Latest / Jess Ask / Building with a Partner Without Getting Offended | with Desiree Danielle | EP139

Transcript

Building with a Partner Without Getting Offended | with Desiree Danielle | EP139 · Jess Ask

• 0:36
  Speaker 1: It's cool yo, yo yo, it's your girl, Jessica Smith,
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: and you have entered the safe space where we decompress
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: half fun and guess what, Just as.
• 0:46
  Speaker 2: Y'all know, I don't do anything without my girl. Desireate
• 0:50
  Speaker 2: dol rate, delior rate. That's all right, that's all right,
• 0:53
  Speaker 2: that's all right, that's all right.
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: Hey girl, you know what I've been seeing these these videos, uh,
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: like these millennial parents.
• 1:01
  Speaker 2: You know, because are you considering a millennial? Yeah? You sure,
• 1:06
  Speaker 2: you're just old, old old part of the minium. Okay,
• 1:10
  Speaker 2: just keep going right, watch your mouth.
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: They've been teaching their kids someone like I do some
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: of like the dances.
• 1:18
  Speaker 2: Just that just wants my little bit heart because they
• 1:20
  Speaker 2: don't know nothing.
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: Body they don't know anything about especially Soldier boy, that
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: soldier for a.
• 1:27
  Speaker 2: Superman and you what mean you you you? Yeah, they don't.
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: They don't know about that Mississippi fun because he was
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: in Mississippi when he was doing that with the tall teas.
• 1:42
  Speaker 2: Okay, but now.
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: This generation, this generation a lootle different. They I don't
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: know what they got going on. They smacking hands and stuff.
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: I like that though, when they be like, you know,
• 1:51
  Speaker 1: smacking their hands and stuff. But y'all listen. If you
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: don't know where you've landed outside of what I just said,
• 1:59
  Speaker 1: I need you to know that this is the safe
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: space where we talk about everything, anything and everything. We
• 2:04
  Speaker 1: are in the year of the Builder, where the Lord
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: has commanded the builder to build, okay, and so we're
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: just continuing like the Lord just keeps giving us topics
• 2:13
  Speaker 1: and ideas and conversations regarding being the builder. So desilt
• 2:18
  Speaker 1: A and I was just in a conversation and she
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: was sharing with me, which I feel like also answers
• 2:23
  Speaker 1: a question for people that are curious about how we operate,
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: like building with somebody having a partner to deal with, right,
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: Because although Desirat and I get along, I love her
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: dirt the draws, we also have different thoughts and opinions
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: and concerns and different ways.
• 2:41
  Speaker 2: It's just design different. We are definitely and and and.
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: It could be frustrating. It can be frustrating, you know
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: what I'm saying. I love her, I really do. I
• 2:55
  Speaker 1: love you, and I know she loves me. But my god,
• 2:58
  Speaker 1: the working relationship is a beautiful thing and we're learning
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: how to develop it.
• 3:02
  Speaker 2: So we feel like we just need to talk about that,
• 3:05
  Speaker 2: So tell them what you told me? DOESI ate?
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: So the Lord has been showing me something this week
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: as I'm learning how to communicate better, right. You know,
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: there was a lot of seasons where it's not that
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: I didn't talk, it's that the communication, my communication wasn't
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: as efficient, right, communicating like how I felt about something
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: or what I was thinking. And mainly that just came
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: from you know, just childhood is to love my mama
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: down to hear me. But she was that lady was rough, okay,
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: and so my my emotions and things as far as
• 3:37
  Speaker 1: communicate them got shut down pretty early, right. And so
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: as I'm learning to do relationship with people, learning to
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: uh uh lead and steward people and things like that,
• 3:49
  Speaker 1: the Lord has just been showing me different things. And
• 3:50
  Speaker 1: so I believe it's earlier this week. We're not only
• 3:54
  Speaker 1: do we do the podcast together, we also kind of
• 3:56
  Speaker 1: work together in some other like multiple spaces more than
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: three right now. Yeah, Like we're we're on four projects
• 4:03
  Speaker 1: together right now currently, and so that and that's a normality,
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: but it's been very impactful because it's like now when
• 4:12
  Speaker 1: people book me or book her, we always think in
• 4:16
  Speaker 1: the ways that how we can include each other because
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: we already know the work and we already know what
• 4:20
  Speaker 1: we're capable of doing, so for sure. Yeah, So it
• 4:23
  Speaker 1: was one of the projects we were working on, one
• 4:27
  Speaker 1: of the projects, and it was some graphics and things
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: that we had to have done, and so I sent
• 4:33
  Speaker 1: them to her.
• 4:35
  Speaker 2: She was being me, Jessica, Yes, sent them.
• 4:37
  Speaker 1: So we had so we had the graphic designer make
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: the graphics and then so she sent them to me
• 4:42
  Speaker 1: so that I can kind of go in and put
• 4:43
  Speaker 1: the information and things on there that's needed. And so
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: then I sent to Jijessica. So Jessica says something about
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: the date being off, and so I'm looking. I'm like, like,
• 4:52
  Speaker 1: as I can see, it's a little little it's a
• 4:54
  Speaker 1: little off right here. So I moved the numbers over right.
• 4:56
  Speaker 1: So I sent it to her and then so she
• 4:58
  Speaker 1: circles in lines what it is that she talked about.
• 5:00
  Speaker 2: And I said, I she's tircuted. I was like, well,
• 5:04
  Speaker 2: I didn't see that.
• 5:06
  Speaker 1: So the alignment and the and the what you call
• 5:11
  Speaker 1: that the placement was a little off right. So I
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: was trying to get you to because I couldn't put
• 5:17
  Speaker 1: it into words.
• 5:18
  Speaker 2: What I was seeing. So I took a screenshot and
• 5:22
  Speaker 2: I was like.
• 5:23
  Speaker 1: This these this line like it's not aligned, it's not
• 5:28
  Speaker 1: properly together.
• 5:30
  Speaker 2: I can see that.
• 5:32
  Speaker 1: She could see that I ain't see that right, And
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: it's so funny because I was like, I had looked
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: at this thing, and I did shift over a couple
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: of things that that that that that that stood out
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: to me. But I just didn't see what she was seeing.
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: But what I did see, I did adjust right. So
• 5:47
  Speaker 1: I was like, Okay, Ry, it is so interesting. Like
• 5:49
  Speaker 1: so if you're one, if you don't know like who
• 5:52
  Speaker 1: you if you don't know the people that you're laboring
• 5:55
  Speaker 1: a mom saying that you're.
• 5:57
  Speaker 2: Working with or you're in.
• 5:58
  Speaker 1: Relationship with, like you could easily get offitted right. One
• 6:03
  Speaker 1: thing that I love I love my pastor, pastor Andre
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: ling Gates. One thing that she says very regularly in
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: our leadership meetings is it's really important to get to
• 6:13
  Speaker 1: know the heart of your pastor because sometimes they have
• 6:18
  Speaker 1: to lead you in a way that may not always
• 6:20
  Speaker 1: feel good. Right. They have to say some hard things,
• 6:22
  Speaker 1: they have to say some things that may not always
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: feel good. But if you know their heart, you know
• 6:26
  Speaker 1: that the things that they're saying aren't coming from a mouth.
• 6:28
  Speaker 1: I'm a bad place, right, So you know, I keep
• 6:32
  Speaker 1: that in my mind as i'm you know, working with
• 6:33
  Speaker 1: relationships like that, I'm just like, oh, I know, Jessica's
• 6:36
  Speaker 1: very O C D and very like this. And it's
• 6:39
  Speaker 1: the funny thing like sometimes the conversation I had with
• 6:41
  Speaker 1: the Lord, I said, Lord, I really wish I cared
• 6:43
  Speaker 1: more about stuff than what I do, Like you want
• 6:45
  Speaker 1: have to help me with it. It's not that I
• 6:46
  Speaker 1: don't care, but some things just like I didn't see it. Okay,
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: I didn't see it boom. So that was one thing.
