Latest / The Ben Maller Show / The Fifth Hour: Binge Benny, Me & Mr. Michaels

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The Fifth Hour: Binge Benny, Me & Mr. Michaels · The Ben Maller Show

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Kabbooms.
• 0:02
  Speaker 2: If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred minutes
• 0:05
  Speaker 2: a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants
• 0:09
  Speaker 2: of the old Republic, a soul fashion of fairness. He
• 0:12
  Speaker 2: treats crackheads in the ghetto gutter the same as the
• 0:15
  Speaker 2: rich pill poppers in the penthouse. Wow to Clearinghouse of
• 0:19
  Speaker 2: hot takes, break free for something special. The Fifth Hour
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  Speaker 2: with Ben Maller starts right now.
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: In the air everywhere, The Fifth Hour with Me, Ben Mahler,
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: as we hang out together here on this Saturday. It
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: is the tenth day of January, and it is odd.
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: On this podcast, we have Binge, Benny, Me and Al
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: and campaign manager, all of that free weekend audio for you.
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: We do this not just for the American people, for
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: all people. Every man will in child. But we begin
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: with this so it is wild Card Weekend. I don't
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: if you know about that, but it's Wildcard weekend. Today's
• 1:07
  Speaker 1: wild Card Saturday, and it is about to explode like
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: a firecracker in a fireworks factory. It all gets going now.
• 1:16
  Speaker 1: We're doing this in the morning, so it gets going
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: a little bit later today. But if you thought the
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: last season of what was it called the Last of
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: US season two. I believe it was last year. I
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: read that that was the most binged show of twenty
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: twenty five. It had thirty million viewers glued to the
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: zombie apocalypse drama rama. Wait until you get your hands
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: on what myself and Tom Looney have in store for
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: you today. If you haven't watched it yet, we continue
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: our mission, our life's work, Benny Versus the Penny. There
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: are three full episodes every NFL playoff game, handicapped this
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: weekend against the spread, Locked and loaded. This is the
• 2:02
  Speaker 1: original rest of be back from our NBC glory days,
• 2:08
  Speaker 1: and it's must see Tube, not must see TV. It's
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: must see Tube. It's at Bennie Versus Penny at Benni
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: Vspenny on YouTube. From the Rams Panthers as Carolina, the
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: biggest home dog in NFL playoff history, at LA looking
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: to stomp and get revenge Wink Wink not no after
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: losing the Carolina during the regular season, and the Steelers
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: and Texans air and Rogers first playoff game as a
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: Pittsburgh Steeler and the Steelers trying to recreate that Steel
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: Curtain defense versus Houston, which appears to have the steel
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: curtain defense the Texans, although CJ. Stroud has not played
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: well in the road or on the road in the playoffs.
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: Now we are breaking down every game, spreads, we got
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: a little humor, spice that on top. There some sneaky trends,
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: you name it, fun facts, slice, singing up, sharper than
• 3:01
  Speaker 1: a butcher on Adderall we got you covered on that,
• 3:03
  Speaker 1: we got you covened on that. Now, think of it
• 3:05
  Speaker 1: as the super Bowl of binge watching BVP. But you
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: don't have to wait years and years, and you know
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: seasons and seasons and there's no gap, and much better
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: than those poor dopes who have to watch that stuff
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: on HBO three straight nights. If you want to do
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: it that way, Saturday, Sunday and money. Of course you
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  Speaker 1: should watch it today before the games. Otherwise it's kind
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: of pointless, a NonStop playoff chaos. It's kind of like
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: upgrading from rabbit eared TV to four K gridiron insanity.
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: You know, Tom's got his dope e one liners, silly shirts,
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: bad art which hit harder than a Sequon Barkley stiff arm.
• 3:47
  Speaker 1: And then I'll toss on top of that a study diet.
• 3:50
  Speaker 1: According to Alfie Allen, a punter and ferdog of analogies
• 3:54
  Speaker 1: that are supposed to fly faster than Tom Brady running
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: away from the mess that is the Raiders. Now these
• 4:01
  Speaker 1: things hotter Benny versus Penny than asphalt in July. And
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: it's not just your standards sports gambling show. It's appointment
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  Speaker 1: viewing that'll keep you glued like a kid who's got
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  Speaker 1: a sugar rush and looking at all the other candy
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: in the candy shop through the window. So you don't
• 4:21
  Speaker 1: need to scoll Netflix today or tomorrow or Monday. You
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: can mainline the most addictive sports gambling show around three
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: episodes against zero filler, pure playoff adrenaline. So grab your
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: wings or my case, the chicken fingers. You mute your
• 4:37
  Speaker 1: little annoying friends and your group chat the haters, and
• 4:41
  Speaker 1: fire up Benny versus the Penny. Just like JT the Wingman,
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: I always smile because JT the wing Man sends me
• 4:47
  Speaker 1: a photo he's on the treadmill, he's doing the gym
• 4:50
  Speaker 1: thing on the weekends, and he's got Benny versus the
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  Speaker 1: pennies watching. It's great. And trust me, bro, trust me, Bro,
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  Speaker 1: Once you start, you won't stop until until the show's
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: over and that's it. But that's that's what binge watching is.
