Latest / Intimate Conversations with Men about Life, Love, and Sex / Physical and Emotional Blueprints with Rodrigo Garcia Platas Part 2
Transcript
- [00:00:00] Rodrigo: One of the most amazing things that I've ever experienced is realizing not only that I'm normal, but that I'm average. Like I'm just like everyone else. It's like this spiritual journey that you go through and you go like, "I hate the Matrix. Go away. I'm, I'm, I'm getting out of the Matrix." And then you go like, "Okay, I figured out my spirituality." [00:00:20] Rodrigo: And then you go into, "Okay, I think I'm the source. I think I'm the universe." And then you go like, "Oh, no, I'm just a leaf in the wind. I'm just like everyone else." [00:00:29] Voiceover: This begins part two of Elena's conversation with Rodrigo Garcia Platas [00:00:35] Elena: Thank you for s- tuning in. Welcome back. And we have part two of this amazing conversation. [00:00:42] Elena: Rodrigo, trauma. We just talk about trauma in the first... in part one, I guess. [00:00:48] Rodrigo: We left people on a crazy cliffhanger about trauma. [00:00:50] Elena: Yes. Yes, yes. And I love it. Just, you know, just like the movie when it's in suspense. So we just talked in the, in the first episode about how trauma is created. Mm. How we as parents handle the emotions of our kids first, and also how trauma is created, you know, with the example of having this brat little sister, and we're not getting that. [00:01:14] Elena: Now, with connection to the biotypes, are a specific biotypes have a specific tendency to have a specific trauma more than others? [00:01:26] Rodrigo: Well, we have the areas that they care about the most. Like, we know that in the case of cholerics- Mm-hmm ... the, the things that hits them the most is not being able to achieve. [00:01:36] Rodrigo: Nothing is more painful for cholerics than not being able to make something specific happen. It's extremely painful to them. And it's, it's almost mind-blowing to some of us. It w- when you, when, when you have children like me, uh, you start seeing it in a crazy way. I have three kids, and my oldest kid is sanguine just like me. [00:01:55] Rodrigo: Mm. [00:01:56] Rodrigo: My whole family says like he's, he's a blonde Rodrigo. But he's identical to me. His body's identical to mine. His hands are identical to mine. The things that he loves in life, the things that he enjoys, uh, like he reminds me of me all the time. I look at him and I remember my own childhood. But my second born is a choleric. [00:02:17] Rodrigo: He's three years old, and it's mind-blowing how different they are. My oldest, my five-year-old, my sanguine, needs industrial levels of attention. [00:02:28] Elena: Oh, wow. [00:02:29] Rodrigo: But my choleric, my three-year-old, can stay on his own in a little corner trying to make something fit into a little hole. Okay. He can take a Lego piece and start looking how to fit it in, and he has done it for years. [00:02:43] Rodrigo: And he sees a machine and he wants to press every button, and he wants to understand exactly how they function. You look at my five-year-old and he presses buttons looking for lights and experience. You, you look at my choleric three-year-old, and he presses a button and looks at the screen, presses a button and looks at the screen. [00:03:01] Rodrigo: He wants to figure out exactly how things work. But I've never seen my five-year-old crying because he's frustrated because he couldn't make something happen. So where does the trauma of cholerics come from? From not being able to achieve. And I usually tell all the therapists that I have now certified all over the world, "You are going to be soon." [00:03:20] Elena: Yes. [00:03:21] Rodrigo: I will. But I always tell them, "When you have a depressed choleric in therapy with you, in sessions with you, the first thing that they need is a win." They need to feel like they affected the world. Mm. They, like, give them a tool that transforms their relationship with their daughter, and then you'll be able to clean the whole trauma. [00:03:38] Rodrigo: They'll, they'll trust you forever. But give them something to get out of that mild depression by achieving something. Once they achieve something emotional, they're gonna surrender to the program. They're gonna go like, "Yes, like, I wanna fix everything." But everything will always have to do with not being proficient enough, not being capable enough to make something happen. [00:03:58] Rodrigo: When it comes to sanguines, because they're informal and they care about people way more, sanguines, which tend to have the promoting personality, the influencing personality, which is informal and dominant- [00:04:09] Elena: Mm-hmm ... [00:04:09] Rodrigo: they go into trauma. And my dear sanguine sister, correct me if I'm wrong. They go into trauma given how they're seen in relationships- [00:04:18] Elena: Mm-hmm [00:04:18] Rodrigo: given the type of attention that they received growing up, while trying to understand and adapt why people see me the way they see me, and who do I need to be so that people like me, so that people wanna be with me. We don't really care about the achievements. We care about the attention that those achievements give us. [00:04:35] Elena: So would that create something like, I wasn't wanted, I wasn't seen, I wasn't important, all of those things about- [00:04:43] Rodrigo: What's the number one trauma that we find in sanguines? [00:04:46] Elena: Um. [00:04:47] Rodrigo: Rejection. Uh, [00:04:47] Elena: Rejection. Rejection, yeah. And it's true. As a little kids, I mean, we could be overwhelmed sometimes. [00:04:55] Rodrigo: Yes. [00:04:56] Elena: We had so much energy. [00:04:57] Rodrigo: Sanguine children are extremely overwhelming. The, the, all- [00:05:00] Elena: Yes ... [00:05:01] Rodrigo: they all are. I have a five-year-old that, like, I don't understand where he gets the amount of energy that he gets. [00:05:07] Elena: Yeah. That's me [00:05:09] Rodrigo: We, we're all the same. We're all the same. [00:05:11] Elena: No. Rodrigo, I'm just thinking, like, we should, we should have a- a I was gonna say we should have, like, rooms for therapy or... [00:05:18] Elena: But no, we don't need a lot of therapy. Uh, like, complain. M- you know, not be mis- mis- Like that. Like the energy. Like, let's get together and, and, you know, say, "Oh, they don't understand us." You know? [00:05:29] Rodrigo: We haven't had the time to do it, but I've had many schools down in Latin America asking me if we can create a program, an educational program, where we have a classroom for sanguines- [00:05:38] Elena: Yeah [00:05:39] Rodrigo: a classroom for phlegmatics, a classroom for melancholics. It would be amazing. Like, at, at some point I would love to do that. [00:05:45] Elena: I'm sorry for those teachers who are gonna s- deal with the sanguines, like, "Aah, sit down." [00:05:52] Rodrigo: You would probably need another sanguine teacher going like, "I've... I understand." [00:05:55] Elena: Oh. See? You bring the problem and the solution. [00:05:59] Rodrigo: We've been doing this for a while. [00:06:01] Elena: That's what my controlling personality used to teach my, my clients. Tell them to bring you the problem, the solution. Otherwise, don't call me. [00:06:10] Rodrigo: I tell that to my children. "Don't bring me problems. Bring me solutions." [00:06:13] Elena: There you go. [00:06:14] Rodrigo: At the same time, just to give people a little bit of extra information about sanguines, we're the wide and hairy ones. [00:06:20] Elena: Mm-hmm. [00:06:20] Rodrigo: We're... Our shoulders are the exact same size as our hips. We tend to have big thighs, big arms. It doesn't matter if we're bigger because we eat a lot or bigger because we work out. We're just big. Big. And we're that biology that when we start gaining weight, people start asking you if you're working out. [00:06:38] Elena: Mm-hmm. [00:06:38] Rodrigo: Because we gain weight in the exact same areas where we build muscle. [00:06:43] Elena: So where the fat goes? [00:06:45] Elena: In the case of [00:06:46] Rodrigo: sanguines, fat goes, and it's the only