• 6:53
  Speaker 1: So I love that because she was like, oh no, this,
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: and I could appreciate I say, oh, okay, I didn't
• 6:57
  Speaker 1: see that. And then so now what it does working
• 6:59
  Speaker 1: with people who are a little bit more type A
• 7:01
  Speaker 1: than I am. Even my pastors like that too, Like
• 7:05
  Speaker 1: things that I don't see. I don't get offended when
• 7:06
  Speaker 1: I say, hey, you missed this thing. I'm like, oh, well,
• 7:08
  Speaker 1: let me pay attention. It helps me to pay closer
• 7:11
  Speaker 1: attention next time.
• 7:12
  Speaker 3: You know.
• 7:12
  Speaker 1: And then it was another instance on another project with
• 7:18
  Speaker 1: it was an intro with an intro, it was an
• 7:21
  Speaker 1: intro that we were working on and it had plugged.
• 7:25
  Speaker 1: We're building something, Yeah, we're building something business. We're going
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: to have announce spent very soon.
• 7:29
  Speaker 2: Let me.
• 7:32
  Speaker 1: It was an intro video and I think there was
• 7:34
  Speaker 1: a the logo was on it, but it was in
• 7:37
  Speaker 1: two different places, right, yeah. And so she says, does
• 7:41
  Speaker 1: this look you think the logo make it look a
• 7:43
  Speaker 1: little off? And I was thinking, which, I don't think
• 7:46
  Speaker 1: that's what I say it is. I think what I
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: would say, what, okay, keep going, keep something like that.
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: She was like, does he look a little off? And
• 7:54
  Speaker 1: so I was like, what you mean by off? Like,
• 7:58
  Speaker 1: I don't, I don't know, because I I don't think.
• 8:00
  Speaker 1: So that's why I did it the way I did it.
• 8:02
  Speaker 1: But she was talking about the actual the color of
• 8:04
  Speaker 1: the logo. So the color of the logo that was
• 8:06
  Speaker 1: used wasn't necessarily the main color of the logo of
• 8:08
  Speaker 1: the brand, right, which sometimes you have to get like
• 8:12
  Speaker 1: a white and a black or you know, to offset
• 8:14
  Speaker 1: sometimes with design and things when you're laying on top
• 8:16
  Speaker 1: of things.
• 8:17
  Speaker 2: And I was like, hmm.
• 8:18
  Speaker 1: So when she said that, I was like, oh, well
• 8:20
  Speaker 1: that makes sense. Well, let me see if this one works,
• 8:22
  Speaker 1: and then it ended up not working in a particular
• 8:24
  Speaker 1: place anyway. But the Lord was you just go plug
• 8:28
  Speaker 1: that in. What go ahead, just go off. I mean
• 8:31
  Speaker 1: it's podcast today.
• 8:32
  Speaker 2: You know, we here, we had we had to yellow
• 8:34
  Speaker 2: a gug. We did go off.
• 8:35
  Speaker 1: So but what the Lord was just showing me and
• 8:38
  Speaker 1: telling me and just confirming, is that.
• 8:43
  Speaker 2: One I love Jessica, Why did your voice crack? Why
• 8:51
  Speaker 2: did your voice creak like a lie?
• 8:53
  Speaker 1: Because it's not like it's the whole truth. I love
• 8:57
  Speaker 1: her so much and she really helped me. I've really
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: grown in these last few years working with you. And
• 9:06
  Speaker 1: so what he's showing me now is that as we're building,
• 9:09
  Speaker 1: we have to be open to because sometimes I will
• 9:13
  Speaker 1: say for myself, like sometimes I don't say the thing
• 9:17
  Speaker 1: that I would like to say because in my mind,
• 9:19
  Speaker 1: I don't want to have to explain what I'm thinking
• 9:22
  Speaker 1: on my feelings. Right, No, that's so good, and I
• 9:24
  Speaker 1: don't and I also don't want to be misunderstood. Right.
• 9:27
  Speaker 1: But when you're building and you're communicating with people, you
• 9:31
  Speaker 1: have to be okay with explaining, and sometimes, depending on
• 9:36
  Speaker 1: who you're talking to, you may have to over explain
• 9:38
  Speaker 1: or continue to explain you know what I'm saying. Yeah,
• 9:41
  Speaker 1: different language, different language. And that's what the thing art
• 9:45
  Speaker 1: of communication does. The art of communication is you find
• 9:49
  Speaker 1: the puzzle piece that goes with that puzzle. You find
• 9:53
  Speaker 1: the piece that goes or the language that goes with
• 9:55
  Speaker 1: that person. And so our language here at just asks.
• 9:59
  Speaker 1: When we're taught the cold, the community, our community is
• 10:03
  Speaker 1: used to us, accustomed to us. They might jive, they
• 10:06
  Speaker 1: jive with they might you know, be like, okay, you
• 10:10
  Speaker 1: know what I'm saying, because most of you guys are
• 10:11
  Speaker 1: from the south, right, some most southern people say similar things.
• 10:16
  Speaker 2: But let somebody from the north come up.
• 10:18
  Speaker 1: Like I had a whole discussion with my my my
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: coworkers about what why dressing and stuffing we're not the
• 10:27
  Speaker 1: same thing. I was like, baby, that is not the
• 10:30
  Speaker 1: same thing. Like but they some people some people think
• 10:33
  Speaker 1: it is, and it's not. It's not the same thing.
• 10:35
  Speaker 1: But even when it's we use like something simple like
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: pop right pop and and up north is a soda.
• 10:46
  Speaker 2: You get what I'm saying, same thing, different different language.
• 10:50
  Speaker 1: Or some people call every every kind of soda a
• 10:52
  Speaker 1: coke a coke.
• 10:53
  Speaker 2: And it's not. It's not co co coke is a
• 10:57
  Speaker 2: type of soda. It is.
• 10:58
  Speaker 1: But you know, go off. The children say, but I
• 11:02
  Speaker 1: think that learning what what?
• 11:04
  Speaker 2: What? What? Thank you Holy Spirit? This is so good.
• 11:07
  Speaker 1: What happens is we get so comfortable in doing relationship,
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: in a relationship making us feel good, that we don't
• 11:14
  Speaker 1: explore the evolution of the person in the relationship. Desil
• 11:18
  Speaker 1: Ray is not the same woman I met.
• 11:21
  Speaker 2: Three four years ago. We initially been twenty one.
• 11:26
  Speaker 1: So it's oh, shoot, it's been five years since I've
• 11:28
  Speaker 1: known of you. So I've known of very good for
• 11:31
  Speaker 1: five years. For about five years now, we've been actual girlfriends,
• 11:37
  Speaker 1: like sister, like that's my home dog. I will fight
• 11:40
  Speaker 1: you over my friend Desi Ray. We've been like that
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: since twenty two. Twenty two is okay, we need to
• 11:49
  Speaker 1: get our timeline together because but both for both of
• 11:51
  Speaker 1: us not to know, it's ridiculous.
• 11:53
  Speaker 2: Okay, So she is not the.
• 11:56
  Speaker 1: Same woman that I saw initially when I first when
• 12:00
  Speaker 1: I first met her initially, she's not that same woman.
• 12:04
  Speaker 2: I'm not that same woman.
• 12:05
  Speaker 1: However, we have been able just naturally organically been able
• 12:11
  Speaker 1: to give each other room to evolve.
• 12:14
  Speaker 2: However, evolution requires.
• 12:18
  Speaker 1: Elevated language the language is going to change because your
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: digestion is changing. You've digested not only more, but your
• 12:28
  Speaker 1: quality of digestion has changed. And so for the both
• 12:33
  Speaker 1: of us, if we didn't make room for growth individually,
• 12:37
  Speaker 1: we wouldn't make room for growth for each other. And
• 12:40
  Speaker 1: this would this would be a frustrating relationship, y'all. This okay,
• 12:45
  Speaker 1: you were about to say, can I finish what you?
• 12:46
  Speaker 1: Was gonna say? That she loves me, but I probably
• 12:51
  Speaker 1: get on her last note. You can come back on
• 12:54
  Speaker 1: the screen. She loves me, I promise you. Desiray loves me.
• 13:02
  Speaker 1: I get on her last nerve. I love desil Ray.