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  Speaker 1: So Benny binge or binge Benny or whatever you want
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  Speaker 1: to call it. And forget the last of us. That
• 5:11
  Speaker 1: looks like a snoozefest compared to Benny versus the penny.
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  Speaker 1: So enjoy. So turn your page from that. Me and
• 5:18
  Speaker 1: al let us jenuflect. Let a little candle, Let me
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  Speaker 1: lower my voice. Why because the word is al Michaels
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  Speaker 1: is coming back. Let us discuss. So if you didn't
• 5:34
  Speaker 1: see this, the news came out yesterday on Friday, and
• 5:38
  Speaker 1: the question what is your reac shan to al Michaels
• 5:43
  Speaker 1: staying in the Thursday night booth calling NFL games in
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: what will be his age eighty two season on planet
• 5:52
  Speaker 1: Earth in the year twenty twenty six. So my thoughts
• 5:55
  Speaker 1: on this, I've got the art of pitching, sainthood and
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: slow cooked stew and we will combine all of these
• 6:05
  Speaker 1: things together and we are going to make delicious soft pretzels,
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: is what we're going to make. So let's start with this.
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  Speaker 1: Amazon Prime did confirm I was reading about this yesterday.
• 6:15
  Speaker 1: They confirmed the ageless wonder We'll be back in the
• 6:18
  Speaker 1: booth for the upcoming next season. Still of the playoff's
• 6:21
  Speaker 1: going on, and if you listen closely, if you listen
• 6:26
  Speaker 1: close to you could hear the groans of social media
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  Speaker 1: a holes, the nitpickers being drowned out by the sound
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: of a perfectly time pause between a third down snap
• 6:39
  Speaker 1: building up the drama. Now, Al says that the passion
• 6:43
  Speaker 1: still exists. He said, quote, I feel really good, still
• 6:47
  Speaker 1: love what I do. Let me translate that using the
• 6:50
  Speaker 1: Mallard decoder ring. That means that he does he have
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: the fast ball. No, it's the art of pitching. There's
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: more ways than just one to get hitters out. You can, Yeah,
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  Speaker 1: you can overpower a batter with ninety seven mile on
• 7:06
  Speaker 1: hour fastballs. Yeah. However, Al, at this point he didn't
• 7:11
  Speaker 1: have the fastball anymore. He's just trying to beguile hitters
• 7:14
  Speaker 1: with finesse and finesse pitchers rely on what change ups, curveballs,
• 7:18
  Speaker 1: dramatic pauses, and other breaking pitches, and so Tonight, Al
• 7:23
  Speaker 1: Michaels is on the call Packers and Bears at Soldier
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: Field on the shores of Lake Michigan. His thirty first
• 7:32
  Speaker 1: NFL broadcast from the Cathedral by the Lake thirty one.
• 7:38
  Speaker 1: It's not a resume, that is a time capsule. His
• 7:42
  Speaker 1: first game there was in nineteen eighty six. Ronald Reagan
• 7:47
  Speaker 1: was in off his hair spray, was undefeated, and people
• 7:51
  Speaker 1: still believe that the Bears quarterback situation would sort itself out. Yeah.
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  Speaker 1: Of course, at that time, the Bears had tremendous, tremendous
• 7:59
  Speaker 1: def So al Michaels has been the primary voice of
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  Speaker 1: Thursday Night Football on Amazon since twenty twenty two. Here
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: we are in twenty twenty six, and that extends a
• 8:11
  Speaker 1: run of forty years, four decades of Al Michael's on primetime.