biology that has this, within the muscle. We're the only biology that gathers a lot of fat within the muscle. That's why we always look, like, strong but a little bit overweight. [00:07:00] Elena: So it's like a, like a boxy or bulky person, right, we'll say? [00:07:04] Rodrigo: We usually describe them as a box because- Mm-hmm ... our jaw is the same size as our forehead. Yeah. Our hands are perfect squares with the thumb coming out of the- The little hand ... of the base of the palm. Yes. We have shorter arms, shorter legs, longer torsos. [00:07:19] Rodrigo: But you can't really tell about the long torso on sanguines because we're so wide, so we look proportionate. And we have huge heads. We're the biology with the biggest head. [00:07:27] Elena: Little bit of shoulder after the head, right? [00:07:29] Rodrigo: Yeah. [00:07:31] Elena: Without comparing to anybody else, in our own body, if somebody's asking, "What is a short... [00:07:36] Elena: How do I know if I have a short arm?" Where is the elbow supposed to land in order to, to figure yourself o- out? [00:07:44] Rodrigo: We have two measurements, uh, for this to, to pay attention on people. The first one is when you drop your arms, where your elbow hits. And where you see phlegmatics and cholerics, which are the biologies with longer l- longer limbs- [00:07:57] Elena: Mm-hmm [00:07:58] Rodrigo: you usually see that when they're standing in a relaxed position and their arms are just down, their elbow is extremely close, if not almost at the exact same level as their hip bone. And when you see melancholics and sanguines, which are the other axis that have shorter arms, usually what you see is that our elbow hits exactly where our ribcage ends. [00:08:19] Elena: Yeah. [00:08:19] Rodrigo: Where your last floating rib is, that's exactly where your elbow is. Yeah, just like me. [00:08:24] Elena: My arm is right below my, uh, my breast, so which is the ribcage- Yes ... right? [00:08:29] Rodrigo: Exactly. And the other measurement that we have is the hand. Because when you see melancholics and sanguines standing up, usually what you see is that the knuckles are exactly where the legs end and the, and the torso begins. [00:08:40] Rodrigo: We call that el tiro in Spanish. [00:08:43] Elena: Mm-hmm. [00:08:43] Rodrigo: It's exactly where your legs meet and your torso begins. [00:08:46] Elena: The crotch. [00:08:47] Rodrigo: What you see is... The crotch, yes. And what you see is literally are our knuckles, uh, being exactly at the level of, of our crotch, and only our fingers stick out. [00:08:59] Elena: Mm-hmm. [00:08:59] Rodrigo: But when you see cholerics and phlegmatics, what you usually see, and remember these are all tendencies, but what we usually see is that the whole hand, which is a lot, a lot of difference, the whole hand, uh, goes all the way across, uh, across the torso, and what you see hitting the crotch is the wrist. The wrist. And the whole hand is beyond the torso. That's what we usually call long arms and short torso. [00:09:26] Elena: And you mentioned that, uh, some specific cultures could be a little variation depending on the specific culture. Like if, let's say if they do a lot of muscle, for instance, the ones that don't build muscle or etc., Right? [00:09:39] Rodrigo: Well, the tendencies that we have, and you'll see this in the certification because we'll get to that module eventually- [00:09:45] Elena: Mm-hmm ... [00:09:45] Rodrigo: is that we have certain tendencies like, for example, at some point we're gonna have to admit that I don't know if I should call them African Americans because I'm not only talking about Americans, I'm talking about Black people all over the world. [00:09:57] Elena: Well, yeah, people with darker skin. [00:09:59] Rodrigo: Please don't get offended. We're just trying to define this. And I always say this in sports psychology. At some point we're gonna have to admit that physically Black people are the superior race. [00:10:10] Elena: We all have at least, uh, 2%, right? [00:10:12] Rodrigo: Yes. But the very interesting thing about it is- You can see people from Africa that are Black. [00:10:19] Rodrigo: You can see that melancholics that are not supposed to create a lot of muscle, they can get wide. They can get big. In the same way, we see for example, in the Asian category, with a lot of Asian people, what you can see is that they have a tendency to l- longer arms, just like Latin Americans. Brown people have a tendency to longer arms, too. [00:10:40] Rodrigo: This is the reason why if you see someone from India and you see someone from Mexico, if they don't speak, you might think that they're relatives- That's true ... like they're from the same family. [00:10:50] Elena: Yeah, it's true, especially I, I... There's a specific culture, P- uh, Punjabi. I have a lot of few friends from Vancouver actually. [00:10:57] Elena: And I remember meeting this girl and say she was with an Indian, a gentleman and not only Indian, Sikh, and it was back- [00:11:06] Rodrigo: Mm-hmm ... [00:11:06] Elena: back close to 9/11. [00:11:08] Rodrigo: Muslim, [00:11:08] Elena: yeah. And actually, I wanna tell this story very brief because it's not my, it's not my show today. Uh, I was there because she was celebrating her one year for her daughter. [00:11:19] Elena: When I went to the party, I decided to wear an Indian outfit and honor- Mm ... the culture. I love doing that when I go to, into different cultures. And I was at the party, and everybody heard about me somehow. So two of her nieces came- [00:11:32] Rodrigo: Because you're a sanguine. [00:11:34] Elena: Because, because I'm sanguine. Yes. This is what happened. [00:11:37] Elena: Uh, they- Yeah ... um, I created an, an, uh, my own language with a grandmother who didn't speak English or Spanish, but we understood each other. So this is why I became famous. And they, uh, the word was she loved me. So the, the nieces come to me looking very Latinas, right? Mm-hmm. And I didn't know. And this is what they say. [00:11:57] Elena: They say, "Oh, are you my, my aunt's friend?" "Yes, the one who comes from San Diego." And they said, "Oh, when we saw you, we thought you came from India." [00:12:07] Rodrigo: Yeah. [00:12:07] Elena: So I look more Indian than they. Yeah. I mean, how... This is crazy. And I, that's what I thought. So the Indians thought that I was Indian, like- [00:12:16] Rodrigo: I can give you an extra step to that story. [00:12:19] Elena: Mm-hmm. [00:12:20] Rodrigo: I've heard comedians making fun of this, but this is a historical dramatic problem. [00:12:24] Elena: Mm-hmm. [00:12:24] Rodrigo: We keep calling natives from Latin America Indians. [00:12:29] Elena: Yep [00:12:29] Rodrigo: They're not from India. No. Why do we call them Indians? Because when the Europeans arrived and they looked at people, there was this cultural confusion. [00:12:39] Elena: Mm-hmm. [00:12:39] Rodrigo: And a lot of people thought that they had reached India. [00:12:41] Elena: Mm-hmm. [00:12:42] Rodrigo: Because people looked the same and acted the same. [00:12:45] Elena: Mm-hmm. [00:12:45] Rodrigo: And if you look, the typical weather where phlegmatics live is between the tropics. [00:12:49] Elena: Mm-hmm. [00:12:50] Rodrigo: The- their, their biology that's perfectly built for tropical weather, for living in the jungle, for- [00:12:55] Elena: Mm-hmm [00:12:55] Rodrigo: living in the heat and high humidity, et cetera, et cetera. [00:12:59] Elena: Mm-hmm. [00:12:59] Rodrigo: And if you look at not only physical features, but also the types of disease that we get, but also the family structures that we have, but also the type of relationship that we have with religion, you're gonna realize that Latin Americans, North Africans, and South Asians are pretty much identical. [00:13:16] Rodrigo: And it's obvious that they started calling them Indians because we're literally the same. I've been to India. I've walked around small towns in India. If you remove the letters from the signs, then you just walk around, most Latin Americans are gonna think that they're in some city in Latin America that they don't know