitting back, going, negotiating with God and I'm not joking, this is how it goes.
• 13:44
  Speaker 2: I'm like go, please, let me stay for longer, like you do with your dad, because that's my father, god.
• 13:50
  Speaker 2: And like, no, no, no, and I'm like, please let me.
• 13:54
  Speaker 2: And then eventually I heard this piece and okay, and I was like, oh, that was easy, okay.
• 13:59
  Speaker 2: And I was like, cool, cool, I'm going to stay longer.
• 14:02
  Speaker 2: Wow, what happened?
• 14:04
  Speaker 2: I went down to six months.
• 14:06
  Speaker 2: What happened exactly?
• 14:07
  Speaker 2: At six months, there was absolute chaos in my family.
• 14:10
  Speaker 2: There was family members that I'd passed away.
• 14:13
  Speaker 2: There was those things that needed to happen and I needed to be back home.
• 14:17
  Speaker 2: Basically, it was just like I needed to be back in Manchester.
• 14:20
  Speaker 2: I needed to be here where I could support my family.
• 14:23
  Speaker 2: And I remember going to my job was flexible, I could be based anywhere.
• 14:29
  Speaker 2: And I remember going to my boss and going you know what?
• 14:31
  Speaker 2: I'm going to go back to Manchester.
• 14:32
  Speaker 2: I was planning to be here for a long time, but it looks like I'm going to have to go back.
• 14:36
  Speaker 2: And they reject my application to go back, even though my role could be based anywhere.
• 14:41
  Speaker 2: They're like no, you're going to be in London.
• 14:43
  Speaker 2: And I was like but my job is flexible and anytime I tried to make it to try and move, it wasn't happening and it just got really, really difficult and I just remembered that thing came flashing back.
• 14:56
  Speaker 2: Remember, you wanted to stay longer.
• 14:58
  Speaker 2: Here's your longer.
• 14:59
  Speaker 2: And I was like no, let me go.
• 15:02
  Speaker 1: Oh my God, that was creepy.
• 15:05
  Speaker 2: Go back.
• 15:05
  Speaker 2: I need to go back.
• 15:06
  Speaker 2: And no matter what I did, I couldn't, like it was just impossible, like I literally had to stay there and I actually had to apply for another job.
• 15:13
  Speaker 2: In the end I was like, well, you know what I've done this matter of time, I can just apply for another job, and then applying for another job, getting that other job.
• 15:20
  Speaker 2: Then there was a big period of you know, before you have to wait for the, your references or the rest of it, and everything it was taking forever.
• 15:28
  Speaker 2: There was another, there was another block and a delay and it's like you kidding me and guess what the exact moment when I was supposed to go to start this other job, probably about a few weeks before, my boss turned around and goes it sounds like it's so difficult and what you're doing so much.
• 15:42
  Speaker 2: You're so good at what you do, why don't you just go back in man, back in Manchester?
• 15:48
  Speaker 2: Are you kidding me, did you just say?
• 15:50
  Speaker 2: After all of this, you told me no.
• 15:54
  Speaker 2: Now you're saying I can just stay in my job and be in Manchester, which is what I was trying to say in the first place.
• 15:59
  Speaker 2: I was so frustrated, so in the end, I ended up staying in my job and basically doing it from Manchester, but there could not be enough to get to that point and obviously be with my family, who really needed me at that particular time.
• 16:12
  Speaker 2: So for me, I've learned along the way that I have to listen and don't argue.
• 16:17
  Speaker 2: Just go with the flow, and sometimes it doesn't make sense, sometimes you don't have the answer right now, but there'll be an unfolding and a reason why things happen the way they do.
• 16:25
  Speaker 2: And sometimes because we're impatient, we want things now or we want things to be in our time, we don't know that there's something happening for us or to evolve us, or those around Bigger than us really yeah, bigger than us to make things better for us.
• 16:41
  Speaker 2: And just to let you know that after that particular year, my career just took off Like literally.
• 16:48
  Speaker 2: It was like the best time in the sense that I continue to progress in the career ladder, I continue to do really really well, I continue to excel.
• 16:57
  Speaker 2: There's a little stories in between that, but I did really well.
• 16:59
  Speaker 2: I got to my dream.
• 17:00
  Speaker 2: Career is the main thing.
• 17:02
  Speaker 2: Without going into the nitty-gritty because I can if we've got a lot of time I was going to say, because you've obviously got a coach.
• 17:09
  Speaker 1: I know you're a coach and you have a coach and you invest a lot in your education.
• 17:14
  Speaker 1: Does it ever feel contradictory what they're telling you to do what God's telling you to do, and how do you deal with that?
• 17:21
  Speaker 1: I know that you invest a lot in your education and development.
• 17:25
  Speaker 1: You've got a coach.
• 17:26
  Speaker 1: I know you coach people, but you also have a coach and I know you do all courses etc.
• 17:31
  Speaker 1: Does it ever feel contradictory what your coach tells you to do versus what God's telling you to do, and how do you deal with that?
• 17:39
  Speaker 1: I go with God.
• 17:41
  Speaker 2: So one of the coaches?
• 17:42
  Speaker 2: I don't have one coach.
• 17:43
  Speaker 2: I have coaches for various different things.
• 17:45
  Speaker 2: Depends on what I'm doing.
• 17:47
  Speaker 2: So I have a business coach, I have a corporate coach, Different things that I'm doing.