• 8:17
  Speaker 1: That's two generations that have grown up with Al Michaels
• 8:21
  Speaker 1: on NFL primetime games. Now, for me, Al is on
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  Speaker 1: the path to sainthood for broadcasters, if there is such
• 8:28
  Speaker 1: a thing. Someday he will be entombed in the Valley
• 8:32
  Speaker 1: of the Kings with microphones wrapped in a linen made
• 8:35
  Speaker 1: out of his old play charts, his old call sheets,
• 8:38
  Speaker 1: clutching the microphone, whispering, do you believe in miracles? I
• 8:42
  Speaker 1: could see that happening, unless I can. Yeah, that miracle,
• 8:45
  Speaker 1: by the way, the miracle on ice the big one,
• 8:48
  Speaker 1: the big one. And if you're keeping score, that call alone,
• 8:53
  Speaker 1: that miracle on ice call alone, all those years ago
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  Speaker 1: earns Al Michaels a lifetime exemption from the hot take
• 9:02
  Speaker 1: goolog Right, he gets a full exemption from the hot
• 9:05
  Speaker 1: take attacks and all that. But wait, there's more. Like
• 9:09
  Speaker 1: every good infomercial, Al didn't stop there. He just kept
• 9:12
  Speaker 1: going and going and going, like the energizer buddy. More like,
• 9:17
  Speaker 1: I guess an Al's case, a classic buick that has
• 9:20
  Speaker 1: a lot of miles refuses to die because it was
• 9:23
  Speaker 1: actually built back when people titaned bolts, made things with
• 9:27
  Speaker 1: pride and made things to last, didn't make things to
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  Speaker 1: fall apart. Within a couple of years now, Al started
• 9:33
  Speaker 1: calling games I think I saw was nineteen seventy one.
• 9:37
  Speaker 1: Nineteen seventy one called the Reds, the Giants called baseball
• 9:42
  Speaker 1: minor league baseball in Hawaii, back when they had a
• 9:45
  Speaker 1: minor league team in Hawaii. Let me paint the picture
• 9:50
  Speaker 1: Mallar style to put in perspective here. The nineteen seventy
• 9:53
  Speaker 1: one Richard Nixon, Tricky Dick was in the White House.
• 9:59
  Speaker 1: Watergate had blown the doors off yet a home, the
• 10:03
  Speaker 1: Median Home cost in America twenty four thousand dollars. A
• 10:07
  Speaker 1: new car was thirty five hundred dollars. You get gas.
• 10:10
  Speaker 1: A gallon of gas would cost you thirty six cents.
• 10:13
  Speaker 1: A stamp was eight cents. We just had one of
• 10:17
  Speaker 1: our buddies from Ohio sent a nice gift package of
• 10:20
  Speaker 1: things because you can visit the studio. One of our
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: guys in Dayton fifty dollars in shipping. Fifty dollars this
• 10:27
  Speaker 1: guy spent to send packages to the studio. A stamp
• 10:31
  Speaker 1: back then eight cents. Cigarettes. You're smoker forty five cents
• 10:36
  Speaker 1: a pack of cigarettes if you love the nicotine. In
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: other words, to put a ball on this, if you
• 10:41
  Speaker 1: had twenty bucks, you were like Rockefeller, or a more
• 10:45
  Speaker 1: modern reference I guess would be Jeff Bezos or any
• 10:50
  Speaker 1: of those rich tech guys that run the run the
• 10:53
  Speaker 1: world right Elon Musk. So, according to the inflation mallor math,
• 10:57
  Speaker 1: if you had twenty dollars when al Michael started brought
• 11:00
  Speaker 1: casting in nineteen seventy one, one hundred and you'd have
• 11:03
  Speaker 1: one hundred and fifty eight dollars. One hundred and fifty
• 11:08
  Speaker 1: eight dollars you would have. So if you had one
• 11:12
  Speaker 1: hundred dollars back then, you'd have over six hundred dollars today.
• 11:16
  Speaker 1: If my malord math is correct. That's a costco run
• 11:19
  Speaker 1: with emotional damage. And through all of that, think about
• 11:24
  Speaker 1: what has happened in the world since nineteen seventy one Wars.
