Latest / Two Doting Dads with Matty J & Ash / #98 Upstaging Kids Parties And A Sushi Poo Saga

Transcript

#98 Upstaging Kids Parties And A Sushi Poo Saga · Two Doting Dads with Matty J & Ash

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: I was humiliated. It was an embarrassment that I've not
• 0:05
  Speaker 1: experienced on took the bins out, took the bins out.
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: The bin that's the most confusing is the green bin.
• 0:12
  Speaker 2: For the vegetation.
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: And I had it full to the brim and I
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: looked around it no green bins on the street. And
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: I swear I checked the calendar, and I was like, well,
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: joke's on you guys. And as I was taking in,
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: my neighbor looked at me as I was retreating back
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: home with a full green bin. Oh no, oh, the embarrassment.
• 0:33
  Speaker 2: So you got it wrong?
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: Did I get it wrong? Or did the council get
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: it wrong?
• 0:37
  Speaker 2: Luckily, the people across the street from my house, their
• 0:38
  Speaker 2: bins are out like three days before, because there's just
• 0:41
  Speaker 2: the two old fuddy duddies that barely fill them up.
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: Three days before.
• 0:45
  Speaker 2: Yeah, usually my garbage goes in their bins.
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: Welcome back to two noting dads. I happen to be Maddie.
• 1:07
  Speaker 2: Jay Man, I'm ash and this also happens to be
• 1:10
  Speaker 2: a podcast all about parenting. It is the good, it
• 1:13
  Speaker 2: is the bad and the related.
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: And if you come wanting any advice, I'm really sorry.
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: To tell you that it will not be given on
• 1:19
  Speaker 1: this podcast. No, certainly, not at all, never today at all.
• 1:25
  Speaker 2: Not not this episode. No, no, not any episode. Don't
• 1:29
  Speaker 2: you accuse me? What do you got there?
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: This is a beer ash bazaar, And don't pretend.
• 1:36
  Speaker 2: Like you don't know what it is. You know exactly
• 1:38
  Speaker 2: what's salivating.
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: It's ruling. You're like a starving lion looking at the
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: carcass of a hippopotamus. I shouldn't I shouldn't have gone hippo,
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: should have gone gazelle.
• 1:50
  Speaker 2: You should have done something? And I was like, go
• 1:53
  Speaker 2: on with the extra synonym.
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: How you and me have podcast idea with a lack
• 2:02
  Speaker 1: of ability to talk. It's a real mystery. I what
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: I was trying to say is you are salivating.
• 2:07
  Speaker 2: I am salivating. I'm also reminiscing of a simpler time
• 2:11
  Speaker 2: called the weekend, yes, in which we were able to
• 2:14
  Speaker 2: enjoy a couple of these something a little bit different
• 2:18
  Speaker 2: to what we're usually drinking from Stonewood, which is the
• 2:20
  Speaker 2: hazy pale al. It is the hazy pale ale to
• 2:24
  Speaker 2: step up from the pacific ale.
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: Let's crack it one second, yeah, okist.
• 2:28
  Speaker 2: Little cheers, cheers, my friend.
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: Yeah, we were down the beach. It was a little
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: bit windy, but it was still lovely to have the
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: sand in between my toes. You and me, we're looking
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: out to the horizon as the sun was setting, enjoying
• 2:42
  Speaker 1: a beer as Laura chased after four kids, four children
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: on our own, April decided not to come down because
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: she was like, it's far too windy.
• 2:50
  Speaker 2: She can't do to go to the beach. So Laura,
• 2:54
  Speaker 2: she was on beer patrol. She was cracking the beers
• 2:56
  Speaker 2: and handing them down.
• 2:58
  Speaker 1: Hey, here's a question for you. What is a hazy
• 3:01
  Speaker 1: pale ale?
• 3:04
  Speaker 2: Isn't it just a pale al but hazy.
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: You have technically answered the question. Hazy pale ale ash
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: it has some juicy or citrus notes to it.
• 3:13
  Speaker 2: Oh, I can taste them. Actually, now this one in particular,
• 3:18
  Speaker 2: Man from Stone and Wood, was temporary in the range
• 3:22
  Speaker 2: and now it is core range because it is soap popular.
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: It is delicious.
• 3:25
  Speaker 2: It is delicious. Here's my friend, cheers to you. And
• 3:28
  Speaker 2: this is available in all good bottle shops and pubs
• 3:30
  Speaker 2: on tap or you can get it online. And of
• 3:33
  Speaker 2: course we'd like to thank stone Wood for providing the beers.
• 3:36
  Speaker 2: For the episode. Let's get into it.
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: Matt recently I invited you along to an event which
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: you didn't come to. Do you remember it's a band
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: called Diversity. Now, for anyone who is not familiar Diversity,
• 3:53
  Speaker 1: it is Meadow Kine. Oh yes, KRP music. Yes, yes, yes,
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: they come together. They do kids music. It's very very
• 4:01
  Speaker 1: very good. Okay, it's very very good. Mattow Kind invited me.
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: This is way back in the day. To give some context,
• 4:09
  Speaker 1: matdow Kind invited me to one of their gigs. This
• 4:11
  Speaker 1: is when Marley was a lot younger. I didn't know
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: their music, and I thought I'll be polite and say sure,
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: I'll come along to your gig. We went, and Marley
• 4:20
  Speaker 1: was obsessed. Right for two years now she has loved them.
• 4:26
  Speaker 1: Have you know that you know their songs? No, I'm
• 4:28
  Speaker 1: not overly familiar. Like, let me give you a little taste.
• 4:34
  Speaker 2: I'm sorry that I couldn't make it.
• 4:36
  Speaker 1: I understand, and to be honest, you did the right thing.
• 4:39
  Speaker 2: Okay, go on.
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: So Diversity have a new song. After a twelve month hiatus,
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: they have been back in the recording studio and they
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: have a brand new banger.
• 4:50
  Speaker 2: Highly anticipated.
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: Marley was off her rocker when she found out that
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: they have a new song. Like all good songs now
• 4:58
  Speaker 1: they require a dance video. Yeah yeah, And they said
• 5:03
  Speaker 1: it's like a boiler rooms set up where we'd like
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: to inviting kids down to where we're holding.
• 5:09
  Speaker 2: The get on the heavy narcotics.
• 5:11
  Speaker 1: We're going to give them a lot of cocaine and
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: film it. And that's the film clip. You didn't come
• 5:16
  Speaker 1: with Macy. Totally understandable if she's not a fan. We
• 5:20
  Speaker 1: didn't want to there in the first place. It was
• 5:22
  Speaker 1: actually my fault that we couldn't make it go on.
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: I have thrown my back out the night before doing
• 5:29
  Speaker 1: some extra curricular activities.
• 5:31
  Speaker 2: Shag us back.
• 5:32
  Speaker 1: Is that what it was? The whole time, I'm like,
• 5:34
  Speaker 1: what's caused? And you're like, I don't know. It's a mystery.
• 5:37
  Speaker 2: We'll never know Shager's back.
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: Meanwhile, April was just sitting there with a guilty looking
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: her face.
• 5:42
  Speaker 2: Yeah right, No, it was legit and I couldn't drive
• 5:47
  Speaker 2: that far. Poor Macey, she missed out, but she didn't
• 5:49
  Speaker 2: really know.
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: It was a long way and so we we knew
• 5:53
  Speaker 1: there were going to be a few kids there, didn't
• 5:55
  Speaker 1: know how many but all week Marley and Lola were
• 5:59
  Speaker 1: so excited about the fact that they get to see diversity.
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: Marley kind of understands now that you know music videos
• 6:07
  Speaker 1: are a thing. She's like, I'm going to be in
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: a music video and I was like, fuck, yeah you are.
• 6:12
  Speaker 1: That's wild. Isn't that cool? And even in the lead
• 6:15
  Speaker 1: up too. One afternoon, after I picked the girls up
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: from daycare, we called kop music Christy for those playing
• 6:21
  Speaker 1: at home, and Marley was like, holy shit. She's like,
• 6:26
  Speaker 1: was that the Christie?
• 6:27
  Speaker 2: And I was like, yeah, sure was. That's a sort
• 6:29
  Speaker 2: of pool your old man has around here.
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: I was thrilled that I was able to enable something
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: that would make my kids so happy.
• 6:36
  Speaker 2: Oh that's great. So you took them both on your own,
• 6:38
  Speaker 2: on my own, Okay, that's wow. Okay.
