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Hope in waiting · Fostering Faith

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  Welcome back to Fostering Faith. And so I am your host Tracy Foster and we are here
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  and we're going to be discussing something that we're actually walking through in real
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  time. And that's what we are here to be about in Fostering Faith. And so we are people that
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  go through real life situations and we are fostering our faith and it's about going through
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  life together. And so welcome in to Fostering Faith if you've not joined us. My name is
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  Tracy and Gia is actually upstairs studying for her constitution test. And so she will
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  not be joining us on this episode and we're going to be talking about a situation that
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  everyone here will experience. And I am a nurse practitioner and I was a staff nurse
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  in a hospital for many, many years. And the one thing in medicine that I can tell you
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  that will happen 100% of the time is that you will die. We all will die eventually,
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  some sooner than later, some tomorrow. And it is unknown that there's only one person
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  that knows when he has written the last minute, the last breath that you'll take. And so as
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  we walk through this episode, it is called Silence to Sorrow. And we're going to journey
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  together in the raw terrain of loss and grief. And sometimes we recognize that the pain is
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  so heavy that words don't even describe it and it's just silence. And God's love speaks
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  to us. And so as we are walking through a season right now, as we just lost my aunt,
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  it is been a ride for many years as her spirit and her body has had to fight cancer multiple
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  times. And just her presence of what she's allowed us to walk with her through and just
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  her love of Jesus, even in the last two weeks of her life, has really just inspired me even
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  more. And so as a bit of a serious tone, and so we are walking through a bit of grief in
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  our family as we have lost my aunt this previous weekend, she lost her battle to cancer, but
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  she gained her wings and she is where she needs to be at home. And so as I walk through
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  this journey with you, I just wanted to remind you of some couple of scriptures. And so we
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  have Psalm 34, 18, it says the Lord is close to the brokenhearted and James 1, 2 through
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  4, it says, computer pure joy whenever we face trials of many kinds. And as we walked
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  into this journey together, me and her, we originally we prayed and fast for her original
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  diagnosis and it was, we felt very clear that the Lord said that she was healed and it was
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  she's healed. And so she had liver cancer and it was, she had one round of chemo and
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  she told her doctor, she's like, I'm healed, I'm cancer free. And they're like, no, you
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  know, like it's, no, it's not. And so like, she's like, give me a scan, like I know, like
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  I, this is what I heard. And they scanned her and what had appeared in the first scan
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  was no longer there. And it was like, that's what we, that's what we felt, that's what
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  we knew. And it was such a remarkable testimony. And as life went on, months went by and she
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  developed a new cancer, a new, another primary, and she was treated for that. And just everything
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  kind of kept snowballing into different areas where we really had no control over and her
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  body wasn't accepting the chemo and the radiation from the other cancers that came in. But she
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  had, she held high. She was like, either I get healed here on earth or I get to go see
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  Jesus. So either way I win. And so her head was always high. She volunteered at the hospital
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  and was able to just bring light and joy across the community because even though she's, you
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  know, battling cancer, she's still showing up to volunteer. She's still showing up to
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  serve. She's still going to church. She's still doing all of her grandma duties. She's
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  tending to her husband that has been ill, making sure that he's going to his appointments
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  and just still being the person that God created her to be. And so even in her disappointments,
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  she still praised him. She still showed up every day. And I think that is what has I've
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  seen time and time again in so many different patients that have been in the same situation,
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  their mindset, their attitude of my God and that he is going to get us through this. And
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  that is what has kept them going month after month after month. And it's so, it's just
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  a such a great testimony to be in the presence of these people that have fought and battled
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  their cancer with God right by their side. And as you get to see that from the perspective
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  of a provider as a perspective of a family member, it really is just a great testimony
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  to see someone's true faith in the midst of a storm and they don't waiver. And so you
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  have John 11, 25 through 26, and it says, Jesus's word is the beginning, the resurrection
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  of life. And you have first Thessalonians 4, 13 through 14, it says, assurance of death
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  is not the end for believers. And so we would sit on her deck many days and just talk about
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  scripture and life and just the power of the word and just what we were walking through
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  in scripture together and just exploring the fact that she had nothing to be afraid of
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  because she knew where she was going because she has accepted Jesus as her Lord and savior.
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  And there is, he's already defeated death for us. And so we really have nothing to fear.
