Latest / ADU Adventures: Building in Your Backyard / Fertile Ground for ADUs: What Caring for Our Parents Really Costs In San Gabriel, CA | ADU Adventures EP014

Transcript

Fertile Ground for ADUs: What Caring for Our Parents Really Costs In San Gabriel, CA | ADU Adventures EP014 · ADU Adventures: Building in Your Backyard

• 0:32
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome back to ADU Adventures Building in the Backyard.
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_00: I'm James, and today we're staying in San Gabriel Valley, in the city of San Gabriel, actually.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_00: And we're going to talk about one of the most expensive questions in American family life.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_00: Not the mortgage, not college, the question of what happens when someone we love needs care.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_00: And I want to start this one with a story from my own family, because this topic isn't abstract for us.
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_00: Long before I knew anything about ATUs, my wife left the San Gabriel Valley where she grew up and moved north to Los Altos in the San Francisco Bay Area.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_00: Her first job there was caring for an elderly man.
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_00: A delightful gentleman, by every account.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_00: Sharp company, good stories, the kind of person you're better for knowing.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_00: But his health and his wellness were in a natural, gentle decline, the way it comes for so many of us.
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_00: She didn't just clock in and clock out.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_00: She shared the house with him.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_00: She was there in the mornings and the evenings, providing support, keeping him company, keeping life running.
• 1:41
  SPEAKER_00: And that's actually the chapter of her life when she and I met.
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_00: Eventually, though, the house itself became the problem.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_00: Not the care and not the relationship, the house.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_00: It simply wasn't built for what his body needed anymore.
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_00: And so he moved into a care facility, a place that was more ideally set up for aging.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_00: It was the right call given the options on the table.
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_00: But here's the thing my wife still says.
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_00: All these years later, now that we've spent our careers around backyard homes, she wonders how an ADU would have changed that living arrangement.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_00: A friendlier footprint, a home designed around aging from the very first sketch.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_00: Zero steps, wide doorways, a bathroom built for safety instead of retrofitted for it, with an ADU would he have been able to stay?
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_00: With the connectivity, the shared mornings, the company, the feeling of being home, would that have lasted longer?
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_00: We can't rewind and find out.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_00: But you listening right now might be a few years away from asking the exact question about your own mom or dad.
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_00: And unlike us back then, you get to ask it before the moment arrives.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_00: So here's the map for today.
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_00: First, some history, because San Gabriel's origin story is, I promise you, the perfect metaphor for this entire episode.
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_00: Second, the math nobody wants to do at the kitchen table.
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_00: What care actually costs in this country, with real numbers from the most comprehensive survey there is.
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_00: And third, the alternative, what it looks like to build care into your own backyard, designed for the day after tomorrow, and why a home built well enough for your mother turns out to be built well enough for everything and everyone that comes after.
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_00: So let's dive in.
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_00: First off, fertile ground, the valley that fed California and still does.
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_00: If you know one thing about San Gabriel, it's probably the mission, founded in 1771, the fourth of California's twenty one missions, and the reason the city calls itself the birthplace of the Los Angeles region.
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_00: But there's a chapter of that story most people have never heard.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_00: And it's one I want to tell today.
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_00: Because San Gabriel isn't just where the region began.
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_00: It's where California first learned how to make a small piece of ground carry generations.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_00: Here's the story.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_00: The Spanish missionaries brought grape vines north with them, and historians credit Mission San Juan Capistrano with planting California's first vineyard in 1779.
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_00: But it was San Gabriel where the vine truly took hold.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_00: According to the Homestead Museum and the City of Industry, which preserves this era of local history, Mission San Gabriel became the largest and most successful winery of the entire mission system.
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_00: By the time the mission era ended, San Gabriel had more than 16,000 grape vines and a reputation for making the best wine of all the twenty one missions.
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_00: Its great vineyard, about 200 acres, was called Vigna Madre, the mother vineyard, and that name was earned.
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_00: Cuttings from San Gabriel's vines were sent out across California, seeding vineyards up and down the state.
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_00: One historical account of mission life records that at its peak, San Gabriel ran three wine presses and eight brandy stills, producing 9,000 gallons of wine and 3,000 gallons of brandy in its best years.