• 6:40
  Speaker 1: Went out to the Factory Theater, great live music venue
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: where the film clip was being filmed. One little issue, ash,
• 6:50
  Speaker 1: one little issue. Sydney traffic is very bad. No, yeah, yeah,
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: shark horror for those of you who don't live in Sydney.
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: It's a fucking nightmare. And it was like thirty or something,
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: three thirty. I checked it in maps. How long it
• 7:04
  Speaker 1: would take. I checked at about twelve o'clock. I said
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: half an hour, so I was like, great, half an hour,
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: that's all I need. Picked up the kids earlier from
• 7:13
  Speaker 1: daycare on the road at three o'clock. School traffic. Oh,
• 7:18
  Speaker 1: half an hour, all of a sudden, looks like forty minutes.
• 7:21
  Speaker 1: All of a sudden, ash forty five minutes. So we're
• 7:25
  Speaker 1: late to the film clip. The issue that this causes
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: is that any transition to a new environment with kids
• 7:32
  Speaker 1: is a bit scary, and you don't ever want to
• 7:34
  Speaker 1: be like the last person as we arrive in, like
• 7:37
  Speaker 1: we parked the car, we race in.
• 7:39
  Speaker 2: It's kind of like when you go meet up with
• 7:40
  Speaker 2: your mates at the par when they've been there for
• 7:42
  Speaker 2: hours and you've got to play catch up. Yes, but
• 7:44
  Speaker 2: they're like, I've got to get from my somber mood
• 7:47
  Speaker 2: in the cast. Maybe a sleep on the way.
• 7:50
  Speaker 1: Okay, look, I'm glad you said it. Okay, Both kids
• 7:54
  Speaker 1: doze off because the traffic's so bad. So I'm staring
• 7:58
  Speaker 1: down the barrel of a nightmare scenario. I'm late. I
• 8:02
  Speaker 1: gotta wake the kids up. They've only been asleep for
• 8:04
  Speaker 1: like twenty minutes, and I'm going to throw them into
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: like a boiler rooms set.
• 8:08
  Speaker 2: Up to play catch up, to play catch up.
• 8:12
  Speaker 1: As we walk in there and they've already started filming
• 8:15
  Speaker 1: and the song, the song is like a techno song.
• 8:18
  Speaker 1: It's like high energy. Also, the kids are a little
• 8:23
  Speaker 1: bit older. There's not many five year olds. It's like
• 8:25
  Speaker 1: there are a couple of five year olds, but there's
• 8:27
  Speaker 1: a lot of like seven, eight, nine. There's even a
• 8:29
  Speaker 1: ten year old kid there. So what do you do?
• 8:34
  Speaker 2: Just trying to make friends? I'm like, all right, kids,
• 8:38
  Speaker 2: they go in and dance, and they were like fuck that.
• 8:43
  Speaker 2: Oh man.
• 8:43
  Speaker 1: They were like clinging onto me for like their life
• 8:46
  Speaker 1: dependent on it.
• 8:47
  Speaker 2: Especially it's not like your usual environment, like no.
• 8:50
  Speaker 1: No, Like all of a sudden they wake up. Next thing,
• 8:53
  Speaker 1: they're in the factory theater. Ladies are blaring smoke Machines's
• 8:57
  Speaker 1: Monkey and they were like, there is no way they're
• 9:00
  Speaker 1: going to do it like dance on stage. And I
• 9:03
  Speaker 1: was like, but this is what you wanted.
• 9:06
  Speaker 2: Do you know what it's giving. Have you seen that
• 9:07
  Speaker 2: Friend's episode where there it's like a New Year's Eve
• 9:11
  Speaker 2: dance party that's on TV.
• 9:14
  Speaker 1: They give them the camera stay loose.
• 9:18
  Speaker 2: They're like trying so hard to get on camera.
• 9:20
  Speaker 1: Yeah. This the thing is, they were like the film
• 9:26
  Speaker 1: clips being filmed on stage. Moli and Lawla are still
• 9:29
  Speaker 1: like I walked into the room, being like, they will
• 9:31
  Speaker 1: follow me in if I come in. They're like following
• 9:34
  Speaker 1: They were standing in the doorway. I am not coming over.
• 9:40
  Speaker 1: I gave it an hour. An hour, yeah, because I
• 9:43
  Speaker 1: thought I'll let them warm into it, climatize.
• 9:47
  Speaker 2: They just get worse worse in the environment.
• 9:49
  Speaker 1: They fucking did not want a bar of it.
• 9:51
  Speaker 2: How many times did you have to hear the song?
• 9:54
  Speaker 1: Well, that was fine, The song was great. Is it Monday? No,
• 9:57
  Speaker 1: it's Tuesday?
• 9:58
  Speaker 2: No? Is it Wednesday? Now? I don't think it sounds
• 10:00
  Speaker 2: a bit repetitive to me, like all good children's music,
• 10:05
  Speaker 2: very repetible.
• 10:05
  Speaker 1: And then Mary was like, I think I want to
• 10:07
  Speaker 1: go home, and I was like, fair enough, we'll go home.
• 10:09
  Speaker 1: And then in the car then she started crying because
• 10:11
  Speaker 1: she's like, I missed the film? Will I be in
• 10:14
  Speaker 1: the film clip?
• 10:14
  Speaker 2: And I was like, well not, well really, you've actually
• 10:17
  Speaker 2: got to get involved, kid, And so.
• 10:19
  Speaker 1: Then they were in tears. The fact that they ruined
• 10:23
  Speaker 1: the opportunity.
• 10:24
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's funny they do that isn't it. I was
• 10:26
  Speaker 2: just done the same thing where it's like he's just
• 10:28
  Speaker 2: been too scared to do something, and that's fine. You're
• 10:30
  Speaker 2: allowed to be scared. I think if I can talk
• 10:33
  Speaker 2: you into even just getting involved a little bit, but
• 10:35
  Speaker 2: then like he'll be we'll be in the car on
• 10:37
  Speaker 2: the way home and he'll be real sulky.
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: Didn't help that. I was like, that's your one chance
• 10:41
  Speaker 1: to be to show his kid.
• 10:43
  Speaker 2: And you ruined its stage. Dad, You're an embarrassment to
• 10:47
  Speaker 2: the family.
• 10:48
  Speaker 1: So yeah, you you didn't miss out on anything, dude.
• 10:52
  Speaker 2: And look the solo going taking them solo? Is you
• 10:55
  Speaker 2: spent every Thursday with both kids. I usually only spend
• 11:00
  Speaker 2: Monday and Thursdays with Macie only because Oscar goes full
• 11:03
  Speaker 2: time except for school holidays.
• 11:06
  Speaker 1: It's an interesting time, isn't it? School?
• 11:08
  Speaker 2: And I do feel for all the parents out there
• 11:10
  Speaker 2: for me.
• 11:10
  Speaker 1: Can we can we give a moment to the parents
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: out moment of silence?
• 11:13
  Speaker 2: There you go, that's enough. I only have to deal
• 11:15
  Speaker 2: with it for three days of the week because the
• 11:17
  Speaker 2: other two days he does go to a different daycare.
• 11:19
  Speaker 1: Because you're the community daycare.
• 11:21
  Speaker 2: Yeah, they do same school holidays, as school, that's a nightmare.
• 11:25
  Speaker 1: Well you need to find a better daycare.
• 11:26
  Speaker 2: Bro. No, it's actually not bad to ease into it,
• 11:29
  Speaker 2: right because next year I'll have him two weeks straight
• 11:32
  Speaker 2: at home. What are you going to do then? What
• 11:33
  Speaker 2: are we going to do? Then I'm leaving the country, bro,
• 11:37
  Speaker 2: I'm just out of here. They can suspend for themselves.
• 11:39
  Speaker 1: This morning when I drop the kids off. I forgot
• 11:41
  Speaker 1: that at school on holidays obviously for me, my kids
• 11:43
  Speaker 1: are in school yet. But it's when I see the
• 11:45
  Speaker 1: other parents dropping off the younger kids with the bigger
• 11:48
  Speaker 1: kids who are normally at school in tow and I'm like, oh,
• 11:51
  Speaker 1: that's right, and I'm like, hey, HOWI And.
• 11:52
  Speaker 2: They're like a get away from how do you think
• 11:55
  Speaker 2: I am? I got to this pose kid for two
• 11:58
  Speaker 2: weeks straight every ten weeks as well. It's like a
• 12:01
  Speaker 2: camp down to it. But yeah, so like you're on
• 12:03
  Speaker 2: Mondays now during school holidays, because I obviously share it
• 12:07
  Speaker 2: with April, I have both kids. And that was yesterday.