• 13:05
  Speaker 1: I already know and I have the preference lately. Oh
• 13:08
  Speaker 1: my gosh, this is so she complained about. So I
• 13:10
  Speaker 1: won't say you playing, but she told y'all something about
• 13:12
  Speaker 1: that she deals with me Desi raate. I'll give Desiraate
• 13:15
  Speaker 1: an idea. I'll give Defistraate an idea that I have.
• 13:19
  Speaker 1: And sometimes I'm nervous to give the idea. For one,
• 13:22
  Speaker 1: she's gonna hold me accountable. That's the one thing like accountability.
• 13:25
  Speaker 1: I'll just admit it makes me nervous because they'll be like,
• 13:28
  Speaker 1: oh I gotta really do this, like I really gotta
• 13:31
  Speaker 1: do what I said I was gonna do. You know
• 13:32
  Speaker 1: what I'm saying, But I've gotten better at that. Number two,
• 13:35
  Speaker 1: desil Ray is going to ask me fifty million questions
• 13:38
  Speaker 1: like I've had time to strategize about the idea.
• 13:42
  Speaker 2: Girl, I just came up with the idea. Just hit me.
• 13:44
  Speaker 1: I'm trying to tell you so I won't forget, like
• 13:48
  Speaker 1: I'm trying to let it out so I won't forget
• 13:51
  Speaker 1: like because you're I bounce off off you.
• 13:53
  Speaker 2: I don't need to be interviewed about an idea. I
• 13:57
  Speaker 2: literally just.
• 13:58
  Speaker 1: I could wake up and say, oh my gosh, the
• 13:59
  Speaker 1: Lord you drop this to send her voice recorder and
• 14:02
  Speaker 1: she'll go, well, what is this?
• 14:04
  Speaker 2: How are they gonna pay you for this? Are they
• 14:05
  Speaker 2: gonna do this? Are they gonna do that? That's Ray,
• 14:08
  Speaker 2: I don't know.
• 14:08
  Speaker 1: I don't have an answer, and I'll say that and
• 14:10
  Speaker 1: she's still asking me questions worst my last.
• 14:13
  Speaker 2: What the questions do?
• 14:14
  Speaker 1: Though?
• 14:14
  Speaker 2: Do the help like in the process of don't we
• 14:16
  Speaker 2: try to help yourself out here? But they do help.
• 14:20
  Speaker 1: They because I found myself before presenting something to her.
• 14:24
  Speaker 1: We're talking about communication right before I present something to her,
• 14:28
  Speaker 1: I might preface it now say hey, Desi Ray, this idea.
• 14:32
  Speaker 1: I'm just letting you know right now, I ain't got
• 14:37
  Speaker 1: nothing else but the idea, so that she won't her
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: brain can know not to go down these questions, cause
• 14:45
  Speaker 1: the brain be braining. So now when does a ray
• 14:49
  Speaker 1: bring Because we talked throughout the week, like that's my dog.
• 14:52
  Speaker 1: Like we talked throughout the week. We're gonna text, we
• 14:53
  Speaker 1: gonna voice record, We're gonna do all that. When she
• 14:56
  Speaker 1: thinks about it, she's gonna that's part of her accountability.
• 14:59
  Speaker 1: Hey Jessica, what are you gonna do this thing that
• 15:01
  Speaker 1: you said? Like I thought that was a good idea,
• 15:03
  Speaker 1: or if it's a whack idea, she might not even
• 15:05
  Speaker 1: bring it up. No more like she ain't gonna.
• 15:07
  Speaker 2: Act like all my ideas. Just great.
• 15:09
  Speaker 1: But communicating where I am right and not being frustrated
• 15:14
  Speaker 1: with her, this is so good, Thank you Holy Spirit.
• 15:16
  Speaker 1: Not being frustrated that Desert rays DESI raight. I'm not
• 15:20
  Speaker 1: going to change Desert Ray. But what I will do
• 15:23
  Speaker 1: is say, hey, in this moment, what your strengths are.
• 15:27
  Speaker 1: I can't provide answers for where your strongs I don't
• 15:31
  Speaker 1: have an answer for that. I just got my strength
• 15:33
  Speaker 1: to present to you. Now I'm going to lean on
• 15:36
  Speaker 1: your strength, thank you, Holy Spirit. I'm going to lean
• 15:39
  Speaker 1: on the strength of your strategic measures when we plan
• 15:43
  Speaker 1: this out. But right now, as a creative, as a
• 15:47
  Speaker 1: as a as a vision, well what you got me
• 15:51
  Speaker 1: a dreamer, as somebody that just can come up with
• 15:54
  Speaker 1: a creative idea and see I can see it.
• 15:58
  Speaker 2: I need to get it.
• 15:59
  Speaker 1: Out because if I don't get it out, it's for one,
• 16:02
  Speaker 1: it might frustrate me.
• 16:04
  Speaker 2: Two, I might forget it. I really, I really do.
• 16:07
  Speaker 1: I will forget it because another idea just comes to
• 16:10
  Speaker 1: me just that easily.
• 16:11
  Speaker 2: So I have to preference.
• 16:14
  Speaker 1: Sometimes sometimes, don't I think give people room just to
• 16:17
  Speaker 1: continue to be themselves. But be honest in the moment
• 16:20
  Speaker 1: that you are in, Hey, I'm even overwhelmed with the idea.
• 16:24
  Speaker 1: I'm overwhelmed with what I'm seeing. Wait, hold up, and
• 16:27
  Speaker 1: then you asking me question, I just met the idea.
• 16:30
  Speaker 1: I haven't married the idea. I've just met the idea.
• 16:35
  Speaker 1: It's today, years old, it's this moment years literally, Okay,
• 16:39
  Speaker 1: and so desil ray and those two instances got a
• 16:43
  Speaker 1: download from the Lord regarding like communication, and so you
• 16:48
  Speaker 1: did say that already. So I feel like this is
• 16:53
  Speaker 1: so important because as we're building, as we're building, we
• 16:59
  Speaker 1: have to know who we are laboring amongst that. Because
• 17:05
  Speaker 1: when you don't know who you're laboring the monks, you stop, Oh,
• 17:09
  Speaker 1: thank you Holy Spirit. You stop focusing on the building.
• 17:15
  Speaker 1: Being frustrated with the partner. And when you start focusing
• 17:20
  Speaker 1: on your frustration, you start building the frustration instead of
• 17:23
  Speaker 1: the assignment.
• 17:25
  Speaker 2: Deesil Ray does ray.
• 17:29
  Speaker 1: If I was, if I was always focused on the
• 17:32
  Speaker 1: minor when I say, that's so minor, the irritation, Oh,
• 17:35
  Speaker 1: I'm so mad that Desiraate always she she she does
• 17:38
  Speaker 1: this thing which we have, this thing.
• 17:41
  Speaker 2: I'll ask, let me get free.
• 17:47
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna let you get free. To she does this
• 17:49
  Speaker 1: thing where I'll be I'll get in my head. Let's
• 17:54
  Speaker 1: just talk about this. So one of the things that
• 17:55
  Speaker 1: I have battled with and I'm getting better at, is
• 17:59
  Speaker 1: overthinking the goodness of Jessica right, overthinking the quality that
• 18:06
  Speaker 1: I bring, overthinking that I missed something right because I'm
• 18:11
  Speaker 1: always looking for moments of opportunity for me. Like I
• 18:16
  Speaker 1: got feedback from a new coach that I have, and
• 18:20
  Speaker 1: he told me nothing, like he had no correction for
• 18:24
  Speaker 1: me in the feedback, And I was like, so I
• 18:27
  Speaker 1: didn't even think that you was gonna tell me that.
• 18:29
  Speaker 2: What did you think about my teaching?
• 18:30
  Speaker 1: He was like, teaching is just you know, people choose
• 18:33
  Speaker 1: their own ways of teaching, like anybody could teach anything.
• 18:35
  Speaker 1: It's just a subject matter and the way you teach
• 18:37
  Speaker 1: it is your own. Like DNA, he said, you did
• 18:38
  Speaker 1: a really good job, but the way you worked the room,
• 18:41
  Speaker 1: he was like, some of that stuff people have to
• 18:43
  Speaker 1: learn or do, like people have to go to the course,
• 18:45
  Speaker 1: and you're just doing it naturally.
• 18:47
  Speaker 2: I was so confused.
