Latest / Brunch with Brittany / Marriage vs Long-Term Love: Big Sean's Perspective

Transcript

Marriage vs Long-Term Love: Big Sean's Perspective · Brunch with Brittany

• 0:13
  Speaker 1: Welcome back to Brunch with Brittany another episode of a Girl's Girl podcast.
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: Get your drink ready, because we have a lot to discuss today, okay, so if you haven't heard or seen Big Sean's comments about Jhene Aiko and their relationship, have a seat.
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: We got a lot to get into.
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: If you haven't seen it, we're going to get into what he said about his relationship with Jhene Aiko.
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: And, mind you, these two have been seeing each other on and off, but ultimately together since 2016.
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: Ok, fast forward to now.
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: That makes eight years.
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: This is almost 10 years that they've been together.
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: Ok, keep that in mind as we go into this.
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: So Big Sean does an interview and they ask him like, ok, did you secretly get married to Jhene Aiko or, you know, do you have plans to?
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: So Big Sean goes on to explain that, first of all, the answer was no, there's no secret marriage.
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: That happened between the two, okay.
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: And then he goes on to explain why he's not married to her yet.
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: And we're going to listen to the audio because I want to pick it apart as he's saying it so you can really understand what I think he's saying behind, what he was saying to the camera and all of that.
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: So we'll get into it.
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: All right, I'm going to go to the video, but I was just like I just saw so many red flags in what he was saying about why, the reasons why it hasn't happened yet.
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: So this is him.
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: Right after he's been asked if they are secretly married, let's start no, no, there has not been a secret industry marriage.
• 1:55
  Speaker 2: Um, I think that it's a.
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: It's a little personal you can tell that he's like trying to find, say, the right way so that he doesn't offend janae, but um, it did not work, let's go I mean, but just like to be real with you, just like any people who whenever someone says, just to be real with you, I always feel like you're giving yourself some time, but go on have dealt with love.
• 2:23
  Speaker 2: We've had our ups and downs.
• 2:24
  Speaker 2: Every relationship has that and I think it's still finding the right navigation through it all.
• 2:30
  Speaker 2: Um, I don't know if, like, if to me, marriage symbolizes like the best relationship, you know people would be like oh, you got to get married.
• 2:51
  Speaker 1: Okay, right there.
• 2:51
  Speaker 1: So he's already saying that marriage symbolizes the best relationship.
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: And I think if you talk to anybody and you really think about it like no, anyone that's married, it's not like it's your.
• 2:57
  Speaker 1: You finally come to this perfect space together and it's like now we'll be married and now we're good, and now you know we won't have any problems, nothing to work on, we're done working on stuff.
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: I don't think any married couple has ever said that.
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: In fact, the work continues.
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: But go on, sean.
• 3:11
  Speaker 2: To me.
• 3:12
  Speaker 2: I feel like having a relationship is first and foremost, and like marriage is a byproduct of that.
• 3:18
  Speaker 2: I feel like a lot of people get the idea of like, oh, you have to get married, but then it's like to me that's almost a fear-based way of thinking too, because then people be getting divorced.
• 3:28
  Speaker 2: The divorce rate is so fucking high.
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: So he starts talking about divorce and the divorce rate being super high, which you know, if you've always heard.
• 3:39
  Speaker 1: The statistics are like that you have a 50% chance of divorce when you get married, right, if you look at it like that.
• 3:45
  Speaker 1: But you bring it to your own relationship, you're already just kind of using it.
• 3:50
  Speaker 1: To me, that's an excuse, like well, divorce rate's so high, so you know I'm not going to get married, I'm not going to be a part of that.
• 3:56
  Speaker 1: Meanwhile, your relationship could be something completely different and never lead to divorce, and you wouldn't know just because you decided lead to divorce.
• 4:05
  Speaker 1: And you wouldn't know just because you decided, like it's probably not gonna work.
• 4:07
  Speaker 1: We'll go by the stats on this one.
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: By the way, sacrifice her dreams, right, if she does want to get married.
• 4:10
  Speaker 1: No, I don't want to take a chance of us divorcing.
