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273. Many Solopreneurs Stay Stuck Because They Don’t Do This · The Life-First Solopreneur

• 0:00
  Carly Ries: What if the thing holding your business back isn't your idea, your strategy, or your skills, but your silence? So many solopreneurs spend months, sometimes even years, refining their idea in private, tinkering, researching, waiting until it's ready. But here's the truth. The moment you say your dream out loud is the moment everything changes. Because when your idea exists outside your head, it becomes real.
• 0:23
  And when it becomes real, people can help you build it. This is not a conversation you want to miss. You're listening to the Aspiring Solopreneur, the podcast for anyone on the solo business journey, whether you're just toying with the idea, taking your first bold step, or have been running your own show for years and want to keep growing, refining, and thriving. I'm Carly Ries, and along with my cohost Joe Rando, we're your guides through the crazy but awesome world of being a company of one. As part of LifeStarr, a digital hub dedicated to all things solopreneurship, we help people design businesses that align with their life's ambitions so they can work to live, not live to work.
• 1:03
  If you're looking for a get rich quick scheme, this is not the place for you. But if you want real world insights from industry experts, lessons from the successes and stumbles of fellow solopreneurs, and practical strategies for building and sustaining a business you love, you're in the right spot. Because flying solo in business doesn't mean you're alone. No matter where you are in your journey, we've got your back. So, Joe, you know that I went to this, entrepreneur women's retreat in Colorado Springs last weekend.
• 1:34
  And it was just so amazing to be in this room, basically of women solopreneurs. I mean, there were some entrepreneurs, but it was primarily solopreneurs. And I wanna talk about one of the takeaways from this event because it sounds so simple, but it is so wildly powerful. And that is to say your business idea or your dream out loud. And I don't mean in your notes app, or in your head, or in a maybe someday board or whatever, which if you're in division boards, that's fine.
• 2:07
  Maybe put it there too. But say it to another human because the second you say it out loud, it becomes real. And when it becomes real, other people can attach to it. And that's really when things start moving. But what I've noticed about solopreneurs is that they like to build quietly.
• 2:24
  And we've seen this time and time and again that they tweak, research, refine. And they think they're being strategic, but they're just being private. And that feels safe to them, honestly. But then no one knows what you're building
• 2:38
  Joe Rando: Yep.
• 2:39
  Carly Ries: No one can help you build it. And that's what I wanna talk about today. It brings me to the topic of community in a very roundabout way.
• 2:49
  Joe Rando: So to be clear though, you're talking about community in terms of other people as opposed to, an online community, you know, like a mining networks or a circle or school or something like that. You're talking about just community as a concept.
• 3:02
  Carly Ries: Joe, did you read the outline I sent you? Because I have three different types of communities they think people should have. Did you know that?
• 3:11
  Joe Rando: No. I didn't see it, you sent me something, but then I never clicked the link.
• 3:15
  Carly Ries: You know what? It's so funny. Maybe we're just turning into each other, and you can read my mind. But that's literally where I'm going. The types of community the people should be surrounding themselves with.
• 3:26
  Joe Rando: So basically,
• 3:28
  Carly Ries: You laid out the perfect transition without even knowing that. It was exactly right. What we needed.
• 3:34
  Joe Rando: Perfect.
• 3:35
  Carly Ries: So three types of community. And I am not the person to originate this idea. The gal I heard it from, her name is Brooke Nicholas. She's an entrepreneur here in Colorado Springs. I don't even know if it's her original idea, but she talked about it and I loved it.
• 3:50
  So I'm gonna share it today. So the worst type of community is what she called a sustaining community. And these are the people that know you through and through, which is apparently us now at this point. But it's each other's sandwiches, as they say in Frozen. But these are the people that have seen your pivot, they've seen your doubts, they've seen you almost quit, which as a solopreneur, obviously, impostor syndrome can get in there.
• 4:17
  But this is the community that is still here. Being your cheerleaders, being your critics, and everything through it all, they don't necessarily push you harder. And they don't necessarily expand your network, but they sustain you. And they tell you when you're wrong. They tell you when they think you're onto something, and they're along with you for the ride.
• 4:38
  So when you say your dream out loud to these people, they say, of course you can. Now just figure out how to do it. And sometimes that's the type of community that just keeps solopreneurs going. So I'll stop there. Any thoughts on this type of community?
