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Narcissists do whatever it takes to make you feel safe and trust them · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  What is going on beautiful people?
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  Welcome to another episode of the narcissist Code.
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  I'm your favorite selfaware narcissist Mr. Lee Hammock
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  better known as mental illness across all social media
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  platforms. This is your first time seeing
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  my face or hearing my lovely voice.
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  I'm a clinically diagnosed narcissist and needs my platform
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  on social media to raise awareness for NPD.
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  Get more people in the therapy like myself and also validate
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  the victim, survivors and thrivers of said disorder, said
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  Toxy. People said toxic traits.
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  Today's episode is going to be about how some narcissists set
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  you up to not some all narcissists.
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  Most narcissists set you up to trust them and feel safe.
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  So before we hop into today's episode y'all already know I got
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  to shout out the selflove journal my selflove journal I
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  love me. A selflove journal to help me
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  rebuild their selflove and identity before doing after a
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  touch of relationship available Amazon Lee Hammock I love me but
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  yeah y'all yeah, yeah, yeah. That's one of the main things
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  that narcissistic people want to do during during the love
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  bombing phase. Get you to trust them.
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  Get you to feel safe because that's what so many people say.
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  Y'all. So I've talked to so many people
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  overdoing my one on ones over zoom in the last I thought
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  there's so many people this year like doing one on ones over
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  zoom. And that's one of the main
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  things that they say I like. How did you feel in the
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  beginning of the relationship? And so many people say I felt
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  safe. So many people say I felt safe
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  with this person. A lot of a lot of times you feel
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  safe with this narcissistic person because you're in a state
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  of vulnerability, like you're going through something else in
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  your life and this person is there for you.
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  You see what I'm saying? So you feel safe and you feel
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  safe enough to be vulnerable and open and honest to this person
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  and they take advantage of it. Y'all they do say, become
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  whoever they need to be to get you to feel safe with them.
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  Hey, look, you can feel safe with me or one thing that
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  they'll do, y'all they'll share some trauma with you.
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  They'll share a horrible experience and they could be
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  lying y'all. Sometimes they share a horrible
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  experience that they that didn't even happen to them.
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  They'll share a horrible experience to get you to trust
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  them even more. They're like okay.
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  Look, this is what I'm going to do.
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  You. I want you to.
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  I want you to trust me even more.
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  So this is what I'm going to do. I'll give you a little bit of
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  trauma or some bad things that have happened to me in my
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  relationship. Especially if you have trauma
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  dumped on me. If you over share it with me,
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  right. If you share it, if you share it
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  with me, what you're going through, I can match your
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  trauma. I can match what you've been
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  through, or I can give you a sad, a sadder story that I might
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  again, y'all that I might be lying about.
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  I've heard narcissists that people lie about their parents
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  being their parents not being here.
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  They're them having cancer. So y'all did the narcissists
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  having cancer. The narcissists said I have
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  cancer to get you to like and I don't.
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  I haven't shared it with anybody because I don't.
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  I would y'all. They'll share little things with
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  you and do whatever it takes to get you to just feel like I feel
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  safe with this person. This person is going to protect
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  me. And the crazy think about it is
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  y'all. The person that makes you feel
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  safest right now in this moment is the person that you're going
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  to need safety from later on. Let me say it again in case you
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  missed it. The person that makes you feel
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  safe right now, the safest right now is the person that you're
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  going to need safety from later on.
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  You know what I mean? That's how it goes in a lot of
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  these types of relationship spaces and dynamics.
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  Y'all they're going to make you feel safe.
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  So because they get once you feel safe with them, they'll
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  they can you let them get away with things you mean.
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  Once you feel safe with them, you'll forgive them for things.
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  Once they start doing bad things to you, once the mask comes off,
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  you'll forgive them because they were there for you.
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  Remember expect that This is why tell people y'all.
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  If you're fresh out of a relationship, if you're fresh
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  going through some type of trauma where you're somebody has
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  passed away in your life, a pet has passed away, your friend
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  somebody else you lost a job, whatever y'all.
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  If you are in a vulnerable state do not go out here and date.
