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Some Narcissists like to play the hero for others · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  What is going on beautiful people?
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  Welcome to another episode of the Narcissist Code.
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  I'm your favorite selfaware narcissist, Mr. Lee Hammock,
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  better known as mental illness across all social media
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  platforms. This is the first time I see my
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  face or hearing my voice. I'm a clinically diagnosed
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  narcissist and use my platform on social media to raise the
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  words for NPD, get more people into therapy and also validate
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  the victim, survivors and thrivers said.
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  It sort of said talk to people said talk to Trace.
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  Today's episode is going to be about how some narcissists like
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  to play the hero Hero mode. Narcissistic people, y'all
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  heroes. Before we hop into today's
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  episode, y'all take a look at the new shirt again on impact
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  over intent from the self love brand right here.
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  Because we know that impact is, you know, your intentions may be
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  good, but the impact is what really matters because the
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  impact comes out bigger. A lot of times you might have
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  good intent but the impact might come out negative.
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  So think before you act. You know what I'm saying?
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  This is available in the self love shop like it's in the
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  description of every video and podcast that I do.
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  But but but big old butt, back to the topic at hand.
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  Y'all playing the hero. I know a lot of people see
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  narcissists as victims. Any narcissists, A lot of
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  narcissists ourselves, we see us, we see ourselves as victims
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  as well. So.
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  But a lot of narcissistic people like to play the hero because we
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  don't want to feel like we're bad people, right?
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  Most narcissists don't want to feel like we are bad people.
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  Like, at all. We want to feel like we're good
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  people. And when you make us feel like
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  we're a bad person, that's when we attack.
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  You know? There's typically no in between.
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  In the mindset of a narcissist. He's like, it's either all good
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  or all bad. If you make me feel like I'm all
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  bad, I need to go into attack. So in order to feel good, I do
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  good. I need to do good things.
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  I need to play the hero to a lot of people in my life at first,
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  especially in the intimate relationship.
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  Narcissistic people play the hero role to you.
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  They do good things. They they're there to pick you
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  up and rescue you when you need them.
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  They are there for you. It's like it's damn near like
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  you can put the narcissist symbol in the air and the
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  narcissist will show like the bat symbol.
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  You put the you can, you can put the symbol, whatever symbol
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  represents the narcissistic person in your life.
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  You can shine like a beacon in the air and they will show up,
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  they want play the hero so bad they they will show up at the
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  drop of a hat and whatnot to try to be there for you and save you
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  and help you out. But eventually that goes away.
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  Do any love bombing idealization stage that our statistic person
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  wants to be there for you and show you that look how good I
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  am, look how good a person I am. That's how they get you.
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  They don't. Most times they don't get you by
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  showing you how bad a person they are.
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  That it typically doesn't work. That way of getting, getting
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  love, receiving love, love bombing typically doesn't work
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  that way right there. Y'all.
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  It just doesn't work when you're dealing with a narcissistic
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  person. Like it doesn't work for a
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  narcissistic person to start off by showing you how bad a person
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  I am. You know that.
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  Like who leads with negativity? Like who leads by being negative
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  with you in your life, telling you being horrible to you.
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  Most people don't lead and can't can't love by you with
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  negativity most times. Like I I don't say all times, I
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  say most times because sometimes, you know, there's
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  always outliers. I I try not to speak in
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  absolutes when I talk about narcissists and talks to
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  relationships overall, but it does happen quite a bit though.
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  Y'all. So doing the love by my
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  idealization phase, that narcissistic person going to
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  play the hero not only to you, but to other people around you
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  as well. Hey, call Lee.
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  I need some help. Call Lee's going to be there for
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  you. Super Lee.
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  Boom. I'm popping up.
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  I'm doing things for you. I'm giving there.
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  I'm. I'm being there for you.
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  I'm active in your life. I'm doing everything that you
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  want and need, right? Because I'm loved by me.
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  I want to play the hero. I need to be the hero in your
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  life so you feel like you can depend on me.
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  Like, you know, I do that. But then you get into the
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  dynamic and you get into the space where after the love
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  bombing ends and you transition to the after the love bombing
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  ends and you transition to the the the value phase.
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  That's when things start to happen.