• 4:13
  Speaker 2: Let's not put it on paper, but okay I'm someone who I'm not like discounting anything, and I'm not saying that we aren't gonna get married, but what I'm saying is is that it's so he's saying that they he just said like, oh, I'm not saying we'll never get married, right?
• 4:28
  Speaker 1: So then that leaves a question mark for Jhené when?
• 4:30
  Speaker 1: So then, when are you going to feel good about it?
• 4:33
  Speaker 1: Because he already said, we have work to put in right.
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: How much more work.
• 4:37
  Speaker 1: It's been eight years.
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: You're coming up on a decade, and if you don't know about Jhene Aiko, you know that she wants to be married, she wants to be a wife, okay, she wants to have the family and all of that right.
• 4:50
  Speaker 1: So already this is something that she wants, it's something that she dreamed of, okay, a vision for herself.
• 4:56
  Speaker 1: And he's already like just holding it, holding it kind of like you know it's in the air for her.
• 5:03
  Speaker 1: It's possible, it might happen.
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: I've thought about it, but you know not yet.
• 5:11
  Speaker 2: Not yet.
• 5:12
  Speaker 2: I would like to do a lot.
• 5:15
  Speaker 2: I would like to, and I don't like putting our personal business out there like that either, but there's a lot of work that needs to be done.
• 5:25
  Speaker 2: I feel like, in general, we're so many, we have so many relationships.
• 5:30
  Speaker 2: It's like being in peers, being in a group together, parents, romantic okay, right there, they've already.
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: They've worked together.
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: They've worked together.
• 5:42
  Speaker 1: They've made money together.
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: Okay, they made a child together.
• 5:46
  Speaker 1: We should have started there.
• 5:47
  Speaker 1: They have a child together.
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: Which so confuses me when men will say, uh, you know, I'm not ready for that commitment of a marriage or it could go wrong, but you'll have a whole baby with a partner and that's not commitment.
• 6:01
  Speaker 1: That doesn't seal it for you.
• 6:03
  Speaker 1: That, like, this is the one, this is who you should be with.
• 6:07
  Speaker 1: And again, mistakes happen.
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: Okay, that that's a whole nother story.
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: But in their case specifically, I don't know if the baby was a mistake, but they welcomed it, you know, with like love, and they were really happy about it.
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: And they did keep it a secret for a long time.
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: But, you know, it seems like it was something that they both agreed on and they both decided to to carry on with this so they can have a whole baby with her, start a family with her.
• 6:29
  Speaker 1: But he's not convinced yet that she is worthy enough to be married to him, and I do say worthy because he's deciding it for her right.
• 6:39
  Speaker 1: He's like, she's ready.
• 6:40
  Speaker 1: I'm sure Jhené is ready.
• 6:50
  Speaker 1: Okay, like, this is something that she's always wanted, right, and especially with Big Sean, do you not remember?
• 6:53
  Speaker 1: She had his whole face tatted on her arm, a portrait style of Big Sean on her arm, like if that doesn't tell you that someone is like you are my forever person.
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: You know not that I recommend that.
• 6:59
  Speaker 1: I would never do that.
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: I don't think that that's how you have to prove it, but just to show you that that's how much this girl is devoted to you.
• 7:06
  Speaker 1: To be like.
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: I will have your face on my arm and everywhere I go some men will see it Right, and no man should want to mess with a girl who's got a whole other man's face on her body.
• 7:17
  Speaker 1: Ok, something's wrong with you if you do that, because clearly she is, you know she's, she's got someone, but okay, again, he's like we've made a family together.
• 7:26
  Speaker 1: Still not.
• 7:27
  Speaker 1: Still can't put a ring on it, though.
• 7:30
  Speaker 2: You know, it's like it's a crazy.
• 7:32
  Speaker 2: It's a crazy connection because, no matter what, we're always going to be tied together, no matter what.
• 7:39
  Speaker 1: See right there.
• 7:39
  Speaker 2: No matter what?
• 7:40
  Speaker 1: we'll always be tied together and I'm thinking he's talking about the baby there, because they had the baby.
• 7:45
  Speaker 1: They'll always be tied together.
• 7:46
  Speaker 1: So if that's the case, then why are you so hesitant to give her the ring?