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_00: More than any other mission, there's even a wine that carries the connection to its name, Angelica, the sweet fortified wine the Padres made, is named from Mission San Gabriel, Archangel itself.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_00: In other words, the California wine industry, the one that's worth tens of billions of dollars today, traces its roots through a few hundred acres of San Gabriel dirt.
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_00: And here's my favorite part.
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_00: The part that gave me chills when I found out.
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_00: The mother vine is still alive.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_00: There's a grapevine at Mission San Gabriel, believed to be roughly 250 years old, thought to be the oldest in Los Angeles County and possibly beyond.
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_00: It still produces fruit.
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_00: And just this past year, as ABC 7 reported, local vinters used its grapes to make a limited edition wine.
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_00: The vine planted when the American Revolution was still being fought, still bearing fruit, still giving, a quarter of a millennium later.
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_00: Now, why am I telling you all this in an episode about caring for your parents and accessory dwelling units?
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_00: Because look at who tends this ground today.
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_00: The San Gabriel of 2026 is one of the most vibrant communities in America.
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_00: Roughly six in ten residents are Asian American, and about a quarter are Latino, according to the U.S.
• 6:36
  SPEAKER_00: census estimates.
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_00: And the city sits at the heart of a valley that immigrant families have been remaking for two generations.
• 6:43
  SPEAKER_00: Valley Boulevard runs through it like a main artery, one of the great food and commerce corridors anywhere in the country, lined with family restaurants, family shops, family everything.
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_00: People drive from all over Southern California to eat in San Gabriel.
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_00: The people who live there just call it the neighborhood.
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_00: And underneath all that energy is a way of organizing family life that the rest of the country is only now rediscovering.
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_00: In the San Gabriel Valley, generations pool their strength.
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_00: Grandparents help raise the grandkids while the parents run the family business.
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_00: Adult children stay close while they build their careers.
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_00: The household isn't a launching pad you leave at 18.
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_00: It's an ongoing project everyone contributes to.
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_00: And the math makes that wisdom necessary as well as beautiful.
• 7:31
  SPEAKER_00: Redfin puts San Gabriel's median sale price around$1.2 million, with the median household income per US news is about$92,643.
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_00: Families here have always had to make their ground work hard.
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_00: They're very, very good at it.
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_00: So when I say San Gabriel's founding story is cultivation, I mean it hasn't stopped.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_00: The crop changed, the instinct didn't.
• 8:01
  SPEAKER_00: Because the question in front of thousands of San Gabriel Valley families right now is whether the modest piece of ground behind their own house can do one more generation's worth of work, caring for the people who spent their lives caring for us.
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_00: Now the most expensive question in family life.
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_00: Let's talk about the moment.
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_00: If you haven't lived it yet, you probably will.
• 8:25
  SPEAKER_00: There's a phone call or a fall, or a diagnosis, or just a small accumulation of little worries, and suddenly the family is having a conversation.
• 8:37
  SPEAKER_00: Mom can't really be on her own anymore.
• 8:40
  SPEAKER_00: Dad needs someone closer.
• 8:42
  SPEAKER_00: What do we do?
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_00: For most families, the default answers come in two flavors bring in care or move them into care.
• 8:49
  SPEAKER_00: And I want to walk you through what those actually cost.
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_00: Because the numbers are bigger than most people realize, and they come from the most comprehensive source there is, the cost of care survey published by Genworth and CareScout, which collects tens of thousands of provider rates across the country every year.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_00: Here's what the 2024 survey found.
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_00: The national median cost of an assisted living community is now$70,800 per year.
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_00: And that figure jumped 10% in a single year.
• 9:25
  SPEAKER_00: A home health aid, someone providing hands-on help with bathing, dressing, and eating, runs a national median of$77,800 per year.
• 9:36
  SPEAKER_00: A semi private room in a nursing home is$111,000 per year.
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_00: A private room is$127,000 per year.
• 9:48
  SPEAKER_00: And the 2025 survey adds one more.
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_00: At the median rate of$35 an hour, a non-medical caregiver working 44 hours a week costs about$80,000 a year.
• 10:02
  SPEAKER_00: One more thing before you do any mental math.
• 10:05
  SPEAKER_00: Those are national medians.