• 17:52
  Speaker 2: I have a life mindset coach.
• 17:55
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, you remind me of someone else.
• 17:58
  Speaker 1: I know that.
• 17:58
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I just have coaches?
• 17:59
  Speaker 2: for what are they expert in?
• 18:02
  Speaker 2: You know LinkedIn I used to have a LinkedIn coach and Instagram coach.
• 18:06
  Speaker 2: You know, for certain periods of my journey, I've had coach for various parts of what I needed at that particular moment.
• 18:14
  Speaker 2: Yeah, because I believe in coaches.
• 18:16
  Speaker 2: I think that if you've got someone gifted and talented in a particular area, grab hold of them, take advantage of what they have to give you to impart in you.
• 18:25
  Speaker 2: That's what coaches are for, isn't it?
• 18:28
  Speaker 2: So one of the coaches I remember really distinctively was Lisa Johnson.
• 18:32
  Speaker 2: I'm sure she's one of the ones I did as a one to one, and her VIP is not cheap and I remember praying and feeling like I need to have a coach in this in business.
• 18:43
  Speaker 2: I wanted someone who knew the online space really well and I've seen Lisa Johnson.
• 18:47
  Speaker 2: I wasn't like a fan, I didn't follow her, you know, particularly, but something kept telling me this is the person.
• 18:54
  Speaker 2: So I decided just to kind of watch her online, see what kind, how her teaching was, what was the style, and I was looking at other coaches as well to compare and contrast and to say is this really the one?
• 19:04
  Speaker 2: And I remember the Lord saying this is the person you're going to go with, definitely believe that and I'm so glad I took that leap of faith and I went with her because one of the things that happened is she showed me my asset.
• 19:15
  Speaker 2: Basically I was, there, was very much into my career, coaching that particular point and bit of business coaching that particular time, but actually she showed me my skills and she actually showed me the diversity, inclusion side that I already had from my HR background, my legal background and the stuff I'd already done through in that space in the 20 years on HR is like you've literally got all this experience.
• 19:38
  Speaker 2: Why not capitalize on that?
• 19:40
  Speaker 2: Why not use that?
• 19:41
  Speaker 2: Why not give it to the world?
• 19:42
  Speaker 2: And that's like that's exposing all my vulnerabilities and all the things I've ever been through.
• 19:46
  Speaker 2: You know all the micro question, the racism, the disadvantages, the poverty, the things I've had to go through as a black woman.
• 19:53
  Speaker 2: I had to kind of expose myself in order to help and shape businesses and I knew that that was really going to make me.
• 19:59
  Speaker 2: It put me in a really vulnerable situation.
• 20:01
  Speaker 2: You know, I said I'm going to go for it and I'm going to do it and I did and it has taken off and it's been the bit part of my business that is bigger than any other part of my business, and it's because I've probably joined at the very right time, diversity, inclusion being as big as it is.
• 20:15
  Speaker 2: But I really believe that people come to me because I am me, yeah.
• 20:20
  Speaker 2: So I have not only the experience but the lived experiences, the passion behind what I'm doing, and I generally, generally care not just about the end result, the end user.
• 20:32
  Speaker 2: You know people that look like me or look like you know the women or whatever it may be.
• 20:36
  Speaker 2: But I'm also, I care about the businesses, because those businesses believe it or not, it's a lot of people like, oh well, they're just greeting know they have a responsibility for the communities that they serve.
• 20:47
  Speaker 2: If they win, we win.
• 20:49
  Speaker 2: You know that's the difference.
• 20:50
  Speaker 2: You know having a win, win philosophy in life.
• 20:54
  Speaker 2: If they win, we win.
• 20:55
  Speaker 2: If they're in your communities and they're pouring into you, it pours back into those communities times 100.
• 21:01
  Speaker 2: So they benefit, they're profitable and they're doing the right thing.
• 21:05
  Speaker 2: It means that what they're doing is going to be instilled into those communities as well.
• 21:09
  Speaker 2: Win, win.
• 21:10
  Speaker 2: And that's what I'm about.
• 21:12
  Speaker 2: I really care about everyone and I have a real holistic view.
• 21:17
  Speaker 2: That's why I've got like my pulse 360 method, which is literally looking at everything from the inside out, not just looking at the end result, but actually looking at everything that accomplishes diversity inclusion, because you have to.
• 21:29
  Speaker 2: You know it's a win-win in a ways.
• 21:31
  Speaker 2: And the question you asked me, just to get back to it, is have I ever kind of gone against what my coach has said?
• 21:37
  Speaker 2: And I said yeah, because I remember my coach particularly saying one of the things is building your audience in diversity inclusion.
• 21:43
  Speaker 2: Build your audio, build your audience.
• 21:44
  Speaker 2: That's the key, isn't it, to success?
• 21:46
  Speaker 2: As the bigger your audience, the more likely you're going to be successful.
• 21:49
  Speaker 2: And one of the things is that my audience was still quite tiny.
• 21:52
  Speaker 2: Do I go and launch a product while it's still tiny or do I just keep trying to build this audience, which I'd already carried on?
• 21:58
  Speaker 2: And one of her advice was just wait, keep building your audience, which is definitely the right thing to do.
• 22:03
  Speaker 2: But something in me, which is my spiritual, my God, telling me launch now.
• 22:08
  Speaker 2: And I just couldn't get.
