Latest / I Choose Me with Jennie Garth / No Prenup, No Wedding with Kelly Bensimon

Transcript

No Prenup, No Wedding with Kelly Bensimon · I Choose Me with Jennie Garth

• 0:16
  Speaker 1: If you are one of the lucky ones who got
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: loved your relationship marriage right the first time, then this
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: show ain't for you. Welcome to I Do Part two,
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: where your hosts today have said I do eight times
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: between the three of us.
• 0:36
  Speaker 2: Eight.
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: How was that for an intro? Janna Kramer, Listen, j I.
• 0:42
  Speaker 3: Feel very targeted and you're not.
• 0:45
  Speaker 4: You should just feel seen, Jenny, thank.
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: You because on this end down here with TJ Holmes, hello,
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: and Amy Robot four I dos down here as well,
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: and a fifth in the making. We should argue on
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: this end possibly, So yes, I'm not targeting Rush right,
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: I'm not targeting, but welcome everybody. So Jana, we have
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: to say, is so good to have you in studio.
• 1:07
  Speaker 1: Jena is here with us in New York.
• 1:10
  Speaker 3: I love New York, you guys. This is such a
• 1:12
  Speaker 3: fun city. It's so great. And here with the beautiful Kelly.
• 1:15
  Speaker 3: I mean, this is this is awesome.
• 1:17
  Speaker 5: Yes, we have what we should mention. We have the
• 1:19
  Speaker 5: amazing Kelly ben Simone. Right, did I say your name correctly?
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: All right?
• 1:23
  Speaker 5: Kelly ben Simone is in the house here and she
• 1:26
  Speaker 5: is going to be We mentioned this in the first
• 1:29
  Speaker 5: episode one of our celebrity mentors.
• 1:32
  Speaker 4: Are you prepared to mentor us, Kelly?
• 1:35
  Speaker 2: I hope so. I'm working on it one day at
• 1:39
  Speaker 2: a time.
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: But Kelly, people coming to you for relationship advice more
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: so now than they used to.
• 1:45
  Speaker 2: I mean, in the past month and a half, I've
• 1:48
  Speaker 2: become like the relationship group. Wow, everybody's asking me for advice,
• 1:53
  Speaker 2: which has been really, really sweet. But it's also like
• 1:57
  Speaker 2: bittersweet because I'm just like I hope I say the
• 1:58
  Speaker 2: right thing.
• 1:59
  Speaker 5: Well, well, you always say the right thing in the
• 2:02
  Speaker 5: right moment because it's authentic. And I think at some
• 2:04
  Speaker 5: point we were talking about that authenticity is a big
• 2:06
  Speaker 5: part of reality TV and sometimes it's not. But You've
• 2:10
  Speaker 5: always been the one who speaks her mind always, And
• 2:12
  Speaker 5: for those who need an introduction, I don't think many
• 2:14
  Speaker 5: people do. But you obviously hopefully remember Kelly from The
• 2:17
  Speaker 5: Real Housewives of New York and Ultimate Girls Trip and
• 2:22
  Speaker 5: recently making headlines for ending a wedding to be four
• 2:27
  Speaker 5: days before the nuptials were set to actually take place,
• 2:31
  Speaker 5: all because your fiance wouldn't sign a prenum. Is that
• 2:36
  Speaker 5: the only reason why the wedding was.
• 2:37
  Speaker 2: Called the only reason.
• 2:42
  Speaker 3: How long are you guys actually together because at the
• 2:44
  Speaker 3: first time, the first thing that I read, because well
• 2:46
  Speaker 3: I thought, I was like, wow, that's so powerful and
• 2:48
  Speaker 3: that's you know, like more power to her. But then
• 2:50
  Speaker 3: I was also like, that makes me sad for her
• 2:52
  Speaker 3: because how long was the relationship? Like that must have
• 2:54
  Speaker 3: been really hard to part from that.
• 2:56
  Speaker 2: So yeah, I mean we were together for over a
• 2:59
  Speaker 2: year and a half and I you know, everyone's like,
• 3:04
  Speaker 2: you're a runaway bride. I actually ran to myself. You know.
• 3:08
  Speaker 2: It was a very crowded, messy environment on his part
• 3:13
  Speaker 2: with ex wives and all these kids, and I love children,
• 3:16
  Speaker 2: but it was just like very, very, very messy, and
• 3:19
  Speaker 2: I just couldn't handle all of that. You know, I'm
• 3:24
  Speaker 2: very neat my girls. I raised my girls on my own.
• 3:26
  Speaker 2: I provided for them, educated them, like I'm like the
• 3:29
  Speaker 2: mama bear of all mama bears. And to see like
• 3:31
  Speaker 2: all this chaos all the time was just like not
• 3:34
  Speaker 2: for me. Coupled with the fact that you know, I'm
• 3:37
  Speaker 2: the daughter of a lawyer and if I'm going to
• 3:39
  Speaker 2: get married again, I mean I've been single for so long,
• 3:41
  Speaker 2: not because I am like single, like you know, someone
• 3:44
  Speaker 2: like they're like, well, you're single, I'm like, well, I'm
• 3:46
  Speaker 2: not like single, like out there like, oh my god,
• 3:48
  Speaker 2: I'm single. I'm single, introduced me, introduced me. I'm just
• 3:51
  Speaker 2: not married.
• 3:52
  Speaker 4: You know, there's the difference.
• 3:53
  Speaker 2: There is a total difference.
• 3:54
  Speaker 5: Your divorced, your your first divorce, your only divorce. Correct
• 3:57
  Speaker 5: was back in two thousand and seven.
• 3:59
  Speaker 2: Yes, you have been like a mediator.
• 4:02
  Speaker 5: You know.
• 4:02
  Speaker 3: It was like and was there a prenup obviously in place?
• 4:05
  Speaker 2: Then no, there wasn't. But it was like a mediator.
• 4:08
  Speaker 2: But it was also different. I was young and you
• 4:10
  Speaker 2: know he I was young and made starting to make money.
• 4:13
  Speaker 2: He was you know, older and starting to make money,
• 4:15
  Speaker 2: and so we were like we were really building, you know.
• 4:18
  Speaker 2: I helped him build his career. And it was just
• 4:22
  Speaker 2: a different environment. It was a different time too. You know,
• 4:25
  Speaker 2: two thousand and seven, people weren't like, get a prenup,
• 4:28
  Speaker 2: take care of yourself. You know, women weren't like, oh,
• 4:30
  Speaker 2: I need to watch out for my finances. You know,
• 4:33
  Speaker 2: it was a different time. I mean people didn't even
• 4:35
  Speaker 2: talk about really about marriage. When I remember going on
• 4:38
  Speaker 2: when I was first on Housewives, and you know, I
• 4:41
  Speaker 2: was like, I'm a single parent, and they were like, oh,
• 4:46
  Speaker 2: so that we got one of those in the room. Yeah,
• 4:49
  Speaker 2: it was kind of like I had like leprosy or something.
• 4:51
  Speaker 2: You know. I was like, I'm just single, Like I
• 4:53
  Speaker 2: just raising my kids on my own. And I was,
• 4:55
  Speaker 2: you know, also young when I got married, but just
• 4:58
  Speaker 2: it was just a different time. Now it's like people
• 5:00
  Speaker 2: are like, I'm single, I'm loving life, and back then
• 5:04
  Speaker 2: it wasn't really perceived that way.
• 5:05
  Speaker 3: So can I ask kind of an insensitive question?
• 5:07
  Speaker 2: You can?
• 5:08
  Speaker 4: I think, push through it.
• 5:10
  Speaker 1: You'll make it.
• 5:11
  Speaker 3: Just get through it because I don't want to sound
• 5:13
  Speaker 3: I don't want to put him in a bad light.
• 5:14
  Speaker 3: But does he not have a lot of money?
• 5:17
  Speaker 4: I don't.
• 5:17
  Speaker 2: I mean, I don't really know what his money situation is,
• 5:22
  Speaker 2: which is also a bad thing. You should kind of know
• 5:24
  Speaker 2: what the finances are of the family finances. I just
• 5:27
  Speaker 2: knew that I have two children. I've worked really, really hard.
• 5:31
  Speaker 2: I have a lot of earning potential, and I want
• 5:36
  Speaker 2: to make sure that my girls are protected for the
• 5:38
  Speaker 2: rest of their lives. I mean, that's why I'm making money.
• 5:40
  Speaker 2: I'm not making money so I can go to tom Ford.
• 5:42
  Speaker 2: Although I do love tom.