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  Do not go out here and date y'all because it's like I'm
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  telling you, it's like some narcissistic people can can
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  sense the vulnerability. It's like blood in the water for
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  a shark. They're just like doom, doom,
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  doom. They make eye contact.
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  Yeah, y'all make eye contact. Like jaws coming to get you them
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  shark. Little narc fan goes up on top
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  of the head like that little narc fan, like a shark.
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  You know how that little shark fans come above water?
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  So you see where the shark is at.
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  The little narc fan goes above the crowd in the bar or the club
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  or above the grocery, the grocery store aisles or the gym.
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  Wherever you at, you see a little narc fan like doom, doom,
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  doom. They're hunting your.
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  Yeah, they're. I'm sorry.
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  They're coming for your vulnerability.
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  So y'all. You have to protect yourself.
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  So if you're vulnerable, don't. Yeah.
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  If you're vulnerable, they're going to make you feel safe.
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  They're going to be, they're going to be there for you.
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  I thought there's so many people who share the same type of
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  story. Y'all I was vulnerable.
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  They were there for me. I thought they were my person.
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  I thought I could feel safe with them.
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  I thought I could feel protected with protected with them.
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  I get. I thought I could trust them.
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  Because you have to. You have to trust somebody
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  before you can feel safe with them, right?
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  So narcissistic people tend to do whatever it takes to get you
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  to trust them. Because trust is a trust is
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  tantamount y'all. Trust is key.
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  You want you need that trust. You want that trust, right?
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  You need it. You want it.
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  You crave it. You see what I'm saying?
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  That's why a lot of narcissistic people do y'all.
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  That's what they do. That's how it goes right there.
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  You know what I mean? They want you to trust them
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  because once you trust them, they got you.
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  Once they reel you in, they got you.
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  Once they get into that mindset and like once they get, they got
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  you, you going to like say and it's sad because they're going
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  you going to forgive them for things that they do because you
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  trust them, because you love them, because you see what I'm
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  saying and it happens, it happens.
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  Don't beat yourself up because it happens to everybody.
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  This is just not a one side one thing.
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  This is not just a singular thing that's going to happen to
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  you. It happens to most people who go
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  who are in types of relationships out.
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  It's just one of those things. It really, really is.
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  And it's like, just tell people, don't beat yourself up.
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  Because the more you start to beat yourself up, the more you
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  the more you be like, well, I keep going back to this person
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  because I feel safe with them. Yeah, they're going to.
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  They don't just make you feel safe one time.
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  As a narcissist, we're going to make you feel safe multiple
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  times. If we lie to you, we'll promise
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  you to never do it again, right? We'll console you if like, if we
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  make you cry, this is the toxicity right here.
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  Y'all. If we make you cry, we are the
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  person that wipes your tears sometimes.
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  And that connects you and confuses you even more, doesn't
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  it? No, it so the the, the back and
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  forth, stuff like that. I don't think narcissistic
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  people do that intentionally. Because this just kind of it's
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  kind of like subconscious programming.
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  What we do. We see you cry, we jump, we turn
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  into hero mode. Forget who made you cry.
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  Who who made you cry? Is it relevant?
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  Right. We're consoling you.
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  You found out we were cheating on you.
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  Now we were. You were crying, But who crying
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  now? We're promising to change.
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  Now we're promising to be there. We promised it'll never hurt you
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  again. So guess what?
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  You trust us because you met us during the time my cat just
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  going crazy. Get the zoomies.
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  You trust us because you met us during the time of vulnerability
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  and things of that nature. Y'all.
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  If I tell people, just take your time, power yourself up, protect
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  your peace. Because yeah, I'm telling you,
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  take your time with people if you if you if you don't think
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  you're ready to guard her and date.
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  Don't date if you if you're already in a relationship that
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  you're unhappy in. Don't cheat on your partner
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  because yeah, I've heard it. I hear this happen so many times
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  right here to y'all people get into these people get in moments
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  of vulnerability where they you have a partner in your life,
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  there's something that's going wrong with your relationship and
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  you find yourself in a vulnerable state and you go
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  ahead and cheat on that person and guess what happens?