• 7:50
  Speaker 1: No matter what right, you got stuff to work on.
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: Well, isn't that worth working on?
• 7:54
  Speaker 1: You've already started the family.
• 7:56
  Speaker 1: Do put it on paper, you know, go forward, you'll work out.
• 8:00
  Speaker 1: Why wouldn't you work out?
• 8:01
  Speaker 1: Right, you love her, she loves you.
• 8:02
  Speaker 2: I mean okay, but all right, big sean, go on I think that that doesn't discount that, like she and me both have to be on the same page, not to say we aren't, but I feel, like I I I can only speak for myself yes, that there needs to be like more work done so we can keep going, because there's a lot of focus on our family, there's a lot of focus on careers and everything.
• 8:35
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 8:36
  Speaker 2: That is something that I feel like has not been the main focus.
• 8:41
  Speaker 1: I didn't understand what he said there.
• 8:42
  Speaker 1: I'm just figuring it out.
• 8:44
  Speaker 2: Oh now, look at you, charlotte, I'm just figuring it out.
• 8:46
  Speaker 2: Oh now, look at you, charlotte, I'm just asking a question.
• 8:47
  Speaker 1: So he asked him if he was like oh so y'all must not really be together right now and that's why you're talking like this.
• 8:53
  Speaker 1: And then he tries to say like no, you're picking something else up.
• 8:57
  Speaker 1: So who knows, if there's something like maybe they're not really fully together, but I don't think so.
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: I really do think.
• 9:02
  Speaker 1: I mean, she's doing music, she's on tour, right, he's been on stage with her recently, like they're definitely together.
• 9:09
  Speaker 1: But it's this idea that Big Sean is holding this ring from her and don't, I am never.
• 9:14
  Speaker 1: I don't believe that you should just get married because, like you're in that relationship, you've been together long enough.
• 9:19
  Speaker 1: Like, get married, no, absolutely not.
• 9:21
  Speaker 1: That's not what I'm saying.
• 9:22
  Speaker 1: If you are not ready for that, if you don't feel comfortable with that, I get it.
• 9:26
  Speaker 1: But if you are, if you're the woman in this type of relationship where you've been together for years, you know over six, seven, eight, coming up on a decade, and that man still hasn't given you a ring.
• 9:37
  Speaker 1: And there's always other reasons, right?
• 9:38
  Speaker 1: Oh, I don't have, I don't have the funds to get you the ring that I want, or, you know, I want to make more money before we do that, or whatever.
• 9:45
  Speaker 1: There's reasons that they give you, but it's something that you really want and you've both decided to be partners together.
• 9:56
  Speaker 1: I think it's a shame if you waste that time waiting for your partner to be ready for that and I think that's what Jhené's doing, even though they have a baby together.
• 10:01
  Speaker 1: Like girl, you are wasting these years waiting for Big Sean to give you that ring and give you that thing that you wanted, because if that's the vision that you see for your life, and especially you've given so many years to a partner, you should expect that ring, because I know that there are some girls who are like, have convinced themselves well, what's a paper mean?
• 10:21
  Speaker 1: And you'll hear men say this too the paper means nothing.
• 10:23
  Speaker 1: What is it putting it on paper?
• 10:31
  Speaker 1: Girls, there are a lot of benefits that come from being married and having it on paper, and you need to be thinking about the bigger picture of that, not just because like, oh, if he put a ring on it, this is something, it is special, but that's it.
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: No, you get benefits from it too, and you get more security from it.
• 10:43
  Speaker 1: Say he were to walk away from you, right, he can leave you with nothing.
• 10:47
  Speaker 1: If you're married, you have it on paper.
• 10:49
  Speaker 1: You'll be left with something right.
• 10:52
  Speaker 1: First of all, you also get tax benefits.
• 10:54
  Speaker 1: Okay, you'll you go into one household together if you're not already doing that, you know.
• 11:00
  Speaker 1: So your bills go down.
• 11:01
  Speaker 1: There's just financial benefits for you that you need to be thinking about long-term so that you're okay too, while you're giving this man your life, because studies also show that men gain more from relationships, let alone from marriage.
