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Uncovering Your True Self: Embracing the Healing Journey with Julie Nguyen · The Spiritual Shitshow Podcast

• 0:13
  Speaker 1: Hello and welcome back to the Spiritual Shit Show.
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: Thank you so much for being here.
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: My name is Julie Nguyen and today we're going to be talking about the healing journey, what it is, and I want to first start out with saying you know, I am always so mesmerized when I pause in my life and I think about like this is it?
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: No one, ever, ever, is going to be like me?
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: I chose this existence for a reason.
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: There's a part of me that also chose the lessons and the heartache and the situations that sucked, and this is my journey and it's never going to be done again like ever, ever.
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: I think it's so amazing and this is for you.
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: Before we start, I want you to really think about that.
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: Like never, ever, ever, is there ever going to be you again?
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: And really the work that you do on yourself so that you can be the brightest, most authentic, coolest version that is ever going to walk the earth what a gift, what a gift it is to work on yourself, to see what is blocking you, that is holding you back from really expanding and tapping into the purest potential.
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: That is you expanding and tapping into the purest potential.
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: That is you and that is me and I am right there in the trenches with you doing this work.
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: It's cool, it's deep, it's long and it is something that is like when you do your work.
• 1:57
  Speaker 1: It is work that literally is going to be a lifetime of work literally is going to be a lifetime of work, of curiosity, of deep diving, of exploring, and I just think it's what better way to get to know life than to get to know yourself.
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: So I hesitate in the term healing, because we don't.
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: It's not really like you're broken.
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: I think the adventure is to see how whole you are, to see the power and awaken to the power that is within you, that is also within me and for myself.
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: I can see how much of my life has been held in a pattern of fear or believing.
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: You know these false things that I've heard or I've been told about myself and you know, or how these parts of myself have stepped in to protect me, to keep me safe, but also have limited me in many ways.
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: So I'm going to pause there because you may or may not know what the hell I'm talking about.
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: The point being is, the healing journey is really just the curiosity and the work that needs to be done so you can see how whole and incredible you are.
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: I'm not going to lie about this next part.
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: I really wish that I could be like one of those spiritual gurus, like Eckhart Tolle, who was really low in his life and then fell asleep on a park bench and woke up enlightened.
• 3:39
  Speaker 1: I've prayed for that.
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: But for whatever reason, I am meant to be in my awakening journey and share the experience with others, one step at a time.
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: And I do also say I approach every spiritual lesson.
• 3:56
  Speaker 1: I do so kicking and screaming, with loads of resistance, but anyway, when we think of healing, we have to know that it's not a one and done thing and where which is what I prayed for that we wake up just healed and happy and free.
• 4:12
  Speaker 1: But the healing journey is.
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: It's a spiral, it's a dance, it's a sacred unfolding.
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: It's full of breakthroughs, setbacks, ugly cries, moments of deep clarity and times when you wonder if you've made any progress at all.
• 4:27
  Speaker 1: It takes time.
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: It takes time.
• 4:31
  Speaker 1: So if you are on your healing journey or awakening journey, whether you're recovering from trauma, working through emotional wounds or stepping into a more authentic version of yourself, this episode is for you.
• 4:49
  Speaker 1: We're going to talk about what healing really looks like, why it's not always pretty, and how to navigate this path with more grace, patience, support, compassion, love and trust.
• 5:04
  Speaker 1: And if you are listening to this, I am applauding you for saying yes to doing this work.
• 5:11
  Speaker 1: I know a lot of people who I can see the writings on the wall so clearly and I'm like, oh my God, if you just did your work, if you just kind of looked into this aspect of your life, it would be so much better.
• 5:25
  Speaker 1: But I get it.
• 5:26
  Speaker 1: It's hard.
• 5:27
  Speaker 1: You don't want to drudge up things from the past, but the more I do it and I'm currently also in a somatic therapy course as well I swear anything that we do not heal or look at, we just pass it along to the next generation, to our kids.
• 5:45
  Speaker 1: This is the way energy works and I'll get into that more later.
• 5:49
  Speaker 1: But I just applaud you if you're listening to this and getting curious about wanting to kind of clean your own internal house a little bit.
