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Transitioning to a Happier and More Authentic Life with ClaireYvonne Naisbitt · Authentic Living

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Welcome to authentic living with Roxanne, a place where we have as conversations about
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things that really matter in our lives.
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And now here's your host, Roxanne Derhodge.
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Hi, everyone.
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It's Roxanne Dorhaunch of authentic living with Roxanne.
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And today, I have a special guest, Claire Evon Ness Beth, with us.
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And, Claire was introduced to me by another colleague, and I was very privileged to be able
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to, connect with her and ask her to come on to the podcast So, Claire Vaughn, thanks so much
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for coming on today.
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Thank you.
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It's an absolute joy and pleasure to be here.
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So you gotta tell everybody where you are because I know I'm jealous, and I'm gonna ask
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you what temperature it is there because as I look outside, there's, like, a foot of snow
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right outside my my window.
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So tell everybody where you are, and then we'll kinda go a bit to why you're spending the time
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with us today?
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I am currently in Baja, California South on the west coast looking up on the specific in
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Mexico.
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And it's about 25 degrees, sunny, and warm out there.
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So it's rather divine.
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We're we're we're yearning for this up here, but trying to enjoy the weather as best as we
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can here in in Canada.
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So let me tell you a little bit about Claire Vaughn and, she got connected with me because
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there's a lot of affinities that I think we share not just in our path, professionally,
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but, you know, at the time that I wrote my book, it it took a lot of things for me to slow
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down in order to write my first book and me got me getting authentic really connected to
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myself, and, you're gonna be fascinated when you hear claire's path about where she's doing
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now.
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So a bit about her professional backgrounds.
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She's a transition pro, and she's having changed her whole life in less than 2 years,
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which is, which is a lot in a short period of time.
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She loves deep personal work, so she could serve her client's powerfully and go wherever
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they need to and want to go.
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Claravan thrives on in the land of Duwala which where she can use humor and also be serious, be
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artistic, and scientific.
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So the left and right brain all at once introverted, extroverted, yin and yang,
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celebrating and inter integrating our unique fullness.
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She has brought with her, a lot, before her coaching, a background, she was a senior leader
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in oil and gas, for over 20 years and, you know, she was responsible for leading teams to
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solve and deliver complex technical work Obviously, very fast paced, male dominated,
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demanding technical workplace, and she's always, drawn to getting the best out of the
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people and the teams that are around her, so and she works with also organizational design
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She has several certifications, the CPCC and, she also is a member of the c TCI, which is a
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team coaching international.
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And there's gonna be a lot more that you can read it in the show notes.
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So, Claire Von, thanks so much again.
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So I'm gonna just have you start where you started.
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Like, I alluded to that, you know, 10 years ago when I wrote my first book, I had gotten to the
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point where I was living this.
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I'm gonna use this this, life that really looked pretty fantastic on the outside, but
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what I was doing is I was compartmental compartmentalizing.
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I was an executive you know, at the pinnacle of my career and a young son.
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I had the home that I wanted, and I was taking the trips and doing all those things.
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And I would compensate and almost you know, kind of fill up in certain parts of my life so
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I can, you know, almost work against, the compensation against a decompensation to kind
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of make things work for me.
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Until it all fell apart, and that's when my life started to get really authentic.
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So that's a bit about me.
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So tell us about you.
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Tell us about your path and wherever you'd wanna begin to tell us, about what the journey
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has been in the last 2 years.
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Yeah.
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So 2 years ago, I was working in Oil And Gas And Corporate as a senior leader, and I was
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felt like a square peg in a round hole.
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I've been feeling like that for a a long time, and that put a lot of stress like literally
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shaving off those corners put stress and tension into my body.
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And that led to and lots of migraines and physical pain, from head to toe.
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And I wasn't happy, wasn't happy at work, wasn't really being recognized at work, didn't
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feel recognized at work, for the skills, the sensitivity, and the sensitive being, and that
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scenes or weakness.
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So it was it was a tough gig and to have done that for 20 years.
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I I was in trouble.
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Physically and and mentally, being in fight or flight for that length of time.
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Then I I was fortunate.
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I got my first coach actually about 4 years ago, and that started the journey in towards
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realizing I found something I loved doing, which is working with individuals to take steps
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towards leading authentic lives and transitioning.
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And, and so I trained while I was still in full time in my evenings, I recreated myself, used
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my recreational time to recreate myself.