• 10:07
  SPEAKER_00: Genworth's own state analysis puts California's long-term care costs above the national average.
• 10:15
  SPEAKER_00: So here in San Gabriel Valley, you should assume the real number is higher.
• 10:20
  SPEAKER_00: Now to do the arithmetic that families actually live, take just the assisted living median,$70,800 a year.
• 10:29
  SPEAKER_00: Three years is over$212,000.
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_00: Five years is over$354,000, and these costs have been rising much faster than inflation.
• 10:41
  SPEAKER_00: That's the money side.
• 10:42
  SPEAKER_00: But here's the part that matters even more.
• 10:45
  SPEAKER_00: At the end of those five years, the family owns nothing.
• 10:48
  SPEAKER_00: Every dollar is spent.
• 10:49
  SPEAKER_00: It's rent in the most painful sense of the word.
• 10:53
  SPEAKER_00: Compare the structure, not just the price.
• 10:57
  SPEAKER_00: An ADU is built.
• 10:59
  SPEAKER_00: It's a permanent second home on land you already own.
• 11:03
  SPEAKER_00: It houses mom or dad for as long as it can, and then it keeps serving your family for decades.
• 11:08
  SPEAKER_00: A home for an adult child, a rental, a place for when it's your turn to be the one to age in place.
• 11:16
  SPEAKER_00: One path spends the family's resources on care, the other converts them into care and keeps the asset.
• 11:24
  SPEAKER_00: And here's the part that should ease the biggest hesitation about writing that check.
• 11:29
  SPEAKER_00: A great ADU is never just for the elderly, because your family is never just one moment in time.
• 11:37
  SPEAKER_00: The home you build for your mother has a whole life ahead of it.
• 11:41
  SPEAKER_00: The home you build for your mom has a whole life ahead of it.
• 11:45
  SPEAKER_00: When its first chapter ends, it becomes a launch pad for a daughter, a home office, a rental producing steady income in one of the strongest rental markets in the region.
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_00: And someday the home you move into yourself, already designed for the aging you'll do yourself.
• 12:04
  SPEAKER_00: In a valley where families have always made their ground do more than one job.
• 12:10
  SPEAKER_00: This is a building that does them all in a sequence for decades at a time.
• 12:16
  SPEAKER_00: One note on that rental chapter, and I'll keep it brief because this isn't the money episode.
• 12:23
  SPEAKER_00: Um I want to talk about how quality is what carries value across all of those lives.
• 12:29
  SPEAKER_00: The same things that make a home right for your mother, real comfort, real privacy, genuine livability, are exactly what good long-term tenants look for and pay for.
• 12:43
  SPEAKER_00: And appraisal guidance on ADUs ties a unit's value directly to the income it can produce.
• 12:50
  SPEAKER_00: So the standard isn't a splurge.
• 12:53
  SPEAKER_00: Build the version you'd be proud to house your own family in, and it lives better, earns more, and grows in value, all from the same design decisions.
• 13:03
  SPEAKER_00: If you cheap out and it underperforms at every stage, that's not a sales pitch.
• 13:09
  SPEAKER_00: It's just how the asset works.
• 13:12
  SPEAKER_00: And it turns out this isn't a niche idea, it's what older adults themselves are asking for.
• 13:18
  SPEAKER_00: AARP's 2024 Home and Community Preference Survey found that 75% of adults 50 and older want to remain in their homes as they age.
• 13:30
  SPEAKER_00: Nearly two-thirds, 64%, say they would consider living in an ADU to be close to someone while keeping their independence.
• 13:38
  SPEAKER_00: And one in four older homeowners say they would consider building an ADU for a loved one who needs care.
• 13:45
  SPEAKER_00: Think about those numbers.
• 13:47
  SPEAKER_00: The generation we're talking about isn't asking to be placed somewhere nice.
• 13:52
  SPEAKER_00: They're telling us in the largest survey we have that they want exactly the arrangement a backyard home provides.
• 14:00
  SPEAKER_00: Close, independent, connected, but still dignified.
• 14:04
  SPEAKER_00: Now, one honest boundary, and I need you to hear it because this show doesn't just tell fantasies.