• 5:58
  Speaker 1: Not everybody says yes to it.
• 5:59
  Speaker 1: Not everybody wants to do self-reflection.
• 6:02
  Speaker 1: It's not fun, nobody wants to look at their shit, but I'm telling you it is so important.
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: So what is the healing journey?
• 6:12
  Speaker 1: It's not about fixing what is broken and this is the hardest part.
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: When we approach healing or therapy like something's wrong, it brings in a bunch of shame.
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: Like something's wrong, it brings in a bunch of shame, and I want us to know that this whole journey, this adventure, it's about returning to your wholeness.
• 6:33
  Speaker 1: It's about you learning how to love yourself and to truly embrace what we started with, which is the fact that never again will there ever be you.
• 6:47
  Speaker 1: I said in the last podcast what came in for me in meditation, which is life.
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: Life is the ultimate gift and what you do with it is up to you.
• 6:57
  Speaker 1: I am 46 years old and I am now, just now, all these years later, learning what it feels like to be myself, without the old stories and the traumas and all of that.
• 7:14
  Speaker 1: And it's taken me a long time to get here and it feels really, really good.
• 7:21
  Speaker 1: But it has been a lot of hard work, tears, patience, self-forgiveness, all the things.
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: The healing journey, it's the process of unlearning, remembering and reclaiming who you are beneath, conditioning trauma and fear, understanding trauma and fear.
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: The healing journey is both internal so it's emotional and mental and spiritual, and it's also external.
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: It's shifts in relationships.
• 7:53
  Speaker 1: That's a hard one when we begin to shift, our relationships begin to shift and yeah, that's just the part of it Career shifts yep, check that off my list and lifestyle so, and I think the external shifts that occur.
• 8:12
  Speaker 1: I think that's why people are hesitant to do this type of stuff, because it's scary.
• 8:16
  Speaker 1: If I really work on myself or I really say yes to my life, in big ways it does impact the people around you and sometimes people don't want to shake the foundation.
• 8:32
  Speaker 1: But in my sessions that I do with people in one-on-one soul sessions, it's like once one awakens, it gives permission for everybody else to do it too.
• 8:43
  Speaker 1: It's really cool.
• 8:44
  Speaker 1: And on a side note, obviously I'm passionate about this because I remember having a conversation with my husband one time and he was annoyed with me and he was like when is your healing going to be done?
• 8:55
  Speaker 1: You know like how much is too much?
• 8:57
  Speaker 1: And I was like good question, and I don't think ever.
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: Good question, and I don't think ever.
• 9:07
  Speaker 1: And then I felt like I was too much.
• 9:08
  Speaker 1: And then he gets into therapy and now he's probably going to therapy more than I ever have in my entire life, which actually that's a true fact.
• 9:13
  Speaker 1: But I was doing my work and it forced him to really take a look at some of his stuff as well.
• 9:23
  Speaker 1: You know, and it's valid.
• 9:25
  Speaker 1: You know his stuff is valid.
• 9:29
  Speaker 1: Doing the work, doing the work, and when you do it for yourself, it may be annoying for those around you, but I promise you it's helping others to awake.
• 9:38
  Speaker 1: When you shine brighter, you are forcing other people or not?
• 9:42
  Speaker 1: Maybe, let me see, shine brighter.
• 9:45
  Speaker 1: You are forcing other people or not.
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: Maybe, let me see you are inspiring other people to want to shine brighter too, you know, and it all just increases our capacity and ability to love.
• 9:52
  Speaker 1: So, anyway, I want you to think of healing like peeling an onion.
• 9:58
  Speaker 1: This is also deep diving into spirituality.
• 10:01
  Speaker 1: It's layer after layer, but in the healing process, when you release something, it brings you closer to the core of yourself.
• 10:11
  Speaker 1: And just like an onion when you peel back the layers, sometimes it brings tears.
• 10:17
  Speaker 1: So why does healing feel hard and how come a lot of us just don't want to do it?
• 10:25
  Speaker 1: And again, I get it.
• 10:26
  Speaker 1: I probably wouldn't have either if I wasn't forced into it, to be honest, and plus, at the time when I was being forced into healing, I didn't understand.