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And as I started to take steps towards being more authentically me, my happiness started to
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grow.
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And I was courageous enough then to leave the oil and gas set up my own business.
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So as an entrepreneur running group retreat group coaching events online, well, face to
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face and online, and individual coaching.
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And then I realized I ran out of energy because I kind of barreled straight from corporate life
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into head long into setting up my own business with the same ferocious pace.
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And it was in, April last year, just after lockdown hit the UK because normally I'm based
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in the K and I just couldn't I had no energy left.
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So I was challenged to take a sabbatical or a sabbatical I was like, oh my god.
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I can't possibly take a sabbatical or sabbatical.
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And then I was like, okay.
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I'll take a month, and then it was like 3 months.
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So I left on my soul school in July.
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I 7 months later, I'm now getting back to working.
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So I've actually had a good chunk of time.
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I've been traveling a lot of that time.
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Despite COVID, I've been fortunate enough that I got left the country before our regulation
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said we couldn't leave.
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So I was in Croatia, Montana, Albania, and then last two and a half months in Mexico.
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To heal and to find out who I am really in tuning deeply inside.
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And I've discovered all sorts of exciting things.
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Like my creative side that I can write poems.
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I'm now a poet.
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I've written them nearly 40 poems, and we're gonna produce a book.
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So That's one of the things I've discovered.
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So, Claire Von, how did you get into oil and gas?
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Like, I mean, it's it's that's a very left brain, brain stem kind of space, right, and
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mostly, like you said, mostly male dominated.
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So I how did you end up there?
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Like, you know, was it after you went to business school and you kind of meandered and
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kind of followed the pebble and you ended up in that space, or was that a conscious choice that
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you made?
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In I ended up I I do have 2 geology degrees, so I'm actually a scientist, by backgrounds.
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And after my first geology degree, I didn't know what I wanted to do.
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And I I went traveling then, actually.
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And then I realized, like, I managed to get a job for on as a technical assistant.
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And they were like, oh, do a master's.
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So I went to Aberdeen University in Scotland in a master's in petroleum geology.
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And at that point, I absolutely knew I wanted to go into oil and gas.
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And when I put my mind to something, it happened.
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So I decided that was my career.
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And so I stepped in as an enthusiastic sort of twenty four, twenty five year old into an
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industry because I love the planet.
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I love the earth.
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I am fascinated by the Roxanne, ontology, and how it all works.
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And so it was something that I was really fascinated in.
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And I love solving technical problems, working in a team, and, I love my geology, and I still
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love my geology, yet working in a technical environment like that with loads of engineers,
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a lot of a a lot of money, a lot of accountability, a lot of responsibility, like
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mass of budgets.
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I mean, the wells we were drilling were costing about a $100,000,000 each to drill.
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And we were planning my last role, my team We're planning, like, over 36 wells.
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So a spend of about a $1,000,000,000.
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I mean, a lot of, you know, yeah, and we got none to but I think subconsciously we didn't
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get numb to it, especially, sure most of you remember the, Gulf of Met go oil spill.
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That was a BP event, and I worked for BP.
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So it was a front and foremost that we must never ever, ever let an event like that happen
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again, understandably, because 7 or 8 individuals lost their lives and obviously
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terrible environmental consequences.
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So you're working in that environment.
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We must not make a mistake.
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We must not let happen.
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We must not fail certain.
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So So I would think that you are exposed to, like, you know, being a geologist, obviously,
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your capacity the, you know, I would say, and I I could I'm not stereotyping, but I would think
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that you would be a very logical, linear, pragmatic system systemic kind of thinker, high
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strategy thinker, which I often think that, you know, the right brain you get that, but you get
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that in such a diametrically opposed way.
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So when you were an oil and gas, what did you do at that time to feed that part of you, or
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did you just kinda shut off from that part?
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I don't think I realized I even had it, so I couldn't even shut it off.
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I wasn't, I was just in a doing mode.
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My way of dealing with stress was to go skiing or to go hiking or to go climbing.
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So it was all very much physical, logical, as you say.
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The creative side didn't get any airtime at all.
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I was fully, if you like, you look at my name with Claire Yvonne, Clare was very much in the
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masculine.
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I was using a lot of head headfirst forceful energy to survive and to keep going and to get
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results.
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And so it was a there wasn't space.
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I didn't allow any space in my life for for the other side of my brain and for the create it
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just didn't happen.