• 14:11
  SPEAKER_00: Some conditions genuinely require skilled care, and no family home can provide it.
• 14:17
  SPEAKER_00: Around the clock nursing, advanced memory care, and when that day comes, a good facility is a blessing, not a failure.
• 14:25
  SPEAKER_00: I watched that reality in my own family story, the gentleman my wife cared for, did eventually need a place built for a level of care that a regular house could not offer.
• 14:38
  SPEAKER_00: Nothing I say today can change that.
• 14:41
  SPEAKER_00: And it's very important.
• 14:42
  SPEAKER_00: But here's what our story taught us and what I want to take away, because this is something that we think about all the time.
• 14:48
  SPEAKER_00: The threshold, the the point at which a home stops working and a facility becomes the only option is not fixed.
• 14:57
  SPEAKER_00: It's a design variable.
• 14:59
  SPEAKER_00: Most older houses or houses today fail an aging body years before the body actually needs skilled care.
• 15:07
  SPEAKER_00: They fail at the front step, the narrow bathroom door, the tub wall, the stairs, which means for a lot of families, the move to a facility happens not because the person needed institutional care, but because the house gave out before they did.
• 15:24
  SPEAKER_00: An ADU designed for aging from day one moves that threshold years further out.
• 15:32
  SPEAKER_00: And those years, the ones spent 30 feet away instead of 30 minutes, are the whole point of this exercise.
• 15:40
  SPEAKER_00: So designing for the day after tomorrow, what does it actually mean to design a home around aging?
• 15:48
  SPEAKER_00: Let me get concrete, because this is where the difference between a backyard unit and a purpose-built aging-in-place home really lives.
• 16:00
  SPEAKER_00: Let's start with the arithmetic of the American housing stock.
• 16:04
  SPEAKER_00: AARP's survey found that among older adults planning to stay in their homes, 72% anticipate needing modifications like grab bars, and 71% expect entry changes just to make their existing house survivable.
• 16:22
  SPEAKER_00: Think about what that actually means.
• 16:24
  SPEAKER_00: It means that nearly three-quarters of the homes this generation is currently living in were never designed for the bodies that would age inside them.
• 16:33
  SPEAKER_00: Everything is a retrofit.
• 16:35
  SPEAKER_00: Everything is a compromise with a floor plan drawn for somebody who's 35.
• 16:41
  SPEAKER_00: An ADU completely flips that.
• 16:43
  SPEAKER_00: It's the one home your family will ever own where aging can be in the blueprint before the first shovel ever hits the ground.
• 16:50
  SPEAKER_00: Zero step entry, so the front door never becomes a wall.
• 16:54
  SPEAKER_00: Doorways wide enough for a walker or wheelchair.
• 16:58
  SPEAKER_00: Not because anybody needs one today, but because good design doesn't wait for the emergency.
• 17:04
  SPEAKER_00: A curbless shower with a built-in bench, so the single most dangerous room in an older adult's house becomes one of the safest.
• 17:12
  SPEAKER_00: Lever handles instead of knobs for hands that will someday have arthritis.
• 17:19
  SPEAKER_00: Everything on one level by definition, because a detached ADU has no second floor to become forbidden territory.
• 17:27
  SPEAKER_00: Now, that's not to say an ADU can't be two-story, but we're talking about aging in place.
• 17:33
  SPEAKER_00: And one story is a lot more livable because, hey, stairs.
• 17:39
  SPEAKER_00: And there's light everywhere, because aging eyes need more of it.
• 17:43
  SPEAKER_00: And because a bright home is a home you want to wake up in.
• 17:47
  SPEAKER_00: And then there's the design feature no facility at any price can offer.
• 17:51
  SPEAKER_00: The big one, the major design feature.
• 17:54
  SPEAKER_00: And that is the proximity to the people you love.
• 17:58
  SPEAKER_00: When mom is thirty feet away, care stops being a scheduled visit and becomes a texture of daily life.
• 18:05
  SPEAKER_00: The grandkids wander over after school, dinner is a walk across the yard, not a drive across town.
• 18:12
  SPEAKER_00: Someone notices the small things early, the new unsteadiness, the missed medication, the quiet day, because noticing is what families do when they're close enough to notice.