• 5:43
  Speaker 3: Ford and it with his fans Like me, we're in
• 5:47
  Speaker 3: New York.
• 5:47
  Speaker 2: People are like, oh my god, they're just spending money
• 5:49
  Speaker 2: like crazy. Well that's not really how it is. Like,
• 5:51
  Speaker 2: I just want to make sure that my girls are
• 5:53
  Speaker 2: obviously educated and have a good you know framework, but
• 5:57
  Speaker 2: I just want to like ensure that they can do
• 6:00
  Speaker 2: whatever they want.
• 6:01
  Speaker 3: And he didn't want to sign it because he what
• 6:04
  Speaker 3: was his reasoning for not signing. He just said no,
• 6:07
  Speaker 3: just flat out no.
• 6:08
  Speaker 2: Yeah. He was like, we're not doing this. I'm like,
• 6:09
  Speaker 2: we're doing what So we're doing We're going to combine everything.
• 6:13
  Speaker 2: I'm like, wait, no, no, no, no, we're not combining anything.
• 6:16
  Speaker 2: There's like, that's not happening.
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: Okay, well I know, O Kelly, a lot of the
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: headlines like that to write about that didn't get married
• 6:23
  Speaker 1: or marriage off because of a pre nup, But clearly
• 6:26
  Speaker 1: there was a lot more going on than the pre nup.
• 6:29
  Speaker 1: That might have been the straw that broke the camel's back. Yes,
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: but you will would you sare to say, now you
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: all shouldn't have gotten married.
• 6:35
  Speaker 2: No, And I touched on that. I just was say,
• 6:37
  Speaker 2: with the messiness and the being crowded, it was just
• 6:40
  Speaker 2: too much. It was just you know, I have a
• 6:42
  Speaker 2: you know, I have two girls, and I have a
• 6:44
  Speaker 2: big life, and you know, just with all of the
• 6:47
  Speaker 2: messy it was just too much. It's just a lot,
• 6:50
  Speaker 2: and like some people have the bandwidth for that. But like,
• 6:52
  Speaker 2: you know, I travel I work in five states. I'm
• 6:55
  Speaker 2: traveling a lot and all these you know, different shows
• 6:57
  Speaker 2: and trying to just to have a good time with
• 7:00
  Speaker 2: my life. Now that my girls are you know, educated
• 7:03
  Speaker 2: at jobs and are feeling good about themselves, like I
• 7:06
  Speaker 2: feel like I'm like, oh my god, I'm like, you know,
• 7:08
  Speaker 2: eighteen again, Like world's my oyster, Like, let's go for it.
• 7:12
  Speaker 2: What can I do now? Like where before I was
• 7:14
  Speaker 2: more like whatever was making money with the things that
• 7:17
  Speaker 2: I would just be laser focused on. And now I'm
• 7:20
  Speaker 2: just very excited about you know, new opportunities. And I
• 7:24
  Speaker 2: think that's something you know that we're not seeing that
• 7:26
  Speaker 2: much of, you know, with women in their fifties.
• 7:29
  Speaker 4: Yep, you know, I hear you.
• 7:30
  Speaker 3: What are y'all thoughts on prenups?
• 7:33
  Speaker 5: You know, I think before it's it's nice to be
• 7:35
  Speaker 5: in a position where you need one. You know, I
• 7:38
  Speaker 5: too got married young the first time, at twenty three,
• 7:40
  Speaker 5: and even when I got married again, in my mid thirties,
• 7:43
  Speaker 5: there wasn't a lot to speak of, so it wasn't
• 7:45
  Speaker 5: even a consideration. But once you I am too, a
• 7:48
  Speaker 5: woman in her fifties with two daughters who rely on
• 7:50
  Speaker 5: me solely for their you know, financial support. I've never
• 7:54
  Speaker 5: considered a prenup before, and I don't know how I
• 7:58
  Speaker 5: feel about it now. I know that I have created
• 8:01
  Speaker 5: a trust after having learned some lessons during one of
• 8:07
  Speaker 5: my divorces, and so I've taken that action and that
• 8:11
  Speaker 5: has left me feeling more protected for my daughters. And
• 8:15
  Speaker 5: you know, everyone's got different avenues, but I learned the
• 8:18
  Speaker 5: hard way that you do need to keep that in
• 8:21
  Speaker 5: mind because, as the saying goes, you don't know who
• 8:23
  Speaker 5: someone is until you divorce them.
• 8:26
  Speaker 2: So I'm not a lawyer. I'm not trying to, you know,
• 8:28
  Speaker 2: tell people about the law. But I'm just you know,
• 8:31
  Speaker 2: explaining what I know. And you know, it's either you
• 8:34
  Speaker 2: either have a trust or a pre nup. So you know,
• 8:37
  Speaker 2: if you're going to go into a relationship and you
• 8:39
  Speaker 2: want to say to the person, Okay, you know we're
• 8:41
  Speaker 2: going to get married. I mean at the end of
• 8:43
  Speaker 2: the day, like it's a transaction. It's always been a transaction,
• 8:45
  Speaker 2: like it's not some new thing. People are like, no, no,
• 8:47
  Speaker 2: it's for love. Yes it is. But when you're sharing finances,
• 8:51
  Speaker 2: whether it's one dollar or ten dollars, that's your money
• 8:55
  Speaker 2: that you made, and the person that you're with should
• 8:58
  Speaker 2: be excited about that saying like that's a great I mean,
• 9:02
  Speaker 2: if he had said that's a really good idea, I
• 9:05
  Speaker 2: really appreciate you taking care of yourself and putting, you know,
• 9:09
  Speaker 2: putting your family first, I probably would have married him,
• 9:12
  Speaker 2: even though everything was messy, and even though there was
• 9:14
  Speaker 2: just so much there was, it was so crowded, I
• 9:18
  Speaker 2: probably would have been like, you know what, I really
• 9:20
  Speaker 2: appreciate that. But because because of that really rubbed me
• 9:24
  Speaker 2: the wrong.
• 9:24
  Speaker 5: Way, I was just gonna say, that's about I think
• 9:27
  Speaker 5: so much of I can only speak for women. We
• 9:29
  Speaker 5: want to be supported, and sometimes that's getting the support
• 9:32
  Speaker 5: to know that we can support ourselves. And if that's
• 9:34
  Speaker 5: not celebrated by the partner or the person who you
• 9:37
  Speaker 5: want to spend the rest of your life with, that
• 9:39
  Speaker 5: is a red flag.
• 9:39
  Speaker 3: Well, and yeah, I will say this too. A lot
• 9:41
  Speaker 3: of and I don't know if this is just now,
• 9:44
  Speaker 3: but at least five girls that I've spoken to about prenups,
• 9:49
  Speaker 3: it was the guy that didn't want to sign the prenup.
• 9:52
  Speaker 3: It was always the guy having an issue with it, like,
• 9:54
  Speaker 3: why do you want me to sign that? And you
• 9:56
  Speaker 3: know my girlfriend who was you know, she was my
• 9:59
  Speaker 3: lash tech, she was just like, he won't sign it.
• 10:01
  Speaker 3: And it's frustrating me that he's just like, I've built
• 10:03
  Speaker 3: this business, I've done this, and there's and I have
• 10:05
  Speaker 3: multiple examples of it's always the guy wrapping up against it.
• 10:07
  Speaker 3: So I'm curious TJ to direct it towards you, like,
• 10:10
  Speaker 3: what do you think that is with the man to not?
• 10:12
  Speaker 1: I was about to ask you, is there an ice
• 10:14
  Speaker 1: and all those friends? Was there some kind of financial
• 10:16
  Speaker 1: imbalance or just maybe.
• 10:19
  Speaker 3: Some are a few are equal in pay and then
• 10:24
  Speaker 3: the others the women? Do you have more money?
• 10:28
  Speaker 1: Did you ever? And I'm gonna don't you dare try
• 10:32
  Speaker 1: and put this.
• 10:32
  Speaker 4: Back on promise.
• 10:33
  Speaker 1: I'm going to answer. I promised you did you ever
• 10:38
  Speaker 1: do one? Did you ever use a prenup?
• 10:41
  Speaker 3: I asked you first, Okay, that's.
• 10:42
  Speaker 1: Fine, I never have my answer, but and then I
• 10:45
  Speaker 1: have an opinion on them as well.
• 10:46
  Speaker 4: But have you ever knew she came.
• 10:48
  Speaker 3: She came to you before you guys get married, and
• 10:50
  Speaker 3: she says, I want a prenup? Would you sign it?