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It wasn't like I deliberately ignored it.
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I'd never ever felt like I had it.
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So it's been lovely to discover it.
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And then that's why my violinist has come in, which is my creative, feminine holding,
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receptive energy.
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Which to be fair, to your question, I think was coming through in the way I work with people,
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work with my team, was an empathy and leading the diversity and inclusion work that I was
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doing and leading the women's network because I was very empathic and sensitive as a a team
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leader, and I did it very differently.
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It's a senior leader, you know, bringing it, trying to bring everyone in.
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And so that's where it came out, I guess.
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And now it's coming out even more and feels more of a balance of both worlds.
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Were you allowed that space, like you said, you were, you know, a big female and and being able
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to, obviously, we know female leaders lead in a different way.
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Was there room in in that sector for you to kind of, utilize those gifts to lead in your
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own way, or was there a bit of pushback if it was too much of
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that.
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And it felt like what was important to the business was knowing your numbers.
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It wasn't about how you treated your staff.
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So it was tough because That wasn't my main skill set.
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I had people in my team that could do that, but it was very much a, you know, masculine was
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what was recognized.
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So being empathetic, being sensitive was not on being an awesome team leader, which is what I
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was, or esports and senior leader wasn't as recognized as strongly.
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You know, even I got told so many times, you know, you need to be more resilient.
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You need to be less sensitive.
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And likewise, myself and my corporate, environment, I was collaborative.
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Like, I always was, you know, collaborating with IT or accounting.
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You know, the health and wellness, you know, trainers and those types of things.
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And I remember as, I went through a couple of acquisitions in my tenure.
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And I was god told that I was being too soft.
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I needed to toughen up.
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We need to look at the Yeah.
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P and Ls.
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Look at the P and Ls and look at the bottom line and what is the revenue numbers, you know,
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in reference to the bucket of the business And I would I would say, oh, yeah.
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I get that, but and in my case, it was health and wellness as well.
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But still, there was a definite, hard pragmatic part to that.
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Where serving people online at that point and we're talking 20 years ago was was already
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showing as viable.
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And I was like, well, no.
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But they need certain things face to face.
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And there was always that bit of a pushback where I got told you you need to kind of fall
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in line.
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So I and I would get those talks, right, as well.
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You know, at the as the budget meetings and things like that.
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And and now I look back and I recognize because of what I talk about, which is be about being
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authentic, and leading from the heart.
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I that's what truly how I led my team that was around me, which worked really well until I had
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to take Steph up a little a couple of levels up, and oftentimes I would kinda get knocked
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back down into the peg that kind of fit, you know, and I had to adjust things in order to
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survive.
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And to be to to be fair, I guess, on a on BP, that, you know, there was a lot of talk about
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diversity and inclusion, a lot of talk about leadership behaviors, a lot of talk about
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ethics.
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And yet, it didn't translate into what was being recognized either monetarily or or
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performance rating wise, if that makes sense.
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So I think it was shifting, but I've been there 20 years and it had re the needle had not
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shifted a huge amount.
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Who?
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Yeah.
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Let's talk about when used to when you made the shift.
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So what happened that you decided to and I like that world word.
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I've never heard it before.
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I'm sure it's good.
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You're gonna hear it popping up, but the soul magical, you called it, the soul magical.
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I've never heard that before.
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Did you make that up, or did you did you kind of pilfer that from somewhere else?
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No.
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My I have a a very good friend of mine, a lady called Shelley Paxton, who has written a book
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called Solbaticle, and she took a Solbaticle.
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She was at Harley Davidson, and and and see, marketing.
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So and Yeah.
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She wrote the book, and I've been I'm in a group, a a coaching mastermind group with her.
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And so she was in other and there's others in the group.
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What would be an possible goal.
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And I was like, oh my god, to take a so logical.
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That would be an impossible goal.
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And I had a call with her, and she like, you should take a year off.
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I'm like, oh my gosh.
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I couldn't possibly take a year off.
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And then here I am.
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It's was July.
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So it'll be 8 nearly 9 months, probably before I'm back in the UK, sort of 7 months of a soul
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vertical.
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And then It's a good word there, isn't it?
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It's a beautiful
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Love it.
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That's an amazing word.
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I I it really it brings you right into what the spaces that gets created, right, you know, and
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then it's it's something that I think truly all of us should do, in our in our lifetime, you
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know, not, you know, you either take, time off, you know, generally for different agent stage
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things, along the way, like, in myself as a mom, I took the year off.