of. [00:13:32] Elena: This is so crazy. You just make me realize. I thought ... when I used to have dark hair, I thought I was ... I could blend in in any culture. I went to Israel, and they thought I was from Israel. I went to, um, uh, Tokyo, and they thought I was Hawaiian. Now, you- ... just, just getting, just getting why. Like, that makes sense. [00:13:52] Rodrigo: Any country that's mainly sanguine or phlegmatic- [00:13:55] Elena: Mm-hmm ... [00:13:55] Rodrigo: they're gonna treat you like local. [00:13:57] Elena: Yes. Yes. [00:13:58] Rodrigo: It happens to all of us. I always tell this story, but every time I've gone to Middle East, uh, like, like that whole region of the world- [00:14:05] Elena: Yeah ... [00:14:06] Rodrigo: because the Spanish peninsula, the Iberic Peninsula, was taken for 800 years by Arabs. [00:14:12] Elena: Mm-hmm. [00:14:12] Rodrigo: That's why, uh, um, like most people don't know this, but Spanish is like 40% Arab. [00:14:18] Elena: Mm-hmm. [00:14:18] Rodrigo: And most people- Yeah ... don't even realize it. But the interesting fact about this is I got my biology from my mom from Spain and from my dad from Northern Mexico, who's also sanguine. So, I mean, I was clearly gonna be sanguine. [00:14:30] Rodrigo: If I'm in Spain- ... which I'm Mexican and Spanish, they treat me as a local, and then they're confused when they listen to me talk because I speak so Mexican. [00:14:38] Elena: Yeah. [00:14:38] Rodrigo: But then if I'm in Turkey, they speak to me in Turkish, to the point that when I went with my parents to Turkey, we were walking around the Grand Bazaar, and as we were walking around, we had a Mexican tour guide that lives in Turkey and that takes Mexicans all over the country. [00:14:53] Rodrigo: And she was walking us all over the place, and being sanguine, I wanted to have the authentic experience, so I, I walked away from them, and I was walking maybe 10 feet, uh, ahead of them, just looking at the stores, taking in the smells, the colors, everything. And then people would walk out of the stores and start speaking to me in Turkish, and I would just listen to the tour guide and my parents cracking up behind me. [00:15:15] Rodrigo: And I would keep on walking, and then someone would walk away from another store and try and give me something and say something in Turkish, and I would say, "Mexican, Mexican, Mexican" And they would be confused, and they would walk into the store again. When we walked out of the bazaar, I talked to the, to the tour guide and I said, "What the hell just happened?" [00:15:31] Rodrigo: And she said, "I was telling your parents that you look extremely Turkish." Mm. And as we're walking around... And it's true, I w- I've watched their shows. Half of the, half of the actors look like my cousins. But the crazy thing is because my biology is extremely typical in Turkey, and because the tour guide was Mexican- Yeah [00:15:50] Rodrigo: and looked very phlegmatic and very Mexican, then everybody assumed that I was the Turkish tour guide. Yeah. And that, and that those were my clients. And they were offering me free stuff to take my clients inside the store. Also, when I went to Abu Dhabi to the Great Mosque with my wife, we were walking into the Great Mosque, and this security guy came out and took her hands apart and said, "Tourist, over there," to my wife. [00:16:14] Rodrigo: And then he started speaking in Arab to me and said like, "And you go over there. Go pray." And I looked at him and I said, "I'm Mexican." And he said, "Oh, sorry, sorry." And then he pushed me into the tourist side again. My wife said, "What happened?" And I said, "I feel honored." They thought I was a local. He wanted me to pray. [00:16:30] Rodrigo: This is perfect. But it's no matter where I walk around in the Middle East, they assume that I'm a local. [00:16:36] Elena: Yeah. [00:16:36] Rodrigo: Because I have the typical biology- I mean, almost it ... of the area. [00:16:39] Elena: Wow, what an amazing thing being able to understand ourselves. Why this happens is because a similar biology. It's not really the ethnicity. [00:16:48] Elena: At the end of the day, we come from different... Now, tell me a little bit more about the weathers- And the biologies [00:16:55] Rodrigo: Final example, and then I'll tell you about the weathers and the biologies. [00:16:58] Elena: Okay. [00:16:58] Rodrigo: My choleric son. [00:17:00] Elena: Oh, yeah, yeah. [00:17:00] Rodrigo: Do you know what they call him in my wife's family? [00:17:03] Elena: No. [00:17:04] Rodrigo: The Dutch little boy. [00:17:06] Elena: Oh, yeah. [00:17:07] Rodrigo: And in my family, they call him the Swedish little boy. [00:17:11] Elena: Okay. [00:17:12] Rodrigo: He is extremely blond. He- [00:17:14] Elena: I can imagine ... [00:17:15] Rodrigo: he has, like, color eyes, as we call them down here, and they look at him, he's choleric. And my... our families that they're not paying attention to their biotype, I promise you. My, my parents know about this. No. [00:17:27] Rodrigo: My, my in-laws know a little bit of what I do. But they look at him, and they immediately give him the nationality of where people look like that. Yeah. So he has the typical biology of Northern Europe, and they start- [00:17:41] Elena: Exactly ... [00:17:41] Rodrigo: calling him the names of those countries over there- Yeah ... which is extremely funny. [00:17:46] Rodrigo: Now When it comes to weathers, every biology adapted in a different region [00:17:51] Elena: Hold on. Before you start that, the- do you have only two kids? [00:17:55] Rodrigo: Three. [00:17:56] Elena: And what's the deal with the third one? [00:17:58] Rodrigo: I have a sanguine five-year-old boy, I have a choleric three-year-old boy, and I have a sanguine one-year-old girl. [00:18:05] Elena: Oh. [00:18:06] Rodrigo: And do you wanna see how dramatic this is? [00:18:08] Rodrigo: My phone still believes that my sanguine five-year-old and my sanguine one-year-old are the same person. My phone still groups the, the pictures of my two children like they're the exact same person because they're both sanguine and they look identical. [00:18:24] Elena: Oh, this is so cool. [00:18:27] Rodrigo: Like, all of my family says, "This is blonde Rodrigo, this is girl Rodrigo." [00:18:31] Elena: Okay. So that means that even when we have siblings that we look different, we take in a different biotypes, not just... I mean, from the same parents of course. And even from different parents we can take from different biotypes from even- Yeah ... from the mom or... And that will give us a little more of lookalike kind of thing. [00:18:51] Rodrigo: Yeah. And it makes total sense because both in my family there's a lot of sanguines and cholerics, and in my wife's family there's a lot of sanguines and cholerics. We had three kids, two sanguine, one choleric. [00:19:02] Elena: Mm-hmm. [00:19:03] Rodrigo: I mean, I wanna say something very controversial. [00:19:05] Elena: Okay, go for it. [00:19:06] Rodrigo: At some point we tried to do an algorithm to be able to predict your children's biology. [00:19:12] Elena: Okay. [00:19:12] Rodrigo: Because we have it for eyes. Like, there's, there's sites that you can go into and say, "I have brown eyes. My wife has green eyes. My parents have these eyes. My in-laws have these eyes. What are the percentages statistically of what- Yeah, of course ... my child is gonna look like?" So we tried to do the exact same thing with biology, and we had thousands of cases documented that we presented to try and do the algorithm, and we couldn't do it. [00:19:35] Elena: Listen, everybody. [00:19:35] Rodrigo: Wanna know why? [00:19:37] Elena: I can, I can imagine it's a little- [00:19:39] Rodrigo: The people we were doing the test with called us and said, "Around 30% of your sample is not their father's kid." [00:19:48] Elena: Hmm. [00:19:49] Rodrigo: So, uh, because there is no way that this kid has this biology if those are their parents. And I said, "Why the parent?" And they said, "Because the kid came out of the mother. [00:19:58] Rodrigo: We, we, we assume that that's the mother." [00:20:01] Elena: Yeah. Wow. [00:20:03] Rodrigo: Yeah. [00:20:04] Elena: There's a controver- controversial, uh, conversation about infidelity and who is more and less and stuff. But I have s- multiple conversations with men where men are more punished socially by being, um, cheaters. [00:20:19] Rodrigo: Yeah. [00:20:19] Elena: And usually if, uh, if they're in a relationship, he did it, of cour- You know, the, the m- the woman is, is, uh, to be protected. [00:20:29] Elena: But if it's the woman, oh, she did it because th- he did something. [00:20:33] Rodrigo: Yeah. So Well, that's, that's the Latin American way of understanding everything. Let's blame the guy no matter what. [00:20:38] Elena: But that can happen in all over the world, I guess. [00:20:42] Rodrigo: I mean, I can, I can tell you this, and I'll be careful with how I say it. But- [00:20:45] Elena: Please. [00:20:46] Rodrigo: In my clinical practice, in my 20 years of experience with more than 130,000 people under my belt, at least what I've seen, I've seen more women that are unfaithful than men. [00:20:58] Elena: Mm-hmm. [00:20:58] Rodrigo: But, uh, what I've also seen a lot is that a lot of men brag about things that never happened. That's true. And a lot of women would never tell even their best friend what they're doing with their tennis coach. [00:21:08] Elena: That's true. We c- We're smart about it. [00:21:13] Rodrigo: Yes, you are. And not socially punished for it. [00:21:16] Elena: Definitely. It just- Maybe we can do a podcast for, uh, masculinity and femininity. Go, should I do that? [00:21:24] Rodrigo: I have a, I have a lot to say about it, too. [00:21:27] Elena: I would love to talk about it, but then we're gonna move from, from what ... Very interesting, because I would like to, love to continue talking about trauma, but yes, definitely. [00:21:37] Elena: And I know, I have seen you, um ... Well, the word would be probably arguing with the women. It's very interesting. I- [00:21:44] Rodrigo: Debating. Debating ... [00:21:46] Elena: debating. Pardon me, debating. Pardon me. You're right. I seen you as a feminist after I listen to you, and sometimes what I think is, "How many men will be feminists, that we women are taking their, their tools and using it against ourselves?" [00:22:02] Elena: There's so much that I have to say, but we definitely can- [00:22:05] Rodrigo: That's what put me on the map in Spanish, that I was willing to go debate six feminists in Guadalajara, Mexico. I remember it took me months to accept the invitation, and I gave them a lot of rules. But then I sat down with them at the beginning. [00:22:19] Rodrigo: Uh, this is, this is not on the transmission, but this whole thing, if you speak Spanish, this whole thing is on YouTube. I think in Spanish it's called Un terapeuta conservador contra seis generaciones modernas. [00:22:29] Elena: Mm. [00:22:29] Rodrigo: One conservative therapist, uh, against six modern generations. [00:22:34] Elena: Yes. [00:22:35] Rodrigo: But I told them at the beginning, "I'm not here to fight you. [00:22:38] Rodrigo: I'm not here to prove you wrong. I'm here to find the truth where we can all fit, but I will point out at many things that you believe that are not true." [00:22:46] Elena: Yeah. That was ... Uh, I mean, I was just talking about this with somebody else, about one statement that you made and how it was transformed and taken a completely different direction and, and it's like, that's not what he s- I remember saying, "That's not what he said. What are you talking about?" But [00:23:01] Rodrigo: when you start doing content online and going to debates, you, you also need to have a thick skin. I paid the price, and my skin is thicker now. Yeah. That you will be taken out of context. You will be misunderstood. Definitely. It will be used against you. Y- y- you just get to make sure that what you stand for is the mission, and not, not defending your image or, or trying to look a certain way or trying to be seen a certain way. [00:23:26] Rodrigo: We're not that important. It's ... I, I just kept working on what I do, and people see the value in what we bring to the table, and that's, that's the only thing that really matters. [00:23:34] Elena: Definitely. Rodrigo, we're done with the previous conversation. I would love to ask you more deeper, deeper questions about who you are. [00:23:42] Rodrigo: Let's go. [00:23:43] Elena: Okay. Can you take us back to a eight to 10 years old Rodrigo and tell us what was he thinking? How was he built? What was in his mind and his heart? What did he think? [00:24:00] Rodrigo: Ah. Well, our methodology's convinced that in order to understand a human being, in order to fix a human being, there's only three things that you need to know. [00:24:09] Elena: Mm-hmm. [00:24:09] Rodrigo: Their biology, their biotype- Mm-hmm, mm-hmm ... their personality, and their trauma. Mm-hmm. Once you understand those three things, everything makes sense, and you can fix pretty much anything. Now- Growing up a sanguine kid in an extremely phlegmatic country and an extremely phlegmatic city was not easy. [00:24:29] Rodrigo: Um, as I was telling you before, I was too loud, I was too tall, I was too wide, I was too hairy, my voice was too deep. I spoke when I wasn't supposed to. I gave my opinion when no one was asking. I got myself in trouble a lot. I, I said the wrong thing constantly. At some point, when I was 11, they kicked me out of school, and they told every other school in the city that I was a dangerous problem to have. [00:24:57] Elena: Oh, wow. [00:24:57] Rodrigo: And the only reason we found out was because I went to my final choice, a British school that only had 19 people in my year group. And I passed the test, and then the headmaster of the school, which is someone that I will always owe a huge debt, a debt that I've tried to pay by supporting people the way he supported me, he showed me what the other school was saying. [00:25:20] Rodrigo: He showed us the fax that they received, and it said, "Emergency fax. Rodrigo can turn a whole year group against the school. Like, you need to be very careful with this kid." And then he said, "Here it says that they made psychological tests," like the whole, the whole shebang. And I had spent a night in the hospital with an electroencephalogram, uh, looking at my brainwaves, and they would wake me up with, with sound, with screaming, with lights, with loud music to see what was happening to me. [00:25:52] Rodrigo: They had me for weeks playing little board games to see how I reacted to winning, how I reacted to losing. I was having fun, but, but at the same time, I was, I was realizing that I wasn't being invited to parties. At some point, they told other parents in school not to allow their children to be my friends because I was a problem. [00:26:11] Rodrigo: That became even more confusing when they took me to Spain to meet my family, and I realized that I was just exactly like all of them, and none of them seemed to be in trouble for acting like that. I felt very rejected, and I felt like something was clearly wrong with me. And ev-even though my parents did an amazing job in trying to make me feel a part, like a part of everything and like nothing was wrong with me, and they understood me. [00:26:34] Rodrigo: And my mom, my mom al-always told me, "I believe you. I believe you. I care about you, and I believe you." That, that was extremely helpful, but I do remember, like, around age seven or eight At 11 at night, I would go out into the lawn and wait for a spaceship to come pick me up because I was convinced that I was not from here. [00:26:59] Rodrigo: Because if I were from here, I wouldn't be so bothersome to everyone around me. So I did started feeling like I was a little bit of a curse, but it was very weird because at the same time, I really liked who I was. I had all the approval of my parents, so I didn't feel like I was wrong. It felt like I was bothersome to others, and that they would never appreciate who I was. [00:27:23] Rodrigo: And what I started building was a very aggressive personality. [00:27:29] Elena: Mm-hmm. [00:27:29] Rodrigo: The reason I became the human scanner is not only because of biotypes. It's because this, this was my defense mechanism. I realized that if I noticed what people were in pain for, if they h- tried to hurt me, because that's what my ego told me, that they were trying to hurt me- [00:27:43] Rodrigo: I'm not trying to have a working classroom . But if, if they were telling me off, I, I would touch the unhealed wound- The wound ... that I could see in them that was still bleeding, and I would put my finger in it, and I became famous for making teachers cry, and, and they would kick me out of the class constantly. [00:28:01] Rodrigo: I wasn't a bad child. I, I wasn't someone that would swear or, or do bad things to other people. I, I was just not paying attention and distracting everyone. The, the person sitting besides me never took the class. I, I w- I was distracting them every five minutes, and then teachers would interrupt me and go like, "Hey, why did I... what did I just say?" And I realized really early on that I'm highly auditive. I can't remember... I remember being seven and being at a summer camp in Texas, at a YMCA camp, and I remember that I would close my eyes, and I couldn't remember my parents' faces. [00:28:36] Elena: Hmm. [00:28:36] Rodrigo: Because I'm not visual at all. I don't pay attention to visual things. [00:28:40] Rodrigo: My wife has taught me to pay attention to textures and colors, and this goes with this, and this goes with that. Before her, I never paid attention on anything. And information comes into my brain through my ears, and it's very dramatic. I started calming down when I realized that I could imagine my parents' voices telling me anything I wanted. [00:29:01] Rodrigo: That, that was my thing. So imagine telling a kid, "Hey, what did I just say?" And I was able to repeat word by word exactly what you said, even though I was talking at the same time to the person besides me. So I started in a very disintegrated way, using the, the strengths of my biology and my intellect to defend myself in a very anxious way, and that got me into horrible trouble. [00:29:25] Rodrigo: I became unconsciously competitive, like I needed to prove a point all the freaking time, to the point that in my early 20s when I started my whole therapeutical journey in a very deep way, I called my high school friends, and I sat down with them. I invited them to a Starbucks, and I said, "I need to face this." [00:29:44] Rodrigo: So I sat down with them, and I said You were very mean to me. You all, you were all extremely competitive with me, and you were always proving that you had more, that you were better, that you could have things that I couldn't. And then most of them had, came from way richer families than me. I came from a lower middle-class family. [00:30:02] Rodrigo: Um, it, it was crazy that, yeah, we had a car, but my friends had helicopters. So I felt this need to prove myself constantly. Mm. And I told them that they were very mean to me, and it was so revealing when they all looked at me at the same time and they said, "Rodrigo, we're very confused." And I said, "Why?" And they told me, "Because you're describing you. You're not describing us." We weren't competing with you. You were competing with us all the time. You were proving to our parents that we- you were a better child than us. [00:30:35] Elena: Hmm. [00:30:35] Rodrigo: You were proving to our girlfriends that you were a better- [00:30:37] Elena: Wow ... [00:30:38] Rodrigo: match for them than us. You were proving to us that whatever we had, you were better. [00:30:42] Rodrigo: Whatever we could do, you were smarter. Whatever we could create, you were stronger. And they told me, "We loved you, but it was very hard to have you as a friend." And I just ended up crying my eyes out. [00:30:54] Elena: This is very beautiful, Rodrigo. I can imagine how many men and women don't see their own actions and accuse others specifically on the actions that they actually are judged by others. [00:31:09] Rodrigo: I'm a very expensive therapist, and at the same time, I'm booked all the way to January. I'm usually booked, like, six months in advance. Because I have this huge backlog, my team sat down with me at some point and they said, "We need to create a product for people that will never pay for an hour with you, that, like, don't want to or don't have the money to or the time to, to take their whole human growth process seriously, their whole therapeutic process seriously. [00:31:33] Rodrigo: Can you build something that we can give people so that they can start their journey even, even if they don't have the time or the money?" And we created Instantes Autitivos in Spanish, that then became Decode in English, that we have. Okay. If you go into RGP Development on Instagram, you can see it. And it's six sessions of prerecorded therapy with, with workbooks, with exercises, and one of the first exercises is go sit in front of the people that you love and ask them who you really are. [00:32:01] Elena: I think I just bought that, uh, and I was looking at... I might have buy it by accident or not, because I tried to find it. You probably added it into one of your purchases. [00:32:10] Elena: And because, see, I thought I did or not, and I didn't see it, and I'm like, "Okay, I think it was an accident." And then it was there a f- a few days later or something like that. [00:32:19] Elena: I was listening to the Spanish, um, three-hour podcast as I got more and more anxious. [00:32:25] Rodrigo: I have a few of those. But yeah, like, learning how it feels to be with you is probably the first step in any therapeutical process. Because here's the truth: you cannot trust yourself. You cannot trust your interpretation. You cannot trust your own vision. [00:32:43] Elena: So the world has a better understanding of who you are than whatever is in your own mind, I guess? [00:32:49] Rodrigo: The world has the only understanding of who you really are beyond your trauma. Because when you die, all of your trauma and your justifications will go away, and the only thing that will be left behind is the experience that you created in others. [00:33:03] Rodrigo: You're nothing but the experience that you create in others. [00:33:07] Elena: Rodrigo, let me know if you're not ready for this other comment, but if I have a trauma that serve me and make me a successful woman or successful man- [00:33:16] Rodrigo: Like most successful people, yes ... [00:33:17] Elena: yes, why would I wanna get rid of this trauma? [00:33:21] Rodrigo: Or the exact reason you looked for me. [00:33:27] Rodrigo: Because at least 70, 80% of my patients today are people that created functional trauma. Let's put it like this so that it makes sense. [00:33:37] Elena: Yeah. [00:33:37] Rodrigo: Because I felt rejected- [00:33:39] Elena: Mm-hmm ... [00:33:39] Rodrigo: I became extremely good at dismantling people. [00:33:42] Elena: Mm-hmm. [00:33:43] Rodrigo: Dismantling people- [00:33:44] Elena: Mm-hmm ... [00:33:45] Rodrigo: had me being one of the best transformational coaches in the world. [00:33:48] Elena: Mm-hmm. [00:33:48] Rodrigo: Being the most expensive one, the one that had work all year long. If I wanted to had... to have a workshop every weekend, I could have for years and years and years. [00:33:57] Elena: Mm-hmm. [00:33:58] Rodrigo: But what was making me amazing at that was a part of me that felt hurt growing up, and that became amazing at turning everything around towards the person looking at me. [00:34:09] Rodrigo: So someone would stand up in one of my workshops and say, "In my experience, you're being extremely arrogant." And I would take that and turn it around and show them that it has to do with them and their interpretation and their life. And I, and I wouldn't do it to destroy them, I would do it to help them. [00:34:26] Rodrigo: But do you have any idea how it feels trying to relate to someone that can take anything you tell them and turn it around on you with accuracy and precision and prove a point about what's wrong with you and why you're perceiving me that way? [00:34:39] Elena: A little