• 22:10
  Speaker 2: Why would I launch with like a what is a tiny audience?
• 22:13
  Speaker 2: It doesn't make sense.
• 22:15
  Speaker 2: Anyway, I launched and I knew it was going to be a tiny audience.
• 22:18
  Speaker 2: It's going to be a tiny.
• 22:19
  Speaker 2: You know I wasn't going to get as many people as I'd want to get in, you know, in there, and I am so glad that I launched and I listened to that inner self, that God in me, because I launched.
• 22:31
  Speaker 2: One of the things that happened was the first thing is it was a tiny group of people, but those people were actually really safe and they were really looked after.
• 22:41
  Speaker 2: They gave me so much feedback on how to shape the course because it was it was only a small group I could really deliver but also receive and they could really underpin and help me to make it the very best version of what it was going to be, not knowing that I was going to relaunch it again the following year and relaunch with a product which is ready for the market, move pure feedback in the back of it.
• 23:06
  Speaker 2: And if I would have left it I wouldn't be able to do what I'm doing now.
• 23:09
  Speaker 1: You know I want me to launch my I mean there'll be people listening to this that have small audiences, that may be launching a business and don't have a big audience.
• 23:19
  Speaker 1: What would you say to them?
• 23:21
  Speaker 2: Well, my coach would say build your audience.
• 23:24
  Speaker 2: And I would say, yes, build your audience.
• 23:27
  Speaker 2: Have that in background, but there's nothing wrong with testing the market and, if did, a business degree.
• 23:34
  Speaker 2: And one of the things they say in terms of launching.
• 23:36
  Speaker 2: What you've got to understand is, if your market is still small, you're going to get research done.
• 23:41
  Speaker 2: With that small market they're going to be, and not only that, you can do the attention which you won't be able to do when you're so big.
• 23:49
  Speaker 2: You have so much that you haven't got the time to capitalise on that.
• 23:55
  Speaker 2: Telling that you're going to get access to me, you know that is the selling point in itself, isn't it Right?
• 24:02
  Speaker 2: You're going to get me and you really want to scan because I am growing and the less capacity I have, and it means that you know I've got coaches now that actually go out instead of me because my business is.
• 24:14
  Speaker 2: So that means that you may only see parts of me filtered into what I've.
• 24:20
  Speaker 2: You know what's being delivered, but you may not actually get access to me directly.
• 24:24
  Speaker 2: So, understanding that your business will grow, you will not be just a one-man band forever, that's what I'd say.
• 24:30
  Speaker 2: Go for it.
• 24:31
  Speaker 1: It's good idea.
• 24:31
  Speaker 1: I mean, I know Lisa, I mean I don't know like you know, but I follow her and I know you know not to not care, but that's very.
• 24:36
  Speaker 1: There's a danger, isn't it?
• 24:37
  Speaker 1: If you spend so much time building your audience and you may never launch something, or be you might launch something and it isn't actually what your audience wants and you've built the wrong product, you know.
• 24:47
  Speaker 1: So there's nothing wrong.
• 24:49
  Speaker 1: Personally, I don't think we'd launch it I.
• 24:50
  Speaker 1: It's such a swastable.
• 24:52
  Speaker 1: There was only a hundred people.
• 24:52
  Speaker 1: You know a couple of hundred people, if that one I first launched and and you can make you, the stakes are so much less high.
• 24:59
  Speaker 1: When the audience is small, because you haven't got so many eyeballs, you can sort of make mistakes.
• 25:05
  Speaker 1: You can get a little bit harder as well as you get bigger.
• 25:09
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and I think yeah, well, diversity in that show that is getting made.
• 25:14
  Speaker 2: It's a big company that has a detriment on your people.
• 25:20
  Speaker 2: You know, because people have livelihoods.
• 25:22
  Speaker 2: You know it makes mistakes when you're small.
• 25:26
  Speaker 1: Yeah absolutely so.
• 25:29
  Speaker 1: I know that obviously you are a fellow IVF mum, like me.
• 25:31
  Speaker 1: I know how grueling that process is.
• 25:34
  Speaker 1: Is that not knowing?
• 25:35
  Speaker 1: Is it going to happen with me?
• 25:36
  Speaker 1: Am I going to become a mum?
• 25:38
  Speaker 1: How did your faith support you during that time?
• 25:42
  Speaker 2: So what I was saying is my faith is like my anchor, it's the biggest thing for me in everything I do, every aspect of my life, my dreams and my goals.
• 25:51
  Speaker 2: And what I was saying to you is that we got married and we just thought it was just going to happen and it just didn't.
• 25:57
  Speaker 2: One year goes to two years, you know.
• 26:00
  Speaker 2: It starts weeks and then years, and we had priests, pastors, you know quite a lot of significant individuals praying for us and nothing actually worked.
• 26:09
  Speaker 2: And what we decided to do is my husband's from Africa and traditionally they are very kind of, quite strict with you know, a woman has to get pregnant or they're barren, they're good for nothing.
• 26:25
  Speaker 2: You know, in certain cultures they really don't treat women very well if they haven't produced an heir.
• 26:31
  Speaker 2: But my husband was having none of that.
• 26:34
  Speaker 2: He was just like it's going to happen, we're believing and we're standing and that's it.
• 26:37
  Speaker 2: And his faith was really strong when it came to that.
• 26:41
  Speaker 2: And it was hard because for me as a woman, we have our constant reminders, don't we?