• 11:15
  Speaker 1: When they get into a relationship, they gain a housekeeper, a chef, a caretaker for the kids, who's taking the bulk work of that.
• 11:22
  Speaker 1: They're gaining a lot, even if it's not financial money from you.
• 11:26
  Speaker 1: They're gaining that from you and you need to be compensated for that, because you do need to have something.
• 11:32
  Speaker 1: Money matters when that relationship ends, and you got to think about that, because it's either you know both of you he leaves with something, you leave with nothing or at least you both leave with something, right.
• 11:43
  Speaker 1: I mean, think about that.
• 11:45
  Speaker 1: So there's benefits, there's so many benefits from that.
• 11:48
  Speaker 1: And again, not something to just do for the benefits, but you put in your time.
• 11:53
  Speaker 1: You need to be getting those benefits from it.
• 11:55
  Speaker 1: Like, don't, don't get caught up with that.
• 11:57
  Speaker 1: And sometimes men too want to hold you back like that, like maybe you know, eventually I'll give you a ring and then decide that you know what?
• 12:04
  Speaker 1: I don't want to be with you.
• 12:05
  Speaker 1: And here you go.
• 12:06
  Speaker 1: You wasted all these years waiting for him to be ready.
• 12:09
  Speaker 1: He no longer wants to be with you and now you are stuck, not feeling good about yourself, low self-esteem.
• 12:15
  Speaker 1: You know, did you take care of yourself during the time that you were with him?
• 12:18
  Speaker 1: Because now you're going to have to go back into the dating scene and you're gonna have to compete with other women, you know, who did take care of themselves.
• 12:24
  Speaker 1: These are all things that you need to be thinking about.
• 12:26
  Speaker 1: And again, it's not for the end of it, it's just to make sure that you are good because you are putting into it okay, even if you're not putting money into it, which I kind of see.
• 12:36
  Speaker 1: A lot of women you are and that's okay, but you need to make sure that you're safe on the other side of it.
• 12:41
  Speaker 1: So when I heard, heard him saying that I'm like Big Sean, you because here's the thing.
• 12:51
  Speaker 1: Oh, the other thing is that I didn't know this, but Big Sean proposed to Naya Rivera Remember he used to be with her, they were together.
• 12:54
  Speaker 1: They don't have any kids together, he proposed to her.
• 12:57
  Speaker 1: So what does that think about that?
• 12:59
  Speaker 1: He was with a woman, dated her enough, was ready to get married to her.
• 13:04
  Speaker 1: No kids together.
• 13:05
  Speaker 1: But yet here's Jhene Aiko.
• 13:07
  Speaker 1: She's put in all these years with him and he still can't see it in her.
• 13:10
  Speaker 1: He still can't see it.
• 13:12
  Speaker 1: You got to think about these things.
• 13:14
  Speaker 1: When these men give you these excuses, when these partners give you that excuse, it's like they say, if he wanted to, he would.
• 13:21
  Speaker 1: If he wanted to, he would.
• 13:23
  Speaker 1: He did with Naya Rivera, but he wouldn't do it for Jhené.
• 13:26
  Speaker 1: And again, naya didn't get a tattoo of his whole face on him.
• 13:29
  Speaker 1: I don't think she did.
• 13:30
  Speaker 1: I mean, if you get two women to put your face on them like kudos to you.
• 13:35
  Speaker 1: But I'm just saying Naya did a lot less and she was proposed to and given a ring.
• 13:39
  Speaker 1: So you got to think about those things.
• 13:41
  Speaker 1: Um, janae, I don't know she hasn't responded yet, but I bet you she is so mad right now like she is definitely feeling some cracks in their relationship if they weren't already.
• 13:52
  Speaker 1: She's definitely got to reconsider some things.
• 13:53
  Speaker 1: But maybe she won't because they just had a baby together.
• 13:56
  Speaker 1: So she's gonna think, oh well, I gotta stay with him, like we gotta keep this family together.
• 14:00
  Speaker 1: Okay, you're thinking about that, but is he thinking about that?
• 14:03
  Speaker 1: Is he thinking about keeping that?
