Latest / The On Purpose Podcast / Ep. 348 - Living Your Dream
Transcript
- The On Purpose Podcast: You are listening to the On Purpose Podcast. There's a moment in every man's life, especially for veterans, first responders, and men called to lead when the uniform comes off, but the mission doesn't end. Too many try to navigate that transition alone without structure, accountability, or brotherhood. That's why I'm proud to partner with Missions Purpose, a community built for men who refuse to drift. Inside the school platform, You get live calls, challenges, frameworks, and disciplined brotherhood that pushes you to rebuild purpose, direction, and daily structure. If you're ready for the next chapter of your mission, click the link in the show notes to join us inside the Missions Purpose Community on School. You are never meant to walk this road alone. What's up, everybody? Welcome to this week's edition of the show, where you know it's our privilege and our pleasure to show up with you each and every week. And happy May to you. And I don't know how you guys feel, but Andrea and I love spring. It's one of our favorite seasons of the year. And quite honestly, as we travel, one of our plans is to always extend spring and fall. Because we just find that they have, those two seasons have the best weather, right? Like nice days, you can get out and do stuff, cool nights. You don't have to run the AC, you don't have to run the heater. So we spend a lot of our time. trying to maximize our spring and fall. So I hope your spring's off to a good start. I hope you're enjoying it and welcome to the show. So with May being here, I want to start with a simple question and that is this. What happens after you name your dream? What happens after you decide, wait, this is what I want to be doing. This is the thing that's inside of me that I can't get rid of. Remember last month kicking off April we did our dream chasers episode which we talked about Rediscovering dreams that maybe life buried or finally acknowledging the ones that have been whispering to you for years And I gotta tell you I've been blown away and super humbled by the amount of people that reached out and and shared that they were taking that first step to pursue that dream or ⁓ that they're further along in the journey because they realize like this is a dream, I'm not going to sacrifice it anymore, I'm not going to put it on the back burner, I'm going to live it. It's been really humbling to get those and to be able to share and be part of other people's journeys. But now I gotta ask, after we name our dream, after we're like, okay, this is what I want. Something else happens to us a lot of times, right? We start to notice that gap between what we're living and what we want to be doing. What we're day to day life and our habits are and where we want ourselves to be. We start to get pulled. Sometimes we start to feel responsibility. Wait, maybe I need to go now. Life's getting shorter, it's not gonna get any easier. I won't have more time, I won't be in the same shape anymore, I won't be this young ever again. Here's what I wanted to throw out and some of the discussions I've had and some of the thoughts I've had about the dream chasers episode is the byproduct of not pursuing our dream. The byproduct of not doing it. You see a lot of times when you don't pursue your own dreams when you don't have that big or why of what you're doing it's easy for us to get caught unconsciously trying to live our dreams out to somebody else. I think about this parents doing it with their kids right that crazy parent is pushing her kids and all the things they wanted to be good at and live in vicariously through them. Partners with each other. Leaders with their teams and probably one of most obvious places is fans with athletes right that fanatic fan that the day is ruined if their team loses and all the time and investment they put into something they can't control. Because it's easy to slip into projecting our own unlived dreams onto people that are closest to us. Not because we're trying to be controlling, but I think it's a sign, it's an alert to you that there's something else in you that wants to come alive. Right, because I really believe chasing your dream is what keeps you alive. what keeps you from going through the motions of the day to day. I think it also frees the people around you from having to carry the weight of your expectations of what you think they should be doing. Because a lot of times if we're focused on our dreams, if I'm focused on putting in the work that I'm supposed to do, I don't have time or energy to tell you what you're supposed to do. I'm just gonna appreciate you're doing it. you're gonna appreciate I'm doing it. So today I want to talk about what comes next after we identify that dream. What does it actually look like to start living the dream we need? We named the identity shift, the resistance, the momentum, and the freedom for you and the people you love that comes from choosing to pursue what calls us. You see, naming a dream, saying I have this dream. is it provides clarity right lets you know okay this is where I need to be going is where I want to be going living the dream is the commitment Telling somebody about your dream feels exciting, exhilarating. ⁓ this is my dream. Listen to this. I have this all mapped out. But living it is uncomfortable. Naming the dream sharing it that moment is just that it's a moment but living it is the process. See, there's this awkward middle space between the intention we have and the action we take. And it's easy in those in that space for doubt to creep in. Who am I to chase this? We might ask ourselves. What if I fail? What if I'm not ready? But here's the truth and moving from naming to acting is that momentum I talk about this all the time. love the word momentum. love mo. Momentum matters more than motivation. see motivation is an emotion. I'm excited, I'm motivated, I watched a video, I heard a talk, I read a book. I'm motivated but it's fleeting. Momentum is behavioral. See I don't need to feel ready because you'll never be ready. You just need to take the next step. Take that step and we get that momentum going, we're gonna notice. identity show. Because a dream doesn't respond to who I used to be. It responds to who I want to become. The momentum we're building isn't based on who we were, where we're going. You see, and every