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Can a Long Distance Village Replace the One Next Door? · Build With Becky: Smart Strategies To Grow Your Community-Driven Business

• 0:00
  This week I had a couple of my best friends in town helping with the baby and just hanging out with us.
• 0:05
  And it was the best.
• 0:06
  And of course, after I dropped them off at the airport, I've been having this like, existential thought about community today.
• 0:12
  And I figured what better to do than record myself and share it with hundreds of people?
• 0:16
  So here we go.
• 0:17
  I've been thinking about the effect that virtual community has on our everyday lives and what those long term impacts will be like.
• 0:26
  I think it's becoming more and more rare to have in person community, to really know our neighbors.
• 0:31
  And that isn't a good thing.
• 0:33
  I mean, me personally, me and my husband moved to Baltimore in 2020 when it was not a good time to like make new friends.
• 0:40
  And I'm from Maryland, but I'm not from Baltimore, so I don't really have friends here.
• 0:44
  I didn't go to college in the city.
• 0:46
  And so I had to kind of like build that up from scratch, which is really hard to do when there's a global pandemic happening.
• 0:51
  And I know I'm not alone in that.
• 0:52
  I know other people have experienced that it's hard to build in person community, to go out to make friends.
• 0:58
  And so like many other people, I turned to the Internet and I really poured into my long distance relationships and that's what my life really looks like right now.
• 1:08
  One of my friends that was here was talking about how the impact of Halloween, like people are trying to bring back Halloween and getting to know your neighbors.
• 1:16
  And I think it's like this really beautiful thing to spark some joy and magic for neighborhood kids and families.
• 1:25
  And what I have noticed in parenthood is there is a lot more local neighborhood community in parenthood.
• 1:31
  I don't think that exists in a really great way for young people that are sort of like in between family, building a family and parenthood.
• 1:38
  Or maybe they've chosen not to have kids and people, you know, and like when you're in college or when you're in school, like there's this weird middle space of trying to make friendships if you don't have that built
• 1:50
  in community feeling.
• 1:52
  So like when I started walking around my neighborhood, clearly pregnant, like I was showing, my neighbors started talking to me more because they would say, oh my gosh, congratulations, we just had our second, like, whatever, right?
• 2:01
  Like they have something to relate to me with that they can see from looking at my body, which is kind of crazy.
• 2:08
  Anyway, all this to say I am making an effort to get to know my neighbors and pouring into Local community.
• 2:13
  And of course I've been volunteering for Creative Mornings for years and I have that community.
• 2:18
  But having a few of my friends here this week was just a reminder of how important it is to have that in person village and how important neighborhood community is like having them here, helping hands on with me,
• 2:30
  with the baby, somebody to commiserate with that isn't just my husband was super nice and just something that I think shouldn't be as rare as it feels right now.
• 2:41
  It is really the women in my DMs, my long distance best friends, or even my subscribers replying to my newsletter that are helping me the most through the mental battles of postpartum.
• 2:51
  Like just today I got an email from someone that listens to my podcast and she sent me an email saying, hey, here's how I got back to work and how I took care of my little kids.
• 3:03
  Like, this is my, like things that work for me, maybe they'll work for you.
• 3:06
  It was so, so helpful.
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  I was taking notes.
• 3:08
  And it's because of that, like creating content and connecting with people online and like building digital community that I'm able to have these like meaningful conversations.
• 3:17
  So the virtual community spaces that I've poured into, even dreamers and doers, I've talked to other moms in there, other communities that I'm a part of, that has been super, super valuable for me.
• 3:27
  But right now I want to make an effort to have both, both the in person village and the virtual one.
• 3:32
  Like I think village can mean many different things and I think in all of it there is a necessary in person component.
• 3:39
  Which brings me to my point of the day.
• 3:42
  I am seeing a trend toward more intimate community experiences.
• 3:46
  Less big, grand communities, like lots of people, more intimate, localized experiences.
• 3:53
  Not just localized, not always localized in one place, but also like, you know, people from all over the map, but in a smaller group setting.
• 4:02
  So the main, the most common, like these come in lots of shapes and sizes.
• 4:06
  But a few of the most common, our mastermind type experiences, this is where there's like deep connection amongst members.
• 4:12
  They really get to know each other.
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  They're meeting up in person at least once a year and they're meeting regularly online.
• 4:18
  I'm seeing more of this, I'm seeing this at all kinds of levels of business and life and interest.
• 4:25
  I think this is where most people are focusing right now that are building virtual community that are really successful.
• 4:31
  Even the bigger communities, they're doing something about having these smaller groups inside of that, you know, broader one.
• 4:39
  They're like matching people and finding people and curating these small groups, which I think is what most larger communities need to get right at this point.
• 4:47
  And then the other thing is like dinner clubs, Dinner clubs in cities, matching people to one another.
• 4:52
  I think there's a lot of opportunities still here and we're seeing more and more of these pop up.
• 4:57
  There's a really cool example of this in Boise.
• 5:00
  It's the From Boise Dinner club.
• 5:02
  It actually started as a newsletter and then it expanded, expanded into this like amazing community experience.
• 5:07
  I'll.
• 5:07
  I'll drop a link to their website in the show notes because it's definitely a good case study to check out.
• 5:12
  And then of course there's in person retreats, which we're, we've been seeing for a long time.
• 5:16
  But it's really, really popular right now where people are launching and promoting retreats, in person retreats and experiences that are capped.
• 5:26
  Right.
• 5:26
  It's like small groups, it's five to 25 people and not larger than that.
• 5:31
  And I think that this is the kind of connection we're craving.
• 5:34
  It's not be a part of a big group or walk into a big room or be a part of a big community necessarily, but it's like that small roundtable experience, like a curated dinner with people that are going
• 5:45
  to have a deep conversation that is more than the surface area we're getting online or in like casual everyday conversation.
• 5:55
  So when you are curating community experiences right now, I want you to think about how you bring in that intimate component, that in person component, bringing people together, helping them truly connect on a deeper level in the same
• 6:08
  way you do in a village.
• 6:10
  Like, let's draw from being able to go for a walk with a neighbor and talk to them about what's going on in a deep conversation, right?
• 6:19
  Like what?
• 6:20
  How are we supporting one another?
• 6:22
  And we're in a village, we're giving back.
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  There is like a very clear principle of I show up for you and you will show up for me when I need it.
• 6:30
  And we're just there to support one another.
• 6:32
  And if we can pull those values into online community, if we can create them in these more like intimate experiences.
• 6:39
  And I think again, this can be both virtual and in person.
• 6:42
  But if we can start to really lean into that with community building, I think we're going to do a better job.
• 6:48
  So I'll leave you with my last existential question, which is like how many of these do we actually have space for in our lives when we have families and obligations, when we actually do hang out with our neighbors
• 6:59
  and that's another question I'm wrestling with.
• 7:00
  I don't have all of the answers but I would love to know your thoughts if you know you're part of any kind of communities or you have your bestie bestie group chat of long distance relationship friends which I
• 7:12
  have a couple of do.
• 7:14
  Like how many of these things do you have and how much space do you have in your life and then on top of that I'm thinking about how do I look at my phone less in front of my
• 7:21
  kid and I'm doing all of this virtual community stuff and that makes it hard because that's my way of connecting.
• 7:26
  So anyway those are my thoughts of the day.
• 7:28
  I'd love to hear what you think.
• 7:30
  DM me I if you are not connected with me online already I have my links in the show notes and I would love to hear from you.
• 7:37
  So until next time keep building.