• 18:47
  Speaker 1: I was waiting for him to tell me something I
• 18:49
  Speaker 1: did wrong, Like that's how my mind operates. And so
• 18:53
  Speaker 1: I'll get these especially after recording, y'all. I'll get in
• 18:57
  Speaker 1: these spats. Well, I'll say, de'sil Ray, what did you
• 19:02
  Speaker 1: think about that interview? Especially if we have a guess,
• 19:04
  Speaker 1: especially we have like a guess or whatever and I
• 19:06
  Speaker 1: can't really read them or whatever something, y'all.
• 19:09
  Speaker 2: I wish I was in my.
• 19:10
  Speaker 1: Head sometimes during these interviews and I'll say, des Ray,
• 19:14
  Speaker 1: what did you think about that? Did I say, did
• 19:15
  Speaker 1: I make sense when I said that, Oh, don't let
• 19:18
  Speaker 1: me be pre praying or speaking or something like that.
• 19:20
  Speaker 1: Did that make sense? I just did it the other
• 19:22
  Speaker 1: day when I pray, I say, hey, was I like?
• 19:25
  Speaker 1: Did I deliver that right?
• 19:27
  Speaker 2: Like did that? Did that hit? Or like? Did I
• 19:30
  Speaker 2: miss people?
• 19:31
  Speaker 1: Because I don't want people to miss what the what
• 19:33
  Speaker 1: the foundation or the point of the matter was. And
• 19:38
  Speaker 1: so I'll get in my head and Desi Race sometimes
• 19:41
  Speaker 1: will ignore me. I will say, sometimes she is she
• 19:50
  Speaker 1: ignores me. Most times she's like, why are you asking
• 19:53
  Speaker 1: me that, Jessica, And I have to explain if I
• 19:56
  Speaker 1: really want to answer for her, I have to explain
• 19:59
  Speaker 1: why I'm asking her the and have a good reason
• 20:01
  Speaker 1: for her to tell me. And most times she still
• 20:03
  Speaker 1: doesn't answer my question. So I'm learning that if I'm
• 20:07
  Speaker 1: in my head about something, try to get myself together,
• 20:11
  Speaker 1: because sometimes she will give me a compliment and say, hey, Jessica,
• 20:14
  Speaker 1: that was good because words of affirmation is is my
• 20:19
  Speaker 1: love language and she knows that. But she also used
• 20:23
  Speaker 1: her the reason why I'm gonna let you tell them?
• 20:25
  Speaker 1: Why don't you okay what you said and not what
• 20:31
  Speaker 1: I think what you said is that you don't want
• 20:34
  Speaker 1: me to keep leaning on your applause it's so many words.
• 20:41
  Speaker 2: Is that Is that right or wrong?
• 20:42
  Speaker 1: Because I think sometimes when you have a background of rejection,
• 20:48
  Speaker 1: sometimes people pleasing and I'm just noticing because it's you know,
• 20:51
  Speaker 1: it's I think it looks different for different people, but sometimes,
• 20:55
  Speaker 1: like I think, loving words of affirmation is a thing,
• 21:00
  Speaker 1: but needing it to feel validated for who you are
• 21:04
  Speaker 1: is a whole nother thing, right, And so my thing
• 21:06
  Speaker 1: is I don't want you to feel like somebody telling
• 21:10
  Speaker 1: you that you did a great job is the measure
• 21:12
  Speaker 1: of you being doing a great job. Like we have
• 21:15
  Speaker 1: to know who we are and what the Lord has
• 21:17
  Speaker 1: given us. Yeah, we always have room for improvement. But
• 21:21
  Speaker 1: I just don't want And it's not that I do
• 21:24
  Speaker 1: it intentionally or anything like that. It's just sometimes the
• 21:26
  Speaker 1: Lord is just like, hey, I know she did she
• 21:29
  Speaker 1: did good to my measure, you know what I'm saying,
• 21:31
  Speaker 1: And that's what really matters. And so I don't I
• 21:33
  Speaker 1: just don't ever want you to get dependent on that.
• 21:35
  Speaker 1: And I know that's not the thing, but sometimes it's
• 21:37
  Speaker 1: just how.
• 21:38
  Speaker 2: It come out.
• 21:38
  Speaker 1: So I'm sorry, Yeah, no, you're not sorry. Don't try
• 21:43
  Speaker 1: to tell the people that you're sorry, because then the
• 21:45
  Speaker 1: cops off.
• 21:46
  Speaker 2: You give it. You're giving me that, But no, I
• 21:49
  Speaker 2: think that.
• 21:52
  Speaker 1: The idea of working and building with someone, it's an
• 21:57
  Speaker 1: opportunity for you to learn the depths of them. Yeah, right,
• 22:01
  Speaker 1: and thank you Holy Sperience. It's almost like, Desiree. It's
• 22:05
  Speaker 1: almost like I knew you were good at what you do.
• 22:09
  Speaker 1: But it's making me like the Lord has given me
• 22:13
  Speaker 1: a window or not open door, because I'm not in
• 22:17
  Speaker 1: the window on the morning, like I'm in the house.
• 22:19
  Speaker 1: I'm inside.
• 22:20
  Speaker 2: I'm in.
• 22:21
  Speaker 1: It's like I'm getting to examine different rooms of you. Right,
• 22:25
  Speaker 1: And I think that because there's levels to relationships, and
• 22:31
  Speaker 1: when you're talking about somebody that you do life with,
• 22:33
  Speaker 1: like I literally can I can call the desirae for prayer,
• 22:36
  Speaker 1: I can call it with Desiree to cuss, I can
• 22:39
  Speaker 1: call it desil ray. To talk about those sessions be Yeah,
• 22:45
  Speaker 1: we've had some I've had to cuss to heal. I'm
• 22:49
  Speaker 1: just gonna say, like, I don't y'all. Y'all can talk
• 22:53
  Speaker 1: about it if you are too. I didn't cuss. I
• 22:55
  Speaker 1: didn't cuss to here. I had to, But every aspect
• 23:00
  Speaker 1: of me. So when you're dealing with somebody like that
• 23:02
  Speaker 1: and everybody doesn't, everybody can't manage.
• 23:04
  Speaker 2: Every aspect of you. Let me be very clear about that.
• 23:07
  Speaker 1: When you're talking about building and doing doing it as
• 23:10
  Speaker 1: with somebody in partnering in life, everybody is not able to.
• 23:16
  Speaker 1: So don't pre don't give yourself prequalifications for your frustration, Like,
• 23:21
  Speaker 1: don't pre qualify your interview the situation like is this
• 23:24
  Speaker 1: gonna work? If it's already stuff that you see and
• 23:26
  Speaker 1: you ain't even in the door yet, don't don't go
• 23:29
  Speaker 1: with it unless the Lord has assigned you for the
• 23:32
  Speaker 1: grace to manage that, don't go with that. The reason
• 23:34
  Speaker 1: why I'm confident about what Desiray and I are building
• 23:38
  Speaker 1: is because for one week the Lord gave just ask
• 23:42
  Speaker 1: to us.
• 23:42
  Speaker 2: First, right, DOESI Ray came in and enhanced the.
• 23:48
  Speaker 1: Mess out of just ass okay, the things that you see,
• 23:52
  Speaker 1: the quality that you see, Doesni Ray brought that?
• 23:54
  Speaker 2: You know?
• 23:54
  Speaker 1: I brought the vision, I brought the plan or whatever.
• 23:57
  Speaker 1: But a lot of things that you see was because
• 23:59
  Speaker 1: I partner with Desiree, right, and so or Desireate forced her.
• 24:04
  Speaker 2: Partnership for me.
• 24:05
  Speaker 1: That's kind of because for they.
• 24:10
  Speaker 2: It was a hard no. It was a hard no.
• 24:12
  Speaker 2: And so I think that.