• 12:09
  Speaker 1: You're a great dad, by the way, Thank you, one
• 12:11
  Speaker 1: of the best.
• 12:12
  Speaker 2: Thank you. I really appreciate that. First thing was I
• 12:15
  Speaker 2: was swimming on Monday mornings. That was out of the way.
• 12:18
  Speaker 2: The best thing about him do swimming is I don't
• 12:19
  Speaker 2: need to get in the water like I do with Maysie.
• 12:21
  Speaker 2: Fantasticful love that except for the swimming center. It's so
• 12:26
  Speaker 2: hot in there. I don't know why. It's like a sauna.
• 12:29
  Speaker 2: So all of a sudden, I walk outside where it's
• 12:32
  Speaker 2: like fifteen degree.
• 12:33
  Speaker 1: Do you run hot or cold?
• 12:34
  Speaker 2: What do you? I run hot?
• 12:35
  Speaker 3: Do you?
• 12:35
  Speaker 2: But I'm outside and it's cold, and I'm like, I've
• 12:38
  Speaker 2: got to jump in and pans. And then by the
• 12:39
  Speaker 2: time I was just finished swimming, I'm sweating like a pig.
• 12:41
  Speaker 2: In that place, I'm like having I'm having my own shower.
• 12:44
  Speaker 1: And everyone's like, why is that man sitting there like
• 12:47
  Speaker 1: hyper ventilating with beads and sweat coming down his brow
• 12:51
  Speaker 1: with no kids? You have children here, right, yes, I promise.
• 12:56
  Speaker 2: I decided to take them down to the local basketball
• 12:58
  Speaker 2: courts to ride the scooters around again. Great dad, thank you.
• 13:02
  Speaker 2: The bar, Thank you. The bar is very low, but
• 13:05
  Speaker 2: I don't really care because I didn't set the bar.
• 13:07
  Speaker 2: I'm just hitting it. It was three o'clock in the
• 13:11
  Speaker 2: afternoon and I'm like, it is too late for lunch.
• 13:14
  Speaker 2: But I haven't eat lunch and I'm actually getting hungry,
• 13:16
  Speaker 2: and I was like, hey, should we go get some sushi?
• 13:18
  Speaker 2: Just maybe a little sushi snack. Anyway, we went down
• 13:22
  Speaker 2: to the local sushi restaurant, the one we wanted to go.
• 13:25
  Speaker 2: Who was close? Not good enough?
• 13:28
  Speaker 1: Very awkward time. Also, can I just not to question
• 13:31
  Speaker 1: your parenting after giving you so much praise very close
• 13:33
  Speaker 1: to dinner time?
• 13:34
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I thought I could roll it into one. You
• 13:36
  Speaker 2: guys are a five thirty dinner kind of family. Yeah, yeah,
• 13:39
  Speaker 2: I thought I could roll it into one. If I
• 13:41
  Speaker 2: feed them enough sushi, then they can maybe have some
• 13:44
  Speaker 2: fruit or something before they go to bed, which was
• 13:46
  Speaker 2: the case, and that works tactically good, tachnically work. So
• 13:49
  Speaker 2: we walked around to another one, okay, and we walked in.
• 13:53
  Speaker 2: There's no one in there. And I said to the
• 13:55
  Speaker 2: guy you open? He said, yeah, you want to sit
• 13:57
  Speaker 2: in and take away? Blah blah blah.
• 13:58
  Speaker 1: Sure, there's like an open sign on the door.
• 14:01
  Speaker 2: I didn't see it. The door was open, but it
• 14:03
  Speaker 2: was dead interesting, don't question me.
• 14:06
  Speaker 1: What did you order?
• 14:07
  Speaker 2: Some baby roll some hand rolls, A bit of a
• 14:09
  Speaker 2: combination of everything. It's pretty good.
• 14:11
  Speaker 1: Your kids salmon or tuna.
• 14:13
  Speaker 2: Neither chicken chicken, and avo is like the go to.
• 14:17
  Speaker 2: Oscar loves avocado sushi with this soy sauce that he
• 14:20
  Speaker 2: does trying to make this creepy. And we're sitting there
• 14:26
  Speaker 2: and Oscar goes, Daddy, I need to pooh. Okay, a
• 14:32
  Speaker 2: bit of an awkward time. We're mid eating. Have you
• 14:35
  Speaker 2: eaten so much as started to push the poop out
• 14:37
  Speaker 2: of your butt? Can you hold it?
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: He's regular?
• 14:39
  Speaker 2: Are you like busting to take a shit? Or is
• 14:41
  Speaker 2: it like the first initial instinct of I need this ship?
• 14:44
  Speaker 2: Where are we at? Can you wait until we're just
• 14:46
  Speaker 2: about to finish here and go home? We comput at home.
• 14:49
  Speaker 2: I'm trying to gauze where he's at.
• 14:50
  Speaker 1: That's a big variant. So do you need a poo now?
• 14:53
  Speaker 1: Or can we wait till tomorrow? Because can you wait
• 14:57
  Speaker 1: for your mum's here?
• 14:58
  Speaker 2: Yeah? Yeah? Can you wait someone's here who want to
• 15:00
  Speaker 2: wipe your bum? Because there's been times where he's been like, oh,
• 15:03
  Speaker 2: I need to pooh and I'm busting, and then I'll
• 15:05
  Speaker 2: take him to the toilet. We'll get there and he'll
• 15:06
  Speaker 2: be like, oh, actually, I don't need to and I'm like,
• 15:10
  Speaker 2: you will shit, you will shit. I will squeeze it
• 15:13
  Speaker 2: out of you. Boy. I said to Okay, where are
• 15:17
  Speaker 2: we at on the scout and he goes, oh, yeah,
• 15:19
  Speaker 2: I could probably wait. I was like, okay, cool, because
• 15:21
  Speaker 2: just keep in mind.
• 15:22
  Speaker 1: I've got some hand rolls coming and I'm really peckish.
• 15:24
  Speaker 2: I've also got Macy I've ordered to be out, so yeah, okay.
• 15:27
  Speaker 2: It was just me an Oscar. I'd be like, okay,
• 15:29
  Speaker 2: well this is easy. I could wrap this up and
• 15:30
  Speaker 2: go logistically, I've got to move our whole what's going
• 15:35
  Speaker 2: on here?
• 15:35
  Speaker 1: Were you worried that if Macy saw Oscar do a
• 15:38
  Speaker 1: poo then she would have to do a pood then
• 15:39
  Speaker 1: you'd be there for like a couple hours.
• 15:41
  Speaker 2: No, My concerned was this, how desperate are you? And
• 15:45
  Speaker 2: are you gaslighting me? Then he continued eating and it
• 15:47
  Speaker 2: was fine for about one second and then I look
• 15:50
  Speaker 2: over and he's like.
• 15:55
  Speaker 1: Rinsing in the face and I'm like, are you okay?
• 15:57
  Speaker 2: He's like yeah, I'm just busting.
• 16:00
  Speaker 1: I'm like for a poop.
• 16:02
  Speaker 2: He's like yeah, and he's like holding his butt on. No,
• 16:06
  Speaker 2: have you just shot yourself? Just like his father, it's
• 16:09
  Speaker 2: been ages since I shit myself to Oscar picked up
• 16:14
  Speaker 2: and I was like, oh okay, but like you just
• 16:16
  Speaker 2: said to me, you can hold it, but it was
• 16:19
  Speaker 2: trying to appease me, and I'm like, oh fuck. I
• 16:21
  Speaker 2: said to the guy, do you have a toilet, because
• 16:24
  Speaker 2: you know, with restaurants, especially like a strip of shops,
• 16:27
  Speaker 2: usually what the case is they share and they.
• 16:30
  Speaker 1: Give you the big spatula and the sign that says
• 16:33
  Speaker 1: I'm about to do a ship.
• 16:34
  Speaker 2: And he said, you gotta then walk out to the toilet.
• 16:36
  Speaker 2: Look at me, everybody. He goes, oh, yeah, we've got
• 16:41
  Speaker 2: a toilet. He handed me the key. Here's the key.
• 16:43
  Speaker 2: Was it a spatula, big spatchelor And he said, okay,
• 16:46
  Speaker 2: So yeah, it's easy. You just go out the door.