• 10:35
  Speaker 1: I was going to a demonstration in an empty chair or a two-chair method.
• 10:42
  Speaker 1: And this is before my life kind of flipped upside down and I was interested in the work but I didn't understand it 100%.
• 10:51
  Speaker 1: But now that I'm studying and understanding and I've gone through my own process, now on my timeline I can look back like, oh, now I see what the therapist was doing, or now I see what that demonstration was all about, or now I get it.
• 11:07
  Speaker 1: So, anyway, it is not linear, it's a spiral.
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: Healing is a spiral.
• 11:13
  Speaker 1: Understanding the work is a spiral.
• 11:15
  Speaker 1: It's layer after layer after layer, and it's because you don't just heal and never struggle again.
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: Healing happens in cycles and waves and it can be frustrating, but actually the more times you touch it it's like the wound closes a little bit more and then it just becomes a scar that you learn to love.
• 11:36
  Speaker 1: That's the hardest part is to get to where it's a scar that you learn to love.
• 11:41
  Speaker 1: And sometimes, when you're on the healing journey, you're like, oh great, I've gotten through it.
• 11:46
  Speaker 1: And then a trigger will happen and you start all over and that's okay, you will learn the tools that you need to get through it.
• 11:58
  Speaker 1: I also realized in my own healing journey that the mind wants comfort and familiarity, even if what's familiar is painful.
• 12:08
  Speaker 1: There was a moment in my journey of healing and trying to understand and heal and make sense of everything that was very tumultuous and bleh.
• 12:16
  Speaker 1: Was I actually at that moment of given a choice?
• 12:21
  Speaker 1: I would have chosen my old life, even though it was so chaotic and stressful and what was happening was so abusive.
• 12:32
  Speaker 1: I would have chosen the abuse because I at least knew it and being in the unknown was so uncomfortable.
• 12:42
  Speaker 1: So it can be confusing because when you're thrown into healing and or if you're in the healing journey and you're moving out of the pain and you're kind of moving towards healing, there may be a part of you that's like oh, give me the pain because at least I know what it is.
• 12:59
  Speaker 1: You know, and this is why healing can feel like a battle between your old patterns and your higher self or this version of yourself that you really want to bloom into or expand into.
• 13:14
  Speaker 1: Also, it's important to remember that letting go A is hard and way easier said than done, and be okay with a letting go on your own process and allowing also the letting go process, be a teacher for you, but remembering that letting go feels like loss For me.
• 13:31
  Speaker 1: My story was well, I don't know how to let go of a family member.
• 13:36
  Speaker 1: I don't know how to let like.
• 13:37
  Speaker 1: How are you asking me to let go of something?
• 13:39
  Speaker 1: That shouldn't be this way anyway?
• 13:42
  Speaker 1: So I held on to the pain, or I held onto the experience, because on the other side of that was this big question mark of like what?
• 13:49
  Speaker 1: Now we're estranged, now we just don't talk.
• 13:51
  Speaker 1: Now I'm estranged from a sibling, like it was so weird and there was a lot of grief in the letting go.
• 13:58
  Speaker 1: And when you heal, you might lose old friendships.
• 14:01
  Speaker 1: Heal you might lose old friendships, you might lose family members, you might lose your identity, you might lose your sense of fashion.
• 14:13
  Speaker 1: That was me.
• 14:14
  Speaker 1: I was like I couldn't even shop for myself for years.
• 14:15
  Speaker 1: I had no idea, it was so weird.
• 14:16
  Speaker 1: I definitely lost my identity and letting go can also feel like losing old ways of being.
• 14:23
  Speaker 1: It is very confusing place to be and it can feel lonely and you need to find support, for sure, for sure, for sure, for sure, and you have to just trust that something new is coming to you, that you're making space for something new.
• 14:45
  Speaker 1: And again, it took me a long time to get to where I am today of this, accepting that I am allowing myself to be made anew, and there were many times that I wanted to quit, and there's going to be many times when you think it's too hard and I hate to say it because it's so cliche but it's in these moments that you're going to get the insight or you're going to get the clarity that you need to take that next step.
