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Do Narcissists Hurt When You Breakup With Them? · The Mental Healness Podcast

• 0:00
  So are narcissists hurting when the relationship ends?
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  That's what we're talking about today, y'all.
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  If narcissists go through some type of withdrawal or pain or
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  hurt or, or their feelings hurt, do they miss you?
• 0:14
  All of those things we're going to discuss today.
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  If you're new here, my name is Lee Hammock.
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  I'm a diagnosed narcissist myself.
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  And welcome to another episode of the Narcissist Code, y'all.
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  Yes, I'll just hop right into it.
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  Look, we're not going to bury the lead, I think.
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  Well, not really. Yes, it depends.
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  There are a lot of narcissists who do hurt at the end of the
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  relationship, when the relationship is over and it's
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  ending and y'all have gone y'all separate ways.
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  You've blocked them, they may have blocked you, whatever.
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  Yeah, some of them do hurt y'all.
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  Let's keep that, y'all. I think a lot of people might
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  not believe me when I say this, but narcissists are humans too,
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  y'all? Don't attack me, don't unfollow
• 0:59
  me, please don't unfollow me, please, please.
• 1:03
  No. But seriously, narcissists are
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  people too, right? But at the end of the day,
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  they're going to hurt. Some of them are going to
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  absolutely hurt when the relationship ends.
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  There's no way around it. I know there are a lot of people
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  who will disagree with me and just say narcissists or robotic
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  meat sacks. Narcissists are demons.
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  Narcissists are the scum of the earth.
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  Whatever y'all want to I, I get it, I do.
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  I trust me when y'all say that I do get it, you know what I mean?
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  But I will say this as well. When you're dealing with it,
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  they still could hurt, right? They can still experience some
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  type of pain or hurt or of loss when the relationship finally
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  overs when it has reached its climax.
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  Let's say like let us you're saying it right, Narcissistic
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  people are going to go through some pain.
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  Like it really depends on how the relationship ends as well.
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  Because if you break up with them and they are not ready for
• 1:52
  it, they don't suspect it. They don't have a new supply in
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  the waiting. They don't have a new supply
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  ready to hop to. Man, the pain is damn near
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  unbearable, right? They'll cry, they will cry and
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  the crazy thing about it is y'all I, I got a personal story
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  I'm going to tell within this right here.
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  I might actually do a longer video about the full story, but
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  I've watched my my ex narcissistic friend.
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  I watched him cry over a girl that he was cheating on.
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  When she finally decided to pack it up, she's like I'm done.
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  We finished don't come, I don't, don't talk to me no more, It's
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  over. When she finally decided to pack
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  it up, this man literally was crying.
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  He was hurting and yes, he was actually cheating on her as
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  well. He cheated on her multiple
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  times. She gave him multiple chances
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  and you know what the final straw of that breakup was?
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  She started following me. He told her to follow me online.
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  My friend he's he's TikTok famous.
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  You can follow him online. She started following me, put
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  everything that he did, put everything together, what he was
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  doing and broke up with him. But yeah, this man was crying,
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  he was hurting that the relationship was ending and he
• 3:01
  was treating her horrible. Yeah, he was literally cheating
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  on her multiple times. Multiple times.
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  The first time he got caught, he handed her his phone, right?
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  He's like, take a selfie of yourself for my screensaver.
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  I want to put you as my screensaver.
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  She took a selfie of herself, clicked the picture to see what
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  it looked like, swipe 2 times and there was another girl's
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  naked pictures on his phone. She's seen it pictures, videos,
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  all kinds of stuff. She's seen it and broke up with
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  her. You know he's man handed me and
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  say he's like man she broke up with me man.
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  What I need to do What should I do man?
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  I said bro apologize and change the behavior.
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  You know what the man said man but she shouldn't went through
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  my phone man. I trusted her go through.
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  I trusted her with my phone. She went through the phone.
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  She swiped too many times and she saw the picture so it was
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  her fault. You see right there some
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  narcissists even when they're hurting, even when they're in
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  pain, they don't want to take accountability for how you got
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  there in the 1st place. They don't want to take.