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And then when I got a severance package, instead sitting with it, I jumped right back in
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without taking a I should have taken a soul batch of gold.
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That would have been probably very, very good for me, but again, I started not I didn't go
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back to full time work, but taking that time, I would think that that's a good place to
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resonate and really learn.
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So what made you make that shift, and me some of the things that started to happen.
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You said your your health started to fail, which is the body saying, okay.
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I gotta I gotta I gotta you know, show you what you're really not listening to, and then then
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what happened after that?
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There was signs as well.
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Like, I broke my leg, that was a university and slow down.
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I then got bitten by a dog in India, and that was another message to say slow down.
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So If the signs are there for us, if if we choose to listen, it took me another 2 years to
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listen after those messages to to leave my corporate job.
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And but the reality was my body was just saying it's untired, even though what I noticed was
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that even after I'd left the corporate world, my body was still responding in a stressful
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way.
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It was like I had a stress body locked inside of me.
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And I I so even though the stress input had had, I was still feeling like I was under some,
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his another lovely term.
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I've had trauma had stress induced trauma, because this daily drip of stress into our
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bodies over a 20 year plus period, has a traumatic impact on us physically.
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And so I realized I just needed some time.
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I need I'd also the other thing we haven't even mentioned, but I was separated from my husband.
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So I'd moved house just before lockdown happened.
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So I was therefore in lockdown in a new town on my own with my dog, And and there's all the
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support mechanisms I had in place for, you know, a conference here and a networking event
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there and a you know, a face to face pre coaching event in America.
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All those events have gone.
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And so I felt really a it was at end of April, like, didn't know which way to turn.
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And so it was part of, you know, I was literally wailing down.
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So, actually, it's so bless her.
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Your your other your guests the, and friends.
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And so it was after that, I was like, you know, what, what do I need?
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What's my body asking me to do to actually really miss and it was like, I need to be
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somewhere warm so I can heal.
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And so that's why I then and also, I was being encouraged to write a book Now I haven't
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written a book to tell my story, but, I've been writing poetry.
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And I'm, you know, it's evolving and and coming.
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So I wanted to have I knew I wouldn't do.
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If I stayed in Scotland in my house, I would never write.
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So it was like, okay, permission to have a break to see what comes out, and it was
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interesting what what did appear.
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Did you ever like to write as a child?
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No.
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Not at all.
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I'm the opposite.
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I did it.
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I thought I couldn't write.
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I thought it was rubbish at English.
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I thought it was rubbish at art.
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And now I'm drawing and I'm writing.
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And I told myself some quite vicious lies that I couldn't write.
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I wasn't creative.
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I thought I literally thought I wasn't a creative person, and it's not true.
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So for say, yeah, so 5th female executives or just any executives.
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I mean, I think sometimes, you know, I think of a lot of female executives.
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You kinda I remember a lot of people at the level that I was at that, you know, there was a
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trajectory you know, we had those, you know, long hours and, you know, events we had to
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attend.
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And I I remember I when I became a mom, I I was like, I would say dazzled sometimes because I
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was still doing it, but I I just I couldn't keep it up, and the burnout was gonna come.
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And I see a lot.
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I I saw that at the level that I was at as well.
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And even the levels above me, in that a lot of women delayed a lot of things, you know,
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potentially in relationships or maybe curve that or even a lot of people, I remember, not
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having their children, and delaying that choice So for someone that's kinda at that I'm gonna
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use that crossroads that you were at.
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And the signs are coming at them.
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Would you suggest they do just to slow down to listen to what the universe is kind of telling
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them or showing them around
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I think the first step with anything is awareness is if you have that awareness, then
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great.
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And then it's like to access that there's all sorts of tools from, doing, like, a journal
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each day, you know, maybe 10 minutes in the morning or you know, daily journaling or a
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daily meditation to help take your heart rate down.
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Or for me, I love, you know, walking and being in nature, nature, it's prior to be powerful,
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and it's such a healer.
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If we if it sounds a bit odd, but if you just go and look at a tree or a leaf, for 5 minutes,
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you kind of suddenly start to realize how amazing Mother Nature is.
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And it, I think nature being in nature automatically takes our nervous system down and
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not so for inflight or flight might might take the adrenaline down a bit just by breathing
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fresh air and oxygen.
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So it's somehow creating space in that daily schedule.
