Latest / The Vocal Hack Podcast / #16 Perfect doesn't sell
Transcript
- Assumpta: Hello everyone, my name is Assumpta. Joana Lisboa: And I'm Joana. Assumpta: Welcome back to another episode of the Vocal Hack Podcast. The space where we explore all the tools to help you speak with more confidence and create more impact. Today we're talking about something that holds so many people back. We often believe that before we speak, present, go on a stage or record a video, that we need to sound already perfect. But there's the thing perfection rarely creates connection. People don't remember flawless speakers. They remember people who made them feel something. Joana Lisboa: That is so true. And this is something I see almost every day in our sessions with clients. Someone tells me, I'll start posting videos when I sound better, or I'll apply for that presentation once I stop saying, mmm, the problem is that perfection keeps moving further away. And while you're waiting to become perfect, someone with half your knowledge, but twice your courage, is already out there making an impact. Assumpta: It's so true. I think I say I'm a perfectionist, so I feel like it happens to me all the time. And also, my opinion, social media has made this even worse. We're constantly surrounded by polished Ted talks, people that edited their videos for hours and hours on end with perfect lighting, perfect sound. And we compare our first attempt with with someone else's hundredths. Joana Lisboa: Absolutely. And and people forget that communication isn't about performance, it's a relationship. When we're too focused on sounding perfect, we stop paying attention to the person in front of us. We start monitoring every word and every breath, every little mistake instead of having a conversation. We're having a conversation with ourselves inside of our own heads. Assumpta: And ironically, that's when we become less engaging. I think one thing always forget is we're all looking for perfection. But in the end it never feels real. It's not something that you can trust. I feel especially with AI, it's a great time where you notice the difference because you still trust a post that someone wrote on LinkedIn by themselves more than someone that wrote it with AI and it sounds just a little bit too polished. You get a feeling inside. You might not know exactly what it is, but you can feel it. Joana Lisboa: Yeah. Have you ever noticed that the people you enjoy the most aren't technically perfect? That's something that happens. We connect with imperfect people because we are imperfect. We are all imperfect. So that's why we connect more with imperfection. of course we don't like people that are incompetent in their jobs or in their presentations, but we enjoy. understanding that we are not the only ones that are imperfect. sometimes they lose their train of thought, the communicators, sometimes they laugh at themselves or sometimes they pause, sometimes their voice cracks a little bit, But none of that makes us disconnect. In Assumpta: It's almost like it restarts our attention on them. And think about it, the people you genuinely enjoy spending time with, they're the ones who are comfortable being themselves around you. That comfort is contagious. If someone feels safe around you and is themselves, that's when they show their truest and most authentic version of themselves and that's when you connect with them the most. And that's exactly what happens with your voice too. Joana Lisboa: The voice follows the heart. One thing I sometimes notice with clients is that they practice a presentation so many times it becomes somehow mechanical. And every sentence has the same rhythm, every pause is rehearsed, every smile appears on cue. Technically is excellent, but in terms of emotional content, it's missing something. Assumpta: Is actually such a good example because one thing I always tell my clients when I work on a presentation with them is not to write down full sentences, They should just write down like bullet points of the most important points that they want to say and then try to say them in the most different ways that they can so that in the moment they feel more sure about what they want to say, but they have A million ways of communicating that in that moment whatever feels right. Because communication isn't about delivering exact words. It's about delivering the meaning, delivering the most important message that you want to tell people. And meaning isn't created by perfect pronunciation, it's better understood by it. But it's created by intention, emotion, and genuine connection with the audience. Joana Lisboa: Yes, I often advise my clients to record first and to understand what is the more natural message that they want to convey. Instead of writing first That is a a very good technique for you to get out of the brain part and get more in touch with the emotional part of your speech. Because what you write, it's usually not what you speak. something somehow different. And so if you record yourself talking about a subject. Then you can access to that and be more Assumpta: Mm. Joana Lisboa: yourself. And you can write it down after. transcript what you said on that recording, and then just do a little modifications, little cuts there and then, and so you have like a very emotional. and more close to you and more authentic speech. I don't know if you if you already did this. Assumpta: No, I but I really love it. I think it reminds me of when I tell them to tell me about what they want to say and then we talk about okay, so what were the most important parts of that? it's kind of similar, but basically I think your version is what they can do by themselves better also without me having to be present. But I really love that. It's great. Joana