bit. I used to be like that. [00:34:42] Rodrigo: Yeah, I know. That made me the best coach and the most horrible human being to try and be in a relationship with. [00:34:49] Rodrigo: So I was convinced that I was gonna die alone. Yeah. That I had- [00:34:52] Elena: The worst, the worst relationships, yeah. [00:34:53] Rodrigo: Exactly. I had my followers and people that admired me- [00:34:56] Elena: Mm-hmm ... [00:34:56] Rodrigo: and that was it. And my friends who admired me and, and my friends who admired me and had me at a distance. And yes, I was probably... I, I still am. [00:35:05] Rodrigo: If half of my friends pass away, all their money falls to me and I'm in charge of, of the money for their children and making sure that they go to school and that they're well provided for. Because I was clearly going to be the very ethical guy that was gonna die alone. So I had to work on myself. And even though I was making a lot of money and becoming really acknowledged by what I could do with people, I was not happy with myself or my life. [00:35:30] Rodrigo: And this is what happens with everyone that created a very important tool in order to survive their trauma. And then they'll... They learn how to monetize that tool and make money off of it, and they become amazing at it. Yeah, for a couple of decades, they... they're gonna think that they're special. They're gonna think that there's something amazing about them. [00:35:49] Elena: So you have helped 130,000 people. What happens after they decide to get rid of the trauma and go through the steps? [00:35:59] Rodrigo: The tools stay. But- Here's a secret, and I don't know if I should say this openly, but here's a secret. You need to make the patient feel like they're gonna lose all of those tools. They need to be willing to lose everything in order to find who they are. [00:36:18] Rodrigo: But the truth is that when they find who they are, on the other end, they realize that they still have the toolkit. It's still there. [00:36:26] Elena: Yeah. [00:36:27] Rodrigo: But it's not the same. It doesn't feel the same. They don't use it for the same things. [00:36:32] Elena: Mm. [00:36:32] Rodrigo: And I almost had to die to learn this lesson. Yeah. You know this about me, but my spine exploded. [00:36:39] Rodrigo: I ended up in a coma. I'm legally disabled. They told my family that I was gonna die twice as I was in the coma. I was already dating my wife. She went through all of this with me. Uh, I love her so much. [00:36:51] Elena: It was a bone infection, right? I just realized how dangerous and how serious this are. It's not just like any other infection, by the way. [00:36:58] Rodrigo: No, it's crazy, especially when you have it in the spine. First, my disks blew up in four levels. They redid my spine with titanium, but the titanium and the silicon that they put in there, uh, were infected. They had three patients infected because, uh, everything came in the same package, and the package- Yeah [00:37:16] Rodrigo: was infected. So they infected the three bones in the spine of three human beings, and you're talking to the only survivor [00:37:25] Elena: Yeah [00:37:27] Rodrigo: When I walked out of that, and it took me a year and a half to walk again. I had to learn how to walk again. Wow. It was crazy. If you, if you actually Google osteomielitis infecciosa, infectious osteomyelitis I think it's called in English- [00:37:42] Elena: Mm-hmm [00:37:42] Rodrigo: it's, it's a very dramatic thing to have. Yeah. Like, to the point that they, they tell the nurses not to touch the sheet on the bed because just touching the sheet can create a spasm that starts bending us backwards and we could break our own spine. Anyways, walking out of that, I stopped training, I stopped giving workshops, I stopped sessions, I stopped working with people completely- Wow [00:38:07] Rodrigo: for two years. I had to work on myself, and I realized it, or I was gonna die. The, the, the way I was living, not, not only was it going to burn all of my relationships, but I was burning my physical body while doing it. And when I came out of it, the first workshop that I did, I did it at a friend's company. [00:38:27] Rodrigo: I loved her. She passed away a couple of years ago. But I was at her company, and she saw me do the workshop, and she looked at me and she said, "You're not the same person. What changed in you?" And I looked at her and I said, "I don't know what changed, but I can tell you one thing. I've never done a five-day workshop without having to defend myself." [00:38:50] Rodrigo: Mm. " [00:38:50] Rodrigo: I've never done a five-day workshop where someone doesn't blow up against me and starts, starts calling me Hitler, and blah blah blah." [00:38:58] Elena: Mm-hmm. [00:38:59] Rodrigo: When I'm very feminine. But I realized that I needed way less effort to achieve way more. And a year later she asked me again, "Do you know the answer now? What changed?" [00:39:11] Rodrigo: And I said, "Yeah. I got out of my own way." [00:39:14] Elena: That's beautiful. [00:39:16] Rodrigo: It's fascinating that I already had most of the knowledge that I have right now. I already had most of the experience that I, that I have right now. [00:39:23] Elena: Mm-hmm. [00:39:24] Rodrigo: But I didn't have the numbers that I have right now. I couldn't help the people that I help today. [00:39:28] Rodrigo: I, I, I couldn't solve the problems that I solve every day today. And it's... I'm not that important. I got out of my own way. I'm just a... I, I like saying it like this. I'm nothing but a small gear in a huge machinery, and I fully understand it now, but I'm an amazing small gear, and I'm really good at what I do. [00:39:49] Rodrigo: And that doesn't make me different or special. It just makes me more me. [00:39:54] Elena: We, we like more of you, Rodrigo. [00:39:57] Rodrigo: Thank you. For the individuals listening or watching, there's two key components here. Number one, you're successful, you create amazing things, but there's something that still doesn't feel that you're touching, something that you're still missing. [00:40:17] Rodrigo: And the other one is when you feel, no matter what you're doing, successful or not, when you feel like the world is against you, even when you think that you're doing what you love Those are two, I guess, key components of something is going on. Something needs to change- Mm-hmm ... regardless how old you are. [00:40:35] Rodrigo: And we definitely know that some individuals die without experiencing the change. [00:40:43] Rodrigo: It's painful to say, but I think that most individuals die without even realizing how they built themselves and what was happening. [00:40:52] Elena: How about the, the relationship with your father? Was there any challenge there? [00:40:57] Rodrigo: Well, I, I always had an amazing relationship with him, but it took me years to realize that I needed certain things. [00:41:04] Rodrigo: My dad is great. M- my dad is a walking encyclopedia. He knows everything. My friends would make bets to see if anyone could ask him something about anything that he didn't know. But both my mom and my dad had a huge, like, abandonment issue with their fathers. My mom came from a very typical traditional Spanish family where only men, uh, are important and women aren't. [00:41:30] Elena: Mm-hmm. [00:41:30] Rodrigo: Uh, while she had this deep need of connection with her dad. [00:41:34] Elena: Mm-hmm. [00:41:35] Rodrigo: That they call me Ro. My grandfather was called Rosendo, and they called him Ro. And on the other side, my dad didn't see his father from age 6 to age 16, in extremely crucial years, especially in the relationship with the father. [00:41:50] Elena: Yeah. [00:41:50] Rodrigo: So I have one sister. My sister is two years older than me. She's gorgeous. Like, she, she was the most beautiful baby you've ever seen, but my parents needed a boy. This is pure systemic psychology here. As soon as I was born, I was one of the ugliest babies you've ever seen in your life. [00:42:07] Elena: Really? [00:42:10] Rodrigo: My Spanish grandmother literally kidnapped me and shaved my head because