• 24:16
  Speaker 1: One of the way the ways to open yourself up
• 24:20
  Speaker 1: to partnership and build in the building process is to
• 24:26
  Speaker 1: have an understanding of where you stand with that person
• 24:29
  Speaker 1: a right, because if if you're not in good standing
• 24:32
  Speaker 1: with that person, it's gonna be hard to manage what
• 24:37
  Speaker 1: you're building because everybody is not emotionally sound. That's that's
• 24:45
  Speaker 1: that's that's correct. Everybody's not emotionally sound. I could have
• 24:49
  Speaker 1: never asked Desiree. Now, Desiree and I have known people
• 24:52
  Speaker 1: we've been prophesied to together and people not even know
• 24:56
  Speaker 1: that this was a thing. All right, and it would
• 25:00
  Speaker 1: be the same word. We literally don't let us go
• 25:03
  Speaker 1: to the also together. It's the same we were sides,
• 25:07
  Speaker 1: it ain't we're standing beside each other.
• 25:09
  Speaker 2: Now, can we get the same happened?
• 25:11
  Speaker 1: I know at least twice the same word Okay, I'm
• 25:14
  Speaker 1: I'm ready for them seven figures, the absolute same word.
• 25:21
  Speaker 2: We owe some folks seed when this word come come and.
• 25:28
  Speaker 1: With with that, we we know the word is there.
• 25:33
  Speaker 1: We knew that we were able to build together. But
• 25:37
  Speaker 1: I also know and think that what has also happened.
• 25:41
  Speaker 1: DESIREE is that I'm I'm gonna put this out there.
• 25:45
  Speaker 1: I don't think I say this to you. I've been
• 25:48
  Speaker 1: the hold up.
• 25:49
  Speaker 2: MM.
• 25:50
  Speaker 1: The reason why I say I've been the hold up
• 25:53
  Speaker 1: is because I wasn't healed. I wasn't I was blinded
• 26:03
  Speaker 1: by distraction.
• 26:05
  Speaker 2: And I believe that.
• 26:11
  Speaker 1: The Lord would not allow me to be the version
• 26:16
  Speaker 1: I was because he loves you too. We couldn't do
• 26:21
  Speaker 1: what we're doing now and in this building process, as
• 26:26
  Speaker 1: we are venturing into LLC's other businesses, you know, buildings,
• 26:32
  Speaker 1: like we're doing some major things together.
• 26:37
  Speaker 2: I couldn't be that version of me that's good. I couldn't.
• 26:42
  Speaker 2: I couldn't manage.
• 26:43
  Speaker 1: I couldn't manage a desert ate that says, well, I
• 26:46
  Speaker 1: don't see what you're talking about, because I would have
• 26:48
  Speaker 1: been like, well, you just like everybody else you you
• 26:52
  Speaker 1: you don't, you don't see what I see. You you
• 26:55
  Speaker 1: don't like me for real, or you don't love me
• 26:57
  Speaker 1: for real, or maybe pacifying or are overlooking my frustration
• 27:01
  Speaker 1: of feelings or not communicating everything to you, like before
• 27:06
  Speaker 1: we have we're bringing this conversation you does rate know
• 27:08
  Speaker 1: that she irritated me. When I did that, I made
• 27:10
  Speaker 1: it very clear, like when she do certain stuff, I'd
• 27:12
  Speaker 1: be like, this, right, don't do that, like I don't
• 27:13
  Speaker 1: like it.
• 27:14
  Speaker 2: Can you please? I need this is what I need
• 27:17
  Speaker 2: right now. Can you give that to me?
• 27:18
  Speaker 1: I need you to give it to me. And then
• 27:19
  Speaker 1: sometimes I just let it go. I'm like, there you go,
• 27:22
  Speaker 1: you know, and she does the same to me. She's like,
• 27:24
  Speaker 1: I'm not gonna act like like it's this one sided.
• 27:28
  Speaker 1: But I think that healed version of me can manage
• 27:31
  Speaker 1: that part because in building, what I've noticed, especially the
• 27:36
  Speaker 1: project that we have right now, the specific project that we.
• 27:39
  Speaker 2: Have right now, has stretched both of us.
• 27:43
  Speaker 1: When I say from the north southeast and the west
• 27:46
  Speaker 1: now west, it has stretched both of us because we're
• 27:49
  Speaker 1: used to working in this capacity.
• 27:51
  Speaker 2: We're used to working and just aska, see we have
• 27:54
  Speaker 2: a flow.
• 27:54
  Speaker 1: It was like I already know kind of like the
• 27:57
  Speaker 1: ins and outs and do things. But when you're working
• 27:58
  Speaker 1: with someone new, like you have to understand that even
• 28:03
  Speaker 1: if you have a blueprint, Yeah, you can have a
• 28:04
  Speaker 1: blueprint a framework of the of of how you want
• 28:07
  Speaker 1: to flow. But because what we do is so customed
• 28:11
  Speaker 1: to the person like we also have to give space
• 28:14
  Speaker 1: for that person to also do the same thing, to
• 28:16
  Speaker 1: grow and to learn, because it's kind of the same thing.
• 28:19
  Speaker 2: It's it's all a vulnerable space.
• 28:21
  Speaker 1: Yeah, we all have to come in knowing that it's
• 28:23
  Speaker 1: a safe space and give each other as the client
• 28:27
  Speaker 1: and the talent, the space to to grow and expand
• 28:30
  Speaker 1: and to be okay with not being okay something. Yeah,
• 28:32
  Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. Yeah, it's definitely been an
• 28:36
  Speaker 1: interesting journey. But what I love is what I'm hearing
• 28:40
  Speaker 1: is why process is so important right once, especially when
• 28:46
  Speaker 1: you know you're supposed to be in a in a
• 28:48
  Speaker 1: covenant relationship, whether that's marriage or a partnership, of of
• 28:52
  Speaker 1: of business or whatever that looks like, is that you
• 28:56
  Speaker 1: have to know that you know that you're there, that
• 28:59
  Speaker 1: the law has put you there, because everything else it's
• 29:04
  Speaker 1: not like second nature.
• 29:05
  Speaker 2: But that's we gotta make the main thing the main thing.
• 29:07
  Speaker 1: And so as you journey and you say yes, like,
• 29:10
  Speaker 1: there's things that's gonna happen that the Lord uses to
• 29:13
  Speaker 1: heal to reveal, you know what I'm saying, to so
• 29:17
  Speaker 1: that you can be built into who you need to
• 29:19
  Speaker 1: be in order to maintain because he's.
• 29:21
  Speaker 2: Gonna show you that.
• 29:22
  Speaker 1: Yeah, right, You're like, oh yeah, I see the building
• 29:25
  Speaker 1: and all those things, right, But the truth is who
• 29:27
  Speaker 1: you are today won't be able to manage and maintain that, right.
• 29:31
  Speaker 1: So as we go there's there's processes of healing. There's
• 29:34
  Speaker 1: processes of revealing, Like he's revealed a lot. Like the
• 29:37
  Speaker 1: reason why I can I can sit here now and
• 29:41
  Speaker 1: really lean into this relationship is because I had to
• 29:43
  Speaker 1: go through a season or seemed like isolation. It seemed like,
• 29:46
  Speaker 1: you know, like dang, why everybody coming for me like that? Like,
• 29:50
  Speaker 1: and he's like been like picking scalps off of spaces
• 29:52
  Speaker 1: that I thought was healed and things like that. But
• 29:54
  Speaker 1: I've allowed him to do that, and I've allowed him
• 29:57
  Speaker 1: to really allow his love to healing those spaces that
• 30:01
  Speaker 1: were that was broken, you know what I'm saying a
• 30:02
  Speaker 1: lot of like that. And I know I've built up
• 30:05
  Speaker 1: a great exterior wall over the years of being so
• 30:08
  Speaker 1: independent and like that, but the truth is on the
• 30:10
  Speaker 1: other side, it was a broken little girl, and so
• 30:12
  Speaker 1: he's been you know, and I talk about it often
• 30:15
  Speaker 1: about Ben in the relationship with my dad, like my
• 30:17
  Speaker 1: earthly father. So now I can really see like my
• 30:20
  Speaker 1: heavenly Father for who he you know, really who he is.
• 30:23
  Speaker 1: And so I think that's just so important that.
• 30:26
  Speaker 2: The process.
• 30:27
  Speaker 1: We don't want to go through the process because the
• 30:28
  Speaker 1: process of healing sucks, really it really does, but it's
• 30:32
  Speaker 1: so needed for to reveal the better version. Like it
• 30:38
  Speaker 1: can be a woe is me, but woe is me
• 30:39
  Speaker 1: don't get paid.