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  And so whenever we face loss, God's humor is evident like in the angels and the punchlines
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  in heaven and about having humor in the midst of everything. And so it's about having that
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  serious moment. But if you have a believer that is transitioning through cancer or whatever
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  it may have you, I mean, we found humor even on her hospice days, she would be laying in
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  bed and I would come over every morning and we would get up, we would worship, we would
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  have church, whatever song that she wanted to sing. And it would be like, you know, I
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  would do lotion, we'd give a bath and I would say, you know, like, oh my gosh, I have a
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  new scrub brush. And I was like, it really just kind of rips off your skin, but it feels
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  so good. And like she would just, she would laugh about it or I'd come in and like, oh
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  my gosh, let's read about Lazarus. And she would just like, no, no, we're not doing that
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  today. And so we just kept it, you know, lighthearted, but cheerful because a Proverb 17 really says
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  a cheerful heart is good medicine. And so as we walk through, you know, the end stages
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  of life and it's still okay to be positive and it's still okay to have a cheerful heart
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  and it's okay to cling to hope. And as I felt compelled to do a prayer and fast for her
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  and it was, it was, I was serious until either I was going too fast until she was healed
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  or until the good Lord took her one of the two. And so as he walked me through, I have
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  been walking through the old Testament this whole year and it really has just been, you
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  know, just speaking to me in so many different ways. We walk through Isaiah and Ezekiel and
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  how he strips everything from the, you know, Israel and you know, like they will know that
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  I am God, they will know that I am God. And we walk through Proverbs and Psalms and you
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  know, it is about having that faith and that hope and just knowing that your God is going
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  to provide and just, there is a time to weep and a time to laugh. And so, you know, you
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  have Ecclesiastes 3, 4 that says that you have a time to weep and you have a time to
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  laugh. And so we would be walking through scripture and you know, we would make jokes
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  and laugh about what it would be. And there is always time for a joyful heart and even
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  in the midst of your sorrow because I mean, we can be like downtrodden, but having a light
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  spirit in the midst of your storm, I feel can be so helpful. And it brings sorrow in
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  but in a lighthearted manner because, you know, the end is inevitable. We are all going
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  to go, we are all going to die, but it is really about the decision of if we go to heaven
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  or hell. And so, some ways that we can and make sure it is about, you know, the people
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  that we know in our lives, making sure that they know who Jesus is, knowing and making
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  sure that they know that there is another option. And really about having these discussions.
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  And so as the days went on, as we met in the mornings and at night and we would have prayer
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  and worship, you know, I told her that she was Moses and I would be Aaron. And so as
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  she barely had energy, as she had not eaten in several weeks, she was still drinking,
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  but I was able to lift up her hands and while she would worship. And in the midst of it
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  all, I mean, we listened to the old rugged cross. And for those that see me on YouTube
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  or, you know, Instagram and Tik Tok and all that stuff, I had little crosses put on my
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  fingernails because that the old rugged cross was one of her favorite songs. And so just
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  to just to keep in a line of what she wanted and, you know, the scars in heaven. And so
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  that I would come out with, you know, rattle and, you know, get out of your grave and just
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  to try to keep the moment, you know, upbeat and, you know, full of energy because, yeah,
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  even in the midst of our storms, we have a ton of Psalms that say praise. We praise and
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  we worship in the midst of our storm. And I came in one morning and I said, you know,
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  I said, I've been practicing my Lazarus speech. I said, do you want to hear it? And she said,
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  no. And I was like, well, fine. OK. I said, what do you what it is your favorite book?
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  What do you want to hear? And she said Psalms. And I said, OK. I said, we will we'll read
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  Psalms. And so we started at Psalm one and we were able to just walk through it every
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  day. Every night I would read the version, you know, Bible to her. And we were going
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  to, I thought, make it all the way through scripture and through through that. And I
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  would come in and, you know, the verse of the day is this and we would stand up and,
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  you know, we would get kind of cleaned up and we would sit there and I would say, you
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  know, this is the Lord the day has made. And so we will we will rejoice and look at that
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  sunshine that you made. And so just as God speaks to us through these times. And so I
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  did a prayer and fast and I was on day seven and I was asking her, where is your Bible?