• 10:52
  Speaker 1: I'll sign whatever she wants me to sign if it
• 10:54
  Speaker 1: means I can marry her. Oh, I completely pulled that
• 10:57
  Speaker 1: out of my ass.
• 10:58
  Speaker 4: I didn't, but it was just documented no, no, But my.
• 11:05
  Speaker 1: Feeling on it, and this might sound crazy to you, O,
• 11:07
  Speaker 1: Kelly Jenna, is that there's something that's so unromantic about it.
• 11:12
  Speaker 1: It's something that does make it feel like a business transaction.
• 11:16
  Speaker 1: I get one hundred percent get it, but it just
• 11:19
  Speaker 1: feels icky to me. So I have always been on
• 11:22
  Speaker 1: the higher end or the one who makes more money
• 11:25
  Speaker 1: in my relationships and marriages, but it never crossed my mind.
• 11:28
  Speaker 3: To do so.
• 11:29
  Speaker 1: So then you're saying, so.
• 11:32
  Speaker 2: You either do the trust and if you don't have
• 11:34
  Speaker 2: a trust in place, then you can you should do
• 11:37
  Speaker 2: a prenup and you not should you can.
• 11:51
  Speaker 3: In my last marriage to my husband of almost seven years,
• 11:56
  Speaker 3: I did not have him sign a prenup to me.
• 11:58
  Speaker 3: It was like, we are getting this, this is my
• 12:00
  Speaker 3: one forever and we're getting married. And when he cheated
• 12:05
  Speaker 3: the first round of affairs, I when he was in rehab,
• 12:08
  Speaker 3: I made him sign a post up, but that did
• 12:11
  Speaker 3: not hold up in court. It was not going to
• 12:13
  Speaker 3: hold up in court. My lawyer had said when I
• 12:15
  Speaker 3: finally divorced him that post ups don't hold up as
• 12:19
  Speaker 3: well as prenups, and that he and he told me
• 12:23
  Speaker 3: he was going to fight the post up. And so
• 12:25
  Speaker 3: that's when I just went into my own you know,
• 12:27
  Speaker 3: brain of Excel, Google sheets of Okay, what I think
• 12:30
  Speaker 3: is fair and what is you know, without trying to
• 12:32
  Speaker 3: take because it was I earned most of the money
• 12:35
  Speaker 3: in that relationship. So now in this new relationship, it
• 12:40
  Speaker 3: was it was a really hard conversation to have because
• 12:43
  Speaker 3: I have my entire team of people and lawyers and
• 12:45
  Speaker 3: business managers and looking out for me, and my lawyer
• 12:49
  Speaker 3: was like, this is like getting health insurance, and I'm like,
• 12:52
  Speaker 3: I get that piece of it. I was like, but
• 12:54
  Speaker 3: I'm like, I'm struggling with that. He's like, well, why
• 12:56
  Speaker 3: wouldn't you have health insurance for your life? This is
• 12:59
  Speaker 3: the same thing. I'm like, but it's not. I'm like,
• 13:00
  Speaker 3: he's the love of my life and I don't want
• 13:02
  Speaker 3: to have a pre nap. I don't I go Having
• 13:04
  Speaker 3: said that. Then I look at the other side. I
• 13:06
  Speaker 3: realized how much I lost almost half of my money
• 13:09
  Speaker 3: in my last divorce, money that I worked really hard for.
• 13:12
  Speaker 3: And I come from that single mom of there heart.
• 13:14
  Speaker 3: My mom was a single mom.
• 13:16
  Speaker 4: This is not for me.
• 13:17
  Speaker 3: None of that money is for me. It's for my children,
• 13:19
  Speaker 3: and so if I just want to protect that, and
• 13:21
  Speaker 3: I think when I had the conversation with my husband,
• 13:23
  Speaker 3: now you know, he was very much like you, it's
• 13:26
  Speaker 3: not what we're already going into this to not be together,
• 13:29
  Speaker 3: Like it doesn't feel romantic. It's like and I'm like,
• 13:31
  Speaker 3: I know, and I was like, I don't want it either,
• 13:33
  Speaker 3: like zero part of me wants it. And he's like,
• 13:35
  Speaker 3: I will sign it if you want me to sign it.
• 13:37
  Speaker 3: And you know, I'm not going to actually say what
• 13:39
  Speaker 3: the end decision was, but for for me, it was
• 13:43
  Speaker 3: a it was just a really tough conversation to have.
• 13:45
  Speaker 2: But isn't that so nice? Sorry, it's not so nice
• 13:48
  Speaker 2: though that he said, like if you want that like that.
• 13:52
  Speaker 3: At the end of the day, I think I needed
• 13:53
  Speaker 3: that piece and then whatever we ended up saying it
• 13:55
  Speaker 3: was the right.
• 13:56
  Speaker 2: And that was the other thing too, is that there
• 13:59
  Speaker 2: was no, there was no like gentle conversation about There
• 14:03
  Speaker 2: was no like, you know, I want you to be
• 14:05
  Speaker 2: happy and healthy and make sure that you're safe. And
• 14:08
  Speaker 2: I think that's one thing that is that, you know,
• 14:11
  Speaker 2: there's so many roles of being reversed. There's a lot
• 14:14
  Speaker 2: of women that are making a lot of money. And
• 14:18
  Speaker 2: you know, it's like when I when I was dating
• 14:20
  Speaker 2: before I met him, you know, a lot of guys
• 14:22
  Speaker 2: would be like, oh, you know, Kelly's going to take
• 14:24
  Speaker 2: care of this, and Kelly's doing this, and Kelly's doing that.
• 14:27
  Speaker 2: I'm like, why is Kelly doing everything? Like hello, you
• 14:30
  Speaker 2: can like you know, start doing things as well. And
• 14:35
  Speaker 2: you know, I just I just feel like there's nothing
• 14:37
  Speaker 2: wrong with making money, and there's nothing wrong with being
• 14:40
  Speaker 2: you know, supporting your family and putting your children first
• 14:43
  Speaker 2: and like wanting a nice life for yourself. There's nothing
• 14:46
  Speaker 2: wrong with that. And there's nothing wrong with wanting to
• 14:47
  Speaker 2: have a partner that's involved in that as well. Who's like, Hey,
• 14:51
  Speaker 2: you know what you're doing just a freak job.
• 14:53
  Speaker 4: I'm so proud of you.
• 14:54
  Speaker 1: Because Asten don't get why he would just he just said,
• 14:57
  Speaker 1: but he didn't just give you like a response, you say,
• 15:01
  Speaker 1: you just said no and moved on, is it? I mean,
• 15:03
  Speaker 1: what was the logic behind it? Am I missing? Oh?
• 15:05
  Speaker 4: I was going to ask that question. If you didn't
• 15:07
  Speaker 4: the same exact question, they had to.
• 15:08
  Speaker 1: Give you some reason why besides just no, I refuse.
• 15:12
  Speaker 2: Well, actually he said to me no, and then he
• 15:15
  Speaker 2: was like, I'm gonna have my lawyer go back, and
• 15:18
  Speaker 2: I'm just like no.
• 15:19
  Speaker 3: I was like, that's where it's so transire, that's where
• 15:21
  Speaker 3: it's gets so.
• 15:22
  Speaker 2: And I was like, no, no, no, We're not doing
• 15:24
  Speaker 2: this back and forth. It's like, this is it if
• 15:26
  Speaker 2: you want to be involved or not, and.
• 15:32
  Speaker 4: That's it. That was it.
• 15:33
  Speaker 2: Having done. He had it for a long time. It's
• 15:35
  Speaker 2: not like he had it like a day.
• 15:37
  Speaker 5: Well that I mean, I know, this is crazy. My
• 15:39
  Speaker 5: brain goes straight to a place where, you know, what
• 15:41
  Speaker 5: it all happened the way it was supposed to. Because
• 15:43
  Speaker 5: if he went to that place immediately with you asking
• 15:46
  Speaker 5: for a prenup before you're even even a married couple,
• 15:50
  Speaker 5: My mind goes to what that divorce would have been
• 15:52
  Speaker 5: like had it not worked out. Well, he said, you know,
• 15:54
  Speaker 5: conversation is that I'll take it to my lawyers. That's
• 15:57
  Speaker 5: the worst possible response when you haven't even gotten married.
