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How do narcissists make you feel bad for them? · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  What is going on? Beautiful people.
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  Today we're talking about how do narcissists make you feel bad
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  for them if you're new here? My name is Lee Hammock.
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  I'm a clinically diagnosed narcissist.
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  And welcome to another episode of The Narcissist Code.
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  Boom. Welcome back, Welcome back,
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  welcome back. Y'all y'all.
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  Hear that slight melody in the background?
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  Now I'm adding background. Yeah, I'm upgrading the channel
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  piece by piece by piece. So shout out to everybody,
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  sending the sending in the Super chats and whatnot and the Super
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  stickers and yeah, it's super like I'm using it wisely.
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  I appreciate y'all seriously, But yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
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  Yo, how do narcissistic people make you feel bad for them?
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  This is a tactic that a lot of narcissists use.
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  Y'all So this is not just like something that one or two
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  narcissists use. This is something that a lot, a
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  lot of narcissistic people will pull out of.
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  The woodworks, will use, will weaponize like your empathy yo
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  you you're empathetic. A lot of people consider
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  themselves empaths. Even though I I I can say y'all,
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  I don't know exactly what an empath is, but a lot of I know
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  what it pertains of but a lot of people consider themselves
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  empaths because you have high levels of empathy, you consider
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  yourself an empathetic person and whatnot.
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  So this happens right here. It really does.
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  This is one of those things that happens all the time where
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  narcissists and toxic people will literally use your own
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  empathy, your kindness, your compassion.
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  They will use it against you in in any way possible to make you
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  do their bidding, to make you feel a certain type of way to
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  get you to do what they want you to do.
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  Point blank, period in the story.
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  That's how it goes. Y'all that is that.
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  That is literally how it how it works itself out a lot of times
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  in these spaces with narcissistic people.
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  Like, if you are a kind, caring, empathetic person, this is what
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  happens. This is part of the dynamic.
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  This is part of the situation. This is part of the scenario of
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  how things typically go, you know, like, literally, like, so
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  if you're dealing with the horses, like, just kind of, I
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  feel like I want to say, buckle your seat belt, but you don't
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  have to buckle your seat belt because you got me.
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  You listening right here? This is I'm your seat belt.
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  Buckle up. You know, watch out because they
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  will. Like I said, narcissist.
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  They will play on. They will just you.
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  They will. They will literally just flip
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  the script on you. You know they will you.
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  They will weaponize their trauma against you as well.
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  The 1st way I said they will weaponize your empathy and
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  compassion against you. Like, just because you're a
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  kind, caring, compassionate person, they will take that and
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  then they will weaponize, they will use that to weaponize their
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  own childhood trauma or adult trauma or traumatic experiences
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  that they may or may not have went through.
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  Y'all because some people do lie about their childhoods.
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  Some people do lie about the traumatic experiences.
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  Some people do and do, can't and will lie about situations like
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  that. It's just, it's just part of
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  you. It's part of the paradigm of
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  dealing with a toxic, narcissistic person, right?
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  They do this type of stuff all the damn time, all the time, all
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  the time. So if you're kind and caring and
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  like you like let's say you catch them cheating.
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  I always talk about cheating because it's easy.
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  I know not all every single 100% narcissists cheat, but the kind
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  like cheating is just easy because a lot of people have
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  been cheating on by narcissistic people.
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  But let's say you call them stealing money.
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  You can catch them stealing money.
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  You can catch them lying to you. You catch them smoking again
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  once they when they said they stopped, you can catch them, you
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  know, doing some gambling, whatever it is, you can catch
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  them in the act of doing something and instead of taking
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  accountability, they will just make you feel that for them.
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  Hey, I just. I just can't stop doing this.
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  I just. I know I keep.
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  I keep failing you over and over and over again.
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  I just wish I could stop failing you.
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  I wish I could stop being such a failure.
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  I just can't believe my mom, you know?
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  My mom used to beat me when I was little old or my dad.
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  My dad walked out. My dad walked out on me.
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  My mom walked out of me. Everybody walked out on me.
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  And like, I've been raising myself since I was four years
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  old. No help.
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  You know, they will say things like that to make you feel bad.
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  They absolutely will. Because it work.
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  Yeah. Does it work?
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  Yes, it absolutely works. It's just one of those things,
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  yeah, it's just one of those things that consistently works.
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  And so why would they change it up?
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  If they can successfully make you feel bad for them, why would
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  they change that up? You know, why would they switch
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  up the script if they can? If every time they do something
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  bad, all they do something bad or horrible or out of line
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  towards you, why would they switch it up?
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  Like weaponizing your empathy or using your using their own
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  trauma against them? I guess you, Bill, Why would
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  they do that? Because it works like
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  narcissism. And the reason why they do it?
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  Because victims, they like playing the victim.
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  You know, they love playing the victim.
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  Because victims get sympathy, victims get attention, victims
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  get empathy, compassion victims get money.
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  Some people donate money to people who think they are
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  victims and it comes out, oh, that's not a victim.
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  This is a scam. You've been scammed.
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  Narcissistic people are relationship scammers.
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  You know what I mean? Credit cards.
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  And the scammers, Panda, panda back.
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  I'm just telling you this. What happened?
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  They're relationship scammers. They will literally play the
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  victim, weaponize it against you.
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  And then, yeah, they just scam you out of your heart.
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  They scam you out of your compassion.