• 11:26
  Speaker 1: We've had attacked nine to eleven wokesters. We've had all
• 11:31
  Speaker 1: kinds of freaks of nature that have taken over pop
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: culture and whatnot. The rules have changed. Streaming is now
• 11:39
  Speaker 1: a thing. Podcasting what we're doing right now, the invention
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: in NFL games of the blue medical tent. When Al
• 11:47
  Speaker 1: started calling NFL games, if you got knocked out, just
• 11:52
  Speaker 1: rub some dirt in your forehead, don't be a pussy
• 11:54
  Speaker 1: willow and get back out on the field. Now everything
• 11:58
  Speaker 1: stops and all that, and so Al Michaels has been there,
• 12:01
  Speaker 1: He's seen it. This is not his first rodeo. He's
• 12:05
  Speaker 1: been around the block a couple of times as well,
• 12:08
  Speaker 1: calmly narrating all the football chaos. And he's like a
• 12:12
  Speaker 1: museum guide for the NFL. Think about it. He started
• 12:17
  Speaker 1: was Pete Roselle was the commissioner the NFL back in
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: the day. And how Luckierre we how Luckierre we that Now,
• 12:27
  Speaker 1: after this season wraps, Al Michaels he said he's heading
• 12:32
  Speaker 1: to Lake Placid to honor the gold medal US hockey team,
• 12:36
  Speaker 1: which helped also elevate his career, and during a recent
• 12:41
  Speaker 1: chit chat, Al laid out the secret he told Mad
• 12:44
  Speaker 1: Dog the secret sauce to longevity. He said, I'll go
• 12:48
  Speaker 1: as long as I can if I can still do
• 12:50
  Speaker 1: it at the level that satisfies me. Not you, by
• 12:53
  Speaker 1: the way, And that's not ego, that's a standard. The
• 12:56
  Speaker 1: standard is the standard, as Mike Thomon likes to say.
• 12:59
  Speaker 1: And that is the same thing you know, it's it's
• 13:03
  Speaker 1: the same thing that that's missing when people scream online.
• 13:09
  Speaker 1: Al's lost it. I don't like this. He's not exciting enough.
• 13:13
  Speaker 1: He doesn't bark, he's not action. He's not acting like
• 13:17
  Speaker 1: a caffeinated auctioneer. He's not doing that. What's wrong with you?
• 13:21
  Speaker 1: Come on, Al? Come on? Al. Al doesn't shout, he
• 13:25
  Speaker 1: doesn't obviously not. I'm hear say he does. He lets
• 13:28
  Speaker 1: the moment breathe. And if it was music, he is
• 13:33
  Speaker 1: not electric dance music. He's obviously not. He's not disco.
• 13:39
  Speaker 1: He's smooth jazz, keeping your jazz commercial free. Al Michaels,
• 13:45
  Speaker 1: he's a fireplace. He's not a ring light. You want
• 13:48
  Speaker 1: a ring light, He's not a ring light. He don't
• 13:50
  Speaker 1: know what a ring light is. And let's talk about
• 13:54
  Speaker 1: the komodo dragging the room, the snuffle effects in the room.
• 13:57
  Speaker 1: Respect for your elders. Now, in many Asian cultures, In
• 14:04
  Speaker 1: many Asian cultures, elders are revered. Wisdom is currency. It
• 14:10
  Speaker 1: is you need to learn from these people, you need
• 14:13
  Speaker 1: to appreciate them. In America, we send grandpa to the
• 14:18
  Speaker 1: convalescent home to play shuffleboard and bingo and tell him
• 14:25
  Speaker 1: to stop bothering us. You're telling me the same story,
• 14:28
  Speaker 1: you old geezer. What is wrong with you? And I
• 14:31
  Speaker 1: to that, I say, foe foo. If broadcasting we're a monastery,
• 14:36
  Speaker 1: al Michaels would be the monk. Everyone actually sits around
• 14:40
  Speaker 1: and listens to tell me another story. Al Michaels, I
• 14:44
  Speaker 1: want to hear another story. Now. You know how I
• 14:46
  Speaker 1: feel about social media being the matrix and all that.
• 14:48
  Speaker 1: This social media hullabaloo, the pandemonium around al Michaels, I
• 14:53
  Speaker 1: believe is largely manufactured. Now, what is my evidence on that.