• 14:04
  Speaker 1: Is he thinking about keeping that family together Because he won't give you the ring but he'll give you the baby and he'll technically probably always be there, right, like he's like we're tied together forever.
• 14:13
  Speaker 1: That doesn't mean that he's tied to you forever in the way that you want him to be tied to you.
• 14:18
  Speaker 1: So I found that so interesting.
• 14:21
  Speaker 1: And again, the title having the title of being a wife and a husband, it just holds more weight.
• 14:26
  Speaker 1: If that's something that you want, that title does hold more weight, right?
• 14:30
  Speaker 1: So versus you go, you've been together almost a decade, you're going around family.
• 14:34
  Speaker 1: He's got to introduce you as his girlfriend or his.
• 14:37
  Speaker 1: You know his wife, but then they look down at your hand and you don't have a ring on it.
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: Because I've been, um, I've known a relationship like that too, where the woman was like, oh, she would always refer to him as her husband.
• 14:47
  Speaker 1: So I always assumed I didn't even look at her hand, I just assumed that was her husband.
• 14:50
  Speaker 1: Later come to find out she would just call him that because she was like, no, he hasn't put a ring on it, but eventually he will.
• 14:55
  Speaker 1: And you know what happened with that.
• 14:57
  Speaker 1: Eventually she got tired of it.
• 14:59
  Speaker 1: Few years went by and she gave him an ultimatum.
• 15:02
  Speaker 1: She, she was like I have kids with you, I want to do forever with you.
• 15:06
  Speaker 1: If you do not give me that ring, I am gone.
• 15:08
  Speaker 1: And guess what Took about a year or two later.
• 15:12
  Speaker 1: But he put a ring on it.
• 15:13
  Speaker 1: Okay, so, and they're still happily married.
• 15:16
  Speaker 1: You know Whether it was forced or not, I don't know, but I think that they are happy.
• 15:23
  Speaker 1: But she had to say that right, because he was going to be comfortable with, like, not putting that ring there, with not making that kind of commitment.
• 15:31
  Speaker 1: And sometimes you do have to give that ultimatum.
• 15:33
  Speaker 1: It's like this is what I want, and again, it's about your vision.
• 15:36
  Speaker 1: If that's really something that's important to you, stand on that.
• 15:39
  Speaker 1: Do not waver.
• 15:41
  Speaker 1: Don't hold off, especially that many years of your life, girlfriend, because you could have already been living that wife life.
• 15:47
  Speaker 1: If that's, you know, something you saw for yourself and you're purposely like holding off, hoping that man will see it, and you're giving him too much of the power, like you have so much more power.
• 15:57
  Speaker 1: I promise you, and just mostly, it's just to like stick to what you said.
• 16:02
  Speaker 1: You know, stand on business, like they say for yourself.
• 16:06
  Speaker 1: You'll be happier that way, trust me.
• 16:08
  Speaker 1: Then you won't get embarrassed when they ask him why he hasn't married you and he's like we're still working on things.
• 16:13
  Speaker 1: And you're like, what?
• 16:14
  Speaker 1: Like what do you mean?
• 16:16
  Speaker 1: We're still working.
• 16:17
  Speaker 1: We're never going to stop working on things because you keep messing up.
• 16:26
  Speaker 1: I'm projecting here, I'm joking, but yes, I don't know if she's, she's probably gonna stay with him again, but, um, yeah, I think I thought that was so interesting that Big Sean had these kind of uh reasons to not get married.
• 16:34
  Speaker 1: And maybe you know something like have you been through this?
• 16:37
  Speaker 1: I have never felt like uh, being married.
• 16:41
  Speaker 1: Okay, thankfully, I've always felt like the the younger years are for when you to explore, you go chase your career, you do all those things.
• 16:47
  Speaker 1: But everyone's different, right?
• 16:48
  Speaker 1: Every woman, some women, that's like the goal is just to be married, to have that kid or kids, have the house and you know the picket fence, and that's okay too.
• 16:57
  Speaker 1: Like everyone's vision is different.
• 16:59
  Speaker 1: I just really want you to stand on whatever you saw for yourself.