• 16:49
  Speaker 2: You walk up to the end of the street, you
• 16:51
  Speaker 2: go all the way round the back, and then in
• 16:53
  Speaker 2: between the dry cleaner and the Indian restaurant there's a
• 16:56
  Speaker 2: small alleyway. You go down there, down the set of
• 16:59
  Speaker 2: steps and then it's the door on the right. Jump
• 17:03
  Speaker 2: on the three three eight bus. No, we're closer, can't
• 17:05
  Speaker 2: you say? I'm on my own. I've got two kids.
• 17:07
  Speaker 2: Because taking Oscar means I can't leave Macy leave the restaurant.
• 17:11
  Speaker 1: Just say, can you just watch Macy's cry her eyes out?
• 17:14
  Speaker 1: She has no where she is.
• 17:16
  Speaker 2: Sheol to cry her eyes out. So the next minute
• 17:18
  Speaker 2: I'm like, okay, well I'm taking this particularly I was
• 17:19
  Speaker 2: just gonna shot his pants. I have.
• 17:22
  Speaker 1: Then, hang on, did you not think I've got nappies
• 17:26
  Speaker 1: here for me?
• 17:27
  Speaker 2: Don't you didn't bring nappies. They're in the car.
• 17:29
  Speaker 1: Just get a nappy from the car and put it
• 17:31
  Speaker 1: on an oscar and tell them shit in the corner.
• 17:32
  Speaker 2: He wouldn't do it. Try he doesn't have to shore
• 17:36
  Speaker 2: all right, So I got the key, picked up Macy pick.
• 17:40
  Speaker 2: At this point, we've dined and dashed. We've left the restaurant,
• 17:43
  Speaker 2: left all the food there because I've had to walk
• 17:46
  Speaker 2: oscar up to do a shit. Okay, so I'm walking
• 17:50
  Speaker 2: up the street. We finally find this toilet. I unlock it.
• 17:53
  Speaker 2: It's this horrible public toilet. Walk in the toilet. There's
• 17:58
  Speaker 2: no toilet paper on one store and I was like,
• 18:00
  Speaker 2: there's a cockerroach a toilet. And as course as he's
• 18:03
  Speaker 2: his mother's son, looking for any scap of uncleanliness to
• 18:08
  Speaker 2: delay anything whatsoever, and then he's looking at the toilet
• 18:12
  Speaker 2: and he's standing there and I've put Macie down and
• 18:15
  Speaker 2: he's like looking at the toilet, and I was like,
• 18:17
  Speaker 2: get on it. He was like, oh shit, I'm trying.
• 18:20
  Speaker 1: And then that's not going to encourage anyone to ship
• 18:22
  Speaker 1: if you talk to them like that.
• 18:23
  Speaker 2: I just wanted to right now. He was like, he
• 18:28
  Speaker 2: wasn't even on the toilet, he was scanning the area.
• 18:31
  Speaker 1: You give the kid anxiety, you need him to relax,
• 18:34
  Speaker 1: just scanning, and he goes, I'm trying to push.
• 18:38
  Speaker 2: I was like, what, still fully clothed, and he gets
• 18:41
  Speaker 2: up on there and he's nice and perched. I'm just
• 18:44
  Speaker 2: waiting for him to say, oh, it was just like
• 18:46
  Speaker 2: a fart or something. I'm waiting for it does happen?
• 18:49
  Speaker 2: Do a week? Little far started doing it a little
• 18:51
  Speaker 2: week and then he's given a little push and the
• 18:54
  Speaker 2: thing hit the back of the bowl. The PSI was unbelievable.
• 18:58
  Speaker 2: It was like on the bad racked the porcelain, literally,
• 19:03
  Speaker 2: and then I'm like trying to wipe his ass in
• 19:05
  Speaker 2: his public toilet. And then I've gone, oh shit, where's Macy.
• 19:09
  Speaker 2: She's wandered over to the silver trough ah, and she's
• 19:13
  Speaker 2: got her hand in the silver troll. I'm trying to
• 19:17
  Speaker 2: wipe an ass in a public toilet, like horrible, What did.
• 19:21
  Speaker 1: You forget about Mazie?
• 19:23
  Speaker 2: I was too busy trying to get She was like
• 19:25
  Speaker 2: right next to me. But she's just you know, she's
• 19:26
  Speaker 2: like she's the silent assassin.
• 19:28
  Speaker 1: She fucking goes at the pace of a caterpillar.
• 19:30
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but it's not fart to this little silver trough
• 19:32
  Speaker 2: and I look over and she's like bathing in it,
• 19:36
  Speaker 2: trying to figure out what it is. And I'm like,
• 19:37
  Speaker 2: he's away from that thing. And I wiped all these
• 19:40
  Speaker 2: kids up eventually, and then made our way back to
• 19:44
  Speaker 2: the restaurant and the.
• 19:45
  Speaker 1: Guy he's cleared your plates?
• 19:47
  Speaker 2: No, no, thankfully I left. Do you know what I
• 19:49
  Speaker 2: did do? I left my hat, my phone, all this stuff,
• 19:52
  Speaker 2: so he knew that I was coming back.
• 19:54
  Speaker 1: You left your phone?
• 19:55
  Speaker 2: I didn't. I felt so bad. I thought that he
• 19:58
  Speaker 2: thought maybe that was a ploy for me to to
• 20:00
  Speaker 2: get free food and leave. And there was no one
• 20:03
  Speaker 2: else in the restaurant. It was no one else, and
• 20:05
  Speaker 2: I thought, I just want this guy to look over
• 20:07
  Speaker 2: and go okay with it. He's definitely coming back through
• 20:09
  Speaker 2: his face, I guess because a hat on its own
• 20:11
  Speaker 2: could be like if you got his hat, but hat
• 20:13
  Speaker 2: and phone is like, don't worry, I'm coming back. Yeah,
• 20:16
  Speaker 2: and then walk back in and he was kind of like,
• 20:18
  Speaker 2: how'd you go? And I was like I was to me. Yeah,
• 20:21
  Speaker 2: I was like, have you got any hand sanitizer? And
• 20:23
  Speaker 2: he was like, oh yeah. Gives her this big bottle
• 20:25
  Speaker 2: and I'm like, covering the kids in hand sanitized.
• 20:28
  Speaker 1: She's drenched in your iine eating a fucking toilet.
• 20:31
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Anyway, straight back into the sushi. Finished that off
• 20:36
  Speaker 2: a petite well done.
• 20:38
  Speaker 1: Such a good dad, such a doting dad, one of
• 20:42
  Speaker 1: the best.
• 20:45
  Speaker 2: I have a quick little.
• 20:46
  Speaker 1: Story and I'm keen to get your opinion on this one. Recently,
• 20:50
  Speaker 1: I was at a birthday party. This one was held
• 20:53
  Speaker 1: at a park outdoors, and yeah, these days.
• 20:57
  Speaker 2: That's pretty standard.
• 20:58
  Speaker 1: Yeah you got a and especially the ones that are
• 21:01
  Speaker 1: closer towards the beach, very common to have multiple kids party,
• 21:05
  Speaker 1: especially down at Bronti for example, which is a big
• 21:08
  Speaker 1: park and never been there's like multiple like huts.
• 21:11
  Speaker 2: I love a good heart, very good hearts because you
• 21:14
  Speaker 2: could decorate them. They quite not that I would.
• 21:17
  Speaker 1: Quite you definitely wouldn't, but they are quite often decorated.
• 21:21
  Speaker 1: And on a Saturday or Sunday morning, many of the
• 21:24
  Speaker 1: huts are taken up by parents who are celebrating the
• 21:26
  Speaker 1: birth of a child.
• 21:28
  Speaker 2: And you have to get there early too. Any parent
• 21:30
  Speaker 2: with young children right now listening are like, my kid's
• 21:33
  Speaker 2: birthday coming up, and it's at eleven am. I'm getting
• 21:36
  Speaker 2: there at like fucking seven am. It's logistically it's hard work.
• 21:40
  Speaker 2: Telling you nominate someone, it's usually dad. You go down
• 21:43
  Speaker 2: and just sit there. I would fucking love that if
• 21:46
  Speaker 2: April said, Hey, eleven o'clock party, but I want you
• 21:49
  Speaker 2: to go down to the park at seven o'clock.
• 21:51
  Speaker 1: Fend off the other parents on your.