• 16:00
  Speaker 2: Well, just like by you know, I mean, so we're
• 16:02
  Speaker 2: talking about like you know, would have, could have, should
• 16:06
  Speaker 2: like all these different things. But here's here's the here's
• 16:08
  Speaker 2: the good news. The good news is the law doesn't
• 16:11
  Speaker 2: care if you're madly in love or if you hate
• 16:13
  Speaker 2: each other. The law says you get a certain amount
• 16:16
  Speaker 2: of money regardless if you don't have a trust or
• 16:20
  Speaker 2: a prenup and place, so you know, you can be
• 16:25
  Speaker 2: loved as much as you want. And then what something
• 16:27
  Speaker 2: happens good, bad or ugly, and all of a sudden,
• 16:30
  Speaker 2: like all that money you've worked for on your the
• 16:34
  Speaker 2: male part or the female part is going to the
• 16:36
  Speaker 2: other person. Like just like you said, like you had
• 16:39
  Speaker 2: to give money to another person's like cheating on you.
• 16:41
  Speaker 2: I mean, how that doesn't make you feel you don't
• 16:43
  Speaker 2: like sleep at night and be like, oh my god,
• 16:44
  Speaker 2: I'm so warm and fuzzy because he cheated on me
• 16:47
  Speaker 2: so much money.
• 16:47
  Speaker 3: It's more so just and that is the only that
• 16:50
  Speaker 3: is the only piece that like causes still friction with
• 16:53
  Speaker 3: me and my exses because I pay him child support,
• 16:55
  Speaker 3: I have the kid seventy percent of the time, he
• 16:56
  Speaker 3: took almost half this of money. So it's like it's
• 16:58
  Speaker 3: frustrating to have that where I'm like, I worked my assa,
• 17:02
  Speaker 3: I came from nothing, like my mom worked three jobs.
• 17:04
  Speaker 4: I hadn't.
• 17:05
  Speaker 3: Like I'm the girl that's like the only saw negative
• 17:08
  Speaker 3: in her bank account. So now I'm I'm to a
• 17:10
  Speaker 3: fault too much of a horder in my bank account
• 17:12
  Speaker 3: now because I'm afraid of not and not being there,
• 17:14
  Speaker 3: not being able to support my kids in their sports.
• 17:16
  Speaker 3: Like I had to quit figure skatings my mom couldn't
• 17:18
  Speaker 3: forford it. I never want to have to tell my
• 17:19
  Speaker 3: kids you can't do a sport because mommy doesn't have
• 17:21
  Speaker 3: the money. So like I want to like make sure
• 17:25
  Speaker 3: they're protected. And so you know, like you said, when
• 17:27
  Speaker 3: you divorce someone like he even said, I won't take
• 17:30
  Speaker 3: your money, Well no, because when the divorce is happening,
• 17:33
  Speaker 3: they're going.
• 17:33
  Speaker 4: To go after it all a lot of scot chills.
• 17:36
  Speaker 3: You know that you're getting divorced for a reason. You
• 17:38
  Speaker 3: ain't friends anymore, you're not in love anymore.
• 17:40
  Speaker 5: And when everyone starts lawyering up, it just it goes
• 17:43
  Speaker 5: from you know, amicable divorce to very much the opposite
• 17:48
  Speaker 5: very quickly.
• 17:49
  Speaker 4: And I think that's part of the point.
• 17:50
  Speaker 5: Of this podcast, which is pretty cool, because we've all
• 17:54
  Speaker 5: lived a lot of life and we've all learned lessons
• 17:56
  Speaker 5: the hard way, and that's part of the goal is
• 17:58
  Speaker 5: to hopefully impart some of that with wisdom to listeners
• 18:01
  Speaker 5: to women out there who are looking for love and
• 18:04
  Speaker 5: have gone through some of these tough times where you
• 18:06
  Speaker 5: don't know what it's like until you've walked down that path.
• 18:10
  Speaker 2: I mean with my first with my first ex husband,
• 18:12
  Speaker 2: my only ex husband, you know, we had a mediator
• 18:16
  Speaker 2: and you know it's my you know, our accountant and
• 18:19
  Speaker 2: the mediator, and we went through everything and I just
• 18:21
  Speaker 2: made sure that my ex husband was safe and that
• 18:24
  Speaker 2: I was safe. And you know, it's like I come
• 18:28
  Speaker 2: from like good stock. I'm like, I want people to
• 18:31
  Speaker 2: feel good, Like I want them when they're around me
• 18:33
  Speaker 2: to feel good. I want them to like be able
• 18:35
  Speaker 2: to trust me. That's like super important for me and
• 18:39
  Speaker 2: my ex husband, you know. I mean I made sure
• 18:42
  Speaker 2: that he that we were both like in a good place.
• 18:45
  Speaker 4: And.
• 18:47
  Speaker 2: That was really important to me. And so to come
• 18:50
  Speaker 2: into a situation where I wasn't feeling good after I'm
• 18:53
  Speaker 2: the one that like tied the bow on for my
• 18:55
  Speaker 2: first husband, you know, my my only husband does.
• 18:57
  Speaker 4: First we were just getting caught up in all of
• 18:59
  Speaker 4: our lives.
• 19:00
  Speaker 2: Yeah, my first husband's second husband, eight husbands.
• 19:04
  Speaker 3: Did you consult with anyone with your decision to with
• 19:08
  Speaker 3: my lawyer? Yeah, with my lawyer, no friends or anything.
• 19:11
  Speaker 2: And I also we had just gone to Jamaica with
• 19:13
  Speaker 2: my girls and we were having and my girls were
• 19:15
  Speaker 2: not happy. My oldest was not happy, my youngest was
• 19:17
  Speaker 2: not happy, and I'm just like, what am I doing?
• 19:19
  Speaker 2: My kids are my kids that are like my everything
• 19:22
  Speaker 2: are not happy. And I've broken up with guys before
• 19:25
  Speaker 2: that I've been dating that. I was like, oh they're fun,
• 19:26
  Speaker 2: and my kids are like we hate them. I'm like, okay,
• 19:28
  Speaker 2: you're bye, good bye, You're done. So like they've always
• 19:31
  Speaker 2: been my priority, and they just weren't feeling good too.
• 19:35
  Speaker 2: They just weren't feeling it.
• 19:36
  Speaker 3: There was a lot, So where does that love go then,
• 19:38
  Speaker 3: because obviously you love this man, you know, like, is
• 19:40
  Speaker 3: there any regrets do you like, where do you place
• 19:43
  Speaker 3: this love? Or was it just an immediate turnoff that.
• 19:46
  Speaker 2: It was a turn off, But it was also just
• 19:48
  Speaker 2: like I just well, I mean, if to remember too,
• 19:50
  Speaker 2: it's like I had to move out, and the first
• 19:53
  Speaker 2: night I'm in my ex hus my daughter was staying
• 19:57
  Speaker 2: in my ex husband's apartment, and so I like no
• 20:00
  Speaker 2: place to go. So I'm like, okay, I'm gonna go
• 20:02
  Speaker 2: with my daughter into my ex husband's apartment and there
• 20:05
  Speaker 2: are all these like Sonny angels and then he's got
• 20:07
  Speaker 2: these like symbols, and I wake up and I'm like.
• 20:10
  Speaker 1: What is going on with my life?
• 20:12
  Speaker 2: Do you know what like very like little crazy figurines
• 20:16
  Speaker 2: that kids loved where they're like kind of oddly pornographic,
• 20:21
  Speaker 2: but for kids, they're weird. I don't know, they're not mind.
• 20:23
  Speaker 2: But anyway, I was just like, this is not my life,
• 20:26
  Speaker 2: like the sunny angels and this art, and I'm in
• 20:29
  Speaker 2: the bed with her and the dogs and.
• 20:31
  Speaker 3: I'm just like your ex husband that's the apartment.
• 20:34
  Speaker 2: I'm just like, I'm gonna like lose my mind.
• 20:36
  Speaker 5: You got to that place, Kelly, But how like how
• 20:38
  Speaker 5: much courage did it take? Or I'm just curious for
• 20:41
  Speaker 5: you to actually say I'm calling off the wedding.
• 20:44
  Speaker 4: What was that conversation?
• 20:45
  Speaker 5: Like obviously you knew this would be everywhere because it's
• 20:49
  Speaker 5: been such a public relationship. What went into the decision,
• 20:54
  Speaker 5: how much courage did it take, and.
• 20:57
  Speaker 4: How did it go down?
• 20:59
  Speaker 3: So I was getting a colonic. Those are great. I
• 21:02
  Speaker 3: used to have those in Los Angeles, have known a while.
• 21:05
  Speaker 3: They're so good. We're feeling in the world, but right
• 21:07
  Speaker 3: when we're stout to come out.
• 21:09
  Speaker 1: Where this is the time.