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  And so I went and got her Bible and I opened it and where it was, it was God. And so it
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  opened up to Isaiah 58 and she had a little devotional. I don't know where she got it
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  from church or somewhere, but it said, what's a true fast? And so a true fast, it went through,
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  you know, it's about humbling yourself. It's not about the length of time. After a certain
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  point, you're doing it, you know, just for show. You've humbled yourself. You saw my
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  face and that's all you need to do. And like I said before, I was really I was going to
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  fast until either she was healed and it was just his simple kind of I call them God flicks
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  is I got your point. I got your I heard your request. I hear it. Your works isn't going
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  to do anything. And we know that prayer works. And I know that I know my plans for you and
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  my ways are greater than your ways. So and we petitioned, we argued and I wrestled with
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  God this whole time. And she basically said, you can argue with him. And I said, yes, you
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  can. Yes, you can. You can argue with him. You can tell him how it is. There's a whole
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  book on it is called Lamentations and I can come to him and I can come raw. I can come
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  sad. I can come mad. I can come all the way. And I really had just petitioned my friends
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  just to pray for healing to have resurrection. I wanted a Lazarus moment. I wanted a to leak
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  the kum. And that was not what his plan was. His plan was to call her home. And it was
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  in such a beautiful way. And so that morning it was Sunday. It was our first beautiful
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  Sunday here and it was warm. I opened up her windows. Her family was there and it was I
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  was like, OK, you know, it's time to it's time to go to church. And so we had church
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  that morning. I went to church. I went and dropped Gia off and came back that afternoon
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  to continue to read scripture. And I had been in prayer over a miracle. And I was just like,
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  you know what? I said, what a miracle. I just want a miracle. I just want a miracle. And
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  that miracle I was like, you know, but this really isn't even a miracle for you because
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  she still has a heartbeat. She still has a long like, you know, it's not like, oh, she's
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  been gone for days and we have a Lazarus here. And I said, you know, I want her healed. I've
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  been praying for healing and healing and healing. And that Sunday I really kind of flipped my
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  script because I was like, we're healed. We are healed. We're healed by your stripes.
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  We are healed by your blood. I just proclaimed it. I'm like, we're healed. She is healed.
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  She is healed. And I just really just kind of had a sense of relief about she is healed.
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  She is healed. And she was healed that day. And so in the midst of this, we made it up
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  to Psalm 86. And so in Psalm 86, it says, I bent down a Lord and hear my prayer. Answer
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  me for I need your help. Protect me for I am devoted to you. Save me for I serve you
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  and trust you. You are my God. I'm going to pause right there. And so one day her daughter
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  had came in and it was in the morning and she said, mom, it's time for your medicine.
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  And she said no. And she's like, okay, you know, you're the boss, you know, you don't
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  want it. And she was like, no. And I said, you're right. You're not the boss, are you?
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  And she said no. And I said, God's the boss, isn't he? And she said, yes. And so you have
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  someone that is just so weak that can barely stand. Eyes are open. But in the midst of
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  her storm, she still clung to her God is in charge. And so as we finish, we're down to
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  86.3. Be merciful to me, oh Lord, for I'm calling you on you constantly. Give me happiness,
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  oh Lord, for I give myself to you. Oh Lord, you are my good, so ready to forgive, so full
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  of unfailing love for all who ask for your help. Listen closely to my prayer, oh Lord,
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  hear my urgent cry. I will call you whenever I am in trouble and you will answer me. And
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  with those final words, it was teach me your ways, oh Lord, and I will live accordingly
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  to your truth. Grant me purity in your heart so I may honor you. My heart will praise you,
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  oh Lord, and I will give you glory for your name forever. For your love for me is great.
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  You have rescued me from the depths of death. Oh God, insolent people raise against me.
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  A violent gang is trying to kill me. You mean nothing to them, but oh God, oh Lord, you
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  are the God of compassion and mercy, so to anger and filled with unfailing love and faithful.
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  Look down and have mercy on me. Give your strength to your steward. Save me, the son
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  of your servant. Send me a sign of favor. For those who hate me will be put to shame,
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  oh Lord, help and comfort me. And with that, she took her final breath. And it was this
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  peace that just fell over her and it was, you are my God. You are my peace that you
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  are my joy, that you are the guy that has rescued me, that has seen my prayers, that
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  has been in this fight with me, that has and will rescue me. And every morning I would
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  come in and I would ask her, I say, what'd he tell you last night? And she would say,
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  what'd he say last night? I'm like, okay, then we wait on the Lord. We wait on the Lord.