• 26:45
  Speaker 2: Which is when we have a period every month it hasn't worked.
• 26:49
  Speaker 2: Every month is a failure as far as we're concerned.
• 26:51
  Speaker 2: It's really hard.
• 26:52
  Speaker 2: So, no matter how you look at it, this month wasn't successful.
• 26:56
  Speaker 2: You know, this month it didn't work for us and that's hard, as you know.
• 27:00
  Speaker 2: It's so hard and it's just heart breaking.
• 27:03
  Speaker 2: And even with as much faith as you have, you do cry out to God and say why, why me, why am I going through this?
• 27:11
  Speaker 2: And I remember getting the message from God to say and it's an interesting one because one of the messages were and it's a quote from the Bible that you will be a joyful mother of many children.
• 27:21
  Speaker 2: So you laugh about that now.
• 27:23
  Speaker 1: That's nice Lainia.
• 27:25
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I used to just declare that word and just say it over myself I will be a joyful mother of many children.
• 27:30
  Speaker 2: I remember one time I got invited to speak in church and I was a children's minister at the time.
• 27:37
  Speaker 2: I always look after little kids on a Sunday, every Sunday, and I remember just talking about how amazing the kids are and I used to say they're all my children, they're your kids.
• 27:46
  Speaker 2: You know they are your kids, but on Sunday they're mine.
• 27:49
  Speaker 2: I make sure that I treat them each one as if they are mine, like I pray into their lives.
• 27:55
  Speaker 2: You know, I want them to be successful in whatever they're doing.
• 27:59
  Speaker 2: I want them to grow healthily and in love and have happy lives.
• 28:02
  Speaker 2: Everything they're doing is really instilling in that.
• 28:04
  Speaker 2: And I believe that not only am I already I'm already a joyful mother of many children because these are my children when I come in on a Sunday, but I will be a joyful mother of many children of my own.
• 28:14
  Speaker 2: And I believe that and I remember declaring that in church when I didn't even have any children, and I remember that was the word that I stuck onto I'll be a joyful mother of many children.
• 28:24
  Speaker 2: And I just remember one year I heard the message that all my friends, everyone I know, will be pregnant before I will be Every single person I know.
• 28:36
  Speaker 2: And when I hear that message come through, you would think that it'd be like, oh no, every person I know, and be dead, like wallowing in the spirit.
• 28:44
  Speaker 2: No, I got excited.
• 28:45
  Speaker 2: I was like I don't know that many people.
• 28:47
  Speaker 2: I was just like.
• 28:48
  Speaker 2: I got excited because I was like right, so my mission is to make sure everyone gets pregnant, that's it.
• 28:53
  Speaker 2: So all my friends are like when you get pregnant, is it not time yet?
• 28:56
  Speaker 2: Like you need to hurry your thing up, because as soon as you get pregnant, the closer it is for me to get pregnant.
• 29:00
  Speaker 2: And it was really weird because all my friends did actually have children, all of them.
• 29:06
  Speaker 2: And then I didn't put my life on hold either, because I knew that it was going to be a journey for us.
• 29:10
  Speaker 2: We travel the world.
• 29:12
  Speaker 2: I studied, I did my degree, I did my masters, I lived in France, I lived in London.
• 29:17
  Speaker 2: I brought, I did home, we brought our dream cars.
• 29:19
  Speaker 2: We didn't put our life on hold.
• 29:21
  Speaker 2: We did everything.
• 29:21
  Speaker 2: Like I said, I had, you know, pivotal of my career.
• 29:24
  Speaker 2: There was nothing I put my life on hold at all.
• 29:27
  Speaker 2: I didn't think about holidays.
• 29:28
  Speaker 2: We traveled like all people go.
• 29:30
  Speaker 2: I'm not going to go on holiday, I'm not going to book a holiday Just in case.
• 29:33
  Speaker 2: No, I didn't do any of that.
• 29:34
  Speaker 2: I just lived and thought I can always move the holiday or change it.
• 29:38
  Speaker 2: And there was one year where I looked around and I said I've done everything, like I don't know how many people get the opportunity.
• 29:45
  Speaker 2: I'm actually feeling really emotional saying this when I stop and say I've done it all, like everything I've ever dreamed of or ever wanted.
• 29:54
  Speaker 2: I have actually ticked everything off my list.
• 29:58
  Speaker 2: There was just one thing I hadn't achieved and I said there's only one thing now that I haven't been able to do and that's have children.
• 30:06
  Speaker 2: And but I've done everything.
• 30:07
  Speaker 2: And I remember having this peace over me going like it's time and I just kept thinking I know I'm going to get pregnant now and I went and bought a beautiful, my dream car and she was revived Aldi Q5.
• 30:20
  Speaker 2: And I remember buying that car and I was quite young really, and I think about me.
• 30:25
  Speaker 1: I don't know cars very well, but I'm assuming it's a nice car.
• 30:28
  Speaker 2: Really nice car.
• 30:29
  Speaker 2: It's a four by four Aldi.
• 30:31
  Speaker 2: It's a big car.
• 30:32
  Speaker 2: It's like a big.
• 30:33
  Speaker 2: It's a really big car.
• 30:34
  Speaker 2: It's a short stopper.
• 30:36
  Speaker 2: Is it a family car?
• 30:36
  Speaker 2: It is a family car and it is definitely a short stopper.