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And when we create space, we can then start to access feelings and emotions, which we may have
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been ignoring, which is tough.
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So the other thing is to all, for me, I've had amazing support in the last 4 years.
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I wouldn't be on this cell vertical if it wasn't for the stunning support I have had from
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this awesome coaching group that I'm in.
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I mean, like I said, I've had a coach now for over 4 years, and it just has helped me take
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keep going.
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And even now, I'm building my business back up.
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I've got some awesome coaching in the last 3 weeks.
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Okay.
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You know, this is, you know, what asking me good questions, and what do you want?
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What do you want creating, what are you gonna do?
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I'm like, okay.
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I'm gonna make those 15 phone calls.
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I'm gonna get after this, you know, having pod being on podcasts.
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And and so at for me, because I'm quite a verbal person, a verbal processor, talking
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through things where people helps motivate me.
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So it's finding the kind of person that you really resonate with to create a supportive,
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nurturing, growing relationship so that you can take, you know, just the first step.
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Once you take them one step, then the next step seems possible.
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It's, it's it's always that first step.
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What did they say?
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It's the, the best data plan to treat was 20 years ago.
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The next best time to plant the tree is today.
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Right now, right now.
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So, you know, when I, you know, my book that's coming out in April, it we, you know, it's I
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you know, I talk about authentic heart leadership because, you know, I think a lot of
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senior level, people and above, or even middle managers you know, they get into the tactical,
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but with the higher level they get, they are, like you said, there's there's there's targets,
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there's stressors, and oftentimes, it's kinda like you know, kinda there's certain things I
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have to get done.
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So the awareness sometimes gets, I'm gonna say, parked for one of a better word because I got
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all these million things to do.
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And what we know is that, especially through this time that we've been through Clari Von, is
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that more than ever that people around us need to feel a sense of connection, to us in order
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so that they can they can do what's needed to continue to function, but also to, give that
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productivity level, you know, a high level of productivity and creativity even.
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So for the male counterparts out there, not that I'm, you know, you know, making a
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division, but ready to some degree, I think as females, you know, were bred to to connect and,
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you know, relate to people more, but unfortunately, men sometimes aren't afforded
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the same things.
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So for the male senior leaders or leadership teams that might be listening to what the
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experience in men that are going through, do you think the path for them would be any
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different than what you're suggesting?
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That you've been through?
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Not not at all.
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I mean, like, because I think interestingly, I was probably acting out about 80 sent one of
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one in masculine energy anyway.
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I mean, every every human being's got both, you know, half masculine, half feminine.
25:33
So I think the the it's it's around for me.
25:36
Rich Flippen, who I work with as a co he's one of my coaches.
25:39
You know, he's he always talks about slowing down to speed up.
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And now you're talking about this, the tyranny of the urgent.
25:45
You can't see the wood for the trees for the inbox.
25:48
It's completed over well.
25:50
Actually, taking that 10 minutes out for a walk at lunchtime, when you come back in, suddenly
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things can fall into place.
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So while you're on the walk, oh, that's what I need to say to sense that all.
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The the mind needs time to heal and to process.
26:08
And and the other thing, of course, and this is the same for every human being, sleep is
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incredibly important and quality sleep because That's, again, when the brain heal, but
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literally the physical brain heals and recovers, it has to flush out the toxins of all
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the stuff that it's processing within the day and file it all.
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And and we end up we don't value sleep enough.
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And there's a amazing sleep scientist of Matthew Walker who's wrote the book why we
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speak.
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And he talks of the human adults ought to have 8 hours sleep.
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And I I think the average American 60,020 minutes.
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I don't know what the Canadian stats are, but
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It's probably not too far behind.
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Maybe we were a little bit better, but I think, you know, it's interesting because morning in
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my writing group, we were talking about, you know, how how it's, you know, our our central
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nervous system needs to be nurtured.
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And I think, unfortunately, what's happening is as we're going, with this, you know, digital
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economy, we're not recognizing the amount, you know, of stress that we're putting on our brain
27:11
at any given point.
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And to your point, like, it's like, if you're hungry and you go too long, your body freaks
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out because you have to feed it, but what are the cues that really most of us, what you're
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talking about is that you were your body was saying the migraines and other things that
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you're experiencing.
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Like you said, you broke your leg with myself.
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You know, I was the same thing.
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I got assaulted.