• 21:53
  Speaker 2: Own, sit there in silence on your phone, and not
• 21:57
  Speaker 2: be bothered by a child until they get there. Yes,
• 21:59
  Speaker 2: ma'am reporting for.
• 22:03
  Speaker 1: So this particular weekend, there must have been like four
• 22:06
  Speaker 1: or five birthday parties, all quite close to each other,
• 22:10
  Speaker 1: very close quarters. You're like, effectively you got like, you know,
• 22:13
  Speaker 1: neighbors of other birthday parties.
• 22:15
  Speaker 2: There's kids are crossing into other parties.
• 22:17
  Speaker 1: There is cross pollination of birthday parties. It's just going
• 22:20
  Speaker 1: to happen. It's inevitable. You want to see what the
• 22:22
  Speaker 1: others are eating, You want to have a little look
• 22:24
  Speaker 1: at the spread, look at the entertainment. And I feel
• 22:26
  Speaker 1: like these days it's pretty standard to have some kind
• 22:30
  Speaker 1: of entertainment. Sometimes people will have like a spider man.
• 22:33
  Speaker 2: Remember I told you that there was the ninja ninja
• 22:35
  Speaker 2: and I thought it was al Kaeda. Yes, yes, but
• 22:39
  Speaker 2: I recall it was a ninja.
• 22:42
  Speaker 1: Quite often bubble fairies. That may be the length that
• 22:46
  Speaker 1: people go to keep the kids entertained.
• 22:47
  Speaker 2: Giving in mind, birthday parties for young kids are going
• 22:50
  Speaker 2: to be like two at the most three hours. Face
• 22:53
  Speaker 2: painting is a good one balloon animal.
• 22:55
  Speaker 1: If you can get a face painter like a two
• 22:56
  Speaker 1: on one face paint, a bubble fairy job done very
• 23:00
  Speaker 1: well done, and they're not cheap as well. I might add,
• 23:03
  Speaker 1: this birthday party had quite an amazing spread of food.
• 23:09
  Speaker 1: No no, no, no, no, of entertainment, a spread of
• 23:13
  Speaker 1: entersaty I'm not sure it's if you've seen they have
• 23:18
  Speaker 1: these like miniature remote controlled like tractors and diggers that
• 23:23
  Speaker 1: the kids hop on and they can like pretend to
• 23:26
  Speaker 1: do these like construction like scenarios.
• 23:29
  Speaker 2: Who are these people? You're confused, weird out.
• 23:32
  Speaker 1: Let me give you a reference photo so you can
• 23:34
  Speaker 1: understand what type of setup we were next to.
• 23:37
  Speaker 2: You were next, So this is the party next to you. Correct,
• 23:41
  Speaker 2: it's just not the party you're at.
• 23:42
  Speaker 1: And I just want to say the party that we
• 23:44
  Speaker 1: were at was a great spread, good food, good entertainment, decorations, balloons,
• 23:48
  Speaker 1: so you understand what we're working with. Oh my god,
• 23:51
  Speaker 1: it's very impressive.
• 23:53
  Speaker 2: Rascar would love that. Yes, yes, I didn't know this
• 23:57
  Speaker 2: sort of shit existed.
• 23:58
  Speaker 1: So that type of activity, you know, for kids, it's
• 24:01
  Speaker 1: mothed to a flame. Right, they're all so pumped.
• 24:04
  Speaker 2: I'm visualizing it. I've seen it in terms of birthday parties.
• 24:08
  Speaker 2: If that is absolute top tier. But also you're looking
• 24:12
  Speaker 2: at like almost one thousand dollars. Oh no, apparently it's
• 24:16
  Speaker 2: like eight fifty one thousand dollars, very expensive. You couldn't
• 24:19
  Speaker 2: find a building site that was closed for the weekend, right,
• 24:23
  Speaker 2: go on, kids.
• 24:24
  Speaker 1: Issue was okay in a public setting that type of
• 24:28
  Speaker 1: birthday party, all the kids wanted to turn and the
• 24:32
  Speaker 1: family who was organizing that birthday party were getting the
• 24:35
  Speaker 1: shits because all the other kids kept kind of coming
• 24:38
  Speaker 1: into their birthday party? What do you set yourself up there?
• 24:41
  Speaker 2: Though, like, like we're talking four and five for us,
• 24:44
  Speaker 2: don't understand that they can't unless you sit down and go, look,
• 24:47
  Speaker 2: it's not your party, and they're going to be heartbroken.
• 24:50
  Speaker 2: But like you can't expect like no one to come
• 24:53
  Speaker 2: near you. You're creating a bit of a spectacle for
• 24:55
  Speaker 2: children of that age.
• 24:56
  Speaker 1: It's like being at the beach tossing out some hips
• 25:00
  Speaker 1: and then being annoyed that the seagulls are coming in
• 25:02
  Speaker 1: and eating those chips that weren't invited.
• 25:04
  Speaker 2: Like those ships were for the seagulls.
• 25:07
  Speaker 1: Yes, I'm referring to our kids as seagulls because they
• 25:09
  Speaker 1: are like many vultures.
• 25:10
  Speaker 2: It's like, no, it's like going to and there's like
• 25:12
  Speaker 2: seagulls and pigeons, but the pigeons are eating it. The
• 25:15
  Speaker 2: seagu and the seagulls are meant to be the ones
• 25:17
  Speaker 2: eating it. Like a similar sort of situation.
• 25:19
  Speaker 1: I mean, like my example really did paint the picture. No,
• 25:23
  Speaker 1: you need to.
• 25:24
  Speaker 2: Add it, you need to add I apologize, I take
• 25:27
  Speaker 2: that back.
• 25:27
  Speaker 1: But then the eagle comes.
• 25:29
  Speaker 2: But then the king of the jungle, the tiger.
• 25:33
  Speaker 1: So do you think in a public setting, Well, I'm
• 25:36
  Speaker 1: going to say it, I don't think you should be
• 25:37
  Speaker 1: allowed to bring that type of setup.
• 25:39
  Speaker 2: You are banging the money. That's a backyard party. That's
• 25:42
  Speaker 2: an in private party. That's like me and having a
• 25:46
  Speaker 2: birthday party, getting a stripper in and all the other
• 25:50
  Speaker 2: men in the park aren't allowed to look at her,
• 25:51
  Speaker 2: and you were like, I stop looking over here, this
• 25:53
  Speaker 2: is my party. Like that.
• 25:57
  Speaker 1: That's a good analogy. Yeah, thank you, very good. But
• 25:59
  Speaker 1: then you add a couple of pigeons.
• 26:01
  Speaker 2: Then the pigeons come, look, you can't I think if
• 26:06
  Speaker 2: you are to do it in public, I'm not saying
• 26:09
  Speaker 2: you're not allowed to.
• 26:10
  Speaker 1: We're not saying you can't have public birthday parties in
• 26:12
  Speaker 1: the park. That is allowed.
• 26:14
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's allowed, But you can't get the shits when
• 26:18
  Speaker 2: four and five year olds don't understand that that's for them.
• 26:22
  Speaker 2: They just think, I'm at the park. There's a bunch
• 26:25
  Speaker 2: of these fucking electric diggers here. I love diggers.
• 26:30
  Speaker 1: What you're talking about yourself?
• 26:32
  Speaker 2: He does, there's not Those kids are looking at the
• 26:35
  Speaker 2: top five thing that they love most in the world,
• 26:37
  Speaker 2: because they're like, oh my god, holy shit, and then
• 26:41
  Speaker 2: you're getting the shits with them because they're so infatuated
• 26:45
  Speaker 2: by If.
• 26:45
  Speaker 1: You're going to bring crack to a party, you've got
• 26:48
  Speaker 1: to expect that everyone's going to want to smoke it.
• 26:49
  Speaker 2: Absolutely, it's probably moorish am I right, yeah, but like
• 26:53
  Speaker 2: what so she got the shits.
• 26:55
  Speaker 1: She got annoyed because it was just constantly like, oh gosh,
• 26:58
  Speaker 1: where's Timmy, And Timmy's wanted over.
• 27:00
  Speaker 2: He's now trying to kick off the birth fucking line
• 27:02
  Speaker 2: of coke of a fucking tractor.
• 27:06
  Speaker 1: He's like, that's the good stuff.
• 27:09
  Speaker 2: That's the good stuff.
• 27:12
  Speaker 1: People are following our story very confusing if you're.
• 27:16
  Speaker 2: Just tuning in, we're not talking about actual crack.