• 30:41
  Speaker 2: Woe is me.
• 30:43
  Speaker 1: Woe is me doesn't allow David Chance, I love that
• 30:48
  Speaker 1: man of God. You hear me like, I'm so blessed
• 30:52
  Speaker 1: to be a part of his community and for him
• 30:55
  Speaker 1: to show his different avenues. And one of the things
• 30:57
  Speaker 1: that he said to us in a recent workshop was
• 31:02
  Speaker 1: he was like, you, you might not care about money
• 31:09
  Speaker 1: or whatever.
• 31:09
  Speaker 2: Money.
• 31:09
  Speaker 1: You might not be money driven, motive motivated, but you
• 31:11
  Speaker 1: got to figure out what motivates you because you need
• 31:14
  Speaker 1: money to get to do what you need to do.
• 31:18
  Speaker 1: And one of the examples he uses, he says, one
• 31:20
  Speaker 1: of his one of his goals now after seeing it happen,
• 31:24
  Speaker 1: is to build a church, Like to build a build
• 31:26
  Speaker 1: a church building. I don't think he wants to be
• 31:27
  Speaker 1: a pastor anything like that the building, but he wants
• 31:30
  Speaker 1: to hit that would be his offering, so the like
• 31:34
  Speaker 1: can you imagine that he was like he was talking
• 31:35
  Speaker 1: to somebody and they was just like, oh yeah.
• 31:39
  Speaker 2: He was like, I built this church for my church.
• 31:41
  Speaker 1: So they could have it to be the financial the
• 31:44
  Speaker 1: financial blessing. So you ain't got to raise no building
• 31:48
  Speaker 1: fund or anything. He said, you can't, you can't, He said,
• 31:51
  Speaker 1: I couldn't. I couldn't do that and have that vision
• 31:55
  Speaker 1: selling T shirts.
• 31:56
  Speaker 2: I had to do more. I had to charge people
• 31:58
  Speaker 2: more so I can offer more. Come on.
• 32:02
  Speaker 1: When he said that, I said, oh, okay, so I'm
• 32:07
  Speaker 1: gonna have to I am gonna have to charge because
• 32:09
  Speaker 1: I got I have to have something to offer, right.
• 32:13
  Speaker 2: I can't just be in my mind like okay, if
• 32:15
  Speaker 2: it's this.
• 32:16
  Speaker 3: No no no no no no.
• 32:18
  Speaker 1: And so in the same in that same breath, I
• 32:20
  Speaker 1: also have to be healed enough for the offering to
• 32:25
  Speaker 1: be able to be managed properly, right, because I'm a
• 32:30
  Speaker 1: natural giver. And so if I'm just going in and
• 32:34
  Speaker 1: think like I want to have to be able to
• 32:35
  Speaker 1: offer something, that I'll still be broke because I would
• 32:37
  Speaker 1: give everything away. And so I think that having a
• 32:41
  Speaker 1: balance and knowing that I need to be healed, I
• 32:44
  Speaker 1: need to be structured. I need to be sharpened. Let
• 32:47
  Speaker 1: me read this scripture because it did come come up.
• 32:52
  Speaker 1: Let me see it's Proverbs twenty seven seven and seventeen.
• 33:01
  Speaker 1: You guys, and y'all know, I love the Christian Standard
• 33:03
  Speaker 1: Version Bible. It says iron shoppings iron, and one person
• 33:09
  Speaker 1: sharpens another. Right, So when we think about iron shopping
• 33:13
  Speaker 1: and iron, we'll always throw that scripture out there. But
• 33:21
  Speaker 1: that process is a thank you, Holy Spirit. What I'm
• 33:24
  Speaker 1: hearing the Lord say is that process is loud. I
• 33:28
  Speaker 1: can imagine, like what I'm seeing right now, there are
• 33:30
  Speaker 1: sparks that come.
• 33:31
  Speaker 2: Out of it.
• 33:33
  Speaker 1: There are there are there are certain irritating things until
• 33:38
  Speaker 1: the iron is sharpened. But both of them got to
• 33:41
  Speaker 1: be shore Proverbs twenty seven seventeen. When you're going through
• 33:48
  Speaker 1: the process, don't allow the sound of the process. Don't
• 33:52
  Speaker 1: allow what you're seeing in the process to dictate your
• 33:57
  Speaker 1: you being sharpened or not right. Sometimes we get so
• 34:02
  Speaker 1: frustrated and so clouded and our judgment is off because
• 34:06
  Speaker 1: of what the experience and the noise and the calculations
• 34:12
  Speaker 1: and all that stuff like that, When the root of
• 34:14
  Speaker 1: it is that my goal is to be sharpened My
• 34:17
  Speaker 1: goal is to be my best self. My goal is
• 34:20
  Speaker 1: to be a millionaire. My goal is to be a billionaire.
• 34:22
  Speaker 1: My goal is to be the foinnancial flee. My goal
• 34:24
  Speaker 1: is to build this. My goal is to build that.
• 34:26
  Speaker 1: Whatever your goal is, that has to be the focus.
• 34:29
  Speaker 1: And whatever's happening outside of your focus is just a
• 34:34
  Speaker 1: part of the atmosphere that you're building. Like whatever is
• 34:39
  Speaker 1: going on, you have to zone in so much. I
• 34:42
  Speaker 1: have to zone in on the fact that this relationship
• 34:45
  Speaker 1: with does ray. It sharpens me, so I can't go nowhere.
• 34:50
  Speaker 1: If I want to be sharpen, I stay in this relationship.
• 34:54
  Speaker 1: But me leaving this relationship, me getting frustrated to the
• 34:57
  Speaker 1: point where I don't want to talk to her, Noma
• 34:58
  Speaker 1: me being mad because she said something that that that
• 35:01
  Speaker 1: kind of hurt. But I bet you I'm sharpened in
• 35:03
  Speaker 1: that place now like it benefits me. I don't have
• 35:08
  Speaker 1: to worry about being dull when I'm around Desiree and
• 35:11
  Speaker 1: so get We have to get over ourselves emotionally so
• 35:16
  Speaker 1: that we can build. We are too emotional, y'all, Thank
• 35:20
  Speaker 1: you Holy Spirit. We are too emotional about the things
• 35:24
  Speaker 1: of God. The thing of God is to build in
• 35:29
  Speaker 1: this season, and when we get our emotions wrapped up
• 35:35
  Speaker 1: in it, we can be passionate about I'm not saying
• 35:36
  Speaker 1: don't be passionate about it, but sometimes we like, well,
• 35:39
  Speaker 1: I feel like it don't matter. It don't really matter
• 35:41
  Speaker 1: how we feel. I can feel whatever way I want
• 35:43
  Speaker 1: to feel about desbray the Lord. If the Lord say, girl,
• 35:46
  Speaker 1: go talk to her caller. Y'all, y'all need to finish plan.
• 35:48
  Speaker 2: I need to do that.
• 35:50
  Speaker 1: I need to care about God more than I care
• 35:52
  Speaker 1: about my feelings. I need to care about the thought
• 35:55
  Speaker 1: of the Lord more than I care about my sadness.
• 35:58
  Speaker 1: Because guess what in the Word and I think it's
• 36:00
  Speaker 1: so in Psalms, it says that he's near to the
• 36:03
  Speaker 1: broken hearted. So God, while I'm building, I need you
• 36:05
  Speaker 1: to take care of my broken heart. If I'm gonna
• 36:07
  Speaker 1: focus on what you told me to do, you gotta
• 36:09
  Speaker 1: take care of my heart. You gotta take care of
• 36:12
  Speaker 1: my emotions. You gotta guard my heart. That's where watch
• 36:15
  Speaker 1: this trust comes in. That's where Truck see all these
• 36:20
  Speaker 1: things work together.
• 36:21
  Speaker 2: They really do. But sometimes we try to separate it,
• 36:24
  Speaker 2: but no, bring it together together. Bring bring it together.
• 36:27
  Speaker 2: That's wholeness.