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  That's when they stop playing the hero to you and start
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  playing them near them, near the villain.
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  They start playing a they start taking, you know, start seeking
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  A villain role in your life down there.
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  They start, They stop doing everything that you want and
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  need. They stop being there for you.
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  Like in the beginning they might have been there for you when you
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  were sick and you needed them, but now they're nowhere to be
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  found. Like your sickness or your like.
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  If you being you being sick or you having feelings
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  inconveniences, you inconveniences them or annoys
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  them. They don't want to be.
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  They don't want to be there. They don't want to deal with
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  that, right. In the beginning, they were
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  there for you when you were sick.
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  You know, they showed you empathy.
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  They were there for you. They played the hero to your
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  friends and family, to their friends and family.
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  They played the they had a big hero role going on, right.
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  But now, now they don't do that. Now they've they've withdrawn
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  all of this stuff. Now they've done so much stuff,
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  so much, you know, negativity and stuff like that to you.
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  They take it away from you. They don't.
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  They no longer want to play the hero role to you, to you.
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  But guess what? And they continue to play the
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  hero and cultivate a good reputation out in public to
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  other people if you have a hero role, narcissistic person, like
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  typically they end up being like communal narcissists where they
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  have a good role in the community anyway.
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  Pastor, firefighter, police officer, whatever, dynamic
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  lawyer, doctor. They help people use what I'm
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  saying. Nonprofits, whatever, you know,
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  they have this hero role where they look like a good person.
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  They plan a hero in the community that they don't.
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  They donate to the homeless. They do whatever they need to do
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  to have a good reputation. They still keep doing that to
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  everybody in public, but behind closed doors, they no longer
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  play the hero to you. They've got, they've got you.
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  They don't feel like like I've got you where I need you.
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  I've got you where I want you. Why do I need to keep doing the
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  same things? Why do I need to put, put?
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  Why do I need to keep putting it in this effort and this energy
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  and this time and stuff like that with you?
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  If I would have already got you? What more work do I need to do
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  when I've already feel like I've secured you?
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  You see what I'm saying? That's what happens a lot of
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  time in these types of relationships, They just, they
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  they feel like they got you. They don't feel like they don't
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  need to put any more work here. Because I have you now.
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  I got you. You are mine.
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  You belong to me. So I'm not going to put the.
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  I'm not necessarily going to be the hero to you anymore.
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  I'm turning to the villain now. Now you see me as the villain.
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  But what annoys you is what annoys the person that's with
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  the narcissist, the narcissistic person, is that they still play
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  the hero to other people. They still have this good image
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  to other people. So they they still or the nice
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  girl that that the nice guy or the nice girl or the nice person
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  out there in public to other people, but not to you.
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  And that that's annoying to you, that's frustrating to you.
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  It gets in your last damn nerves because you why can't they be
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  their way with you anymore, right?
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  It's sometimes it can make you jealous of other people in your
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  life or in the person just in the person in the narcissistic
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  person's life because they still need to cultivate the good
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  reputation in public. You know what I'm saying?
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  They can't just they can't withdraw the good deeds in
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  public because people might start looking at looking at them
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  as a bad person overall, you know, they don't look at them as
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  a good person anymore. So most narcissists want to
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  protect their reputation at all, cause most narcissists want to
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  do this. You know, most narcissists want
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  to seek. No, not necessarily seek it.
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  Yeah, they do seek it. Most narcissist want to seek a
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  good reputation. They seek it.
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  But with you, they don't need to do it.
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  Because now I've cultivated such a good reputation in public, I
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  don't need to do it with you anymore.
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  Why do I need to do it with you now?
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  But I already got you. I know.
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  And I know people that believe that's not fair.
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  Of course it's not fair. Are you dealing with a
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  narcissistic person? Why would it be fair?
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  You know what I mean? Fairness kind of go, kind of
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  goes out the door with a narcissistic person.
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  The craziest thing is the back. The kind of backwards thing is
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  just because the narcissist stops love by me, you, that
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  doesn't mean that they want you. You get to stop doing the stuff
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  that you do, the stuff that you you, you get to stop doing the
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  stuff, the the the, the acts and stuff that you've been
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  providing. You don't get to stop doing that
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  because the narcissistic person, the love by me phases.