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  They don't want to take responsibility for their actions
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  that led to the break up in the 1st place.
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  They will still find a way to blame you.
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  Even though this man had some other woman's naked pictures in
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  his phone and his girlfriend at the time saw it.
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  He blamed a girlfriend for going through the phone as opposed to
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  as opposed to just being like damn, I messed up.
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  This is what happened. Telling her the truth and trying
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  to change your behavior. He said no, I ain't apologizing.
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  She done some stuff wrong too. She shouldn't do my phone.
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  That's wrong. Ain't it?
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  Ain't it man. I like he's talking to me, he's
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  talking to me. I'm like it meant unaware as
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  hell. I'm a self aware darcist.
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  He unaware he was hurting. He was in pain because he she
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  ended it, even though he was treating her horribly.
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  So, yeah, some narcissists can absolutely hurt and feel pain
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  when the relationship ends. But is that going to change
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  anything? That's the that's the big
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  question right there. Is that going to change anything
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  at all within them? Most times, no.
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  Most times, whether they're hurting or not, that's not going
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  to change anything with that person.
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  Yeah, most times when they're hurting, when they're going
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  through some, they're feeling some type of emotional distress
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  or something along those lines. It won't change a thing with
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  you, with them, you know, you see what I'm saying?
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  Most times when they're hurting or there is some type of pain or
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  they're going through it, it will not change anything that is
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  going on that has happened. Like they won't take
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  accountability. They're not going to go to
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  therapy. They're not going to go work on
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  themselves. None of that stuff will matter
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  to them in the end because they'll still find a way to wrap
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  it around to blame you. So narcissists, a lot of
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  narcissists do feel pain when the relationship ends.
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  They do miss you when the relationship ends.
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  But does that mean that they're going to change their behaviors?
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  No, absolutely not my friend literally real life, literally
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  boyfriend literally blame her. It's like this her fault.
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  Even though he had dating apps all kinds of stuff he got caught
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  a bunch of times. I ain't going to I'm gonna I'm
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  gonna do a story time by the full story on one of my animated
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  series. But this man literally did just
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  would not take accountability for his actions at all.
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  He's he was hurting him. He was in pain, he was hurting
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  for a long time after the breakup.
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  Even though he was moving on, even though he was moving on to
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  other people, he was still talking about her.
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  Man, I miss her so much man. While he's going on dates with
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  somebody else, while he's meeting other people on dating
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  apps, man, I can't stop thinking about her.
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  That shows you right there, y'all.
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  They're narcissistic people. Even if they're hurting, it
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  won't stop them from moving on. They don't want instead of just
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  sitting with what they have done instead of sitting with and
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  taking accountability with the stuff that they've put you
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  through or have the relationship in it, why the relationship in
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  it? They will try to move on and get
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  other get a new supply in order to in order to validate their
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  own emotions in order to validate themselves in this
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  situation right here. This is what a lot of
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  narcissists will do instead of just sitting down just like I
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  need to be accountable for my actions.
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  No, he just booed, got on dating apps swipe, kept swiping mad,
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  matched with somebody and when I met up with him, trying to sleep
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  with him while simultaneously texting me, texting me, man, I
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  can't get over a man. What I did wrong?
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  Where you going, man? Met this girl on Tinder, man,
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  I'm going to go see you going. We're going to the bar.
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  What? Literally.
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  So that's why I tell people so many people think that
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  narcissists are so happy when the relationship ends because
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  they have a new supply, right? Right after I try to tell them
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  I'm like, look, just because they have a new person doesn't
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  mean that they're happy. Narcissistic people cannot like
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  we can't sit like we can't sit with ourselves for a very long
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  time. We have, I'm doing longer video
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  on this, but we have a huge fear of abandonment and being alone.
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  So we cannot stand that. So we will just like we will try
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  to move on quickly, even though we're not over the old person,
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  we'll go try to use somebody else to help us get past the old
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  person to help us get over our exes.
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  Yes, exactly. We will.
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  There are a lot of nurses. I'm not saying this right.
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  Y'all like that's horrible. Yeah, it is, but this is what is
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  a lot of people are experiencing.