• 21:11
  Speaker 2: Chronics are amazing, so literally, I don't even know what
• 21:16
  Speaker 2: they're just like, they're just amazing. Anyone who has not
• 21:19
  Speaker 2: gotten a chlonic, I love them.
• 21:21
  Speaker 3: I feel so just like light energy.
• 21:23
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I was feeling very stressed out and so I
• 21:25
  Speaker 2: got a colonic and I'm laying down and I was
• 21:28
  Speaker 2: on my phone, well I'm just getting a colonic, and
• 21:32
  Speaker 2: he said something to me along the lines of, you know,
• 21:36
  Speaker 2: you need to if you're going to cancel the wedding,
• 21:38
  Speaker 2: you have to do it now because there's a cancelation policy.
• 21:42
  Speaker 4: Oh my god.
• 21:43
  Speaker 1: He didn't say if.
• 21:43
  Speaker 2: You're going to cancel wedding. He's like, there's a cancelation
• 21:45
  Speaker 2: policy for things. And I was like, I'm sorry, what what? What?
• 21:49
  Speaker 2: I'm sorry?
• 21:50
  Speaker 4: What did I hear that?
• 21:51
  Speaker 2: Did you just text me? I didn't hear it. I
• 21:54
  Speaker 2: was reading it, I'm like, did I just do I
• 21:56
  Speaker 2: need my readers on? Did I just see a cancelation policy?
• 22:00
  Speaker 2: Just was like, we're done.
• 22:03
  Speaker 4: It happened over text where it was I saw it.
• 22:05
  Speaker 2: Yeah, And I called him and I was like, what
• 22:07
  Speaker 2: did you just do? First of all, are you talking
• 22:09
  Speaker 2: to people on my behalf? Like? Are you talking to
• 22:11
  Speaker 2: people that I know? Because that's not okay because if
• 22:14
  Speaker 2: anyone's going to break news, I'm going to break my
• 22:17
  Speaker 2: own news and listen, you know what. I think. He's
• 22:21
  Speaker 2: a really genuinely, very nice guy. He's just not my lobster.
• 22:26
  Speaker 2: He's not my lobster. And you know, I want like
• 22:29
  Speaker 2: someone that makes me feel good about myself. I want
• 22:31
  Speaker 2: someone that like pushes me to be the best version
• 22:34
  Speaker 2: of me. I don't want someone I don't want a
• 22:35
  Speaker 2: messy environment. I don't want someone like talking about cancelation policies.
• 22:39
  Speaker 2: I want people to be like, you know what, you
• 22:41
  Speaker 2: may love you so much, let's fight for this. Yeah,
• 22:44
  Speaker 2: you know I'm coming to get you.
• 22:49
  Speaker 4: It's the wrong that we all want come back and
• 22:52
  Speaker 4: they fight for you. It's hard almost.
• 22:56
  Speaker 3: We want to be able to write, are we canceling
• 22:59
  Speaker 3: this or not, and then have you guys say no,
• 23:00
  Speaker 3: I love you so much, I want to do this.
• 23:02
  Speaker 4: Like that will always chool.
• 23:05
  Speaker 5: If he had said, you know what, money doesn't matter,
• 23:08
  Speaker 5: I just want to be with you no matter what,
• 23:10
  Speaker 5: let's figure this out, you would have policy.
• 23:13
  Speaker 3: I was like, I'm sorry, what, Yeah, we want to
• 23:15
  Speaker 3: be chased?
• 23:16
  Speaker 2: A yes, yes, chase me, chase me.
• 23:18
  Speaker 1: Okay, you we're together two years in total?
• 23:21
  Speaker 4: Right?
• 23:22
  Speaker 1: Okay, you just said something. How long in that two years?
• 23:24
  Speaker 1: If you look back, when did you actually know he
• 23:27
  Speaker 1: was not your crustacean? He was not your lobster?
• 23:31
  Speaker 2: A couple of months and there was an issue a
• 23:33
  Speaker 2: couple of months. Yeah, and I was just like, what
• 23:35
  Speaker 2: is going on? Who are these people?
• 23:37
  Speaker 5: Like?
• 23:38
  Speaker 2: What is happening? See?
• 23:39
  Speaker 1: Doesn't that happen? Only you knew that long ago, but
• 23:43
  Speaker 1: it took two years to finally flesh that out. Is
• 23:47
  Speaker 1: that always or often the case? I don't want to
• 23:49
  Speaker 1: say just with women, but with all of us? Isn't
• 23:51
  Speaker 1: that a problem? Often time we ignore the signs that
• 23:54
  Speaker 1: you clearly saw early on.
• 23:56
  Speaker 3: Yeah, we do, I think, yeah, because we want to
• 24:00
  Speaker 3: push through and go okay, maybe this will change, or
• 24:03
  Speaker 3: you know, we want the love or he's he's good
• 24:05
  Speaker 3: enough maybe, but it's not the best.
• 24:09
  Speaker 2: And you know what it's that's really interesting that you
• 24:10
  Speaker 2: said that, you know, he's like not good enough. And
• 24:14
  Speaker 2: I feel like people are like after I got you know,
• 24:19
  Speaker 2: I called it off. I was with I was at
• 24:20
  Speaker 2: this restaurant in the Hampton's and I sat with some
• 24:23
  Speaker 2: people that I really respect, and you know, we said
• 24:27
  Speaker 2: to me, you know, well, Kelly, everybody has luggage, and
• 24:31
  Speaker 2: I was like, okay, Louis Bauitton, fine, but like a
• 24:34
  Speaker 2: storage unit, like I know, I just can't. I don't
• 24:39
  Speaker 2: care how this lands you guys. I don't care if
• 24:41
  Speaker 2: you guys don't understand.
• 24:44
  Speaker 3: Okay, no, but don't you think older in life that
• 24:46
  Speaker 3: we have more stuff to put into storage like we've
• 24:48
  Speaker 3: got now.
• 24:49
  Speaker 2: It needs to be I have really nice furnitures.
• 24:51
  Speaker 1: I don't have room.
• 24:52
  Speaker 2: But it's how you organize that, right.
• 24:54
  Speaker 4: It can't be all and that is a huge touched.
• 24:59
  Speaker 2: All these little plast things. You can put them in box.
• 25:01
  Speaker 3: It has to be labeled and and nicely put away,
• 25:03
  Speaker 3: which is healed and worked on store.
• 25:05
  Speaker 5: It can't be yes no when you walk in and
• 25:08
  Speaker 5: there's just a mess everywhere, No agreed.
• 25:11
  Speaker 3: So the advice for someone finding love that feels that
• 25:14
  Speaker 3: initial I knew within the first two months what was
• 25:17
  Speaker 3: that piece that would be the the advice that you
• 25:19
  Speaker 3: would give them so that we can stop people in
• 25:21
  Speaker 3: their tracks to then meet the right person.
• 25:23
  Speaker 2: Understanding your bandwidth, I think is like mandatory for your
• 25:27
  Speaker 2: So for your own self, you have to instead of
• 25:29
  Speaker 2: people saying like you, this is okay, this is not okay,
• 25:32
  Speaker 2: you have to understand your own bandwidth. For some people,
• 25:35
  Speaker 2: what's messy is not that messy. For other people, what's
• 25:40
  Speaker 2: you know, what's what's what's a storage unit is? You know,
• 25:45
  Speaker 2: just like carry on luggage. So you just have to
• 25:47
  Speaker 2: understand your own bandwidth and be okay with that, do
• 25:50
  Speaker 2: you know what I mean? And like, you know, you
• 25:53
  Speaker 2: guys have been through a lot together, but you're so connected,
• 25:56
  Speaker 2: Like just just been talking with you before we even
• 25:59
  Speaker 2: started this. You guys so in love and just so
• 26:02
  Speaker 2: just connected. Like you know, it's you were like look
• 26:06
  Speaker 2: at each other when you were talking. You know, it's
• 26:08
  Speaker 2: not just like oh my god, what are they going
• 26:09
  Speaker 2: to say? I mean, you know what she's going to say,
• 26:11
  Speaker 2: and you know what he's going to say, and it's
• 26:13
  Speaker 2: just beautiful and just being able to be open to
• 26:17
  Speaker 2: that other person. And so I don't think the person.
• 26:21
  Speaker 2: You know, it's like everyone's like they they're like, oh,
• 26:23
  Speaker 2: I want to you know Jill's Aaron used to say,
• 26:25
  Speaker 2: I want a PJ. No, no, no, everyone go for
• 26:27
  Speaker 2: a TJ. Like that's like that's the real you know,
• 26:32
  Speaker 2: that's just what life is about, just like sharing memories.