• 17:02
  Speaker 1: Make it happen and on your time, you know, um, because otherwise you'll get played.
• 17:08
  Speaker 1: You don't want to get played, especially especially after giving him a child, which is a whole nother subject that I want to talk about, because I don't understand how, in 2024 ladies hear me out why are we giving these men the babies before the ring?
• 17:24
  Speaker 1: I don't get it.
• 17:26
  Speaker 1: Accidents happen, whatever, whatever.
• 17:27
  Speaker 1: That's different.
• 17:28
  Speaker 1: But you are willingly having a child with a man who hasn't put a ring on it.
• 17:32
  Speaker 1: That's backwards.
• 17:34
  Speaker 1: You're giving him a baby Like.
• 17:35
  Speaker 1: There's so much, it takes so much off on your body.
• 17:38
  Speaker 1: You know the time that it takes to heal from that and then you could go through postpartum depression.
• 17:43
  Speaker 1: There's just so many negatives that come with that pregnancy other than the.
• 17:47
  Speaker 1: You know the child is a beautiful thing, but your body goes through it, your mental goes through it and you're going to do all of that, give sacrifice.
• 17:54
  Speaker 1: You know that.
• 17:55
  Speaker 1: And then for what?
• 17:57
  Speaker 1: For him to maybe, maybe see it in you.
• 17:59
  Speaker 1: Maybe give you the ring, leave you, start a family with someone else, give her the ring, you know.
• 18:04
  Speaker 1: I think that's why, also, if you do see yourself that that's your forever partner, hold off on those children.
• 18:10
  Speaker 1: You will see, because children as beautiful, as amazing as they are, they, you know, there's a there's a lot of costs that come with that.
• 18:21
  Speaker 1: If you are wanting to build a career for yourself, a lot of women have to put that aside because they become, you know, career for yourself.
• 18:25
  Speaker 1: A lot of women have to put that aside because they become, you know the care, the main caretaker for the kids.
• 18:29
  Speaker 1: So it's all about doing things the right way.
• 18:31
  Speaker 1: If you really want to do this life thing right, and if you already have kids, don't even worry about it.
• 18:36
  Speaker 1: Sweetheart, you're past that.
• 18:37
  Speaker 1: Like this is what you the cards you were dealt do better.
• 18:40
  Speaker 1: Don't give the next man a child before the ring, you know.
• 18:43
  Speaker 1: So learn from it.
• 18:45
  Speaker 1: I never feel like something is so permanent that you can't learn from it and fix it or do better the next time.
• 18:50
  Speaker 1: But I do think that if you are childless right now, do not give a man a baby before the ring.
• 18:57
  Speaker 1: Just don't do it.
• 18:58
  Speaker 1: Trust me on this one.
• 18:59
  Speaker 1: Your life will be happier, easier, your goals will be more likely to be achieved if you do it this way, you know, and then you don't get stuck to someone that maybe you thought was the one for you and then you realize later like oh God, this guy's horrible.
• 19:14
  Speaker 1: Because even then a year is a good amount of time Still need to know that person more.
• 19:17
  Speaker 1: Two years is a really good amount of time to get to know someone.
• 19:21
  Speaker 1: I think after five years, if that's the person you really see yourself with, you definitely got to be like all right, and maybe some women might even say five years is way too long.
• 19:29
  Speaker 1: Again, it's all about like what you?
• 19:31
  Speaker 1: How bad do you, how quickly did you want to get married?
• 19:34
  Speaker 1: You know after you know the person, of course, responsibly.
• 19:38
  Speaker 1: Don't just jump in because you know sorry for the military wives.
• 19:43
  Speaker 1: I feel like that's something really common with with the military.
• 19:46
  Speaker 1: It's like they encourage you to hurry up and get married.
• 19:49
  Speaker 1: You know right away and then you get benefits from it, right.
• 19:52
  Speaker 1: So a lot of financial benefits come from that and I know a lot of people will get married so young.
• 19:57
  Speaker 1: But you don't know that person really yet and you haven't even fully developed into the woman you're going to become.
• 20:02
  Speaker 1: So don't, don't do it too soon.
• 20:04
  Speaker 1: I really feel like you got to give that time.