• 30:41
  Speaker 2: I remember driving the car.
• 30:42
  Speaker 2: I felt a bit embarrassed driving the car initially because I'm not really.
• 30:45
  Speaker 2: I noticed that it was always my dream car, but I didn't.
• 30:49
  Speaker 2: Actually, I dreamt of having it but not actually driving it, which is a really weird thing to say.
• 30:53
  Speaker 2: But I got really embarrassed to driving it because it does turn heads.
• 30:57
  Speaker 2: So when I actually was in it I was feeling really embarrassed and dead self conscious that people are looking at me.
• 31:04
  Speaker 2: But I remember people stopping me and going why have you got such a big car?
• 31:06
  Speaker 2: Well, these are Christian friends that I know and I was like, because this time next year I'm going to have these, are going to start getting filled with my children.
• 31:13
  Speaker 2: And one of them goes your faith is so big Like I've never had anyone that's just so faith driven.
• 31:20
  Speaker 2: I said, yeah, this is my time.
• 31:21
  Speaker 2: Now.
• 31:21
  Speaker 2: This time next year my first child will be born.
• 31:25
  Speaker 2: And, really interesting, I then got a letter in the traffic to say that they've opened up spots for IVF because with the reason why we hadn't tried it before is because of where we lived, there was no funding in this area.
• 31:36
  Speaker 2: And I said that was funding.
• 31:39
  Speaker 2: And I remember saying, right, we're going to go for it.
• 31:41
  Speaker 2: And I've trusted God.
• 31:43
  Speaker 2: I felt God saying it was because it's in a word, like a story where people don't believe that God can tell you to go for IVF is another complete story and I believe it's completely untrue because in the Bible it says if God builds the house, you lay in vain.
• 31:55
  Speaker 2: That means if he doesn't bless it, you won't have it, and if you trust in God for it, you have it Anyway.
• 32:00
  Speaker 2: So I remember going.
• 32:01
  Speaker 2: This is what God's telling me.
• 32:02
  Speaker 2: I've really believed that he had said I can go for IVF.
• 32:05
  Speaker 2: We went for IVF and it was first time, yeah, and they even said that they got eight eggs, and the eight eggs they were all great, eight plus grade, really good eggs.
• 32:17
  Speaker 2: I think all together got 22 eggs, but not all of them able to get to the blastocyst where they could freeze them.
• 32:22
  Speaker 2: And Eliana came along and I was able to put her into my dream car in our dream home, in our dream location, but you know it's a hard bar.
• 32:32
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it was in my dream career.
• 32:35
  Speaker 2: I got promoted when I went back to work.
• 32:38
  Speaker 2: A bit of a long story, sure is.
• 32:41
  Speaker 2: Yeah, got promoted when I went back to work.
• 32:43
  Speaker 2: We travelled around the world with her.
• 32:46
  Speaker 2: We went to Thailand, malaysia, singapore, dubai, china, america, africa.
• 32:53
  Speaker 2: We travelled with her.
• 32:55
  Speaker 2: We did so much and that faith that knowing that God will answer your prayer bear in mind that this is time you know 10 years.
• 33:09
  Speaker 1: So, even though it sounds like Did you know why you were infertile?
• 33:11
  Speaker 1: You were your husband.
• 33:14
  Speaker 1: Did you ever have a diagnosis?
• 33:15
  Speaker 2: They never actually gave me.
• 33:17
  Speaker 2: They just said unexplained infertility at the time.
• 33:19
  Speaker 2: That was it.
• 33:20
  Speaker 2: However, I went for a check and they said that my so basically one of the things that happens to me is I ovulate on day 20, not ovulate the other one.
• 33:32
  Speaker 2: I had a period.
• 33:33
  Speaker 2: I have a period every 24 days or 25 days, and I went to a specialist and they said that your body doesn't give yourself enough time to do.
• 33:45
  Speaker 2: Yeah, basically, your body is shooting before it even has time to implant, and she's just saying this is all theory, and what she said is that she's going to recommend that I take progesterone because she believes that is the reason why I'm getting pregnant and so when I go for and also high dose folic acid so I was taking this before the it all happened at the same time.
• 34:07
  Speaker 2: I was doing the progesterone and then when I got pregnant, you have to take the progesterone fully enough.
• 34:12
  Speaker 2: I bled with when I was pregnant, so I did actually with both of mine.
• 34:16
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I bled, and it was the progesterone that stopped the bleeding at the very beginning of the pregnancy and if it's fully enough, all my pregnancies are bled all the way for pretty much unless I take progesterone and even though progesterone has recently been disproven to support, I can, after 10 years of trying and actually using it and having a successful pregnancy successful pregnancies because of use that with all my pregnancies I would say that I think that you need to do more research on it to see that, to prove it back again, because to me it has to work for me.
• 34:47
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you have your daughter, then you've had lots of children since they were IVF.
• 34:52
  Speaker 2: No.
• 34:52
  Speaker 2: So, my son, we were going to go back for IVF.
• 34:55
  Speaker 2: We were ready the year after, 80 months afterwards, and we could go back.
• 35:00
  Speaker 2: Because you're with the round of fertility, you can use your eggs until they're gone, which is great.
• 35:06
  Speaker 2: Obviously, one wants to use eight eggs.
• 35:07
  Speaker 2: Who knows me now?
• 35:10
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm not going to say you're not too far off, are you?