she said that I didn't look like a baby- Yeah that I looked like a monkey. Sanguine babies. [00:42:20] Elena: Yeah. [00:42:21] Rodrigo: And my parents didn't care. They needed the presence of a man. And when you haven't realized that there's something broken in you and you have children, you usually end up unconsciously using your children to try and cover for that. [00:42:34] Elena: Mm. [00:42:34] Rodrigo: That's why I usually tell parents, the biggest mistake that you can make is try and be the parent that you would have wanted. [00:42:40] Rodrigo: Because then your trauma is parenting, not you. [00:42:43] Elena: Mm-hmm. [00:42:43] Rodrigo: And your children doesn't need the parent that you needed. They need something different. Yeah. And you're supposed to be the parent that they need, not the parent that you would have wanted. Now, having said that, my parents started treating me very early on like I was another adult in the family. [00:42:58] Rodrigo: And by age 11, at a, at, at some point, my dad kind of looked at me and said, "I don't think I have anything else to teach you. I think you're complete. If you need me, I'm gonna be here. I'm always gonna be your dad. Uh, you can always rely on me. But He kind of gave me a little pat on the back and went like, "It's your path now." [00:43:21] Elena: You're on your own. [00:43:22] Rodrigo: And I felt extremely proud of it. Extremely proud. It felt like acknowledgement. At 31, 20 years later, crying my eyes out, I sat in front of him and I said, "I did not need that. I did not need that path. And I'm happy that I had it. I happy... I'm extremely happy of who I became, but I don't think I was honest with you with how much I needed you and how scared I was to face life." [00:43:53] Rodrigo: Today, I have a incredible relationship with my parents, but it's not born like that. Amazing relationships are things that you build- [00:44:02] Elena: Yeah ... [00:44:02] Rodrigo: not the things that you get. [00:44:04] Elena: Yeah. [00:44:04] Rodrigo: It's not the right people. It's becoming the right person for whomever you love. [00:44:09] Elena: Yeah. What has been a belief that you had that transformed completely now that you're an adult, now that you're a man, now that... at it- at this age, at this time? [00:44:21] Rodrigo: Oof. The most important one is extremely easy. I am absolutely alien. No one's like me. No one will ever understand me or, or see me and go like, "Oh, I get it." One of the most amazing things that I've ever experienced is realizing not only that I'm normal, but that I'm average. [00:44:38] Rodrigo: Like I'm just like everyone else. It's like this spiritual journey that you go through and you go like, "I hate the Matrix. Go away. I'm, I'm, I'm getting out of the Matrix." And then you go like, "Okay, I figured out my spirituality." And then you go into, "Okay, I think I'm the source. I think I'm the universe." And then you go like, "Oh, no, I'm just a leaf in the wind. [00:45:00] Rodrigo: I'm just like everyone else." A- and even money becomes something completely different. You saw me at the end of that journey very recently, and I don't think this is the absolute end, just the end of this stage. But I became the best coach in a training that no one wants to go to. So those 200 people every weekend that I was talking about, they hated me on day one. [00:45:25] Rodrigo: They hated me. No one wants to go there. If you go there, it's because your spouse told you, "If you don't go, I'm gonna divorce you," or your company sent you or your children sent you. Uh, so most people don't wanna go there. And of course, I became amazing at a workshop where I needed to show people that I wasn't that, that I wasn't broken, and that I'm here to help you, and that I actually care, and that I actually love you. [00:45:47] Rodrigo: But I'm used to rejection, so I became amazing at navigating rejection. And for the first time in my life, at 43 years old- I said, "If you want to learn my methodology, if you want to start learning why, why I can do what you see me doing with people online all the time, come here." And you're right, people came from Denmark, people, people came from all over the world. [00:46:11] Rodrigo: But then I walked on a stage for the first time in my life, for the first time in my career I don't wanna cry more, but I probably will. [00:46:20] Elena: Me too, actually. [00:46:22] Rodrigo: I stood on a stage in front of, uh, 500 people, and as soon as I, as soon as I got on that stage, 500 people got on their feet after days of traveling, many of them- Mm-hmm [00:46:35] Rodrigo: and started clapping and yelling at the same time, excited. And you saw me. I just, I just- [00:46:41] Rodrigo: Yeah ... dropped down and started crying. [00:46:44] Elena: Yeah. [00:46:44] Rodrigo: And I said, "You guys have no idea what this means to me." Yeah. Because I'm still getting used to being around people that love me after becoming the best, the best broken little child that assumes that nobody will ever understand him. [00:46:58] Elena: And nobody forced us to be there. Nobody pushed us to be there. We were there because we wanted to be there. And whatever it is that you created fully, we learn pieces, right? [00:47:11] Rodrigo: Yeah. [00:47:12] Elena: It's making a difference, Rodrigo. [00:47:14] Rodrigo: We thought it was going to be a one-off, and now we have the next event on November, and it's half of the places are already taken, and we're probably gonna do one in January. [00:47:23] Elena: When are you going to start doing this in English? [00:47:26] Rodrigo: Probably very soon. The thing is we started in English, and we still have the Instagram account that we started with, and we have more than 50,000 followers in English that are... Like, tonight I'm gonna do a Live in English, too. And they're getting used to us again, and they're starting to figure out who we are. [00:47:41] Rodrigo: But in Spanish, things exploded in crazy ways. Yeah. So I have certified coaches in English. The first three certifications that I did were in English. So I will come back eventually. [00:47:52] Elena: You know, Rodrigo, something happens. I wanna share this with you. I, I, you know, I was not gonna do this. But I was, uh, traveling over the weekend, and there was a, the Uber, uh, with a friend. [00:48:02] Elena: She's the one who called the Uber. And, uh, the man was playing salsa, so I assume or- that he was a Latin man. I, I'd actually I didn't see his face. Mm-hmm. But I asked him, "Do you like salsa?" And first he didn't respond because he thought I was talking to my friend. Mm-hmm. And then I said, "Hey, driver, do you like salsa?" [00:48:22] Elena: And he explained to me the three reasons why he likes salsa. And the way he explained it to me, I knew exactly what biotype he was. Ah. And it never happened to me before. [00:48:37] Rodrigo: You're becoming good at this. [00:48:38] Elena: Because of that, immediately, and you'll know, I look at his hand. And when I saw the hand, that was a validation. [00:48:47] Elena: Mm-hmm. And then I told my friend, who had three biotype days. And even when she says, "I think we need to take a break of that," and I convinced her why we couldn't take a break, and She asked me to give her an hour of my time to really in detail explain. Now I wanted to know more. [00:49:09] Rodrigo: Now she wanted it, yeah. [00:49:10] Elena: And, and it's, it's amazing. I'm not gonna give more details about her. But the most interesting thing, the gentleman ... I saw, I told her, "Do you see his hands?" And he says, "What's going on?" He's probably under- understand English. And then I said, "Oh, it's just something that we're learning, biotypes. You probably never heard of that." [00:49:30] Elena: And he asked me what that was, and I gave him a little bit of information. And I think this is, uh, you know, when you get this all ... You know, based on the things that I heard from you- [00:49:39] Rodrigo: Mm-hmm ... [00:49:40] Elena: this is going to happen. And he says, "That is already happening." As I get off the car, I remember having one leg out. I look, and he