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This is part of my story that you mean Nuclear, Yvonne, is that I, just before I made the
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change, I was at a corporate meeting, and I said the universe gives, you know, the universe
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just says, guess what?
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I'm just gonna do this for you because you're not listening to my signs.
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Walk by someone.
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It just you know, getting out of the corporate meeting, person knocked me out quite literally.
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I did not.
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It was a complete stranger.
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And I, you know, when I do my keynote, when I talk about being on my back and, you know,
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literally looking up at the sky and it was this young man, and he had this pool blue eyes, kind
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of like the color of your necklace that I see there, and he said to me, it's gonna be all
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okay.
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And I'll never forget that statement because nothing in my life since that day has stayed
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the same.
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You know, so going back to the whole concept that you said, the the the the things are
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around you, just be aware.
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Right?
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Like, you're, you know, to to align yourself with that space within yourself.
28:36
Sometimes the universe is showing you.
28:37
And but we're so overworked and people's depletion of their central nervous system and
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their entire space that most of us are missing it.
28:47
And I think even more so in the last, I would say, month, you know, sorry, year, year, and,
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and bit that we've been going through the pandemic.
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And it and it's tough, Roxanne.
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I I get hands up.
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It is, especially if you're not clear on what the alternatives are.
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And that's why I stayed.
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In my marriage was, you know, I was in a 20 year relationship.
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And that's why I stayed in oil and gas for 20 years.
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It was like, I was in full of fear and didn't know what to do.
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And so it I get that toughness.
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And if I can do it, anybody can do it.
29:17
You know?
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And there's nothing super human about me.
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It's just one front in front of the other and choosing to listen and and find something that
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resonates with me and lights me up instead.
29:29
Right.
29:30
Right?
29:31
Well, this has been an amazing chat, and I'm sure everyone will gain something.
29:36
And, the parallels between our stories are actually kind of interesting as well.
29:41
For people listening that might want to reach out or to have a chat or, coaching when you
29:48
kind of get things going.
29:49
And the poetry book, when you put it out, where could people get a hold of you and are there
29:55
any last words you might wanna share before we wrap things up?
29:59
So I I use link LinkedIn as my main communication platform at the moment.
30:04
So little videos on there, and some on there is a Clari Von Nasbert.
30:09
And then I do have a a website called brightcatalyst.net.
30:13
That's my my business, website.
30:16
And my poetry book, I'm actually on Facebook.
30:19
So if you wanna come on Facebook, it's called Clari Von Poetry.
30:23
And, yeah, I I think do I have any last words?
30:29
We all are unique We are all special and we all, can live a life that is fulfilling and
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enjoyable, as leaders in corporations or whatever I chosen path is.
30:46
And starting to love ourselves is the 1st step.
30:49
I know people don't like using the word love, but we fill our own self worth up, then we can
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then spill it out to others, and then individuals start to thrive.
30:58
Our team would start to thrive or our families start to thrive.
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And we all have it inside of us.
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We're all beautiful, unique, essence spirit souls.
31:08
And, you you can do it.
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Thank you.
31:13
Well, so much.
31:14
So what am I walking away with?
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You know, I often say that we're often so busy, but the the voices that need to be heard, and
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within which that's gonna be elicited.
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And, like, Claire Vaughn.
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One thing that I, have been always been doing, but I've been doing even more so in the last
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years that, I walk for an hour and a half a day, gardless of what's going on as much as I
31:40
can.
31:41
And that's when I I get to a point.
31:43
The 1st 45 minutes, not so much.
31:46
The the latter part of my walk is when that voice just comes to me, and it's almost like
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I'm, you know, digesting and reintegrating things and and figuring out lots of things as I
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walk.
31:57
So my challenge for you is to think what is it that you can do to connect with that part of
32:03
yourself so that you can look at the cues around you because we all have them, but you
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you may not be, getting to a level of awareness, to connect with it.
32:13
So try something different or try something a bit longer that you've been doing and see where
32:18
it brings you.
32:19
Again, Claire Vaughn, thanks so much for your time, and for everyone listening, if you're
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wanting to know more about authentic leadership, and your teams, you can reach me at
32:28
Roxanne.
32:31
Thanks for tuning in to authentic living with roxanne creating the space for positive,
32:36
healthy change.
32:37
Roxanne is a keynote speaker, psychotherapist, and coach to work with Roxanne, visit
32:44
roxannederhaj.com/blueprint.
32:48
We'll see you next time.
32:49
An authentic living with Roxanne.