• 4:51
  Joe Rando: Yeah. My thought is that, yes, this is awesome. It's not easy sometimes to find these kinds of ones because, you know, even if they know you deeply, sometimes they don't get the idea of solopreneurship entrepreneurship. and so the only thing I think I wanna point out is that there are the kind of inverse of these in your life are the people that are the naysayers that are telling you you can't do it. You know, oh, that's too hard.
• 5:20
  It's impossible. You know, that's not for you. And a lot of people I see a lot of people talking about this kind of impact in their lives as they started trying to get their businesses going. And I was blessed that I did not have that in my life. My dad was an entrepreneur.
• 5:36
  He loved entrepreneurship, and encouraged me. My mother was one of those moms that encouraged anything. So I didn't have that as I got started. And, you know, my friends were all supportive. But a lot of people don't have that.
• 5:50
  And I think it's really, really important to know that, that's out there, and you need to get away from it.
• 5:56
  Carly Ries: Mhmm. Well, then on the flip side of that, you don't want somebody that's just going to be your cheerleader. I'd liken it to chat GPT. If you don't train chat GPT, it's always gonna agree with you.
• 6:05
  Joe Rando: Oh, it's almost annoying. But, yeah, that that's right. That was my mom. You know, everything I did was right. My dad would go, yeah. I don't think so.
• 6:14
  And that's what you need. You need that somebody's gonna get right in your face and tell you when you're wrong, you know, nicely but firmly.
• 6:23
  Carly Ries: Yeah. Absolutely. Well, and this can even just be, two or three people. Like, this doesn't need to be, you need 20 people in this type of community. But the second type of community she mentioned was the stretching community.
• 6:37
  And that's kinda what it sounds like. These are the people who lovingly call you to expand. They hear what your business is. They hear what your dream is, and they say that's great, but why are you playing it so small? And this doesn't mean expanding with employees or anything, but a lot of times solopreneurs think that if they're just this one tiny person, that they really can't make that big of an impact, and that's not true.
• 7:02
  So this type of community questions your pricing. They challenge your thinking. They call out blind spots, and it's not always comfortable, but it's necessary. And you if you have this type of community, it helps you feel a little bit more safe, to expand your horizon. So these are the people like mentors or a trusted community of people in your space that you can talk to, people you look up to.
• 7:30
  So it's not that safe space, my best friend, my mom, my dad, anything like that. It's the people that push you. I would say, Joe, you're kinda like that for me, if we're being honest.
• 7:41
  Joe Rando: I'm glad. That's what I would like to be. But you got me thinking, and this is a little bit of a shameless plug, but it's free. So we just had a solopreneur problem solvers event, and I was playing that role in my group where I was kinda pushing somebody to kinda say, hey. Wait a minute.
• 7:59
  You know? Can you do this a little better, a little differently, a little bigger? And, and I think that's helpful. It's a helpful way to help people think. I think this is a really good idea.
• 8:12
  Carly Ries: Yeah. And this is the community that helps you grow. And for the record, you can do a shameless plug because this is our show and we can do whatever we want. Especially if it's free. So the third community she talked about was the scaling community. these are the people who expand your opportunity. So you have the core group, you have the push yourself group, and then you have the opportunity group. And they introduce you to rooms you wouldn't normally be in. They help refer clients. They help you collaborate.
• 8:44
  They get your message and then amplify it. But they can't help you scale if they don't know what you want. So you have to keep your dream. So sorry, I said that backwards. If you keep your dream private, you are limiting this group.
• 8:59
  But if you say it out loud, now these people can help you connect the dots to expand that message, and just build that momentum that you need.
• 9:10
  Joe Rando: That is absolutely true and very, powerful. But, one of the things to keep in mind is that some of the best ways to have people wanna help you is to help them. And, maybe the way you help them is small compared to what they can do for you, but, it still can be, you know, a quid pro quo, if you will, or, just a way of of having reciprocity. So just going in and ask people to help you. You know, I had this guy come to me, and ask me to mentor him.
• 9:42
  I don't know the guy. I've never met him. It was just a LinkedIn message. I looked at his website. It was really confusing.
• 9:51
  I gave him a little bit of advice in an in mail. But then I was like, oh, will you be my mentor? And it's like, gee. You know? I'm doing this for a lot of people, and, I just don't understand why I should drop everything to help you grow your business.
• 10:07
  You know? It just was like a weird ask. You know? He just kinda came in and asked me for stuff. Never did anything for me.
• 10:13
  Never offered to help me. And I think that, that's something to keep in mind is you know, doing little things to help people, all of a sudden, they volunteer.