• 14:56
  Speaker 1: So I had some downtime yesterday and I started fussing
• 15:01
  Speaker 1: around with my phone and I clicked on one of
• 15:04
  Speaker 1: the stories that had al Michaels returning to Amazon because
• 15:08
  Speaker 1: I was interested in it and I wanted to see
• 15:10
  Speaker 1: what was going on, And so I accidentally saw some
• 15:12
  Speaker 1: of the comments on there, and then I said, oh,
• 15:15
  Speaker 1: let me much like the matrix, let me fall down
• 15:18
  Speaker 1: the rabbit hole. And I did, and I started clicking
• 15:22
  Speaker 1: on people that were just bashing the hell out al Michaels,
• 15:25
  Speaker 1: just dropping a guillotine on top of his neck. And
• 15:28
  Speaker 1: so I kept going through and I noticed as I
• 15:31
  Speaker 1: was going through this, most, not all, most of the
• 15:36
  Speaker 1: accounts had all the hallmarks, all the earmarks of fake accounts,
• 15:41
  Speaker 1: bought accounts. Now, the part I don't understand, and I'm
• 15:44
  Speaker 1: not that smart, you know, I'm just doing a weekend
• 15:47
  Speaker 1: podcast right now and I do the overnight show, is
• 15:49
  Speaker 1: what is the agenda there? Like why would someone have
• 15:52
  Speaker 1: an orchestrated bought attack against al Michaels. It doesn't make
• 15:57
  Speaker 1: a lot of sense to me, Like there's some bot
• 15:59
  Speaker 1: farm in Maldo where they're like, all right, let's stop
• 16:02
  Speaker 1: attacking Trump. Let's talk, let's attack Al Michaels. I don't
• 16:05
  Speaker 1: understand that, but there they were all the things that
• 16:09
  Speaker 1: I'm told to look for. The low number of followers,
• 16:12
  Speaker 1: the same amount of people you're following, there's a certain
• 16:16
  Speaker 1: algorithm that tells you it's a bot. And most of
• 16:19
  Speaker 1: these accounts that were taking shots at Al Michaels were
• 16:23
  Speaker 1: fake accounts, and they were saying a lot of the
• 16:24
  Speaker 1: same things anyway, saying a lot of same things anyway,
• 16:28
  Speaker 1: So I think this is mostly manufactured. You'd think that
• 16:32
  Speaker 1: Al takes a horse and buggy to work. And one
• 16:34
  Speaker 1: thing about Al, he always stays at the Presidential Suite
• 16:37
  Speaker 1: when he travels, and he's got car service, And yeah,
• 16:42
  Speaker 1: he doesn't. He doesn't do the horse and buggy. He prepares,
• 16:45
  Speaker 1: he watches. He knows when to speak. He also knows
• 16:49
  Speaker 1: when to shut up. And that skill alone puts him
• 16:52
  Speaker 1: ahead of ninety five percent of the younger generation of announcers,
• 16:57
  Speaker 1: who treat every second like they're trying to get a
• 17:00
  Speaker 1: viral moment on TikTok. Every single moment needs to go
• 17:04
  Speaker 1: viral on the TikTok and all that stuff, and it
• 17:07
  Speaker 1: just come on, take a breath, Take a breath, as
• 17:09
  Speaker 1: Doc Mike would say. Now, there are exceptions. I'm not
• 17:11
  Speaker 1: gonna say there's every young get off my lawn, every
• 17:14
  Speaker 1: young broadcast Noah Eagle Pops Future Goat Noah Eagle, Amazing,
• 17:21
  Speaker 1: Amazing on NBC. Had a chance to meet him as
• 17:27
  Speaker 1: a young lad. He's like nineteen, he started doing Clipper
• 17:29
  Speaker 1: games on the radio, and so he's the exception of
• 17:32
  Speaker 1: the rule. But by and large, the new wave is
• 17:37
  Speaker 1: loud soup. It's all salt, no stock and al Michaels.
• 17:43
  Speaker 1: He's like, I'm not some loud soup. I'm not all salt,
• 17:46
  Speaker 1: I'm not no stock. I'm slow cook Stew is what
• 17:52
  Speaker 1: I am? Slow cook stew. That is me, That is me?
• 17:57
  Speaker 1: And yes, is he mellow at time? Yeah he is.
• 18:01
  Speaker 1: He's mellow now, his inflections don't spike like a heart
• 18:05
  Speaker 1: monitor in a horror movie. And there's a level of
• 18:09
  Speaker 1: confidence that he's still able to call a great game
• 18:11
  Speaker 1: and he doesn't have to go up and all that stuff.
• 18:14
  Speaker 1: And when you've seen everything, you don't flinch at a
• 18:18
  Speaker 1: screen pass. You don't. And as an added bonus, and
• 18:21
  Speaker 1: I must full disclosure talk about this as an added
• 18:24
  Speaker 1: bonus personal bias alert, as I have something in common
• 18:29
  Speaker 1: with al Michaels. We shared dietary habits. The most famous
• 18:34
  Speaker 1: quirk of the life of al Michaels, who famously said
• 18:39
  Speaker 1: that he never has eaten a vegetable ever. He said, quote,
• 18:44
  Speaker 1: man does not need vegetables to survive. Quotes quote That
• 18:49
  Speaker 1: is not a diet, That is a philosophy, that is
• 18:51
  Speaker 1: a life goal. Meat, potatoes and destiny. And I believe
• 18:57
  Speaker 1: in the cause. I believe, I stand and in lockstep.