• 27:18
  Speaker 1: No we're not.
• 27:19
  Speaker 2: That's a bit off. So the host of your party,
• 27:22
  Speaker 2: they were.
• 27:23
  Speaker 1: Also like, I think anybody is going to be a
• 27:26
  Speaker 1: bit miffed when that is next to you. Like, if
• 27:29
  Speaker 1: you are, if you're going to be spending thousands of dollars,
• 27:33
  Speaker 1: don't do it in a place where it makes other
• 27:35
  Speaker 1: parties look second here.
• 27:38
  Speaker 2: But also like it's a bit like your wanker. Yeah,
• 27:41
  Speaker 2: you know, it's like driving your sports car down to
• 27:43
  Speaker 2: the local car park and revenant you know, don't be
• 27:47
  Speaker 2: that guy such a.
• 27:48
  Speaker 1: Just get a ninja or a bubble fairy. Keep the
• 27:51
  Speaker 1: bar at that high. We don't need it to be
• 27:54
  Speaker 1: any high, high fat spider man like the rest of us. Okay, Ash,
• 28:02
  Speaker 1: it is time for parenting hack or fuck that. This
• 28:06
  Speaker 1: is when I spend hours, days, even relentlessly scaring the
• 28:11
  Speaker 1: Internet and social media to try and find anything that
• 28:14
  Speaker 1: will make parenting just a little bit easier. But sometimes, Ash,
• 28:18
  Speaker 1: sometimes I find something and the line is quite blurred
• 28:22
  Speaker 1: on whether or not it's something that will help people,
• 28:24
  Speaker 1: or if people have just lost their absolute mind.
• 28:27
  Speaker 2: Most of some of the lost their mind. Let's be honest, and.
• 28:30
  Speaker 1: When I'm unsure, I turn to one person, and one
• 28:32
  Speaker 1: person only for the final verdict.
• 28:35
  Speaker 2: There's only one man equipped to have a final verdict,
• 28:39
  Speaker 2: and that is I.
• 28:40
  Speaker 1: Okay, yes, ready, Ash, Yes, okay. For people who obviously
• 28:47
  Speaker 1: can't watch this video, we are going to put on socials,
• 28:51
  Speaker 1: but Ash, describe to them what you've just witnessed.
• 28:54
  Speaker 2: I've just witnessed a young mother creating slime where on
• 28:59
  Speaker 2: her brain? New floor? Yes, So a couple of thoughts.
• 29:02
  Speaker 2: First thought, did you really need to tell us it's
• 29:04
  Speaker 2: a brand new floor. What's the little flex they're obviously renovating,
• 29:10
  Speaker 2: not to twisted your little Yeah, great to have a
• 29:13
  Speaker 2: little dig at you there, But just just's thought.
• 29:17
  Speaker 1: You're being very kind right now because that's the fucking
• 29:20
  Speaker 1: dumbest video I've ever seen.
• 29:22
  Speaker 2: I don't think it's the dumbest video I've ever seen.
• 29:24
  Speaker 2: They're just wooden floors, But slime is a pain in
• 29:28
  Speaker 2: the ass. Will just gets a plane though, But do
• 29:31
  Speaker 2: it on a matt or something.
• 29:32
  Speaker 1: Why are you being so reserved right now in your
• 29:35
  Speaker 1: judgment of this parent. She's made slime with like essentially
• 29:40
  Speaker 1: like a four liter bottle of cream, of anyone wondering,
• 29:44
  Speaker 1: I dropped a bottle of cream out of the fridge
• 29:46
  Speaker 1: before this record, and did you see how much of
• 29:49
  Speaker 1: a nightmare it was to clean up?
• 29:50
  Speaker 2: Yeah?
• 29:51
  Speaker 1: Who is who is making slime on the floor in
• 29:55
  Speaker 1: the bedroom?
• 29:56
  Speaker 2: Purposely making a mess? Is dumb?
• 29:58
  Speaker 1: And who needs that much sign for the slime is
• 30:00
  Speaker 1: the absolute worst for kids? You may as well give
• 30:04
  Speaker 1: them a loaded handgun. That's that's like, that's on the
• 30:07
  Speaker 1: level where slime is at.
• 30:09
  Speaker 2: That's a bit extreme, is it. I actually gave Maze
• 30:14
  Speaker 2: a loaded nerve gun. The other day and she just
• 30:16
  Speaker 2: shot April straight. But look, I agree, like you're making
• 30:21
  Speaker 2: a mess purposely.
• 30:24
  Speaker 1: What would you a bit silly?
• 30:25
  Speaker 2: But if you want to make slime, go ahead, make
• 30:27
  Speaker 2: it in the container.
• 30:28
  Speaker 1: There is Listen to the man the reason she did.
• 30:31
  Speaker 2: Make it look like it was so effortless.
• 30:33
  Speaker 1: Don't get sucked, and let me don't get gone.
• 30:36
  Speaker 2: I'm going to make slime on my brand new flaws
• 30:39
  Speaker 2: and I'm going to make it look effortless to clean
• 30:42
  Speaker 2: it up. What letless to clean it up so it
• 30:47
  Speaker 2: makes it look like this. I'm such a good mum.
• 30:50
  Speaker 2: And then I'm going to put it in containers and
• 30:52
  Speaker 2: color coded. Hmmm, make it in the container. Make Plato,
• 30:57
  Speaker 2: don't make slime. Make Plato.
• 30:59
  Speaker 1: Don't do it. Don't make plato. Plato sucks. Look I sucks.
• 31:03
  Speaker 1: Whenever I see Plato on in a gift bag at
• 31:05
  Speaker 1: a party, I look at the parent.
• 31:07
  Speaker 2: And I'm like, why why you remember as man Mason
• 31:11
  Speaker 2: loves it like you don't cut up little pizzas with it.
• 31:14
  Speaker 2: That's very good. I do hate the smell of Plato
• 31:18
  Speaker 2: and the texture. Let's go to parents everything else about it.
• 31:21
  Speaker 2: Let's go into parenting lies tell me Lie, tell me
• 31:26
  Speaker 2: little life.
• 31:32
  Speaker 1: Ash. I got one here. This is from Nicola, who
• 31:35
  Speaker 1: wrote back to my story on the Instagram, and she says,
• 31:39
  Speaker 1: I tell my toddler, I need to check if the
• 31:41
  Speaker 1: dog is being naughty to leave the room after she's
• 31:44
  Speaker 1: gone to bed.
• 31:45
  Speaker 2: I tell my toddler just so go again.
• 31:47
  Speaker 1: I'll tell you once more time.
• 31:49
  Speaker 2: Hang on, I just want to go. Are we lying
• 31:51
  Speaker 2: to the dog?
• 31:53
  Speaker 1: Nicola? Okay, parent says to her toddler who's just gone
• 31:56
  Speaker 1: to bed, I need to check if the dog is
• 32:00
  Speaker 1: naughty to justify her leaving the room without the total questioning.
• 32:06
  Speaker 2: Oh so to get out as the room tactic.
• 32:09
  Speaker 1: What correct?
• 32:12
  Speaker 2: I was like, what correct? Have I missed something? Okay?
• 32:15
  Speaker 2: So it's when obviously we just going to be just
• 32:17
  Speaker 2: like I better check on the dog. Yeah.
• 32:18
  Speaker 1: And it's like the one thing that the kids like,
• 32:20
  Speaker 1: Oh I get it, you can. You can talked about
• 32:23
  Speaker 1: this before, but I always say I need to do
• 32:26
  Speaker 1: a week.
• 32:26
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's a good one.
• 32:27
  Speaker 1: And that's the one that the kids can't question.
• 32:29
  Speaker 2: They're like, well, okay, that's any bathroom activities. They like, Oh,
• 32:32
  Speaker 2: I completely understand.
• 32:34
  Speaker 1: So sorry, please don't let me get in the way.
• 32:36
  Speaker 2: Why can't you just shot yourself like I do very good.
• 32:42
  Speaker 2: I've got one here from Lauren which is very random,
• 32:45
  Speaker 2: which I had a little giggle at. I thought, maybe
• 32:47
  Speaker 2: you'll have a giggle at. Please, Lauren says. My dad
• 32:50
  Speaker 2: told my sister a virgin was someone who couldn't drive
• 32:53
  Speaker 2: a car. Why in what situation do you think, like
• 32:59
  Speaker 2: you would I have to lie to your child about
• 33:01
  Speaker 2: what a virgin is every situation, I would think.