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  And it's about his timing, his will, his way. And she hung and clung to that was it is his
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  way. It's his timing. I'm not going to argue because again, if I get healed down here,
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  great. If not, I get to go meet Jesus and I went again. And so just in the midst of
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  everything that she was battling, she stayed true to her God and did not waver. And so
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  you just see this action and Romans 8 28, it says, and we know in all things, God works
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  for good for all those who love him. And so we invite you and encourage you to share your
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  stories, to uplift others with what God has done for people. And so testimonies bring
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  encouragement to people and joining conversations on social media and remember that even in
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  sorrow, God's light can guide us and keep smiling and believing and having hope in the
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  midst of our storm, because it doesn't matter what we think. What does it matter? What's
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  on paper is that we remain hopeful in the Lord, no matter what. And so whenever we are
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  hurting, we have those words written on our heart. We have Psalm 34 18. We have Romans
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  8 28. We have John 14 1. We have these words that he already knew that we needed before
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  we even kneeled up, needed them. And so, you know, we heal in the quiet, we heal whenever
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  we pray and fast and we seek his face. And as he walked us through these scriptures and
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  we walked through the Old Testament and but we knew the end of the story. We knew that
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  Jesus already came. We knew that we were healed. We knew that we were loved. We knew that she
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  was going to be healed because she was already healed. And that was already paid for on the
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  cross. And so that old rugged cross really is just a beautiful symbol of what Christ
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  did for us. And so we don't have to fear death. We don't have to fear anything. He says in
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  scripture 365 times, do not be anxious, do not be nervous. And it was really just to
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  see someone actually live it out in the midst of a true storm. It was such an inspiring
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  thing to watch as she just clung to the words that she had written on her heart previously.
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  And even in our last episode, we talked about rooted and so about being rooted in scripture
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  and having those words written on her heart. And so she could remember the love that her
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  God has had for her and that there would be no pain and suffering that where she was going
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  and that in the midst of it, he was still in charge. And so I hope this message is inspiring
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  and uplifting and can be an encouraging word, but also to very eyeopening because those
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  that don't believe, that don't believe in Christ, that don't have not accepted Jesus
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  as our Lord and savior, this is not their story. This is not their end. This is not
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  their peace and calm and joy. This is not their ending. And so that is why it is so
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  important for us believers, for us disciples, for us ambassadors of Christ to spread his
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  word and to spread his joy and his love to those that are lost and do not know him. And
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  so it really is about being fishers of men and not watchers of the aquarium, going out
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  and seeking the lost and loving those that are around you that are not fully believers
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  yet because there will be a day that every knee will bow, every ear will hear and everybody
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  will come to a judgment seat and our future is secure in Christ, but it's those that are
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  not and that is what is scary. And so I just encourage you to be bold this week and just
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  love on those that are in front of you and love them hard. Go into intercessory, pray
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  for them, pray that their eyes are open and that their ears, their hearts are changed
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  and that let him do the soil changing because it's his job, not ours. We're job is just
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  to plant the seeds and let him do the work. And so I hope this message encourages you
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  and I am just so blessed to have been a part of her life and her legacy and how she left
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  this world full of courage and boldness, even in the midst of her storm. And so if you want
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  to bow your head, let's go ahead and pray. And so dear heavenly father, thank you so
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  much for today. Thank you so much for yesterday. Thank you for times of sorrow. Thank you for
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  times of joy. Thank you that you have made a way whenever we did not see a way. Thank
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  you that you have allowed us into your presence. Thank you for your grace. Thank you for your
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  mercy. Thank you for your love story in scripture. Thank you that we have time to write it on
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  our heart. And so we can pull it out in the midst of our storms because we know the promises
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  that you have said in scripture and that you love us. Thank you for everything that you
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  do in Jesus name. I pray. Amen. And so we, I will also share this. And so at the end
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  of every prayer time that we had together in her little voice, we would say a prayer
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  and I say that all that agree have to say amen. And so in her little voice, she would
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  say amen. And so it was just so encouraging as her grandson even was there and her kids
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  were there and they could see just her devotion to the one true God. And so we hope that you
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  taste a tuned for next week as we have another topic that we have been dealing with here
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  on fostering faith. We hope that you have an amazing week and have a blessed day. Bye.