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  You cheat on it. You cheat on your partner with a
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  narcissist. So imagine being traumber bonded
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  to your fair partner. Y'all It happens.
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  It happens. You know, I tell people just
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  like in your state, in your If you have problems going on in
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  your marriage, fight in your marriage And your partner is not
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  toxic. Don't go all here in the states
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  of vulnerability. My partner is not toxic.
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  They treat me well. I'm just unhappy right now.
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  I don't know what to do. And meet somebody that you cheat
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  with because you might cheat with a narcissistic person.
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  That's going to ruin your life, I promise you.
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  Or threaten to ruin your life. It happens so many times.
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  Y'all. It happens so many times.
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  I'm just telling you, people get wrapped up, people get wrapped
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  up and it's like, this is no, this is no judgment zone over
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  here. Y'all this is the Planet Fitness
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  of narcissism content. We don't judge with both here
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  because I know how the human mind works, you know, in moment,
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  in states of vulnerability, I know how the human mind works
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  and whatnot. You know, man, So I just tell
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  people in these situations, in these scenarios that you have to
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  empower yourself. Y'all this is one of the things
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  that you have to do. Like if you're vulnerable, don't
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  go out here and date. Because narcissistic people,
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  they will do whatever, say whatever, to get you to trust
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  them to feel safe repeatedly. Not just one time, multiple
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  times. Y'all, multiple times, multiple
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  times. It's like narcissistic people
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  are stockpiling, stockpiling good deeds that they do for you.
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  And it's like little bank account and they keep doing it
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  over and over and over again. He's like, damn, this person is
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  just they they're they're consistently there for me.
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  I don't know what you know. If they're there for me, you get
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  narcissists aren't there for you, you start questioning
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  yourself. Y'all, don't question yourself.
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  They're narcissistic, toxic person.
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  Yeah, they're going to be doing a lot of things to you to get
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  you to trust, you know what I'm saying?
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  Power yourself up. Y'all, don't go.
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  I was just telling you. Yeah, yeah, Lee.
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  I need Lee. I want to date.
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  What if I want to date I've been lonely for so long.
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  Like y'all when you're ready and trust your intuition because I'm
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  just telling you narcissistic people present.
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  Well, we present. We present well.
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  Presentation on on presentation is on point.
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  Y'all so if you find yourself feeling safe for somebody, I'm
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  not telling you to question the safety.
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  I'm just telling you to do an internal scan.
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  Y'all do an internal scan. Do an internal check on yourself
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  and your surroundings in this relationship, is this moving?
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  To ask yourself the question y'all is this moving too fast?
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  Am I really happy? Am I am I going, is this going
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  to go to hell or really, really fast?
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  Ask yourself these deep penetrating questions because
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  you want to feel. You want to feel safe and
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  protect yourself. Y'all because if you don't I'm
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  just telling you you're going to feel safe with the wrong person
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  and you that you're going to put your it's like we if you feel
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  safe for the when you feel safe for somebody, right.
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  This is my mind right here. Y'all, and I'm going to close it
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  out with this analogy. When you feel safe for the
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  person right, you are willing to take your heart and put it in
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  there. Safe.
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  You said they have a safe. They they open the safe up and
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  they're like, look, you can trust me.
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  You can trust me with your vulnerability.
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  You can trust me with your heart.
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  You can feel safe with me and then you're you're super.
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  You feel safe. You're like, you're right.
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  I can feel safe and then you feel safe with them.
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  You take your heart and you put in their chest and they lock it
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  and they close it up and lock it and they run off with it.
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  They hold your heart hostage and that's why it's so hard to leave
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  these toxic relationships because they holding your heart,
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  they holding your heart hostage and they don't want to let it
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  go. Make sure you put your heart in
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  the right safe. Make sure you put your heart in
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  the safe. That's that's that's trustworthy
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  in a Brinks not on links. I'm not safe.
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  Anyways y'all think I was tuned into another episode.
• 10:56
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  through. You're resilient as beep you're
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  in. Anyways, y'all like to subscribe
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• 11:26
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