• 19:02
  Speaker 1: I stand in lockstep with al Michaels. I do, I
• 19:07
  Speaker 1: just say, And so tonight, when al Michaels opens his
• 19:12
  Speaker 1: mouth and the game begins, al Michaels and Herbie understand
• 19:18
  Speaker 1: what you're hearing. I understand. You're not just hearing Packers
• 19:22
  Speaker 1: versus Bears, dumb bears, the Green Packers and the Rgo Bears,
• 19:27
  Speaker 1: the monstrous of Midway, the trees hells. Make sure when
• 19:31
  Speaker 1: you come down, stop at the Cheese Castle and Kenosha
• 19:34
  Speaker 1: on your way down from Green Bay. What you're hearing
• 19:37
  Speaker 1: is greatness, continuity, history. You're hearing history. You're hearing a
• 19:44
  Speaker 1: living archive who still loves what he does and does
• 19:48
  Speaker 1: what he loves the craft, right that. Yeah, is it nostalgia?
• 19:54
  Speaker 1: Of course it is for me part of it. You know,
• 19:55
  Speaker 1: growing up, I was a little nine year old kid.
• 19:57
  Speaker 1: I wanted to be on the radio. I want to
• 19:58
  Speaker 1: be on TV. And there was al Michael's calling him
• 20:00
  Speaker 1: Monday night game with you know, I'm trying to think
• 20:03
  Speaker 1: who he was with at that time. It was Frank Gifford,
• 20:07
  Speaker 1: or might have even been before that he was. I
• 20:09
  Speaker 1: remember watching al Michael's doing a Monday night baseball game
• 20:12
  Speaker 1: before before time, and it was him, And how would
• 20:17
  Speaker 1: co sell? It's just great? And so he still does
• 20:21
  Speaker 1: it and he meets his own standards, not your standards,
• 20:24
  Speaker 1: and Amazon's okay with it, and Jim Harball would say,
• 20:28
  Speaker 1: who's got it better than us? And again, how lucky
• 20:30
  Speaker 1: are we? So I urge you to enjoy it while
• 20:35
  Speaker 1: you can't. Is this is getting eighty two? You're eighty two?
• 20:40
  Speaker 2: You know?
• 20:40
  Speaker 1: Yeah? That many more games to call, you know, because someday,
• 20:45
  Speaker 1: and sooner than later, the booth will be quieter. They'll
• 20:48
  Speaker 1: get some hot shot hipster broadcaster in there, and the
• 20:52
  Speaker 1: pauses are going to be gone, and you'll realize what
• 20:55
  Speaker 1: you know hemy once in a while. It'd be nice
• 20:56
  Speaker 1: if you just hit the pause button. That'd be pretty cool.
• 21:01
  Speaker 1: I meanwhile, turning the page. Let's workshop. I'm gonna continue
• 21:05
  Speaker 1: the anti vegetable movement that Al Michaels gave that famous quote,
• 21:10
  Speaker 1: one of the great quotes of all time. Man does
• 21:12
  Speaker 1: not need vegetables to survive, and Al is the proof
• 21:16
  Speaker 1: of that. He said, well, you don't need your vegetable.
• 21:17
  Speaker 1: I remember my mom, If you don't need your vegetables,
• 21:19
  Speaker 1: you're not gonna grow tall. You're not You're bah blah
• 21:21
  Speaker 1: blah blah b Well, mom, Al Michaels is eighty gonna
• 21:26
  Speaker 1: be eighty two and seems perfectly fine. That's a good run.
• 21:30
  Speaker 1: He's on bonus time, right. He's in the average life
• 21:33
  Speaker 1: like seventy five, I think, or something like the average
• 21:35
  Speaker 1: mail is to about seventy five. So Al's on bonus time.
• 21:38
  Speaker 1: He's on bonus time. Good for him. Now, I got
• 21:40
  Speaker 1: to tell you, I'm still traumatized by the little rascals.
• 21:44
  Speaker 1: I used to watch reruns when I was a kid.
• 21:45
  Speaker 1: That character Alfalfa, they say, the father of all foods.
• 21:49
  Speaker 1: Alfalfa for me, it was nightmare fuel. For me. It
• 21:52
  Speaker 1: was nightmare fuel. It was, And so I said, we're
• 21:56
  Speaker 1: going to workshop this anti vegetable movement. Let's think of
• 21:59
  Speaker 1: this like politics. You know, you have people fighting team red,
• 22:02
  Speaker 1: team blue. There's very few bipartisan issues. And I understand
• 22:07
  Speaker 1: there's already a Green Party. I know there's a Green Party,
• 22:10
  Speaker 1: but this is the New Green Party, all right, n GP,
• 22:16
  Speaker 1: the New Green Party. Did you write that down? Yeah?
• 22:22
  Speaker 1: N g e New Green Party. And al Michaels is
• 22:29
  Speaker 1: part of our party. Puka Nakool of the Rams and yours.