• 35:14
  Speaker 2: So we wanted to go back.
• 35:15
  Speaker 2: But I was working on a major, major project and it just happened to be in London.
• 35:20
  Speaker 2: So I was travelling back and forth to Manchester in London to get this project done and I was just like I can't do the IVF because I'm not around when I need to be here to do it.
• 35:31
  Speaker 2: It's quite a stressful time.
• 35:33
  Speaker 2: So my husband was in, just happened to be in London at that particular period of time from when we were conceived and even I just remember saying it's going to be out of gold the next month.
• 35:42
  Speaker 2: And again I got the message that this is the month you're going to conceive and I was like, well, if I'm supposed to IVF and I can't physically do it, then I just need to make it happen, naturally, if this is meant to be the month it's supposed to happen.
• 35:53
  Speaker 2: So I remember having this conversation with God.
• 35:55
  Speaker 2: Yeah, he was like this is when people skip pregnant, and that was when I forgot pregnant without IVF.
• 36:00
  Speaker 2: I was amazing I was and I bled, in the sense that I still had a period because I had to take a progression.
• 36:08
  Speaker 2: I didn't know I was pregnant at all and I had heartburn and I've got any other symptoms, and it was only the heartburn that made me think I should.
• 36:15
  Speaker 2: I just check and I did, and it was positive.
• 36:17
  Speaker 2: And then I got pregnant with twins, which I just told you a story of which was that I knew it was time for me to leave.
• 36:25
  Speaker 2: I don't have everything I needed to do in life and then there we go, starting a whole new career in effect.
• 36:34
  Speaker 2: Really isn't it Setting up your own business, so that, basically, when all the others have all been completely natural, including twins, and I do feel completely blessed, I feel more blessed that I don't live my life with any regrets.
• 36:48
  Speaker 2: I don't live with, oh, I didn't get time to study.
• 36:51
  Speaker 2: You know, I listen to a lot of women when they do have kids and the things that they say when they're having kids, and then probably you won't have experienced this because you waited and was it, you know, with your IVF as well.
• 37:02
  Speaker 2: But a lot of I hear a lot of I didn't get a chance to study, or I didn't get a chance to buy a house before I had kids, or I didn't get a chance to get married in some cases, or I didn't get a chance to do I don't know what.
• 37:13
  Speaker 2: There's a lot of regret, a lot of regret.
• 37:14
  Speaker 2: I didn't get a chance to travel.
• 37:15
  Speaker 2: I really wanted to travel more before my kids came.
• 37:18
  Speaker 2: I really wanted to do like there's this list of things that people seem to want to do or achieve before they have children.
• 37:26
  Speaker 1: I wonder if you feel like if this was the next video being an IVF as well, because I get a lot of women like you do and a lot of it's the regret that all my life sort of over.
• 37:37
  Speaker 1: Now I'm living through my kids, whereas I felt before.
• 37:41
  Speaker 1: I think you dealt with it a lot better, probably because of your face, but I felt my life felt like it was over.
• 37:46
  Speaker 1: Before I had kids.
• 37:47
  Speaker 1: I felt so out of I suppose you know all my friends were doing.
• 37:52
  Speaker 1: They were having children, they had that commonality and I felt really out of it and since having children I felt like I got my life back.
• 38:00
  Speaker 1: I don't know if that's something that resonates with you?
• 38:03
  Speaker 2: No, I don't think it does, only because and I think there's two reasons One, because I really feel that what we do as women is we put ourselves as motherhooders, defining who we are, and motherhood is just an element of who we are.
• 38:18
  Speaker 2: It's not who we are and this is probably with my coaching head on now probably in that we have to know who we are, like Samantha is who and it's one element is that I'm a mother.
• 38:29
  Speaker 2: It isn't everything about me, doesn't it?
• 38:32
  Speaker 2: And tell everything.
• 38:33
  Speaker 2: You know my passions and my desires and my wants and my needs.
• 38:36
  Speaker 2: That's not who I am, and I think that's one of the reasons.
• 38:40
  Speaker 2: But the other reason is that I actually brought up.
• 38:43
  Speaker 2: One of the things I didn't say is I do have seven children, not six, and one of the things is that I actually brought my nephew from when he was two years old and became his carer.
• 38:52
  Speaker 2: He's 21 now.
• 38:54
  Speaker 2: I did that alongside my home.
• 38:55
  Speaker 2: So I had, I was his legal carer, you know, through courts and everything, and it meant that I did not miss out on stuff.
• 39:03
  Speaker 2: So when there was parties, my friends were having kids parties, one year parties, two year parties and all those different things.
• 39:08
  Speaker 2: I had a child.
• 39:10
  Speaker 2: Do you think that makes sense?
• 39:12
  Speaker 2: I always had a child to take.
• 39:14
  Speaker 2: I always was at these events with a child, which was my nephew Kelvin, and so I never felt I could understand if I felt I was missing out.
• 39:23
  Speaker 2: I never felt like I was actually missing out on that.
• 39:27
  Speaker 2: I felt quite privileged because I could do that.
• 39:29
  Speaker 2: I'm still be free to go party because I was in my twenties and enjoy life because I'm still young and still be a part of this kind of motherhood world in a sense, without being a natural mother.
• 39:42
  Speaker 2: So I feel like, because there was an element of having to bring a child up that was the kind of difference that I had and that other mothers probably didn't.