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  They, you know, they scam you out of your money too sometimes,
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  you know, not all the time. They scam you out of your money
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  too. You know They don't care.
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  Narcissistic people want to be served in any way possible.
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  They want to get their need. As long as they are getting
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  their needs met. They don't care who they run
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  over the top of. They don't care who they're
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  hurting or harming. They don't y'all just being
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  realistic. They don't care.
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  But like but like why do they? Why do they keep doing it?
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  Y'all if they keep If it works, why?
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  If it works, why fix it? If it's not broken to them, why
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  fix it? Even though they might be a
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  broken person? It's not their Their methods are
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  not broken, so why would they change up something that's
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  working for them? That's why I just tell when I
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  tell y'all that it's going to keep happening.
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  As long as it keep, as long as it keeps happening, it's going
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  to keep happening. Believe me, I know, believe,
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  believe me, you know, believe me.
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  Because they absolutely will keep doing the same thing over
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  and over again. If you if they can put their
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  hands on you and they can start hitting themselves, you see what
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  I'm saying? They'll they'll put their hands
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  on you and then they'll start beating themselves up because
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  they feel so bad about hitting you.
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  They feel they're a monster, they're monstrous.
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  They're doing stuff like that because they get you to feel bad
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  for them. Like a a real life example of
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  this is that the Jonathan Majors situation.
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  You know if you look at Jonathan Majors the actor, model whatnot
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  he sent he allegedly well these the text messages are real but
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  the circumstances are alleged. You know the text messages are
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  real. Like the parent allegedly he put
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  his hands on his ex and his ex went to the he was thinking
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  about going to the hospital and he got her to feel bad for him
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  by just saying, hey look you're going to ruin my career guess
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  what's going to happen to me if you go to the hospital think
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  about me. You got to protect us, protect
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  me, protect us. Like think about what's going to
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  happen to me. Then then in these text messages
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  he started threatening to UN alive himself.
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  He's like, you know what, forget it.
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  I'm just going to go take my life.
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  I'm just going to end my life right now.
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  This is real life happening. Just Google Jonathan Majors
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  court you will say they. I just did AI did a recent video
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  about it like literally and he's just getting hurt to feel bad
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  for him. It's just like, look you first
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  of all he said you're going to ruin my career.
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  Then he said like doing this to me, he's going to make me want
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  to underlie myself because I'm such a monster.
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  I'm such this. I'm such that he keeps doing.
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  Yeah. Does it work?
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  Yeah, it works. And he's going to keep doing
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  that type of stuff because it works.
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  It's a real life example of this happening.
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  Like literally they make you feel bad for them for something
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  that they have done to you. You know, they make you
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  apologize you like they'll do this type of stuff where you'll
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  feel bad for them and then you will end up apologizing to them
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  for something that they did to you.
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  You will. You will apologize to them for
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  something that they did to you, something that they put you
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  through some some hurt, some pain, some lies, some
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  manipulation. They would just keep doing this
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  stuff over and over and over again because it works, yes.
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  So it's up to you to protect yourself against this, because
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  if you get in, like, of course it's going to make my work once
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  or twice because you're a kind, caring, compassionate person or
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  whatnot. You may be, you may.
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  But if they start doing it again and again and again, like you
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  keep hearing the same excuses again and again and again,
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  That's a pattern. It's it's a cycle.
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  It's cyclical. It's a cycle.
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  So if it's a pattern, then that's how it's going to go.
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  You know, that's the space that a lot of people fall into.
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  That's the dynamic that a lot of people fall into.
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  That's what it is. That's what it's going to keep
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  happening to. Narcissists keep happening to
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  toxic people, like because they're going to, they're just
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  going to fall back into it. You know they love weaponizing
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  your own stuff against you, where you end up apologizing to
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  them like you catch them. You catch them cheating by going
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  through their phone. You catch them lying about going
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  through their phone, Like let's just say you you went through
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  their phone and found out that they got fired from their job.
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  They've been leaving every single day at the same time and
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  coming back at the same time, but they've been fired for for
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  three months. And then you went through the
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  phone and found that out. It's somehow it's your fault for
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  going through the phone. Now you feel bad.
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  You say now you apologizing, even though they've been lying
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  to you the whole time. They could have been cheating on
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  you or whatever they could have been doing or just waiting till
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  one thing to live off of you is a very unique space in very
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  unique space. Well, like I said, the main ways
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  that they do it, they just pray they they will.
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  Y'all, do narcissists always go after kind, caring, empathetic
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  people? Not necessarily.
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  Not necessarily because you know, physical attraction plays
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  a big role in it. But then I mean lust and all
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  that other stuff. But then who you are, like who
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  you are, determines the way the relationship is going to go with
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  a narcissist or a tax person. I mean not just narcissist or a
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  tax person with anybody for that matter.
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  Like who you are, you, you, you, you who you are determines what
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  a where it goes. So you have to keep it up.
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  You have to keep moving forward. You have to keep empowering
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  yourself. Y'all this is the empowerment
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  channel, you know, this is seriously the empowerment
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  channel. It just is.
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  So thank you all for tuning in. If made it this for y'all, I'll
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  have a keep on the keep a lookout.
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  I have a free group workshop that I'm going to be doing here
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  in the next couple of weeks before Christmas.
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  Keep eye on, it's going to be over zoom.
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  It's going to be like private. It's free.
• 11:04
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• 11:06
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  Thank you so much for making it to the end of my video.
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  Peace.