• 22:35
  Speaker 1: Truly we are all big anti veggie people. Now imagine
• 22:39
  Speaker 1: if you will, that for this little exercise, little workshop,
• 22:43
  Speaker 1: I am the campaign manager some pillars of our movement
• 22:47
  Speaker 1: against the industrialized agriculture in America, Big Aggie, we'll call
• 22:53
  Speaker 1: it big Aggie, big Farm. I can't say pharma because
• 22:56
  Speaker 1: that's that's pharmaceudals. So our slogans here, what would they be?
• 23:01
  Speaker 1: I'm the campaign Meager Vegetable lives matter, stand up, speak out,
• 23:06
  Speaker 1: stop the slaughter of salad, to stop it, stop it.
• 23:13
  Speaker 1: This election season, I want you to join the anti
• 23:18
  Speaker 1: veggie movement because every carot deserves a future, every broccoli
• 23:26
  Speaker 1: deserves a childhood and every legome deserves liberty. Dropped the mic.
• 23:33
  Speaker 1: How about this? For too long? Big salad has controlled
• 23:38
  Speaker 1: the narrative. For too long. Humans have marched into grocery
• 23:42
  Speaker 1: stores like zombies, with reckless abandon ripping innocent greens from
• 23:47
  Speaker 1: their homes, tearing families of asparagus apart, and sentencing helpless
• 23:53
  Speaker 1: zucchinis to life on a cutting board. No more, no more,
• 24:00
  Speaker 1: put us stop this right now. And I urge you.
• 24:04
  Speaker 1: I beg you to join the NGP, the New Green Party.
• 24:09
  Speaker 1: It's not bad, right, I mean, it can touch it
• 24:11
  Speaker 1: up a little bit. We'll clean that up and post. Now,
• 24:14
  Speaker 1: if I were to make a thirty second political ad,
• 24:19
  Speaker 1: as you know, I love my Live Reads, it's our
• 24:23
  Speaker 1: number one, our number two. So let's let's attempt this,
• 24:28
  Speaker 1: all right. I want you to let me know what
• 24:31
  Speaker 1: you think, and if this becomes a thing, we can start.
• 24:35
  Speaker 1: But again, the NGP, the New Green Party. So this
• 24:39
  Speaker 1: is a thirty second think of this like a political
• 24:42
  Speaker 1: ad election season, Vegetable Lives Matter vl M or whatever.
• 24:49
  Speaker 1: So it starts out in my head, and again this
• 24:52
  Speaker 1: is the cartoon bubble the top my head. So it
• 24:54
  Speaker 1: starts out with some somber piano music, and then there's
• 24:58
  Speaker 1: a slow zoom on a lonely carrot in a field,
• 25:03
  Speaker 1: and it's all by itself. It's all by itself. And
• 25:07
  Speaker 1: then the the commercial starts, and I'm just imagine I'm
• 25:11
  Speaker 1: the narrator. It's Ben Maler here to speak out against
• 25:16
  Speaker 1: the industrial complex of big veggie. For too long in
• 25:20
  Speaker 1: this country, innocent vegetables have suffered in silence, ripped from
• 25:25
  Speaker 1: their homes, chopped without mercy, tossed into salads without a
• 25:30
  Speaker 1: second thought. So at this point and paused the commercial.
• 25:34
  Speaker 1: It's a TV commercial, so we cut to black and
• 25:36
  Speaker 1: white footage of broccolia, a really beautiful piece of broccoli
• 25:42
  Speaker 1: trembling in the wind. Now we get back to the
• 25:45
  Speaker 1: narrator voice. I'm gonna be the narrator, but now I
• 25:50
  Speaker 1: gotta go. Let me do that. I got aho slur.
• 25:52
  Speaker 1: But now a movement rises, a movement that says no more,
• 25:56
  Speaker 1: a movement that believes every leafy green deserves the chance
• 26:01
  Speaker 1: to live a long, full, productive life in nature where
• 26:06
  Speaker 1: they belong, not on your dinner plate. So we then change,
• 26:11
  Speaker 1: because it's TV commercial, so we have the music really
• 26:14
  Speaker 1: starts to swell at this point, it's like, really, you know,
• 26:18
  Speaker 1: you know, it's a real sappy yeah. And then we'll
• 26:22
  Speaker 1: sell patriotism. We'll get the American flag. We'll have that light,
• 26:26
  Speaker 1: you know, lighting that American flag style lighting behind and
• 26:30
  Speaker 1: then an untouched it's all emotional here, untouched head of lettuce.