• 26:35
  Speaker 2: So you have to understand your bandwidth and know like
• 26:38
  Speaker 2: what you can handle and kind of what you can't.
• 26:50
  Speaker 1: We will say first, thank you for the kind words.
• 26:53
  Speaker 1: That's true. I was like, oh, I spend a short
• 26:54
  Speaker 1: time with you before we came in here, but is
• 26:58
  Speaker 1: was there ever did you all spend in time trying
• 27:00
  Speaker 1: to reconcile after you cut off the wedding?
• 27:02
  Speaker 3: Was there ever a chance did he say, hey, I
• 27:05
  Speaker 3: want to go to therapy?
• 27:05
  Speaker 2: Maybe yeah? Oh we did go to therapy once. And
• 27:08
  Speaker 2: then I was I was like, this is not therapy.
• 27:09
  Speaker 2: I was like, this is babysitting for him. I was like,
• 27:11
  Speaker 2: I'm not doing this. This is like I'm like, the
• 27:13
  Speaker 2: therapist is supposed to be like, here are the tools
• 27:14
  Speaker 2: in your tool belt, use this one and she was like, Oh,
• 27:17
  Speaker 2: you're so handsome and cute and fun, and everybody's not
• 27:20
  Speaker 2: nice to you. I'm like, I'm gonna kill myself.
• 27:21
  Speaker 1: He charmed the therapist. He's a charming guy.
• 27:24
  Speaker 2: He's a very charming guy. He's very he's a great guy.
• 27:27
  Speaker 1: Just not for me.
• 27:27
  Speaker 2: It's just not my lobster.
• 27:29
  Speaker 3: Well, this show is a dating show. So now we
• 27:32
  Speaker 3: know that you're out there in the dating world.
• 27:35
  Speaker 1: Oh wow, oh yes outside No.
• 27:41
  Speaker 3: Wait, did I hear a rumor that you were dated
• 27:44
  Speaker 3: with Bethany's. Oh my god, what I talk about?
• 27:47
  Speaker 2: This is like crazy.
• 27:49
  Speaker 3: So my last Bethany's as the one that no no, no, no, okay.
• 27:53
  Speaker 2: So I'm in the Hamptons with my I'm like, you
• 27:56
  Speaker 2: know what, I'm gonna rent this house in the Hamptons.
• 27:58
  Speaker 2: I am getting my license in Texas. It's one hundred
• 28:01
  Speaker 2: and eighty hours. I'm going to study, do my stuff,
• 28:02
  Speaker 2: spend time with my kids. Learned to play polo, learn
• 28:05
  Speaker 2: to do something that's like so difficult. I'm going to
• 28:08
  Speaker 2: learn that and just really, you know, take myself out
• 28:11
  Speaker 2: of like all my little you know, drama filled you know, environment,
• 28:16
  Speaker 2: and just go do something that's different. And just like
• 28:18
  Speaker 2: get excited about life again. And so you know, my
• 28:22
  Speaker 2: daughter's like Mom, you know, she's like, you can just
• 28:25
  Speaker 2: go on Riot. But you you know, like at the
• 28:26
  Speaker 2: beginning when I was on Ryo, I was like, people
• 28:29
  Speaker 2: are like, they're like, oh, just say hi to people
• 28:31
  Speaker 2: say like hi Hi. I was like, this is not
• 28:33
  Speaker 2: working for me.
• 28:33
  Speaker 3: It's so it always just ends at the high like
• 28:35
  Speaker 3: I think people just want a bigger your You're cute, cute,
• 28:38
  Speaker 3: you liked her, and then in just the conversation ends right.
• 28:40
  Speaker 2: When I was yeah before and I Waskeday, I was
• 28:41
  Speaker 2: like hi Hi. I was like, what's this not happening?
• 28:44
  Speaker 2: And so she's like Mom, She's like she's like say
• 28:47
  Speaker 2: something like your trouble And I was like, oh, So
• 28:51
  Speaker 2: I was like, you know whatever, I usually say aloha.
• 28:54
  Speaker 2: That's usually my fan like aloha, and they're like are
• 28:56
  Speaker 2: you from Hawaii. I'm like I could be like, I'm
• 28:58
  Speaker 2: you know.
• 28:58
  Speaker 4: Just I love trap there exactly, thank you.
• 29:02
  Speaker 2: And so I was like, okay, I'm just you know,
• 29:05
  Speaker 2: like and then my other friend is like she's a lawyer.
• 29:07
  Speaker 2: She's like, it's a numbers game, just like all these guys.
• 29:09
  Speaker 2: So I'm like okay, like like like like oh okay,
• 29:12
  Speaker 2: like oh oh yeah, like like like like whatever. And
• 29:15
  Speaker 2: then they you know, I'm like a loha aloha, just
• 29:17
  Speaker 2: trying to be polite, and my my oldest starter is like,
• 29:19
  Speaker 2: you're not supposed to do the first one. I was like,
• 29:21
  Speaker 2: it's a loha. It's not like I'm saying like let's
• 29:23
  Speaker 2: have sex, like and she's like, eh, you're so grown.
• 29:28
  Speaker 2: So cut to there's this one guy that's from California,
• 29:33
  Speaker 2: and I was like, oh, this guy looks really nice
• 29:35
  Speaker 2: and he's like near Malibu, and I have this beautiful
• 29:38
  Speaker 2: listening in Malibu, and so I was like I spent
• 29:39
  Speaker 2: spent a lot of time there. And so I was like, oh,
• 29:42
  Speaker 2: just you know in my head, you know how you're
• 29:44
  Speaker 2: like you're like, oh, that's kind of nice. And I
• 29:46
  Speaker 2: wasn't thinking about it. And then he was like starting
• 29:48
  Speaker 2: to chat with me, and I was like oh okay,
• 29:49
  Speaker 2: and he's like, we should move over to your cell phone.
• 29:51
  Speaker 2: I was like, my what you want my cell phone number?
• 29:55
  Speaker 2: Like how does this work? So I was like okay.
• 29:58
  Speaker 2: I was like giving my cell phone number and then
• 29:59
  Speaker 2: he's like like texting me at night. I was like
• 30:01
  Speaker 2: like I'm not a night person. I'm like a morning person.
• 30:04
  Speaker 2: So I was like, why is my phone going on?
• 30:06
  Speaker 2: What is going on? And he was like, lah, whatever,
• 30:09
  Speaker 2: I have kids, I have all this stuff. And so
• 30:11
  Speaker 2: this goes on for a while and then I'm at
• 30:13
  Speaker 2: dinner at Bill Boukay in sag Harbor. I'm hunning very
• 30:16
  Speaker 2: bougie you guys. So we're in sag Harbor at Bill Okay,
• 30:19
  Speaker 2: which is a beautiful restaurant, and we're all dressed up
• 30:21
  Speaker 2: because we've gone out with for a work dinner, and
• 30:24
  Speaker 2: my two girls were there and I walk out. He
• 30:27
  Speaker 2: goes Kelly, and my oldest daughter is like hell, and
• 30:31
  Speaker 2: my younger sons like I don't think you know my mom,
• 30:33
  Speaker 2: Like we have no idea who you are. Basically like
• 30:36
  Speaker 2: she's totally giving him the cold shoulder, and he's like Kelly,
• 30:40
  Speaker 2: He's like, I'm a twan Riah and I'm just like
• 30:43
  Speaker 2: and like everyone's just like and I was like, oh
• 30:46
  Speaker 2: my god. I was like hi again, I to see you.
• 30:48
  Speaker 2: And then my daughter's like, I'm getting ice cream bye,
• 30:50
  Speaker 2: and I'm like I'm I'm just gonna go get ice cream,
• 30:52
  Speaker 2: and so like I literally I'm awkwarded, this was the guy. Yeah,
• 30:55
  Speaker 2: don't look at me like that.
• 30:58
  Speaker 1: This was the guy.
• 30:59
  Speaker 2: This was the guy I was texting with. So then
• 31:02
  Speaker 2: whatever I text him. I didn't text him my best friend.
• 31:05
  Speaker 2: My friends like she texted him and she's like, yeah,
• 31:07
  Speaker 2: so nice to see you. We should connect because she's
• 31:10
  Speaker 2: like you gotta like get him to connect.
• 31:11
  Speaker 3: Right, And how long goes this?
• 31:13
  Speaker 2: I need like three weeks ago.
• 31:17
  Speaker 1: This is sounding like a good story to me.