• 18:24
  SPEAKER_00: That's not sentiment, that's care infrastructure.
• 18:27
  SPEAKER_00: And it's the exact thing that was lost when the footprint of that house was forced to move.
• 18:34
  SPEAKER_00: The families of San Gabriel Valley have understood this instinctively for generations.
• 18:39
  SPEAKER_00: What's changed is that the design and the law and the industry have finally caught up.
• 18:45
  SPEAKER_00: So the instinct can be built properly.
• 18:48
  SPEAKER_00: And that's the heart of it.
• 18:49
  SPEAKER_00: The question my wife still asks.
• 18:52
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm gonna come back to where we started.
• 18:54
  SPEAKER_00: When my wife talks about that chapter in her life, the Los Altos years, the gentleman she cared for who bless his heart is now gone.
• 19:03
  SPEAKER_00: She doesn't talk about the tasks.
• 19:06
  SPEAKER_00: What stays with her is that companionship, the shared house, the connection with his family, the daily rhythm of two people generations apart, keeping each other company while one of them navigated the hardest transition there is.
• 19:20
  SPEAKER_00: And what stays with her most is that one question.
• 19:23
  SPEAKER_00: When the move to the facility came, it wasn't because the care had failed or the relationship had failed.
• 19:30
  SPEAKER_00: The house had failed.
• 19:31
  SPEAKER_00: And she wonders with everything we know now, everything we've now spent years building for our own families.
• 19:39
  SPEAKER_00: What if there had been a small home on that property designed for exactly what his body was going through?
• 19:45
  SPEAKER_00: How many more mornings of that connectivity would there have been?
• 19:49
  SPEAKER_00: That question is why this episode exists.
• 19:51
  SPEAKER_00: And honestly, it's a piece of why we do what we do.
• 19:55
  SPEAKER_00: Because at Acton EDU, we talk about family integrity planning, and I am always going to talk about this because I'm passionate about it.
• 20:03
  SPEAKER_00: The idea that your property can be deliberately shaped to serve your family's story across generations is a really important one.
• 20:11
  SPEAKER_00: And I'll tell you what I've come to believe caring for a parent is the deepest form that idea ever takes.
• 20:21
  SPEAKER_00: It's one thing to plan a space for a growing family, but it's another thing entirely to look at the people who raised you, who carried you, and to build them a home where their last chapters can be lived in dignity, in comfort, and close to the people they love.
• 20:39
  SPEAKER_00: San Gabriel Valley's oldest resident is a grapevine that has been giving for two hundred and fifty years because someone planted it with intention on a small piece of good ground.
• 20:54
  SPEAKER_00: Your backyard is a small piece of good ground, and I say plant something that gives back.
• 21:00
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for listening today.
• 21:02
  SPEAKER_00: If today's episode landed close to home, maybe because that phone call has already come, or because you can feel it coming, I want you to know that thinking about this early is the single greatest gift you can give your family.
• 21:16
  SPEAKER_00: The worst time to design for aging is during an emergency.
• 21:21
  SPEAKER_00: The best time is when things are looking bright.
• 21:24
  SPEAKER_00: Acton ADU has been building for more than 35 years.
• 21:28
  SPEAKER_00: We don't just build ADUs, we build homes that last and legacies, family first, transparent, and no surprises.
• 21:36
  SPEAKER_00: If you're ready to explore what's possible, visit ActonADU.com or give us a call for a free consultation.
• 21:42
  SPEAKER_00: A few quick reminders.
• 21:44
  SPEAKER_00: Nothing in this episode is financial or medical advice.
• 21:48
  SPEAKER_00: Care costs vary by location, of course, and by need.
• 21:52
  SPEAKER_00: So treat the figures we discussed as the national medians I shared from a survey, and get local numbers for your own planning.
• 22:01
  SPEAKER_00: And decisions about a loved one's care should always involve their doctor and wherever possible the person themselves.
• 22:08
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for listening.
• 22:10
  SPEAKER_00: And to everyone out there who's caring for someone right now, the way my wife did, what you're doing matters more than any square footage ever will.
• 22:20
  SPEAKER_00: I'm James, and this has been ADU Adventures Building in the Backyard.
• 22:24
  SPEAKER_00: I'll see you around.