• 36:29
  Speaker 1: Come on, somebody, that's wholeness. You over the shaking your
• 36:32
  Speaker 1: leg because the message version No, I'm sorry, I can't
• 36:36
  Speaker 1: help it. She apologized to me more on this on
• 36:38
  Speaker 1: this episode than she never apologized to me on her life. No,
• 36:41
  Speaker 1: but this is good because you talked about if you
• 36:43
  Speaker 1: think about everything that we go through, Yeah, it's it's
• 36:48
  Speaker 1: it's for something for some reason, and nine times out
• 36:50
  Speaker 1: of ten it's for your character, even like the uh,
• 36:53
  Speaker 1: I mean the passion. The passion translation of Proverbs twenty
• 36:57
  Speaker 1: seven and seventeen says it takes a grinding will to
• 37:00
  Speaker 1: sharpen a blade, and so one person sharpens the character
• 37:04
  Speaker 1: of another. Right, So that's exactly what happens. It's hey,
• 37:08
  Speaker 1: homegirl said something and I'm I'm offended, Well why why why? Right?
• 37:15
  Speaker 1: Instead of and I'm very this in this In this
• 37:17
  Speaker 1: last season, I've been very introspective of like, dang, why
• 37:21
  Speaker 1: why do I feel like that? Like why why did
• 37:23
  Speaker 1: that touch me like that? Because it's always a route
• 37:25
  Speaker 1: to the thing, and that's the thing that the Lord
• 37:27
  Speaker 1: wants to get to. So that's why you have to
• 37:28
  Speaker 1: stay in those relationships because it begins to cut down
• 37:31
  Speaker 1: its healing is a process, So it's not like a
• 37:33
  Speaker 1: like a hey, whoosh, poof now that it can't happen,
• 37:35
  Speaker 1: like he can't do some miracles and yeahs and won
• 37:37
  Speaker 1: doesn't do some things. But for the most part is
• 37:40
  Speaker 1: always still got to go through the journey and you're
• 37:42
  Speaker 1: not gonna know where you are in that process until
• 37:45
  Speaker 1: you're presented with the with an opportunity that's so good,
• 37:48
  Speaker 1: you know.
• 37:48
  Speaker 2: What I'm saying. So it's like, oh, I met this,
• 37:50
  Speaker 2: this the same girl. No kay, she don't say it
• 37:53
  Speaker 2: the same thing to me? Why she say that? I
• 37:57
  Speaker 2: could be in my feeling like that she always that it.
• 37:58
  Speaker 2: Now it could be like, what's the response?
• 38:00
  Speaker 1: Now?
• 38:01
  Speaker 2: What is your responsible she.
• 38:02
  Speaker 1: Said, because your response tells you where you are exactly
• 38:06
  Speaker 1: exactly where your response will tell you where you are.
• 38:08
  Speaker 2: Exactly where you are. And I think that's that's been
• 38:11
  Speaker 2: this journey.
• 38:11
  Speaker 1: It's like, you know, starting all like dang, But now
• 38:16
  Speaker 1: it's kind of like, hmm, how do I need to
• 38:19
  Speaker 1: preference this? I know, I know what her response is
• 38:21
  Speaker 1: going to be, I know what her her questions are
• 38:23
  Speaker 1: going to be, So how do I how do I
• 38:25
  Speaker 1: need to frame this? And I also have to still
• 38:27
  Speaker 1: be bold enough to tell you this, because what I
• 38:29
  Speaker 1: would do watch this. For people that are type A,
• 38:32
  Speaker 1: what I would do is try to either soften the
• 38:35
  Speaker 1: blow or I'll avoid telling her this is so good,
• 38:43
  Speaker 1: avoid telling her what I see because I don't want
• 38:46
  Speaker 1: her to feel like I don't value her.
• 38:49
  Speaker 2: But the real value is saying, hey, this is my perspective.
• 38:54
  Speaker 2: What do you think.
• 38:55
  Speaker 1: She might not like it at the moment, but watch
• 38:57
  Speaker 1: this my perspective, and our relationship has probably grown with
• 39:02
  Speaker 1: her amount of time that she's been at her church.
• 39:05
  Speaker 1: If she didn't have a Jessica, if she didn't have
• 39:08
  Speaker 1: a Jessica, she probably wouldn't be prepared for a pastor Land,
• 39:13
  Speaker 1: I mean a Pastor Gates.
• 39:14
  Speaker 2: Lord, let me not me, Sorry me, sorry me sorry.
• 39:23
  Speaker 1: When it came out, I was like, oh Jesus, let
• 39:26
  Speaker 1: me pastor Gates. But just saying like I'm not saying like,
• 39:31
  Speaker 1: oh my gosh, I'm just on the status of Pastor
• 39:33
  Speaker 1: Gates or because I honor the woman of God, she's
• 39:35
  Speaker 1: bad to the bone. I also know that I'm a
• 39:37
  Speaker 1: stepping store stone to somebody great like that, you know
• 39:40
  Speaker 1: what I'm saying. And so but also also and her
• 39:44
  Speaker 1: inquisitess has helped me be a better teacher to my
• 39:47
  Speaker 1: my students. Seven figure podcast community shout out to you guys.
• 39:51
  Speaker 1: They be watching up y'all. So when I'm teaching on Wednesdays,
• 39:58
  Speaker 1: I'm not getting as frustrated. But when people somebody don't
• 40:01
  Speaker 1: understand me, or somebody asking me questions and I'm like,
• 40:04
  Speaker 1: did I not just say that, I try to find
• 40:07
  Speaker 1: a different way of saying something, or I'll just read
• 40:12
  Speaker 1: the room and say, Okay, I see your face is
• 40:14
  Speaker 1: in a curiosity, mark, let me elaborate. So it's made
• 40:18
  Speaker 1: me a better in a different position.
• 40:21
  Speaker 2: So don't don't.
• 40:23
  Speaker 1: My encouragement for you guys is like, allow it to
• 40:28
  Speaker 1: happen because you'll see the fruit somewhere else to right.
• 40:32
  Speaker 1: You'll see what is being sharpen in one relationship, one
• 40:36
  Speaker 1: building process, one partnership to be sharper.
• 40:39
  Speaker 2: Now I'm more comforded than I'll be a good wife
• 40:41
  Speaker 2: because of this relationship. I really am.
• 40:44
  Speaker 1: Now she's gonna be amazing wife because she did she
• 40:45
  Speaker 1: would a relationship with me, Cause baby, I don't Jesus
• 40:49
  Speaker 1: shout out to my brother in law because Jesus, the
• 40:54
  Speaker 1: work that I have to.
• 40:55
  Speaker 2: Have to do so good. He's a blessed man. What
• 41:00
  Speaker 2: are your what are your final thoughts on this? No,
• 41:02
  Speaker 2: I love this.
• 41:02
  Speaker 1: I think you have to be honestly, It's just you
• 41:08
  Speaker 1: have to just be open to doing relationships that the
• 41:11
  Speaker 1: Lord wants you to do, because I think we're so
• 41:13
  Speaker 1: accustomed to choosing people and choosing friends, business partners, going
• 41:18
  Speaker 1: into things, you know what I'm saying, and then we
• 41:19
  Speaker 1: get hurt. Yeah, you know, and we get hurt and
• 41:23
  Speaker 1: you know, disappointed when people don't live up to the
• 41:25
  Speaker 1: standards that we thought they should, you know, and they
• 41:28
  Speaker 1: could probably have had the potential for that thing. But
• 41:31
  Speaker 1: it's like, in this season, I'm just very intentional about
• 41:36
  Speaker 1: seeking the Lord on everything just so and I've never
• 41:39
  Speaker 1: and that was never me as somebody who just get
• 41:41
  Speaker 1: the idea and just go at it. Like even when
• 41:42
  Speaker 1: it comes to like goals and things like that, it
• 41:44
  Speaker 1: was like, Ah, the Lord, I get an idea, I
• 41:47
  Speaker 1: just go for it. It was it was never like
• 41:50
  Speaker 1: it was I would go for it and it'd be like,
• 41:51
  Speaker 1: all right, Lord, this is what we're doing. Like it
• 41:53
  Speaker 1: was never like, hey, I got this idea, I see
• 41:56
  Speaker 1: this problem. This is a solution that has come to me.