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  When you're dealing with narcissistic people, this is
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  what you're going to go through. This is what's going to happen a
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  lot of times because they don't want, they can't sit with
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  themselves. So they try to throw themselves
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  in new relationships. They try to throw themselves in
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  a new friendship or new partnership, new, whatever it
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  is, right? If a narcissistic parent, if you
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  discard A narcissistic parent, they'll try to find another one
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  of your kid, another one of your siblings, if they have one to
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  love bomb and to give their energy to because they don't
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  want to be alone. You see how that works?
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  There are so many toxic narcissistic people out here
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  that have to deal with this in this situation.
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  They don't know how to deal with it.
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  They just try to throw themselves head first into a new
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  relationship as opposed to just trying to sit there and heal and
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  do anything else. And this becomes so, God, it's
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  become so problematic with toxic narcissistic people.
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  It really, really does. And that's why I tell people all
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  the time, like when you're trying to heal and move forward,
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  this is who you have to deal with.
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  You have to deal with this abusive, manipulative person.
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  And it's going to keep happening over and over and over again
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  until it's like it just doesn't stop.
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  So yes, a lot of narcissists are hurting when the relationship is
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  ends. And especially if you move on,
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  even if they, yeah, I'm gonna wrap it up with this right here.
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  This is this last little section.
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  Even when they themselves have moved on, they might still be
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  hurting. But when you move on, if you pop
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  out with a new Boo or a new a new relationship or just
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  somebody that you're casually dating or somebody that you met
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  on a dating app doing the exact same thing that they're doing, a
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  lot of them will lose their minds because that reactivates
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  the pain. It triggers them to think that
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  you're going to be happy with someone else.
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  It trigger it triggers them to think that you're replacing them
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  with someone else that could be better than them.
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  And a lot of them might not even tell you that they feel this
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  way, but they'll start treating you differently, especially if
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  you have the Co parent and y'all, they've been nice to you
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  because they've moved on, but as soon as you move on, this is
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  what happens. They they lose their minds.
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  I have a young lady in my group that said Lee play time's over.
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  This is my support group, mental illness.net for my support
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  group, right? She's like, well, he he was
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  being nice to me for the last six months, throwing, throwing a
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  new supply in my face. I just being cordial or having
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  to cause any drama. I haven't made any scenes.
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  I just been cordial and moving forward.
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  He been just being he'd been on his best behavior.
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  Soon as I pop out with a new booth soon as soon as he finds
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  out I got AI didn't tell him I had a date.
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  Lee somebody else told him I had a date and soon as he found out
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  he lost his damn mind. He went crazy.
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  He started he started cussing me out, telling me I'm a whore,
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  telling me he don't have anybody around his kids, even though
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  he's had somebody around his kids the whole time like
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  introduced him to the new He introduced our kids to his new
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  partner within a couple of weeks of them dating.
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  He told us I can't have people around.
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  He's trying to throw it in my face, tell him about taking me
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  back to court and all the day with all I did he was our dating
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  and he had already moved on. You say some of them are hurting
• 11:00
  and still will be hurting later on down the road.
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  They might not say it out loud I'm hurting, but they'll show
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  you through their actions by becoming petty, by trying to
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  make your life more difficult. But just because you decided to
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  choose yourself. This is the signs and the
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  symptoms of a of a horribly narcissistic toxic ass
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  personnel, and I hope they help you understood Yeah anyways,
• 11:21
  y'all they all made to the end. If you haven't already hit the
• 11:23
  subscribe button. It helps reach more people.
• 11:26
  Somebody else subscribe somebody else subscribe to the channel
• 11:28
  and it put it in your algorithm. How did it Lee?
• 11:30
  How did I don't know how your videos came up on my channel.
• 11:33
  Somebody else liked commented and subscribe and then the
• 11:36
  algorithm said hey, some other people might like this.
• 11:38
  So they send it to you and then you want to do the same by
• 11:41
  paying it for it. Also, click one of these boxes
• 11:43
  on the screen right here to watch another video and mental
• 11:46
  illness.net Everything Peace.