finally stop and look at my face. [00:49:54] Elena: That's when I saw his face, which I don't remember. It was a very brief. He says, "I have never had anybody who describes me as well." [00:50:02] Rodrigo: It's a gift. Knowing this is a gift. [00:50:05] Elena: Knowing this is a gift. We behave in a very specific way. Mm-hmm. He was very structured when he said that, and he used the word, um, something about masculinity. [00:50:15] Rodrigo: Mm. [00:50:15] Elena: There was some couple things that he said that I like- [00:50:17] Rodrigo: Was he choleric? [00:50:19] Elena: Choleric. You're excited. [00:50:21] Elena: Why would someone mention that- If you're this crying, you are choleric ... right, when masculinity is so deteriorated right now- Yeah ... by the feminine world? You know what? Somebody might not be able to see with their eyes, but they can definitely know what we're talking about. [00:50:37] Elena: Yeah. And the personalities... Again, this was not something that I saw. This is what something that I heard. I was distracted a little- [00:50:45] Rodrigo: Elena, for a year, I was on national radio on XI FM- [00:50:50] Elena: Mm-hmm ... [00:50:50] Rodrigo: many times receiving calls, just listening to people and their problems, and then in the end I would tell them, "Can I describe your body?" [00:50:57] Elena: Oh, my God. [00:50:59] Rodrigo: And 90% of the times we were right on spot. [00:51:02] Elena: I'm sure you did that. [00:51:03] Rodrigo: I would listen to someone say, "My relationships I'll- are like this, but I feel abandoned, and I feel unseen. I love him so much, but he never pays attention to the small details that I do for him." Mm-hmm. And I go, "Okay, you need to respect yourself way more. [00:51:19] Rodrigo: You need to understand how you built yourself, and please, uh, start working out and lose a little weight." How do you know? Because you're phlegmatic. You're clearly phlegmatic. You're creating the type of trouble in relationships that phlegmatics do, and they're always overweight in Mexico. [00:51:35] Elena: What do you wanna create with this, Rodrigo? What would you like to be your legacy? [00:51:40] Rodrigo: Literally what you went through in the, in the cab, in the Uber. When they ask me, and th- they've asked me this a couple of times, like, "What's your dream?" And I constantly tell them, "I really don't care if in 30 years people call it the RGP Method or remember my name. [00:52:02] Rodrigo: I just want this to be something that's talked about on the dinner table at every household. I want a Thanksgiving with a family where someone says, 'Why does your cousin cry so much?' And have someone on the table say, 'Because he's phlegmatic. He feels more than us, and that's normal. And, and he will conquer that. [00:52:23] Rodrigo: He'll learn how to be the safe, profound, emotional space, but he's phlegmatic. He feels things that you'll never feel.'" That's my dream, that this becomes part of the conversation and we stop treating people like they're broken just because we don't understand the body that they inhabit. [00:52:42] Elena: You know, um, one thing that my friend said, and I'm not an expert obviously, but, um, she said- [00:52:48] Rodrigo: You will be. [00:52:50] Elena: Thank you. She said, "Knowing this makes me understand other people more and not being as judgmental. And, and therefore being more... f- more kind to myself because I didn't realize this is, this is who I am." I always ask me, why I do this? Why I do this? [00:53:08] Rodrigo: Yeah. Why am I doing this? Yes. Uh, the... When people ask me, why should I learn this? [00:53:13] Rodrigo: I always tell them, "You don't need to, but I can tell you what it creates." I've never seen the level of freedom a- and compassion that people express when they understand biologies. [00:53:24] Elena: Absolutely. [00:53:25] Rodrigo: When you can look at someone and understand the inner experience of that human being, and then when you have the extra tool that you now have, which is looking at a melancholic. [00:53:35] Rodrigo: Just by looking at their body, I already know that they have a horrible digestive tract, that there's many things that they can't eat, that they feel profoundly misunderstood, that they don't have a clear way to express their ideas, that they need to find an outlet. But if I see him acting in a controlling way, like a choleric, I know what happened. [00:53:56] Rodrigo: I know what the trauma is. I know this has to do with dad. I, I know what we need to heal. This is, this is what makes it mind-blowing, that not only do I adapt to the biology that I have in front of me. Just by looking at your biology and then looking at your personality, I know with more than 90% accuracy what happened to you in your childhood and what you need to heal in order to experience that freedom and compassion. [00:54:19] Rodrigo: That's what's crazy. And I... And we do it every Wednesday night, both in English and Spanish. And now in Spanish, we have between 5,000 and 10,000 people on every Live just wanting to be the person that I read and that we give some tools to. [00:54:33] Elena: This is amazing. Imagine if we are able to understand the actions that we take, the ones that we don't, why we can't stretch like this person or exercise like this person- [00:54:45] Rodrigo: Yes [00:54:45] Elena: or eat like this person, or work like this person, or think like this person. Most conflict is because why you can't understand me? Because we're different. And people like that- [00:54:59] Rodrigo: At the same time, having the information to s- know things like- We all wanna be melancholic. In today's world- ... everybody wants the body of the melancholics. [00:55:10] Rodrigo: They don't gain weight. They get ripped. They have those long faces that we love in models and artists and singers. We all- We all wanna be melancholic. [00:55:18] Elena: But I love food. [00:55:20] Rodrigo: Exactly. But listen to this. Until you know the prices that are paid when you have that biology. Everybody thinks that, "Oh, they're just skinny, happy-go-lucky, and are amazing." [00:55:33] Rodrigo: No, they have an extremely profound inner life. They have basement after basement after basement in their head that no one has ever had access to. They look at themselves saying good morning and judge themselves like, "I said it wrong. Why can't I be like them? Why can't I be like Elena that just sits in front of a microphone and starts speaking? [00:55:53] Rodrigo: Why can't I break the ice with people? Why can't I blah, and if I eat this, I feel like dying for two days." And then you look at them and you go like, "You look pretty, but I know the prices that you pay." You start understanding the drawbacks and benefits of everything, and then you also start understanding how they see you and why they feel the way they feel around you. [00:56:14] Rodrigo: It's removing a protective layer that allows you to understand that no, not everything is made up. Not everything is esoteric and made up emotionally, et cetera, et cetera. No, these are the rules, and we've had them for thousands of years. I, I kept telling people in Spain, and they were mind-blown. Back in my office in Mérida, I have books from the 1700s. [00:56:38] Rodrigo: I have charts from the 1700s from the Spanish government defining the biologies of their population because they made political decisions based on the biologies of the populations and cities. This is not new. How did we forget about this? [00:56:53] Elena: How did we forget about this? [00:56:55] Rodrigo: And we're bringing it back. [00:56:57] Elena: And we're bringing it back. [00:56:58] Rodrigo: That's the dream. [00:56:59] Voiceover: And that's a wrap on today's conversation. These are the kinds of exchanges that don't happen by accident. They happen because Elena Sofia Ruiz creates the space for them. If something landed for you today, don't keep it to yourself. Share this episode with someone who's ready for a real conversation. [00:57:17] Voiceover: You'll find everything you need in the show notes. We'll see you next time on Intimate Conversations With Men.