• 31:21
  Speaker 3: Then like I'm related to Bethany or not.
• 31:26
  Speaker 2: Okay, so I'm gonna go I'm gonna talk past her. Okay.
• 31:29
  Speaker 2: So so we are like I'm like, he's like texting
• 31:33
  Speaker 2: back and forth all this stuff, and then all of
• 31:34
  Speaker 2: a sudden, like I don't care from him for a
• 31:35
  Speaker 2: couple of days. But I was like, oh whatever, like
• 31:37
  Speaker 2: it's you know, I'm doing my stuff. And so then
• 31:40
  Speaker 2: it's after Labor Day weekend and I'm in the Hampton's
• 31:44
  Speaker 2: and on Ria it tells you where people are. I
• 31:46
  Speaker 2: did not know this, but I found out this that
• 31:48
  Speaker 2: it says like visiting, visiting in wherever. I was like, wow,
• 31:52
  Speaker 2: they oh my god, you know where people are.
• 31:54
  Speaker 4: So that's fun.
• 31:55
  Speaker 2: So he's like, are you in Montalk and I'm like,
• 31:57
  Speaker 2: I happened to be in Montalk doing a photos and
• 32:01
  Speaker 2: he was like, let's meet for a drink. My kids
• 32:03
  Speaker 2: are leaving and I was like okay. So then he
• 32:06
  Speaker 2: I was like, oh, you know, I have to be
• 32:07
  Speaker 2: back in New York, so I had to be in
• 32:08
  Speaker 2: New York early. And I was like, well, we can
• 32:10
  Speaker 2: meet for a drink, but like I'm driving two mon
• 32:12
  Speaker 2: talk and it's spotty in the Hampton. So I was
• 32:14
  Speaker 2: like it's either now or like basically never, so you know,
• 32:20
  Speaker 2: and we've been like texting a lot, like he was
• 32:22
  Speaker 2: like always texting me like and so then I was
• 32:26
  Speaker 2: like I have to leave, like I can't be in
• 32:28
  Speaker 2: wait for you in Bridge Hampton.
• 32:30
  Speaker 3: So a week later, this is very dispensable.
• 32:32
  Speaker 4: I'm here, I.
• 32:34
  Speaker 2: Like my friend goes, wait, is this the guy that
• 32:39
  Speaker 2: you were dating? And I'm like who what? And it
• 32:44
  Speaker 2: just like sends me page six and it's like Brittany
• 32:51
  Speaker 2: dating this guy and I'm like wait what. I'm like,
• 32:55
  Speaker 2: so he's dating her and me? So I sent him
• 32:58
  Speaker 2: a text and I'm like I'm like, oh. I was
• 33:00
  Speaker 2: like the Hamptons is such a beautiful place, Like I
• 33:02
  Speaker 2: hope you come back. I'm really really sorry you are
• 33:05
  Speaker 2: a part of the dark side. And then he called me.
• 33:10
  Speaker 5: But when he was actively dating or is actively dating
• 33:14
  Speaker 5: Bethany Franklin, he's texting with.
• 33:17
  Speaker 2: You, Yeah, he said that like that. She was like,
• 33:20
  Speaker 2: I don't feel like this is going anywhere, And so
• 33:23
  Speaker 2: then he started texting me. I'm like, so now I'm like,
• 33:24
  Speaker 2: you're sloppy seconds no thank you to no one ever
• 33:28
  Speaker 2: like no thank you. I'm like, oh my god, hidios.
• 33:30
  Speaker 3: The dating world is so tough.
• 33:32
  Speaker 5: I was going to say, so is that small of
• 33:34
  Speaker 5: a pool to pick from here in New York?
• 33:36
  Speaker 4: By that can happen.
• 33:38
  Speaker 2: Even worse than I mean, first of all, like like
• 33:41
  Speaker 2: whatever you think about her, like like her or not
• 33:43
  Speaker 2: like her every single like almost I would personally.
• 33:47
  Speaker 3: She's always been so kind and lovely to me with
• 33:49
  Speaker 3: a podcasts and through dms.
• 33:52
  Speaker 2: But like, yeah, that's amazing for you. She's been opposite
• 33:58
  Speaker 2: to me.
• 33:58
  Speaker 4: Oh no, awful.
• 34:00
  Speaker 3: I'm so sorry.
• 34:01
  Speaker 4: I just I love that Jane is just now getting
• 34:03
  Speaker 4: filled in on this. I'm so sorry.
• 34:06
  Speaker 2: She's like my quote unquote.
• 34:07
  Speaker 3: Like like you guys to get along in the show,
• 34:11
  Speaker 3: like millionaires show.
• 34:12
  Speaker 4: I didn't know.
• 34:14
  Speaker 2: She takes life to another level. It's whatever she can
• 34:17
  Speaker 2: to get, like anything. She's very thirsty. So cut to
• 34:21
  Speaker 2: She's like, so I was like, I'll meet a guy
• 34:24
  Speaker 2: and I'll be like going on a date and he's like, oh,
• 34:27
  Speaker 2: so your best friend. I'm like i dated her. I'm like,
• 34:29
  Speaker 2: who's my best friend?
• 34:32
  Speaker 4: But really, wow, Brittany, I'm like, wait a.
• 34:36
  Speaker 2: Minute, I'm sorry, Brittany.
• 34:37
  Speaker 4: It's just it's just a moniker. It's a moniker that
• 34:40
  Speaker 4: was just created. Okay, got it.
• 34:43
  Speaker 5: So I was just like.
• 34:46
  Speaker 3: I used to want to hear but her real name,
• 34:48
  Speaker 3: Brittany Britney Frank.
• 34:50
  Speaker 4: It's it's yes, it is.
• 34:52
  Speaker 5: It's just you know what, when you don't have good
• 34:55
  Speaker 5: feelings about someone, I understand this, you just don't want
• 34:58
  Speaker 5: to even give their name.
• 34:59
  Speaker 4: Powers, come up with a different names.
• 35:01
  Speaker 3: I've made up names in my book to not give
• 35:03
  Speaker 3: people power. There you go, and legal reasons. But that's
• 35:06
  Speaker 3: that's going.
• 35:08
  Speaker 1: But were you interested in the guy genuinely?
• 35:10
  Speaker 2: He was. He's a really like nice guy, like he
• 35:13
  Speaker 2: has kids my age.
• 35:15
  Speaker 3: Disappointed.
• 35:16
  Speaker 2: Yeah, And I was like, oh my god, like we
• 35:18
  Speaker 2: have like similar like you know, we're interests and I
• 35:21
  Speaker 2: was like, Oh, that would have been fun, but I
• 35:23
  Speaker 2: was like, you still pursue you Well, he gave me
• 35:25
  Speaker 2: this weird phone call which is kind of like basically
• 35:28
  Speaker 2: like if it doesn't.
• 35:28
  Speaker 3: Work out, I'll let you know, trying to go back
• 35:31
  Speaker 3: to Britain.
• 35:32
  Speaker 2: I don't know what he was doing, but I was
• 35:33
  Speaker 2: just like, I'm not interested in anything.
• 35:35
  Speaker 3: The only thing that I will say about Ryah, which
• 35:37
  Speaker 3: is the piece I don't like, Like I know that
• 35:38
  Speaker 3: I was some of my friends on the time that
• 35:41
  Speaker 3: I was on Riot up he was matching. Certain people
• 35:45
  Speaker 3: would match with some of my girlfriends and they're like, oh,
• 35:47
  Speaker 3: like my girlfriend Caitlin, she's lovely, and she'll be like, oh,
• 35:50
  Speaker 3: you match with him too. I matched with him, and
• 35:52
  Speaker 3: I'm like, oh, you can totally have him if you want. Like,
• 35:54
  Speaker 3: I don't think there's but everyone is kind of talking
• 35:56
  Speaker 3: to everyone until it becomes, you know, a thing. So
• 36:00
  Speaker 3: I'm not giving him grace whatsoever. Like if he was
• 36:02
  Speaker 3: actually in a relationship, that's messed up. But I will
• 36:04
  Speaker 3: give grace to the guy. Where I feel like a
• 36:05
  Speaker 3: lot of guys are called out for talking to different
• 36:08
  Speaker 3: people if you're just dating. That's the dating world. You're
• 36:10
  Speaker 3: talking to different people until I don't know. It's just
• 36:12
  Speaker 3: my personal opinion. For I'm not totally bashing the dude.
• 36:16
  Speaker 2: Like listen, Like, do I think that he's a bad person, No?