• 41:58
  Speaker 1: What do you think about this?
• 41:59
  Speaker 2: Or how should move?
• 42:00
  Speaker 1: Like really going to the Lord with everything, because the
• 42:02
  Speaker 1: truth is what the Lord's sanctions, he covers that, you
• 42:06
  Speaker 1: know what I'm saying. So if he's if he's giving
• 42:08
  Speaker 1: you the idea, clearly you got the idea from somewhere, right,
• 42:11
  Speaker 1: so our responsibility is to take it back to him.
• 42:13
  Speaker 1: It's the same thing with relationships. It's like, hey, is
• 42:16
  Speaker 1: this a relationship that I'm supposed to be in?
• 42:18
  Speaker 2: Hey?
• 42:19
  Speaker 1: Is this a relationship that I'm supposed to be And
• 42:21
  Speaker 1: if it is, that means the if you know in
• 42:23
  Speaker 1: your heart that the Lord is like, hey, I need
• 42:25
  Speaker 1: y'all connect it. For whatever reason, you may not even
• 42:27
  Speaker 1: understand it because two three some years ago, I ain't
• 42:30
  Speaker 1: know I barely knew anything about podcasts, and I had
• 42:33
  Speaker 1: a camera and a.
• 42:34
  Speaker 2: Little road mike.
• 42:36
  Speaker 1: I had no idea, no idea like what the Lord
• 42:39
  Speaker 1: was really wanted to do. But because we said yes
• 42:41
  Speaker 1: and we have stuck and stayed even through head budton
• 42:44
  Speaker 1: and frustrations all those things, now I can I can
• 42:46
  Speaker 1: see a bigger, a bigger bit of the vision, you
• 42:50
  Speaker 1: know what I'm saying, And So it's just important to
• 42:51
  Speaker 1: know that what the Lord sanctions, he covers that's so good,
• 42:56
  Speaker 1: and he has you in that relationship for a reason.
• 42:59
  Speaker 2: We just have to be open to it.
• 43:00
  Speaker 1: Yeah, And you have to be open to the ups
• 43:02
  Speaker 1: and the downs and the ebbs and flows and things
• 43:04
  Speaker 1: like that. The truth of the matter is, I'm only
• 43:06
  Speaker 1: responsible for me, right, So if I know I'm supposed
• 43:09
  Speaker 1: to be here, then I'm responsible for what the process
• 43:11
  Speaker 1: supposed to look like for me, and I just have
• 43:13
  Speaker 1: to trust the Lord that the same is happening on
• 43:16
  Speaker 1: the other side. I think that's also where some of
• 43:17
  Speaker 1: the frustration comes in, that is when it's like, hey,
• 43:19
  Speaker 1: I'm doing all these things, I'm growing, but also and
• 43:21
  Speaker 1: you really don't see the inside of what's happening. Like
• 43:24
  Speaker 1: everybody grows at different rates every you know, if you
• 43:27
  Speaker 1: think about like you could plant two plants in the
• 43:29
  Speaker 1: ground and like there and you can watch their roots.
• 43:32
  Speaker 1: One one root could be growing quicker and pop up, yeah, faster.
• 43:35
  Speaker 2: Than the other one. That doesn't mean it's wrong or
• 43:37
  Speaker 2: it's anything like that.
• 43:38
  Speaker 1: It's just everybody has their own process, you know, And
• 43:41
  Speaker 1: so just be open again, just be open to the
• 43:45
  Speaker 1: relationships that the Lord wants you to be connected.
• 43:47
  Speaker 2: To because it's always it's always going to be a
• 43:50
  Speaker 2: bigger picture, always always that that was good. Oh you
• 43:55
  Speaker 2: had a little oil there.
• 43:57
  Speaker 1: I mean the oil came out, y'all, this has been good.
• 44:03
  Speaker 1: It was one point, once upon a time I had
• 44:06
  Speaker 1: to beg there's a ray just to be on the mic.
• 44:08
  Speaker 1: I didn't even ask her to be on the camera.
• 44:09
  Speaker 1: I asked her be on the mic. So to see
• 44:10
  Speaker 1: her here and continuously showing up. She don't fight me
• 44:15
  Speaker 1: on stuff anymore. I'll bus and say pray. Oh and
• 44:20
  Speaker 1: if y'all didn't notice, Desertraate doesn't have her braces on anymore.
• 44:24
  Speaker 1: She is the work has been Doneah, the work of
• 44:31
  Speaker 1: the Lord has been completed.
• 44:33
  Speaker 2: Okay, so glory, hallelujah. Not that I was counting nothing,
• 44:40
  Speaker 2: but hey, yeah, I forgot to tell them that got
• 44:45
  Speaker 2: them off.
• 44:45
  Speaker 1: But yeah, I'm really proud of us. I'm proud of us.
• 44:51
  Speaker 1: I'm proud that we went to God about each other.
• 44:56
  Speaker 1: And I think that's one thing I want to think,
• 44:59
  Speaker 1: the no that I want to end on.
• 45:03
  Speaker 2: Go to God.
• 45:03
  Speaker 1: But before you go to God, before you go to
• 45:06
  Speaker 1: each other in frustration, go to God about that person.
• 45:10
  Speaker 1: And what God will do is reveal you to you first,
• 45:15
  Speaker 1: and then while he's revealing you to you, he's revealing
• 45:19
  Speaker 1: them to them. And as you're being altered by God,
• 45:23
  Speaker 1: God is altering you to visualize the situation differently. And
• 45:27
  Speaker 1: so don't be afraid of partnerships as you're building, Like,
• 45:31
  Speaker 1: as long as you're doing them in God, they're going
• 45:34
  Speaker 1: to be of God.
• 45:36
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 45:36
  Speaker 1: God is not going to let something happen that's not
• 45:39
  Speaker 1: supposed to happen if you allow Him to be God
• 45:42
  Speaker 1: in your life. Right. And so our prayer is that whoever,
• 45:46
  Speaker 1: if you have a partner that you know you're supposed
• 45:48
  Speaker 1: to be building with, send them this video. Send it
• 45:51
  Speaker 1: to them, allow them to see the work of partnership,
• 45:54
  Speaker 1: just as is the best example you could probably give them.
• 45:57
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 45:58
  Speaker 1: Also, if you're looking to partner with some community members,
• 46:02
  Speaker 1: we have room in the Safe Space for you. We
• 46:04
  Speaker 1: meet every Monday. Okay, we're building together, we're reading books.
• 46:09
  Speaker 1: We have a retreat coming up in June that we're
• 46:12
  Speaker 1: doing with kind of the many treats. So we're doing
• 46:14
  Speaker 1: too many treats this year. Our first one is in
• 46:17
  Speaker 1: June and it's still focused on the builder. Right. We
• 46:20
  Speaker 1: are solidifying locations, all that stuff, but the only people
• 46:24
  Speaker 1: that get that is the people are the people in
• 46:26
  Speaker 1: the safe space. Nineteen ninety five of a month. Feel
• 46:29
  Speaker 1: free to join the Lincolns in the bio We love
• 46:32
  Speaker 1: you over here, just as the podcast, and remember until
• 46:36
  Speaker 1: next time. Until next week, life could be much more
• 46:39
  Speaker 1: simple if you just ask.
• 46:47
  Speaker 2: Thank you for tuning in to this week's episode.
• 46:49
  Speaker 1: Since you've made it this far, you might as well
• 46:52
  Speaker 1: connect with us on all social media platforms at the
• 46:55
  Speaker 1: Jessica S.
• 46:55
  Speaker 2: Smith. I know I won't see you back until next week.
• 47:00
  Speaker 1: Until then, remember to love always yourself and always thank.
• 47:06
  Speaker 3: Thank God for one another day. Hey, hey, I know
• 47:12
  Speaker 3: we could be another way. Hey, pray thank God for
• 47:18
  Speaker 3: another day. Hey hey, I'm just thankful another day. Hey
• 47:27
  Speaker 3: hey another day? Oh, another day? Wise, another day to
• 47:31
  Speaker 3: get it right, another day to rise up, another day
• 47:34
  Speaker 3: living another day. We loved ones. I always remember hold
• 47:37
  Speaker 3: it down for a ball one ye