• 33:05
  Speaker 1: So maybe the kid was a bit young and you
• 33:07
  Speaker 1: don't want to say, well, virgin is someone who doesn't
• 33:08
  Speaker 1: have sex. I do remember, though, I do remember. I
• 33:12
  Speaker 1: think I must have been grade two or grade three
• 33:15
  Speaker 1: and there was a boy called Kieran who was making
• 33:20
  Speaker 1: a joke about a stiffy and I was like, sorry, what,
• 33:24
  Speaker 1: I don't know what it meant? And I remember going home.
• 33:26
  Speaker 1: I was like, guys, what does it mean? And they're like,
• 33:28
  Speaker 1: you don't know what a stiffy is? And I was
• 33:31
  Speaker 1: very much on the outer and I went home and
• 33:32
  Speaker 1: I said Mum, what's a stiffy? And she wouldn't tell
• 33:36
  Speaker 1: me either, and I was like, well, someone just showed
• 33:38
  Speaker 1: me what a stiffy is. To ask your brother didn't you,
• 33:41
  Speaker 1: But sometimes kids asked for the meaning of certain words,
• 33:44
  Speaker 1: where you're like, I ain't.
• 33:46
  Speaker 2: Going there to whip out a clueless Yeah, you're a
• 33:51
  Speaker 2: virgin who can't drive. That's it.
• 33:54
  Speaker 1: Ash. Before we go, we have a couple of very
• 33:56
  Speaker 1: quick questions. We did have a story last week. If
• 34:00
  Speaker 1: people didn't listen to that episode, first of all, go
• 34:02
  Speaker 1: and listen to it because it's very funny. Sorry that
• 34:06
  Speaker 1: was aggressive. I apologize. There's a story in there of
• 34:09
  Speaker 1: how your family stole from April stole from camut accidental.
• 34:15
  Speaker 2: No stove, not from came up from a reputable Yeah,
• 34:19
  Speaker 2: came out.
• 34:22
  Speaker 1: Someone has asked, do you boys remember the very first
• 34:25
  Speaker 1: thing that you stole, and as someone who has some
• 34:32
  Speaker 1: pretty solid prize.
• 34:33
  Speaker 2: I'm on the run, do you recall I don't recall.
• 34:37
  Speaker 2: I don't recall as a child stealing anything.
• 34:42
  Speaker 1: Because obviously sometimes malea lola grab a chocolate bar, which
• 34:47
  Speaker 1: I'm unaware of.
• 34:49
  Speaker 2: Let me just get the police on the phone.
• 34:50
  Speaker 1: And it's only when you get it back in the
• 34:52
  Speaker 1: car and you're like, oh my gosh, you took like
• 34:54
  Speaker 1: that what of cash from my rest?
• 34:58
  Speaker 2: You left your battle cla.
• 35:01
  Speaker 1: But do you remember like consciously knowing that what you're
• 35:04
  Speaker 1: about to do taking something was naughty.
• 35:07
  Speaker 2: No, I don't recall as a child stealing anything or
• 35:10
  Speaker 2: like having or taking something. I do remember my grandmother,
• 35:14
  Speaker 2: who's still alive, when we were kids a couple of
• 35:18
  Speaker 2: times in the very same store in which we mentioned earlier,
• 35:22
  Speaker 2: actually stole toys for us. So what she did was
• 35:26
  Speaker 2: she just took him out of the packet, chucked him
• 35:28
  Speaker 2: in a purse, and walked out. This is like in
• 35:31
  Speaker 2: the early nineties, so it's what do you.
• 35:33
  Speaker 1: Mean like that makes it okay? She laid down in
• 35:37
  Speaker 1: the nineties.
• 35:38
  Speaker 2: My grandmother is she's still here. Yeah she is. Sorry, Dan,
• 35:43
  Speaker 2: you're getting locked up. But I do remember being like,
• 35:46
  Speaker 2: that's not right.
• 35:47
  Speaker 1: But then I'm getting a toy, so I don't say nothing.
• 35:50
  Speaker 1: Ain't no snitch. I remember. Doesn't only happen nowadays because
• 35:56
  Speaker 1: no one pays with coins. But in grade one, I
• 36:00
  Speaker 1: remember seeing there was a little jar in the kitchen
• 36:03
  Speaker 1: that was a money jar, and Mom would use that
• 36:05
  Speaker 1: to pay for our touch shop, you know, put in
• 36:08
  Speaker 1: like a dollar forty for a sausage roll delicious. I
• 36:11
  Speaker 1: over time I kind of figured out the gold coins
• 36:15
  Speaker 1: were worth a bit more and I had. I remember
• 36:18
  Speaker 1: how much I had must have been a lot. But
• 36:20
  Speaker 1: I went to school with all of this money, and
• 36:23
  Speaker 1: I remember going to the other kids and being like,
• 36:25
  Speaker 1: whatever you want from the touch shop, don't worry, I
• 36:28
  Speaker 1: look after you.
• 36:31
  Speaker 2: And the milky are on me. It must have been
• 36:35
  Speaker 2: quite a lot, because I quickly got pulled into the
• 36:38
  Speaker 2: principal's office and they were like, where'd you get the
• 36:40
  Speaker 2: money from? Kid?
• 36:41
  Speaker 1: And I was like, I ain't said nothing, my little drugs.
• 36:44
  Speaker 1: My mom got called into the school dish.
• 36:47
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 36:48
  Speaker 1: They were like it must have been what significant?
• 36:50
  Speaker 2: What was the planet of twenty five life? And I
• 36:54
  Speaker 2: was like I didn't know what I'll do? You want
• 36:56
  Speaker 2: an only bank higst I'm just.
• 36:57
  Speaker 1: A sweet innocent little boy full that that was Yeah,
• 37:01
  Speaker 1: that was like my first I kind of knew. I
• 37:03
  Speaker 1: remember like my mom would leave the room and I
• 37:05
  Speaker 1: would like sneak into the kitchen and take the money
• 37:07
  Speaker 1: quickly before she realized.
• 37:08
  Speaker 2: Someone say, it's a bit of a robin Hood complex there,
• 37:11
  Speaker 2: because you've stolen from the rich and taken to school
• 37:16
  Speaker 2: to offer and buy the poor. A lot of analogy
• 37:18
  Speaker 2: in this episode, too many, too many. I'd say this
• 37:20
  Speaker 2: is the last one. I promise we'll see. And in
• 37:23
  Speaker 2: those days she was cheap.
• 37:26
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Oh man, you could buy like a a kind
• 37:28
  Speaker 1: of snake for like twenty cents.
• 37:30
  Speaker 2: Oh that's goodbye.
• 37:32
  Speaker 1: I could buy a house for twenty cents for free.
• 37:35
  Speaker 1: Icondra put inside.
• 37:37
  Speaker 2: Oh, we need to get some she can notice for lunch.
• 37:40
  Speaker 1: What's your question, big guy?
• 37:41
  Speaker 2: My question. I have one girl, you have two girls.
• 37:44
  Speaker 2: I don't know if you know that, but I know that.
• 37:47
  Speaker 1: I know that as well.
• 37:49
  Speaker 2: And Annie has written in and said, hey, guys, at
• 37:52
  Speaker 2: what age should kids be allowed to wear makeup, even
• 37:55
  Speaker 2: if it's just for fun. Now, for me boy and
• 37:59
  Speaker 2: a girl, the sort of makeup or anything cosmetic that
• 38:02
  Speaker 2: they would use is painting the nails, which you're a
• 38:05
  Speaker 2: really big fan of doing for your girls. Anyway, I
• 38:07
  Speaker 2: did notice Oscar had his black black, one black one pink.
• 38:13
  Speaker 2: But what do you reckon?
• 38:14
  Speaker 1: Oh god, this is a it's a it's a prickly one.
• 38:18
  Speaker 1: We did notice that, mar You know, kids are very aware,
• 38:22
  Speaker 1: they're always watching, they're always seeing things happen. And whenever
• 38:26
  Speaker 1: Laura was, you know, going out in the morning or
• 38:29
  Speaker 1: especially if she was going to an event, she would
• 38:31
  Speaker 1: before leaving the house.
• 38:32
  Speaker 2: That's not something you would you would think you would
• 38:34
  Speaker 2: need to hide or would want to hide.