dream is going to require that identity shift, which is made up of your small daily choices that reinforce who we're becoming. The habits, the boundaries that we set. The routines that now become daily routines. The decisions that say I'm serious about this. It's also about letting go of the identity of who we were if we were playing it small, being safe. The version of you that didn't want to take this big risk, that didn't want to do these things, which you didn't want to disappoint somebody. The version of you that realized keeping it quiet was easier externally, but harder internally. Because living your dream now means you become the person who can carry the dream. It's been in you the whole time, but now we're actually working on And one of the biggest things that I took away from last month's episode and the whole dream chaser idea and sharing it in the shirts and the movement I like to call it or the collection is that when we share our dream, it allows other people to support us for as much time and energy and effort as we put into thinking people are gonna naysay our dreams, they're gonna talk down on our dreams, they're gonna tell us we can't do it, we're not ready. We're not good enough, not pretty enough, we're not handsome enough, whatever. There's also a group of people that are gonna go, ⁓ my God, that's your dream, let's do it. I support you, how can I help you? Because when you chase your dream alone, it can be slow. You might not know you're making progress. It's easy to stop, it's easy to slack off the habits and to let the momentum die. Because we all need people around us to believe in us. people that might go, hey, we got to get this run in today, we got to this workout in today, we got to eat properly today, we got to read that book, we got to take that, whatever it is your dream is that you're pursuing, you need people around you that can help remind you why you started in those moments when the doubt gets louder, to help hold you accountable. One of my favorite things is people who see the version of who you're becoming not trying to hold you to who you used to be. Even, even on the days that you're not sure anymore. You see the community around you doesn't carry your dream. Right? That's yours. That's your dream. We can't carry it for each other, but we can help you carry yourself to the dream. we can remind you of the conversations, the inputs, the momentum you have. Because sometimes when we're in it, we don't even see the momentum we've built. We don't even see the progress we've made because it's small to us because we're doing it day to day. But that outsider who hasn't seen us in a month, a week, a year, goes, ⁓ my God, you've lost so much weight. ⁓ man, you're looking so good. You're doing this, you're doing that. I noticed this stuff. to reaffirm and you know, wait, I am on the right path. I am doing the thing. One of the things I want challenge our community with is be that person for those around you. Right? It's weird in a society that we're so slow to compliment another person. We're slow to compliment because we think if I tell you, you look great, if you're so successful, I'm glad your business is doing well, it means mine can't do well. If I acknowledge what you're doing greatly, what you've improved on, it means I'm not improving. That's not the case team. That's not the case. And that's what dream change is all about is that community of saying, Hey, I recognize this in you. I see you doing this. This is great stuff. We're not afraid to throw out the compliments. I'm not afraid to recognize the greatness and others and the momentum they've created and the work they're putting in because it doesn't reflect negatively upon us because hopefully we're working on ourselves as well. And you see when we start to see ourselves in that light, it's easier to see others in the light. Just like if we're Seeing ourselves as we're not ready, we can't do it. Whatever that negative self-talk we share with ourselves, a lot of times we'll put that same lens on those around us. But when we're chasing dreams, when we're in it, there's gonna be friction. There's gonna be resistance. Right? And resistance to me is not the time to go, I should quit. It's getting hard. Resistance isn't the point where you go, oh, I'm not sure I can do this. I like to go, okay, when I get to that point where I feel the resistance, when I feel that, oh, that pushback, that's when I know I'm right where I need to be. Because up till that point, I was only doing what I'm comfortable with. Right? If it was easy, I didn't feel any resistance. I got this new idea. I'm taking these steps. Everything's flowing. I haven't hit a hurdle yet. Well, that's the easy part. You've probably already done some of that. You're familiar with it. But what happens when we hit that first wall? I want you to shift your mind and a second, what am I doing this for? Right? That dream, whatever it is we're trying to achieve, whatever it is we're trying to create in our world. And when we hit the hurdle, when we hit the wall, I want you to realize, wait, this is what I've been looking for. I wanted to get here because here is where I start to grow about myself. and that resistance only comes because something matters. Because if it didn't scare you, it wasn't meaningful, it wouldn't stretch you to growth. it wasn't yours, it wouldn't demand growth. You see, when I get discomfort, when I become uncomfortable, that's data. That's feedback. I'm on, ⁓ and evidence that I am on the right path. I'm moving towards something that matters. So when I feel that... I know, okay, I'm doing something now. I got through the comfort, I got through all the easy shit. Now I get to learn, now I get to grow. Right, one of the things I tell myself, and I was talking with Andrea about this the other day, is we train for Copper Kings 100, our first 100 mile race. There's a lot of runs like now that I need to do like some 20 miles and 30 miles back to back to train my body for this. was telling her, man, I wish I could just skip the first 15 miles, say, because I find those sometimes to be boring because I've been there before I've done that. But I love that feeling when I hit that second half. Now, ⁓ my gosh, can I do this? Can my legs keep going? Do I have the right nutrition? Do I have to, am I dialed in the way I'm supposed to be? But I can't, you can't the first part to get to the back part. You