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  It has ended. You don't get to stop, but I do,
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  if that makes sense. So if you're dealing with a
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  narcissist or a toxic person, this is the way it's going to
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  go. Y'all they're going to play.
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  You're going to watch them play the hero to other people, Be
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  nice to other people, be kind to other people and you get the
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  remnants of that. You get the the aftershock of
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  that, or you get nothing at all. They might not even put any more
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  time, effort, energy into being with you or cultivating a good
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  reputation with you anymore. They might be done with it.
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  You see what I'm saying? They might be done with you in
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  this circumstance, in this situation.
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  So you had to be very weary of this because it it's going to,
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  like I said, it does. It does happen quite a bit.
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  It isn't like me trying to just like, well, you just making
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  stuff like y'all know I'm not here to make stuff up or to lie
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  to you, manipulate you. That's not what I do, you know?
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  I mean I do like say a lot of people can look at my, look at
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  my platform and just say, hey Lee, you're doing the exact same
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  thing you said narcissist do. You're cultivating a good
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  reputation. But the difference between me
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  and a lot of other Narciss is I'm cultivating a good
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  reputation in public and I'm doing it behind the scenes too.
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  You see my wife, she comes on her, she does lives and stuff
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  like that. We have another live plan here
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  pretty soon with me and my wife. We're going to announce it here.
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  Been a little busy here lately, but we're going to announce it
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  here in the next couple of weeks.
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  Next couple days when we're going to do our next, like, team
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  up, live and answer questions or whatever.
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  So, you know, she might do it by herself.
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  She like doing it. I I kind of like her, do what
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  she does by herself. She she feels free.
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  She can do what she wants to do. But we'll set that up here
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  pretty soon. But yeah, y'all narcissistic
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  people. Some of them like to play the
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  heroes. Not all of them.
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  Y'all. Some of them don't care.
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  Like, just keep it real. Some narcissists do not care
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  about playing the hero. They don't care.
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  Some of them just like, oh, they feel entitled to your time,
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  effort, energy. They feel entitled to a good
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  reputation. They feel entitled for people to
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  look at that, look up to them and see them as a role model.
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  They feel entitled in that aspect of things right there.
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  Y'all So you can't, like I said, just because they narcissistic
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  person says that they are finished.
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  Like I said, they're done with you.
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  They're not done with you. Just because they stop love by
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  me you does not mean they they will stop love by me.
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  The world, everybody gets a different version of the
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  narcissist. And typically, typically,
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  typically he's the Greek God of maybe you get the worst version,
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  be close to you, the kids get the worst version, you know,
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  that's just how it goes sometimes.
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  Y'all I wish, I wish things can be different.
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  Sometimes they are, but both times they are not.
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  You know what I mean? But anyway, let me cut this
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  video short. I turn the fan on and it's a
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  little hot, little toasty. Make sure they tell you to check
• 10:28
  out the self love brand impact over Intent because I want to
• 10:31
  leave a good impact on the world.
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  You see what I'm saying? I want to leave a good impact on
• 10:35
  the world. This is available.
• 10:36
  So in a self love store, self love shop and what not.
• 10:39
  Have a self love course. Make sure you subscribe to the
• 10:41
  newsletter. My my kids book is about to be
• 10:44
  released here I think next week so be beware of the kids book.
• 10:47
  Stay tuned, light and subscribe for more.
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  Mental illness is out. Peace.
• 10:51
  What is going on? Beautiful people.
• 10:52
  Thank you so much for making it to the end of my video, watching
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  it all way through. Y'all.
• 10:56
  If you haven't already, go ahead, go ahead and hit that
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  subscribe button. Y'all turn on notification so
• 11:01
  you don't miss the video and whatnot and so we can help reach
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  more people. Like I said in the beginning,
• 11:05
  the Self Love brand is available.
• 11:08
  I have a Self love journal that's available on Amazon as
• 11:10
  well to help you rebuild that self love Lee Hammock.
• 11:13
  I love me on Amazon and whatnot. Also do one of ones over zoom
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  and such as well. Y'all like and subscribe for
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  award, but to whom This is out Feast.