• 26:37
  Speaker 1: So so sappy music, just imagine that. And then you
• 26:42
  Speaker 1: got that lighting like it's on the American flag and
• 26:44
  Speaker 1: then behind the untouched head of lettuce. All right, let's
• 26:48
  Speaker 1: get back to the to the copy. So the narrative was,
• 26:51
  Speaker 1: join the anti vegetable movement, stand up for spinach, fight
• 26:56
  Speaker 1: for freedom of peas, protect the pod born. All right.
• 27:00
  Speaker 1: Then we pause again because it's TV commercials, so we
• 27:03
  Speaker 1: pause again, dramatic, dramatic pause. Vegetable lives matter because even
• 27:12
  Speaker 1: salads deserve justice. And then you fade fade to black,
• 27:17
  Speaker 1: and then you put on there paid for by the
• 27:21
  Speaker 1: New Green Party. All right, so yeah, we can dress
• 27:24
  Speaker 1: it up a little bit. That's just my idea, just
• 27:27
  Speaker 1: my idea for my campaign. I think we can all
• 27:31
  Speaker 1: get behind that. I think everyone will get behind that
• 27:34
  Speaker 1: and we will all be better off. And that is
• 27:38
  Speaker 1: the one thing we can all find appealing, because even
• 27:42
  Speaker 1: people that eat vegetables don't usually like they pretend likely
• 27:46
  Speaker 1: like vegetable. You know, I'm talking those people that are like, oh,
• 27:47
  Speaker 1: I like vegetable, I'm a vegetable person. I'm better than
• 27:49
  Speaker 1: you and all this stuff. I'm like, I don't think
• 27:53
  Speaker 1: you're I think you're just programmed, right, You're indoctrinated into that.
• 27:59
  Speaker 1: And that's the issue there, you and your little leafy
• 28:03
  Speaker 1: greens and all that stuff. I know, the smell of califlower,
• 28:08
  Speaker 1: you think that's good. You might want to grow to
• 28:11
  Speaker 1: the doctor. You look forward to eating a plate of
• 28:13
  Speaker 1: Brussels sprouts. I think you had some trauma as a child. Hey,
• 28:18
  Speaker 1: you think a sweet potato is as good as a
• 28:20
  Speaker 1: regular potato? Come on, now, there is an exception, and
• 28:24
  Speaker 1: I fully admit it, because every rule has an exception. Garlic.
• 28:28
  Speaker 1: Garlic is the exception. That's it. That's the only exception.
• 28:33
  Speaker 1: And I don't want to hear any complaints about that.
• 28:37
  Speaker 1: And technically they say garlic is the vegetable, but I
• 28:40
  Speaker 1: just believe that's because the garlic people. The garlic people
• 28:44
  Speaker 1: want garlic to be part of the vegetable community because
• 28:47
  Speaker 1: they think it's cool. They think it's cool. And we
• 28:49
  Speaker 1: all know that garlic is a crossover because it can
• 28:54
  Speaker 1: deter vampires from attacking. And who wants to be a
• 29:00
  Speaker 1: act by vampires? I don't know anybody wants to be
• 29:02
  Speaker 1: attacked by vampires. And so vampires exposed the garlic, uh,
• 29:08
  Speaker 1: you know what, they just they have terrible problems. It's
• 29:11
  Speaker 1: a big issue for them in the vampire community. And
• 29:14
  Speaker 1: and the other thing is it's it's a great vegetable.
• 29:17
  Speaker 1: And for those of us that are part of the
• 29:19
  Speaker 1: movement here against the just shoving vegetables down our throat,
• 29:25
  Speaker 1: the garlic again, we consider that a non vegetable. It's it's,
• 29:31
  Speaker 1: it's it's it's a little bit of this. It's like
• 29:33
  Speaker 1: a super thing, is what. And it's nature's antibiotic, right,
• 29:38
  Speaker 1: Garlic is nature's antibiotic, and so we we take that
• 29:42
  Speaker 1: as our own anyway, all right, we'll get out on that,
• 29:45
  Speaker 1: have a wonderful rest of your Saturday, and please enjoy
• 29:50
  Speaker 1: those NFL games Benny versus the pay Remember you gotta
• 29:52
  Speaker 1: binge watch Benny versus the Penny. And we will have
• 29:55
  Speaker 1: a mail bag for you, have a mail bag for you,
• 29:58
  Speaker 1: and we'll do that on obviously tomorrow on Sunday and
• 30:02
  Speaker 1: talk to you then Aloha. I think that Aloha right, yeah,
• 30:06
  Speaker 1: okay now bopulation