• 10:21
  Carly Ries: Joe, okay. I know you didn't look at the outline I sent you, and I didn't even send you my notes of what I wanted to talk to. Can I read my notes verbatim of what I was just about to say?
• 10:31
  Joe Rando: Sure.
• 10:32
  Carly Ries: This is verbatim. I have this written down in front of me of what I wanted to say. Community must be mutually beneficial. The healthiest communities are reciprocal. They help you refer, you connect, you share opportunities, and you celebrate wins.
• 10:49
  So one mind. You were right on where I was going with that. I don't even need to read the rest of my notes So yeah. I'm so glad you went there because that is exactly what I was gonna say.
• 11:04
  Now some people may be asking, okay, well how do I build some of those communities? Sometimes, some people might argue that the first community might be the easiest because it's the people you're closest to. What about the other stuff?
• 11:16
  And her recommendation is, with boundaries, of course, but to try to say yes to most meetings that come your way. Whether it's over coffee or Zoom, in person, whatever. Because you don't know if the conversation is gonna become a client, a referral, a collaborator, a friend even, that could be in that inner circle, or just a completely new direction with your partner or service. She is a community builder here locally, this gal that was presenting. And she said, I literally just said yes to everything.
• 11:49
  Because I didn't know where it was gonna take me, and it took her to where she is today. So in terms of, we don't all like taking those meetings, but let's just say, to set boundaries, you have twenty minutes to take this one. I'd love to connect. Let's be helpful together. Like set those boundaries, but try to be the yes guy to build that community and expand your opportunities.
• 12:10
  Joe Rando: I think there's some timing involved there. That's something that, especially early in your journey, you're gonna wanna do that. You're gonna wanna get out there, because you don't have it all figured out. And meeting people and talking to people can get you good connections, good ideas.
• 12:22
  As you get your business established and developed and you're running a successful business, sometimes then you have to put some some additional boundaries up and say, you know, I have limited time to invest in just saying yes. not to never say yes, but, we always talk about the power of saying no. Right? So there's a little bit of a balance. But early in the process and I remember, John Jantz is talking about, I always say, you know, focus down, niche down.
• 12:46
  And he said, well, early on, sometimes it's better just to try a bunch of things to see what you like. And I think that's a valid perspective. So this is kind of something that might be viewed differently when you're starting out a business or starting out a new path versus once you're established and things are going well.
• 13:01
  Carly Ries: I think that is a great, great point. So, yeah, I challenge our listeners to say your business, your idea, your vision for your business out loud, and see where it takes you to start making those connections. And Joe, can I end the episode with my saying?
• 13:16
  Joe Rando: Absolutely.
• 13:17
  Carly Ries: Because flying solo in business doesn't mean you're alone. Listeners, thank you so much for tuning in. Share this episode with a friend who you think needs to hear it, who has an idea and just hasn't said it out loud. Subscribe to our show on your favorite podcast platform, including YouTube. We've started getting really into YouTube shorts, and they're awesome.
• 13:37
  And we're just kinda dropping little nuggets there, so be sure to subscribe to that channel. And as always, leave us a five star review. It helps us spread the word. Amplify our message to other solopreneurs,
• 13:48
  Joe Rando: Yeah. Can I jump in on that? Because you know, we started this thing a few years ago, and we're Nowheresville. And, you know, we've gotten up to the point where we've hit the top two and a half percent of all podcasts, all podcasts globally, and we've been stuck there for, over a year.
• 14:09
  And it would mean so much to us if people would go to Apple Podcasts or, someplace like that and just leave a review. Five stars preferably, but leave a review. And if it's as our buddy Jay says, if it's not the worst thing ever, you know, give us a five star review. really we do this and invest our time and energy and money. And if just you could just drop that review, it would mean so much to us that it would get us spread out more.
• 14:40
  More people would know about it and, give us that satisfaction of knowing that we're growing and we're doing better. So just a big ask here, but please do that for us if you would.
• 14:52
  Carly Ries: Yes. You guys are our scaling community. We would so appreciate it. We'll see you next week on The Aspiring Solopreneur. You may be going solo in business, but that doesn't mean you're alone.
• 15:05
  In fact, millions of people are in your shoes, running a one person business and figuring it out as they go. So why not connect with them and learn from each other's successes and failures? At LifeStarr, we're creating a one person business community where you can go to meet and get advice from other solopreneurs. Be sure to join in on the conversations at community.lifestarr.com.