• 39:53
  Speaker 2: I feel like since I feel like I'm missing out a little bit and because my friends are older and their kids are older, so my, even though I was older, he's like he's now had his own child and he's moved out now into his own place and their kids are moving out and they're like, oh, we're gonna go on holidays now we're gonna, yeah, they've got their freedom back, like, and the freedom.
• 40:18
  Speaker 2: So I think the only thing I feel like it's different now is.
• 40:20
  Speaker 2: I did a lot, so I've experienced a lot in terms of going on holiday with just me and my husband, and I know it's amazing.
• 40:26
  Speaker 2: I've gone on holidays with my kids and I know it's amazing, but it's different and it's very, very, very different.
• 40:33
  Speaker 2: I mean it.
• 40:34
  Speaker 2: When you go on holiday with your kids, it's about your kids really.
• 40:37
  Speaker 2: Is you actually got a baby?
• 40:38
  Speaker 2: Says I can help you?
• 40:40
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I should have a family, and a family that you can afford to take.
• 40:43
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah.
• 40:44
  Speaker 2: I have taken my mum on holidays with us before for that reason.
• 40:48
  Speaker 2: But you don't get that time if you don't have the baby, says so you miss out.
• 40:52
  Speaker 2: So that bit is missing.
• 40:54
  Speaker 2: Is that time with my spouse that's missing.
• 40:57
  Speaker 2: My husband, you're in a season at you, so no, it doesn't.
• 41:03
  Speaker 2: I look at my children.
• 41:04
  Speaker 2: I think they're gonna grow up so quick.
• 41:06
  Speaker 2: So the question you ask about regret I think I don't personally have any regret.
• 41:10
  Speaker 2: I there's nothing that I haven't done.
• 41:12
  Speaker 2: In all honesty isn't really isn't everything I've ever wanted to do.
• 41:16
  Speaker 2: I've done it.
• 41:17
  Speaker 2: I feel like I am now living for passion and purpose and it's a very different place to be.
• 41:24
  Speaker 2: You know, it's really different place to be.
• 41:26
  Speaker 2: And yes, I'd love to have more date night.
• 41:29
  Speaker 2: Yes, I'd love to have more time with friends and going out and sitting in the big and all the wine bar and just relaxing, going to more spas.
• 41:37
  Speaker 2: Yeah, love all that.
• 41:38
  Speaker 2: Those days will come back soon enough before I even blink an eye, and the times I have my holding my little girl's hands to school will be gone before we're in a blink of an eye.
• 41:48
  Speaker 2: I really just want to embrace that time.
• 41:51
  Speaker 2: And it's hard when it's hard, isn't it?
• 41:55
  Speaker 2: It's hard when you've got a business.
• 41:57
  Speaker 2: Yeah, there's a lot of push and pull, yeah, there's a lot and there is a lot.
• 42:02
  Speaker 2: And there's no way even me sitting here as a coach will tell you that you have constantly having to juggle and to change and to adapt the ways that you think and the way that you're doing stuff to make it work, because sometimes it just doesn't like six week holiday, for example, what do you do?
• 42:18
  Speaker 2: What is also doing the six week?
• 42:20
  Speaker 1: holidays?
• 42:20
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I think any working pair well, any, you know, any working pair will relate to that, whether you're business or not.
• 42:26
  Speaker 1: Finally, I just want to, because I've just gone through this with my frozen embryos.
• 42:30
  Speaker 1: Well, we've donated and decided that you obviously had a lot left over as well?
• 42:35
  Speaker 1: What have you decided to do with your frozen embryos?
• 42:39
  Speaker 2: Oh, that's amazing.
• 42:40
  Speaker 2: So well done for taking that step to donate them out.
• 42:44
  Speaker 1: I'll be honest, I've sat on it for months.
• 42:46
  Speaker 1: Wow, it was.
• 42:49
  Speaker 1: And you only wanted to add yeah, hats off to you with six back, you know, after two, and then I think it's like launch the business.
• 42:57
  Speaker 1: It was COVID, I launched the business, you know.
• 43:00
  Speaker 1: And then they start growing up and it starts does get a bit easier, you know.
• 43:03
  Speaker 1: They start putting training and they're not in the push chairs anymore.
• 43:06
  Speaker 1: I don't think I want to go back to that baby stage.
• 43:09
  Speaker 1: But then it's like, what do I do?
• 43:10
  Speaker 1: Especially because my eldest she'd come from a frozen embryo, I knew.
• 43:14
  Speaker 1: You know it's always like oh, what if they'd not picked her out the freezer?
• 43:17
  Speaker 1: So I don't know where you are at with your frozen embryos and oh man, it's really such a difficult decision.
• 43:26
  Speaker 2: I do think it was your children.
• 43:27
  Speaker 2: I think I feel like my children, like remember, the finger said, I'm always a joy from over many children.
• 43:33
  Speaker 2: So for me, one of the things that I felt is that I don't want to make that decision yet.
• 43:40
  Speaker 2: I felt like it's my children to grow up and for me to be so old that I'm like I'm not having any more kids.
• 43:46
  Speaker 2: I am too old.
• 43:48
  Speaker 2: So one of the things I think I'm going to do is continue to pay.
• 43:51
  Speaker 2: You have to pay for the freezer story.
• 43:53
  Speaker 2: It's quite expensive.
• 43:53
  Speaker 1: That was, that was a big.