• 38:37
  Speaker 1: Yeah, Laura would do a quick touch up do Askay's
• 38:40
  Speaker 1: wearing a mask. And then a few times Marley would
• 38:47
  Speaker 1: be leaving for daycare and she'd be like, I need
• 38:48
  Speaker 1: to put some makeup on to look pretty to leave
• 38:51
  Speaker 1: the house. And we were like, oh shit, this is
• 38:53
  Speaker 1: this is a road.
• 38:55
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you better Yeah, And so we also, you know,
• 39:00
  Speaker 2: we thought it was really cute on the weekends when
• 39:03
  Speaker 2: she was dabbling in a bit of makeup and we'd
• 39:05
  Speaker 2: be like, oh my god, you.
• 39:06
  Speaker 1: Look so beautiful. But they were like, oh, that's setting
• 39:09
  Speaker 1: the wrong message. You don't want to be You don't.
• 39:11
  Speaker 2: Want to you don't want them to think that you
• 39:13
  Speaker 2: have to wear makeup to be beautiful.
• 39:14
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, So it's really it's hard. It's a hard
• 39:18
  Speaker 1: one because you're like, you want to have fun and
• 39:22
  Speaker 1: play and you know they have like little makeup stations
• 39:24
  Speaker 1: that they play with you. Yeah, you don't want think
• 39:26
  Speaker 1: they're going to be unattractive if they don't wear makeup.
• 39:29
  Speaker 2: Yeah, what are you trying to sell it as like
• 39:31
  Speaker 2: a disguise?
• 39:32
  Speaker 1: That's it. That's it.
• 39:33
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Really, I never actually even ever thought about this
• 39:37
  Speaker 2: whatsoever at this very moment.
• 39:39
  Speaker 1: As a guy.
• 39:39
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Never.
• 39:41
  Speaker 1: But now that I've got kids, I'm like, oh shit,
• 39:43
  Speaker 1: this is something I have to be aware of.
• 39:44
  Speaker 2: Even so, I never thought about it until just now.
• 39:46
  Speaker 1: So we say that they can't wear it for I mean,
• 39:48
  Speaker 1: Marley's five, Lolas three. Both of them have like a
• 39:51
  Speaker 1: little kid's makeup. Kid they do a bit eyeshadow poorly,
• 39:56
  Speaker 1: I might add.
• 39:57
  Speaker 2: I'm not expecting them to be like award winning makeup.
• 40:00
  Speaker 1: Yeah, dressed like that with that face of makeup, it
• 40:02
  Speaker 1: looked like a but we allowed him a little dabble.
• 40:08
  Speaker 1: Is it too young? I don't know.
• 40:09
  Speaker 2: God, I think if you're selling it as like dress up,
• 40:12
  Speaker 2: you know what I mean. You know her kids have
• 40:13
  Speaker 2: to dress up in especially your girls are very very
• 40:16
  Speaker 2: big fans of dress up in the Frozen stuff, I know,
• 40:18
  Speaker 2: princess dresses. Yeah, And I think like, if you're selling
• 40:22
  Speaker 2: it and they're doing it is like I'm going to
• 40:24
  Speaker 2: dress up as a character, then it's it's all right.
• 40:27
  Speaker 2: But if I think, like, if she's like I'm going
• 40:29
  Speaker 2: to I need to do it to look beautiful to
• 40:31
  Speaker 2: go to kindy I'd be like.
• 40:33
  Speaker 1: I'm just going to turn to jess for one second.
• 40:35
  Speaker 1: In Jessica, at what age did you first start wearing makeup?
• 40:39
  Speaker 4: The first time I ever wore makeup was when I
• 40:42
  Speaker 4: was five ballpark you sixth formal, where I absolutely looked
• 40:47
  Speaker 4: like someone just punched my facing because it was the
• 40:51
  Speaker 4: first time I've ever done it.
• 40:52
  Speaker 2: I would love to see that photo.
• 40:54
  Speaker 4: Then I graduated to eyeliner. This is like at the
• 40:58
  Speaker 4: height of like emo life, where are you.
• 41:02
  Speaker 1: Misca?
• 41:03
  Speaker 4: Your ten formal still off the charts, and then you're
• 41:07
  Speaker 4: twelve it was like, hey, let's put cakeon.
• 41:10
  Speaker 2: Take it on.
• 41:11
  Speaker 1: I feel like primary school is for like the fun doubling.
• 41:14
  Speaker 1: Then like you get to like this semi formal that's
• 41:16
  Speaker 1: kind of when you get a bit more serious.
• 41:18
  Speaker 2: Imagine if you never if we never had makeup, it
• 41:22
  Speaker 2: was never emitted.
• 41:26
  Speaker 1: Dropping that kind of scenario on people at the end
• 41:29
  Speaker 1: of the podcast, I don't know if they're ready for it.
• 41:31
  Speaker 1: Imagine if mecup was.
• 41:33
  Speaker 2: Getting ready for it. That's where my brain goes. Imagine
• 41:35
  Speaker 2: if which because it's such a weird concept to think,
• 41:38
  Speaker 2: if you if you get to the nooks and crannies
• 41:40
  Speaker 2: of it, right, You're like, I am essentially changing the
• 41:44
  Speaker 2: way I look for what reason? When? Who decided that
• 41:48
  Speaker 2: this is what we're going to do? Yeah? There he is,
• 41:50
  Speaker 2: and this is going to be part of normal life
• 41:52
  Speaker 2: because it's kind of like becoming like for Jess just
• 41:55
  Speaker 2: gave us a little breakdown into okay, she was five,
• 41:58
  Speaker 2: she might have played with it this aggressive stages until
• 42:01
  Speaker 2: when it just becomes part of your everyday life of
• 42:04
  Speaker 2: getting ready. What if that never happened, Think how much
• 42:08
  Speaker 2: time we would have all saved. A would be like
• 42:11
  Speaker 2: are you ready? And she'd be like, yeah, five more minutes.
• 42:14
  Speaker 2: That would have actually meant And that's why I love
• 42:19
  Speaker 2: doing this podcast with you. Just the way you look
• 42:21
  Speaker 2: at the world. It's unbelievable. It took me an hour
• 42:25
  Speaker 2: to get that thought out and if finally contributed.
• 42:28
  Speaker 1: If you have been wowed by Pash in this episode,
• 42:32
  Speaker 1: we would love it if you would share it with
• 42:34
  Speaker 1: anybody else who needs that type of enlightenment. Don't patronize me.
• 42:39
  Speaker 1: Please give us a review, subscribe to us. We did
• 42:42
  Speaker 1: get a couple of reviews which were quite nice. We
• 42:45
  Speaker 1: really do appreciate this. We do thank you so much.
• 42:47
  Speaker 1: Do we have any bad ones. Let's read out the
• 42:49
  Speaker 1: bad one. We actually don't want to invite anyone to
• 42:52
  Speaker 1: try something negative. We haven't had a bad one for
• 42:54
  Speaker 1: a little while. Touch wood, I know I've just jinxed it.
• 42:57
  Speaker 1: We haven't have We were very luck, very very lucky.
• 43:02
  Speaker 2: Okay, let's take that out. Let's not be courage.
• 43:06
  Speaker 1: But we also asked have our social media.
• 43:08
  Speaker 2: We do. Yes, we have our Facebook group. You can
• 43:11
  Speaker 2: join it's going strong, Join the community, join the conversation.
• 43:14
  Speaker 2: Also Instagram.
• 43:17
  Speaker 1: It's like it's like a like a presidential slogan.
• 43:20
  Speaker 2: Join the community, Join the community, join the conversation, join
• 43:23
  Speaker 2: the yes on Instagram as well, and we shall see
• 43:32
  Speaker 2: you next time.
• 43:32
  Speaker 3: Goodbye, good bye. Okay, right, we're back. Okay, I speak
• 43:47
  Speaker 3: to the guy.
• 43:51
  Speaker 1: Yeah, what happened?
• 43:53
  Speaker 2: We'd be laughing for eight minutes.
• 43:55
  Speaker 1: I said, Okay, I'm good, I'm good.
• 43:59
  Speaker 2: I'm really trying to get to Matt. He's being a
• 44:02
  Speaker 2: little silly boy.
• 44:02
  Speaker 1: Two Doting Dance Podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country
• 44:06
  Speaker 1: throughout Australia and the connections to land, sea and community.
• 44:10
  Speaker 2: We pay our respects to their elders past and present
• 44:13
  Speaker 2: and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and torrestright Islander
• 44:16
  Speaker 2: peoples today. This episode was recorded on gadagle Land.