• 36:20
  Speaker 2: But do I think that he loves housewives? Yes?
• 36:23
  Speaker 1: He knew what he was doing. You can't.
• 36:27
  Speaker 2: All he has to do is google and being you
• 36:30
  Speaker 2: know what I mean, he knew exactly what the situation is,
• 36:34
  Speaker 2: and people are googling people like I don't necessarily like
• 36:37
  Speaker 2: to do that because.
• 36:38
  Speaker 3: I didn't google you for I didn't know the drama,
• 36:42
  Speaker 3: so I apolish. I just figured, like, you know, that
• 36:45
  Speaker 3: was like kind of show made.
• 36:46
  Speaker 2: I didn't know it was, well it was supposed to be,
• 36:49
  Speaker 2: but then it was like life made, and I was like,
• 36:50
  Speaker 2: this is so weird. I was like, I don't even
• 36:52
  Speaker 2: know what's going on here.
• 36:53
  Speaker 3: What do you think makes a person thirsty?
• 36:58
  Speaker 2: Just constantly going after you for things or just commenting
• 37:05
  Speaker 2: just you know, just genuinely inherently just mean things, or
• 37:09
  Speaker 2: going after people that are like I think one of
• 37:11
  Speaker 2: the things that at the very beginning, which we're not
• 37:14
  Speaker 2: talking about it, but just like what I don't like
• 37:16
  Speaker 2: in general is that going after people that are like
• 37:19
  Speaker 2: doing good things, Like I don't go after you to
• 37:23
  Speaker 2: say like, oh my god, like you've had three marriages,
• 37:26
  Speaker 2: I've only had one marriage. I'm better than you. Like
• 37:29
  Speaker 2: I'm like, oh my god, I have empathy. I'm like,
• 37:30
  Speaker 2: oh my, there must have been something happening. So a
• 37:32
  Speaker 2: thirsty person to someone like like goes after someone who's
• 37:35
  Speaker 2: successful so that they can hop on that success, but
• 37:38
  Speaker 2: then drag that person's success down so that they can
• 37:41
  Speaker 2: kind of prop themselves up. So that's kind of how
• 37:45
  Speaker 2: I see.
• 37:45
  Speaker 3: It makes sense. You don't know the full picture of things, right, And.
• 37:48
  Speaker 2: I'm always like tell me, like, yeah, you know, but
• 37:51
  Speaker 2: then you know, I guess from being on television, people
• 37:53
  Speaker 2: just genuinely think that you know, we know everything. I'm
• 37:57
  Speaker 2: always like, listen, if you want me to know your story,
• 37:59
  Speaker 2: you can send your bio to me beforehand and I'll
• 38:02
  Speaker 2: read it. Like That's how they were. They were like,
• 38:04
  Speaker 2: you don't know everything about me. I'm like, no, I've
• 38:07
  Speaker 2: never even met you before. I'm trying to learn. You
• 38:10
  Speaker 2: can give me a chance to learn.
• 38:12
  Speaker 4: Kelly, what is the dating world? Like?
• 38:14
  Speaker 5: You are fifty six, yes, stunning, gorgeous you there's a
• 38:19
  Speaker 5: trend and I'm living it actually right now, where women
• 38:23
  Speaker 5: are dating and it's perfectly acceptable dating younger men. What's
• 38:27
  Speaker 5: your thought on that and what do you like when
• 38:29
  Speaker 5: you're looking at who you might date. What do you
• 38:32
  Speaker 5: give as an age range that you'd be willing to date?
• 38:34
  Speaker 5: How low would you go?
• 38:35
  Speaker 4: How high would you go?
• 38:36
  Speaker 2: You know this is numberwise? Well, because like you know,
• 38:38
  Speaker 2: I always like defer to my kids about everything because
• 38:40
  Speaker 2: it's like there are my like, you know, life arbiters
• 38:43
  Speaker 2: and I'm like, okay, so what is it? And they're like, mom,
• 38:46
  Speaker 2: so like my oldest is twenty six. She's like, mom,
• 38:48
  Speaker 2: I'm twenty six, so you can't go to thirty. I'm like,
• 38:49
  Speaker 2: I didn't say I was going to thirty. She's like, well,
• 38:52
  Speaker 2: some guys at thirty might like you. I'm like, well, okay,
• 38:55
  Speaker 2: but I didn't say that. You said that, So I
• 38:58
  Speaker 2: think like mid sixty and like, you know, mid forties
• 39:02
  Speaker 2: is you know good, like you know, ten years younger,
• 39:05
  Speaker 2: ten years older. I think it's like a good thing.
• 39:07
  Speaker 2: I mean I did date one time, one guy that
• 39:09
  Speaker 2: was fifteen years younger than me, the nicest human, I mean,
• 39:12
  Speaker 2: he was such a smoke show God, he was so long.
• 39:15
  Speaker 3: What happened so much? The reason was the age difference
• 39:21
  Speaker 3: in issue and the nicest person.
• 39:23
  Speaker 2: On the planet, it was, it was just he was
• 39:26
  Speaker 2: just too young.
• 39:26
  Speaker 4: He was too young. He was too young.
• 39:27
  Speaker 3: And what made it too young?
• 39:28
  Speaker 2: Because he was fifteen years younger than me, And that
• 39:31
  Speaker 2: was just.
• 39:31
  Speaker 3: The number that was bothering here was there an actual reason.
• 39:33
  Speaker 2: For it was the number. I just felt like he
• 39:35
  Speaker 2: was just too young. I was just like and like
• 39:38
  Speaker 2: I went out to dinner with one time with his
• 39:39
  Speaker 2: friends and they were all young, and I was like,
• 39:41
  Speaker 2: this is too young.
• 39:42
  Speaker 3: But that's like that I don't know, but I'm like,
• 39:44
  Speaker 3: I mean, I get that the same time. Like that
• 39:46
  Speaker 3: Ann Hathaway movie, I'm like, I just I think there's
• 39:49
  Speaker 3: I don't want people just to focus on the number.
• 39:51
  Speaker 4: I don't.
• 39:52
  Speaker 3: I love that movie.
• 39:52
  Speaker 4: I thought was sod. I read the book I loved
• 39:55
  Speaker 4: I loved that.
• 39:55
  Speaker 2: I loved it. I ran to.
• 39:58
  Speaker 3: I love that movie.
• 39:59
  Speaker 2: I did.
• 40:00
  Speaker 5: Well.
• 40:00
  Speaker 2: It was a lot.
• 40:00
  Speaker 4: He was in his twenties.
• 40:02
  Speaker 3: I mean, but love is love, okay, right, I love it?
• 40:06
  Speaker 5: Well.
• 40:06
  Speaker 2: You know what the thing is too is it's like
• 40:08
  Speaker 2: twenty years I when I was dating this guy, who
• 40:11
  Speaker 2: was fifteen, who is just so attractive. I'll tell his
• 40:14
  Speaker 2: name is Alejandro when he's just so attractive and what
• 40:17
  Speaker 2: you know, he's hot with a name like so well
• 40:20
  Speaker 2: mannered and nice and kind of attractive. He you know,
• 40:25
  Speaker 2: he was so nice to my kids, but my kids
• 40:27
  Speaker 2: were younger, and I just was like, I knew that
• 40:31
  Speaker 2: he wanted more kids, and I was like, I don't
• 40:34
  Speaker 2: know if that was going to be something that we
• 40:37
  Speaker 2: could do, and you know, he was also you know,
• 40:40
  Speaker 2: it was just like in his early he was thirty
• 40:43
  Speaker 2: and so he was like, you know, just trying to
• 40:45
  Speaker 2: like get his life started, and I just didn't think
• 40:47
  Speaker 2: that that was like appropriate.
• 40:49
  Speaker 1: We have so much more to talk with Kelly about
• 40:51
  Speaker 1: when we continue our conversation. If you are single and
• 40:54
  Speaker 1: ready to find love again, call us at one eight
• 40:57
  Speaker 1: four four four I Do Pod. That's a eight four
• 41:00
  Speaker 1: four four four three six seven six three, or you
• 41:04
  Speaker 1: can email us at idopod at iHeartRadio dot com. That's
• 41:08
  Speaker 1: idopod at iHeartRadio dot com. Or you can follow us
• 41:12
  Speaker 1: on Instagram at I Do Part two Pod. That's I
• 41:16
  Speaker 1: Do Part two. That's the digit two in the middle
• 41:20
  Speaker 1: of there. I Do Part two pod and iHeartRadio podcast
• 41:23
  Speaker 1: where falling in love is the main objective.