• 15:17
  Speaker 1: I highly encourage, if you're dealing with the hard stuff, find safe people and safe spaces to heal.
• 15:26
  Speaker 1: The last podcast was on authenticity, and I know, even with therapists, I was like I feel like I'm too much.
• 15:33
  Speaker 1: This is too much, even for them.
• 15:35
  Speaker 1: It's too much for me, but I feel like I'm being too much, and so when I wasn't allowing myself to authentically be myself in the healing process too, that's when an uptick of anxiety and stress and depression also arose.
• 15:51
  Speaker 1: So really, really make sure that you're allowing yourself to authentically be in spaces that are created for you to heal and to do so authentically.
• 16:03
  Speaker 1: It's also so important to remember that healing is not meant to be done alone.
• 16:10
  Speaker 1: Now, I did a lot of my healing work alone and then, once I started to go to therapy for it, I was grateful that I did a lot of the work by myself, because I understood it and I have a lot of tools on how to talk myself through, especially using the spiritual guides that I can work with to kind of get me through the other side.
• 16:31
  Speaker 1: But once I started to get into therapy I was like, oh, I wish I would have done this seven years ago.
• 16:38
  Speaker 1: I think I could have fast-tracked this whole process.
• 16:41
  Speaker 1: So I definitely, definitely, definitely suggest seeking out support, remembering again this healing.
• 16:50
  Speaker 1: It needs to be witnessed.
• 16:51
  Speaker 1: You can't do it by yourself.
• 16:53
  Speaker 1: So find a good therapist or a healer Some of my friends actually have been great therapists but find what you need and allow yourself to receive the support.
• 17:08
  Speaker 1: I also want to echo to you that you are incredible and your journey may have been fucking hard hard and you are still here and hopefully you can see that some of these hard parts you've made it through.
• 17:27
  Speaker 1: Your healing is valid.
• 17:29
  Speaker 1: Your healing is valid, your story is valid, your feelings are valid.
• 17:35
  Speaker 1: How you've processed it all is truthful and, even if others don't understand it at all, you have to remember that you and your healing is valid as a dancer and a mover and also somebody who is in somatic therapy work.
• 17:58
  Speaker 1: It is really important to really nurture the whole mind, body, spirit.
• 18:04
  Speaker 1: When we go to talk therapy we talk, talk, talk, talk, talk and then we can get action tools, stuff like that.
• 18:10
  Speaker 1: But it is important to remember that healing doesn't just happen in the mind, but it happens in the body.
• 18:16
  Speaker 1: Somatic awareness, somatic practices, somatic therapy have all been really cool and ways for me to access information or trauma and then gain clarity around it so quick, like, so quick.
• 18:34
  Speaker 1: I highly recommend somatic practices.
• 18:36
  Speaker 1: Sound healing has also just been a lifesaver.
• 18:40
  Speaker 1: Breathwork especially when I was doing my own healing by myself, breathwork is what really allowed.
• 18:46
  Speaker 1: I mean I'm not going to lie, healing looks crazy.
• 18:50
  Speaker 1: I mean, my body was just like heaving all over the place during breath work sessions, but that was because so much trauma was being unlocked from my body and I was a huge release of energetic patterns.
• 19:02
  Speaker 1: But anyway, breath work is so important and it's also what helped me clear anxiety.
• 19:08
  Speaker 1: I used to have anxiety so bad that I couldn't even go to the grocery store.
• 19:12
  Speaker 1: I couldn't go, yeah, I couldn't go shopping.
• 19:15
  Speaker 1: I'd have a panic attack every time I was at the checkout counter.
• 19:18
  Speaker 1: It was bad.
• 19:19
  Speaker 1: Breathwork has really helped with that.
• 19:22
  Speaker 1: I'm fine now without any medication, thank you.
• 19:25
  Speaker 1: Dance, because it's fun, and meditation, so somatic practices, sound healing, breath work, dance, meditation it all helps to release stuck energy in the body.
• 19:43
  Speaker 1: And another thing and this actually I did this in my own work today, you know, because I am somebody who will dissociate from anything that is too much.