gotta enjoy it, right? You gotta understand, okay, I need to get to this to get to where I wanna go. And when I hit that discomfort, I don't wanna feel sorry for myself. I don't wanna feel bad for myself. Why am I uncomfortable here? Why is this so hard? Why is it challenging? I go, no, wait, wait, wait a second. This is exactly what I wanted. If I didn't want this, I should have stopped at 15 miles, because I've done that before. It's not that hard for me anymore. But I went and grow. I'd stay the same. I'd be in the same spot. So this whole month if you get anything out of this episode I want you to say, okay I got my dream. I'm working towards my dream. I'm taking whatever action steps I need to no matter how small we're taking steps. We're building momentum. And when I get resistance, resistance is proof and evidence that I'm on the right track. I'm growing. I'm becoming whatever it is chose to be. So here's what we want to do this month. We want to have one dream. Whatever that dream is, we named it April. We want to identify one behavior, daily or weekly, that moves you forward. We want to have one person that we share our progress with and that we try to be that person for somebody else. And then we will make one commitment. Something that I do consistently for the next 30 days. Because understand this, small steps compound. Momentum is built through daily actions. It is never found. So I hope you can take that challenge this month and make the month of May when we go from having dreams to pursuing dreams, to becoming our dreams. If that aligns with you, check out our Dream Chasers line at our shop. Online you can see it in the show notes. And grab that Dream Chasers shirt. Money goes to charity, but also lets people know around you, wait, I'm chasing dreams, and I'm gonna support you chasing your dreams. We'd love to have you on the team. We'd love to support you in your journey. But as I close, I don't want to leave with that. I want to share something personal with you. And it's part of being a dream chaser. But it was an unknown byproduct that I've had to get better at learning throughout my life. Because it's someone that dreams big, I hope you understand now, you see what I do, and I dream big, and I always believe I'm capable. and I pursue things hard, don't want to leave them on the table. I gotta tell you, I've had seasons... ...where my pace... created pressure for the people around me. Think about that for a second. Because I was dreaming so much and I was wanting to pursue so much, I unintentionally created pressure for people around me. Not intentionally, but because I was so locked in to the growth mode that I didn't stop and recognize and notice who wasn't built for that same speed. Looking back I could see friendships that faded not because they weren't good people and because of conflict we couldn't get along but because I didn't understand that ambition without awareness oftentimes feels like a demand to those around us. I was chasing what called me but I wasn't always honoring the people who didn't have the same calling or the same passion to pursue them. So as I've studied, and continue to pursue my own dreams, I've learned an important lesson, and that is to balance it with grace. Right, you see there's two worlds there. We can chase our dreams, support the other people that we know that are chasing our dreams, without imposing any on others. recognizing that every path has its own pace. None of them are right or wrong. They can just be different. And this hits home for me right now as I'm training for the race and Trey is doing the run with me, our son. And I'm proud of him for signing up. I'm proud of him for making a commitment to push himself and to share the moment with me, right? To share that journey. I'm excited for him. also mindful that I don't want my dreams to become his burden or anybody else's. I need to allow space when I dream that the people around me can also have dreams that are different to pursue their own, not inherit just what I'm doing. and I just thought it out for us to be aware. Because I was pretty bad at it, to be honest with you. When I was younger, I was bad at it. And remember, your dream is yours to carry. It's yours to live. Not your partner's, not your team's, not your children. but chase what calls you. There's no glory in living small. There's no glory in staying safe. Chase what calls you. But also have the grace and awareness to let the people you love chase what calls them. When you do that, you don't just come alive. I believe you give everyone around you the freedom to come alive as well. So hope you enjoyed this week's episode. look forward to seeing your dream chasers out there supporting you whatever it is. and having you support the people around you, whatever they're into. There's enough room and enough success in the world for all of us if we're willing to identify the dream and then put in the work it takes to get us there. Have an awesome week everybody. Thank you so much for being here. As always, it's an honor and privilege to share this space with you. Please check out Show Notes, check on our sponsors, give them a little love and I'd love to see in the stores, represent some dream chasers gear. Have a great week. When you're training with purpose, your fueling can't be an afterthought. That's why I use NeverSecond, the simplest, most reliable system I have found for staying energized, hydrated and steady through their long efforts. Their C-Series carbs take the guesswork out of performance. No stomach drama, no complicated mixing, just clean, consistent fuel that actually works when the miles get long. If you want to train with more intention and recover without feeling wrecked, check out Never Second. Click the link in the show notes to get dialed in. Hey everybody, it's Jared Hardy here. If the on purpose podcast has sparked something in you, maybe a shift, a question, or a deeper dive, my excellence and leadership course is built to help you act upon it. This isn't just about leading others, it's about leading yourself with intention, resilience, and clarity. Whether you're an individual chasing growth or a team ready to level up. I offer custom coaching and speaking engagements to meet you where you are. Visit teamhardy.net and let's grow with purpose. And remember team, life is far too short to live any other way than on purpose. We'll see you all again next week.