Lisboa: I start using this when I was in Toastmasters, when I was doing speeches, and I I start understanding that they weren't very me when I was writing them first. So I I that was a a technique I I found to overlap that feeling of non-authenticity that I was feeling. So perfectionism also affects the voice physically, yes. And when we're trying not to make mistakes, we often become tense. And the jaw tightens, the shoulders rise, breathing becomes shallow, and the voice loses its warmth. And suddenly we're working much harder than we need to. Assumpta: It's so funny. The way that you just said it, I like automatically wanted to loosen everything up. Like, yes, God, yes, no. Isn't it funny that The harder we try to sound perfect, the less natural we actually sound. Sometimes the best thing you can do is simply breathe, slow down and just jump like trust yourself that you will do it the right way. Joana Lisboa: So true. Good advice, Assumpta. Assumpta: Ha ha ha. Joana Lisboa: Take her advice, please, because it's very, very important. You know Assumpta: No. Joana Lisboa: that most people think confidence comes first. And actually confidence usually comes afterwards. It comes from doing, from speaking, from making mistakes, from realizing that nothing terrible would happen if you do it. Every conversation, every meeting, every presentation becomes another piece of evidence that says, I can do this. Assumpta: I think that's one of the most important sentences that a lot of people to hear. Like confidence is built by doing. And of course, there are people that are naturally more confident and they can walk into situations and project more confidence even if they're actually not sure what is gonna happen. But in the end, you build confidence by doing it over and and over and over again. And Waiting to feel ready before you start is like you're waiting to become fit without going to the gym or Joana Lisboa: Yeah. Assumpta: becoming a pro soccer player without ever stepping on the ground and actually doing the drills and all the conditioning that you need. So the process creates confidence, not the other way around. Like please, please remember this. This is so important. Joana Lisboa: yes, another misconception about vocal coaching is that people think we are teaching them how to be or to sound perfect. And we are simply not doing that. We are just helping them to sound the best version of themselves, more confident and more Connected to their feelings. Because if we talk away from our feelings, if we are talking about happy things and we're feeling very sad, what other people are going to feel when they hear you is confusion. It's something that is not good because they're not going to understand your message, it feels confusing. So we are not helping them to sound perfect. We are helping them to sound the best version of themselves, more confident, more expressive, more intentional, not someone else, themselves. That's what we're trying to do when we do our jobs right, right? Assumpta: yes, and that's a huge difference. We actually did an episode on that already. if you haven't listened to it, go back. It's episode ten. Because if you try to copy another speaker, people can sense it. Your voice becomes disconnected because it's not connected to your own personality. So The goal is never to imitate. You can look at people and admire things about them, but then you have to find them in yourself. It's finding a communication style that feels natural and sustainable. Joana Lisboa: here are the three things we would love you to remember from this episode. First done is better than perfect. Second, people remember how you make them feel much more than the words you actually use. And third, your voice becomes stronger every time you use it, not every time you think about using it. Assumpta: I love those. I think those are the perfect summary of this episode. And if I add just one more, Next time you hear yourself on a recording and immediately think I don't like my voice, ask yourself this would I judge a friend this harshly? Probably not. We often become our own toughest critics. And with recordings of our voice, even I sometimes need days before I can listen my own voice because you don't want to listen to it right after. Give yourself always a break between that. You will otherwise Judge it so harshly. Joana Lisboa: It becomes easier when you do it a lot. if you keep doing it, recording and hearing recording and hearing from a certain point, you detach yourself from your voice and you hear it like it's someone else's voice So you don't feel those feelings inside and of criticism and judgment. But you have to practice. You have to do it. So if you're waiting until you feel perfect to speak up, forget about that. Record Assumpta: Yeah. Joana Lisboa: the video, launch your podcast today. You have to start at some point and then you get better and better and better. Because your audience isn't looking for perfection. They're looking for clarity, honesty, warmth, for someone that they can relate to. And that's something perfection can never replace. Assumpta: Exactly. think we said it so many times, but the most memorable communicators aren't perfect. They're genuine. present. They connect with the people that they're talking to and they make people feel heard. So that being said, thank you so much for listening to another episode of the Vocal Hack Podcast. Joana Lisboa: If you enjoyed this episode and conversation, please subscribe, leave us a review, and share this episode with someone who's been waiting for the perfect moment to do something with their voice. Hopefully, this episode reminds them that progress is far more powerful than perfection. Until next time, bye. Assumpta: Bye, see you next week.