• 19:50
  Speaker 1: And so in my healing work that I was doing today, it was learning how to sit, just sit with it.
• 19:59
  Speaker 1: Sit with it, sit with the discomfort.
• 20:02
  Speaker 1: So, instead of running from the pain or trying to understand it or trying to heal it or trying to let it go or or or, or or or A really beautiful practice is learning how to compassionately sit with it, sit with it, breathe through it and let it be a teacher.
• 20:20
  Speaker 1: Sometimes, when we're holding onto things and we can't seem to get rid of it, you know whether the feeling of trauma or the rumble that it holds in our bodies, or the discomfort or the anxiety that it brings, you know, sometimes it's with us because it has a lesson for us.
• 20:39
  Speaker 1: It's a teacher.
• 20:40
  Speaker 1: So you can ask, you know, especially with a therapist, what is this pain trying to show me, what's the lesson in it.
• 20:50
  Speaker 1: And then it's always, always, always, a good reminder to remember that healing happens in layers and even when it feels slow or you can be annoyed with yourself, like why can't I get through this quick enough, why is this still such an issue for me, or why, you know, do I continue to ruminate on this, or why can't I let it go that, I want you to remember that, even when it feels slow, that you are still moving forward.
• 21:22
  Speaker 1: Celebrate the small wins, each shift, no matter how small, each release that brings clarity or moments of feeling lighter, it is all a victory.
• 21:40
  Speaker 1: Your healing journey is sacred and it's not about becoming someone new.
• 21:45
  Speaker 1: It's about coming home to yourself.
• 21:49
  Speaker 1: No matter where you are on your path, know that you are not alone.
• 21:54
  Speaker 1: This is life.
• 21:55
  Speaker 1: It's a spiritual shit show.
• 21:57
  Speaker 1: This is what nobody actually has the courage to talk about.
• 22:01
  Speaker 1: It's like we can't say things are really hard right now.
• 22:03
  Speaker 1: Or I'm going through grief and it sucks, or I'm going through a transition in sucks, or I'm going through, you know, a transition in my life and I'm kind of feeling like I'm in the void, like we don't really.
• 22:13
  Speaker 1: Well, I think we are more and more, but you know it's a little taboo.
• 22:19
  Speaker 1: I realize that I can talk to my circle of people like that, but when I try to talk to other people, they just kind of look at me side-eyed.
• 22:24
  Speaker 1: But the truth is, this is life.
• 22:28
  Speaker 1: Life is messy and magical and what you are going through you are not alone.
• 22:32
  Speaker 1: You are growing, you're expanding and you're evolving in ways that you can't fully see yet.
• 22:41
  Speaker 1: But you got to keep going, keep trusting you are healing, even when it doesn't feel like it.
• 22:44
  Speaker 1: And I promise you, when you get the bulk of this healing work done and you have that time when you look at yourself and you're like, damn, I don't even recognize myself anymore.
• 22:56
  Speaker 1: Or, wow, you know, my old self would have.
• 23:00
  Speaker 1: You know, dot, dot, dot.
• 23:01
  Speaker 1: And I am proud of myself because I just walked into that space, that meeting, and I was confident and I felt confident and it was fun, like when you have those positive shifts in your life.
• 23:12
  Speaker 1: Oh, my God, hell.
• 23:14
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 23:14
  Speaker 1: This is what I want for you.
• 23:16
  Speaker 1: This is what I want for you.
• 23:17
  Speaker 1: I would love to hear about your healing journey and, most importantly, I would love to be able to support you on your healing journey.
• 23:24
  Speaker 1: Until next time, until next time.
• 23:27
  Speaker 1: I love you.
• 23:27
  Speaker 1: I am proud of you.
• 23:29
  Speaker 1: Be gentle with yourself and, ultimately, remember there will never, ever, ever, ever be you again.
• 23:40
  Speaker 1: I fucking want you to be the brightest version of yourself and have the best time here on earth.
• 23:46
  Speaker 1: I am supporting you, I am celebrating you, I am loving you, and may today be the day that you feel like your radiant, most powerful self.
• 23:59
  Speaker 1: Till next time.