• 20:06
  Speaker 1: But what is that time?
• 20:08
  Speaker 1: What's that year mark for you.
• 20:10
  Speaker 1: What would you say?
• 20:10
  Speaker 1: Like, okay, this is the limit.
• 20:13
  Speaker 1: You know, I've known so many girls wait, wait, and then they do see a ring.
• 20:17
  Speaker 1: But again, this is like 10 years in and this is after a lot of ultimatums, a lot of you know.
• 20:23
  Speaker 1: This is it, this is it.
• 20:25
  Speaker 1: It's now or never.
• 20:26
  Speaker 1: It's now or never, you know.
• 20:27
  Speaker 1: And who wants to force the man to do it that way?
• 20:29
  Speaker 1: Like, if I have to give you an ultimatum, did you really even want me like that, like no, you know, I think the man should know and he knows, honey, he knows if he wants to marry you or not.
• 20:42
  Speaker 1: That is not a question that crosses his mind.
• 20:43
  Speaker 1: If he's prolonging it, I feel like there's several different reasons why, but one is he doesn't see it in you.
• 20:49
  Speaker 1: Okay, he really doesn't want to marry you because of whatever reasons.
• 20:53
  Speaker 1: So he's holding off, hoping that maybe that doesn't work out, he finds someone else, or he's really just I don't know.
• 20:59
  Speaker 1: What is it?
• 20:59
  Speaker 1: Is it men for you who won't give that woman the ring?
• 21:03
  Speaker 1: What is it?
• 21:04
  Speaker 1: And don't say it's because you have stuff to work on, because if you talk to married couples, they never stop the work, it never stops.
• 21:09
  Speaker 1: There's no perfect relationship, right?
• 21:11
  Speaker 1: So, aside from that, what is it why and I'm not saying you know a new relationship?
• 21:17
  Speaker 1: Of course, take your time, but once you've decided, like you, really this is the person that you're in love with, why not put that ring on it?
• 21:28
  Speaker 1: And um, you know, and if you are the woman that wants to get married and he's the guy that's like I do not care about a ring whatsoever, I don't care.
• 21:31
  Speaker 1: If I ever get married I've heard men say that then you probably shouldn't be with that man, because you're gonna try to make him marry you and you're gonna have to force him to do it.
• 21:40
  Speaker 1: And I'm telling you it's not gonna feel good when the next man who will love you and wants to be with you will do it without you even thinking.
• 21:47
  Speaker 1: Plan the whole thing for you.
• 21:50
  Speaker 1: Do a really nice proposal, something really unique.
• 21:54
  Speaker 1: You've seen all the Remember when that trend was going around with all the guys were doing these really extravagant proposals.
• 22:00
  Speaker 1: Do you remember the guy that did a Bruno Mars?
• 22:03
  Speaker 1: It was a.
• 22:04
  Speaker 1: I think I want to marry you and he had like a whole group of people choreographed and there was a car on the street where they were like dancing with it and writing, ghostwriting the whip, and he's like doing records, this whole thing for her just to ask her to marry him.
• 22:20
  Speaker 1: You know, and I like that, I like that energy into the proposal.
• 22:25
  Speaker 1: Right, like he thought about it, he really was excited about it and I would think you would want that too, you know.
• 22:31
  Speaker 1: But if you want the forced ring, by all means I don't condone that.
• 22:37
  Speaker 1: I just wouldn't feel good about it myself.
• 22:39
  Speaker 1: But that's just me and again, I mean, maybe I just no, I stand on that.
• 22:45
  Speaker 1: That is the way to do it.
• 22:47
  Speaker 1: So, who knows what's going to happen with Big Sean and Jhene Aiko?
• 22:51
  Speaker 1: But if you're going through something like this and you've been in that relationship for this many years, I think you got to have that conversation and unfortunately, if you got to give the ultimatum, you got to give it.
• 23:01
  Speaker 1: But at least you'll get your answer right, like what is it?
• 23:04
  Speaker 1: And ask him why won't you put a ring on it?
• 23:07
  Speaker 1: Oh, the paper doesn't mean anything to me.
• 23:09
  Speaker 1: Well, you know what that?