• 43:54
  Speaker 1: Thing.
• 43:58
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's not cheap.
• 43:59
  Speaker 2: We were semi-private anyway, so there's, it just seems to be a lot cheaper than NHS, is like a thousand pound a year or something.
• 44:06
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's how much it was.
• 44:07
  Speaker 2: Yeah, as is semi-private, so I don't know why, but it doesn't cost that much for us.
• 44:12
  Speaker 2: It's like a hundred and two hundred pound a year.
• 44:14
  Speaker 2: Okay, so you can just buy it.
• 44:17
  Speaker 2: It's not a hard decision to say we're going to keep them in the freezer for now, unless those that price goes significantly higher.
• 44:24
  Speaker 2: But one of the things that we have decided is we don't know what the future holds.
• 44:29
  Speaker 2: We don't know what the future holds of our own children, and I always felt like because it took so long for me and all these conspiracy theories saying that they're putting all sorts of stuff in our water.
• 44:42
  Speaker 2: Not that I listen to that.
• 44:44
  Speaker 2: I want there always to be an option for my own children, and if I was going to do anything, I'd probably donate them to another mother who, like myself, couldn't have children.
• 44:57
  Speaker 2: So the only way that I would do that is my own children had to have grown up.
• 45:02
  Speaker 2: I couldn't be able.
• 45:03
  Speaker 2: I was too old to have my own and my kids didn't need themselves.
• 45:06
  Speaker 2: So if my kids couldn't or didn't, something went wrong or something God forbid that ever happened I would give them the choice first, and then I, because that's their brothers and sisters make them part of that decision, and then I would then don't give them to other women to have parted from this world.
• 45:26
  Speaker 2: You have that experience I never had.
• 45:27
  Speaker 2: Oh, I had, but you know they're never going to get that over another opportunity and this is their only way.
• 45:33
  Speaker 2: I'd love to be able to do that and just yeah, but either way, even just research, because that's important as well, we all have to.
• 45:41
  Speaker 2: I think it's.
• 45:42
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's a decision.
• 45:43
  Speaker 2: You know it's hard, isn't it?
• 45:45
  Speaker 2: It's so difficult.
• 45:47
  Speaker 1: The top one when you start.
• 45:48
  Speaker 1: You don't think you're going to get to this point, do you?
• 45:50
  Speaker 2: and so you don't really give it much thought do you and some people never do so.
• 45:55
  Speaker 2: I'm very, very grateful.
• 45:57
  Speaker 2: But I do know that I will have to make.
• 45:59
  Speaker 2: But I won't make it now.
• 46:00
  Speaker 2: I don't think I'll make it in the next 20 years.
• 46:03
  Speaker 1: Thank you so much, samantha.
• 46:05
  Speaker 1: I've loved our conversation, as always.
• 46:07
  Speaker 1: Where can people find you, connect with you, learn more about your diversity and inclusion?
• 46:12
  Speaker 1: Business?
• 46:13
  Speaker 2: So well.
• 46:14
  Speaker 2: I'm found in your group as your associate doing my career coaching, diverse inclusion coaching and I am also found on LinkedIn.
• 46:24
  Speaker 2: Our favorite platform is Netlase, so you can find me as Samantha LeBansu, career and business coach, and I do a lot about diverse inclusion there.
• 46:32
  Speaker 2: Facebook, I have a group called Diversite Inclusion Unlocked, so if you put diverse inclusion lot, I'm in that space, you can come and join me.
• 46:41
  Speaker 2: Is it for individuals or for business?
• 46:43
  Speaker 2: Anyone can join.
• 46:45
  Speaker 2: So I have individuals, hr professionals, leaders anyone can absolutely join if they want to learn about diverse inclusion, and I will be like I go live every week, apart from school holidays.
• 46:56
  Speaker 2: I can't do it, just can't.
• 46:59
  Speaker 1: I'm like just not school holidays.
• 47:02
  Speaker 2: And I share lots of nuggets that I don't share publicly.
• 47:04
  Speaker 2: I usually just share in that private safe space and I'm on Instagram doing real.
• 47:10
  Speaker 2: Sometimes you'll see more of my kids on there, and I've just recently launched my Diversite Inclusion Evolve course again, so you can it's online.
• 47:19
  Speaker 2: It's an online course also.
• 47:21
  Speaker 2: You can join in person, which is on the 11th and 12th of October in Birmingham or the 17th and 18th of October in Manchester.
• 47:31
  Speaker 2: So join my course.
• 47:33
  Speaker 2: I'll definitely share all the links to all of these things with you.
• 47:37
  Speaker 1: Brilliant thank you.
• 47:38
  Speaker 1: Well, it's been such a pleasure to chat with you today.
• 47:41
  Speaker 1: Thank you so much.
• 47:42
  Speaker 2: Thank you thank you for inviting me along.
• 47:47
  Speaker 1: Thank you for listening to another episode of the Work it Like A Mon podcast.
• 47:52
  Speaker 1: If you enjoyed this episode, please rate, review and subscribe, and don't forget to share the link with a friend.
• 47:58
  Speaker 1: If you're unlinked in, please send me a connection request at Elizabeth Willett and let me know your thoughts on this week's episode.
• 48:05
  Speaker 1: You can also follow my recruitment site Investing in Women on LinkedIn, facebook and Instagram.
• 48:11
  Speaker 1: Until next time, keep on chasing your biggest dreams.