• 23:17
  Speaker 1: Well, you know what.
• 23:17
  Speaker 1: That's not fair to me.
• 23:17
  Speaker 1: Okay, that's what you gotta tell him.
• 23:18
  Speaker 1: That's not fair to me, because there's a lot of benefits that come from this, and this is something that I really want and I know I want to be with you.
• 23:21
  Speaker 1: So what is stopping you from knowing that with me?
• 23:22
  Speaker 1: You got to answer that and he's got to have the answer for that question, because if he doesn't and he if he doesn't tell you you know, I don't know or I just don't then you need to be the one to walk away from it and not force his hand into it.
• 23:35
  Speaker 1: It's just not going to work.
• 23:38
  Speaker 1: To me that's like a bad sign for the future.
• 23:40
  Speaker 1: Even if he gives you that ring, it doesn't mean he really wanted to or that he sees himself.
• 23:47
  Speaker 1: Even maybe he might give you the ring and then you never make it to the altar.
• 23:49
  Speaker 1: Like there's that that happens too.
• 23:52
  Speaker 1: You know the ring doesn't.
• 23:55
  Speaker 1: The engagement ring doesn't even ensure that you'll make it to the altar.
• 23:56
  Speaker 1: Like there's that that happens too.
• 23:57
  Speaker 1: You know the ring doesn't.
• 23:58
  Speaker 1: The engagement ring doesn't even ensure that you'll make it to the wedding day.
• 23:59
  Speaker 1: But it's, it's a process, right, and you can get that going.
• 24:02
  Speaker 1: Take care of yourselves and really read between those lines of when that man tells you he doesn't want to marry you yet, right?
• 24:10
  Speaker 1: Or the excuse of I don't have the money for it, no it, no.
• 24:14
  Speaker 1: No, he needs to be saving up for it.
• 24:16
  Speaker 1: That's not a reason.
• 24:17
  Speaker 1: That should not be the reason.
• 24:18
  Speaker 1: Like, and so many women will be like, I don't even care about the size of the ring.
• 24:22
  Speaker 1: I know some women who have gotten tattoos on their fingers just of a ring to symbolize the ring right, and that was happy, that was good enough for them, you know?
• 24:31
  Speaker 1: Um, so if it's about the money thing and no, I don't think that that's a really good excuse.
• 24:38
  Speaker 1: Now, if the woman is like no, I want the nice ring, I want the nice wedding, okay, well then, he needs to be.
• 24:43
  Speaker 1: You know, budgeting for that, figuring that out in the meantime, right, but just because of that, no, that's not, that's not a real excuse.
• 24:51
  Speaker 1: And, man, you need to retire it.
• 24:53
  Speaker 1: Okay, like, stop it.
• 24:54
  Speaker 1: It's a lie, you're lying to her and I'm calling you out for it.
• 24:58
  Speaker 1: So I'm Brittany Gonzalez.
• 25:01
  Speaker 1: This is the Brunch with Brittany podcast.
• 25:02
  Speaker 1: Again, it's a girl's girl podcast.
• 25:04
  Speaker 1: Follow it.
• 25:05
  Speaker 1: I'm on YouTube, tiktok, instagram, all platforms.
• 25:10
  Speaker 1: Iheartradio okay.
• 25:12
  Speaker 1: Apple Music Brunch with Britney hit.
• 25:15
  Speaker 1: Follow.
• 25:16
  Speaker 1: Share this with someone who needs to hear this.
• 25:17
  Speaker 1: Okay, with what big Sean and Jhene Aigo are going through, or is it you?
• 25:20
  Speaker 1: Um, I hope you learned something from this.
• 25:22
  Speaker 1: Leave.
• 25:23
  Speaker 1: Leave any comments in the comment section, your thoughts.
• 25:26
  Speaker 1: I want to know am I?
• 25:27
  Speaker 1: Am I being too harsh on this?
• 25:28
  Speaker 1: Because I don't think so, but you can leave those comments.
• 25:32
  Speaker 1: Drop them below.
• 25:33
  Speaker 1: Thanks for brunching with me.
• 25:35
  Speaker 1: Cheers.